{"id":307386,"date":"2022-02-01T08:03:19","date_gmt":"2022-02-01T13:03:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship\/"},"modified":"2022-02-01T08:03:19","modified_gmt":"2022-02-01T13:03:19","slug":"when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Has motherhood left you lonely? Author Maggie Combs offers solutions when you long for relationship\u00e2\u20ac&#8221;and long to be known.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:04","filesize":"23.87M","filesize_raw":"25024482","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[7026,7027],"podcast_series":[8500],"cwp_profile":[9757],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307386","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-long-for-relationship","tag-longs-for-relationship","podcast_series-motherhood-without-all-the-rules","cwp_profile-maggie-combs","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307386\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307386\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"xe5SxlPGZD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship\/\">When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship\/embed\/#?secret=xe5SxlPGZD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"xe5SxlPGZD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie: <\/strong>When you\u2019re a mom, you can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d; you know? And it <em>is <\/em>really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women, who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you\u2019re a mother of three boys; you\u2019re a boy-mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I am! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019re a special breed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and we\u2019ve got a boy mom\u2014we\u2019ve got two boy moms\u2014in here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You both have three sons. You know, we actually have daughters-in-law now, and grandkids. But as you think about that, what was the <em>best <\/em>thing about being a mother of sons? What was the <em>worst<\/em>? What comes to your mind first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The hardest\u2014I wouldn\u2019t say the worst, but the <em>hardest<\/em>\u2014thing was when they were little. They are so active; they are constantly on the go. It felt physically exhausting. I feel like I have a lot of energy; but I felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the <em>best<\/em> was just kind of discovering how God made them: their physical-ness; their fun; their adventure hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re excited because we have Maggie Combs back with us today. Maggie has written a book called <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re a mom of three boys as well. I\u2019ll throw the same question to you: \u201cBest\/greatest thing about it?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s the hardest thing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> The hardest thing for me has just been the physical-ness of it\u2014like you said\u2014they\u2019re so busy. I remember my husband, when he would stay late at work\u2014I had these three toddler boys\u2014it was like, \u201cThey can\u2019t go to bed unless someone has wrestled with them.\u201d [Laughter] I would get down on the floor, and I would go into the fetal position; and I would be like, \u201cOkay, you can wrestle me now!\u201d And they would just jump <em>all over <\/em>me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThankfully, they\u2019re a little older now, so now, I just say like, \u201cJust go wrestle with each other; okay? Try not to break a bone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> For me, I can remember times they were so rambunctious\u2014they\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to settle down\u2014we\u2019d be like, \u201cOkay; outside! Sprint up and down!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This was the middle of winter in Michigan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cPut all your snow clothes on. You guys, run as <em>fast<\/em> as you can down the street.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, for like two hours\u2014no, I\u2019m kidding\u2014but you know, just to get some exhaustion; because they\u2019re never going to settle down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t it interesting the things that you do\u2014that you said, \u201cI will <em>never <\/em>do this,\u201d\u2014did you have any of those?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure if I had any specific ones of those. My boys were born in a clump of baby girls\u2014just so many baby girls\u2014all of my friends were having baby girls. We would have play dates; and it was like, \u201cOh, this is a totally different world.\u201d I remember my best friend coming up to me, and I don\u2019t remember what the item was she picked up off my floor. She said [whispering], \u201cI found this on your floor. You know, it\u2019s not <em>safe,<\/em>\u201d or whatever. I was like, \u201cOh, yes; of course. I\u2019m so glad you found that.\u201d I was thinking to myself, \u201cBut I was letting my kid play with that five minutes before you came here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like boys kind of get a bad rap sometimes, though. I would say my favorite thing about raising boys is just seeing how tender they can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019re always saying, \u201cOh, they\u2019re rough and tumble,\u201d\u2014which they <em>are<\/em>\u2014but then that flip side, where they\u2019re just really sweet and tender with me\/with each other; and just being really good at loving well, still being a <em>crazy<\/em> boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember one time one of my friends asked me to come over to help her wallpaper her bathroom. She had just had her fifth baby. I guess that little boy was maybe seven months old or eight months old. She\u2019s corralling all of her kids in the other room; and I\u2019m up on the ladder, putting this wallpaper up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cHey, you might want to come in here!\u201d; because her baby could sit up, but her baby was in the bathroom with me. She was thinking, \u201cWell, you can watch him while you wallpaper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Obviously!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine!\u201d And I said, \u201cYour little boy has the plunger, and it\u2019s in his mouth!\u201d I\u2019m waiting for her to <em>rush<\/em> in and grab that plunger. She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s fine!\u201d [Laughter] Even for me, like, \u201cUgh, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s quite fine.\u201d [Laughter] But it\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> the survival mode that we get into as moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, do you think it\u2019s a lot different for moms of daughters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s just dependent on personality. What do you think, Maggie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; and I think every mom has to like learn to chill out a little bit\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u2014to some extent, or else you just go crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Maybe not the plunger, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Maybe not plunger-level chilling out. [Laughter] But you learn to go, \u201cOkay, I can say \u2018Yes,\u2019 to that, when everything inside me is screaming, \u2018No! Protect them! Be careful!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, Maggie, you\u2019ve written more than <em>this<\/em> book. Tell us about the other things that you\u2019ve done and what you\u2019re doing now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> <em>Unsuper Mommy.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> title.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> My first book is <em>Unsuper Mommy, <\/em>and it was written in the <em>throes<\/em> of early motherhood. When I started it, I had a six-month-old, an eighteen-month-old, and a three-and-a-half-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>What?! <\/em>That is <em>being <\/em>a supermom!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are you crazy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Well, no. [Laughter] Because it was like, \u201cWhat did I do really bad at today?\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s just written from just the overflow of what God was teaching me in the <em>hardest <\/em>season of my life. It is really raw, but it\u2019s just sharing with women how to release all of those plans that they did have for motherhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Suddenly, they\u2019re like, \u201cAlert, alert! Emergency! None of my plans are coming to fruition,\u201d\u2014and to release those\u2014and to embrace the life that God has put before them that day and to know that they can only do that life by the power of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I get to do now, as a writer, is I am content director at a ministry called Well-Watered Women. I get to write Bible studies; and I get to oversee social media; and share the gospel with women, across the board\u2014who are moms, who are single, who are married, who are divorced, who are widowed\u2014all women, not just moms. It\u2019s been a real gift to be part of that ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting; one of the sections of <em>this<\/em> book\u2014you know, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em>\u2014the chapter title was \u201cRelationship Over Rules.\u201d I initially thought, \u201cOh, I know where this is going\u201d; because we wrote a chapter in our <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em> book about: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion\u201d; so it was about your relationship with your kids, especially teenagers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> That\u2019s one of my parents\u2019 favorite sayings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s been around for a long time. You know, it\u2019s highlighting a very important thing, especially teenagers: is if all they\u2019re getting from you is rules\u2014you\u2019re not cultivating a relationship\u2014it <em>could<\/em> lead to rebellion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> what you were talking about. I found it very insightful. You\u2019re talking about relationship with <em>God<\/em> over just being a rule-based parent; talk about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; I think one of the things that I aim to do in my book is talk to the mom\u2019s heart; because we can give them all the parenting advice in the world, but if their heart isn\u2019t following God, it\u2019s not going to do them any good! It\u2019s just slapping on fruit on a tree that is dying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> So, actually, I think that I tried to work that phrase into my book somewhere\u2014the \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d\u2014because it works the same way in our relationship with God; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> If we just take all of the good rules\/all of the good exhortations that the Bible gives us, and we try to do them without being in relationship with God, we\u2019re going to end up pretty angry at God or throwing the whole thing out altogether. We see all this de-conversion stuff right now\u2014right?\u2014throwing it all out altogether and saying, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t want anything to do with this anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what this book is trying to do\u2014is aim at that heart and say, \u201cInstead of trying to fix your actions, let\u2019s work on what\u2019s going on in our heart as mom; dig into that with God. Learn to be in prayer with Him.\u201d I think, so often, we\u2019re afraid to tell Him how upset we are about what is happening in our lives. And so being able to actually go to Him and be honest, like: \u201cThis was really hard today,\u201d \u201cThis is what I\u2019m struggling with\u2026\u201d\u2014not just like, \u201cHere\u2019s my laundry list of things I want You to do for me,\u201d\u2014but talk to Him like we would talk to our best friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I call my mom up like 15 times a day. [Laughter] I just tell her all the <em>weird<\/em> stuff that happens in motherhood. Sometimes, moms can feel like, \u201cMan, I just want someoneto tell <em>everything<\/em> to\u201d; right? And we do have Someone to tell everything to. Moms often really struggle with loneliness; because we\u2019re just so deep in our kids\u2019 lives, we don\u2019t have time to make friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, God does call us to build friendships and to make space for that; but in seasons like when my kids were really little, it was just basically <em>impossible<\/em>. It was like God could be that for me; He is my <em>friend<\/em>, not just my Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s so good. I know that, when our kids were little, I would call my sister. She had four boys, and I had three boys. As soon as something would happen, I would call her. I had this\u2014and then we would just vent to one another; you know?\u2014we\u2019d just go to dark, deep places! And I realized one day, as I was praying, I was thinking\/I had this thought of like God saying, \u201cCome to Me first.\u201d Jesus said, \u201cCome to Me, all you who are weary.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s me! I have my hand up!\u201d So I thought, \u201cBefore I call my friend or my sister, I\u2019m going to go to God <em>first<\/em> and tell Him everything that\u2019s on my heart.\u201d And doesn\u2019t He want that? He <em>wants<\/em> us to go there with Him! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so funny, because the more I did that, the more I felt like, \u201cOh, I want to go to Him <em>first<\/em>,\u201d because other people aren\u2019t solving my problems. I would get this peace, as Philippians says, that surpasses all understanding; and it would guard my heart and my mind in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember driving, not too long ago. I was praying, just talking to God about when I lost my mom. I remember saying to Jesus, \u201cYou\u2019re my <em>best<\/em> Friend.\u201d And that takes a while, to go to Him first\u2014to learn that\u2014that\u2019s what we want for our kids. We can model that, of letting them see us go before God and telling Him what\u2019s on our hearts and minds. I <em>love<\/em> that you\u2019re talking about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; we <em>all<\/em> long for that. We are relational people, because we are made in the image of a relational God. He is Trinitarian\u2014Father, Son, and Holy Spirit\u2014and in Him, there\u2019s perfect relationship. Back in the garden, Adam and Eve got to be in perfect relationship; they walked with God. And then, that was broken by sin; but Jesus came to make a way for us to have perfect relationship with God again. We will fail sometimes in this world, but we are growing towards living more in relationship with Him. Prayer is such an essential part of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was thinking of this, you know, in terms of the relationship with God: you mentioned, earlier, that moms often feel lonely;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014so they need another mom or another friend as well. I remember\u2014and I don\u2019t know where I read it, <em>years ago<\/em>\u2014I think it was a Max Lucado book, 25-30 years ago. He tells this cute little story of a little boy running in mom and dad\u2019s room during a thunderstorm. He grabs his dad\u2019s leg; I think he\u2019s about six. You know, he says, \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d Dad says, \u201cHey, you don\u2019t need to be scared. Jesus is here; Jesus has got it.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes, I know that; but right now, I need someone with skin on.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019ve never forgotten that. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s so true for us as well. We don\u2019t need anybody else but Jesus\u2014He\u2019s <em>all <\/em>we need; He\u2019s our sufficiency\u2014yet, He\u2019s made us in such a way we need humans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking, as moms: \u201cHow do moms dig out of that loneliness to have other moms in your life to help support you when you\u2019re going through\/I mean, those are the shadow of the valley\u2014you know?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014when you\u2019re raising little toddlers, especially boys\u2014or girls\u2014it's like it\u2019s exhausting. You need another mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How do you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been given friends; we\u2019ve been given the local church. So often, we want to go to Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for relationship; we want to go to social media for relationship. Those relationships are not enough; they cannot know our whole selves. But women, who are <em>in <\/em>our lives, doing real life with us, can when we\u2019re willing to pull back the veneer and say, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t feel like a good mom today, because I did this...\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And moms tend to <em>hide<\/em> in our shame. When we feel shame, we pull away from others. I remember <em>making <\/em>myself make calls when I felt like: \u201cEvery other mom\u2019s better than I am,\u201d and \u201cIf I tell them the way I\u2019m acting, or even what\u2019s in my heart\u201d\u2014like I\u2019m so angry or lonely sometimes\u2014\u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be judged.\u201d Sometimes, to be the first one to say it will open this door of other women saying, \u201cMe too!\u201d And there\u2019s something really special and healing about having people open up about what they\u2019re facing, and then <em>praying<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the right kind of friend, Dave, is really important. When I would call a friend, and she would say, \u201cI know! Your husband <em>is <\/em>an idiot.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m, \u201cOkay, that may not be the best friend.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You had friends say that about me?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, it could have been a family member. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m just kidding! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I was going to say there are kind of two steps. There\u2019s one: being willing to be the first person to be vulnerable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> But then, making sure that you are being vulnerable with the kind of friend, who\u2019s going to give you the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> The world is full of all kinds of things to put our hope in: we can put our hope in the next girls\u2019 night out; or the next vacation; or one of the main ones moms hear is: \u201cDon\u2019t worry! It\u2019s just a season.\u201d And that is a little hope; that is not <em>enough<\/em> to support all the hope that we need for motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo getting a friend, who you know is going to say, \u201cI see that. I see how that was really hard; but you know what? I also see that Jesus is here with you, and He knows what it\u2019s like when your kids are just\/they [do] not listen to anything you say.\u201d [Laughter] Who knows better than Jesus about that; right?! I mean, it\u2019s like, \u201cProne to wander\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo when your kids are refusing to listen to you, a friend who says, \u201cYou know what? I think God has experienced that, too; let\u2019s pray together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; that friend, who says, \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s remember, together, what God has said about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s easy, as a guy, to think women never struggle with the loneliness; because you\u2019re so good at relationships. But you know, you watch women relate to one another; and it\u2019s like, \u201cWow! They have real friendships. We men have to initiate and struggle with that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you really do need other women. And if it\u2019s true, how do you do it, as a mom, who\u2019s overwhelmed with her schedule? How do you find time to spend some time with women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I think there are a few ways. One of the best ways to spend time with other women is to join your church Bible study. Praise the Lord for church childcare! [Laughter] Am I right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI struggled with doing that, as a young mom, because I was like, \u201cWell, I know the kids are going to have a hard day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cIt\u2019s naptime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cI know that the naptime will get messed up,\u201d and all this stuff. But you have to say like, \u201cI actually know that, even more than I need an <em>easy<\/em> afternoon that day, I need to be opening God\u2019s Word with other women.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the great thing about Bible study, especially if you can be involved in an intergenerational Bible study, is it opens your eyes to circumstances\u2014other women, who are in different ages and stages of life and their circumstances\u2014because when you\u2019re a mom, it can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d; you know? And it <em>is <\/em>really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women, who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I always say: have a woman in front of you, [who\u2019s] ahead of you in their life stage; have a woman beside you, who is right alongside, that you can say, \u201cOh, I know! That happened to me today\u201d; and then, I think it\u2019s really good to have someone <em>behind<\/em> you, who maybe she just had the baby, or she just got married. Because, maybe you weren\u2019t perfect in that stage, but you\u2019ve <em>learned<\/em> so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to so many older women, whose kids are gone, who feel like, \u201cI have nothing to offer. My kids are gone. I feel like my life is kind of\/the meaning of it doesn\u2019t have as much significance.\u201d I\u2019m saying, \u201cOh, you are in the peak and prime of pouring into younger women.\u201d And when they say: \u201cBut I\u2019ve been divorced,\u201d or \u201cI have kids who have rebelled,\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cAnd haven\u2019t you learned a lot from that?\u201d because Satan says to us, \u2018You\u2019re disqualified!\u2019 and God says, \u2018No, I will use all of your pain for someone else\u2019s gain if you\u2019ll let Me. Let Me heal some of those things.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; we need the whole body of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> And we are <em>all <\/em>unfinished.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I just hear so much, in the ministry that I work with\u2014women going, \u201cI <em>want <\/em>a mentor! How do I <em>get<\/em> a mentor?\u201d\u2014so if you are an older woman, who\u2019s thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t have anything to offer,\u201d there is a whole generation of women, who are just recognizing the shallowness of getting mentoring on the internet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> And they\u2019re starting to say, \u201cI want someone to talk to about my <em>real <\/em>life.\u201d If you would just say, \u201cHey, would you want to meet every once in a while?\u201d that woman is going to be like, \u201cYes! I would love that! How can we do that?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, in some ways\u2014you know, reading through your book\u2014it\u2019s like these stressful standards: most of them are <em>lies<\/em>. You know, they are things that we hear\/or you hear, as a mom, from the culture and from the world. When you look at them, you are like, \u201cThat\u2019s not true\u201d; but when you connect with other women, that\u2019s what they can do; they can speak. What you\u2019re doing in your book is you\u2019re saying: \u201cThis is a lie,\u201d \u201cThis is a myth,\u201d \u201cHere's the Truth\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoy, if you\u2019re surrounding yourself\u2014same thing for guys; there\u2019s no difference\u2014and for couples\u2014to say, \u201cI need people in my life that remind me of what\u2019s true. I\u2019m buying into a lie again, and I don\u2019t even realize it. I say it out loud; and they look at me and they go, \u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> That\u2019s all discipleship is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Or if there\u2019s a hard question, like, \u201cLet\u2019s find it in the Bible together.\u201d You don\u2019t have to be able to come up with the chapter and verse off the top of your head;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cLet\u2019s look together!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I think what we can do, as women, is\u2014I\u2019ve heard so many women say to me, \u201cI\u2019m sure you don\u2019t have time\u201d; you know? I think they <em>assume<\/em> in their head: \u201cNobody would want to meet with me. If somebody <em>heard<\/em> how I\u2019m struggling, they would think I\u2019m disqualified.\u201d I would say, \u201c<em>Do not <\/em>listen to those lies; because if Satan has a plan for your life, it\u2019s that you remain isolated; you live in shame. And God is saying, \u2018No, step out!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis year, I\u2019ve been going through my one-year Bible; and every time it says, \u201cAnd they cried out to the Lord,\u201d do you know what the next sentence is?\u2014\u201cAnd He heard their cry.\u201d I would just say to you women\/to you moms: \u201cEvery single time you cry out, God hears you! So pray for a mentor; pray for a friend; pray for your kids, because God hears you. And then, if you have that urge\u2014like if somebody comes to your mind\u2014like, \u2018I would <em>love <\/em>to meet with her,\u2019 why not call? If she doesn\u2019t work, then call someone else; but keep moving, and keep finding those people who can pour into you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the simple way to do that: pick up Maggie\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Call another mom or two, and say, \u201cHey, let\u2019s go through this together.\u201d Who knows where that would lead to? You\u2019re going to talk about mom stuff; and you may end up with a really good friend, who helps you do this journey as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I <em>love<\/em> that idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I bet you do! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I went through a season where\u2014you know, that early season of motherhood\u2014I came out, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I just said, \u201cI\u2019m <em>lonely<\/em>.\u201d And I just prayed for a friend. You know what? God gave me <em>three.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Three very clear answers to prayer. One was a woman I had never met, who had recently moved to Minnesota and became one of my best friends. I saw her at Bible study; and I was like, \u201cI like your Bible.\u201d [Laughter] She\u2019s like\/kind of a Christian pickup line, I think. [Laughter] We started talking and just instantly became friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, one was a dear sister-in-law that I\u2019ve always been friends with; but we just grew closer again. And then, one was a friend across the internet. We started talking about writing; and we\u2019ve just been talking about writing ever since, and everything in life. God <em>does<\/em> answer that prayer; He wants us to be in fellowship with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you find yourself struggling in all that is involved in motherhood, maybe one of the issues is you\u2019re isolated. You don\u2019t have the help and the support you need from other moms; you don\u2019t have other women you can lean on, who will tell you, \u201cI\u2019m struggling with that too,\u201d or \u201cHere\u2019s something I\u2019ve found that works there.\u201d Being a mom was never designed to be done in isolation; we <em>need<\/em> one another in this journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something that Maggie Combs addresses in her book, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules. <\/em>It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> book to help free you up from some of the preconceptions you might have about what it means to be a good mom. The subtitle of the book is <em>Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths. <\/em>We want to make this book available to you this week if you can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation. This would be a great book to give as a gift to a young mom you know, or to read through with a group of other moms, and maybe begin to cultivate some of those friendships that Maggie was talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGet your copy of <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em> when you make a donation today to help support the outreach that is <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Each day, there are hundreds of thousands of husbands and wives, moms and dads, who are connecting with us, looking for practical biblical help and hope for their marriage. You make this daily encouragement and equipping possible for them when you support this ministry. You can do that easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, when you do, ask for your copy of the book, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em>,by Maggie Combs. Donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, all of us have heard on an airplane when they say, \u201cIf the oxygen mask drops down, put your mask on first and then put your child\u2019s mask on.\u201d Is that how it works with being a mom? Do you take care of yourself first before you take care of the kids? Dave and Ann Wilson will talk with Maggie Combs about the priority of self-care, and how that fits into being a mom, on tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:04"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.87M"],"filesize_raw":["25024482"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307386.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307386.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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motherhood left you lonely? Author Maggie Combs offers solutions when you long for relationship\u00e2\u20ac\"and long to be known.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-02-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie: <\/strong>When you\u2019re a mom, you can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d; you know? And it <em>is <\/em>really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women, who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you\u2019re a mother of three boys; you\u2019re a boy-mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I am! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019re a special breed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and we\u2019ve got a boy mom\u2014we\u2019ve got two boy moms\u2014in here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You both have three sons. You know, we actually have daughters-in-law now, and grandkids. But as you think about that, what was the <em>best <\/em>thing about being a mother of sons? What was the <em>worst<\/em>? What comes to your mind first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The hardest\u2014I wouldn\u2019t say the worst, but the <em>hardest<\/em>\u2014thing was when they were little. They are so active; they are constantly on the go. It felt physically exhausting. I feel like I have a lot of energy; but I felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the <em>best<\/em> was just kind of discovering how God made them: their physical-ness; their fun; their adventure hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re excited because we have Maggie Combs back with us today. Maggie has written a book called <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re a mom of three boys as well. I\u2019ll throw the same question to you: \u201cBest\/greatest thing about it?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s the hardest thing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> The hardest thing for me has just been the physical-ness of it\u2014like you said\u2014they\u2019re so busy. I remember my husband, when he would stay late at work\u2014I had these three toddler boys\u2014it was like, \u201cThey can\u2019t go to bed unless someone has wrestled with them.\u201d [Laughter] I would get down on the floor, and I would go into the fetal position; and I would be like, \u201cOkay, you can wrestle me now!\u201d And they would just jump <em>all over <\/em>me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThankfully, they\u2019re a little older now, so now, I just say like, \u201cJust go wrestle with each other; okay? Try not to break a bone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> For me, I can remember times they were so rambunctious\u2014they\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to settle down\u2014we\u2019d be like, \u201cOkay; outside! Sprint up and down!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This was the middle of winter in Michigan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cPut all your snow clothes on. You guys, run as <em>fast<\/em> as you can down the street.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, for like two hours\u2014no, I\u2019m kidding\u2014but you know, just to get some exhaustion; because they\u2019re never going to settle down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t it interesting the things that you do\u2014that you said, \u201cI will <em>never <\/em>do this,\u201d\u2014did you have any of those?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure if I had any specific ones of those. My boys were born in a clump of baby girls\u2014just so many baby girls\u2014all of my friends were having baby girls. We would have play dates; and it was like, \u201cOh, this is a totally different world.\u201d I remember my best friend coming up to me, and I don\u2019t remember what the item was she picked up off my floor. She said [whispering], \u201cI found this on your floor. You know, it\u2019s not <em>safe,<\/em>\u201d or whatever. I was like, \u201cOh, yes; of course. I\u2019m so glad you found that.\u201d I was thinking to myself, \u201cBut I was letting my kid play with that five minutes before you came here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like boys kind of get a bad rap sometimes, though. I would say my favorite thing about raising boys is just seeing how tender they can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019re always saying, \u201cOh, they\u2019re rough and tumble,\u201d\u2014which they <em>are<\/em>\u2014but then that flip side, where they\u2019re just really sweet and tender with me\/with each other; and just being really good at loving well, still being a <em>crazy<\/em> boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember one time one of my friends asked me to come over to help her wallpaper her bathroom. She had just had her fifth baby. I guess that little boy was maybe seven months old or eight months old. She\u2019s corralling all of her kids in the other room; and I\u2019m up on the ladder, putting this wallpaper up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cHey, you might want to come in here!\u201d; because her baby could sit up, but her baby was in the bathroom with me. She was thinking, \u201cWell, you can watch him while you wallpaper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Obviously!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine!\u201d And I said, \u201cYour little boy has the plunger, and it\u2019s in his mouth!\u201d I\u2019m waiting for her to <em>rush<\/em> in and grab that plunger. She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s fine!\u201d [Laughter] Even for me, like, \u201cUgh, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s quite fine.\u201d [Laughter] But it\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> the survival mode that we get into as moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, do you think it\u2019s a lot different for moms of daughters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s just dependent on personality. What do you think, Maggie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; and I think every mom has to like learn to chill out a little bit\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u2014to some extent, or else you just go crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Maybe not the plunger, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Maybe not plunger-level chilling out. [Laughter] But you learn to go, \u201cOkay, I can say \u2018Yes,\u2019 to that, when everything inside me is screaming, \u2018No! Protect them! Be careful!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, Maggie, you\u2019ve written more than <em>this<\/em> book. Tell us about the other things that you\u2019ve done and what you\u2019re doing now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> <em>Unsuper Mommy.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> title.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> My first book is <em>Unsuper Mommy, <\/em>and it was written in the <em>throes<\/em> of early motherhood. When I started it, I had a six-month-old, an eighteen-month-old, and a three-and-a-half-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>What?! <\/em>That is <em>being <\/em>a supermom!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are you crazy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Well, no. [Laughter] Because it was like, \u201cWhat did I do really bad at today?\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s just written from just the overflow of what God was teaching me in the <em>hardest <\/em>season of my life. It is really raw, but it\u2019s just sharing with women how to release all of those plans that they did have for motherhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Suddenly, they\u2019re like, \u201cAlert, alert! Emergency! None of my plans are coming to fruition,\u201d\u2014and to release those\u2014and to embrace the life that God has put before them that day and to know that they can only do that life by the power of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I get to do now, as a writer, is I am content director at a ministry called Well-Watered Women. I get to write Bible studies; and I get to oversee social media; and share the gospel with women, across the board\u2014who are moms, who are single, who are married, who are divorced, who are widowed\u2014all women, not just moms. It\u2019s been a real gift to be part of that ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting; one of the sections of <em>this<\/em> book\u2014you know, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em>\u2014the chapter title was \u201cRelationship Over Rules.\u201d I initially thought, \u201cOh, I know where this is going\u201d; because we wrote a chapter in our <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em> book about: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion\u201d; so it was about your relationship with your kids, especially teenagers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> That\u2019s one of my parents\u2019 favorite sayings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s been around for a long time. You know, it\u2019s highlighting a very important thing, especially teenagers: is if all they\u2019re getting from you is rules\u2014you\u2019re not cultivating a relationship\u2014it <em>could<\/em> lead to rebellion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> what you were talking about. I found it very insightful. You\u2019re talking about relationship with <em>God<\/em> over just being a rule-based parent; talk about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; I think one of the things that I aim to do in my book is talk to the mom\u2019s heart; because we can give them all the parenting advice in the world, but if their heart isn\u2019t following God, it\u2019s not going to do them any good! It\u2019s just slapping on fruit on a tree that is dying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> So, actually, I think that I tried to work that phrase into my book somewhere\u2014the \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d\u2014because it works the same way in our relationship with God; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> If we just take all of the good rules\/all of the good exhortations that the Bible gives us, and we try to do them without being in relationship with God, we\u2019re going to end up pretty angry at God or throwing the whole thing out altogether. We see all this de-conversion stuff right now\u2014right?\u2014throwing it all out altogether and saying, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t want anything to do with this anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what this book is trying to do\u2014is aim at that heart and say, \u201cInstead of trying to fix your actions, let\u2019s work on what\u2019s going on in our heart as mom; dig into that with God. Learn to be in prayer with Him.\u201d I think, so often, we\u2019re afraid to tell Him how upset we are about what is happening in our lives. And so being able to actually go to Him and be honest, like: \u201cThis was really hard today,\u201d \u201cThis is what I\u2019m struggling with\u2026\u201d\u2014not just like, \u201cHere\u2019s my laundry list of things I want You to do for me,\u201d\u2014but talk to Him like we would talk to our best friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I call my mom up like 15 times a day. [Laughter] I just tell her all the <em>weird<\/em> stuff that happens in motherhood. Sometimes, moms can feel like, \u201cMan, I just want someoneto tell <em>everything<\/em> to\u201d; right? And we do have Someone to tell everything to. Moms often really struggle with loneliness; because we\u2019re just so deep in our kids\u2019 lives, we don\u2019t have time to make friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, God does call us to build friendships and to make space for that; but in seasons like when my kids were really little, it was just basically <em>impossible<\/em>. It was like God could be that for me; He is my <em>friend<\/em>, not just my Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s so good. I know that, when our kids were little, I would call my sister. She had four boys, and I had three boys. As soon as something would happen, I would call her. I had this\u2014and then we would just vent to one another; you know?\u2014we\u2019d just go to dark, deep places! And I realized one day, as I was praying, I was thinking\/I had this thought of like God saying, \u201cCome to Me first.\u201d Jesus said, \u201cCome to Me, all you who are weary.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s me! I have my hand up!\u201d So I thought, \u201cBefore I call my friend or my sister, I\u2019m going to go to God <em>first<\/em> and tell Him everything that\u2019s on my heart.\u201d And doesn\u2019t He want that? He <em>wants<\/em> us to go there with Him! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so funny, because the more I did that, the more I felt like, \u201cOh, I want to go to Him <em>first<\/em>,\u201d because other people aren\u2019t solving my problems. I would get this peace, as Philippians says, that surpasses all understanding; and it would guard my heart and my mind in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember driving, not too long ago. I was praying, just talking to God about when I lost my mom. I remember saying to Jesus, \u201cYou\u2019re my <em>best<\/em> Friend.\u201d And that takes a while, to go to Him first\u2014to learn that\u2014that\u2019s what we want for our kids. We can model that, of letting them see us go before God and telling Him what\u2019s on our hearts and minds. I <em>love<\/em> that you\u2019re talking about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; we <em>all<\/em> long for that. We are relational people, because we are made in the image of a relational God. He is Trinitarian\u2014Father, Son, and Holy Spirit\u2014and in Him, there\u2019s perfect relationship. Back in the garden, Adam and Eve got to be in perfect relationship; they walked with God. And then, that was broken by sin; but Jesus came to make a way for us to have perfect relationship with God again. We will fail sometimes in this world, but we are growing towards living more in relationship with Him. Prayer is such an essential part of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was thinking of this, you know, in terms of the relationship with God: you mentioned, earlier, that moms often feel lonely;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014so they need another mom or another friend as well. I remember\u2014and I don\u2019t know where I read it, <em>years ago<\/em>\u2014I think it was a Max Lucado book, 25-30 years ago. He tells this cute little story of a little boy running in mom and dad\u2019s room during a thunderstorm. He grabs his dad\u2019s leg; I think he\u2019s about six. You know, he says, \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d Dad says, \u201cHey, you don\u2019t need to be scared. Jesus is here; Jesus has got it.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes, I know that; but right now, I need someone with skin on.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019ve never forgotten that. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s so true for us as well. We don\u2019t need anybody else but Jesus\u2014He\u2019s <em>all <\/em>we need; He\u2019s our sufficiency\u2014yet, He\u2019s made us in such a way we need humans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking, as moms: \u201cHow do moms dig out of that loneliness to have other moms in your life to help support you when you\u2019re going through\/I mean, those are the shadow of the valley\u2014you know?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014when you\u2019re raising little toddlers, especially boys\u2014or girls\u2014it's like it\u2019s exhausting. You need another mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How do you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been given friends; we\u2019ve been given the local church. So often, we want to go to Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for relationship; we want to go to social media for relationship. Those relationships are not enough; they cannot know our whole selves. But women, who are <em>in <\/em>our lives, doing real life with us, can when we\u2019re willing to pull back the veneer and say, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t feel like a good mom today, because I did this...\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And moms tend to <em>hide<\/em> in our shame. When we feel shame, we pull away from others. I remember <em>making <\/em>myself make calls when I felt like: \u201cEvery other mom\u2019s better than I am,\u201d and \u201cIf I tell them the way I\u2019m acting, or even what\u2019s in my heart\u201d\u2014like I\u2019m so angry or lonely sometimes\u2014\u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be judged.\u201d Sometimes, to be the first one to say it will open this door of other women saying, \u201cMe too!\u201d And there\u2019s something really special and healing about having people open up about what they\u2019re facing, and then <em>praying<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the right kind of friend, Dave, is really important. When I would call a friend, and she would say, \u201cI know! Your husband <em>is <\/em>an idiot.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m, \u201cOkay, that may not be the best friend.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You had friends say that about me?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, it could have been a family member. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m just kidding! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I was going to say there are kind of two steps. There\u2019s one: being willing to be the first person to be vulnerable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> But then, making sure that you are being vulnerable with the kind of friend, who\u2019s going to give you the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> The world is full of all kinds of things to put our hope in: we can put our hope in the next girls\u2019 night out; or the next vacation; or one of the main ones moms hear is: \u201cDon\u2019t worry! It\u2019s just a season.\u201d And that is a little hope; that is not <em>enough<\/em> to support all the hope that we need for motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo getting a friend, who you know is going to say, \u201cI see that. I see how that was really hard; but you know what? I also see that Jesus is here with you, and He knows what it\u2019s like when your kids are just\/they [do] not listen to anything you say.\u201d [Laughter] Who knows better than Jesus about that; right?! I mean, it\u2019s like, \u201cProne to wander\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo when your kids are refusing to listen to you, a friend who says, \u201cYou know what? I think God has experienced that, too; let\u2019s pray together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; that friend, who says, \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s remember, together, what God has said about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s easy, as a guy, to think women never struggle with the loneliness; because you\u2019re so good at relationships. But you know, you watch women relate to one another; and it\u2019s like, \u201cWow! They have real friendships. We men have to initiate and struggle with that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you really do need other women. And if it\u2019s true, how do you do it, as a mom, who\u2019s overwhelmed with her schedule? How do you find time to spend some time with women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I think there are a few ways. One of the best ways to spend time with other women is to join your church Bible study. Praise the Lord for church childcare! [Laughter] Am I right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI struggled with doing that, as a young mom, because I was like, \u201cWell, I know the kids are going to have a hard day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cIt\u2019s naptime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u201cI know that the naptime will get messed up,\u201d and all this stuff. But you have to say like, \u201cI actually know that, even more than I need an <em>easy<\/em> afternoon that day, I need to be opening God\u2019s Word with other women.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the great thing about Bible study, especially if you can be involved in an intergenerational Bible study, is it opens your eyes to circumstances\u2014other women, who are in different ages and stages of life and their circumstances\u2014because when you\u2019re a mom, it can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d; you know? And it <em>is <\/em>really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women, who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I always say: have a woman in front of you, [who\u2019s] ahead of you in their life stage; have a woman beside you, who is right alongside, that you can say, \u201cOh, I know! That happened to me today\u201d; and then, I think it\u2019s really good to have someone <em>behind<\/em> you, who maybe she just had the baby, or she just got married. Because, maybe you weren\u2019t perfect in that stage, but you\u2019ve <em>learned<\/em> so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to so many older women, whose kids are gone, who feel like, \u201cI have nothing to offer. My kids are gone. I feel like my life is kind of\/the meaning of it doesn\u2019t have as much significance.\u201d I\u2019m saying, \u201cOh, you are in the peak and prime of pouring into younger women.\u201d And when they say: \u201cBut I\u2019ve been divorced,\u201d or \u201cI have kids who have rebelled,\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cAnd haven\u2019t you learned a lot from that?\u201d because Satan says to us, \u2018You\u2019re disqualified!\u2019 and God says, \u2018No, I will use all of your pain for someone else\u2019s gain if you\u2019ll let Me. Let Me heal some of those things.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Yes; we need the whole body of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> And we are <em>all <\/em>unfinished.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I just hear so much, in the ministry that I work with\u2014women going, \u201cI <em>want <\/em>a mentor! How do I <em>get<\/em> a mentor?\u201d\u2014so if you are an older woman, who\u2019s thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t have anything to offer,\u201d there is a whole generation of women, who are just recognizing the shallowness of getting mentoring on the internet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> And they\u2019re starting to say, \u201cI want someone to talk to about my <em>real <\/em>life.\u201d If you would just say, \u201cHey, would you want to meet every once in a while?\u201d that woman is going to be like, \u201cYes! I would love that! How can we do that?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, in some ways\u2014you know, reading through your book\u2014it\u2019s like these stressful standards: most of them are <em>lies<\/em>. You know, they are things that we hear\/or you hear, as a mom, from the culture and from the world. When you look at them, you are like, \u201cThat\u2019s not true\u201d; but when you connect with other women, that\u2019s what they can do; they can speak. What you\u2019re doing in your book is you\u2019re saying: \u201cThis is a lie,\u201d \u201cThis is a myth,\u201d \u201cHere's the Truth\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoy, if you\u2019re surrounding yourself\u2014same thing for guys; there\u2019s no difference\u2014and for couples\u2014to say, \u201cI need people in my life that remind me of what\u2019s true. I\u2019m buying into a lie again, and I don\u2019t even realize it. I say it out loud; and they look at me and they go, \u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> That\u2019s all discipleship is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Or if there\u2019s a hard question, like, \u201cLet\u2019s find it in the Bible together.\u201d You don\u2019t have to be able to come up with the chapter and verse off the top of your head;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cLet\u2019s look together!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I think what we can do, as women, is\u2014I\u2019ve heard so many women say to me, \u201cI\u2019m sure you don\u2019t have time\u201d; you know? I think they <em>assume<\/em> in their head: \u201cNobody would want to meet with me. If somebody <em>heard<\/em> how I\u2019m struggling, they would think I\u2019m disqualified.\u201d I would say, \u201c<em>Do not <\/em>listen to those lies; because if Satan has a plan for your life, it\u2019s that you remain isolated; you live in shame. And God is saying, \u2018No, step out!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis year, I\u2019ve been going through my one-year Bible; and every time it says, \u201cAnd they cried out to the Lord,\u201d do you know what the next sentence is?\u2014\u201cAnd He heard their cry.\u201d I would just say to you women\/to you moms: \u201cEvery single time you cry out, God hears you! So pray for a mentor; pray for a friend; pray for your kids, because God hears you. And then, if you have that urge\u2014like if somebody comes to your mind\u2014like, \u2018I would <em>love <\/em>to meet with her,\u2019 why not call? If she doesn\u2019t work, then call someone else; but keep moving, and keep finding those people who can pour into you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the simple way to do that: pick up Maggie\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Call another mom or two, and say, \u201cHey, let\u2019s go through this together.\u201d Who knows where that would lead to? You\u2019re going to talk about mom stuff; and you may end up with a really good friend, who helps you do this journey as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I <em>love<\/em> that idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I bet you do! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> I went through a season where\u2014you know, that early season of motherhood\u2014I came out, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I just said, \u201cI\u2019m <em>lonely<\/em>.\u201d And I just prayed for a friend. You know what? God gave me <em>three.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Maggie:<\/strong> Three very clear answers to prayer. One was a woman I had never met, who had recently moved to Minnesota and became one of my best friends. I saw her at Bible study; and I was like, \u201cI like your Bible.\u201d [Laughter] She\u2019s like\/kind of a Christian pickup line, I think. [Laughter] We started talking and just instantly became friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, one was a dear sister-in-law that I\u2019ve always been friends with; but we just grew closer again. And then, one was a friend across the internet. We started talking about writing; and we\u2019ve just been talking about writing ever since, and everything in life. God <em>does<\/em> answer that prayer; He wants us to be in fellowship with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you find yourself struggling in all that is involved in motherhood, maybe one of the issues is you\u2019re isolated. You don\u2019t have the help and the support you need from other moms; you don\u2019t have other women you can lean on, who will tell you, \u201cI\u2019m struggling with that too,\u201d or \u201cHere\u2019s something I\u2019ve found that works there.\u201d Being a mom was never designed to be done in isolation; we <em>need<\/em> one another in this journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something that Maggie Combs addresses in her book, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules. <\/em>It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> book to help free you up from some of the preconceptions you might have about what it means to be a good mom. The subtitle of the book is <em>Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths. <\/em>We want to make this book available to you this week if you can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation. This would be a great book to give as a gift to a young mom you know, or to read through with a group of other moms, and maybe begin to cultivate some of those friendships that Maggie was talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGet your copy of <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em> when you make a donation today to help support the outreach that is <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Each day, there are hundreds of thousands of husbands and wives, moms and dads, who are connecting with us, looking for practical biblical help and hope for their marriage. You make this daily encouragement and equipping possible for them when you support this ministry. You can do that easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, when you do, ask for your copy of the book, <em>Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/em>,by Maggie Combs. Donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, all of us have heard on an airplane when they say, \u201cIf the oxygen mask drops down, put your mask on first and then put your child\u2019s mask on.\u201d Is that how it works with being a mom? Do you take care of yourself first before you take care of the kids? Dave and Ann Wilson will talk with Maggie Combs about the priority of self-care, and how that fits into being a mom, on tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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