{"id":307486,"date":"2022-04-22T08:02:10","date_gmt":"2022-04-22T12:02:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap\/"},"modified":"2022-04-22T08:02:10","modified_gmt":"2022-04-22T12:02:10","slug":"robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap\/","title":{"rendered":"Robert Wolgemuth: Last Lap, Best Lap"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As your marriage ages, is love getting sloppy? Author Robert Wolgemuth challenges you make your last lap of marriage the best ever.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the Familylife&#8217;s on the FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As your marriage ages, is love getting sloppy? Author Robert Wolgemuth challenges you make your last lap of marriage the best ever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-04-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.59M","filesize_raw":"28934333","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847,10379],"tags":[7079],"podcast_series":[8518],"cwp_profile":[3178],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307486","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-dying","category-grandparents","tag-last-lap","podcast_series-gun-lap","cwp_profile-robert-wolgemuth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307486\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307486\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"cjsimduz8g\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap\/\">Robert Wolgemuth: Last Lap, Best Lap<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/robert-wolgemuth-last-lap-best-lap\/embed\/#?secret=cjsimduz8g\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Robert Wolgemuth: Last Lap, Best Lap&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"cjsimduz8g\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-04-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-04-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> The older you get\u2014this is going to sound crazy\u2014but the more important your tenderness toward your wife is. It\u2019s easy because you know each other <em>so well<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We got the chance to go to church on Sunday, here in Orlando\u2014with our son, Austin, Kendall, and our four grandkids\u2014all sitting in front of us. Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was sort of fun to look at them in front of us and remember when we sat in church. Actually, I was always up on the stage; and you were sitting there with the boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I was going to say, \u201cI was sitting by myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; well, here is the question: \u201cWhat do you remember about that service?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember watching our grandkids, thinking, \u201cThey are amazing!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; then, they went to kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, after worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014so Austin and Kendall came back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is what I remember\u2014I remember seeing a couple that I\u2019m guessing have been married for decades\u2014maybe, three, or four, or five decades; who knows?\u2014still in love; at least, it <em>appeared<\/em> they\u2019re still in love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because they are holding hands. What did you think about that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cA couple on their wedding day is a beautiful thing; a couple married 40\/50 years, still in love, is more beautiful.\u201d We don\u2019t look as good as we did on our wedding day, but it\u2019s more beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because you know that they\u2019ve had to endure a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and the reason I bring this up is because we have Robert Wolgemuth back with us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. He wrote a book that sort of talks about finishing well; that sort of was an image of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobert, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Ann. I <em>love<\/em> the story; I love the story. I\u2019ve been married to Nancy now for six years, and we hold hands all the time. The truth is\u2014I look back on my life: my first marriage, after six years\u2014I don\u2019t think I held hands like I do now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, we\u2019re going to have to get into that. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, come on. Let\u2019s do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to hear more about that; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Even, Robert, when you sent me the book, I love the image of the track on there: <em>Gun Lap: Staying in the Race with Purpose<\/em>. Here is the funny thing, Robert: I\u2019ve asked several people what they know about a gun lap, and they didn\u2019t even know what a gun lap was. I mean, not everybody knows that, on the final lap of a race in a track meet, the gun is shot\u2014a blank, of course\u2014it signifies you are on the final lap. Obviously, you use that image and the track image on the front of the book to say: \u201cHow you finish really matters,\u201d and the things that matter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou list several different things in the book; I just highlighted <em>one<\/em> of them. Talk about that a little bit. You really still do hold hands? It\u2019s actually something you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I want to know: \u201cWhy are you doing it more <em>now<\/em> than before?\u201d [Laughter] That is really interesting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Robert, all she really wants to know is: \u201cCan you get my husband to do it more?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s where I thought she was going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, here is the deal. I have the experience of having been married almost \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t45 years and then saying, \u201cGoodbye,\u201d to Bobbie and then falling in love all over again; and really realizing that I\u2019m not going to have 44 years this time; it\u2019s going to be compressed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, when Nancy and I were first dating, I said, \u201cSo, okay; let\u2019s say we get married,\u201d\u2014she was 57 and had never married; let that sink in; because she felt called, as a single woman, to be a single woman in ministry her whole life\u2014I said, \u201cAlright; what will our first argument be?\u201d\u2014I may have said \u201cfight.\u201d She looked at me and she said, \u201cDo we have to fight?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know; I guess every couple does.\u201d She said, \u201cYou know what? Maybe, we don\u2019t have to fight.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here is the deal: when I got married the first time, I was 22; Bobbie was 20. We were kids\u2014let me say that again\u2014we were kids, so we kind of grew up together. Did we fight?\u2014yes. Did we argue?\u2014yes. Were our voices raised at plaster-cracking decibels?\u2014yes, yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, I\u2019m 67; Nancy is 57, and we\u2019re grownups. We\u2019ve done a lot of life: we\u2019ve had failures; we\u2019ve done life separately, of course. So I\u2019m going to tell you that, after six years of being married to Nancy, we\u2019ve not agreed on everything. She\u2019s a very strong woman, and let me say\u2014she would say\u2014that I\u2019m a very strong man; so we don\u2019t agree, but we haven\u2019t fought. Why raise my voice? Why do that? I don\u2019t have to\u2014I\u2019m not a child\u2014I\u2019m a grownup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: the older you get\u2014this is going to sound crazy\u2014but the more important your tenderness toward your wife is. It\u2019s easy, because you know each other <em>so well<\/em>. You may even have a backlog\u2014skeletons in the closet; it\u2019s hard to get rid of those bad guys\u2014but this is a wonderful time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story you just told\u2014I love this\u2014I can\u2019t wait to tell Nancy that your kids, your son and daughter-in-law, sat and watched an older couple hold hands during church. Now, this isn\u2019t bragging; it\u2019s true. If they had been sitting close to <em>us<\/em> in church, that is exactly what they would have seen. I never pass up an opportunity\u2014why would I?\u2014to hold Nancy\u2019s hand. This is a very sweet time, I mean, in terms of the affection that you are pouring on your wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a responder; she was built to be a responder. So you\/as the man in the relationship, you go first. I mean, I tell young men a lot in marriage relationships: \u201cYou, be the initiator. You go first. If it\u2019s making love, or if it\u2019s picking stuff up off the floor, take the initiative. Be the initiator. Your wife will be so thrilled when she sees that in you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Scripture calls that leadership in your home; right? That isn\u2019t just like <em>Sound of Music <\/em>with a little whistle and having your kids line up. It\u2019s serving; it\u2019s going first; it\u2019s the towel and the basin. That\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> thing to understand in your relationship with your wife during these later years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the stories you tell in the chapter you wrote about marriage is\u2014if I remember rightly\u2014it was a friend, who was at a marriage retreat with his wife. The speaker said, \u201cHey, turn to your spouse and say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d He says that to his wife; and his wife turns to him and says, \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> love you.\u201d As I read that, I thought, \u201cOh, boy; this is going to end badly.\u201d Yet, talk about that; because he responded in a way that basically said, \u201cIt\u2019s not over. [I] can do better, starting right here\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> He was acting like a grownup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It\u2019s back to the illustration I just gave. This is one of my closest friends\u2014we text every day\u2014this man we\u2019re talking about right now. This was exactly as you have described it. It was a marriage retreat; the leader said, \u201cTurn to your mate, take her by the hand, and say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d So Dave did this, and his wife looked back at him; and I mean, it was eye to eye, no messing around, \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a man to hear that\u2014a man being competitive\/a man wanting to win\u2014you say, \u201cI\u2019m out of here. I\u2019ll go find somebody else who will love me.\u201d I said to him, when he told me this story, I said, \u201cAlright; so you went to that retreat. Was that a surprise?\u201d He said, \u201cI guess it was.\u201d I said, \u201cAlright; like on a scale, of 1-10, where would you say your marriage was?\u201d He said, \u201c7 or 8.\u201d Well, his wife would have said, \u201c1 or 2.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, Gary Smalley\u2014you remember Gary Smalley?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014Gary Smalley\u2014he actually counseled thousands; that sounds incredible\u2014but thousands. You guys are probably way up there like that. One of the things he says to each person: to the man, he says, \u201cOn a scale of 1-10\u2026\u201d to the woman he says, \u201cOn a scale of 1-10\u2026\u201d As I remember him telling me this story, he said, in every single case, the man gives it a higher number than the woman does. In this case, Dave\u2019s wife looked at him and said, \u201cI don\u2019t love you.\u201d Dave tells me this story and says, \u201cI resolved to fix that problem. Instead of running from it, I decided, \u2018I\u2019m going to fix it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing that he did\u2014he didn\u2019t go to a seminar\u2014what he did was he found an older married man; and he said to this man, \u201cHere is what just happened to me, and I need some help with my marriage.\u201d This is both a mentoring chapter and the marriage chapter: this is pouring into a younger man or a more inexperienced man. He found a man, who I also know, who was younger than he was; and that man poured his life into\u2014this [young] man\u2014Dave, in this case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you what: I see Dave and his wife a lot, and their tenderness toward each other is <em>astonishing<\/em>. Dave got to the place, where he realized, \u201cEither I do this or I lose her\u2014either really I lose her, she walks out the door; or our relationship just becomes so stale; it\u2019s just humdrum; there is no joy in it.\u201d He did the right thing. He sucked it up, and he said, \u201cYou know what? I can do better than this,\u201d\u2014found an older man [with positive experience], a married man, who helped him fix his marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> story, but it\u2019s a gun lap story of an older man, who has experience\/more experience\u2014failure\/victory from those failures\u2014whatever\u2014poured his life into a [young], married man, and said, \u201cThis is how you do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I thought, as I read it, that\u2019s exactly how it hit me: it was <em>inspiring<\/em>: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, Ann and I have shared in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book the very same story in terms: I thought we were a 10; she said we were a .5, not even a 1. [Laughter] It could have ended there; but it was like, \u201cOh my goodness; I\u2019ve got to change this.\u201d I realized it had to go vertical first\u2014my relationship with Christ had to be the foundation\u2014I can preach it, but I had to live it. Then I had to work on our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about doing that in your 20s or 30s, but you don\u2019t think about doing that in your 50s and 60s; you just coast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You wrote another story in there that also challenged me about just how Bobbie was such\u2014your first wife\u2014was such a woman of the Word. You realized that you were just spiritually lazy in the marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I was; exactly, right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, your vulnerability there challenged me as I read it. I\u2019m like, \u201cI can do the same thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can blame it on, \u201cWell, you know, we\u2019ve married 40 years; we\u2019re good,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cWe\u2019ve been married 40 years; let\u2019s make the next 10, 15, 20 the <em>best<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s <em>do<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Preach it. Preach it, brother; go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story I tell: Bobbie loved the Word. She didn\u2019t love the Word so she could write a book. She loved the Word because she loved the Word. The Lord spoke to her early, early every morning. I\u2019d walk by her chair\u2014actually, that chair now is in my daughter\u2019s home, and she uses it for the same purpose\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014but I walked by that chair early, early in the morning. I\u2019d go upstairs, study for a Sunday school class, write a couple chapters for a book. Then, when Bobby stepped into heaven, I sat on that chair the morning after we buried her body. I heard the Lord say to me, \u201cRobert, you are a lazy man. You have been letting your wife spend an hour every day, or more, in the Word\/in My presence. Now it is time; get that baton and pick it up, and start running that track.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis isn\u2019t boasting\u2014in fact, in many ways, it\u2019s confessing\u2014but maybe, in my seven years since that day, I have probably missed ten mornings\u2014maybe even less than that. This is a gift I\u2019m giving myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, early in our relationship, after that experience on Bobbie\u2019s chair, I thought, \u201cYou know what? As I\u2019m reading the Word, I\u2019m going to just look for stuff to jump out at me; and I\u2019m going to text it to Nancy.\u201d So every morning, including this morning, Nancy, when she wakes up\u2014because she stays up late; I get up early\u2014she probably has three or four Bible verses on her phone that the first thing she sees when she wakes up. That has been such a gift to me, knowing that my wife gets to look over my shoulder, see where I have underlined something in my Bible, and have sent it to her just to inspire her\/just to bring her joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat kind of thing reminds my wife that I\u2019m not in charge; that the Lord is in charge of my life. I\u2019m submitting to Him. I\u2019m taking precious hours, early in the morning\u2014dark o\u2019 thirty\u2014and I\u2019m asking Him: \u201cWhat is it You want to say to me?\u201d and \u201cWhat is it I can bless my wife with?\u201d I would not have done that, probably, if I hadn\u2019t seen it every single day [with Bobbie]. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, my daughter gets to sit in that chair. Sometimes, early in the morning, I\u2019ll text <em>her<\/em>; and she will be texting me Bible verses that inspired her that day, sitting in her mom\u2019s chair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s really sweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was intrigued, too, as I\u2019m thinking about men getting older. You talk in your book about talking to your dad as he was getting older. You asked him how he was doing. He said, \u201cJust fine.\u201d And then you laid your hand on <em>his<\/em> hand\u2014on the top of his hand\u2014and then you said you just waited; and then he said, \u201cI feel useless.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was struck by that. It made me wonder; because I\u2019ve talked to other men, who have a sense of <em>loss<\/em> and <em>feel<\/em> useless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You talk about that a little bit; and you even talk about, in the middle of the night, having those ponderings. I thought, \u201cThat is so interesting,\u201d because you think that only happens to younger people who are asking those questions, like, \u201cAm I worthwhile? Is there significance to my life still?\u201d Talk about that a little bit, Robert. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Robert Wolgemuth on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re going to hear Robert\u2019s response in just a moment; but first, did you know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported? That means we rely on generous gifts from listeners, just like you. This week, when you give any amount to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, as our thanks, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Sam Allberry\u2019s book, <em>What God Has to Say about Our Bodies<\/em>. You can give securely online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can give us a call with your donation at 1-800-358-6329. That can be a one-time gift; or you can give a recurring, monthly gift. Again, the number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright; now let\u2019s hop back into Dave and Ann\u2019s conversation with Robert Wolgemuth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Back to my daddy\u2014I\u2019ll never forget it\u2014and it happened just exactly as you described. I remember him looking at me and saying that word, \u201cuseless.\u201d I\u2019ll never ever\/ever forget it. I knew what he meant. In fact, the previous night we had had like a little family reunion\u2014well, there is no such thing as a little family reunion with my family\u2014it was noisy, and there were little kids running around. The older kids were comparing notes on technology. You know what? It really is easy to feel <em>lost<\/em> in that setting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my dad sitting quietly. I mean, there was <em>no way<\/em> he was going to engage about the latest movie, or the latest musicians, or the latest technology, the latest software. He just sat quietly. It was the <em>next<\/em> morning that I had this conversation with him. That\u2019s why he was feeling useless; he felt like <em>out of it<\/em>. I said, \u201cYou know, you can pray for your kids, and your grandkids, and your great grandkids,\u201d\u2014I said that\u2014\u201cYou can pray for them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe looked at me, and he said, \u201cI do.\u201d I can see him smile; he said, \u201cI do every day.\u201d I said, \u201cDad, that\u2019s the most important\u2014I don\u2019t care how old you are or how <em>useless<\/em> you feel\u2014that\u2019s the most important gift you could <em>possibly<\/em> give your children, or your grandchildren, or your great grandchildren.\u201d I can see him smile to realize, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m not useless. I can bring these kids, as tired and feeble as I might feel, to the throne of grace every single day.\u201d So that was that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, to the late-night conversations that you have\u2014in fact, that chapter is called \u201cSelf-Conversation\u201d\u2014I think that\u2019s an older man\u2019s nemesis. In fact, this was one of the inspirations to write this book. I\u2019m lying in bed; and Dave, you\u2019ll know that no man our age goes the whole way through the night without getting up, at least, once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know what you are talking about, Robert. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes, you do; you\u2019re lying to me right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I am. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So you go back, and you crawl back in bed. You\u2019re trying to go right back to sleep, and you can\u2019t; so these things begin to pop up in your brain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I found myself being very critical of myself, and looking back over the previous day with regret with something foolish that I had said to a friend; or maybe something I didn\u2019t follow up but I should have\u2014whatever, whatever. I\u2019m listening to myself, and it\u2019s not good stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI bumped into a <em>great<\/em> quote\u2014Martyn Lloyd-Jones, the great Welsh preacher of the previous century, wrote this very thing\u2014and he said, \u201cDon\u2019t listen to yourself; <em>talk<\/em> to yourself.\u201d Then I realized, in the Psalms, the Psalms are filled with David\u2014King David, the psalmist David\u2014imploring the Lord to speak to him, to not just listen to these voices, but speak back to yourself\/you say, \u201cYou know what? I can do better than that. I\u2019m not going to listen to that voice. I\u2019m going to hear myself say, \u2018The joy of the Lord is my strength.\u2019 And I\u2019m not going to be subject to the voices that I hear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the most <em>graphic<\/em> conversations I\u2019ve had since writing this book was with a colleague\/a former colleague. This man was brilliant, trained, smart. I mean, I had clients, who are very smart, writing really deep, heady books; and this guy kept up with them. I said, \u201cI haven\u2019t talked to you for a while. How are you?\u201d He took a deep breath [inhaling]\u2014just like I just did\u2014he said, \u201cI woke up this morning; and my first thought was, \u2018There is no reason for me to live.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t tell you guys how <em>shocked<\/em> I was to hear that, but that is exactly what I\u2019m talking about: when you get to the place, where you can\u2019t do\u2014and men are <em>doers<\/em>; right?\u2014you can\u2019t do what you used to do. Those demons come in and say what my dad said: \u201cYou\u2019re useless. You used to be productive. What have you done lately? You\u2019re useless.\u201d That\u2019s exactly what my friend was saying to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you: for days, I prayed for him. I sent him texts; I tried to encourage him. But that\u2019s not uncharacteristic of men our age: you finish doing your productive stuff\u2014you retire: you got the gold watch; you got the party\u2014and now, you\u2019re looking at life and saying, \u201cWhat\u2019s next? What am I going to do?\u201d In fact, the actuarial tables have men dying after they retire like crazy because they look at their lives and say, \u201cI used to get my self-esteem from what I did. Now, I can\u2019t do anything; why should I live?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, Robert, let me say for Ann and I, as we wrap up, \u201cWay to finish well!\u201d I mean, you\u2019re not done; but as you wrote in <em>Gun Lap<\/em>, you\u2019re on that final lap\u2014it could be a long one; it could be a shorter one\u2014we don\u2019t know. But there are so many\u2014you know this as well as anybody\u2014who started well, who may have run well in the middle of the race\u2014and I\u2019m thinking of Christian leaders, of authors, of influencers\u2014as you and I know, who did not finish well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are finishing well, and it\u2019s a <em>model<\/em> for all of us. We <em>need<\/em> role models who don\u2019t quit, that don\u2019t even get mediocre. I mean, if you are going to finish a two-mile race, that last lap <em>matters<\/em>. You\u2019ve got to prepare and be trained so that you can run as strong in that last lap as you did in the first, and you\u2019re modeling that for all of us. So from one man to another, thank you. Way to go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, thank you! Thank you, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thanks, Robert. We really appreciate you in all ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you, Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Robert Wolgemuth on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can get a copy of Robert\u2019s book, <em>Gun Lap: Staying in the Race with Purpose<\/em>, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you know of anyone who could benefit from today\u2019s conversation with Dave and Ann Wilson, as they spoke with Robert Wolgemuth, tell them about this station; or you can share today\u2019s episode from wherever you get your podcasts. While you\u2019re there, it would really help us out if you would rate and review us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got my favorite president of FamilyLife with me today, David Robbins. I\u2019m wondering, as you hear about finishing well, does anyone come to mind for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There are two people that come to my mind that I go, \u201cI am so <em>grateful<\/em> to have these two men in my life, running their gun lap well.\u201d One is my dad; it\u2019s so great to see how he\u2019s purposefully living and passing on wisdom he has to people in his community; and the other is Dennis Rainey, the founder of FamilyLife, who passed the baton to me as president. I\u2019m so <em>grateful<\/em> for his continued mentoring in my life and the way he has cheered me on as he continues to have his own impact with writing and speaking. He has this unique balance of continuing to run the race God has set before him, while he is also looking at his legacy and passing it on so well and saying, \u201cDavid, this is yours. Take the mantel and <em>run<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why, at FamilyLife, I\u2019m emboldened to continue to trust God for the mission of FamilyLife: that mission of effectively developing godly families who change the world one home at a time. When I think about the mission that God gave to Dennis to steward that, now, is given to me to steward, I think about people like you\u2014people who hear the truth and will keep growing closer to God\u2014but will also think about: \u201cHow will I pass it on to the people around me and my own community?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes, that is so important: passing on what we have <em>received<\/em> from others. If one of the things God has used in your life is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love for you to consider passing it on. You do that when you share this podcast; you tell others about this station; and when you give at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, you can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow would you respond if a surgeon, instead of removing your child\u2019s <em>defective<\/em> kidney, removed his only <em>healthy<\/em> kidney? Erik Reed will join Dave and Ann Wilson next week to talk about trusting God when life doesn\u2019t make sense. That\u2019s coming up next time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.59M"],"filesize_raw":["28934333"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307486.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307486.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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your marriage ages, is love getting sloppy? Author Robert Wolgemuth challenges you make your last lap of marriage the best ever.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-04-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> The older you get\u2014this is going to sound crazy\u2014but the more important your tenderness toward your wife is. It\u2019s easy because you know each other <em>so well<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We got the chance to go to church on Sunday, here in Orlando\u2014with our son, Austin, Kendall, and our four grandkids\u2014all sitting in front of us. Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was sort of fun to look at them in front of us and remember when we sat in church. Actually, I was always up on the stage; and you were sitting there with the boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I was going to say, \u201cI was sitting by myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; well, here is the question: \u201cWhat do you remember about that service?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember watching our grandkids, thinking, \u201cThey are amazing!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; then, they went to kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, after worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014so Austin and Kendall came back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is what I remember\u2014I remember seeing a couple that I\u2019m guessing have been married for decades\u2014maybe, three, or four, or five decades; who knows?\u2014still in love; at least, it <em>appeared<\/em> they\u2019re still in love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because they are holding hands. What did you think about that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cA couple on their wedding day is a beautiful thing; a couple married 40\/50 years, still in love, is more beautiful.\u201d We don\u2019t look as good as we did on our wedding day, but it\u2019s more beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because you know that they\u2019ve had to endure a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and the reason I bring this up is because we have Robert Wolgemuth back with us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. He wrote a book that sort of talks about finishing well; that sort of was an image of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobert, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Ann. I <em>love<\/em> the story; I love the story. I\u2019ve been married to Nancy now for six years, and we hold hands all the time. The truth is\u2014I look back on my life: my first marriage, after six years\u2014I don\u2019t think I held hands like I do now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, we\u2019re going to have to get into that. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, come on. Let\u2019s do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to hear more about that; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Even, Robert, when you sent me the book, I love the image of the track on there: <em>Gun Lap: Staying in the Race with Purpose<\/em>. Here is the funny thing, Robert: I\u2019ve asked several people what they know about a gun lap, and they didn\u2019t even know what a gun lap was. I mean, not everybody knows that, on the final lap of a race in a track meet, the gun is shot\u2014a blank, of course\u2014it signifies you are on the final lap. Obviously, you use that image and the track image on the front of the book to say: \u201cHow you finish really matters,\u201d and the things that matter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou list several different things in the book; I just highlighted <em>one<\/em> of them. Talk about that a little bit. You really still do hold hands? It\u2019s actually something you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I want to know: \u201cWhy are you doing it more <em>now<\/em> than before?\u201d [Laughter] That is really interesting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Robert, all she really wants to know is: \u201cCan you get my husband to do it more?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s where I thought she was going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, here is the deal. I have the experience of having been married almost \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t45 years and then saying, \u201cGoodbye,\u201d to Bobbie and then falling in love all over again; and really realizing that I\u2019m not going to have 44 years this time; it\u2019s going to be compressed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, when Nancy and I were first dating, I said, \u201cSo, okay; let\u2019s say we get married,\u201d\u2014she was 57 and had never married; let that sink in; because she felt called, as a single woman, to be a single woman in ministry her whole life\u2014I said, \u201cAlright; what will our first argument be?\u201d\u2014I may have said \u201cfight.\u201d She looked at me and she said, \u201cDo we have to fight?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know; I guess every couple does.\u201d She said, \u201cYou know what? Maybe, we don\u2019t have to fight.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here is the deal: when I got married the first time, I was 22; Bobbie was 20. We were kids\u2014let me say that again\u2014we were kids, so we kind of grew up together. Did we fight?\u2014yes. Did we argue?\u2014yes. Were our voices raised at plaster-cracking decibels?\u2014yes, yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, I\u2019m 67; Nancy is 57, and we\u2019re grownups. We\u2019ve done a lot of life: we\u2019ve had failures; we\u2019ve done life separately, of course. So I\u2019m going to tell you that, after six years of being married to Nancy, we\u2019ve not agreed on everything. She\u2019s a very strong woman, and let me say\u2014she would say\u2014that I\u2019m a very strong man; so we don\u2019t agree, but we haven\u2019t fought. Why raise my voice? Why do that? I don\u2019t have to\u2014I\u2019m not a child\u2014I\u2019m a grownup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: the older you get\u2014this is going to sound crazy\u2014but the more important your tenderness toward your wife is. It\u2019s easy, because you know each other <em>so well<\/em>. You may even have a backlog\u2014skeletons in the closet; it\u2019s hard to get rid of those bad guys\u2014but this is a wonderful time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story you just told\u2014I love this\u2014I can\u2019t wait to tell Nancy that your kids, your son and daughter-in-law, sat and watched an older couple hold hands during church. Now, this isn\u2019t bragging; it\u2019s true. If they had been sitting close to <em>us<\/em> in church, that is exactly what they would have seen. I never pass up an opportunity\u2014why would I?\u2014to hold Nancy\u2019s hand. This is a very sweet time, I mean, in terms of the affection that you are pouring on your wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a responder; she was built to be a responder. So you\/as the man in the relationship, you go first. I mean, I tell young men a lot in marriage relationships: \u201cYou, be the initiator. You go first. If it\u2019s making love, or if it\u2019s picking stuff up off the floor, take the initiative. Be the initiator. Your wife will be so thrilled when she sees that in you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Scripture calls that leadership in your home; right? That isn\u2019t just like <em>Sound of Music <\/em>with a little whistle and having your kids line up. It\u2019s serving; it\u2019s going first; it\u2019s the towel and the basin. That\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> thing to understand in your relationship with your wife during these later years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the stories you tell in the chapter you wrote about marriage is\u2014if I remember rightly\u2014it was a friend, who was at a marriage retreat with his wife. The speaker said, \u201cHey, turn to your spouse and say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d He says that to his wife; and his wife turns to him and says, \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> love you.\u201d As I read that, I thought, \u201cOh, boy; this is going to end badly.\u201d Yet, talk about that; because he responded in a way that basically said, \u201cIt\u2019s not over. [I] can do better, starting right here\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> He was acting like a grownup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It\u2019s back to the illustration I just gave. This is one of my closest friends\u2014we text every day\u2014this man we\u2019re talking about right now. This was exactly as you have described it. It was a marriage retreat; the leader said, \u201cTurn to your mate, take her by the hand, and say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d So Dave did this, and his wife looked back at him; and I mean, it was eye to eye, no messing around, \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a man to hear that\u2014a man being competitive\/a man wanting to win\u2014you say, \u201cI\u2019m out of here. I\u2019ll go find somebody else who will love me.\u201d I said to him, when he told me this story, I said, \u201cAlright; so you went to that retreat. Was that a surprise?\u201d He said, \u201cI guess it was.\u201d I said, \u201cAlright; like on a scale, of 1-10, where would you say your marriage was?\u201d He said, \u201c7 or 8.\u201d Well, his wife would have said, \u201c1 or 2.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, Gary Smalley\u2014you remember Gary Smalley?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014Gary Smalley\u2014he actually counseled thousands; that sounds incredible\u2014but thousands. You guys are probably way up there like that. One of the things he says to each person: to the man, he says, \u201cOn a scale of 1-10\u2026\u201d to the woman he says, \u201cOn a scale of 1-10\u2026\u201d As I remember him telling me this story, he said, in every single case, the man gives it a higher number than the woman does. In this case, Dave\u2019s wife looked at him and said, \u201cI don\u2019t love you.\u201d Dave tells me this story and says, \u201cI resolved to fix that problem. Instead of running from it, I decided, \u2018I\u2019m going to fix it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing that he did\u2014he didn\u2019t go to a seminar\u2014what he did was he found an older married man; and he said to this man, \u201cHere is what just happened to me, and I need some help with my marriage.\u201d This is both a mentoring chapter and the marriage chapter: this is pouring into a younger man or a more inexperienced man. He found a man, who I also know, who was younger than he was; and that man poured his life into\u2014this [young] man\u2014Dave, in this case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you what: I see Dave and his wife a lot, and their tenderness toward each other is <em>astonishing<\/em>. Dave got to the place, where he realized, \u201cEither I do this or I lose her\u2014either really I lose her, she walks out the door; or our relationship just becomes so stale; it\u2019s just humdrum; there is no joy in it.\u201d He did the right thing. He sucked it up, and he said, \u201cYou know what? I can do better than this,\u201d\u2014found an older man [with positive experience], a married man, who helped him fix his marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> story, but it\u2019s a gun lap story of an older man, who has experience\/more experience\u2014failure\/victory from those failures\u2014whatever\u2014poured his life into a [young], married man, and said, \u201cThis is how you do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I thought, as I read it, that\u2019s exactly how it hit me: it was <em>inspiring<\/em>: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, Ann and I have shared in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book the very same story in terms: I thought we were a 10; she said we were a .5, not even a 1. [Laughter] It could have ended there; but it was like, \u201cOh my goodness; I\u2019ve got to change this.\u201d I realized it had to go vertical first\u2014my relationship with Christ had to be the foundation\u2014I can preach it, but I had to live it. Then I had to work on our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about doing that in your 20s or 30s, but you don\u2019t think about doing that in your 50s and 60s; you just coast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You wrote another story in there that also challenged me about just how Bobbie was such\u2014your first wife\u2014was such a woman of the Word. You realized that you were just spiritually lazy in the marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I was; exactly, right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, your vulnerability there challenged me as I read it. I\u2019m like, \u201cI can do the same thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can blame it on, \u201cWell, you know, we\u2019ve married 40 years; we\u2019re good,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cWe\u2019ve been married 40 years; let\u2019s make the next 10, 15, 20 the <em>best<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s <em>do<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Preach it. Preach it, brother; go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story I tell: Bobbie loved the Word. She didn\u2019t love the Word so she could write a book. She loved the Word because she loved the Word. The Lord spoke to her early, early every morning. I\u2019d walk by her chair\u2014actually, that chair now is in my daughter\u2019s home, and she uses it for the same purpose\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014but I walked by that chair early, early in the morning. I\u2019d go upstairs, study for a Sunday school class, write a couple chapters for a book. Then, when Bobby stepped into heaven, I sat on that chair the morning after we buried her body. I heard the Lord say to me, \u201cRobert, you are a lazy man. You have been letting your wife spend an hour every day, or more, in the Word\/in My presence. Now it is time; get that baton and pick it up, and start running that track.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis isn\u2019t boasting\u2014in fact, in many ways, it\u2019s confessing\u2014but maybe, in my seven years since that day, I have probably missed ten mornings\u2014maybe even less than that. This is a gift I\u2019m giving myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, early in our relationship, after that experience on Bobbie\u2019s chair, I thought, \u201cYou know what? As I\u2019m reading the Word, I\u2019m going to just look for stuff to jump out at me; and I\u2019m going to text it to Nancy.\u201d So every morning, including this morning, Nancy, when she wakes up\u2014because she stays up late; I get up early\u2014she probably has three or four Bible verses on her phone that the first thing she sees when she wakes up. That has been such a gift to me, knowing that my wife gets to look over my shoulder, see where I have underlined something in my Bible, and have sent it to her just to inspire her\/just to bring her joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat kind of thing reminds my wife that I\u2019m not in charge; that the Lord is in charge of my life. I\u2019m submitting to Him. I\u2019m taking precious hours, early in the morning\u2014dark o\u2019 thirty\u2014and I\u2019m asking Him: \u201cWhat is it You want to say to me?\u201d and \u201cWhat is it I can bless my wife with?\u201d I would not have done that, probably, if I hadn\u2019t seen it every single day [with Bobbie]. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, my daughter gets to sit in that chair. Sometimes, early in the morning, I\u2019ll text <em>her<\/em>; and she will be texting me Bible verses that inspired her that day, sitting in her mom\u2019s chair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s really sweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was intrigued, too, as I\u2019m thinking about men getting older. You talk in your book about talking to your dad as he was getting older. You asked him how he was doing. He said, \u201cJust fine.\u201d And then you laid your hand on <em>his<\/em> hand\u2014on the top of his hand\u2014and then you said you just waited; and then he said, \u201cI feel useless.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was struck by that. It made me wonder; because I\u2019ve talked to other men, who have a sense of <em>loss<\/em> and <em>feel<\/em> useless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You talk about that a little bit; and you even talk about, in the middle of the night, having those ponderings. I thought, \u201cThat is so interesting,\u201d because you think that only happens to younger people who are asking those questions, like, \u201cAm I worthwhile? Is there significance to my life still?\u201d Talk about that a little bit, Robert. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Robert Wolgemuth on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re going to hear Robert\u2019s response in just a moment; but first, did you know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported? That means we rely on generous gifts from listeners, just like you. This week, when you give any amount to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, as our thanks, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Sam Allberry\u2019s book, <em>What God Has to Say about Our Bodies<\/em>. You can give securely online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can give us a call with your donation at 1-800-358-6329. That can be a one-time gift; or you can give a recurring, monthly gift. Again, the number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright; now let\u2019s hop back into Dave and Ann\u2019s conversation with Robert Wolgemuth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Back to my daddy\u2014I\u2019ll never forget it\u2014and it happened just exactly as you described. I remember him looking at me and saying that word, \u201cuseless.\u201d I\u2019ll never ever\/ever forget it. I knew what he meant. In fact, the previous night we had had like a little family reunion\u2014well, there is no such thing as a little family reunion with my family\u2014it was noisy, and there were little kids running around. The older kids were comparing notes on technology. You know what? It really is easy to feel <em>lost<\/em> in that setting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my dad sitting quietly. I mean, there was <em>no way<\/em> he was going to engage about the latest movie, or the latest musicians, or the latest technology, the latest software. He just sat quietly. It was the <em>next<\/em> morning that I had this conversation with him. That\u2019s why he was feeling useless; he felt like <em>out of it<\/em>. I said, \u201cYou know, you can pray for your kids, and your grandkids, and your great grandkids,\u201d\u2014I said that\u2014\u201cYou can pray for them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe looked at me, and he said, \u201cI do.\u201d I can see him smile; he said, \u201cI do every day.\u201d I said, \u201cDad, that\u2019s the most important\u2014I don\u2019t care how old you are or how <em>useless<\/em> you feel\u2014that\u2019s the most important gift you could <em>possibly<\/em> give your children, or your grandchildren, or your great grandchildren.\u201d I can see him smile to realize, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m not useless. I can bring these kids, as tired and feeble as I might feel, to the throne of grace every single day.\u201d So that was that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, to the late-night conversations that you have\u2014in fact, that chapter is called \u201cSelf-Conversation\u201d\u2014I think that\u2019s an older man\u2019s nemesis. In fact, this was one of the inspirations to write this book. I\u2019m lying in bed; and Dave, you\u2019ll know that no man our age goes the whole way through the night without getting up, at least, once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know what you are talking about, Robert. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes, you do; you\u2019re lying to me right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I am. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So you go back, and you crawl back in bed. You\u2019re trying to go right back to sleep, and you can\u2019t; so these things begin to pop up in your brain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I found myself being very critical of myself, and looking back over the previous day with regret with something foolish that I had said to a friend; or maybe something I didn\u2019t follow up but I should have\u2014whatever, whatever. I\u2019m listening to myself, and it\u2019s not good stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI bumped into a <em>great<\/em> quote\u2014Martyn Lloyd-Jones, the great Welsh preacher of the previous century, wrote this very thing\u2014and he said, \u201cDon\u2019t listen to yourself; <em>talk<\/em> to yourself.\u201d Then I realized, in the Psalms, the Psalms are filled with David\u2014King David, the psalmist David\u2014imploring the Lord to speak to him, to not just listen to these voices, but speak back to yourself\/you say, \u201cYou know what? I can do better than that. I\u2019m not going to listen to that voice. I\u2019m going to hear myself say, \u2018The joy of the Lord is my strength.\u2019 And I\u2019m not going to be subject to the voices that I hear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the most <em>graphic<\/em> conversations I\u2019ve had since writing this book was with a colleague\/a former colleague. This man was brilliant, trained, smart. I mean, I had clients, who are very smart, writing really deep, heady books; and this guy kept up with them. I said, \u201cI haven\u2019t talked to you for a while. How are you?\u201d He took a deep breath [inhaling]\u2014just like I just did\u2014he said, \u201cI woke up this morning; and my first thought was, \u2018There is no reason for me to live.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t tell you guys how <em>shocked<\/em> I was to hear that, but that is exactly what I\u2019m talking about: when you get to the place, where you can\u2019t do\u2014and men are <em>doers<\/em>; right?\u2014you can\u2019t do what you used to do. Those demons come in and say what my dad said: \u201cYou\u2019re useless. You used to be productive. What have you done lately? You\u2019re useless.\u201d That\u2019s exactly what my friend was saying to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you: for days, I prayed for him. I sent him texts; I tried to encourage him. But that\u2019s not uncharacteristic of men our age: you finish doing your productive stuff\u2014you retire: you got the gold watch; you got the party\u2014and now, you\u2019re looking at life and saying, \u201cWhat\u2019s next? What am I going to do?\u201d In fact, the actuarial tables have men dying after they retire like crazy because they look at their lives and say, \u201cI used to get my self-esteem from what I did. Now, I can\u2019t do anything; why should I live?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, Robert, let me say for Ann and I, as we wrap up, \u201cWay to finish well!\u201d I mean, you\u2019re not done; but as you wrote in <em>Gun Lap<\/em>, you\u2019re on that final lap\u2014it could be a long one; it could be a shorter one\u2014we don\u2019t know. But there are so many\u2014you know this as well as anybody\u2014who started well, who may have run well in the middle of the race\u2014and I\u2019m thinking of Christian leaders, of authors, of influencers\u2014as you and I know, who did not finish well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are finishing well, and it\u2019s a <em>model<\/em> for all of us. We <em>need<\/em> role models who don\u2019t quit, that don\u2019t even get mediocre. I mean, if you are going to finish a two-mile race, that last lap <em>matters<\/em>. You\u2019ve got to prepare and be trained so that you can run as strong in that last lap as you did in the first, and you\u2019re modeling that for all of us. So from one man to another, thank you. Way to go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, thank you! Thank you, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thanks, Robert. We really appreciate you in all ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you, Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Robert Wolgemuth on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can get a copy of Robert\u2019s book, <em>Gun Lap: Staying in the Race with Purpose<\/em>, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you know of anyone who could benefit from today\u2019s conversation with Dave and Ann Wilson, as they spoke with Robert Wolgemuth, tell them about this station; or you can share today\u2019s episode from wherever you get your podcasts. While you\u2019re there, it would really help us out if you would rate and review us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got my favorite president of FamilyLife with me today, David Robbins. I\u2019m wondering, as you hear about finishing well, does anyone come to mind for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There are two people that come to my mind that I go, \u201cI am so <em>grateful<\/em> to have these two men in my life, running their gun lap well.\u201d One is my dad; it\u2019s so great to see how he\u2019s purposefully living and passing on wisdom he has to people in his community; and the other is Dennis Rainey, the founder of FamilyLife, who passed the baton to me as president. I\u2019m so <em>grateful<\/em> for his continued mentoring in my life and the way he has cheered me on as he continues to have his own impact with writing and speaking. He has this unique balance of continuing to run the race God has set before him, while he is also looking at his legacy and passing it on so well and saying, \u201cDavid, this is yours. Take the mantel and <em>run<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why, at FamilyLife, I\u2019m emboldened to continue to trust God for the mission of FamilyLife: that mission of effectively developing godly families who change the world one home at a time. When I think about the mission that God gave to Dennis to steward that, now, is given to me to steward, I think about people like you\u2014people who hear the truth and will keep growing closer to God\u2014but will also think about: \u201cHow will I pass it on to the people around me and my own community?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes, that is so important: passing on what we have <em>received<\/em> from others. If one of the things God has used in your life is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love for you to consider passing it on. You do that when you share this podcast; you tell others about this station; and when you give at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, you can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow would you respond if a surgeon, instead of removing your child\u2019s <em>defective<\/em> kidney, removed his only <em>healthy<\/em> kidney? Erik Reed will join Dave and Ann Wilson next week to talk about trusting God when life doesn\u2019t make sense. That\u2019s coming up next time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307486","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307486"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307486"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307486"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307486"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307486"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307486"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307486"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}