{"id":307442,"date":"2022-03-21T08:03:10","date_gmt":"2022-03-21T12:03:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-blessings-surrounding-us\/"},"modified":"2022-03-21T08:03:10","modified_gmt":"2022-03-21T12:03:10","slug":"the-blessings-surrounding-us","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-blessings-surrounding-us\/","title":{"rendered":"The Blessings Surrounding Us"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is a blessing &#8212; both receiving it, and blessing those we love? Author Alan Wright offers simple, biblical skills to impart life-changing affirmations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:41","filesize":"25.35M","filesize_raw":"26582513","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[7056],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9764],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307442","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-what-is-a-blessing","cwp_profile-alan-wright","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307442\/the-blessings-surrounding-us","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307442\/the-blessings-surrounding-us","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"hHfWCDfPsI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-blessings-surrounding-us\/\">The Blessings Surrounding Us<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-blessings-surrounding-us\/embed\/#?secret=hHfWCDfPsI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Blessings Surrounding Us&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"hHfWCDfPsI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What is a blessing -- both receiving it, and blessing those we love? Author Alan Wright offers simple, biblical skills to impart life-changing affirmations.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I know that every single person needs this\u2014we need it as much as any plant needs water, as much as any child needs physical bread\u2014we need this. We\u2019re designed for it; we\u2019re made for it. God made us to receive positive, affirming, spiritually-based, biblically-laden vision over our lives that helps us know who we are. And if we don\u2019t get it, we\u2019re going to run into all kind of problems.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So one of the first things I remember about your dad,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014when we started dating,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, this is going to be interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I mean, the first thing I remember, honestly, was him barring me from your house\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014saying, \u201cYou\u2019ll never date Dave Wilson.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And well-deserved. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Why? [Laughter] I still don\u2019t know <em>why<\/em> he did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because you had such a terrible reputation, and he was your <em>coach<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re not going into that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And my brothers were going to school with you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I guess I did have a pretty bad reputation\u2014I wasn\u2019t a follower of Christ yet\u2014but now, I am, when I went to court you. Here\u2019s what I remember though, and it\u2019s still true to this day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014he was a man that blessed others with his words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Totally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He still does it\u2014I mean, in a restaurant\u2014he even did it with me once he finally allowed me to date you. When I came over to date you, I remember him saying, \u201cThis young man is a quality young man. Dave Wilson, I\u2019ve loved being your coach.\u201d I mean, it was like\u2014I didn\u2019t know what he was doing then\u2014but I\u2019ve watched him do it a <em>thousand<\/em> times. You see a person\u2019s face <em>light<\/em> up when he starts talking about them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which is super interesting, because when my dad was in assisted living, the nurses that worked there would all congregate in his room. I told him one time: \u201cDad, the reason they congregate there is because they\u2019re being <em>blessed<\/em> by you.\u201d I think this is so true, because we\u2019re all drawn to people that bless us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, we all long to be blessed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have in the studio today, Alan Wright, who is an author, a pastor; and I think, if anybody knows the power of blessing, it\u2019s this guy. Alan, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Oh, thanks so much for having me, Dave, Ann. I\u2019ve just loved already being with you guys and thank you for the privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I tell you what, I mean, we\u2019ve never met until we had lunch today You\u2019re a little bit like her dad. Immediately, you feel this sense of blessing in the room because, I mean, looking at you now\u2014you\u2019re smiling\u2014you bring a blessing in your life. Has that always been the case?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Thank you. I don\u2019t think always. I think I might have always <em>wanted<\/em> to be authentically caring about the well-being and <em>wanting<\/em> the very best for others, but I don\u2019t think it was always my case. I think that I was\u2014as a child through the brokenness of childhood and dad\u2019s struggles with alcohol\u2014the internal soul messages that I took hold of I had to get healed of a lot; because if our soul\u2019s hurting, then we\u2019re going to be thinking about ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I had to have a lot of healing of the soul <em>and<\/em> to learn about the power of blessing. I think they go hand in hand. Because until we\u2019re really set free from self-absorption, it\u2019s hard to be others-centered. But wow, I tell you: \u201cWhat joy there is in taking delight in seeing someone else flourish\u2014and having faith for others to flourish\u2014maybe, more faith than they have themselves.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Obviously, we\u2019re going to talk about your book, <em>The Power to Bless: How to Speak Life and Empower the People You Love;<\/em> but I want to know a little bit about <em>you<\/em>. I know you\u2019re a pastor in North Carolina, but tell us a little about your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Well, I have a beautiful wife of 36 years,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201436. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014who is a better teacher and preacher and communicator and storyteller than I could ever be. She is wonder<em>ful<\/em> in the sense of she is <em>full<\/em> of wonder, always has been; she celebrates life. At first, when I met her, I thought there was something wrong with her: \u201cYou can\u2019t celebrate that much\u201d; but she taught me all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got two grown kids. Bennett\u2019s been married for four years, and he\u2019s just starting a law practice; and our daughter Abby just graduated from college and took a job and moved to Washington, DC, to work with a PR firm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019re a radio show host?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> A host of a radio program\/daily program that\u2019s featured around the nation for over ten years now. We pastor this wonderful church\/multi-site church in North Carolina, and I write books. So life is good, and life is full.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So why <em>The Power to Bless<\/em>? I mean, you start the book, saying, \u201cWe all long for the blessing; and if we don\u2019t get it, we go on a search for it.\u201d Explain: \u201cWhat is the blessing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It has become for me much more than an idea of a book or a little practice that\u2019s part of your life. It is, in many ways, the <em>substance<\/em> of life, relationship, and ministry. This is, in many ways, a life message for me that I began learning about <em>early<\/em> in our marriage. I didn\u2019t know anything about it. I began to read a little bit about how the Hebrew patriarchs blessed their children. I remember being mesmerized by the sense of raw power that was being released in blessing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember the first time really reading the stories of Isaac and his twin boys, Jacob and Esau, and the familiar story how Jacob, that conniver and deceiver, stole the blessing by pretending to be his brother Esau. And when he tricked their blinded father, old Isaac, into blessing the wrong son, I was just amazed. The text said that once he realized he had blessed the wrong son\u2014and I thought, \u201cWell, he\u2019ll just\/in America, we\u2019d say:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cMy mistake.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c\u2019My mistake; come on in here, Esau. Let me bless you instead.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot so; instead, the text said he trembled violently; and he said, \u201cI have blessed him; and indeed, he will be blessed.\u201d I started becoming fascinated with this irrevocable power that mysteriously weaves its way all throughout the Scripture. It\u2019s everywhere: it runs through the patriarchs; and it runs all the way into Jesus\u2019s ministry, where everybody wanted to bring their children\u2014not just so He could pray for them\u2014so He could <em>bless<\/em> them. What was He doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alan, I\u2019ve been fascinated about that for years; because I\u2019ve thought the same thing. They always laid their hands on them; it was their right hand that had the most blessing in it. I always thought, \u201cWhere does that power?\u2014is it through his words?\u2014is it prophetic?\u201d What did you come to discover?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s <em>all<\/em> of that in the power of blessing. This is something that is so pervasive in the Bible that, in many ways, I would say you could say this is the theme: \u201cIn the beginning, God created Adam and Eve; and then He blessed them. And then He said, \u2018Be fruitful and multiply.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that, for much of my life\u2014and maybe our listeners can understand if you\u2019ve come from any measure of brokenness\u2014there can be a thought that gets into the child\u2019s soul that: \u201cIf I perform well, then I\u2019ll be blessed.\u201d I think that\u2019s the way of our culture: \u201cProve yourself and show us your worth; and then, maybe, we\u2019ll rise up and bless you.\u201d How interesting\u2014not so with God\u2014blessing with God was not the reward for productivity; it\u2019s the <em>fuel<\/em> for it. He blessed Adam and Eve and then He said, \u201cBe fruitful and multiply.\u201d So when I see all of this in the Scripture, I became fascinated by it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen through a process of soul healing, and looking at my own life\u2014and being willing to take an honest self-inventory of the ways that maybe blessing wasn\u2019t spilling out of my mouth towards my wife the way I wanted it to in our early years\u2014and starting to understand\/I started realizing: \u201cThis may be one of the most important things for me to learn.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThankfully, God began showing me about it. I, not only became a student, I just began to put it in practice. So long before we had children, we were already building our household on the idea of blessing\u2014much more than mere encouragement\u2014I\u2019m talking about that positive and even prophetic faith-filled vision that you speak over someone else\u2019s life. It\u2019s rooted in Scripture and confidence that it can come to pass. And when people receive that, watching, then they can rise up to meet it. It became <em>the<\/em> most important principle in our parenting <em>and<\/em> in my pastoring of a church every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, take us back; because you didn\u2019t have that, necessarily, growing up. Tell us about your childhood and what that was like, because you <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> get that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I loved my dad: he was a TV newsman, and he was brilliant. He was so intelligent, and I loved him. In fourth grade, he called a family meeting; and it was the only time I ever saw him cry. He said he was going to be leaving, and I didn\u2019t know why. I had only begun to understand what\/then I would later understand that Dad had a lifelong struggle with alcohol. He had times of sobriety and other times not so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you grow up in that environment, the child internalizes all of this. Nobody ever said, \u201cAlan, if you will be better, your dad will come back home\u201d; nobody ever said that; nobody would want me to believe that. My dad was never abusive; he never held it over my head. He never said, \u201cAlan, you need to make straight A\u2019s or else I\u2019ll never be proud of you.\u201d He never said, \u201cYou need to be somebody special.\u201d Of course, he was not like that; but what did I think?\u2014what did I believe? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo those internal messages of shame: \u201cI have something wrong with me; I must not measure up,\u201d and \u201cThere\u2019s something wrong with my family.\u201d And you know, if your dad is an alcoholic, you don\u2019t want to bring people over; because you don\u2019t know: \u201cMaybe he\u2019s drinking that day.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn one hand, I\u2019m so proud of him; and I love him so much. And yet, he was this man\u2014who was distant because of alcohol and distant because he wasn\u2019t there\u2014he was also a man, like so many in his generation, who never had seen it modeled or knew how to express his feelings\uf02d\uf02ddidn\u2019t know how to just look deeply in my eyes and say: \u201cAlan, here\u2019s how I see who you are as a gifted person. Here\u2019s some of the richest traits and attributes that I see in you\u2026\u201d \u201cHere is what I believe that God could do with your life\u2026\u201d and \u201cHere\u2019s a destiny I\u2019d like to speak over your life\u2026\u201d I never had a moment like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, when I was in college, my first year, I made straight A\u2019s; and I let him know. He sent me a note and said he was proud of me. I held onto it, because I\u2019d never had anything like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt a time when Dad, after all three of us in the family\u2014my two brothers and I\u2014we were all grown. We\u2019re growing\/we\u2019re growing spiritually, and Dad is going through a time of growing also. I said, \u201cLet\u2019s get some counseling together\u201d; and we did. In one of the counseling sessions, I said I\u2019d really\/it\u2019s something I\u2019d like\u2014I said, \u201cDad, I\u2019d like you to bless me.\u201d He didn\u2019t know what I was talking about; and interestingly, the counselor didn\u2019t know what I was talking about. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not talking about something that you say after somebody sneezes [Laughter] or what you say before the meal. I\u2019m talking about speaking a positive vision. I want to know why you\u2019re proud of me. I want to know what you see in me, Dad.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and you told him that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I told him that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did he respond?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> He said, \u201cSure.\u201d He went home; and he brought back, at our next counseling session, three index cards. He\u2019d written out a small blessing for each of us\u2014it wasn\u2019t profound; it wasn\u2019t scriptural\u2014it was the best that he could do. He wrote on his card\/he said: \u201cWhen we brought you home\u201d\u2014I was the youngest of three boys\u2014\"we brought you home; your older brother, Mark, said, \u2018Why did we have to get him?\u2019\u201d [Laughter] He said, \u201cI now know why we would need you.\u201d It\u2019s small, but I could cry about it right now; because to a malnourished soul, that\u2019s like a treasured morsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to so many people, who they\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> had their dad, once, look them in the eye and affirm something to them. I knew that I needed it. I know that every single person needs this\u2014we need it as much as any plant needs water, as much as any child needs physical bread\u2014we need this. We\u2019re designed for it; we\u2019re made for it. God <em>made<\/em> us to receive positive, affirming, spiritually-based, biblically-laden vision over our lives that helps us know who we are. And if we don\u2019t get it, we\u2019re going to run into all kind of problems. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy problems weren\u2019t outward; I was the conformist. I was the guy, who was going to try to perform; but inwardly, it produced angst. Inwardly, it made me feel like I\u2019m striving. Because, Dave and Ann, I just think everybody in this world is either, who\u2019s working hard\u2014and that\u2019s not everybody\u2014but people who are trying, they\u2019re either doing so because they want to prove themselves worthy, <em>so<\/em> they\u2019ll be blessed; <em>or<\/em> they know themselves blessed, and they\u2019re just looking to make a difference, joyfully. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always wanted to be the latter; but for a long time in my life, Ann, I was the former. God healed me of so much and showed me so much that I want everybody to understand about this principle: the blessing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do you think would have happened\/how old were you when your dad did that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> I was in my 30s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, some of us would think, \u201cGee whiz, you\u2019re a man now. You\u2019ve gotten beyond that. You never got it, but you\u2019re good\u201d; right? But you <em>weren\u2019t<\/em> in a sense. I mean, you might have looked fine and been able to accomplish a lot of things; but deep down, your soul is still <em>longing<\/em> for the blessing at 30 years of age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Oh, the un-affirmed soul longs for blessing for a whole life. You could be 95 and be longing. There is no substitute other than receiving it, so I sought it from him. And then, also learned the value of finding spiritual fathers\u2014you know, authentic fellowship, where our accountability is not: \u201cHey, quit doing that behavior,\u201d\u2014our accountability is blessing; it is: \u201cThis is who God made you to be,\u201d \u201cThis is your design,\u201d \u201cThis is how I see your life.\u201d I began to find people, who knew how to speak that into me: to receive it in order to give it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I was going to ask\/that was what my question would be: \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t got it that day from your dad\u2014maybe he refuses to or says: \u2018I don\u2019t know how to do it,\u2019 or \u2018I don\u2019t think it\u2019s that important,\u2019\u2014so there\u2019s a lot of people that <em>never<\/em> do get what you got;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> There are so many.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat happens?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Well, A) I think that all of us need to be on a journey of healing our souls so that we let the love of Christ\u2014the assurance of that love from the deposit of the Holy Spirit, who is our guarantee of our inheritance\u2014letting God through His Word, through His presence, through His people, letting the gospel go more deeply and richly into our souls until we know that we know that we know we are accepted in the beloved. The healing that we get from knowing ourselves\u2014[that we are] loved by the Father and <em>blessed<\/em> of the Father, regardless of our performance\u2014that\u2019s where we\u2019re healed; but we need people on this journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell in the book the story of my daughter Abby. Our daughter Abby\/she came home and said she had an assignment. She had to give a speech. I said, \u201cOkay, Abby, I\u2019ll help you on it.\u201d I mean, in the first place, part of blessing is just you have somebody who is for you; right? That\u2019s what we do as parents: \u201cI\u2019m for you. I\u2019m not going to do it for you; but I\u2019m for you, and I\u2019m with you every step of the way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe went and she gave her speech. I said, \u201cLet me hear it.\u201d There I sat on the blue couch in the living room, and she stood up. This awkward teenage girl giving her first public speech to an audience of one. I don\u2019t even remember what it was about; but I remember sitting there, spellbound by the way that she had a natural flow and rhythm, and inflection points in her voice, and content that was clear. It was just great! I could hardly believe it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe got done; I looked at her; I said, \u201cAbby,\u201d\u2014I said\u2014\u201cyou have a communication gift.\u201d I said, \u201cThat was <em>wonderful<\/em>.\u201d She giggled a little bit and said, \u201cOh, Dad, you\u2019re just saying that.\u201d I said, \u201c<em>No<\/em>; I am a communicator. This is what I do in my life. Now, let me tell you everything that I saw that was very special about that.\u201d I get a little emotion with this because it went into her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, it did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> It went into her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Well, at first, she resisted; but then she <em>believed<\/em> me. I had to tell her over and over how gifted she was until she finally\/we got her into a national speech organization. She said she didn\u2019t want to do it; I said, \u201cI really think you\u2019d like it.\u201d Her very first speech contest was at a national level. One of her speeches made it into\u2014her very first time\u2014made it in the top five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> The next year, she qualified for the national tournament, which was a big deal in this particular speech organization. But instead, we had scheduled to go to Papua New Guinea on a mission trip; because we had been supporting a missionary who, for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t30 years, had been working, translating the Bible into the native language of a tiny island of Papua New Guinea, and we had [previously] committed to go. She had to give up going; and she, as far as she knew, might never make it to nationals again. We went; and we had the time of our lives, watching a people get the Word of God for the first time in their written language. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe came back the next year; she wrote a speech on it\u2014she did it locally, regionally\u2014and it qualified for the national tournament in the Twin Cities in Minneapolis. They had the national tournament\u2014and through the grueling event, came to the end\u2014and her name was announced as the national champion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Two years later, she won another national championship. She\u2019s just <em>delightful<\/em> to listen to, especially as she speaks of the things of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just wonder how many people have a gift that wasn\u2019t affirmed or watered by the power of blessing. I look at the difference in what she had from me, alongside of her, being able to authentically discern what her gifts are. See; I think that\u2019s the thing we need. Our culture is so full of the lie that tells you: \u201cJust look inside yourself and find yourself,\u201d \u201cLook for your inner guide; don\u2019t let <em>anyone<\/em> tell you who you are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s gone <em>so far<\/em> that our children are just utterly confused with no one speaking into their life, and that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> God\u2019s design. God\u2019s design is for people\u2014who love, who know the truth, who have faith, and who really want to see someone flourish with authentic discernment\u2014help them know: \u201cHere\u2019s who you are,\u201d and then we grow into it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe raised our kids in that. It was almost like an experiment, because I hadn\u2019t lived in it myself firsthand. It has been a beautiful thing, just to watch the power of blessing at work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, as I hear you, Alan\u2014and I get emotional about it, too\u2014because as you talked about the malnourished soul, <em>so many<\/em> of us haven\u2019t had the blessing. I know that we talked about my dad at the opening of how he does give blessing, but he didn\u2019t do that when we were growing up; he changed. The only time I would ever hear him say something positive about me, when I was little, was when it was to someone else. I remember thinking, \u201cWait; he does think something good about me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think so many of us <em>long<\/em> for that blessing. We <em>long<\/em> for somebody to see us and point out\u2014\u201cOh, I see you; and I see who God made you. I see the gifts that He put in you,\u201d\u2014just as you did your daughter. That was such a <em>powerful<\/em> illustration. We have so much power in our words; but sometimes, we\u2019re so lost\u2014of looking at ourselves and our deficits, or our striving for someone to see us or someone to approve of us\u2014that we don\u2019t always give it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be interesting to talk more about that: \u201cWhy don\u2019t we give it?\u201d Because when I listen to you, I\u2019m so inspired\u2014like your daughter\u2014of course, she\u2019s going to go on and do those things, because you\u2019re calling out what God had put in her. And what power God has given us to, not only see it, but to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I tell you what\u2014just listening to both of you\u2014actually, my thought is: \u201cI really don\u2019t want to go another day without using the power to bless somebody else,\u201d whether as a dad to my kids or as a neighbor to my neighbor. I think the church\/the followers of Christ should be known as people who <em>bless<\/em> others; because that\u2019s going to be a magnet to draw them to the One who\u2019s blessed us. I mean, honestly, I would say to a dad or mom today\/right now: \u201cIf you haven\u2019t today spoken words of life and blessing over your child, you\u2019ve got today; do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re all familiar with how to tear down people, whether verbally or in our minds. Yet it\u2019s difficult to do the work of blessing people: building them up, communicating something that encourages them, that points them to the Lord. All over Scripture we see this exhortation that we are blessed in order to <em>be<\/em> a blessing. God blesses us that we might bless other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Alan Wright. He\u2019s the author of <em>The Power to Bless: How to Speak Life and Empower the People You Love<\/em>. This is the kind of book that you could read yourself or give to a friend or a family member that would encourage you and give you some practical insight on how to bless others. We want to make this available to you, as a way to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d with a donation of any amount at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can give us a call at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to make your donation. Thanks, in advance, for your support; and we hope you enjoy this book. I think you will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf this conversation with Alan Wright and Dave and Ann Wilson today, or any of the FamilyLife programs, have been helpful for you, we\u2019d love for you to share today\u2019s podcast with a friend or a family member. And wherever you get your podcasts, it can really advance the gospel effort of what we\u2019re doing at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> if you\u2019ll scroll down and rate and review us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to explore this topic of blessing others by specifically talking about how we can bless our kids and the kind of <em>major<\/em> impact that can have on their lives. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. 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