{"id":307401,"date":"2022-02-11T08:03:20","date_gmt":"2022-02-11T13:03:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out\/"},"modified":"2022-02-11T08:03:20","modified_gmt":"2022-02-11T13:03:20","slug":"addicted-to-porn-this-way-out","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Addicted to Porn? This Way Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Escaping the prison of pornography IS possible! On FamilyLife Today, author Ray Ortlund inspires listeners to hold fast to the truth and have genuine hope for the future!<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the Familylife&#8217;s on the FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Addiction to porn can feel &#8212; hopeless. But author Ray Ortlund reminds us God meets us in our moments of deepest shame to offer freedom for a lifetime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-11.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:01","filesize":"25.65M","filesize_raw":"26899747","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2844,2827],"tags":[5943],"podcast_series":[8503],"cwp_profile":[9452],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307401","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pornography","category-repentance","tag-addicted-to-porn","podcast_series-the-death-of-porn","cwp_profile-ray-ortlund","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307401\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307401\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1kL13j6xqe\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out\/\">Addicted to Porn? This Way Out<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/addicted-to-porn-this-way-out\/embed\/#?secret=1kL13j6xqe\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Addicted to Porn? This Way Out&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1kL13j6xqe\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-11.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-11.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Porn will not go away until using porn\/consuming porn becomes unthinkable.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right now, we all know it is kind of bad; but it\u2019s not yet <em>unthinkable<\/em>. When we see women for who they really are, that\u2019s when the needle moves; and it gets re-categorized in our minds to something <em>horrible<\/em>. That\u2019s when we\u2019ll see a change.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ray Ortlund is sitting in the studio with us. By the way, let me say, welcome back, Ray.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s a privilege to be with you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Glad to have you back. I mean, you flew in from Nashville, where you\u2019ve pastored a church there for years. I mean, I don\u2019t remember; how many grandkids?\u201414?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Fourteen.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s crazy.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> They are wonderful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Four kids and fourteen grandchildren.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How many years married, by the way?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> You know, it will be 50 years this year.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Congrats!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big one. What are you doing special? You\u2019ve got to do something.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> We\u2019re flying in the whole family to Nashville to spend some time at the Opryland.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s fun; at the hotel right there?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re going to have a <em>blast<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s going to be great; that\u2019s awesome.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s so fun.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Not only have you pastored a church, you\u2019ve written. We joked on the last one that you wrote the ESV Bible; [Laughter] you were a translator on it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He helped translate it.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014a translator.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; exactly, which is a pretty amazing\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014honor.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014honor to think\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And a <em>weighty<\/em> responsibility.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that what you are translating is going to be read as the Word of God. That\u2019s <em>heavy<\/em>.\n\nBut here is what happened: so we\u2019re driving in here today; and Ann goes, \u201cHey, let me read you what I was inspired by from reading your [Ray\u2019s] book, <em>The Death of Porn<\/em>\u201d; and I said, \u201cOkay!\u201d By the time we got here to the studio, I am in tears. This is powerful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I didn\u2019t have any intention of reading it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, when I heard it, I\u2019m like, \u201cYou\u2019re reading it on air.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But as I read your book, Ray, I was inspired because you cast this vision of: \u201cWhat would it look like if we eradicated porn?\u201d I wrote this last night as I was just kind of putting my thoughts together. I just said:\n\nLet me speak for myself on behalf of millions of other wives, sisters, mothers, and grandmothers. We are <em>mad<\/em>. Underneath our anger is fear that porn is taking out our amazing and godly men. It started as magazines and then movies; but it felt far away from the shelter of our homes. Today, it is not only in our homes, and on our TVs, and computers; but now, it is available to every single person with a cell phone and internet.\n\nIt is stealing our men\/our sons. It\u2019s paralyzing them, shaming these godly gifted heroes. Now, more than ever, it is capturing the hearts of our <em>daughters<\/em> as well. It is destroying our faith, our fathers, and our families. We don\u2019t know how to help or what to do. So let us together stand up and fight for our men and families by calling upon the only One that can set the captives free.\n\nLet us go to battle on our knees, asking King Jesus to fight for us and for those we love. And let there be a cry and a roar that rocks the heavens. This is our Goliath of the day. Let us call upon the name of the Lord. What would it look like for all of us, as women, to pray, maybe, every single Friday at noon that porn and this hideous industry would be eradicated and our men and our daughters would be set free by Jesus to become all that He created them to be?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, my! I\u2019ll give my life to that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! It is a war; it is a battle. Maybe, it starts with prayer. For women, we can do that; because we feel lost as we watch, as you call it, our men lose the sparkle in their eye; and they become hollow. We see it, and we feel helpless as women. I know that we can, at least, be praying.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Here is where I move all my chips over onto the resurrection of Christ.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I believe Jesus, the risen Jesus, is today sprinting through this world, saving people left and right, and having a <em>blast<\/em> doing so. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love this!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I totally believe that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And let\u2019s dare to have that hope in our hearts: that confidence; that conviction. We see the evils, and they are disheartening\u2014they are terrifying\u2014but we turn our eyes to the Lord; and we say, \u201cOkay; let\u2019s build homes, where the tone is confidence in the risen Christ\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand hope.\u201d I quote from <em>The Shawshank Redemption<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s one of our <em>favorite<\/em> movies.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Love that movie. Every time I\u2019m flipping around and it is on, I just stop; I\u2019ve just got to watch it again.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Do you guys remember the scene, where Andy goes into the office of the warden and locks the door, and he turns on the record player?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> He puts on records of opera.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> It goes out over the loud speakers into the prison yard. Red speaks; he says this: \u201cI have no idea, to this day, what them two Italian ladies were singing about. [Laughter] I like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can\u2019t be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared higher and father than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away. And for the briefest of moments, every last man at Shawshank felt free.\u201d That\u2019s what hope does.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> The music of the gospel comes into the prison camp of this world, where everybody is wondering, \u201cHow do I even <em>survive<\/em> this?\u201d\u2014and the music of the gospel comes in\u2014the risen Christ speaking to us through the gospel, bringing hope, bringing energy, bringing joy in life again; and prisoners start coming alive. We want that to happen in our homes; we want our kids to experience that. We want that to happen in our churches. We want it to bleed out into our cities. We want to see a <em>movement<\/em> of hope. Evil doesn\u2019t stand a chance; evil is secondary and parasitic. It\u2019s not primary and original. Evil is the ultimate wannabe. [Laughter] And it cannot <em>endure<\/em> the presence of hope in the risen Christ, so <em>that\u2019s<\/em> what we want to unleash.\n\nPorn is not the issue. Despair is the issue. The battle against porn is a battle for hope; and when men and women, dads and moms, and kids have hope burning in their hearts\u2014man!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When you said, \u201cJesus is sprinting,\u201d I just started smiling, like, \u201cYes! That\u2019s what\u2019s happening.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s not wringing His hands.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But we don\u2019t always have that inspiration in our heart; we\u2019re like, \u201cUh; is He? It doesn\u2019t look like it\u201d; you know?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> What\u2019s really going on in the world is the unreported story of Jesus reaching down into the low places, and the dark places, the places of despair, and failure, and betrayal, and pain, and anguish, and regret, and wishing for do-overs; that\u2019s where Jesus loves to go.\n\nSo what happens when we get together\u2014Dave, you and I for example\u2014if we got together for coffee, you would bring something of that spark of hope to me. I would bring something of that spark of hope to you; and somehow in God\u2019s mercy and grace, the collision of your little hope with my little hope would erupt into something bigger. It\u2019s not 2 + 2 is 4; it\u2019s 2 + 2 is 1,000.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That\u2019s what happens\u2014I can\u2019t account for that\u2014but getting together makes everything exponentially better.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, talk to the women, who are married to these guys. Their men have no friends: zero.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Wow.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So they are like, \u201cMy husband needs somebody. I\u2019m his only friend.\u201d I\u2019ve heard so many women come to me; and I\u2019m encouraging, \u201cOh, yes; he <em>needs<\/em> men. That\u2019s why we need the church. We need to gather ourselves together.\u201d How would you guys encourage those women? I mean, do we just pray about that?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> How does a magnificent, godly wife facilitate a better marriage? This is a perennial question. [Laughter] My poor wife is married to me\u2014I don\u2019t know how she does it\u2014well, sometimes, I wish this weren\u2019t true\u2014but it is\u2014we just need to fail badly enough that we can\u2019t deny it anymore. We can\u2019t hide: \u201cI wish it were better,\u201d \u201cI wish there were another way.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> But I remember, for example, one time, when we had been married for seven years. I was working <em>crazy hard<\/em>, <em>way too hard<\/em>. I was neglecting my wife and children.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve gone through that phase.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been there.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Okay; well, you know what I mean.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Jani was <em>incredibly<\/em> wise. I mean, this was not one episode; this was a whole life pattern that I was establishing, and I was oblivious to it. I was the only one not seeing it. Jani and I sat down; we had a talk. Because she did not yell, and scream, and freak out\u2014because she was so gentle, and understated, and respectful, and kind\u2014I didn\u2019t see it coming; I didn\u2019t have time to duck. [Laughter]\n\nShe said to me, \u201cRay, the children and I\u2014we will always love you\u2014we\u2019re not sure we will always have you.\u201d Immediately, I <em>knew<\/em> she was right. I knew her point was valid and relevant, and it was <em>true<\/em>. I needed to hear that, and it <em>worked<\/em>.\n\nMy wife rebuked me\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014gently.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014gently, and it <em>worked<\/em>. She leveled with me; she was honest with me; she treated me with respect. She respected me enough to tell me the truth and to help me see where this was going without threats. In that moment\u2014it was a moment of grace\u2014it was a divine moment in our marriage when my wife rebuked me; and I realized, \u201cIt is time for me to change.\u201d\n\nYou know, that was one of the great moments in our marriage. We\u2019ve had great moments of romance, and joy, and profound affection, and so forth; but that moment of kind of a piercing sorrow\u2014that was <em>great<\/em> moment\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014the Lord was in that.\n\nSo a young wife, who is worried about her husband, can pray: \u201cLord, prepare me for that painful great moment when this falls apart. Help me get ready to be a faithful, wise wife when my husband hits the wall.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s helpful.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hey, Ray, what would you say to\u2014you know, we are both in the older generation\u2014what would you say to the younger Ray in his 30s\/40s? You know, they are listening right now, hopefully; and we get the chance, as someone who has been there\u2014two grandpas in the room and a grandmother\u2014to say, \u201cWhat would I say to myself?\u201d What would you say to the younger man, who is on that?\u2014we don\u2019t see it when we\u2019re doing it; but man, we are <em>obsessed<\/em> with building our kingdom; and hopefully, His kingdom\u2014but we are obsessed with it.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019ve come to realize that the most evil part of me, commonly, feels good. It doesn\u2019t feel evil; it\u2019s a spirit of self-assurance: \u201cI\u2019ve got this; I just know.\u201d That is actually very destructive, and I spent too much time there in my 20s and 30s. My dear wife found a box of prayers she had written from the \u201870s the other day. I really had not realized what a pain in the neck I was, and she just hung in there with me.\n\nGuys, now, we just have this crazy, wonderful marriage\u2014right?\u2014we are just giddy in love with each other. But I give her so much credit for being a serious woman of God, who stood by her vows to God on her wedding day, and just kept praying for me; and then God gave me moments of confrontation, and failure, and self-discovery along the way. Little by little, I grew up. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the things you do in the book is you reintroduce the characters when you talk about the death of porn. Again, didn\u2019t see that coming; but do you feel like, when we are young men\u201430s\/40s\u2014and we\u2019re racing forward, do you think porn becomes an escape?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, actually, I wrote this book, as you pointed out Dave, in the form of a series of letters\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cDear Son\u2026\u201d because I wrote it for one guy, who was a composite portrait of these <em>hundreds<\/em> of guys I\u2019ve been interacting with through the years, these magnificent young men. I gave him a name; his name is Jake. I wrote the book for Jake; I think that\u2019s a cool name. [Laughter] If I could choose my own name, it might be Jake.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Jake?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right. I don\u2019t really like Ray, but Jake is cool. So I wrote this for Jake. Let me tell you about him: he is just a <em>great<\/em> guy; you would <em>love<\/em> him. He is a lot of fun; he\u2019s in his early 30s, married, a couple of kids, working hard. He\u2019s on an upward career path. Things are going pretty well. He goes to church once\/twice a month. He\u2019s not involved in anything <em>bad<\/em>; there is a lot of good about his life. He\u2019s got this sidebar of porn use. He doesn\u2019t feel good about it; he\u2019s not proud of it, but he\u2019s not worried about it either. There are so many guys like that.\n\nWhat Jake doesn\u2019t realize is this: ten years from now, there is a good chance he will be divorced. Twenty years from now, there is a good chance his kids won\u2019t respect him and might not even be talking to him. Thirty years from now, Jake might not even believe in God. He doesn\u2019t see it coming, because what he is making an allowance for is metastasizing into the depths of his being.\n\nI care about Jake. I care about his future, and I care about his wife and his kids. I think he can still have a <em>great<\/em> life. He can let go of this above-average existence, settling for that, and he can become a formidable man of God\u2014but he has got to turn against that porn that he is making an allowance for\u2014and believe in his own magnificence, created in the image of God; see his wife with new eyes\u2014her royalty, her magnificence\u2014his children\u2014everybody around him. He is living in a world filled with <em>wonder<\/em>; he doesn\u2019t see it. He doesn\u2019t see the path that he is actually on.\n\nI wrote this to help Jake see a new Jake, a new reality, a whole new life, a new future. I want to help that guy get there into a <em>great<\/em> life.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> [Emotion in voice] I just want to cry; it\u2019s so inspiring. It\u2019s what we <em>all<\/em> want.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think, as I started reading it, you start with: \u201cYou Are Royalty\u201d\u2014talking to Jake, which is every man\u2014then you say, \u201cShe Is Royalty.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, the Bible is very clear\u2014Genesis 1:27\u2014\u201cSo God created man in His image. In the image of God, He created them. Male and female He created them.\u201d Now, there are other creation accounts from the ancient world. For example, the Babylonians had their own sort of version\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014of Genesis 1. In the Babylonian creation account, we are not created in the image of God; the creation of the woman isn\u2019t even mentioned. But in Genesis 1 and 2, everybody is.\n\nIn Babylonian mythology, it was only the king who was in the image of God, and the elite was in the image of God. The Bible democratizes the image of God\u2014gives it to <em>everybody<\/em> who is human\u2014<em>and<\/em> the climax of the creation account in Chapter 2 of Genesis is the creation of the woman; she is the <em>hero<\/em> of the story. [Laughter] In the Babylonian version, she\u2019s just assumed. In the biblical version, she\u2019s <em>celebrated<\/em>. The Bible really gives us new eyes to see how <em>magnificent<\/em> a woman is.\n\nFor example, I love this in <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em> by J.R.R. Tolkien\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of my favorites.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, yes; Galadriel, the elvish queen, wants to give each member of the fellowship a parting gift, everything sort of noble and wonderful. She asks Gimli the dwarf what he wants; and he says, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t dare ask anything.\u201d\n\nShe\u2019s surprised; he\u2019s very humble, you know; but she urges him to go ahead and dare to make a request of her. He says, \u201cThere is nothing Lady Galadriel,\u201d said Gimli bowing low and stammering, \u201cNothing unless I might be permitted to ask to name a single strand of your hair, which surpasses the gold of the earth, as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift, but you commanded me to name my desire.\u201d The other elves that are looking on are like: \u201cNo way! Did he just ask that? Did he say that?\u201d [Laughter]\n\nGaladriel says, \u201cNone have ever made me so a bold a request and yet so courteous. How shall I refuse since I commanded him to speak? But tell me, Gimli, what would you do with such a gift?\u201d He said, \u201cTreasure it, lady. And if I ever return to the smithies of my home, it shall be set\u2014that strand of hair\u2014shall be set in imperishable crystal to be an heirloom of my house and a pledge of goodwill between the mountain and the wood until the end of days.\u201d\n\nThen Tolkien says, \u201cThe lady unbraided one of her long tresses and cut off three golden hairs and laid them in Gimli\u2019s hand.\u201d I believe every woman is a potential Galadriel, whom we will perceive in the new heavens and the new earth with awe and wonder. She will be formidable; she will be wise; she will be awe-inspiring. Every woman in this humiliating, degrading world can have that destiny; she, too, is created in the image of God.\n\nMy privilege is to create conditions in this world where she can dare to believe that and, through Christ, reach for it; because she deserves it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is such a beautiful image.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do that, Dave.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Wow.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I do that?!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do that for me. I feel like you have believed it in me more than I have. I think that is true of every husband as he speaks and he sees things in his wife that maybe we don\u2019t see. It lifts our heads, and it reminds us that we were made in God\u2019s image. It gives us hope that we can live out what He has called us to live out.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s beautiful. I do think if we, as men, see women that way, as we should from Genesis 1 and 2\u2014they are image-bearers and <em>princesses<\/em> created by God\u2014we will treat them as such. That <em>destroys<\/em> porn.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. Porn will not go away until using porn\/consuming porn becomes <em>unthinkable<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right now, we all know it is kind of bad; but it\u2019s not yet <em>unthinkable<\/em>. When we see women for who they really are, that\u2019s when the needle moves; and it gets re-categorized in our minds to something <em>horrible<\/em>. That\u2019s when we will see a change.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that is such an important and powerful observation that Dave and Ann Wilson and Ray Ortlund just made about the essential dignity of women and how that truth\/that reality works <em>against<\/em> the stronghold that pornography is in the lives of so many. We have to see the fundamental worth and dignity of both men and women in order to understand how <em>degrading<\/em> pornography is. If we really do want to see the death of porn in our own lives and in our own culture, our minds need to be renewed with a fresh way of thinking about who God has made us to be as His creatures.\n\nThis is something that Ray Ortlund speaks to clearly in his book, which is called <em>The Death of Porn<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, a book we are suggesting that fathers and teenage sons could work through together or, for that matter, fathers and college-aged, or young adult son, young married sons. This is a book for <em>all<\/em> men to work through together, and I think in community is the best way to do it. Maybe, you get together with guys from church to go through this book.\n\nWe have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the book is titled <em>The Death of Porn<\/em> by Ray Ortlund. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nNow, we want to ask you to join with us and pray for thousands of couples who are going to be gathering this weekend in four locations: Napa Valley, California; Hershey, Pennsylvania; Tulsa, Oklahoma; Hilton Head, South Carolina. We have <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways happening in those four cities this weekend. Next weekend, we\u2019ve got getaways taking place in Albuquerque, New Mexico; Appleton, Wisconsin; and in Kansas City.\n\nIf you\u2019ve never attended a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway, we have dozens of these events happening throughout the spring. You can find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, pray for the couples who will be gathering for these weekend getaways this weekend and next weekend.\n\nAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta are going to be here to talk about what is a challenge for so many couples today, something that is not often addressed the way it ought to be. That is the subject of intimacy in marriage and what couples can do to experience what God designed when He created married sex. I hope you are able to join us for that.\n\nOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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to porn can feel -- hopeless. But author Ray Ortlund reminds us God meets us in our moments of deepest shame to offer freedom for a lifetime.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Porn will not go away until using porn\/consuming porn becomes unthinkable.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right now, we all know it is kind of bad; but it\u2019s not yet <em>unthinkable<\/em>. When we see women for who they really are, that\u2019s when the needle moves; and it gets re-categorized in our minds to something <em>horrible<\/em>. That\u2019s when we\u2019ll see a change.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ray Ortlund is sitting in the studio with us. By the way, let me say, welcome back, Ray.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s a privilege to be with you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Glad to have you back. I mean, you flew in from Nashville, where you\u2019ve pastored a church there for years. I mean, I don\u2019t remember; how many grandkids?\u201414?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Fourteen.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s crazy.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> They are wonderful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Four kids and fourteen grandchildren.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How many years married, by the way?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> You know, it will be 50 years this year.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Congrats!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big one. What are you doing special? You\u2019ve got to do something.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> We\u2019re flying in the whole family to Nashville to spend some time at the Opryland.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s fun; at the hotel right there?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re going to have a <em>blast<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s going to be great; that\u2019s awesome.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s so fun.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Not only have you pastored a church, you\u2019ve written. We joked on the last one that you wrote the ESV Bible; [Laughter] you were a translator on it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He helped translate it.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014a translator.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; exactly, which is a pretty amazing\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014honor.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014honor to think\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And a <em>weighty<\/em> responsibility.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that what you are translating is going to be read as the Word of God. That\u2019s <em>heavy<\/em>.\n\nBut here is what happened: so we\u2019re driving in here today; and Ann goes, \u201cHey, let me read you what I was inspired by from reading your [Ray\u2019s] book, <em>The Death of Porn<\/em>\u201d; and I said, \u201cOkay!\u201d By the time we got here to the studio, I am in tears. This is powerful.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I didn\u2019t have any intention of reading it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, when I heard it, I\u2019m like, \u201cYou\u2019re reading it on air.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But as I read your book, Ray, I was inspired because you cast this vision of: \u201cWhat would it look like if we eradicated porn?\u201d I wrote this last night as I was just kind of putting my thoughts together. I just said:\n\nLet me speak for myself on behalf of millions of other wives, sisters, mothers, and grandmothers. We are <em>mad<\/em>. Underneath our anger is fear that porn is taking out our amazing and godly men. It started as magazines and then movies; but it felt far away from the shelter of our homes. Today, it is not only in our homes, and on our TVs, and computers; but now, it is available to every single person with a cell phone and internet.\n\nIt is stealing our men\/our sons. It\u2019s paralyzing them, shaming these godly gifted heroes. Now, more than ever, it is capturing the hearts of our <em>daughters<\/em> as well. It is destroying our faith, our fathers, and our families. We don\u2019t know how to help or what to do. So let us together stand up and fight for our men and families by calling upon the only One that can set the captives free.\n\nLet us go to battle on our knees, asking King Jesus to fight for us and for those we love. And let there be a cry and a roar that rocks the heavens. This is our Goliath of the day. Let us call upon the name of the Lord. What would it look like for all of us, as women, to pray, maybe, every single Friday at noon that porn and this hideous industry would be eradicated and our men and our daughters would be set free by Jesus to become all that He created them to be?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, my! I\u2019ll give my life to that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! It is a war; it is a battle. Maybe, it starts with prayer. For women, we can do that; because we feel lost as we watch, as you call it, our men lose the sparkle in their eye; and they become hollow. We see it, and we feel helpless as women. I know that we can, at least, be praying.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Here is where I move all my chips over onto the resurrection of Christ.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I believe Jesus, the risen Jesus, is today sprinting through this world, saving people left and right, and having a <em>blast<\/em> doing so. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love this!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I totally believe that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And let\u2019s dare to have that hope in our hearts: that confidence; that conviction. We see the evils, and they are disheartening\u2014they are terrifying\u2014but we turn our eyes to the Lord; and we say, \u201cOkay; let\u2019s build homes, where the tone is confidence in the risen Christ\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand hope.\u201d I quote from <em>The Shawshank Redemption<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s one of our <em>favorite<\/em> movies.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Love that movie. Every time I\u2019m flipping around and it is on, I just stop; I\u2019ve just got to watch it again.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Do you guys remember the scene, where Andy goes into the office of the warden and locks the door, and he turns on the record player?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> He puts on records of opera.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> It goes out over the loud speakers into the prison yard. Red speaks; he says this: \u201cI have no idea, to this day, what them two Italian ladies were singing about. [Laughter] I like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can\u2019t be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared higher and father than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away. And for the briefest of moments, every last man at Shawshank felt free.\u201d That\u2019s what hope does.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> The music of the gospel comes into the prison camp of this world, where everybody is wondering, \u201cHow do I even <em>survive<\/em> this?\u201d\u2014and the music of the gospel comes in\u2014the risen Christ speaking to us through the gospel, bringing hope, bringing energy, bringing joy in life again; and prisoners start coming alive. We want that to happen in our homes; we want our kids to experience that. We want that to happen in our churches. We want it to bleed out into our cities. We want to see a <em>movement<\/em> of hope. Evil doesn\u2019t stand a chance; evil is secondary and parasitic. It\u2019s not primary and original. Evil is the ultimate wannabe. [Laughter] And it cannot <em>endure<\/em> the presence of hope in the risen Christ, so <em>that\u2019s<\/em> what we want to unleash.\n\nPorn is not the issue. Despair is the issue. The battle against porn is a battle for hope; and when men and women, dads and moms, and kids have hope burning in their hearts\u2014man!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When you said, \u201cJesus is sprinting,\u201d I just started smiling, like, \u201cYes! That\u2019s what\u2019s happening.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s not wringing His hands.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But we don\u2019t always have that inspiration in our heart; we\u2019re like, \u201cUh; is He? It doesn\u2019t look like it\u201d; you know?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> What\u2019s really going on in the world is the unreported story of Jesus reaching down into the low places, and the dark places, the places of despair, and failure, and betrayal, and pain, and anguish, and regret, and wishing for do-overs; that\u2019s where Jesus loves to go.\n\nSo what happens when we get together\u2014Dave, you and I for example\u2014if we got together for coffee, you would bring something of that spark of hope to me. I would bring something of that spark of hope to you; and somehow in God\u2019s mercy and grace, the collision of your little hope with my little hope would erupt into something bigger. It\u2019s not 2 + 2 is 4; it\u2019s 2 + 2 is 1,000.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That\u2019s what happens\u2014I can\u2019t account for that\u2014but getting together makes everything exponentially better.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, talk to the women, who are married to these guys. Their men have no friends: zero.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Wow.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So they are like, \u201cMy husband needs somebody. I\u2019m his only friend.\u201d I\u2019ve heard so many women come to me; and I\u2019m encouraging, \u201cOh, yes; he <em>needs<\/em> men. That\u2019s why we need the church. We need to gather ourselves together.\u201d How would you guys encourage those women? I mean, do we just pray about that?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> How does a magnificent, godly wife facilitate a better marriage? This is a perennial question. [Laughter] My poor wife is married to me\u2014I don\u2019t know how she does it\u2014well, sometimes, I wish this weren\u2019t true\u2014but it is\u2014we just need to fail badly enough that we can\u2019t deny it anymore. We can\u2019t hide: \u201cI wish it were better,\u201d \u201cI wish there were another way.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> But I remember, for example, one time, when we had been married for seven years. I was working <em>crazy hard<\/em>, <em>way too hard<\/em>. I was neglecting my wife and children.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve gone through that phase.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been there.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Okay; well, you know what I mean.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Jani was <em>incredibly<\/em> wise. I mean, this was not one episode; this was a whole life pattern that I was establishing, and I was oblivious to it. I was the only one not seeing it. Jani and I sat down; we had a talk. Because she did not yell, and scream, and freak out\u2014because she was so gentle, and understated, and respectful, and kind\u2014I didn\u2019t see it coming; I didn\u2019t have time to duck. [Laughter]\n\nShe said to me, \u201cRay, the children and I\u2014we will always love you\u2014we\u2019re not sure we will always have you.\u201d Immediately, I <em>knew<\/em> she was right. I knew her point was valid and relevant, and it was <em>true<\/em>. I needed to hear that, and it <em>worked<\/em>.\n\nMy wife rebuked me\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014gently.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014gently, and it <em>worked<\/em>. She leveled with me; she was honest with me; she treated me with respect. She respected me enough to tell me the truth and to help me see where this was going without threats. In that moment\u2014it was a moment of grace\u2014it was a divine moment in our marriage when my wife rebuked me; and I realized, \u201cIt is time for me to change.\u201d\n\nYou know, that was one of the great moments in our marriage. We\u2019ve had great moments of romance, and joy, and profound affection, and so forth; but that moment of kind of a piercing sorrow\u2014that was <em>great<\/em> moment\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014the Lord was in that.\n\nSo a young wife, who is worried about her husband, can pray: \u201cLord, prepare me for that painful great moment when this falls apart. Help me get ready to be a faithful, wise wife when my husband hits the wall.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s helpful.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hey, Ray, what would you say to\u2014you know, we are both in the older generation\u2014what would you say to the younger Ray in his 30s\/40s? You know, they are listening right now, hopefully; and we get the chance, as someone who has been there\u2014two grandpas in the room and a grandmother\u2014to say, \u201cWhat would I say to myself?\u201d What would you say to the younger man, who is on that?\u2014we don\u2019t see it when we\u2019re doing it; but man, we are <em>obsessed<\/em> with building our kingdom; and hopefully, His kingdom\u2014but we are obsessed with it.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019ve come to realize that the most evil part of me, commonly, feels good. It doesn\u2019t feel evil; it\u2019s a spirit of self-assurance: \u201cI\u2019ve got this; I just know.\u201d That is actually very destructive, and I spent too much time there in my 20s and 30s. My dear wife found a box of prayers she had written from the \u201870s the other day. I really had not realized what a pain in the neck I was, and she just hung in there with me.\n\nGuys, now, we just have this crazy, wonderful marriage\u2014right?\u2014we are just giddy in love with each other. But I give her so much credit for being a serious woman of God, who stood by her vows to God on her wedding day, and just kept praying for me; and then God gave me moments of confrontation, and failure, and self-discovery along the way. Little by little, I grew up. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the things you do in the book is you reintroduce the characters when you talk about the death of porn. Again, didn\u2019t see that coming; but do you feel like, when we are young men\u201430s\/40s\u2014and we\u2019re racing forward, do you think porn becomes an escape?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, actually, I wrote this book, as you pointed out Dave, in the form of a series of letters\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cDear Son\u2026\u201d because I wrote it for one guy, who was a composite portrait of these <em>hundreds<\/em> of guys I\u2019ve been interacting with through the years, these magnificent young men. I gave him a name; his name is Jake. I wrote the book for Jake; I think that\u2019s a cool name. [Laughter] If I could choose my own name, it might be Jake.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Jake?\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right. I don\u2019t really like Ray, but Jake is cool. So I wrote this for Jake. Let me tell you about him: he is just a <em>great<\/em> guy; you would <em>love<\/em> him. He is a lot of fun; he\u2019s in his early 30s, married, a couple of kids, working hard. He\u2019s on an upward career path. Things are going pretty well. He goes to church once\/twice a month. He\u2019s not involved in anything <em>bad<\/em>; there is a lot of good about his life. He\u2019s got this sidebar of porn use. He doesn\u2019t feel good about it; he\u2019s not proud of it, but he\u2019s not worried about it either. There are so many guys like that.\n\nWhat Jake doesn\u2019t realize is this: ten years from now, there is a good chance he will be divorced. Twenty years from now, there is a good chance his kids won\u2019t respect him and might not even be talking to him. Thirty years from now, Jake might not even believe in God. He doesn\u2019t see it coming, because what he is making an allowance for is metastasizing into the depths of his being.\n\nI care about Jake. I care about his future, and I care about his wife and his kids. I think he can still have a <em>great<\/em> life. He can let go of this above-average existence, settling for that, and he can become a formidable man of God\u2014but he has got to turn against that porn that he is making an allowance for\u2014and believe in his own magnificence, created in the image of God; see his wife with new eyes\u2014her royalty, her magnificence\u2014his children\u2014everybody around him. He is living in a world filled with <em>wonder<\/em>; he doesn\u2019t see it. He doesn\u2019t see the path that he is actually on.\n\nI wrote this to help Jake see a new Jake, a new reality, a whole new life, a new future. I want to help that guy get there into a <em>great<\/em> life.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> [Emotion in voice] I just want to cry; it\u2019s so inspiring. It\u2019s what we <em>all<\/em> want.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think, as I started reading it, you start with: \u201cYou Are Royalty\u201d\u2014talking to Jake, which is every man\u2014then you say, \u201cShe Is Royalty.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, the Bible is very clear\u2014Genesis 1:27\u2014\u201cSo God created man in His image. In the image of God, He created them. Male and female He created them.\u201d Now, there are other creation accounts from the ancient world. For example, the Babylonians had their own sort of version\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014of Genesis 1. In the Babylonian creation account, we are not created in the image of God; the creation of the woman isn\u2019t even mentioned. But in Genesis 1 and 2, everybody is.\n\nIn Babylonian mythology, it was only the king who was in the image of God, and the elite was in the image of God. The Bible democratizes the image of God\u2014gives it to <em>everybody<\/em> who is human\u2014<em>and<\/em> the climax of the creation account in Chapter 2 of Genesis is the creation of the woman; she is the <em>hero<\/em> of the story. [Laughter] In the Babylonian version, she\u2019s just assumed. In the biblical version, she\u2019s <em>celebrated<\/em>. The Bible really gives us new eyes to see how <em>magnificent<\/em> a woman is.\n\nFor example, I love this in <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em> by J.R.R. Tolkien\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of my favorites.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, yes; Galadriel, the elvish queen, wants to give each member of the fellowship a parting gift, everything sort of noble and wonderful. She asks Gimli the dwarf what he wants; and he says, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t dare ask anything.\u201d\n\nShe\u2019s surprised; he\u2019s very humble, you know; but she urges him to go ahead and dare to make a request of her. He says, \u201cThere is nothing Lady Galadriel,\u201d said Gimli bowing low and stammering, \u201cNothing unless I might be permitted to ask to name a single strand of your hair, which surpasses the gold of the earth, as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift, but you commanded me to name my desire.\u201d The other elves that are looking on are like: \u201cNo way! Did he just ask that? Did he say that?\u201d [Laughter]\n\nGaladriel says, \u201cNone have ever made me so a bold a request and yet so courteous. How shall I refuse since I commanded him to speak? But tell me, Gimli, what would you do with such a gift?\u201d He said, \u201cTreasure it, lady. And if I ever return to the smithies of my home, it shall be set\u2014that strand of hair\u2014shall be set in imperishable crystal to be an heirloom of my house and a pledge of goodwill between the mountain and the wood until the end of days.\u201d\n\nThen Tolkien says, \u201cThe lady unbraided one of her long tresses and cut off three golden hairs and laid them in Gimli\u2019s hand.\u201d I believe every woman is a potential Galadriel, whom we will perceive in the new heavens and the new earth with awe and wonder. She will be formidable; she will be wise; she will be awe-inspiring. Every woman in this humiliating, degrading world can have that destiny; she, too, is created in the image of God.\n\nMy privilege is to create conditions in this world where she can dare to believe that and, through Christ, reach for it; because she deserves it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is such a beautiful image.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do that, Dave.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Wow.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I do that?!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do that for me. I feel like you have believed it in me more than I have. I think that is true of every husband as he speaks and he sees things in his wife that maybe we don\u2019t see. It lifts our heads, and it reminds us that we were made in God\u2019s image. It gives us hope that we can live out what He has called us to live out.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s beautiful. I do think if we, as men, see women that way, as we should from Genesis 1 and 2\u2014they are image-bearers and <em>princesses<\/em> created by God\u2014we will treat them as such. That <em>destroys<\/em> porn.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. Porn will not go away until using porn\/consuming porn becomes <em>unthinkable<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right now, we all know it is kind of bad; but it\u2019s not yet <em>unthinkable<\/em>. When we see women for who they really are, that\u2019s when the needle moves; and it gets re-categorized in our minds to something <em>horrible<\/em>. That\u2019s when we will see a change.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that is such an important and powerful observation that Dave and Ann Wilson and Ray Ortlund just made about the essential dignity of women and how that truth\/that reality works <em>against<\/em> the stronghold that pornography is in the lives of so many. We have to see the fundamental worth and dignity of both men and women in order to understand how <em>degrading<\/em> pornography is. If we really do want to see the death of porn in our own lives and in our own culture, our minds need to be renewed with a fresh way of thinking about who God has made us to be as His creatures.\n\nThis is something that Ray Ortlund speaks to clearly in his book, which is called <em>The Death of Porn<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, a book we are suggesting that fathers and teenage sons could work through together or, for that matter, fathers and college-aged, or young adult son, young married sons. This is a book for <em>all<\/em> men to work through together, and I think in community is the best way to do it. Maybe, you get together with guys from church to go through this book.\n\nWe have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the book is titled <em>The Death of Porn<\/em> by Ray Ortlund. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nNow, we want to ask you to join with us and pray for thousands of couples who are going to be gathering this weekend in four locations: Napa Valley, California; Hershey, Pennsylvania; Tulsa, Oklahoma; Hilton Head, South Carolina. We have <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways happening in those four cities this weekend. Next weekend, we\u2019ve got getaways taking place in Albuquerque, New Mexico; Appleton, Wisconsin; and in Kansas City.\n\nIf you\u2019ve never attended a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway, we have dozens of these events happening throughout the spring. You can find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, pray for the couples who will be gathering for these weekend getaways this weekend and next weekend.\n\nAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta are going to be here to talk about what is a challenge for so many couples today, something that is not often addressed the way it ought to be. That is the subject of intimacy in marriage and what couples can do to experience what God designed when He created married sex. I hope you are able to join us for that.\n\nOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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