{"id":307432,"date":"2022-03-10T08:02:06","date_gmt":"2022-03-10T13:02:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change\/"},"modified":"2022-03-10T08:02:06","modified_gmt":"2022-03-10T13:02:06","slug":"your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Story: The Parts You Wish You Could Change"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Could God flip your story&#8217;s worst chapters? Bestselling author Sharon Jaynes relays God&#8217;s transformation of parts of her story she&#8217;d wished weren&#8217;t there.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the Familylife&#8217;s on the FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Could God flip your story&#8217;s worst chapters? Bestselling author Sharon Jaynes relays God&#8217;s transformation of parts of her story she&#8217;d wished weren&#8217;t there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:01","filesize":"23.82M","filesize_raw":"24980518","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2873],"tags":[7050],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3227],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307432","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-your-story","cwp_profile-sharon-jaynes","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307432\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307432\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"c4Lx90evl9\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change\/\">Your Story: The Parts You Wish You Could Change<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-story-the-parts-you-wish-you-could-change\/embed\/#?secret=c4Lx90evl9\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Your Story: The Parts You Wish You Could Change&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"c4Lx90evl9\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alcoholism, abuse, pain, death, affairs,\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow; this sounds like a really exciting day. [Laughter] What are you talking about?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014lies\u2014that\u2019s your story growing up. Do you think you would have chosen a different story?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Of course! Are you kidding me?! You just described the worst miniseries on a program; you know? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It feels like your life was like a Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> movie gone bad.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alcoholism, death, affairs\u2014that\u2019s your story\u2014you know, it was <em>shattering<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I mean what is really crazy is, when I went back to that home in New Jersey\u2014a gated community; because my dad was an airline pilot, and we made a lot of money back then\u2014you would have looked back at that house and said, \u201cThat is a perfect family.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s picture perfect.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If you looked at a picture of our family, you would say, \u201cThat\u2019s the all-American family. That\u2019s the dream family\u201d; and nobody knew behind those doors was alcohol and girlfriends and then, after the divorce, the death of my little brother; I mean, it was: \u201cNo, I would have <em>never<\/em> chosen that life!\u201d But now, as I look back, I also can see how all of that pain developed me into the man I am today.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yet, you could have <em>stayed<\/em> in it\u2014and been so bitter and angry and even blamed God\u2014but you\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I did.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you feel like you did?!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, for <em>years<\/em>\/for decades, I blamed God for the whole thing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Now, do you blame God?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, I blame man. Those were the decisions that men made. I thank God that He got me through it and actually turned it into something pretty beautiful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is sort of what we are talking about today: how God can take a broken life and story and make something beautiful out of it.\n\nWe have Sharon Jaynes back with us today. She\u2019s been on FamilyLife before, so welcome back to FamilyLife in Orlando, Florida.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Thank you for having me.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you know how many times you\u2019ve been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I can\u2019t remember; I think it\u2019s four or five. I have to go back and look in the archives. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sharon, you have always been a treat for us\/for our listeners. You always bring a lot of wisdom, practicality, Scripture. This book, <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>\u2014the subtitle is <em>What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014when I hear that, I think, \u201cYes!\u201d All of us, listening to that, thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s what I want. Can it <em>become<\/em> my greatest victory?\u201d\n\nYou\u2019ve written a lot of books\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t know this: 25?!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I know!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re married. You have a son who is grown; but this is your passion, and you\u2019ve been speaking to women over the years. You helped found Proverbs 31 Women. This is something that really matters to you: of really helping women, especially.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> It really is a passion of mine; and when I go back and look at the titles of some of the books that I have written\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014in the past, you can see that there\u2019s a common theme of really helping women have a better story. I mean, there is the book called <em>Enough<\/em>: <em>Silencing the Lies That Steal Your Confidence<\/em>. Well, that\u2019s helping them have a better story right now by believing the truth of God. Each of the titles\u2014except the ones on marriage; well, those are helping women have a better marriage\u2014but it\u2019s helping women have a better story than the one they currently find themselves in.\n\nOr in this case, a lot of the book is talking about\u2014maybe, it\u2019s not your <em>whole<\/em> story you don\u2019t like\u2014but there are just certain chapters that you have in your story that you would love to rip out. What I\u2019m saying is those chapters, that a lot of times we want to rip out, are the very chapters that God wants to repurpose. Those are the ones He uses the <em>most<\/em> in our lives\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014and as you were saying, Dave, to make <em>you<\/em> a stronger person but to, also, help other people\u2014because it tells us in Scriptures that God comforts us in all of our afflictions <em>so that<\/em> we can comfort others with the comfort <em>that<\/em> we have received from God. Now, that is kind of a convoluted verse; but basically, it is saying that God comforts us to make us comfort <em>able<\/em>\u2014not to make us comfortable\u2014that\u2019s not really how this lists, in case you noticed; but to make us comfort <em>able<\/em>.\n\nWhen we can look at those difficult chapters, and all those places we\u2019d like to mark out, but God is highlighting. Those places that we have dog-eared and we just keep going back and back to that chapter to try to make sense of it all and say, \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d\u2014those are the very chapters that God will use the <em>most<\/em> in our lives to develop <em>us<\/em> and then turn around and help other people.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can\u2019t agree more. I remember\u2014I think we had just come out of a ten-year slump in our marriage\u2014and I remember listening to Chuck Swindoll on the radio. He said, \u201cGod will never allow, if you trust Him, your pain to be in vain.\u201d I can remember\u2014because of abuse in my background; because of our marriage that was really struggling\u2014I clung to that. I needed to know: \u201cIs this it? Is this my story?\u201d\u2014just one failure or one adverse situation after another.\n\nSo, as you <em>say<\/em> that, I had never thought at the time, that God could actually <em>use<\/em> that period of time to help other people. That is what we have done with our marriage, like, \u201cOh, let\u2019s tell people our story so that, maybe, they can find hope too.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I discovered\u2014as you write in your book, and I want to hear your story\u2014that the darkest parts of my life, where I thought God wasn\u2019t there, I find out He <em>was<\/em> there.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you want to <em>hide<\/em> those dark chapters.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. It\u2019s sort of like, \u201cNobody is ever going to hear that part\u201d; but then you go, like you said, to 2 Corinthians 1: \u201cThat God comforts us in those moments so that we\u201d\u2014I <em>love<\/em> how you said that\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014\u2026so <em>that<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ccomfort <em>able<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes, comfort able.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto help others.\u201d He actually uses our pain; and I think, in some ways, points us to our purpose in life because now I have a passion\u2014I always have\u2014for marriages\/for families staying together. Why?\u2014because I came out of one that <em>didn\u2019t<\/em>, and I want to help others.\n\nYou heard a bit of my story. What\u2019s <em>your<\/em> story?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Much like you, I was raised in a beautiful home. We lived in a little town in North Carolina on the eastern part of North Carolina\u2014a ranch-style home, very typical\u2014with two kids. We had a collie dog named\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014Lassie.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014Lassie; of course, a collie dog named Lassie. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, some listeners don\u2019t even know who Lassie is\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Okay; well\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because they missed that decade. That was the <em>best<\/em>, greatest dog on TV in the \u201860s and \u201870s.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Right; even though there were like 20 of them that played one little dog; but anyway, we had a collie dog named Lassie. My father had a successful business, and my mom had her own little shop. She owned a craft shop called The Bam Beetle and taught painting classes and little decoupage classes.\n\nBut there was a secret behind the door\u2014much like in your home\u2014that was that my father had a terrible drinking problem. Many times, when Dad would come home, he would come home drunk; and my parents would fight. I remember going to bed at night, and just pulling up the covers, and praying that I could hurry up and go to sleep so I could shut out the <em>noise<\/em> of what was going on in that next room. I remember, sometimes, I would get in my bed and pull the covers up. Sometimes, I would get up and turn a little key on the back of a jewelry box.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I had this little pink jewelry box\u2014turn the key, open the lid, a little ballerina would pop up\u2014remember those?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I tried to listen to that music to shut out that noise. Sometimes, I would go in my brother\u2019s room; and we would hide together.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And those were your earliest memories, growing up?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Those were my earliest memories. I don\u2019t remember anything before violence.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Violence is the first thing I remember.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How old were you?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019m thinking kindergarten is when I really start remembering. I don\u2019t remember a lot from before that, but what I do remember is scary. The next day, it was always the same; my dad would be at the kitchen table, crying\/saying, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I\u2019m so sorry. This will never happen again.\u201d Then my mom\/she would go into a period of passive aggressive silence; she would be silent for several weeks. My dad would say he was sorry; it wouldn\u2019t happen again. Then we\u2019d have a lull, and there would be peace in our home for a little while.\n\nBut it was just like\/kind of the Israelites rebellion cycle in the Old Testament. I could kind of <em>feel<\/em> it building back up again, and then it would be another explosion. It was like living on an earthquake fault line, just never knowing when that big one was going to hit; but it continued, and continued, and continued through my whole childhood.\n\nYou know, kids internalize this. I felt like\/I was so ashamed the next day, when my father was saying how sorry he was, and I would have to get my little lunchbox, and get dressed, and go sit in 1<sup>st<\/sup> grade and feel so ashamed, even though nobody knew that\u2014and thinking, \u201cMy family is <em>so wrong<\/em>. Something is wrong with my family, and something is wrong with <em>me<\/em>.\u201d\n\nWhen my mom would say\u2014listen, if you\u2019ve ever said this to your kids, don\u2019t feel badly about it. I\u2019m sure I\u2019ve said it to mine\u2014but when my mom would say, \u201cWhat is <em>wrong<\/em> with you?!\u201d to me\u2014I remember thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know, but there is <em>something<\/em> wrong with me,\u201d\u2014and grew up feeling that I wasn\u2019t good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough.\n\nSo all that violence and the alcohol\u2014there was pornography; there was gambling\u2014all that just put such a <em>shame<\/em> on me, as a little kid. I lived under that until I was about\n\n12 years old. There was a woman on the next street\u2014it was my best friend: a little red-headed Wanda\u2014it was her mom. I loved being down at the Henderson\u2019s home because they\u2014Mr. and Mrs. Henderson would hug and kiss; they had little pet names for each other\u2014I had never seen married people act like that before, and I <em>loved<\/em> being down there.\n\nListen, even though I was a terrified of my father, I still wanted a daddy who loved me; and I think <em>all<\/em> little girls want a daddy who loves them.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you love <em>him<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I was <em>terrified<\/em> of my father. I would not have said that I really loved my father. I <em>wanted<\/em> to have a father like Mr. Henderson.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I loved that <em>vision<\/em> of a father like him.\n\nI didn\u2019t know why that family was so different from mine; but I knew it had something to do with Jesus, because she would\/Mrs. Henderson would sing little praise songs about Jesus when she would clean the house.\n\nNow, listen, here is something I want you to know too. My family, as bad as we were\u2014with the alcohol, and the violence, pornography, the gambling\u2014we went to church on Sunday.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> We went to church on Sunday. We walked in, looking good\u2014every hair in place\u2014I remember my mom using sponge rollers on my hair the night before because we were going to look good. Then I started spending the night with the Hendersons, going to church with them on Sunday; and I began to see that there was a big difference between what we had and what <em>they<\/em> had. Now, I could not have verbalized it at\n\n12 years old; but what I was seeing was there is a big difference between having a religion in your life and having a relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\nThat woman took me under her wing, and she loved on me. I began to tell Wanda about what was going on in my home and then telling Mrs. Henderson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did anybody else know?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I think they suspected, because my mom would have a black eye. I mean, how many doors can you run into; you know?\u2014but pretty much kept it quiet. It was a small town, and he ran around. I\u2019m sure people knew that, but nobody talked about it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yet, you said it earlier\u2014it wasn\u2019t just that something was wrong with your family\u2014something was wrong with <em>you<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Absolutely; we need to know that children internalize that. When they see their parents yelling and screaming, and they might be terrified, they internalize that shame onto themselves. They feel like something is wrong with their family\u2014their family is <em>wrong<\/em> and that <em>they<\/em> are wrong\u2014that is how I felt. I didn\u2019t know that at the time; I mean, I couldn\u2019t have put that into words.\n\nBut after a couple of years of going to church with the Hendersons\u2014and she taught me about Jesus; and she started a Bible study in the neighborhood for teenagers\/we were young teens; and she talked to me about a heavenly Father who loved me\u2014when I was 14, I was spending the night with them. She asked me if I was ready to accept Jesus as my Savior.\n\nI want to say something here, too\u2014honestly, I was not the kind of girl I would have wanted my little girl to play with because\u2014I mean, there was a lot in me: there was a lot of anger in me, and I was really headed in a bad direction; but she took a chance on me, exposed her daughter to me, and ended up leading me to Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So what are you saying about that family?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying that, as a parent, sometimes, we may want to keep our kids <em>away<\/em> from certain kids\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to protect them.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014to protect them; but maybe, we ought to consider that, maybe, God has brought these certain kids in our lives so that we can love on them and show them that life can be different.\n\nYou know, when other kids come into <em>your<\/em> home, even now with your grown boys, and they are watching you, they say, \u201cLife can be different. This is what my family <em>could<\/em> be like.\u201d That\u2019s what I saw with them as she took that chance on me. I was saying, \u201cThis is what life could be like, and this is what I want. I want a family like <em>that<\/em>.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m telling you\u2014just what you are doing is\u2014you are preaching what we are saying at FamilyLife. Our homes make a difference. Each home on every corner\u2014when we are walking with Jesus, we reflect the Savior; people are drawn to that. As Dennis Rainey used to say and still does say: \u201cOur marriages in the future, and even right now, are the greatest evangelistic tool we can use\u201d; because, when people see a great marriage or a good family, they think, as you did Sharon, as a little girl: \u201cWhatever they have, I want that.\u201d\n\nWhen you <em>heard<\/em> the gospel\u2014when you heard that you had a heavenly Father\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, let me add this\u2014I\u2019d just love to add\u2014Mrs. Henderson, who I will never meet, had that vision, thinking, \u201cNot only is our house sort of a lighthouse, but God is going to bring people into our home that need what we have.\u201d She had that vision to be able to reach out to <em>you<\/em>.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> That is not the end of the story with Mrs. Henderson. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, so keep going.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, let\u2019s go!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, at 14, she tells you\/shares the gospel.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I become a Christian through this woman. But the problem was I had to go back home, of course, into that violent environment with all that went on behind that pretty door of that pretty house. But <em>now<\/em>, I\u2019ve got Jesus; and I\u2019ve got my group of 14-year-old friends that I\u2019m in a Bible study with, praying for my family. When you\u2019ve got teenagers on fire for Jesus, isn\u2019t it just fun to watch?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s a force.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I mean, it is a force. We were amazing, looking back on it. I can\u2019t even hardly believe how powerful we were at 14, but we prayed for my family.\n\nAnd then, I\u2019m going to fast forward. My parents thought that my excitement for religion\u2014they called it\u2014would wear off, but it didn\u2019t. I was still a teenager\u2014I still got on their nerves and all that teenagers do\u2014but we prayed for my family. When I was 17, I had an opportunity to go away for the summer; it was a foreign exchange program. I told my friends that I could not go because, by this time, I was the parent in the house. When they fought, I broke up the fights. My brother would leave; I would stay\/break up the fight. If I leave, who is my mom going to turn to?\n\nBut we continued to pray; and then my, now, 17-year-old friends\u2014that we\u2019ve been doing this journey for 3 years\u2014they said, \u201cWe really feel like you should go.\u201d I decided to go; and God was saying, \u201cWill you trust Me here?\u201d The night before I left, my friends came over. We prayed the blood of Jesus over my house, marched around my house. We were amazing.\n\nThe very night that I left, my dad came home drunk; and he started a fight with my mom. I wasn\u2019t there to help. She runs down to Mrs. Henderson\u2019s house; because I told her, \u201cMom, I\u2019m not here to help you. If something happens, you go down to see\n\nMrs. Henderson.\u201d That\u2019s exactly what she did; and that night, my mom gave <em>her<\/em> life to Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wow!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Come on!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> So that\u2019s step two for that story.\n\nListen, I would <em>never<\/em>, ever tell a woman, who is in an abusive relationship, to stay with a man who is abusing her\u2014just hear me saying that\u2014but my mom came home. She told my dad: \u201cI accepted Jesus tonight. I\u2019m going to follow Him, and I\u2019m going to forgive you for everything you\u2019ve done,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a long list. That night, forward, my father never drank again\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No way!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014stopped cold turkey.\n\nBut he said to her, \u201cI\u2019ll go to church with you; but I could never be a Christian, because there is too many things I\u2019ve done in my life. God could never forgive me.\u201d Now, this was back when there was no email; there was no internet; there were no cell phones. When I was away, I started getting letters that my parents were now going to the Bible-teaching church; and my dad was going to church, and they were holding hands. I thought, \u201cWhat am I going to come home to?\u201d\n\nBut when I did come home at the end of the summer, my dad said the same thing to me\u2014he said, \u201cI am going to go to church with you, but I <em>never<\/em> could be a Christian. God could <em>never<\/em> forgive me, because of all that I\u2019ve done. I could <em>never<\/em> be good enough,\u201d\u2014I said, \u201cDad, <em>none<\/em> of us could be good enough. If we could be good enough, then Jesus wouldn\u2019t have had to die on the cross\u201d; but He could not understand. Even though he quit drinking, some of those vices continued.\n\nLet me fast forward three more years: now, I\u2019ve got the teenage friends praying; my mom, in a Bible study\/she is praying.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The power of praying women!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Absolutely! I\u2019ve got a book on that, too:\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe<\/em>.\n\nYou know, I tell this story at the beginning; because this is the first example I saw of the power of a praying wife. Three years later, my father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he had left the company where he worked and gone to start another company that was in competition. There was a restrictive covenant; he was being sued and taken to court for, honestly, God only knew what.\n\nThis is what I want to say about this next part of this particular story\u2014is that, when it looks like everything is falling apart, things are really falling together\/God is putting the pieces together\u2014but my father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and he felt like he needed my mom. He got in his car\u2014because she was at a meeting in Pennsylvania\u2014got in his car; drove to Pennsylvania. He stopped by a church in Pennsylvania, because he couldn\u2019t find her. He said, \u201cI need the priest to pray for me.\u201d The secretary\u2014bless her heart\u2014said, \u201cHe is not here; but I know a pastor, a Baptist pastor, out in the woods, building his church.\u201d\n\nYou are laughing because you know, as soon as I say Baptist pastor\u2014so my dad\/he follows this map that she drew on a scratch piece of paper\u2014and he finds this man, building his church: hammer in his hand; Jesus in his heart. Dad says, \u201cI need you to pray for me.\u201d The man said, \u201cWell, tell me your story.\u201d\n\nFor the first time, my dad told somebody his story\u2014all of it\u2014and then the man put his arm around my dad; he said, \u201cNow, Alan, let me tell you my story.\u201d My dad said, \u201cEverything I\u2019d done in my life; this man had done too. I knew that if God could forgive him, and he could be a preacher, then He could forgive me.\u201d My dad accepted Jesus in the woods of Pennsylvania with a man I never will know. He became one of the sweetest men I\u2019ve known.\n\nBut let me ask you this.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re all in tears here\/of just the grace and the miraculous power of God.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Amen. But it\u2019s also the power of that man\u2019s story\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014because you know my father, when he went to church with us, and he said, \u201cI\u2019m too far gone,\u201d\u2014do you think there were other men in that church who had that story?\u2014maybe, not all of it, but parts of it\u2014but they <em>never<\/em> told it. God had to take him all the way to Pennsylvania\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to the woods.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014to find a man in the woods to tell him, \u201cI had that same story, and let me tell you what God did for me.\u201d That\u2019s the power of our story.\n\nYou know, it says in Revelation 12: \u201cThey overcame him\u201d\u2014talking about the devil\u2014\u201cThey overcame him by the blood of the Lamb\u201d\u2014and what?\u2014\u201c the word of their testimony.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201ctheir testimony.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>You think that your story\u2014and your story, Dave\u2014your story has so much power in it that it\u2019s in the same verse with the blood of the Lamb? No wonder the devil doesn\u2019t want you telling it! He wants us to be ashamed of it and to keep it quiet; but it\u2019s combining those two things\u2014the blood of the Lamb\/the word of our testimony\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> how people see Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and your whole ministry\u2014and really our ministry\u2014is birthed out of a broken story\/out of pain. It\u2019s exactly the title of your book\u2014<em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story: What If the Worst Chapters Could Be Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014those victories point to the Victor.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and give God glory.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m over here, tearing up; because my dad came to Christ later in his life too. You would think\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s <em>never<\/em> going to happen; God can\u2019t redeem,\u201d\u2014and God <em>always<\/em> does redeem. Beautiful!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thank you, Sharon; that was powerful. I can\u2019t wait; because we didn\u2019t yet touch on\u2014that\u2019s still part of you\u2014that thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with <em>me<\/em>?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we will get into more of that to think, \u201cHow do we heal the brokenness that we feel inside?\u201d\n\n<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Through a bad series of events that happened just two days ago, I remember looking into the sky and screaming, \u201cJesus, what are You doing?!\u201d out of anger. As I reflect on that kind of embarrassing part of my story\u2014even just recently\u2014that helps me to know that God is working in a <em>million<\/em> different ways that I am simply unable to see sometimes.\n\nAs Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Sharon Jaynes, she has reminded us that now is the time to stop picking at emotional scabs and start allowing God to heal our wounds: \u201cWhat does it look like to forgive others?\u201d \u201cWhat does it look like to use our story to break free of the shame of the past and see God work in the present?\u201d\n\nWe believe that the book that Sharon Jaynes has written\u2014called <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story: What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014we believe that this resource is incredibly valuable and could do much good work, not only in your life, but in the lives of others around you as well. That\u2019s why, when you head over to FamilyLifeToday.com, and make a donation of any amount, all this week, we want to send you a copy of Sharon Jaynes\u2019s book, <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>, as a way to say, \u201cThank you for contributing to the gospel efforts of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d Again, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation, and receive your copy of <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>; or you could pick up the phone and call us at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nIf this topic today, as we\u2019ve been talking with Sharon Jaynes, or any of our FamilyLife programs have been helpful for you, we\u2019d love for you to share today\u2019s podcast with a friend or a family member; and wherever you get your podcasts, it could really advance the gospel effort of what we are doing at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> if you would scroll down and rate and review us.\n\nNow, tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are going to be talking, once again, with Sharon Jaynes to help us get on the solutions side and heal the brokenness that we feel inside when we look at our stories. That is coming up tomorrow. We hope you can join us.\n\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776432323;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Could God flip your story's worst chapters? Bestselling author Sharon Jaynes relays God's transformation of parts of her story she'd wished weren't there.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-03-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alcoholism, abuse, pain, death, affairs,\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow; this sounds like a really exciting day. [Laughter] What are you talking about?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014lies\u2014that\u2019s your story growing up. Do you think you would have chosen a different story?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Of course! Are you kidding me?! You just described the worst miniseries on a program; you know? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It feels like your life was like a Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> movie gone bad.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Alcoholism, death, affairs\u2014that\u2019s your story\u2014you know, it was <em>shattering<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I mean what is really crazy is, when I went back to that home in New Jersey\u2014a gated community; because my dad was an airline pilot, and we made a lot of money back then\u2014you would have looked back at that house and said, \u201cThat is a perfect family.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s picture perfect.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If you looked at a picture of our family, you would say, \u201cThat\u2019s the all-American family. That\u2019s the dream family\u201d; and nobody knew behind those doors was alcohol and girlfriends and then, after the divorce, the death of my little brother; I mean, it was: \u201cNo, I would have <em>never<\/em> chosen that life!\u201d But now, as I look back, I also can see how all of that pain developed me into the man I am today.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yet, you could have <em>stayed<\/em> in it\u2014and been so bitter and angry and even blamed God\u2014but you\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I did.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you feel like you did?!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, for <em>years<\/em>\/for decades, I blamed God for the whole thing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Now, do you blame God?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, I blame man. Those were the decisions that men made. I thank God that He got me through it and actually turned it into something pretty beautiful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is sort of what we are talking about today: how God can take a broken life and story and make something beautiful out of it.\n\nWe have Sharon Jaynes back with us today. She\u2019s been on FamilyLife before, so welcome back to FamilyLife in Orlando, Florida.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Thank you for having me.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you know how many times you\u2019ve been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I can\u2019t remember; I think it\u2019s four or five. I have to go back and look in the archives. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sharon, you have always been a treat for us\/for our listeners. You always bring a lot of wisdom, practicality, Scripture. This book, <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>\u2014the subtitle is <em>What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014when I hear that, I think, \u201cYes!\u201d All of us, listening to that, thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s what I want. Can it <em>become<\/em> my greatest victory?\u201d\n\nYou\u2019ve written a lot of books\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t know this: 25?!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I know!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re married. You have a son who is grown; but this is your passion, and you\u2019ve been speaking to women over the years. You helped found Proverbs 31 Women. This is something that really matters to you: of really helping women, especially.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> It really is a passion of mine; and when I go back and look at the titles of some of the books that I have written\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014in the past, you can see that there\u2019s a common theme of really helping women have a better story. I mean, there is the book called <em>Enough<\/em>: <em>Silencing the Lies That Steal Your Confidence<\/em>. Well, that\u2019s helping them have a better story right now by believing the truth of God. Each of the titles\u2014except the ones on marriage; well, those are helping women have a better marriage\u2014but it\u2019s helping women have a better story than the one they currently find themselves in.\n\nOr in this case, a lot of the book is talking about\u2014maybe, it\u2019s not your <em>whole<\/em> story you don\u2019t like\u2014but there are just certain chapters that you have in your story that you would love to rip out. What I\u2019m saying is those chapters, that a lot of times we want to rip out, are the very chapters that God wants to repurpose. Those are the ones He uses the <em>most<\/em> in our lives\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014and as you were saying, Dave, to make <em>you<\/em> a stronger person but to, also, help other people\u2014because it tells us in Scriptures that God comforts us in all of our afflictions <em>so that<\/em> we can comfort others with the comfort <em>that<\/em> we have received from God. Now, that is kind of a convoluted verse; but basically, it is saying that God comforts us to make us comfort <em>able<\/em>\u2014not to make us comfortable\u2014that\u2019s not really how this lists, in case you noticed; but to make us comfort <em>able<\/em>.\n\nWhen we can look at those difficult chapters, and all those places we\u2019d like to mark out, but God is highlighting. Those places that we have dog-eared and we just keep going back and back to that chapter to try to make sense of it all and say, \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d\u2014those are the very chapters that God will use the <em>most<\/em> in our lives to develop <em>us<\/em> and then turn around and help other people.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can\u2019t agree more. I remember\u2014I think we had just come out of a ten-year slump in our marriage\u2014and I remember listening to Chuck Swindoll on the radio. He said, \u201cGod will never allow, if you trust Him, your pain to be in vain.\u201d I can remember\u2014because of abuse in my background; because of our marriage that was really struggling\u2014I clung to that. I needed to know: \u201cIs this it? Is this my story?\u201d\u2014just one failure or one adverse situation after another.\n\nSo, as you <em>say<\/em> that, I had never thought at the time, that God could actually <em>use<\/em> that period of time to help other people. That is what we have done with our marriage, like, \u201cOh, let\u2019s tell people our story so that, maybe, they can find hope too.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I discovered\u2014as you write in your book, and I want to hear your story\u2014that the darkest parts of my life, where I thought God wasn\u2019t there, I find out He <em>was<\/em> there.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you want to <em>hide<\/em> those dark chapters.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. It\u2019s sort of like, \u201cNobody is ever going to hear that part\u201d; but then you go, like you said, to 2 Corinthians 1: \u201cThat God comforts us in those moments so that we\u201d\u2014I <em>love<\/em> how you said that\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014\u2026so <em>that<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ccomfort <em>able<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes, comfort able.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto help others.\u201d He actually uses our pain; and I think, in some ways, points us to our purpose in life because now I have a passion\u2014I always have\u2014for marriages\/for families staying together. Why?\u2014because I came out of one that <em>didn\u2019t<\/em>, and I want to help others.\n\nYou heard a bit of my story. What\u2019s <em>your<\/em> story?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Much like you, I was raised in a beautiful home. We lived in a little town in North Carolina on the eastern part of North Carolina\u2014a ranch-style home, very typical\u2014with two kids. We had a collie dog named\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014Lassie.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014Lassie; of course, a collie dog named Lassie. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, some listeners don\u2019t even know who Lassie is\u2014\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Okay; well\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because they missed that decade. That was the <em>best<\/em>, greatest dog on TV in the \u201860s and \u201870s.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Right; even though there were like 20 of them that played one little dog; but anyway, we had a collie dog named Lassie. My father had a successful business, and my mom had her own little shop. She owned a craft shop called The Bam Beetle and taught painting classes and little decoupage classes.\n\nBut there was a secret behind the door\u2014much like in your home\u2014that was that my father had a terrible drinking problem. Many times, when Dad would come home, he would come home drunk; and my parents would fight. I remember going to bed at night, and just pulling up the covers, and praying that I could hurry up and go to sleep so I could shut out the <em>noise<\/em> of what was going on in that next room. I remember, sometimes, I would get in my bed and pull the covers up. Sometimes, I would get up and turn a little key on the back of a jewelry box.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I had this little pink jewelry box\u2014turn the key, open the lid, a little ballerina would pop up\u2014remember those?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I tried to listen to that music to shut out that noise. Sometimes, I would go in my brother\u2019s room; and we would hide together.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And those were your earliest memories, growing up?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Those were my earliest memories. I don\u2019t remember anything before violence.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Violence is the first thing I remember.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How old were you?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019m thinking kindergarten is when I really start remembering. I don\u2019t remember a lot from before that, but what I do remember is scary. The next day, it was always the same; my dad would be at the kitchen table, crying\/saying, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I\u2019m so sorry. This will never happen again.\u201d Then my mom\/she would go into a period of passive aggressive silence; she would be silent for several weeks. My dad would say he was sorry; it wouldn\u2019t happen again. Then we\u2019d have a lull, and there would be peace in our home for a little while.\n\nBut it was just like\/kind of the Israelites rebellion cycle in the Old Testament. I could kind of <em>feel<\/em> it building back up again, and then it would be another explosion. It was like living on an earthquake fault line, just never knowing when that big one was going to hit; but it continued, and continued, and continued through my whole childhood.\n\nYou know, kids internalize this. I felt like\/I was so ashamed the next day, when my father was saying how sorry he was, and I would have to get my little lunchbox, and get dressed, and go sit in 1<sup>st<\/sup> grade and feel so ashamed, even though nobody knew that\u2014and thinking, \u201cMy family is <em>so wrong<\/em>. Something is wrong with my family, and something is wrong with <em>me<\/em>.\u201d\n\nWhen my mom would say\u2014listen, if you\u2019ve ever said this to your kids, don\u2019t feel badly about it. I\u2019m sure I\u2019ve said it to mine\u2014but when my mom would say, \u201cWhat is <em>wrong<\/em> with you?!\u201d to me\u2014I remember thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know, but there is <em>something<\/em> wrong with me,\u201d\u2014and grew up feeling that I wasn\u2019t good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough.\n\nSo all that violence and the alcohol\u2014there was pornography; there was gambling\u2014all that just put such a <em>shame<\/em> on me, as a little kid. I lived under that until I was about\n\n12 years old. There was a woman on the next street\u2014it was my best friend: a little red-headed Wanda\u2014it was her mom. I loved being down at the Henderson\u2019s home because they\u2014Mr. and Mrs. Henderson would hug and kiss; they had little pet names for each other\u2014I had never seen married people act like that before, and I <em>loved<\/em> being down there.\n\nListen, even though I was a terrified of my father, I still wanted a daddy who loved me; and I think <em>all<\/em> little girls want a daddy who loves them.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you love <em>him<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I was <em>terrified<\/em> of my father. I would not have said that I really loved my father. I <em>wanted<\/em> to have a father like Mr. Henderson.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I loved that <em>vision<\/em> of a father like him.\n\nI didn\u2019t know why that family was so different from mine; but I knew it had something to do with Jesus, because she would\/Mrs. Henderson would sing little praise songs about Jesus when she would clean the house.\n\nNow, listen, here is something I want you to know too. My family, as bad as we were\u2014with the alcohol, and the violence, pornography, the gambling\u2014we went to church on Sunday.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> We went to church on Sunday. We walked in, looking good\u2014every hair in place\u2014I remember my mom using sponge rollers on my hair the night before because we were going to look good. Then I started spending the night with the Hendersons, going to church with them on Sunday; and I began to see that there was a big difference between what we had and what <em>they<\/em> had. Now, I could not have verbalized it at\n\n12 years old; but what I was seeing was there is a big difference between having a religion in your life and having a relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\nThat woman took me under her wing, and she loved on me. I began to tell Wanda about what was going on in my home and then telling Mrs. Henderson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did anybody else know?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I think they suspected, because my mom would have a black eye. I mean, how many doors can you run into; you know?\u2014but pretty much kept it quiet. It was a small town, and he ran around. I\u2019m sure people knew that, but nobody talked about it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yet, you said it earlier\u2014it wasn\u2019t just that something was wrong with your family\u2014something was wrong with <em>you<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Absolutely; we need to know that children internalize that. When they see their parents yelling and screaming, and they might be terrified, they internalize that shame onto themselves. They feel like something is wrong with their family\u2014their family is <em>wrong<\/em> and that <em>they<\/em> are wrong\u2014that is how I felt. I didn\u2019t know that at the time; I mean, I couldn\u2019t have put that into words.\n\nBut after a couple of years of going to church with the Hendersons\u2014and she taught me about Jesus; and she started a Bible study in the neighborhood for teenagers\/we were young teens; and she talked to me about a heavenly Father who loved me\u2014when I was 14, I was spending the night with them. She asked me if I was ready to accept Jesus as my Savior.\n\nI want to say something here, too\u2014honestly, I was not the kind of girl I would have wanted my little girl to play with because\u2014I mean, there was a lot in me: there was a lot of anger in me, and I was really headed in a bad direction; but she took a chance on me, exposed her daughter to me, and ended up leading me to Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So what are you saying about that family?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying that, as a parent, sometimes, we may want to keep our kids <em>away<\/em> from certain kids\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to protect them.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014to protect them; but maybe, we ought to consider that, maybe, God has brought these certain kids in our lives so that we can love on them and show them that life can be different.\n\nYou know, when other kids come into <em>your<\/em> home, even now with your grown boys, and they are watching you, they say, \u201cLife can be different. This is what my family <em>could<\/em> be like.\u201d That\u2019s what I saw with them as she took that chance on me. I was saying, \u201cThis is what life could be like, and this is what I want. I want a family like <em>that<\/em>.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m telling you\u2014just what you are doing is\u2014you are preaching what we are saying at FamilyLife. Our homes make a difference. Each home on every corner\u2014when we are walking with Jesus, we reflect the Savior; people are drawn to that. As Dennis Rainey used to say and still does say: \u201cOur marriages in the future, and even right now, are the greatest evangelistic tool we can use\u201d; because, when people see a great marriage or a good family, they think, as you did Sharon, as a little girl: \u201cWhatever they have, I want that.\u201d\n\nWhen you <em>heard<\/em> the gospel\u2014when you heard that you had a heavenly Father\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, let me add this\u2014I\u2019d just love to add\u2014Mrs. Henderson, who I will never meet, had that vision, thinking, \u201cNot only is our house sort of a lighthouse, but God is going to bring people into our home that need what we have.\u201d She had that vision to be able to reach out to <em>you<\/em>.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> That is not the end of the story with Mrs. Henderson. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, so keep going.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, let\u2019s go!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, at 14, she tells you\/shares the gospel.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I become a Christian through this woman. But the problem was I had to go back home, of course, into that violent environment with all that went on behind that pretty door of that pretty house. But <em>now<\/em>, I\u2019ve got Jesus; and I\u2019ve got my group of 14-year-old friends that I\u2019m in a Bible study with, praying for my family. When you\u2019ve got teenagers on fire for Jesus, isn\u2019t it just fun to watch?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s a force.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I mean, it is a force. We were amazing, looking back on it. I can\u2019t even hardly believe how powerful we were at 14, but we prayed for my family.\n\nAnd then, I\u2019m going to fast forward. My parents thought that my excitement for religion\u2014they called it\u2014would wear off, but it didn\u2019t. I was still a teenager\u2014I still got on their nerves and all that teenagers do\u2014but we prayed for my family. When I was 17, I had an opportunity to go away for the summer; it was a foreign exchange program. I told my friends that I could not go because, by this time, I was the parent in the house. When they fought, I broke up the fights. My brother would leave; I would stay\/break up the fight. If I leave, who is my mom going to turn to?\n\nBut we continued to pray; and then my, now, 17-year-old friends\u2014that we\u2019ve been doing this journey for 3 years\u2014they said, \u201cWe really feel like you should go.\u201d I decided to go; and God was saying, \u201cWill you trust Me here?\u201d The night before I left, my friends came over. We prayed the blood of Jesus over my house, marched around my house. We were amazing.\n\nThe very night that I left, my dad came home drunk; and he started a fight with my mom. I wasn\u2019t there to help. She runs down to Mrs. Henderson\u2019s house; because I told her, \u201cMom, I\u2019m not here to help you. If something happens, you go down to see\n\nMrs. Henderson.\u201d That\u2019s exactly what she did; and that night, my mom gave <em>her<\/em> life to Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wow!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Come on!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> So that\u2019s step two for that story.\n\nListen, I would <em>never<\/em>, ever tell a woman, who is in an abusive relationship, to stay with a man who is abusing her\u2014just hear me saying that\u2014but my mom came home. She told my dad: \u201cI accepted Jesus tonight. I\u2019m going to follow Him, and I\u2019m going to forgive you for everything you\u2019ve done,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a long list. That night, forward, my father never drank again\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No way!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014stopped cold turkey.\n\nBut he said to her, \u201cI\u2019ll go to church with you; but I could never be a Christian, because there is too many things I\u2019ve done in my life. God could never forgive me.\u201d Now, this was back when there was no email; there was no internet; there were no cell phones. When I was away, I started getting letters that my parents were now going to the Bible-teaching church; and my dad was going to church, and they were holding hands. I thought, \u201cWhat am I going to come home to?\u201d\n\nBut when I did come home at the end of the summer, my dad said the same thing to me\u2014he said, \u201cI am going to go to church with you, but I <em>never<\/em> could be a Christian. God could <em>never<\/em> forgive me, because of all that I\u2019ve done. I could <em>never<\/em> be good enough,\u201d\u2014I said, \u201cDad, <em>none<\/em> of us could be good enough. If we could be good enough, then Jesus wouldn\u2019t have had to die on the cross\u201d; but He could not understand. Even though he quit drinking, some of those vices continued.\n\nLet me fast forward three more years: now, I\u2019ve got the teenage friends praying; my mom, in a Bible study\/she is praying.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The power of praying women!\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Absolutely! I\u2019ve got a book on that, too:\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe<\/em>.\n\nYou know, I tell this story at the beginning; because this is the first example I saw of the power of a praying wife. Three years later, my father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he had left the company where he worked and gone to start another company that was in competition. There was a restrictive covenant; he was being sued and taken to court for, honestly, God only knew what.\n\nThis is what I want to say about this next part of this particular story\u2014is that, when it looks like everything is falling apart, things are really falling together\/God is putting the pieces together\u2014but my father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and he felt like he needed my mom. He got in his car\u2014because she was at a meeting in Pennsylvania\u2014got in his car; drove to Pennsylvania. He stopped by a church in Pennsylvania, because he couldn\u2019t find her. He said, \u201cI need the priest to pray for me.\u201d The secretary\u2014bless her heart\u2014said, \u201cHe is not here; but I know a pastor, a Baptist pastor, out in the woods, building his church.\u201d\n\nYou are laughing because you know, as soon as I say Baptist pastor\u2014so my dad\/he follows this map that she drew on a scratch piece of paper\u2014and he finds this man, building his church: hammer in his hand; Jesus in his heart. Dad says, \u201cI need you to pray for me.\u201d The man said, \u201cWell, tell me your story.\u201d\n\nFor the first time, my dad told somebody his story\u2014all of it\u2014and then the man put his arm around my dad; he said, \u201cNow, Alan, let me tell you my story.\u201d My dad said, \u201cEverything I\u2019d done in my life; this man had done too. I knew that if God could forgive him, and he could be a preacher, then He could forgive me.\u201d My dad accepted Jesus in the woods of Pennsylvania with a man I never will know. He became one of the sweetest men I\u2019ve known.\n\nBut let me ask you this.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re all in tears here\/of just the grace and the miraculous power of God.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Amen. But it\u2019s also the power of that man\u2019s story\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014because you know my father, when he went to church with us, and he said, \u201cI\u2019m too far gone,\u201d\u2014do you think there were other men in that church who had that story?\u2014maybe, not all of it, but parts of it\u2014but they <em>never<\/em> told it. God had to take him all the way to Pennsylvania\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to the woods.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014to find a man in the woods to tell him, \u201cI had that same story, and let me tell you what God did for me.\u201d That\u2019s the power of our story.\n\nYou know, it says in Revelation 12: \u201cThey overcame him\u201d\u2014talking about the devil\u2014\u201cThey overcame him by the blood of the Lamb\u201d\u2014and what?\u2014\u201c the word of their testimony.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201ctheir testimony.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>You think that your story\u2014and your story, Dave\u2014your story has so much power in it that it\u2019s in the same verse with the blood of the Lamb? No wonder the devil doesn\u2019t want you telling it! He wants us to be ashamed of it and to keep it quiet; but it\u2019s combining those two things\u2014the blood of the Lamb\/the word of our testimony\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> how people see Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and your whole ministry\u2014and really our ministry\u2014is birthed out of a broken story\/out of pain. It\u2019s exactly the title of your book\u2014<em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story: What If the Worst Chapters Could Be Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014those victories point to the Victor.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and give God glory.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m over here, tearing up; because my dad came to Christ later in his life too. You would think\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s <em>never<\/em> going to happen; God can\u2019t redeem,\u201d\u2014and God <em>always<\/em> does redeem. Beautiful!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thank you, Sharon; that was powerful. I can\u2019t wait; because we didn\u2019t yet touch on\u2014that\u2019s still part of you\u2014that thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with <em>me<\/em>?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we will get into more of that to think, \u201cHow do we heal the brokenness that we feel inside?\u201d\n\n<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Through a bad series of events that happened just two days ago, I remember looking into the sky and screaming, \u201cJesus, what are You doing?!\u201d out of anger. As I reflect on that kind of embarrassing part of my story\u2014even just recently\u2014that helps me to know that God is working in a <em>million<\/em> different ways that I am simply unable to see sometimes.\n\nAs Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Sharon Jaynes, she has reminded us that now is the time to stop picking at emotional scabs and start allowing God to heal our wounds: \u201cWhat does it look like to forgive others?\u201d \u201cWhat does it look like to use our story to break free of the shame of the past and see God work in the present?\u201d\n\nWe believe that the book that Sharon Jaynes has written\u2014called <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story: What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories?<\/em>\u2014we believe that this resource is incredibly valuable and could do much good work, not only in your life, but in the lives of others around you as well. That\u2019s why, when you head over to FamilyLifeToday.com, and make a donation of any amount, all this week, we want to send you a copy of Sharon Jaynes\u2019s book, <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>, as a way to say, \u201cThank you for contributing to the gospel efforts of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d Again, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation, and receive your copy of <em>When You Don\u2019t Like Your Story<\/em>; or you could pick up the phone and call us at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nIf this topic today, as we\u2019ve been talking with Sharon Jaynes, or any of our FamilyLife programs have been helpful for you, we\u2019d love for you to share today\u2019s podcast with a friend or a family member; and wherever you get your podcasts, it could really advance the gospel effort of what we are doing at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> if you would scroll down and rate and review us.\n\nNow, tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are going to be talking, once again, with Sharon Jaynes to help us get on the solutions side and heal the brokenness that we feel inside when we look at our stories. That is coming up tomorrow. We hope you can join us.\n\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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