{"id":307443,"date":"2022-03-22T08:02:06","date_gmt":"2022-03-22T12:02:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-power-of-blessing-kids\/"},"modified":"2022-03-22T08:02:06","modified_gmt":"2022-03-22T12:02:06","slug":"the-power-of-blessing-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Blessing Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Could blessing kids impact more than you dreamed? Author Alan Wright gives ideas to correct kids, proclaim identity, &#038; shape their future using blessing.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the Familylife&#8217;s on the FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Could blessing kids impact more than you dreamed? Author Alan Wright gives ideas to correct kids, proclaim identity, &amp; shape their future using blessing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:25","filesize":"23.27M","filesize_raw":"24397836","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2806],"tags":[7057],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9764],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307443","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-spiritual-development","tag-blessing-kids","cwp_profile-alan-wright","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307443\/the-power-of-blessing-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307443\/the-power-of-blessing-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"GeaMw1EuBq\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-kids\/\">The Power of Blessing Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-blessing-kids\/embed\/#?secret=GeaMw1EuBq\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Power of Blessing Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"GeaMw1EuBq\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Could blessing kids impact more than you dreamed? Author Alan Wright gives ideas to correct kids, proclaim identity, &amp; shape their future using blessing.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, take five seconds and bless me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> [Laughing] What?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014just five seconds. Go ahead; I\u2019m ready. Go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You are a life-speaking bless-er of everyone you\u2019re around: grocery store; parking lot; obviously, at our church; our boys; our family. Oh, man! When we go over to the grandkids\u2019 house, they <em>run <\/em>out the door. And I wish they were running to see Poppy, but they\u2019re running to see Noni; because she\u2019s just\u2014you\u2019re a blessing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That took <em>way more <\/em>than five seconds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You knew I was going to say that; you set that up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you know what? Even hearing you say that, it\u2019s like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, flip it around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014it <em>fills<\/em> me up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s your turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You are a man of integrity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, that\u2019s good enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s all I need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to keep going!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know you do, because that\u2019s what you <em>do<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it is true; when we use our words to really tell people what we see, it\u2019s like an air hose to our soul\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like it feels good! And I think we <em>doubt<\/em> it sometimes; but we don\u2019t even care if we know if it\u2019s true; it just feels <em>so good<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, there is a <em>power<\/em> to bless\u2014and I just mentioned the title of a book\u2014and we have the author, Alan Wright, in here with us, again, today. Thank you so much for being back with us. Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I\u2019m so glad to be with you. I\u2019m just <em>loving<\/em> meeting you guys and talking about this, that\u2019s so dear to my heart. Thanks for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wish everyone listening\u2014I wish all of our listeners\u2014could see you, Alan; because the second you walk into the room, everyone thinks: \u201cI want to know that guy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Aw.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI want to sit beside that guy.\u201d Because you exude love\/acceptance; there\u2019s a joy about you that really is the essence of who you are. You can tell that Jesus fills you up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s one of these\u2014in fact, I could tell, you know, as I read your book\u2014and now, that I\u2019m meeting you\u2014this isn\u2019t just a book for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is your <em>life<\/em>. Your book, obviously, is called <em>The Power to Bless<\/em>: <em>How to Speak Life and Empower the People You Love. <\/em>But I\u2019m not kidding; sitting at lunch, and then as we discuss, it\u2019s like: \u201cThis isn\u2019t just a book; it\u2019s like your life story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It is my life story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> And it\u2019s the story of discovering myself blessed; and it\u2019s the discovery of how to bless others, and to raise a family under the sound of blessing, and to lead a church under the sound of blessing. You know, eventually, when we really grow in the Lord, we can reach to the point that both Jesus and Paul said: \u201cBless your enemies.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo this is my life\u2019s story; and in many ways, it\u2019s God\u2019s story: the One who blessed Adam and Eve; then said, \u201cBe fruitful and multiply.\u201d And then, all throughout Scripture, this theme that runs through it, where there\u2019s like an invisible force at work; and \u201cWill the people believe themselves blessed?\u201d \u201cWill they believe that the Promised Land is theirs, or will they believe that they\u2019re grasshoppers?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn many ways, it\u2019s our story. And blessed people end up blessing other people. Those who have not been blessed have a deficit\/an impoverished place that just must get nourished if they\u2019re ever going to live out the destiny God has for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alan, you talk about how the Bible has so many of these lessons, where we see a Father blessing His children. Is there actual power in that?\u2014because they would lay their hands on them and bless them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> And I think this is\u2014you know, isn\u2019t it interesting?\u2014in the Bible, where there are things that are not defined for us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014the way that we would like for them to be. I think it\u2019s because, you know, especially in Western culture, we\u2019re so rationalistic that mystery is harder for us. But it is something that is on display rather [than] being defined in some objective way. What we know is: this is something that\u2019s much more than mere encouragement, because the children of the Patriarchs <em>craved<\/em> it; it\u2019s what they wanted! It\u2019s why Jacob was willing to lie and cheat to try to get it. What could he get\u2014that he thought that he could get by stealing\u2014just to have his father lay his hands on him and speak words over him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy was it that, when Joseph learned that Jacob was nearing death, he had to <em>rush<\/em> because he wanted to get his two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, there so that they could be blessed? What is it there when David blesses his household? Why is it that, when Jesus is born, this mysterious figure appears, takes the baby Jesus into his arms, and blesses him? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that, at the simplest level\u2014yes!\u2014it\u2019s a powerful thing to encourage somebody; but at the deeper level, I think the message of the story of the Bible\/the big story of the Bible is that there is a mystical, invisible force at work\u2014not magic\u2014but something that is at work that, when you receive it, there is a grace to flourish and experience favor that would not have been there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember, and maybe you do as well, there was a book in the \u201880s, I\u2019m guessing, that came out, by Gary Smalley\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014called <em>The Blessing.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> People would ask us, back then, you know, \u201cWhat is the best parenting book you\u2019ve read?\u201d And I said, \u201c<em>The Blessing.\u201d <\/em>It wasn\u2019t a parenting book!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was just what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was just Gary and John Trent, actually, as authors, saying, \u201cOkay, what was in this Hebrew blessing from the father to the first-born son?\u201d They said there are five aspects. I\u2019m going to throw these at you, and you tell me: \u201cIs that what was there?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey said\u2014and I\u2019m doing this from memory! \u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because it was so memorable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014impactful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was almost the mystical part of what you were saying, as they tried to get a handle on saying: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay, there was meaningful touch that was involved, where the father laid a hand on [the child]; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthere was a spoken word of life or affirmation; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthere was attaching high value that wasn\u2019t dependent on performance, but based on identity as my son; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand then there was picturing a special future; in other words, \u201cI see this for your future.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAnd then, the last part was interesting: it was a <em>commitment<\/em> to that future. So in other words, it wasn\u2019t a dad or mom saying, \u201cI think God\u2019s going to do this in you.\u201d It was like: \u201cHow can we come alongside and help that happen?\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tSo as you think about the power to bless, is it <em>all<\/em> of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It\u2019s all of that. And their work on this was pioneering and fantastic\u2014it is all of that\u2014and it is even more, I think, in the sense that we aren\u2019t just picturing a special future. We are envisioning it, with our faith, for it to come to pass. I think that\u2019s part of the reason, when they say, you know: \u201cYou have active commitment toward it,\u201d which is to say that you are participating <em>because<\/em> you believe it can come to pass. That\u2019s what makes it not empty words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I think that, in many ways\u2014I like Dallas Willard\u2019s definition; one time, he said, \u201cIt is the actual willing of the good of another,\u201d\u2014I paraphrase that, but what he was saying was: \u201cYou know that feeling you have when you <em>love <\/em>somebody so much? You can think of this\u2014just somebody\u2014whether it\u2019s your child, spouse, friend. You love someone\u2014you just <em>want <\/em>something good for them\u2014you want it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a way\u2014I was talking, you know, before the show\u2014about how much I love kids, and I have grandparent fever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I want to get a baby in my hands!\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because I loved my kids when they were little babies. As I was saying to you guys earlier was: the thing I was looking forward to, before I ever was a parent, was: \u201cI\u2019ve been loved by God a lot, and so I have something to give.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You want to give it away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u201cI want to give it away,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014I do it every week, as a pastor and a preacher\u2014but the idea of having a little life, that I hold in my hands like clay. I will put it this way: I was looking forward to having somebody that would believe me entirely, [Laughter] because that\u2019s what our children do! They believe us entirely, and they receive it like a sponge. It is literally like helping to shape a soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to understand what blessing is, you think of what that thing is in you that just you <em>so <\/em>want the good of another\u2014and you know something good about the other\u2014you would so want to just somehow impart it to them. <em>That <\/em>is what blessing is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, some parents might say, \u201cWell, you know, a little too much is too much.\u201d Can you over-bless a child? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> You can\u2019t. You can praise them in the wrong way. You can\u2019t over-bless; there is no too much blessing. As I address this in the book, blessing is both grace and truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s good! You better explain that, because you often think it\u2019s <em>only <\/em>grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> You think of it as only grace. I think that this is <em>really <\/em>important\u2014and I put this section in the book\u2014there\u2019s even a picture of some quadrants there. And it\u2019s interesting; most people are drawn to\/they want to hear the stories of blessing and all about the power of blessing, but when you <em>really <\/em>can get somebody talking about different ways that we hear speech, and the way we speak, it becomes really intriguing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo just very briefly: I think that to say: \u201cThat we\u2019ve seen God\u2019s glory,\u201d\u2014according to John 1, because He came in the person of Jesus, full of grace and truth, is to say\u2014\u201cThat which is glorious is seen when grace and truth are together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAnd if we have all grace, but not truth, then we might be really nice, but we\u2019re just going to be leading people into error, and the truth sets us free; so there\u2019s no freedom without truth. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tBut if we have all truth, and we don\u2019t have grace, then we might, you know, be clubbing people over the head with the Bible; but nobody\u2019s going to want to listen to it, and they don\u2019t open their heart unless they\u2019re loved.\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you could envision, in a sense, that grace and truth as these continuums, as you just think about grace running like this line, endlessly; and truth that cross-sections across it:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe quadrant, upper right, would be where there\u2019s grace <em>and<\/em> truth; I would call that blessing. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tBut the opposite of that, in that lower quadrant\u2014no grace, no truth\u2014that\u2019s curse. Curse is a <em>negative<\/em> forecast that is also rooted in its own perverted form of faith. You know, fear is a form of belief; it\u2019s just a belief that something bad is going to happen. It has no grace, no love; and it has no truth, because it\u2019s false\u2014that\u2019s the problem with curse\u2014so when it\u2019s received, we\u2019re not only being unloved and criticized, we\u2019re believing something that\u2019s not true.\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tBut there are other forms of speech than blessing and curse. I would say that, if you could think about, \u201cWhat is grace with no truth?\u201d\u2014the term I would use for that is a-moralism. I think that\u2019s the spirit of the age; and that\u2019s where people go: \u201cOh, you\u2019re just all about blessing. You can bless people to do much.\u201d No! If you\u2019re a-moralistic\u2014meaning, it\u2019s grace without truth\u2014that\u2019s where we\u2019re saying to someone: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter;\u201d\u2014you know, right or wrong\u2014\u201cyou just follow your heart.\u201d And it almost wants to give <em>no<\/em> direction to someone. It\u2019s not a blessing at all!\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe other side of <em>that<\/em> is truth without grace: and that\u2019s moralism; that\u2019s Pharisee-ism. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tI think\/in fact, I\u2019ve led groups in training to discern: \u201cWhat is it that\u2019s coming out of my mouth at any point?\u201d In the book, I present scenarios\u2014like real-life scenarios a parent might face; you know? Your child has had a small accident. Thankfully, you know, he\u2019s okay; but he was texting while driving: \u201cHow do you respond to that with blessing?\u201d Well, sometimes, people would think blessing says, \u201cWell, don\u2019t worry about it. Boys will be boys. Just remember the main thing is: \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s not a blessing! It\u2019s not true! It <em>does <\/em>matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA blessing doesn\u2019t simply say, \u201cI love you.\u201d It says, \u201cI love you, and here\u2019s truth...\u201d A blessing in that situation would sound much more like: \u201cI love you more than anything. I most certainly forgive you for this, but you are a treasure and God has an important destiny for your life. Therefore, it\u2019s unacceptable to <em>ever <\/em>text and drive. I cannot sit here and say to you, \u2018It doesn\u2019t matter\u2019; because it matters <em>deeply<\/em>. Know my love and know the future that I see for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy wife had a beautiful way of disciplining our kids <em>with blessing<\/em>. You know, when your kid is just doing that thing, and you\u2019re just like, \u201cI can\u2019t even believe they did that. That\u2019s the dumbest thing I\u2019ve ever seen in my life!\u201d Everything in you wants to call out how dumb it was. Instead, she would just look at them and she said, \u201cGod gave you an excellent brain; I expect you to use it.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what blessing does\u2014whether it is simply affirming and encouraging; or it is correcting, even, in our parenting\u2014what blessing is saying is that: \u201cReal change comes, not by withholding our blessing and dangling it like a carrot to try to motivate someone to change; real change comes by proclaiming someone\u2019s identity so that, when they act in a way that does not align with that identity, they see it as a violation of who they really are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s good to define it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s talk about: \u201c<em>Why<\/em>\u00a0 don\u2019t we do it?\u201d; because I have to tell you: Dave honored me beautifully and blessed me by saying that I am a joy-giver and I do speak life. And I will say that, probably for the first 30 years of my life, I never did. I think part of that is I came from a family that we were told: \u201cWe are winners,\u201d and \u201cWe need to be leaders, and we need to win at all costs.\u201d They didn\u2019t say, \u201cTry your best\u201d; they said, \u201cBe the best.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I grew up with this striving mentality, and I always saw people as being my competition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And so why would I affirm them when I wanted to one-up them? So if I saw one of my friends that looked really cute that day, or I thought she was amazing, I wouldn\u2019t say that; because she was my competition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found that striving of always trying to be the best was <em>exhausting. <\/em>I thought these wonderful things about people; but I also saw my own insecurity and thought: \u201cOh, I\u2019m not <em>nearly <\/em>as good as them,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t measure up to that.\u201d So when we talk about\u2014\u201cWhy don\u2019t we give it?\u201d\u2014does it have anything to do with things like that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Absolutely, it does; because unless we find ourselves so deeply secure in the love of God, it\u2019s just hard to find ourselves affirming another. We are, on the whole\/in our sin nature, self-absorbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> As soon as sin came into the world, so did shame\u2014so they began covering themselves\u2014and that\u2019s where all of the competition began and the jealousy. The gospel of Jesus Christ changes everything; because God has loved us perfectly and infinitely, and we are infinitely rich in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I would say is\u2014if someone\u2019s struggling to have the motivation to bless or has those feelings as you\u2019ve so honestly shared that you once struggled with, which is the norm for most people\u2014start with this: \u201cSoak your life in the gospel of Jesus Christ.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you tend to hear the gospel message like this: \u201cBe good, serve, give, and God will love you,\u201d you will never have it! But if you hear the gospel for what it is: \u201cGod loves you infinitely, has blessed you with every spiritual blessing in Christ; therefore, receive Him and serve Him.\u201d If you get the order right, it will change everything. So soak in the gospel. I think that\u2019s one of the things that we just need to do\u2014and I think that we all need that\u2014I need it every day of my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing is we just haven\u2019t learned it; we haven\u2019t seen it modeled. And so I think a lot of people think it\u2019s not going to work. That\u2019s a big part of the reason I wrote the book; I just want to convince people: \u201cThis <em>works!\u201d<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> And part of it is I\u2019ve raised my kids in this. I\u2019ve seen it; I know it: it works! By that, what I mean is that there\u2019s a tendency to think that: \u201cIf I affirm this person, they\u2019ll quit trying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! \u201cIt will enable them!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u201cIt will enable them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I <em>totally <\/em>used to think that about Dave, like, \u201cI\u2019m not going to <em>praise <\/em>Him! He\u2019ll think I\u2019m satisfied, and it will enable him to stay the same!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And yet, the whole time she was critiquing me and criticizing me, it didn\u2019t work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It didn\u2019t work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t work; it doesn\u2019t work, because it\u2019s not God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> See, honestly, really, that\u2019s hell\u2019s way\u2014to withhold in order to produce an <em>anxiety<\/em> to try to make someone\u2014so in other words, when we withhold our blessing, what we\u2019re doing\u2014let\u2019s say it\u2019s to our child\u2014is we\u2019re essentially saying, \u201cI want you to worry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u201cI want you to worry about whether I\u2019ll really bless you; and then out of that <em>fear<\/em> and worry, you\u2019ll try harder.\u201d Well, guys, worry and fear are the farthest thing from the heart of God!\u2014right?\u2014that\u2019s what hell trades in. What heaven trades in is love and faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking of Julia Mancuso, who when she was a little girl, dreamed of being an Olympic athlete. She drew a picture of herself\u2014a little crayon picture of herself\u2014skiing down a hill; and at the bottom, it said something like, \u201cJulia Mancuso wins the gold!\u201d You know, she went on to win, I think, two or three golds in the downhill. That story came out in one of the Olympics; you know, all those great stories that come out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Well, I think about that story, where she got a vision of: \u201cThis is who I am!\u201d Now, what did that do? Did that make her quit trying? Did that make her say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to get a gold medal, so I\u2019ll just go sit on the couch during my teenage years, and eat potato chips, and play video games? No, no! Maybe some other kids are doing that, but she sees herself as an Olympic athlete; so she\u2019s out in the weight room, and on the slopes, and in training, and up early in the morning. In other words, blessing instills hope. And hope <em>empowers<\/em> us and <em>changes<\/em> us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s when we become hopeless that we quit trying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, talk about the tadpole.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes! [Laughter] Well, isn\u2019t it one of the funniest stories ever? Our daughter came home, when she was little, with this tadpole that we were supposed to, you know, for a science project, watch it grow legs and a tail and become a frog. So all these instructions we got with it; we got a bowl of spinach, and we had to feed it this bowl of spinach. [Laughter] My wife was like, \u201cUgh, this tadpole.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cHoney, it won\u2019t be here long. When it becomes a frog, we release it in the wild.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo a week goes by, and nothing; two weeks go by, and we\u2019re still feeding spinach. We\u2019ve got this tadpole. Three weeks go by; a month goes by. I mean, <em>two months <\/em>go by, and we just have a tadpole! We bump into Abby\u2019s little preschool teacher; and we say, \u201cHey, Nicky, when is this tadpole going to\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ve got a defect!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes! \u201cWhen does the metamorphosis happen?!\u201d And she said, \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d I said, \u201cOur tadpole is just a <em>tadpole!<\/em>\u201d She said, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not possible; everybody\u2019s already became a frog. It doesn\u2019t happen like that.\u201d I said, \u201cNo, we\u2019ve got a tadpole!\u201d You can\u2019t make this stuff up! This is just\/sometimes, God just gives me something just so I can see it; you know? He did it for the prophets; He had weird things happen just to teach them something. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur daughter goes to some summer camp or something, and they all get an aquatic frog. She brings home the frog. And we were all like, \u201cOkay, great; we had a tadpole; and now, we\u2019ve got a frog.\u201d So at first, I was like, \u201cPut the frog in with the tadpole,\u201d but we were looking at how <em>big <\/em>this tadpole is by now, and we\u2019re afraid the <em>tadpole <\/em>might eat the <em>frog<\/em>! So instead, we put the frog bowl next to the tadpole bowl; and that\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next day, my little girl Abby is on the phone; I\u2019m at church, and she\u2019s calling me. She is so excited. She said, \u201c<em>Daddy, daddy, daddy!\u201d <\/em>I said, \u201cWhat? Calm down.\u201d She said, \u201cYou\u2019re not going to believe it!!\u201d I said, \u201cWhat?\u201d She said, \u201cThat tadpole became a frog!\u201d I said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d I just dropped everything; I went running home. Y\u2019all, I\u2019m not making this up! Overnight, that tadpole had sprouted some legs, dropped its tail, and within two days was a full frog. And so we always declared: \u201cIt just needed to see what it was supposed to be. [Laughter] Once you could see it, you could be it!\u201d I think we\u2019re a lot like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s a sermon:\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cOnce you see it, you can be it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> If you can\u2019t see it, you can\u2019t be it. But if you can paint a picture of: \u201cThis is actually who you are,\u201d and \u201cThis is what life in Christ looks like,\u201d and \u201cThis is how I see who you are,\u201d I think what happens is people rise up to <em>meet<\/em> the vision that\u2019s spoken over their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo don\u2019t ever think that blessing is something you dangle, like a carrot, to try to motivate; that just creates fear. What blessing does is it <em>releases<\/em> love, which <em>casts out fear<\/em>; and <em>that<\/em> builds faith. We thrive in an environment of hope and faith, and that\u2019s what blessing imparts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Many of us can probably remember a point in time in our lives when we were younger, when an older person\u2014teacher, a parent, or whatever, family member\u2014looked at us and kind of raised the bar in our life that was positive and made us want to jump higher\/made us want to not settle for what we were settling for. Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Alan Wright today, and he has unpacked for us how to bless our kids: how to really raise the bar in their life and release them into the blessings God has for their life. We can shape our kids and the future in so many wonderful ways. Let\u2019s <em>do<\/em> it through the avenue of blessing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlan Wright has written a book called <em>The Power to Bless: How to Speak Life and Empower the People You Love. <\/em>Of course, we love our kids; of course, we love our family members. This is the kind of resource that can really help shape us into men and women who are people of blessing: to our spouse, to our friends, to our neighbors, and to our kids as well. We want to make this book available to you as a way to say, \u201cThank you for your gift to <em>FamilyLife Today.\u201d<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you head over to FamilyLifeToday.com, and make a donation of any amount all this week, as a \u201cThank you,\u201d we will send you a copy of Alan Wright\u2019s book, <em>The Power to Bless.<\/em> <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. When you donate, you\u2019re making <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible and available in your community in fresh, new ways. Thanks, in advance, for your support. Again, you can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf this blessing conversation has been a blessing to you, or any of the FamilyLife programs have been helpful for you, we\u2019d love for you to share today\u2019s podcast with a friend, or a family member, a neighbor. And wherever you get your podcast, you can really advance the gospel effort of what we\u2019re doing at <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>if you\u2019d scroll down and rate and review us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are going to talk, again, with Alan Wright on how to be a light and bless people you <em>don\u2019t<\/em> actually know. It might be easy to bless the people we <em>do <\/em>know; but he\u2019s going to be talking about how to bless, seemingly, strangers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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