{"id":307496,"date":"2022-05-02T08:02:10","date_gmt":"2022-05-02T12:02:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more\/"},"modified":"2025-05-16T13:45:14","modified_gmt":"2025-05-16T17:45:14","slug":"gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more\/","title":{"rendered":"Gretchen Saffles: Thirsty for more?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Gretchen Saffles knows what it&#8217;s like to feel overwhelmed, unable to thrive. If you&#8217;re longing for more, don&#8217;t miss the way to fullness and peace (at last).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gretchen Saffles knows what it&#8217;s like to feel overwhelmed, unable to thrive. If you&#8217;re longing for more, don&#8217;t miss the way to fullness and peace (at last).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-05-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.27M","filesize_raw":"26501017","date_recorded":"2022-05-02 08:02:10","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2805],"tags":[7085],"podcast_series":[8521],"cwp_profile":[9772],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307496","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","tag-gretchen-saffles","podcast_series-a-tall-drink-of-water","cwp_profile-gretchen-saffles","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307496\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307496\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jM1cF7vy8w\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more\/\">Gretchen Saffles: Thirsty for more?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gretchen-saffles-thirsty-for-more\/embed\/#?secret=jM1cF7vy8w\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Gretchen Saffles: Thirsty for more?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jM1cF7vy8w\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Gretchen Saffles knows what it's like to feel overwhelmed, unable to thrive. If you're longing for more, don't miss the way to fullness and peace (at last).","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the Familylife's on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-05-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<br \/>\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Thirsty for More?<\/p>\n<p>Guest: Gretchen Saffles<br \/>\nFrom the series: Gretchen Saffles: A Tall Drink of Water (Day 1 of 2)<br \/>\nAir date: May 2, 2022<\/p>\n<p>David: Hey, real quick before I pass it to Dave and Ann, this is David Robbins, president at FamilyLife\u00ae. I wanted to take a moment to let you know about an incredible opportunity we have. This month of May, several generous friends of FamilyLife have come together to create a matching challenge of them wanting the message of God\u2019s Word and His help and hope found around marriage and family to go to more people. They want to encourage others to join in and give so that it can go further to more families around the world.<\/p>\n<p>There was a message I received recently from a woman named Diane, who said, \u201cI started listening to FamilyLife Today when I was a new Christian. I sought FamilyLife Today; and your many guests helped guide me and strengthen me in my faith walk, relationships, and parenting; and FamilyLife Today transformed my marriage.\u201d We love hearing stories like this that we often get to hear.<\/p>\n<p>One of the encouraging things is we have seen an 84 percent increase in our radio and podcasts engagement. God is growing the ministry of FamilyLife and the reach of FamilyLife Today. We would love for you to be a part of it. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to explore the options; and your donation will be matched, dollar for dollar, helping more lives encounter God's word.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: In that moment, Christ might be calling me not to fold my laundry but to spend time with my son, who needs to hear the gospel\/who needs to have his heart encouraged and comforted. He may be calling me to bake dinner for my neighbor, who just had a baby. It's really aligning ourselves each day, going: \u201cGod, what have You called me to do in this moment?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the things that I need to surrender and to leave undone?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife app.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Okay, so you've preached a lot over the years\u201430 years of preaching\u2014but you have what you call a Theology of It. Talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes\u2014the Theology of It\u2014you've never heard of it? Anybody ever heard of it?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: No.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: The Theology of It is\u2014and I think everybody has this; we just don't know it\u2014we have some thing that's it: that if we get it, we'll be happy.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, you can go through a journey\u2014I can go through my whole life\u2014I remember when I was like six or seven years old, I begged my mom for a Sting-Ray bike. Anybody remember Sting-Ray bikes?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I had one. It was like the most exciting thing in my life.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Was it: it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It was it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s it; it was not it.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No; but it was it for a day.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You get it\u2014and you ride it for a while\u2014and then you're like, \u201cWell, then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, you get through a whole life: I remember when I got to high school; it\u2019s like, \u201cIf I could get a college scholarship\u2026\u201d; and I got it. I thought it was it; and for a moment, it is; and you go through the whole thing.<\/p>\n<p>And honey, I\u2019ve got to say I thought, at one point, you were it.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wait; I'm not; what happened?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You're amazing; [Laughter] but there's no thing, or person, or amount of money that can be it. But you sort of think\u2014that's why I call it the Theology of It\u2014\u201cIf I just have it, then I'll be happy.\u201d So here's the question: \u201cIs there an it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think so. I mean, I think that's where we're going today; but I think Jesus is the it. And when we find Him, He really is the fulfiller of our soul, of our story, of everything.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And I think every other search will leave us empty\u2014not saying those things are bad; they're actually wonderful: even you and our marriage, it's awesome\u2014but it isn't the end of the well; it's like we're still searching for something.<\/p>\n<p>I just brought up a word\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014that will introduce our guest today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Gretchen Saffles is with us. Gretchen, welcome to FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Thank you for having me; I've been so looking forward to this.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We're excited to have you!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re sitting over there, smiling; I'm guessing you have a Theology of It.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Oh, absolutely! I mean, you're saying that\u2014and I'm going through my mind and thinking of all the its that have progressed over my life\/all the things that I thought:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 \u201cIf I just had that thing,\u201d or \u201c\u2026was in this season of my life, I would have fulfillment and joy; and finally, the peace that I'm longing for.\u201d And then you get that thing, and it falls apart really fast.<br \/>\n\u2022 Or that person that you wanted to take notice of you; they disappoint you.<br \/>\n\u2022 Or that thing you wanted to accomplish; well, yes, you've accomplished it. There's more that you need to do; right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: There's the next rung on the ladder.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: She gets this theology, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes, absolutely; it's infinite. It is infinite if you just keep looking, and it leads us to nothing. I mean, it goes back to Ecclesiastes and Solomon preaching that it's all vanity if you don\u2019t have Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: But when you do have Jesus, those its in this life, they actually become something that makes us enjoy Him more. He is the well that always satisfies and never runs dry. I've come to realize that those things in my life I actually can enjoy them more when my fulfillment is in Christ\/when my satisfaction is in Him and all that He's done for me.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, you've written a book about this\u2014really, it\u2019s kind of that It Theology, in a way\u2014it's called The Well-Watered Woman. You are the creator of Give Me Jesus Quiet Time. You're the founder of this global online women's ministry called Well-Watered Women.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and a mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, a mom.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Alright; so you've got two boys at home,<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Are you having a third boy?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Third girl!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Third one\u2019s a girl.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Maybe that's it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: I think that may be it in a lot of different ways. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But really though\u2014I mean, coming back to that\u2014I always dreamed of having a girl. When I found out the first time I was having a boy, I was sad. I'm going to be totally honest; I was like, \u201cGod, I just thought it was going to be a girl.\u201d Then I had this boy, and I fell in love with him.<\/p>\n<p>And then the second time around\u2014pregnant\u2014I'm like, \u201cThis is a girl.\u201d Find out it's a boy. The day I found out, I just wept. I wept; I was going, \u201cLord, I thought this was going to be a girl.\u201d God had to show me\u2014He pried my fingers open that that was my it\u2014I thought, \u201cIf I just have this little girl that I've always dreamed of, I'm going to have this satisfaction.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And you know\u2014that Theology of It\u2014it sneaks in. It sneaks in, in ways that you just don't realize, until something exposes it; and you realize. For me, it was realizing:<br \/>\n\u2022 \u201cOkay, I'm going to be a boy mom\u201d; and God exposing that I had really idolized having a girl someday; I\u2019d really idolized that.<br \/>\n\u2022 And that the gifts that God is giving me, they are good gifts. And that the greatest gift of all is to know Jesus. It's not to have the things I want in this world, because He knows that they're not going to satisfy. We live in a world that's broken; we walk through brokenness. Even those things that we get\u2014that we think, \u201cOh, this is it,\u201d\u2014in the end, it's not.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think what you're saying is important, because even knowing the Theology of It\u2014and like Ann said, I preached it for 30 years\u2014people in my church are like, \u201cOh, Dave's going into his Theology of It again,\u201d every year. Even if you know it, we still do it.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, that's what I was\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We know Jesus is it\u2014and yet, it's like, \u201cOh, yes; but if I get five more RPMS\u2026\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014or \u201c\u2026five more feet\u2026\u201d or \u201c\u20261000 more square feet\u2026\u201d We end up, still thinking [of a new it]. And then, like you said, something happens; we go, \u201cOh, yes; what am I doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think we, as women, can do it, especially in relationships. Like you're talking about\u2014a child, or a husband, or spouse\u2014and it is this drift. Like I knew Jesus\/I had Jesus, but I feel like, when I was taking my eyes off of Him, they automatically go to\u2014and for me, it was you, Dave [Laughter], thinking: \u201cIf you would just get your stuff together\u2026\u201d that was the it. \u201cIf you would act like this\u2026\u201d or \u201cIf you would do this\u2026\u201d \u201cIf our marriage could look like this\u2026then I could be happy.\u201d It was this slow little drift.<\/p>\n<p>I think that's how our walk with God can be\u2014it's just a slow pulling away\u2014we don't even realize it; but suddenly, we're finding and looking for something else besides Him. And so let's kind of get into this today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; I mean, because in some ways, this is what well-watered woman is; right?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Explain that. What is a well-watered woman? And I'm guessing it would be the same as a well-watered man.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes, absolutely; absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>First, you have to go into: \u201cWhat does it mean not to be a well-watered woman or a well-watered man?\u201d Really, it's life apart from Christ, living the dried-up life that's seeking after the fruitless things of this world that we think will satisfy\/we think will give us joy, and contentment, and peace, and all the things that are in our heart. There's this void\/this ache in our hearts for more, and it can only be satisfied in Christ, our Savior. Apart from Christ, we're seeking; we're striving; we're looking around for all these things\u2014and yet, it leads to nothing\u2014it leads to vanity.<\/p>\n<p>But in Christ, when we come to know Him\/when we come to the end of ourselves, we find everything in Him. The well-watered woman is rooted deeply in God's Word. Her identity is in her Maker, not in the things that she can accomplish, but in all that He has done on the cross for her. She can set aside this empty pursuit of striving\/of trying to measure up to the standards of this world that are impossible; they're impossible. Even the standards that we place for ourselves, I mean, we see that we cannot. Christ is the One who did everything: He lived the life we couldn't live; He died the death we deserved to die in order that we could have true, abundant life in Him.<\/p>\n<p>So to live the well-watered life is to realize that we are nothing apart from Him; and that the things this world has to offer, really, is meaningless. But to know Christ\u2014and to drink deeply from His Word; and to live out the gospel in our life; and for our hope to not be in the things that are in the present, but in heaven; and being with our Savior\/with our God forever, that's the hope that roots us and keeps us going in this world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I'm listening, like, \u201cYes! Yes!\u201d And I'm sure our listeners are like, \u201cYes! Yes!\u201d; but it can also be hard\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: \u2014so hard.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014even for you. You talk about having a panic attack on a plane. Take us back there, because you knew Jesus at this time.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: I did.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So what happens that we aren't living this life that Jesus has promised us?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes; even as a believer, we can get caught up in this pursuit of more, even the pursuit of ministry in the name of Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: We do so many things for Jesus and forget that He calls us to be with Him. I actually was just journaling this week; because I was having this feeling of: \u201cI'm so behind.\u201d I look at my\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014said every woman on the planet. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes; oh, my goodness: I've got two young kids at home; I run a team\/a ministry; and a business. I'm\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014you\u2019re pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: \u2014married; I'm pregnant. And just even looking at the house\u2014I was telling my husband [mournfully], \u201cI'm so behind!\u201d\u2014I literally can't keep up with the laundry, and that's just like one teeny tiny thing in our house. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>As I was just praying about it, and kind of laying out all of these things that I was feeling behind on, I wrote down that: \u201cYou cannot fall behind when you are following Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: See just that right there\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014you cannot fall behind.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: So when we are in step with Him, He doesn't call us to have perfectly-folded laundry every single day to do every single thing. And you know, in that moment, Christ might be calling me, not to fold my laundry, but to spend time with my son, who needs to hear the gospel\/who needs to have his heart encouraged and comforted. He may be calling me to bake dinner for my neighbor, who just had a baby.<\/p>\n<p>It's really aligning ourselves each day and going: \u201cGod, what have You called me to do in this moment?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the things that I need to surrender and to leave undone?\u201d There's a quote just about how the Christian life is about knowing what to leave undone, and really it is!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: It's going: \u201cWhat do I leave behind, Jesus, so I can follow You faithfully today? And He doesn't leave us behind; He doesn't go, \u201cOh, you were going too slow. I cannot keep up with you,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cYou are just too slow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As a matter of fact, I think we go too fast in this world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: This is the pandemic that everybody is facing\u2014is this pandemic of hustle, and hurry, and keeping up\u2014social media is not helping that, because we're connected all the time with people and what they're doing; and we lose connection with our Savior.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I watch Ann: it's really hard for her to let something drop\u2014whether it's the kids, meals, food, you name it\u2014I\u2019m guessing, Gretchen, you're the same way. So how do women especially\u2014and you wrote a book for women\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cHow do you put the priority right?\u201d\u2014where: \u201cOkay, you know what? The laundry doesn't matter right now; spending time with my son does.\u201d You know that;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014how do you do that?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Do you do that?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Not all the time. [Laughter] I want to be completely honest. It's hard; it's a day-by-day surrender to the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things that I was thinking about recently is I have a very busy life\u2014and I know everybody listening, talking to you guys, we all have our own busy lives\u2014but I was actually reading my Bible the other day, and it was so hard to make myself stop. I mean, I just was like: \u201cUh, I need to do all of these other things, but I know this is important.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But even after I spent that time with the Lord, I just realized: \u201cThis is the non-negotiable.\u201d I mean, my heart was ready for the day after just stopping and realizing that the world is going to keep spinning\u2014God\u2019s going to keep things in motion if I am not doing constantly\u2014He calls me to be still, and that's where He guides my steps.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, I think what can happen, too, is we can feel like: \u201cI'm falling behind,\u201d\u2014and I can say this too, \u201cI feel like I'm failing,\u201d\u2014and that can generally slip into, then, \u201cI'm a failure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Or it\/then, it slips into identity issues. You talk about these identity issues; you call them identity roots\u2014I thought that was interesting\u2014and you talk about the rotten roots. What are those rotten identity roots that we say or believe?<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: You're listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Gretchen Saffles on FamilyLife Today. We're going to hear Gretchen's response in just a minute. But first, I wanted to let you know about a special group of people who make conversations like today\u2019s possible; they're called FamilyLife Partners. It's a community of people, who believe in our mission, and give financially every month.<\/p>\n<p>And thanks to some generous Partners, right now, if you sign up to give monthly, you not only receive all the benefits of our Partner program, but your donation will also be doubled for a year. That means, if you give $25 a month, the impact is actually $50 a month. If you give $50 a month, it actually becomes $100. You get the idea; you could probably do the math. On top of that, when you give this month, as our thanks to you, we'll send you a bundle of resources, including two books: Not Part of the Plan by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal and Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas.<\/p>\n<p>Become a monthly Partner; have your gift doubled for the year and get a bundle of books. Pretty good deal; right? You can give today at FamilyLifeToday.com; or by calling 1-800-358-6329; that's 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alright, now back to Dave and Ann with Gretchen Saffles and those rotten identity roots that can alter what we believe about ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: A lot of those come out in our Theology of It; those are exposed whenever we start to realize: \u201cWait; I thought that was going to satisfy me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Our life is constant sanctification. God is constantly working\u2014chiseling at our heart, uprooting these rotten beliefs\u2014thinking that: \u201cI have to be perfect all the time; or God's going to be disappointed in me, and He's going to abandon me.\u201d That\u2019s a rotten root.<\/p>\n<p>And going back to the panic attacks\u2014because you mentioned that about the plane\u2014and I know that there's somebody listening, who is dealing with that; it's so common. And I had a lot of rotten roots that I was believing at that time. I felt like I had to do everything, and I had to do it well. I was a young mom; had a one-year-old. We were taking him on a mission trip overseas; because \u201cI can do it; I've got this under control.\u201d I was working constantly. We, actually, we're about to have a foreign exchange student come live with us. I mean, we were doing it all.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Gretchen, you were doing everything.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: We were doing it all, and they were good things; right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: You know: \u201cIf it's a good thing, then that's a \u2018Yes\u2019\u201d; but that's a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cI'm serving Jesus, and I have to do it all.\u201d \u201cIf I don't\u2026\u201d\u2014what?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: \u2014\u201cthen it's not going to happen,\u201d\u2014\u201cThen things are going to fall apart.\u201d That's such a lie. We begin to think that we are the savior\u2014that: \u201cIf we're not doing the work\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we're not reaching out to people\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we're not writing, or speaking, or sharing, or encouraging, then how is God going to get it done?!\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: And that can easily slip into our thinking. Or leading Bible study at church: \u201cIf I'm not doing it, who's going to do it?\u201d \u201cIf I'm not volunteering, who's going to volunteer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That's so interesting. I was a young mom, and I was leading and started our women's ministry at our church. I really felt God was saying, \u201cI want you to take this time away, and I want you to focus on your boys,\u201d I think\/I think CJ had just turned 13, and so our youngest was 8.<\/p>\n<p>I was telling this woman\u2014she was a mentor of mine; she came into town\u2014and I said, \u201cI just feel like, if I don't do this, it's going to fall apart.\u201d She looks at me and she said, \u201cWow, you must really be something.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d She goes, \u201cIf God can't replace you, you must really be something.\u201d [Laughter] I was so convicted. [Laughter] I mean, the next day, I was like, \u201cI'm done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was so sweet; because I remember my eight-year-old saying, \u201cMom, so are you not doing that?\u201d And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with working moms\u2014like we're all called, and we're doing things that God called us to\u2014but I remember him saying, \u201cThank you for doing that for me.\u201d I was like, \u201cOh my goodness.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think that's important, though, to realize God's got you; and God can fulfill these things, even if you're not there or doing it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I'll just add\u2014watching Ann in that moment\u2014she was building an incredible women\u2019s ministry. I was watching her; it was like: \u201cYou are an incredible leader of women. You got thousands of women mobilized in our church for this ministry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then I can see what it's doing to our family; I can see what it's doing to you; I can see what the boys used to say, \u201cAll Mom does is walk around the kitchen with a phone in her hand.\u201d [Laughter] They said that; and back then, it was a corded phone, so we, literally, got an extended cord that would go like 20 feet in our kitchen. I'm like, \u201cThat's a bad sign.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: The next day, she quit. I mean,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you know what? Nobody replaced me for a while,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014because we are all young moms; we're all busy; people are working; and so\u2014but I mean it still, later, thrived; and God\u2019s in control of that stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: God didn\u2019t need us.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: God kept it going.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: It's amazing when we shift our mentality\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s amazing what God can do without us. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Exactly! And we realize he invites us in. He's not going:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: \u201cIf you stop doing this, it's going to fall apart. How will those people come to know Me? How will they?\u201d But it's so easy, in ministry, to start thinking\u2014and just life in general\u2014that: \u201cIf I don't do this, this is not going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How did you get out of the panic attack? I mean, is that something that a decision to change the way you thought and got\/find life changed that?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Years\u2014years of decisions\u2014years. This is not something that just\u2014and sometimes, God does this miraculous work in somebody's life and that just, all of a sudden, they just\/it clicks\u2014and they walk in freedom from addiction, from panic, from anxiety. But that's not what it was for me. It was this slow uprooting, and it felt like things were just unraveling. All of my its that I thought I had:<br \/>\n\u2022 \u201cOh, I'm in ministry; that's my it,\u201d like, \u201cGod is providing.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2022 \u201cI've got this great marriage; that's my it.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2022 \u201cI have a little boy that I love; that's my it.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2022 And you know, \u201cI'm healthy; that's my it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But then, all these things started to just unravel. My health started to unravel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I want to read some of these rotten roots, because I think every listener will be able to relate to some or one of these. One of them is:<br \/>\n\u2022 What others think of you is more important than what God thinks of you.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, man. Another is:<br \/>\n\u2022 You have to mask your hurt with a happy face.<br \/>\n\u2022 True beauty is determined by your weight, skin color, and size.<\/p>\n<p>Another one is:<br \/>\n\u2022 In order to be successful, you must be constantly productive and never take a break.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I mean, I think all of us can relate to one of those, at one point or another, in our lives for sure.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: Yes; and when I was writing those, and pinpointing them, it was because those are all the ones that I believed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: That's what I've struggled with. I struggled with that when I was in the throes of panic attacks\/when I walked through an eating disorder. All of those rotten roots, they eventually manifest in our actions and in the things that we are doing. Our thoughts and the things that we are believing will actually change how we act\/the decisions that we make.<\/p>\n<p>We want our thoughts to be rooted in God's Word. We want that to be what comes out in our lives, and so it's God's grace to expose these rotten roots.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We're going to continue this conversation. But if you had to do one application for our listeners, what would you say?<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: I would encourage them to not be afraid to expose the rotten roots. I had somebody\/I remember, even when I was walking through it\u2014being so ashamed of my rotten roots that I had believed\u2014because: \u201cI'm a Christian;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, and so we hide them.<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: \u2014\u201cI shouldn't believe these,\u201d \u201cI shouldn't be struggling with this.\u201d I was so ashamed; it kept me from fellowship and from true freedom in Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>I would encourage people not to be ashamed\u2014God already knows\u2014He already loves you in Christ Jesus, and He has set you free; but you can't be free while you're in hiding. In that exposure, we find freedom in Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I'm thinking of Isaiah 53:5, which you mentioned, \u201cBy His wounds we are healed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Gretchen: His wounding was for our healing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: That's Dave and Ann Wilson talking with Gretchen Saffles on FamilyLife Today. You can get a copy of Gretchen's book, Well-Watered Woman, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or by calling 1-800-358-6329; that's 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you know of anyone who needs to hear today's important conversation, you can share it from wherever you get your podcasts. And while you're there, it\u2019d really help if you rate and review us.<\/p>\n<p>So how do we actually spend time reading the Bible and have our spiritual batteries refilled when life is busy, and you have young kids at home? Seems impossible\u2014right?\u2014sometimes or all the time; doesn't it? Well, tomorrow, Dave and Ann are going to be talking, again, with Gretchen Saffles to help you get on the solution side of getting time in the Word when life is busy, and with little ones in the home. That's coming up tomorrow; we hope you can join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<br \/>\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2022 FamilyLife. 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