{"id":307435,"date":"2022-03-14T08:02:15","date_gmt":"2022-03-14T12:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/living-a-life-of-authenticity\/"},"modified":"2022-03-14T08:02:15","modified_gmt":"2022-03-14T12:02:15","slug":"living-a-life-of-authenticity","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-a-life-of-authenticity\/","title":{"rendered":"Living a Life of Authenticity"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s much easier to be concerned with what&#8217;s outward than what&#8217;s inside of us. Bestselling author James Merritt examines how to live a life of authenticity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:13","filesize":"23.1M","filesize_raw":"24216879","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[2576],"podcast_series":[8511],"cwp_profile":[9761],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307435","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-authenticity","podcast_series-james-merritt-character-still-counts","cwp_profile-james-merritt","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307435\/living-a-life-of-authenticity","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307435\/living-a-life-of-authenticity","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jpuT2bh4nD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-a-life-of-authenticity\/\">Living a Life of Authenticity<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-a-life-of-authenticity\/embed\/#?secret=jpuT2bh4nD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Living a Life of Authenticity&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jpuT2bh4nD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"It's much easier to be concerned with what's outward than what's inside of us. Bestselling author James Merritt examines how to live a life of authenticity.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve been married 41 years, and you want to know what my favorite thing is about you? What do you think I\u2019m going to say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Uh, my body? [Laughter] You didn\u2019t think I\u2019d say that? Well, I\u2019ll just say it <em>used to<\/em> be my body; I don\u2019t think it\u2019s quite anymore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy favorite thing about you, and has been for 41 years\u2014I get teary even just saying this\u2014is your words match your life. Like what you say, what you preach, what you talk about\u2014I live with you, and I see your life\u2014I see how you\u2019re living out your faith and what you talk about matches your life. That is my favorite thing. I get so teary about it, because I know that our sons would say the same thing: \u201cThat you have always lived what you\u2019ve preached,\u201d\u2014not perfectly, by any means; none of us have perfectly\u2014but it matches, and there\u2019s something really powerful and magnetic about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, we can go home now. [Laughter] That\u2019s the greatest gift you could give me. I think I could say the same thing about you, no question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it\u2019s an important topic that we\u2019re going to talk about today: character\/integrity really, really matters. We\u2019ve got a man in the studio that I know is a man of character and integrity as well. James Merritt is with us. Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Good to be with you guys. Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve never met. I mean, I\u2019ve heard <em>so much<\/em> about you in so many different areas: pastor, author, president of Southern Baptist\u2019s Convention; how many years ago?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Oh, that was like 2000 to 2002. It was back when 911 hit; it was right in that period of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; obviously, written many, many books. How many?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Oh, I don\u2019t know\u2014ten or twelve\u2014I don\u2019t keep up with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But this latest one about character\u2014<em>Character Still Counts<\/em>\u2014is, obviously, something that\u2019s passionate in your life. I mean, it\u2019s what Ann was just talking about: it is what defines a man, defines a woman, defines a person. So talk to us about: \u201cWhy did you decide to write about character?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Well, as I began\u2014first of all, I\u2019ve never had the privilege of meeting either one of you\u2014and this is not flattery. My mentor was Adrian Rogers. Dr. Rogers\u2014I spent a day with him, back when I was a young pastor\u2014and learned more\/I tell people I learned more about how to pastor and preach in a day than I did in seven years of seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Rogers used to say: \u201cFlattery is what you will say to a man\u2019s face, but you won\u2019t say behind his back. Praise is what you\u2019ll say to a man\u2019s face, whether you say it behind his back or not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo this is not flattery at all\u2014but I don\u2019t believe a wife could say anything greater about her husband than what you just said about your husband\u2014or vice versa. I\u2019ll just have to tell your audience: we\u2019ve never met, but you size up\u2014when you\u2019ve been around the block like I have\u2014and from the very time we just sat down and talked, I just, in my heart I said, \u201cThese two people love the Lord; they\u2019re real\u201d; so I\u2019m honored to be on your program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of that said, this book that I wrote\u2014<em>Character Still Counts<\/em>\u2014is really fascinating to me for this reason: I\u2019ve been partnering with Harvest House Publishers for\u00a0 a long time. I had submitted a couple of projects, and they didn\u2019t like either one of them. They came back to me\u2014this was before the election\u2014they came back to me and they said, \u201cWe want to propose you do a book on character.\u201d Well, to be honest, I didn\u2019t want to do the book. This is why\u2014this is a little preacher inside secret; you\u2019re a pastor [Dave], so you know this\u2014most preacher\u2019s books are sermons. They do the sermon, and somebody takes the sermons and make it into a book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Well, I had never preached on any of this. So really, I was starting from scratch\/literally, starting from scratch. I tell people, except for my dissertation when I did my PhD at Southern Seminary, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever worked harder on anything in my life than I did this book\u2014because I literally was starting from scratch\u2014I mean, even building the outline of the book and everything. What I did this time is flip the script, where I did my research and then made sermons out of it; so it was kind of the other way around. But it was one of the most rewarding things I\u2019ve ever done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was speaking to a large church\/mega church staff yesterday\u2014they\u2019re having a retreat in Atlanta\u2014and I decided to do one of my character traits, which is faithfulness; that\u2019s what I was talking about. I said\u2014the pastor\u2019s one of my best buddies, who is a great guy; he kind of said, \u201cJames, preach\/talk about whatever you want to talk about, but you might want to talk about leadership or something like that,\u201d\u2014I just didn\u2019t feel led to do that; because I told the staff yesterday that there\u2019s all kinds of leadership material out there today, and you\u2019ve got John Maxwell\u2019s corner of the market and other people like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about this yesterday\u2014it\u2019s very interesting\u2014Jesus was I think, by all accounts, the greatest leader who ever lived,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> \u2014obviously; okay?\u2014the greatest everything that ever lived\u2014but when you read the Gospels, Ann, He never said a word about leadership\u2014He modeled it\u2014what He always talked about was character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think that we\u2019re living in a day and age when more and more people think that character counts less and less; I think it\u2019s <em>wrong<\/em>. I think the number-one thing we ought to look for in\u2014not just a pastor; but a president, or a governor, or the CEO of a company or anywhere\u2014I think the most important thing we should look at is character.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How would you define character? What do you mean by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Good question. Of course, I have a Christian worldview; okay? To me, the ultimate character from a human being is when you\u2019re modeling the life of Christ in every aspect. As a matter of fact, I will go ahead and jump to the conclusion. My favorite chapter in the book is the last chapter; because what I do is point out how <em>all<\/em> these character traits Jesus displayed in His ministry\u2014every single one\u2014He batted 1,000.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, you list 12 different character traits in that last chapter\u2014by the way, your shortest chapter\u2014but so enlightening to say: \u201cEverything we just read about\u201d\u2014the 12 different character traits\u2014\u201call of them are in Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. You can define character in all kinds of ways; but again, being a Christian, I think it\u2019s really modeling the life of Christ. I think it really is living out the Spirit of God\u2019s righteousness in you; I think that is character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA person can have good character and not know the Lord; you can be a <em>good<\/em> person. But I think to have the kind of character that God wants every one of us to have, He has to produce that character in us and through us. That\u2019s why I just believe you\u2019ll always fall short of what you could have been and should have been\u2014as a man, a woman, as a father, as a husband, whatever\u2014you\u2019ll always fall short if you don\u2019t have that personal relationship with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And what\u2019s your story? James, tell us: \u201cWere you always a man of character? Has that always been something that\u2019s important to you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Well, I was raised right\u2014my mom and dad\u2014I grew up in a Christian home. My dad\u2019s an interesting character. For your listeners that may remember <em>All in the Family<\/em>, I call my dad: \u201cHe was a saved Archie Bunker\u201d; that was my dad. [Laughter] He did love the Lord; but he was just very opinionated, and very blunt, and that kind of thing and all. My dad started drinking when he was about 13. He drank\u2014almost became an alcoholic\u2014until he was 28; and then somebody shared the gospel with my dad. It was before I was born. My dad became a believer. When my dad became a believer\u2014for 55 years\u2014I mean, he literally gave up alcohol the day he gave his life to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did he? Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> From the day that he gave his life to Christ until he died at 83, he never touched another drop of alcohol. So the time I came along, I was raised in a home, where in fact I used to sit with my dad in church every Sunday. We went to Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night\u2014the whole nine yards\u2014my dad read his Bible; my mom read their Bible every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad just taught me, growing up, that there\u2019s just certain things you do: you keep your word; you do what you say you will do; you don\u2019t steal; you\u2019re honest; and you treat other people right. But it wasn\u2019t a humanistic characteristic; it was more: \u201cThis is what Christians do\/this is what godly people do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you say you\u2019ve always been a person of character: I think that, from the time I was born, I began to <em>learn<\/em> character. I think, as you grow and mature in your faith, you realize how your character does need to grow; and you never do ever reach the pinnacle of perfection, obviously. When I wrote the book\u2014and I went through and I was going back through my edits\u2014there were certain of those character traits that, boy, I just got convicted of. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not there yet, Lord. That\u2019s just not quite\/I know I need to do work on that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that <em>troubles<\/em> me, again, is that people today\u2014it\u2019s more about results; it\u2019s more about image; it\u2019s more about the little sound bite\u2014character seems to fall by the wayside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about the difference between character and integrity. Again, maybe they\u2019re the same thing; maybe they\u2019re not. But when you hear the word, \u201ccharacter,\u201d I often think\u2014you tell me if I\u2019m right or wrong; I read what you wrote; it\u2019s very similar\u2014but I think integrity is what you said earlier, even what Ann said, a man or a woman\u2019s life matches their words. There\u2019s not a\u2014that\u2019s integer; right?\u2014it\u2019s a whole number; there\u2019s not a division there. Is that what character is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ll put it this way. By the way, when I told them I\u2019d write the book, I said one of the authorial things I wanted was I want the first chapter and the last chapter\u2014I don\u2019t care what the order of the rest of the chapters are\u2014but I want the first chapter to be integrity; because to your point, I believe integrity is the foundation. Character begins and ends with integrity. I taught my boys, growing up\u2014my three sons\u2014\u201cIf you don\u2019t have integrity, guys, you\u2019ve got nothing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> So the way I would put it, Dave, is this way: \u201cIf you don\u2019t have integrity, no matter what else you have, you don\u2019t have real character. But character is more than just integrity.\u201d The reason I started with that very chapter is because everything rises and falls on integrity. As a matter of fact, you\u2019ll find it\/you\u2019ll be hard pressed to find, where if a person doesn\u2019t have integrity, he has a lot of those other traits. Most of the time, he won\u2019t. For example:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not a person of integrity, you won\u2019t be faithful. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not a person of integrity, you won\u2019t be honest. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not a person of integrity, you won\u2019t be humble; you won\u2019t be authentic. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is the bedrock\/it is the foundation, I think, of what character is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Many of our listeners know, maybe I\u2019ve said it a couple of times, that I was the Detroit Lions chaplain for 33 seasons\u2014which means 1 playoff win\u201433 seasons, 1 playoff win. One of the first coaches I sat under was a guy named Frank Gansz, who was our special teams coach in the \u201880s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget: he would stand up in front of the team many times and use his hands as an illustration. He\u2019d take one hand and say, \u201cWhat a man <em>says<\/em>\u201d; [and with the other hand] \u201cwhat a man <em>does,\u201d<\/em>\u2014[clap hands together] he\u2019d put them together\u2014like, \u201cThis is what you say; this is what you do: it\u2019s got to match up.\u201d He goes, \u201cIf this doesn\u2019t match up, you can\u2019t play for me.\u201d In other words, in the football realm, he\u2019s saying, \u201cIf you say you\u2019re in Gap A, you\u2019ve got to be in Gap A. You can\u2019t say, \u2018I\u2019m going to be there,\u2019 and not show up.\u201d It would always be\u2014I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget that visual\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You preached on that; I remember you slapping your hands together like that in a sermon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, because I can remember Frank doing it. Now, his son coaches in the league. It was like such a good visual to say: \u201cIs what I\u2019m saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014with your right hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cmatching up to my life?\u201d If I say to my wife, \u201cI\u2019m faithful,\u201d am I faithful in a hotel room when nobody\u2019s looking? If I say to my church or to a buddy of mine that: \u201cI give you my word,\u201d\u2014there was a day a handshake sort of felt like I could trust that shake\u2014I feel like we live in a culture, now, it\u2019s like: \u201cEh, if it\u2019s not written down in a contract, I\u2019m not sure.\u201d Has integrity lost its foundation in our culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> One of the things my dad taught me is an old saying: \u201cYour word is your bond.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> My dad taught me that. Dad used to say \u201cSon, a man\u2019s handshake is better than ink on paper. If you need ink on paper to do what you say you\u2019ll do, you\u2019re not much of a man.\u201d I just totally agree with you. We could get into the whole sports world again about this\u2014there\u2019s something about these guys\u2014you sign a contract; you want to renegotiate with: somebody else starts getting paid more. [Team manager]: \u201cWait a minute; wait a minute. You agreed to play for this. You said it was a fair day\u2019s wage for a fair day\u2019s work. I kept my end of the bargain; you keep yours.\u201d So, even in those kinds of things, we see integrity seemingly go by the wayside. We see it so much in every day life\u2014when integrity goes down, trust in your fellow man goes down\u2014because trust is built on integrity: doing what you say you\u2019ll do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things you\u2019ll appreciate, Ann, Zig Ziglar\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever heard of Zig Ziglar\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; sure have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> \u2014he was one of my very best friends. In fact, Zig used to call me\/he called me the Bible answer man. He called me every Saturday with a Bible question. Every Saturday, he always called me about 9:00.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, Zig\u2019s this \u201cstinking thinking guy\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201c Get rid of stinking thinking.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> That\u2019s him. I\u2019ve never been around anybody I loved being around more than Zig Ziglar to this day. Zig said something that triggers something in my mind, and he put this in his book; so about 25 years ago, I started doing this: Teresa and I have been married 45 years; every night, before I go to bed, I will say to her, \u201cI\u2019ve always been faithful to you.\u201d I don\u2019t have to tell her that every day\u2014I <em>love<\/em> telling her that every day; I <em>want<\/em> to tell her that every day\u2014I want her to know that I\u2019ve always been faithful to her, because it\u2019s such a foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was telling this staff retreat yesterday about marriage; we were talking about marriage. I used to believe the most important thing that she could give you and you could give her was love: \u201cOf course, love, obviously, is going to hold this together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve changed my mind. I think the most important thing you must have from her\u2014and she must have from you\u2014is trust.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Because it doesn\u2019t matter how much you love each other\u2014if you don\u2019t trust each other\u2014you\u2019re not going to have much of a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve got to know that he\u2019s always faithful; he\u2019s got to know you\u2019re always faithful, Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started doing that, like I say, about 25 years ago. I\u2019ve had some people make fun, and laugh, and all of that stuff; but it is a <em>joy<\/em> for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you something about character, Dave\u2014and you know this\u2014this is the sad thing. People don\u2019t realize that the joy that comes in life when you\u2019re a person of character. You don\u2019t have to worry about what you say if you always tell the truth. If you lie, you may have to worry because you may get caught; but if you always tell the truth, you don\u2019t have to worry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery part of the character\/all the character traits in that book, you could look at them and you say, \u201cGolly, Pete, if I were to do all that, I mean, I\u2019d be straight laced, and I can\u2019t have fun;\u201d it\u2019s just the <em>opposite<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> The people who have true godly character have more fun than anybody on the planet, because you know you\u2019re never going to do the wrong thing. I told my boys, growing up\/I said \u201cBoys, if you never get in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person, you can\u2019t do the wrong thing.\u201d When you always know you\u2019re going to do your best to be the right person, doing the right thing in the right place, there\u2019s a joy and a peace of conscience and a good night\u2019s sleep that comes every night that you just can\u2019t put money on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s interesting, as I hear you say that, I think: \u201cTo be a man or woman of character\u2014integrity as well\u2014you have to pre-decide. You have to make decisions before moments.\u201d In other words, what you just said: to be in the right place with the right people, you\u2019ve got to pre-decide before you walk out of your house, or even in your house: \u201cI\u2019m not going to hang out\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not going to go\u2026\u2014right?\u2014it\u2019s a pre-decision; it doesn\u2019t happen in the moment. It\u2019s like I decide before I leave my\u2014like you\u2019re going home tonight; and you\u2019re going to say to your wife, \u201cI\u2019ve been faithful,\u201d\u2014you made a decision\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014before you even left the house today to make sure that you\u2019re going to go home faithful; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> A great example of that is\u2014and again, something else I told my boys\u2014\u201cWe tend to complicate the simple. Jesus simplified the complicated.\u201d The Pharisees and the rabbis came up with 613 different commands that they drew out of the Old Testament. Jesus comes along and says, \u201cBoys, I can get it down to two: \u2018Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength; and love your neighbor as you love yourself,\u2019\u201d\u2014is really\u2014\u201cIf you want to boil it down to one, it\u2019s called love\u201d; okay? We complicate the simple; Jesus simplified the complicated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing about living a godly life and being a person of character, if you will, early on, make two or three big decisions, the rest of the decisions just fall like dominoes. Too many people are making decisions too late in life; they\u2019re making them on the fly. You can\u2019t make great decisions on the fly; you cannot do it. There are certain decisions you\u2019ve got to make. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, early on, I decided\u2014and thank God I did\u2014I decided to follow the Billy Graham rule: so I don\u2019t counsel a woman alone; I don\u2019t meet with a woman alone. I can do that because I\u2019m a pastor. I understand\u2014I cut slack with the business world\u2014I\u2019m not judging anyone out there that your job may require some of those things; but for me, I\u2019ve just done that. Teresa knows I\u2019m just not going to put myself in any\u2014whether it\u2019s accidental or whatever\u2014I\u2019m just not going to put myself in that situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat big decision has saved me so many times. For example, I\u2019m on TV; so I get made up every Sunday morning before I go out and preach. My makeup lady knows the door is open. If I\u2019m in that green room alone, there are people going by. But that green room alone, it\u2019s like there\u2019s a force field; she cannot cross that threshold into that room until my sound guy comes in, who is mike-ing me up; or my production guy; or somebody. Somebody has to be in that room with us. That\u2019s a big decision I made, and it\u2019s paid off forever in my ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m guessing our listeners might remember this story, but it\u2019s so apropos to what you\u2019re saying is. What\u2019s it been now?\u201432\/33 years ago\u2014FamilyLife called us, Ann and I, and asked us to consider being a speaker for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways that we do. We actually went to it as an engaged couple, and this was ten years later; and now, we\u2019ve been married ten years. They have speakers that present the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. I mean, when we get the call, first of all, we\u2019re like, \u201cThey want <em>us<\/em> to consider it? Are you <em>kidding<\/em> me? This would be a phenomenal ministry\/phenomenal weekend.\u201d We\u2019re like, \u201cAh, I can\u2019t imagine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo part of the interview process was fly down to the headquarters, which at that time was in Little Rock, and have a meeting with Dennis Rainey, the president and founder of FamilyLife. We\u2019re on this plane, flying down there a few weeks later; and we are literally role playing: \u201cWhat\u2019s he going to ask?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s he going to ask?\u201d We\u2019re like: \u201cHe might ask this, so we\u2019ll answer this\u201d; because we want this job so bad, it\u2019s like we don\u2019t want to mess up this interview. We get to the headquarters. We walk around the building; we get into Dennis\u2019 office\u2014never met him before\u2014I just know who he is; he actually spoke at the marriage conference we went to ten years before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are\/I mean, we\u2019re <em>nervous<\/em>, like literally nervous. I want to make sure I answer these questions right, so we get this job. I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget it\u2014I mean, James, I\u2019m looking right across the table; it was just like this\u2014he\u2019s at his desk; I\u2019m sitting where you are. He looks across the table, and he goes, \u201cI just have one question.\u201d We look at each other like, \u201cJust one question?\u201d \u201cI just have one question.\u201d He looks straight at me\u2014and I\u2019m staring at you, because he would not take his eyes off my eyes\u2014and he goes, \u201cAre you clean?\u201d And I knew what clean meant\u2014sexually, pornography, integrity, financial, you name it\u2014\u201cAre you a man of character?\u201d is what he was asking me. I look right back at him; and I say, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes like this\u2014he turns and looks right at Ann\u2014he goes, \u201cIs he telling me the truth?\u201d And she goes, \u201cYes.\u201d He goes, \u201cOkay, you\u2019re good; you\u2019re in.\u201d We\u2019re like\u2014I\u2019ll never forget\u2014I go, \u201cWhat do you <em>mean<\/em> we\u2019re in?\u201d He goes, \u201cYes, you\u2019re on the team.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go, \u201cWell, am I a good enough speaker?\u201d Because, you know, we sent them cassette tapes; remember those?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James: <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014I\u2019m preaching, you know; he goes, \u201cEh, you\u2019re okay.\u201d He goes\u2014and I\u2019ll never forget; I thought it was all about ability, skill, standing on the stage and delivering the goods\u2014he looked at me and he goes, \u201cThis is not about speaking; this is about character. I need people standing on that stage, who are living the truths we are presenting about marriage; and if you\u2019re not clean, you can\u2019t be in this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cThat\u2019s what this was all about: <em>character<\/em>.\u201d That\u2019s what you\u2019re just saying; it\u2019s like: \u201cOh, my goodness, life is not about the outside.\u201d I\u2019m thinking of 1 Samuel 16: \u201cMan looks at the external or looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart.\u201d Character is about heart; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> You\u2019ll remember this: there was a tennis player named Andre Agassi.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> Andre Agassi did a series of commercials for Kodak<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or one of the camera companies. It was one of the most successful ad campaigns ever done; and the slogan is still used today: \u201cImage is everything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> That is so anti-biblical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> It\u2019s so ungodly. Image is <em>nothing<\/em> in the eyes of God. God even said, \u201cYou will have no graven image before me.\u201d Image is not everything; character is everything. It\u2019s what is inside that counts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we are living in a culture\u2014and we are living in a day and an age; you know this\u2014every person that ever runs for President, the number-one thing they cultivate is that image. They want that perfect picture with the flag in the background; it\u2019s all about image. There isn\u2019t a character element that\u2019s just indispensable to the leadership, whether it\u2019s in the church or whether it\u2019s\/you know, whatever it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a very sensitive topic, and I\u2019m going to be very careful how I walk around it. I\u2019m clean, and I could look you in the eye and not blink and tell you I\u2019m clean. But it is disheartening and discouraging, because we all get tarred with the same brush when pastors do fall\u2014when you find out\u2014\u201cYou mean you did this on Saturday night, and you got up and preached on Sunday morning?\u201d I mean, how do you do that?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong> \u2014I couldn\u2019t do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid could fall; I could fall; Dave, you could fall. King David\u2014a man after God\u2019s own heart\u2014we all can fall. That\u2019s why: \u201cLet him who stands take heed lest he fall.\u201d I\u2019m not saying I\u2019m above; that\u2019s why I guard myself. One of the things that has <em>hurt<\/em> the church, unfortunately, is the very place and people you would look for\u2014and just assume: \u201cOh, sure; they\u2019re clean. Sure, their character, their words, and their life go together,\u201d\u2014don\u2019t, and it hurts all of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> So many Christians, myself included, know how to give the right answers\/know how to talk a big game when it comes to <em>living<\/em> the Christian life. But sometimes our actual private life\u2014when nobody else is looking; when only God can see\u2014doesn\u2019t match what we <em>talk<\/em> about. That includes anybody who is a Christian, all the way up to pastors and spiritual leaders. \u201cMan looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart\u201d: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcharacter is the heart; character matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJames Merritt has written a book called <em>Character Still Counts: It Is Time to Restore Our Lasting Values<\/em>. We need to stop protecting our reputation and start building a life of character. This book that James Merritt has written is available in our FamilyLife Resource Center. If you wanted to pick up a copy, you could go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order your copy online; or you can give us a call at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCharacter counts, obviously, in our lives; but it also counts in the way that we pour into our children. Our guest coming up later this week is Jon Tyson. He\u2019s written a book called <em>The Intentional Father\u2014<\/em>a short practical book on how to help men raise their sons as men of character. This will be our gift to you if you log onto FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation of <em>any<\/em> amount. When you do, request Jon Tyson\u2019s, <em>The Intentional Father<\/em>; and we\u2019ll send you that copy\u2014again, any amount that you donate at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you could pick up the phone and give us a call at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Thanks, in advance, for your support; and we hope you enjoy the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing up, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear once again from James Merritt, who\u2019s going to talk about the value of loyalty in your marriage. It brings us a whole new level of love with our spouse. Dave and Ann Wilson will be talking with James Merritt tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307435"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307435"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307435"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307435"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}