{"id":307444,"date":"2022-03-23T08:02:07","date_gmt":"2022-03-23T12:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-power-of-blessing-others\/"},"modified":"2022-03-23T08:02:07","modified_gmt":"2022-03-23T12:02:07","slug":"the-power-of-blessing-others","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-others\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Blessing Others"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blessing others: It&#8217;s a kind of superpower! Author Alan Wright digs into fears that keep us quiet &#8211;the hows &amp; whys of living a life of blessing instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-23.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:27","filesize":"23.3M","filesize_raw":"24430443","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2821],"tags":[7058],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9764],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307444","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-reaching-out","tag-blessing-others","cwp_profile-alan-wright","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307444\/the-power-of-blessing-others","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307444\/the-power-of-blessing-others","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"62emIu4jsy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-others\/\">The Power of Blessing Others<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-others\/embed\/#?secret=62emIu4jsy\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Power of Blessing Others&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"62emIu4jsy\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Blessing others: It's a kind of superpower! Author Alan Wright digs into fears that keep us quiet --the hows &amp; whys of living a life of blessing instead.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Do you remember when Cody had a dream when he was little, like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m going to be in the NFL\u201d; and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand he\u2019s the littlest person on every team. We\u2019re thinking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, not little, <em>tiny<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014tiny. We\u2019re like, \u201cOkay, he wants to be in the NFL; this isn\u2019t going to happen. How do we break it to him?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ve got to tell him this is a ridiculous dream.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But then it happened. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He goes to the NFL\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He went to the NFL. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014as a five [ft.] seven [inch] little guy; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s one of the dilemmas you have as a parent: \u201cHow do you bless your children and be honest at the same time?\u201d I think every parent wrestles with that, and that\u2019s something we\u2019re going to talk about today\u2014the power of our words, as a mom and dad\u2014and how to bless our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the guy in the studio that\u2019s been helping us the last couple of days, talking about blessing. Alan Wright, thank you for being back on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Thank you, Dave and Ann. Thank you so much. That made me give me hope for professional athletics still? I doubt it. [Laughter] But it\u2019s so good to be with you. Thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Obviously, you\u2019re a dad, and a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014a pastor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014a pastor, and even a radio host. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014author. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re on 400 stations around the country. You\u2019ve written this book, <em>The Power to Bless;<\/em> and it\u2019s a lot about our words and speaking life, as we\u2019ve said, into our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo let\u2019s talk about that very thing. If you\u2019ve got a child, who has a dream like that; but it could be something that\u2019s just\/it\u2019s crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now they can dream big and anything can happen; but in a sense, you are like, <br>\u201cThey\u2019re not going to ever be a frog; they\u2019re going to be a tadpole.\u201d How do you speak blessing with truth to that? Help parents practically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Always grace and always truth. So Jesus was not 50\/50; He was 100 percent grace and 100 percent truth. So whatever our response is, let\u2019s measure it by that: \u201cIs my response both grace and truth?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, our son Bennett, he\u2019s a really good golfer. Of all the many things that I helped speak some vision into his life\u2014I saw it; I saw he had the skills for it; I saw this\u2014plus, yes, I love golf; and we played a lot of golf together so that helped also. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut he\u2019s not tall in stature, and he loved basketball\/loved basketball. He just wasn\u2019t that good at it, and he wasn\u2019t that tall. So it would have been silly for me to say, \u201cI could really see you being an NBA player\u201d; because I didn\u2019t see that; I didn\u2019t see that at <em>all<\/em>. I did see that he could really enjoy golf and be good at it, so I would affirm that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I would say to that parent\u2014when the child\u2019s saying, \u201cI want to be such and such,\u201d\u2014in the first place, honor the child\u2019s dreams: \u201cI love it when you dream big. God <em>loves<\/em> it when we have faith. That\u2019s a beautiful thing to aspire to\u201d; okay? You can affirm the dreaming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, so often, what happens is a parent hears a child say something like that and the parent rattles off too quickly, \u201cOh, you\u2019ll never be that; because you\u2019re just not good enough.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> What you\u2019ve done is you\u2019ve\u2014not just helped steer a direction\u2014you\u2019ve crushed, not just a dream, but you\u2019ve crushed the joy <em>of<\/em> dreaming. When our children are little, we let them dream\/we want them to dream. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it doesn\u2019t mean that we come alongside and actually say these ridiculous things like, \u201cYou can be whatever you want.\u201d That\u2019s not a blessing. In fact, I think, sometimes, people just receive it as pressure, like, \u201cYou could be whatever you want to be if you just set your mind to it.\u201d \u201cWell, I guess the fact that it didn\u2019t happen is because I didn\u2019t set my mind to it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt also is just like, \u201cNo, I think that it\u2019s like, \u2018Okay, I want to affirm your dreams,\u2019 but as they grow, we are speaking what we have as authentic discernment into their lives.\u201d When I didn\u2019t see something, and a child was maybe dreaming toward it, there are ways that, with grace, you begin steering them towards the truth. You don\u2019t dash hopes needlessly, and you don\u2019t come lashing in with harsh words that have no grace attached. Whenever we speak with authentic love, there can be a receptivity to the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, therefore, ask yourself, \u201cWhat does grace <em>and<\/em> truth say?\u201d\u2014not just truth or just grace. Don\u2019t dash dreams but affirm faith when you see it; and yet, steer it towards the authentic that you see in that child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alan, you don\u2019t know Bruce, our audio engineer very well. He\u2019s been sitting in here with us and listening and working. Show us what it looks like to offer Bruce a blessing. You really don\u2019t <em>know him<\/em> very well, except for meeting him. He has three daughters. What would that look like? Can we bless people we don\u2019t know very well? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Oh, 100 percent. Because in the first place, I did meet Bruce for like two minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> So I found out he\u2019s a dad; and I\u2019m sitting in the studio with him, so I can see that he\u2019s a committed to excellence in his work. I could even just see, when you [Bruce] mentioned your kids, I saw love dance around in your eyes. So I already do know some things about you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I also know that, before I even met you, I could say this of you: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re made in the image of God; and that therefore, you are bearing the image of Father God in the world. I know that before God spun the cosmos into its place, that He already had a destiny lined up for you. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tI know also, because I see that you\u2019re a man of faith, that in Christ, you were chosen before that foundation of the world to be holy and blameless. As such, you are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. [Ephesians 1:3-4] \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, I can just turn, not knowing you, and say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBruce, it\u2019s good to meet you; and I thank God for you. I see already in your life that there are qualities that are very Christ-like. You can see it just in meeting you, and I believe God is using that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can bless who you are as a dad; and I can say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMay God make you as Ephraim and Manasseh [Genesis 48:20]; may He make you favored and wise and just able to pour out the Father\u2019s heart of God to your kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBless you in your work. This is important work that you\u2019re doing with FamilyLife, and you\u2019re shaping other\u2019s lives. What\u2019s in your ear, as you listen to the sound of production being made, you\u2019re actually advancing kingdom; and God bless you in that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see you know more about people than you realize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I just want to cry; I <em>am<\/em> crying, actually, because there\u2019s so much power in that. It makes us rise up to want to become all those things; and it\u2019s everything you spoke is in the Word. It helps us to remember: \u201cThis is what God says about us, and we have the power to give that away to other people.\u201d In our world\/in our culture, it is giving them one of the <em>greatest<\/em> gifts they could receive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Amen.\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would just add, what you just said to Bruce, the average person <em>never<\/em> hears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, it isn\u2019t like they don\u2019t hear that in a week or a month; some of them <em>never<\/em> heard it. Even what you just spoke is like, \u201cWow, that\u2019s just truth to a guy you barely know; but it\u2019s all true about Bruce.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we think our children regularly get that: they don\u2019t get it as school; they don\u2019t get it from their peers, because they\u2019re in competition with one another. Then, when they come home\u2014and they don\u2019t get it from mom or dad\u2014they long to get it. They will go on a search, in probably ways we hope they don\u2019t look for it, to get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if they get it from mom or dad\u2014I mean, if we took a minute every day at the dinner table or whatever and did what you just did\u2014just grab some moment in the day to say, \u201cSon, I just saw something. Could I just\u2026wait\u2026\u201d And they\u2019re running away, like, \u201cDad!\u201d \u201cNo, no, no, no; I just want to say this today: \u2018Way to go; you just exhibited traits of what a man does. I just want to say that to you.\u2019\u201d They walk out the door; and you think, \u201cOh, that wasn\u2019t that big of a deal,\u201d\u2014<em>that<\/em> sticks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It sticks; it goes into you; it becomes part of you; it shapes you. Probably every one of our listeners could identify if you\u2019ve ever had <em>any<\/em> moment like that\u2014from a parent, a teacher, a friend, a spouse, someone who spoke something like that\u2014you remember it, and it shapes you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think part of the thing I want people to know is it\u2019s so easy. It\u2019s <em>really not hard<\/em>. Can I just give maybe one of the simplest examples of parenting, just where our listeners can say, \u201cIf you\u2019re a parent, this is how easy it is\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Bennett and I were, one day, driving to the golf course to play golf\u2014he\u2019s maybe ten at most\u2014he loves golf; I love golf\u2014he just piped up and said, \u201cDad, can you be addicted to gambling?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWhat? Where\u2026where\u2026\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWhere\u2019s that coming from?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I\u2019m sitting there, going, \u201cWhere\u2019s that coming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He wants to bet on this golf game, I guess.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhere\u2019s that coming from?\u201d [Laughter] He had read about a professional golfer\/he had heard something on TV about a professional golfer, who had a problem with gambling. I knew who he was talking about; I thought, \u201cHow am I going to explain this to him?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, I just settled on the simplest approach; I said, \u201cBennett, I know that that golfer gets to play the best golf courses in the world: he\u2019s rich; he\u2019s famous.\u201d I said, \u201cBut I know something about his family; I know something about his life.\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think that he really feels that good about himself. When you don\u2019t feel that good about yourself, it\u2019s a bad feeling; and you can look for many ways to just have a good feeling. He must get it from gambling; you can get it from other things.\u201d I said, \u201cI think that\u2019s at the heart of it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just quiet for a minute. All of a sudden, in just a classic moment, he just piped up and he said, \u201cWell, I <em>love<\/em> myself.\u201d [Laughter] I just\/I didn\u2019t know whether to laugh or cry; because they were words of gold to me, which was the <em>fruit<\/em> of being blessed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, whether it was that same day or not, we played golf. On the first hole, he hit a bad hole. I see him get mad, but he holds it together. I said something to him, \u201cNow, listen, you could still have a good round.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201c[grumbling sound].\u201d [Laughter] But he doesn\u2019t throw his club; he doesn\u2019t throw a tantrum. He holds it together, and he kind of takes a deep breath; and he has a good hole the next hole and the next.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the way home\u2014this is how simple and natural blessing is\/this is what I want for our families; okay?\u2014I mean, it\u2019s wonderful we would have, every week, a set apart meal, where at least, once a week, I would formally speak a blessing to everybody in the family. But what really we want is\u2014it\u2019s just part of life; right?\u2014so just in the unassuming moments: we\u2019re riding home; and I said, \u201cHey, Bennett,\u201d\u2014I said\u2014\u201cgood round today. That was fun.\u201d He said, \u201cThanks, Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cYou know, you had that bad first hole.\u201d He said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said, \u201cYou know, I saw you starting to get frustrated, and then you held it together, and you went on and you had a good round.\u201d I said, \u201cYou know, there\u2019s a phrase for that in the Bible; it\u2019s called self-control.\u201d I said, \u201cThat\u2019s the fruit of self-control.\u201d I said, \u201cYou\u2019re still a kid.\u201d I said, \u201cBut I just want you to know that I already see a lot of self-control in you, and I believe you\u2019re going to grow into a young man\u2026\u201d\u2014I get emotional; I don\u2019t know why\u2014\u201cI believe you\u2019re going to grow into a young man, who has a lot of self-control.\u201d I just added, \u201cBennett, in my experience, men in this world who have self-control go very far.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow long did that take?\u2014maybe 30 seconds or a minute. It just doesn\u2019t take long. The way I describe the steps is very simple. It is: \u201cWhen you see a virtue in someone else\u2014maybe more clearly than they do\u2014you see it; so you become a treasure hunter in others:\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good way to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cSee that; and then you affirm it with a positive vision with the words that you speak by calling it out and identifying it. And then, you attach to it positive possibilities for their future. You affirm the treasure; and you say, \u2018This is how I see it being part of your identity\u2026\u2019\u201d It\u2019s not just a compliment; it\u2019s not buttering somebody up; it\u2019s helping them to see who they are: \u201cWell, I\u2019m a person of self-control.\u201d Then you attach positive possibilities. We can do that with anybody at any time. It\u2019s not hard, but it\u2019s <em>laden<\/em> with spiritual power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBennett, indeed, became and is a man of about as much self-control as anybody I\u2019ve ever been around. When he excelled so much in law school and was awarded a prestigious clerkship in the federal level, the federal judge was speaking to him one day and said, \u201cHow have you done so well, Bennett?\u201d He\u2019s kind of modest; and he said, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d The judge looked at him; he said, \u201cI think you underestimate your ability to concentrate for a long period of time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, what that is\u2014is self-control; right? I mean, that\u2019s like I\u2019m sitting there, taking a test\u2014I was laughing the other day, like standardized test, where you\u2019ve got to read the passage and then answer questions about it\u2014I\u2019m reading the passage, and I\u2019m looking out the window; you know? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn life, whatever it is\u2014if you can have the fruit of self-control\u2014it\u2019s not just about not having angry outbursts; it\u2019s about the whole direction of your life. Is something like that so important to our life? Does that begin with a little seed of blessing like that? I think it <em>does<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting; I have this stark memory for me, being seven years old, of something very much like that. My family was moving into a new city\/new school; I was in the first grade. We don\u2019t usually have profound memories of first grade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you moved to that city\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s where we met. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014but before that, I had already gone through sexual abuse from the time that I was four years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I was super scared, super insecure. I had a first grade teacher, where I had originally gone to school, who didn\u2019t always see the best in me. I had three siblings before me that all had learning disabilities. So when I came into that same class, with the same teacher, she probably presumed a lot. I knew\u2014even though we didn\u2019t name it: \u201cThe Worst Reading Group,\u201d\u2014I was in the worst reading group. I was also in a class for speech therapy; I remember feeling really bad about myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI moved into this new city; and on the first day of the first grade, with this <em>new<\/em> teacher, I was so scared. I walked into the class, and she got down on her knee. She put both hands on my shoulders, and she looked at me in the eyes; and she said, \u201cYou are a beautiful little girl. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Oh, wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd I can tell that you\u2019re really <em>smart<\/em>.\u201d She said, \u201cI would predict that, by the end of the year, you\u2019re going to be the <em>smartest<\/em> girl in this class.\u201d I mean, I feel like that was <em>yesterday<\/em> that I heard those words. I remember feeling like, \u201cNo one has ever said anything like that to me in my life!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so interesting, she put me in the best reading group\/the most advanced reading group, and I couldn\u2019t even read. Everyone in that class was reading, even in the lowest reading groups; and she put me in the <em>best<\/em> reading group. Just like that, I rose up; and by the end of the year, I was neck and neck with this one little girl that I was the best reader in the class. It's <em>exactly<\/em> what you\u2019re saying, Alan: \u201cWhen somebody sees it in you, and they call it out of you, you rise up\/you think, \u2018I can do that.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be cool to end our time together with you just praying and speaking blessing over our listeners. I think that would be really powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I would love to do that. Maybe to start with a word to all the women who are listening and to say: \u201cWould you let me stand in, maybe for a dad, who never spoke these words; but to sort of receive it from someone, who\u2019s representing God, but also maybe representing what someone important to you\u2014your dad or someone else\u2014wasn\u2019t able to say?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just wells up within me, first to say, I\u2019m glad you were born; and I\u2019m glad you were born a girl. I\u2019m glad that God envisioned you and made you who you are. There\u2019s no part of your being that is accidental. It is God\u2019s plan, and He has put you together in a way that your soul is unique and your gifts are like no one else\u2019s. It\u2019s not just that your fingerprints match no one else\u2019s, it\u2019s that the whole spiritual DNA of your life is like no one else\u2019s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I want to bless you and say how much you matter and to say that I\u2019d like to bless you to be fully free, rejoicing in God, to know that, not only does your life matter, but that in the days to come, God is going to use you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d like to be able to say to all the women who are listening:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor the ways that you have been hurt\u2014for the smallest little wounds and the deepest trauma\u2014that God wants you to know He\u2019s always been there. He wasn\u2019t the God who was missing when you went through your difficult time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m blessing you to have a new narrator in your life\u2014that fear wouldn\u2019t be the narrator of your story\u2014but love would be\/the perfect love of God to cast out all fear. I\u2019m blessing you that you would be under the sound of the gospel, more and more full of faith and expectancy of what is to come. There\u2019s no telling what might happen tomorrow when God is directing your steps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, men, maybe the words that every son wants to hear from a father, but seldom hears, let me just speak it on behalf of someone who maybe just didn\u2019t know how to say it: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m proud of you. I know I don\u2019t know you\u2014we\u2019re separated maybe by digital broadcast or radio airwaves\u2014but I\u2019m proud of you through the heart and the eyes of God. In the best sense of the word, I want to say that God\u2019s pride in you and any fatherly pride in you is not because of your accomplishments but because of who you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI bless you to be released from performance anxiety; I bless you to enjoy son-ship with the Father; I bless you to know that your mistakes\/your sin does not define you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of Joseph who, when he resisted the temptation of Potiphar\u2019s wife, he didn\u2019t do so out of his will power; but he said, \u201cMy master\u2019s put me in charge of his whole household; how could I do such a thing?\u201d I\u2019m blessing you to know your identity. This is the way of accountability, and this is the way that you\u2019re going to find more and more victory over sin. You are no longer a slave to sin; you are in Christ, already seated with Him\u2014already, though you may not feel it, already reigning with Him\u2014and there is more power at work in you by the Holy Spirit than you realize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m blessing that in you, men; I\u2019m blessing it and thanking God for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo all\/to anyone under the sound of my voice, what a privilege it is to say, \u201cThe Lord bless you and keep you and be kind and gracious to you and make His face to shine upon you and give you His peace today and forever.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thanks, Alan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> My wife once told me that, if I were intentional about paying compliments and giving blessings to people who I knew and didn\u2019t know, it would go a distance that I wouldn\u2019t even be able to fathom. A lot of times we\u2019ve held back. Maybe we didn\u2019t give the compliment; or maybe we felt prompted to do a nice gesture, but we didn\u2019t take the opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Alan Wright today about the <em>power<\/em> to bless people, who we don\u2019t even know, when God calls us to be a blessing. \u201cWhy?\u201d\u2014because He first blessed us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlan Wright has written a book called <em>The Power to Bless: How to Speak Life and Empower the People You Love<\/em>. This has been a really important conversation, and he\u2019s written a very important book. This is the kind of book that you could read through yourself, read through with your spouse, or even gift it to a friend or family member to unlock their potential on how to be a blessing to others. \u201cWhy?\u201d\u2014again, because God has so richly blessed us. You can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can give us a call at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of blessing, one of the <em>best<\/em> ways that we, at FamilyLife, can bless you is by praying for you. I have the president of FamilyLife, David Robbins, here with me today, talking about one of the best ways to bless the people, who are a part of this ministry and help make this ministry possible; and that\u2019s by praying for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re so grateful to have a team that specifically prays for the prayer requests you send in. I get to be a part of that team as the president of FamilyLife. Just today:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tI prayed for a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener whose son just got diagnosed with schizophrenia;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tfor a husband that\u2019s praying that [his] wife doesn\u2019t follow through with filing for divorce; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthen I just read this from Jason, and just prayed for Jason, where he wants to be the husband and father that God calls him to be. He just says in this prayer request: \u201cFamilyLife podcasts have been a huge encouragement to me these past number of months. My wife and I will also be headed to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in February. Please pray it will help us heal our marriage in ongoing ways.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tJason, I just want you to know we\u2019re praying for you. And for all of you, who are sending in your prayer requests, know that our team sincerely prays for you. We\u2019re <em>grateful<\/em> to get to journey alongside you in your pursuit of God and, also, those other meaningful relationships in your life with your spouse, or you kids, and those in your home and family. We\u2019re thankful to get to lock arms with you. Thank you to those of you who give that allow us to keep ministering to people in their time of need. You\u2019re making a difference, and we\u2019re grateful for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> That\u2019s true; we are deeply grateful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf this content today, or any of the FamilyLife programs have been helpful for you, we\u2019d love for you to share today\u2019s podcast with a friend or family member as a way to <em>advance<\/em> what we\u2019re doing in this ministry. Wherever you get your podcasts, it could really push forward the gospel effort of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> if you\u2019d scroll down, and rate and review us; that would be super helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to be hearing from Danny Huerta, talking about parenting troubled children in stepfamilies. That\u2019s our conversation tomorrow; we hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307444"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307444"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307444"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307444"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}