{"id":307380,"date":"2022-01-26T08:02:08","date_gmt":"2022-01-26T13:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids\/"},"modified":"2022-01-26T08:02:08","modified_gmt":"2022-01-26T13:02:08","slug":"social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Social Media and Mental Health In Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The problem with social media and mental health is really affecting our kids, but what do we do about it?  Author, Jonathan McKee, helps parents understand the connection and how to talk to kids about it.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find Familylife.\u00a0 Leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcast.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the Familylife&#8217;s on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The problem with social media and mental health is really affecting our kids, but what do we do about it?  Author, Jonathan McKee, helps parents understand the connection and how to talk to kids about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-26.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:50","filesize":"22.74M","filesize_raw":"23841703","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,10350],"tags":[4798,4237],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3244],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307380","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-digital-and-media-choices","tag-kids","tag-technology","cwp_profile-jonathan-mckee","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307380\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307380\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"tzunuk9AeU\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids\/\">Social Media and Mental Health In Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/social-media-and-mental-health-in-kids\/embed\/#?secret=tzunuk9AeU\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Social Media and Mental Health In Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"tzunuk9AeU\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-26.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-26.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I think sometimes, as parents, we feel this pressure to block out all the bad stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Parents will sometimes walk up after my parent workshop\u2014they\u2019ll walk up to me; they\u2019ll hand me a device\u2014and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cShow me how to stop all the <em>bad stuff<\/em> from being on <em>this<\/em>. This is my daughter\u2019s phone.\u201d But honestly, it\u2019s like we get\u2014sometimes, so thinking we need to block\u2014I\u2019ll confess, I think that\u2019s where I messed up as a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, sometimes, I was so worried about blocking out the lies, where I should have been more concerned about telling the truth; like, \u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ; I no longer live but Christ lives in me [Galatians 2:20].\u201d Such a contrast to anything else they\u2019re seeing at the time; which is: \u201cLook at me. More \u2018Likes\u2019; more followers.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no; here\u2019s what matters: <em>Christ in me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re sitting by the lake\u2014family vacation\u2014we\u2019ve got our three sons and their wives. We\u2019ve got six grandkids. It\u2019s chaos, just in this little\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014little cottages that friends of us let us borrow. It\u2019s wonderful to have friends that have cottages on the lake; you know? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hanging out, and I pull out my phone. Well, to be honest, I had my phone in my hand the whole time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It could be a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; well, go ahead; [Laughter] you want to comment? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s okay; keep going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Maybe you should finish his story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Keep going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve heard this many times; it\u2019s a problem. Anyway, I was actually looking at something for my two-year-old grandson, Bryce, to look at. It was a video, and I\u2019m pulling it out. I\u2019m trying to slide it over, and he reaches over and closes the window, hits the little \u201cX\u201d on my phone. I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s barely two years old; he knows how to control a screen!\u201d I mean, I was shocked by that. Does that sound surprising to you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that every time our son calls us or FaceTimes<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with us, our grandson doesn\u2019t want to be on the phone; so he\u2019ll hit the off button so that he can\u2019t talk to us anymore. He knows where that is; like, \u201cGet off the phone, Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>All I know is, sitting there in that moment, I thought, \u201cA two-year-old is adept at this thing almost to the level that I am.\u201d I thought, \u201cIn two, or three, or four, or five years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou might be asking him questions!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I just thought, \u201cThis is the world we live in. It\u2019s wonderful in some sense, because God has given us an <em>amazing<\/em> piece of technology; but it\u2019s also very scary. As parents, and now even as grandparents, how do we navigate this digital world we live in?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got in the studio, again, with us Jonathan McKee, who\/you really committed and devoted your life, formally, as a youth pastor; because you saw this all the time. But now, I mean, I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m looking across the studio and saying, \u201cI\u2019m looking at a guy who\u2019s written over 25 books <em>about<\/em> this world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Jonathan, you\u2019re not even that old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I know; I\u2019m only 21 years old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em>; I started writing when I was in the womb. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting because, I mean, I am drawn to the topic. Because even as you talk about\/I think it\u2019s one of the things we, as parents, think is: \u201cOh, my kids know this technology better than me.\u201d I think that\u2019s why a lot of parents just hand their kids these screens; because they think, \u201cYou know it better than me. What can I possibly teach <em>you<\/em>?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally it\u2019s not the knowledge of the technology that\u2019s important; it\u2019s the <em>wisdom<\/em> behind it\/the decision-making on: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\twho they should connect with;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand how much time they should spend on this device;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand what effect it\u2019s having on them when they\u2019ve got a device in their pocket that tells them exactly how popular or unpopular they are, and they\u2019re trying to measure up to what these little numbers on this device say. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the conversations that most of us <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> having with our kids that we <em>need<\/em> to have with our kids, not about which button to push. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I wish we had a place we could go so that we could become screen wise. Oh, you know what?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Oh, wow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You\u2019re website is called becomingscreenwise.com, which is literally what we\u2019re hoping; because our kids are pretty screen wise. Again, from two\/five on up, we are often way behind the curve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to talk about a couple of books you\u2019ve written. Your latest one, <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>; which again, that\u2019s the generation; right? We\u2019re living in a world where they\u2019re <em>Generation Screen: Guiding Your Kids to be Wise in a Digital World<\/em>. That\u2019s really written to parents; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen <em>The Teens Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em>. So you\u2019ve got a book for teenagers to understand: \u201cHow do we have what we\u2019re longing for, face to face, when all we do is look at screens?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk; I mean, the world we live in is a different world than we grew up. But we are now parents and grandparents in this world. Our kids get it so well. As you\u2019ve already said, \u201cThe screen world, which is awesome, can also affect self-esteem.\u201d Social media\/the world we\u2019re living in\u2014talk about that with our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you, that\u2019s one of the reasons that I co-wrote this: <em>The Teens Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em>. The reason I wrote that book with my daughter, Alyssa, was because she had a lot to say on that. She had grown up\u2014and I told you in past shows, where she happened to be born in \u201995, which put her right in high school in the shift to social media in your pocket was happening\u2014because of that, she started to see that change in her friends; and she started to see that pressure to measure up becoming a bigger thing, because this is something that happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen she went on to work at her college in admissions. She started; her job was then to connect with high school people [who] wanted to go to college. So she\u2019s constantly with these kids now, as this young 20-something, seeing this\u2014seeing it with her group of 20-something friends; seeing it with teenagers\u2014and she had a lot to say about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that probably came up more\u2014because we brain stormed as we talked about: \u201cWhat are we going to talk about in this book?\u201d\u2014one of the things that came up more, and more, and more was how social media made us feel about ourselves. I\u2019ll give you an example\u2014she tells a story in the book\u2014this experience she had, where she went to this event with some friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere she is, a young 20-something, and they go to this fun beach event. She had been looking forward to this day with her friends. It\u2019s a beautiful day; they\u2019re going down to San Diego, and they\u2019re going to be at this beach volleyball event. They\u2019re going to be playing, and hanging out, and doing all this fun stuff together. She said the day was, and I quote her, \u201chigh jacked by Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cInstead of hanging out with each other, and just talking and everything,\u201d she says, \u201cmy friends were just <em>buried<\/em> in their phones the <em>entire<\/em> day.\u201d She said, \u201cInstead of just enjoying the event, the day was more about getting the perfect picture <em>of<\/em> the event and then posting that picture right then.\u201d \u201cOh wait, this one isn\u2019t\u2026\u201d; you know? She just said, \u201cThe day literally was a catastrophe.\u201d She describes how the day went out: it ended with her going home, looking at her phone, and throwing it across the room, and just bursting into tears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was that that literally catalyzed her decision to actually take an Instagram fast. She says straight up, \u201cInstagram is not bad; it\u2019s not evil,\u201d but for her, it just constantly made her compare. She said, \u201cComparison is the thief of joy.\u201d That\u2019s fascinating; because it really brings up this subject that\u2019s a very real issue for teens today\u2014and we, as parents, are probably seeing it\u2014and that is: \u201cHow much does social media affecting how they feel about themselves?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and you know, the world that we lived in, that didn\u2019t really exist. You were around people at school; you were around people maybe in the workplace\u2014you sort of had this separation\u2014when you got in your car and drove away, that sort of ended. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today, a kid at school, who [is] maybe feeling some pressure\/peer pressure, or even bullying, or feeling \u201cless than,\u201d doesn\u2019t get to separate. There\u2019s not: \u201cThe bell rings; I go home; I got to deal with this again tomorrow when I walk back onto the playground,\u201d or whatever. It goes with\u2014it\u2019s in their pocket\u2014they <em>never<\/em> get away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> All that drama\u2014we <em>felt<\/em> it when we were in high school, those of us who were before this age\u2014and it was there. But there was kind of some safety when that bell rang. There was safety when you finally left that soccer practice and you went home, hopefully; and you didn\u2019t have to face it, at least, until the next morning at like 7:43 a.m.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when that bell rings at 2:30 in the afternoon, we enter a whole different world, where now the amount of friends we have is represented by a <em>number<\/em>; how many followers we have is represented right there by a number. If you say something that\u2019s noteworthy or liked, it will tell you how liked it is\u2014there it is\u2014there\u2019s a number that tells you how liked it was or <em>un-liked<\/em> it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> That\u2019s a lot of pressure on young people. We\u2019re seeing that kind of pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, a CEO of Instagram tried something unique, where you couldn\u2019t see the \u201cLikes\u201d that people posted there. He wanted to try it. A bunch of\u2014actually, celebrities particularly in the hip hop world\u2014were like, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to even do Instagram anymore if you take that away, because they need to see how many we have in it.\u201d He got all kinds of flack for it, and it never ended up going through. But he, at the time, said \u201cI\u2019m trying to relieve some\u201d\u2014and this isn\u2019t an exact quote; I don\u2019t have it in front of me, but he basically said something like\u2014\u201cThis is creating a very pressurized environment for young people, and I\u2019m trying to create some relief here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish they would have done that, because it\u2019s affecting the way young people feel about themselves. I\u2019m going to go as far as to say, especially young girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Talk about depression\/suicide because I talk to so many parents with teenaged kids that are <em>really struggling<\/em> with anxiety, depression, suicide tendencies. Is this attributing to that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s funny, because so many experts were scratching their heads and looking at some of these numbers. In past shows, we talked about how the uptick in some of these\u2014when it comes to anxiety, depression, suicide\u2014we\u2019re seeing that go <em>up<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Specifically, a report from the US Department of Health and Human Services revealed that suicide rates among Americans, aged 10 to 24, increased\u2014ready for this?\u201456 percent between 2007 and 2017. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow anybody that studies technology goes, \u201cTing!\u201d\u20142007 is the year the iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> was introduced\u2014by 2012, we had crossed the 50 percent mark for having those things in our pockets. So by 2017, we now had Instagram and Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in our back pockets, statistically, for 5 years now. I mean, we really started to see, literally from 2012, is when we <em>really<\/em> started to see this take off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow there\u2019s a lot of debate. Some experts are saying, \u201cHey, watch screen time. You\u2019ve got to watch this screen time, having the screen in your pocket.\u201d There was so much debate that I\u2019ve got to throw respect out there for two researchers, Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. Jonathan Haidt. Some of us might actually know Dr. Jonathan Haidt if we watched that Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> documentary about screen time. So many of us have seen that: <em>The Social Dilemma.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>The Social Dilemma<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes, he was the one [who] was talking about self-esteem, and those number charts were going up as he was talking. That little girl, who looked in the mirror and felt self-conscious about a part of her body; and she started feeling\u2014it was an amazing scene\u2014he was the one talking there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and Dr. Jean Twenge, who is the author of <em>iGen<\/em>\u2014the two of them\u2014were like, \u201cOkay; obviously, there\u2019s so much research out there about screens and screen time. Let\u2019s find out what we all agree on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is very fascinating; because basically, in short, you\u2019ve got all kinds of parents going, \u201cHey, I need to start watching how much time my kids are video gaming\u201d; right? \u201cMy daughter\u2019s spending so much time watching Netflix that she\u2019s watching entire seasons of shows in one day\u201d; as if we don\u2019t ever binge Netflix; right? [Laughter] People are starting to say, \u201cThis is affecting us\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo these two researchers said, \u201cLet\u2019s see; is it affecting us?\u201d That was the question they asked. Right as COVID is happening, they literally concluded their data in the middle of 2020; and they put all the data together. All these researchers put their data in\u2014all these studies about screen time, and social media, and everything\u2014basically they said, \u201cWhat do we agree on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is fascinating; the researchers came up with <em>two<\/em> things they absolutely agree on: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe first thing they agree on was, hands down, we are in an unprecedented mental health crisis right now; it\u2019s worse than it\u2019s ever been before. That\u2019s one thing they all agreed on. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the other things they couldn\u2019t agree on was: \u201cWell, what\u2019s the why?\u201d Guess what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe second thing they agreed on is this: \u201cIf you look at all of screen time, and try to cast some blame, the evidence is really weak and inconsistent. But if you narrow the study down to just social media, especially young girls, the data is consistent and very conclusive that the amount of social media time someone spends affects their mental health <em>big<\/em> time.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, these researchers went on to actually recommend: \u201cParents, pay attention to how much time they\u2019re spending on places online, where they are getting \u2018Likes\u2019 and \u2018Followers\u2019; and they\u2019re being rated by the things they do\/by their performance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about this: this isn\u2019t just Instagram and TikTok<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; this is if your kid wants a YouTube channel\u2014and all of a sudden, they start doing Legos on YouTube or they start doing something on YouTube\u2014and immediately, they\u2019re: \u201cHow many people follow me?\u201d \u201cHow many people like me?\u201d So yes, even YouTube. Whenever someone is putting themselves out there, and being rated and being liked, they said limit that to just one or two hours a day. As a matter of fact, they went and gave specific recommendations of things you should do; <em>fascinating<\/em> study. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my chapter in <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>, I talk about that\u2014and \u201cWhat can we do as parents?\u201d\u2014because this is something we need to watch. Believe it or not, it\u2019s not the amount of time they spend streaming Netflix. Now, granted there are studies out there, that if your kid games, for example, 12 hours a day, there can be some consequences; because if your kid doesn\u2019t go outside, he\u2019s more likely to be obese\/more likely to have sleep problems. I mean, there\u2019s all kinds of stuff like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying \u201cLet your kid game as much as they want.\u201d They\u2019re just saying, when it comes to this mental health crisis, and people are trying to look for what\u2019s causing it, they narrowed down on: \u201cThis social media is <em>definitely<\/em> affecting us; especially, our daughters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, your daughter mentions that in the book\u2014that she walked through a real struggle\u2014talk about that, as a dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s funny how much I saw that. I, having a son and having two daughters, I saw my son <em>constantly<\/em> being sucked in by gaming. I\u2019m not saying that \u201cNo girls game\u201d; there are girl gamers. But literally, when you look at the Common Sense Media reports, about the hours per day on average, young boys average over an hour where young girls average like 17 minutes a day or something like that; I mean, it\u2019s very small by comparison. You see gaming affecting young guys way more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see social media kind of drawing in\u2014and granted, all kids <em>love<\/em> social media\u2014but girls in particular seem to sucked into that a little bit more. They get caught up in the drama a little bit more, and really focusing on the: \u201cWell, I just posted this picture of my dog; and I saw Taylor posted a picture of her dog. She got 467 \u2018Likes\u2019 but I only got 62 \u2018Likes.\u2019 Why did she get 4\u2026I mean, why?\u201d All of a sudden, she starts feeling <em>bad<\/em> about herself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it comes down to it\u2014and we\u2019ve all heard those stories\u2014but to also see the research is saying, \u201cYes, this is affecting our daughters; and we need to monitor how much time they\u2019re spending on social media, because they\u2019re feeling bad about themselves.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us, as parents, sometimes that means simple helpful boundaries; like: \u201cNo Tech Zones\u201d in the house: \u201cNo tech at the table\u201d for example. Having family dinner be a place where screens are not\u2014Dad, no screen out; Mom, no screen out; put it away!\u2014you don\u2019t need work to reach you during that half hour. Have that be a cherished time where\u2014guess what?\u2014face-to-face connection is happening in a screen-to-screen world, where you\u2019re just <em>talking<\/em> with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to start being pro-active about creating some of these conversation moments in our home, and teach our kids how to actually have a conversation, and that they don\u2019t need to be staring at that device 24\/7 to get any sort of gratification about who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love that you talk about how important that relationship is with our kids\u2014that we\u2019re constantly having that dialogue, where we want to know them\/we want them to know us\u2014I think that\u2019s so critical today. It\u2019s not happening as much because we are on our screens\u2014all of us\u2014including parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I think sometimes, as parents, we feel this pressure to block out all the bad stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Parents will sometimes walk up after my parent workshop\u2014they\u2019ll walk up to me; they\u2019ll hand me a device\u2014and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cShow me how to stop all the <em>bad stuff<\/em> from being on <em>this<\/em>. This is my daughter\u2019s phone.\u201d And they expect me to nerd out and: [sounding like a robot] \u201cOkay, so at first, you go to the settings; and then you take this and you block out\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, it\u2019s like we get sometimes so thinking we need to block\u2014and I\u2019ll confess; I think that\u2019s where I messed up as a parent\u2014I think that\u2019s one of the <em>many areas<\/em> where I messed up is I think, sometimes, I was so worried about blocking out the lies, where I should have been more concerned about telling the truth. I think I should have been more focused on sharing the truth with our kids. Sometimes, as parents, we feel so ill equipped to have these conversations with our kids; we\u2019re like, \u201cOkay, how can I tell them about all this stuff being bad?\u201d Don\u2019t even go there; open up God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring COVID, I remember meeting with a bunch of families in the neighborhood; and we started having COVID church. It was by a pond outside, because it was summer; and it was by a barn so we called it \u201cBarn Church.\u201d For Barn Church, we\u2019d sit; and we\u2019d social distance; and put our lawn chairs out; and there\u2019s a beautiful breeze. We just started going through Scripture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLiterally, I was kind of the minister there; they were like, \u201cJonathan, do a little talk\u201d; so I started doing these ten-minute talks. The kids <em>loved<\/em> it: \u201cTen-minute talks.\u201d They were like, \u201cI wish all sermons were this <em>short<\/em>; this would be great!\u201d I would do these ten-minute talks, and we started going through the Beatitudes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what\u2019s interesting about this? As we\u2019re going through the Beatitudes, and we\u2019re going through Jesus\u2019s teaching about how we don\u2019t need to be worried about status, or money, or any of this; but instead this kingdom living is this living where, all of a sudden, we\u2019re humble; we\u2019re compassionate. He starts painting this different picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was interesting is kids were kind of listening to this\u2014and they\u2019re going, \u201cWow, that\u2019s a different kind of teaching,\u201d\u2014which by the way, it was. A couple of thousand years ago, it was a different kind of teaching too. \u201cThat\u2019s different. You mean I don\u2019t have to worry about how popular I am? I don\u2019t have to worry about how much money I make? Funny, because every song I\u2019m listening to talks about how much money I make and how popular I am.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re making those connections in their head. I never had to say, \u201cBy the way, the most recent song, as you know, talks about\u2026.\u201d I didn\u2019t even have to do that; they were thinking it, because they were sitting there, seeing the truth. The more we tell our kids the truth, the more they\u2019ll recognize the lies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s really good. I\u2019m thinking of the Beatitudes of Matthew 5:3: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit\u201d\u2014I think about the kid that feels rejected, or they didn\u2019t get all the \u201cLikes\u201d\u2014\u201cfor theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d That\u2019s what I think as we finish up this day. For us to speak truth to our kids of their identity in Christ\u2014that He has knit us together in our mother\u2019s womb; we are fearfully and wonderfully made\u2014to give our kids something <em>bigger<\/em> to live for; to be looking at our culture and say, \u201cHow can we pray about this?\u201d I think that\u2019s the power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can be so caught up in what we shouldn\u2019t do, or what we shouldn\u2019t allow our kids to do; but we have so much power and influence, even with our kids\/our teen kids. They want to know: \u201cDo we care? Do we hear them? Do we see them? Are we listening to them?\u201d\u00a0 We have way more power than we realize as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think, as your title of your book says, that needs to be done, face to face, looking across the dinner table; or a family room; or sitting in your car with your son or daughter, looking them in the eye and speaking life rather than\u2014you could text it; that\u2019s good\u2014but it\u2019s not as good as face to face, and you can really make a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You know, when kids are hearing truth like\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ; I no longer live but Christ lives in me, [Galatians 2:20]\u201d\u2014such a contrast to anything else they\u2019re seeing at the time; which is, \u201cLook at me. More \u2018Likes\u2019\/more \u2018followers.\u2019\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no; here\u2019s what matters: <em>Christ in me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is not unusual for teenagers to reach a point, where they start to push away from us as parents. They are developing their independence; they want to make their own decisions and call their own shots. As parents, it\u2019s easy for us to go, \u201cWell, I guess they\u2019ve got this. I guess I need to back off.\u201d I think what we\u2019ve been hearing this week is: \u201cNo, we need to stay engaged. And even when they may be pushing back, we need to say, \u2018I\u2019m going to walk through this with you,\u2019 whether it\u2019s issues related to screens and digital life or <em>any<\/em> issue your child is facing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan McKee has written a helpful guide for us, as parents, to coach us on how to think about how we parent Generation Screen; it\u2019s called <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>. We\u2019re making this book available this week to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener who would like a copy. We\u2019re just asking that you would make a donation to support the ongoing work of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We exist to provide you with the kind of practical biblical help and hope you\u2019re looking for in your marriage, in you parenting, in all of your relationships\/your extended family relationships. We want Jesus to be at the center of that for you, and we want to help you think through how to live out your faith in your relationships with other family members. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe folks who make that possible are the listeners, just like you, who say, \u201cI believe in the mission. You have helped me, and I want to help others.\u201d When you make a donation online, or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate, that\u2019s where your money\u2019s going. You\u2019re helping us reach more people, more often, with biblical truth about marriage and family. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Again, ask for your copy of <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em> by Jonathan McKee when you donate; and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention, Jonathan has also written a book for teens called <em>The Teen\u2019s Guide to Face-to-Face Connection in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em> to help them think through how they\u2019re going to navigate the digital world. Maybe a good book for all of you to go through together. Again, check that book out on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019ve not been to our website recently, let me encourage you to stop by and visit FamilyLifeToday.com. We have archives of thousands of past programs you can listen to on demand; you can download for free. We want our website to be a place where you can come regularly to find the answers to the questions you have about how you can build a strong, thriving marriage and family. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to learn more. Anytime you have question about a marriage or family-related issue, stop by our website; use the search engine and find articles, past programs, or resources we have available to help you with the issues you\u2019re facing in your marriage and family. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear\/we\u2019re going to hear a God story. I think all of us have our own God story, how God has been at work in our lives\/how He has shaped the circumstances and events of our lives. We\u2019re going to hear tomorrow from Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott and hear some remarkable ways that God has directed their lives. I think you\u2019re going to find this very interesting. I hope you can join us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:24:50"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.74M"],"filesize_raw":["23841703"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307380.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307380.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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problem with social media and mental health is really affecting our kids, but what do we do about it? Author, Jonathan McKee, helps parents understand the connection and how to talk to kids about it.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I think sometimes, as parents, we feel this pressure to block out all the bad stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Parents will sometimes walk up after my parent workshop\u2014they\u2019ll walk up to me; they\u2019ll hand me a device\u2014and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cShow me how to stop all the <em>bad stuff<\/em> from being on <em>this<\/em>. This is my daughter\u2019s phone.\u201d But honestly, it\u2019s like we get\u2014sometimes, so thinking we need to block\u2014I\u2019ll confess, I think that\u2019s where I messed up as a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, sometimes, I was so worried about blocking out the lies, where I should have been more concerned about telling the truth; like, \u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ; I no longer live but Christ lives in me [Galatians 2:20].\u201d Such a contrast to anything else they\u2019re seeing at the time; which is: \u201cLook at me. More \u2018Likes\u2019; more followers.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no; here\u2019s what matters: <em>Christ in me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re sitting by the lake\u2014family vacation\u2014we\u2019ve got our three sons and their wives. We\u2019ve got six grandkids. It\u2019s chaos, just in this little\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014little cottages that friends of us let us borrow. It\u2019s wonderful to have friends that have cottages on the lake; you know? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hanging out, and I pull out my phone. Well, to be honest, I had my phone in my hand the whole time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It could be a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; well, go ahead; [Laughter] you want to comment? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s okay; keep going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Maybe you should finish his story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Keep going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve heard this many times; it\u2019s a problem. Anyway, I was actually looking at something for my two-year-old grandson, Bryce, to look at. It was a video, and I\u2019m pulling it out. I\u2019m trying to slide it over, and he reaches over and closes the window, hits the little \u201cX\u201d on my phone. I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s barely two years old; he knows how to control a screen!\u201d I mean, I was shocked by that. Does that sound surprising to you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that every time our son calls us or FaceTimes<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with us, our grandson doesn\u2019t want to be on the phone; so he\u2019ll hit the off button so that he can\u2019t talk to us anymore. He knows where that is; like, \u201cGet off the phone, Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>All I know is, sitting there in that moment, I thought, \u201cA two-year-old is adept at this thing almost to the level that I am.\u201d I thought, \u201cIn two, or three, or four, or five years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou might be asking him questions!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I just thought, \u201cThis is the world we live in. It\u2019s wonderful in some sense, because God has given us an <em>amazing<\/em> piece of technology; but it\u2019s also very scary. As parents, and now even as grandparents, how do we navigate this digital world we live in?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got in the studio, again, with us Jonathan McKee, who\/you really committed and devoted your life, formally, as a youth pastor; because you saw this all the time. But now, I mean, I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m looking across the studio and saying, \u201cI\u2019m looking at a guy who\u2019s written over 25 books <em>about<\/em> this world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Jonathan, you\u2019re not even that old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I know; I\u2019m only 21 years old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em>; I started writing when I was in the womb. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting because, I mean, I am drawn to the topic. Because even as you talk about\/I think it\u2019s one of the things we, as parents, think is: \u201cOh, my kids know this technology better than me.\u201d I think that\u2019s why a lot of parents just hand their kids these screens; because they think, \u201cYou know it better than me. What can I possibly teach <em>you<\/em>?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally it\u2019s not the knowledge of the technology that\u2019s important; it\u2019s the <em>wisdom<\/em> behind it\/the decision-making on: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\twho they should connect with;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand how much time they should spend on this device;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand what effect it\u2019s having on them when they\u2019ve got a device in their pocket that tells them exactly how popular or unpopular they are, and they\u2019re trying to measure up to what these little numbers on this device say. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the conversations that most of us <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> having with our kids that we <em>need<\/em> to have with our kids, not about which button to push. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I wish we had a place we could go so that we could become screen wise. Oh, you know what?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Oh, wow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You\u2019re website is called becomingscreenwise.com, which is literally what we\u2019re hoping; because our kids are pretty screen wise. Again, from two\/five on up, we are often way behind the curve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to talk about a couple of books you\u2019ve written. Your latest one, <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>; which again, that\u2019s the generation; right? We\u2019re living in a world where they\u2019re <em>Generation Screen: Guiding Your Kids to be Wise in a Digital World<\/em>. That\u2019s really written to parents; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen <em>The Teens Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em>. So you\u2019ve got a book for teenagers to understand: \u201cHow do we have what we\u2019re longing for, face to face, when all we do is look at screens?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk; I mean, the world we live in is a different world than we grew up. But we are now parents and grandparents in this world. Our kids get it so well. As you\u2019ve already said, \u201cThe screen world, which is awesome, can also affect self-esteem.\u201d Social media\/the world we\u2019re living in\u2014talk about that with our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you, that\u2019s one of the reasons that I co-wrote this: <em>The Teens Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em>. The reason I wrote that book with my daughter, Alyssa, was because she had a lot to say on that. She had grown up\u2014and I told you in past shows, where she happened to be born in \u201995, which put her right in high school in the shift to social media in your pocket was happening\u2014because of that, she started to see that change in her friends; and she started to see that pressure to measure up becoming a bigger thing, because this is something that happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen she went on to work at her college in admissions. She started; her job was then to connect with high school people [who] wanted to go to college. So she\u2019s constantly with these kids now, as this young 20-something, seeing this\u2014seeing it with her group of 20-something friends; seeing it with teenagers\u2014and she had a lot to say about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that probably came up more\u2014because we brain stormed as we talked about: \u201cWhat are we going to talk about in this book?\u201d\u2014one of the things that came up more, and more, and more was how social media made us feel about ourselves. I\u2019ll give you an example\u2014she tells a story in the book\u2014this experience she had, where she went to this event with some friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere she is, a young 20-something, and they go to this fun beach event. She had been looking forward to this day with her friends. It\u2019s a beautiful day; they\u2019re going down to San Diego, and they\u2019re going to be at this beach volleyball event. They\u2019re going to be playing, and hanging out, and doing all this fun stuff together. She said the day was, and I quote her, \u201chigh jacked by Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cInstead of hanging out with each other, and just talking and everything,\u201d she says, \u201cmy friends were just <em>buried<\/em> in their phones the <em>entire<\/em> day.\u201d She said, \u201cInstead of just enjoying the event, the day was more about getting the perfect picture <em>of<\/em> the event and then posting that picture right then.\u201d \u201cOh wait, this one isn\u2019t\u2026\u201d; you know? She just said, \u201cThe day literally was a catastrophe.\u201d She describes how the day went out: it ended with her going home, looking at her phone, and throwing it across the room, and just bursting into tears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was that that literally catalyzed her decision to actually take an Instagram fast. She says straight up, \u201cInstagram is not bad; it\u2019s not evil,\u201d but for her, it just constantly made her compare. She said, \u201cComparison is the thief of joy.\u201d That\u2019s fascinating; because it really brings up this subject that\u2019s a very real issue for teens today\u2014and we, as parents, are probably seeing it\u2014and that is: \u201cHow much does social media affecting how they feel about themselves?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and you know, the world that we lived in, that didn\u2019t really exist. You were around people at school; you were around people maybe in the workplace\u2014you sort of had this separation\u2014when you got in your car and drove away, that sort of ended. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today, a kid at school, who [is] maybe feeling some pressure\/peer pressure, or even bullying, or feeling \u201cless than,\u201d doesn\u2019t get to separate. There\u2019s not: \u201cThe bell rings; I go home; I got to deal with this again tomorrow when I walk back onto the playground,\u201d or whatever. It goes with\u2014it\u2019s in their pocket\u2014they <em>never<\/em> get away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> All that drama\u2014we <em>felt<\/em> it when we were in high school, those of us who were before this age\u2014and it was there. But there was kind of some safety when that bell rang. There was safety when you finally left that soccer practice and you went home, hopefully; and you didn\u2019t have to face it, at least, until the next morning at like 7:43 a.m.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when that bell rings at 2:30 in the afternoon, we enter a whole different world, where now the amount of friends we have is represented by a <em>number<\/em>; how many followers we have is represented right there by a number. If you say something that\u2019s noteworthy or liked, it will tell you how liked it is\u2014there it is\u2014there\u2019s a number that tells you how liked it was or <em>un-liked<\/em> it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> That\u2019s a lot of pressure on young people. We\u2019re seeing that kind of pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, a CEO of Instagram tried something unique, where you couldn\u2019t see the \u201cLikes\u201d that people posted there. He wanted to try it. A bunch of\u2014actually, celebrities particularly in the hip hop world\u2014were like, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to even do Instagram anymore if you take that away, because they need to see how many we have in it.\u201d He got all kinds of flack for it, and it never ended up going through. But he, at the time, said \u201cI\u2019m trying to relieve some\u201d\u2014and this isn\u2019t an exact quote; I don\u2019t have it in front of me, but he basically said something like\u2014\u201cThis is creating a very pressurized environment for young people, and I\u2019m trying to create some relief here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish they would have done that, because it\u2019s affecting the way young people feel about themselves. I\u2019m going to go as far as to say, especially young girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Talk about depression\/suicide because I talk to so many parents with teenaged kids that are <em>really struggling<\/em> with anxiety, depression, suicide tendencies. Is this attributing to that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s funny, because so many experts were scratching their heads and looking at some of these numbers. In past shows, we talked about how the uptick in some of these\u2014when it comes to anxiety, depression, suicide\u2014we\u2019re seeing that go <em>up<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Specifically, a report from the US Department of Health and Human Services revealed that suicide rates among Americans, aged 10 to 24, increased\u2014ready for this?\u201456 percent between 2007 and 2017. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow anybody that studies technology goes, \u201cTing!\u201d\u20142007 is the year the iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> was introduced\u2014by 2012, we had crossed the 50 percent mark for having those things in our pockets. So by 2017, we now had Instagram and Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in our back pockets, statistically, for 5 years now. I mean, we really started to see, literally from 2012, is when we <em>really<\/em> started to see this take off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow there\u2019s a lot of debate. Some experts are saying, \u201cHey, watch screen time. You\u2019ve got to watch this screen time, having the screen in your pocket.\u201d There was so much debate that I\u2019ve got to throw respect out there for two researchers, Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. Jonathan Haidt. Some of us might actually know Dr. Jonathan Haidt if we watched that Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> documentary about screen time. So many of us have seen that: <em>The Social Dilemma.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>The Social Dilemma<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes, he was the one [who] was talking about self-esteem, and those number charts were going up as he was talking. That little girl, who looked in the mirror and felt self-conscious about a part of her body; and she started feeling\u2014it was an amazing scene\u2014he was the one talking there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and Dr. Jean Twenge, who is the author of <em>iGen<\/em>\u2014the two of them\u2014were like, \u201cOkay; obviously, there\u2019s so much research out there about screens and screen time. Let\u2019s find out what we all agree on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is very fascinating; because basically, in short, you\u2019ve got all kinds of parents going, \u201cHey, I need to start watching how much time my kids are video gaming\u201d; right? \u201cMy daughter\u2019s spending so much time watching Netflix that she\u2019s watching entire seasons of shows in one day\u201d; as if we don\u2019t ever binge Netflix; right? [Laughter] People are starting to say, \u201cThis is affecting us\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo these two researchers said, \u201cLet\u2019s see; is it affecting us?\u201d That was the question they asked. Right as COVID is happening, they literally concluded their data in the middle of 2020; and they put all the data together. All these researchers put their data in\u2014all these studies about screen time, and social media, and everything\u2014basically they said, \u201cWhat do we agree on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is fascinating; the researchers came up with <em>two<\/em> things they absolutely agree on: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe first thing they agree on was, hands down, we are in an unprecedented mental health crisis right now; it\u2019s worse than it\u2019s ever been before. That\u2019s one thing they all agreed on. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the other things they couldn\u2019t agree on was: \u201cWell, what\u2019s the why?\u201d Guess what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe second thing they agreed on is this: \u201cIf you look at all of screen time, and try to cast some blame, the evidence is really weak and inconsistent. But if you narrow the study down to just social media, especially young girls, the data is consistent and very conclusive that the amount of social media time someone spends affects their mental health <em>big<\/em> time.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, these researchers went on to actually recommend: \u201cParents, pay attention to how much time they\u2019re spending on places online, where they are getting \u2018Likes\u2019 and \u2018Followers\u2019; and they\u2019re being rated by the things they do\/by their performance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about this: this isn\u2019t just Instagram and TikTok<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; this is if your kid wants a YouTube channel\u2014and all of a sudden, they start doing Legos on YouTube or they start doing something on YouTube\u2014and immediately, they\u2019re: \u201cHow many people follow me?\u201d \u201cHow many people like me?\u201d So yes, even YouTube. Whenever someone is putting themselves out there, and being rated and being liked, they said limit that to just one or two hours a day. As a matter of fact, they went and gave specific recommendations of things you should do; <em>fascinating<\/em> study. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my chapter in <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>, I talk about that\u2014and \u201cWhat can we do as parents?\u201d\u2014because this is something we need to watch. Believe it or not, it\u2019s not the amount of time they spend streaming Netflix. Now, granted there are studies out there, that if your kid games, for example, 12 hours a day, there can be some consequences; because if your kid doesn\u2019t go outside, he\u2019s more likely to be obese\/more likely to have sleep problems. I mean, there\u2019s all kinds of stuff like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying \u201cLet your kid game as much as they want.\u201d They\u2019re just saying, when it comes to this mental health crisis, and people are trying to look for what\u2019s causing it, they narrowed down on: \u201cThis social media is <em>definitely<\/em> affecting us; especially, our daughters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, your daughter mentions that in the book\u2014that she walked through a real struggle\u2014talk about that, as a dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s funny how much I saw that. I, having a son and having two daughters, I saw my son <em>constantly<\/em> being sucked in by gaming. I\u2019m not saying that \u201cNo girls game\u201d; there are girl gamers. But literally, when you look at the Common Sense Media reports, about the hours per day on average, young boys average over an hour where young girls average like 17 minutes a day or something like that; I mean, it\u2019s very small by comparison. You see gaming affecting young guys way more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see social media kind of drawing in\u2014and granted, all kids <em>love<\/em> social media\u2014but girls in particular seem to sucked into that a little bit more. They get caught up in the drama a little bit more, and really focusing on the: \u201cWell, I just posted this picture of my dog; and I saw Taylor posted a picture of her dog. She got 467 \u2018Likes\u2019 but I only got 62 \u2018Likes.\u2019 Why did she get 4\u2026I mean, why?\u201d All of a sudden, she starts feeling <em>bad<\/em> about herself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it comes down to it\u2014and we\u2019ve all heard those stories\u2014but to also see the research is saying, \u201cYes, this is affecting our daughters; and we need to monitor how much time they\u2019re spending on social media, because they\u2019re feeling bad about themselves.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us, as parents, sometimes that means simple helpful boundaries; like: \u201cNo Tech Zones\u201d in the house: \u201cNo tech at the table\u201d for example. Having family dinner be a place where screens are not\u2014Dad, no screen out; Mom, no screen out; put it away!\u2014you don\u2019t need work to reach you during that half hour. Have that be a cherished time where\u2014guess what?\u2014face-to-face connection is happening in a screen-to-screen world, where you\u2019re just <em>talking<\/em> with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to start being pro-active about creating some of these conversation moments in our home, and teach our kids how to actually have a conversation, and that they don\u2019t need to be staring at that device 24\/7 to get any sort of gratification about who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love that you talk about how important that relationship is with our kids\u2014that we\u2019re constantly having that dialogue, where we want to know them\/we want them to know us\u2014I think that\u2019s so critical today. It\u2019s not happening as much because we are on our screens\u2014all of us\u2014including parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I think sometimes, as parents, we feel this pressure to block out all the bad stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Parents will sometimes walk up after my parent workshop\u2014they\u2019ll walk up to me; they\u2019ll hand me a device\u2014and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cShow me how to stop all the <em>bad stuff<\/em> from being on <em>this<\/em>. This is my daughter\u2019s phone.\u201d And they expect me to nerd out and: [sounding like a robot] \u201cOkay, so at first, you go to the settings; and then you take this and you block out\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, it\u2019s like we get sometimes so thinking we need to block\u2014and I\u2019ll confess; I think that\u2019s where I messed up as a parent\u2014I think that\u2019s one of the <em>many areas<\/em> where I messed up is I think, sometimes, I was so worried about blocking out the lies, where I should have been more concerned about telling the truth. I think I should have been more focused on sharing the truth with our kids. Sometimes, as parents, we feel so ill equipped to have these conversations with our kids; we\u2019re like, \u201cOkay, how can I tell them about all this stuff being bad?\u201d Don\u2019t even go there; open up God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring COVID, I remember meeting with a bunch of families in the neighborhood; and we started having COVID church. It was by a pond outside, because it was summer; and it was by a barn so we called it \u201cBarn Church.\u201d For Barn Church, we\u2019d sit; and we\u2019d social distance; and put our lawn chairs out; and there\u2019s a beautiful breeze. We just started going through Scripture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLiterally, I was kind of the minister there; they were like, \u201cJonathan, do a little talk\u201d; so I started doing these ten-minute talks. The kids <em>loved<\/em> it: \u201cTen-minute talks.\u201d They were like, \u201cI wish all sermons were this <em>short<\/em>; this would be great!\u201d I would do these ten-minute talks, and we started going through the Beatitudes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what\u2019s interesting about this? As we\u2019re going through the Beatitudes, and we\u2019re going through Jesus\u2019s teaching about how we don\u2019t need to be worried about status, or money, or any of this; but instead this kingdom living is this living where, all of a sudden, we\u2019re humble; we\u2019re compassionate. He starts painting this different picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was interesting is kids were kind of listening to this\u2014and they\u2019re going, \u201cWow, that\u2019s a different kind of teaching,\u201d\u2014which by the way, it was. A couple of thousand years ago, it was a different kind of teaching too. \u201cThat\u2019s different. You mean I don\u2019t have to worry about how popular I am? I don\u2019t have to worry about how much money I make? Funny, because every song I\u2019m listening to talks about how much money I make and how popular I am.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re making those connections in their head. I never had to say, \u201cBy the way, the most recent song, as you know, talks about\u2026.\u201d I didn\u2019t even have to do that; they were thinking it, because they were sitting there, seeing the truth. The more we tell our kids the truth, the more they\u2019ll recognize the lies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s really good. I\u2019m thinking of the Beatitudes of Matthew 5:3: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit\u201d\u2014I think about the kid that feels rejected, or they didn\u2019t get all the \u201cLikes\u201d\u2014\u201cfor theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d That\u2019s what I think as we finish up this day. For us to speak truth to our kids of their identity in Christ\u2014that He has knit us together in our mother\u2019s womb; we are fearfully and wonderfully made\u2014to give our kids something <em>bigger<\/em> to live for; to be looking at our culture and say, \u201cHow can we pray about this?\u201d I think that\u2019s the power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can be so caught up in what we shouldn\u2019t do, or what we shouldn\u2019t allow our kids to do; but we have so much power and influence, even with our kids\/our teen kids. They want to know: \u201cDo we care? Do we hear them? Do we see them? Are we listening to them?\u201d\u00a0 We have way more power than we realize as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think, as your title of your book says, that needs to be done, face to face, looking across the dinner table; or a family room; or sitting in your car with your son or daughter, looking them in the eye and speaking life rather than\u2014you could text it; that\u2019s good\u2014but it\u2019s not as good as face to face, and you can really make a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You know, when kids are hearing truth like\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ; I no longer live but Christ lives in me, [Galatians 2:20]\u201d\u2014such a contrast to anything else they\u2019re seeing at the time; which is, \u201cLook at me. More \u2018Likes\u2019\/more \u2018followers.\u2019\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no; here\u2019s what matters: <em>Christ in me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is not unusual for teenagers to reach a point, where they start to push away from us as parents. They are developing their independence; they want to make their own decisions and call their own shots. As parents, it\u2019s easy for us to go, \u201cWell, I guess they\u2019ve got this. I guess I need to back off.\u201d I think what we\u2019ve been hearing this week is: \u201cNo, we need to stay engaged. And even when they may be pushing back, we need to say, \u2018I\u2019m going to walk through this with you,\u2019 whether it\u2019s issues related to screens and digital life or <em>any<\/em> issue your child is facing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan McKee has written a helpful guide for us, as parents, to coach us on how to think about how we parent Generation Screen; it\u2019s called <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em>. We\u2019re making this book available this week to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener who would like a copy. We\u2019re just asking that you would make a donation to support the ongoing work of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We exist to provide you with the kind of practical biblical help and hope you\u2019re looking for in your marriage, in you parenting, in all of your relationships\/your extended family relationships. We want Jesus to be at the center of that for you, and we want to help you think through how to live out your faith in your relationships with other family members. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe folks who make that possible are the listeners, just like you, who say, \u201cI believe in the mission. You have helped me, and I want to help others.\u201d When you make a donation online, or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate, that\u2019s where your money\u2019s going. You\u2019re helping us reach more people, more often, with biblical truth about marriage and family. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Again, ask for your copy of <em>Parenting Generation Screen<\/em> by Jonathan McKee when you donate; and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention, Jonathan has also written a book for teens called <em>The Teen\u2019s Guide to Face-to-Face Connection in a Screen-to-Screen World<\/em> to help them think through how they\u2019re going to navigate the digital world. Maybe a good book for all of you to go through together. Again, check that book out on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019ve not been to our website recently, let me encourage you to stop by and visit FamilyLifeToday.com. We have archives of thousands of past programs you can listen to on demand; you can download for free. We want our website to be a place where you can come regularly to find the answers to the questions you have about how you can build a strong, thriving marriage and family. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to learn more. Anytime you have question about a marriage or family-related issue, stop by our website; use the search engine and find articles, past programs, or resources we have available to help you with the issues you\u2019re facing in your marriage and family. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear\/we\u2019re going to hear a God story. I think all of us have our own God story, how God has been at work in our lives\/how He has shaped the circumstances and events of our lives. We\u2019re going to hear tomorrow from Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott and hear some remarkable ways that God has directed their lives. I think you\u2019re going to find this very interesting. I hope you can join us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307380"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307380"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307380"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307380"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}