{"id":307375,"date":"2022-01-18T08:03:06","date_gmt":"2022-01-18T13:03:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage\/"},"modified":"2022-01-18T08:03:06","modified_gmt":"2022-01-18T13:03:06","slug":"why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Physical Health Matters for your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Could your physical health influence how you act toward your spouse? Bestselling authors Dave &amp; Ashley Willis chat about genuine change in your bodies &amp; relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:07","filesize":"27.58M","filesize_raw":"28919038","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2846,2820],"tags":[2877,7025],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9755],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307375","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-depression","category-lifelong-marriages","tag-marriage","tag-physical-health","cwp_profile-dave-and-ashley-willis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307375\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307375\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"qb6ManKqp4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage\/\">Why Physical Health Matters for your Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-physical-health-matters-for-your-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=qb6ManKqp4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Why Physical Health Matters for your Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"qb6ManKqp4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>This might sound crazy; but one of the things that I\u2019ve always appreciated that you do, Dave, is you really do take care of yourself. Even the fact that you would make an appointment; go to the doctor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You told me to. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, but you actually did it! I feel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m kidding! You didn\u2019t tell me to, but there have been times where I didn\u2019t take care\u2014I didn\u2019t get a physical\u2014but now, I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, this is something\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and that makes me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s important.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy; because I feel loved, and I feel secure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014when I\u2014what?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! Like knowing that you\u2019re taking care of yourself\/that makes me not worry about the future. That makes me think, \u201cOh, he\u2019s going to be around a little bit; because he\u2019s taking care of himself.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you\u2019re telling me that I should go play more golf? That\u2019s what I\u2019m hearing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is it physically exerting? Is that good for your heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re telling me I should go work out; that\u2019s a good thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, no; it doesn\u2019t matter to me <em>what<\/em> you do, but I do like that you\u2019re taking care of yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you think all wives feel that way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that we worry about our man\u2019s health\u2014you know?\u2014because we love you, and we want you to be around.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve got Dave and Ashley Willis back in the studio with us at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Thank you! Glad to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We are glad you guys are back. You know, many know you as the authors of <em>Naked Marriage <\/em>and the <em>Naked Marriage<\/em> podcast. And your latest book, <em>Naked and Healthy<\/em>\u2014which means you guys are health nuts; right?\u2014that means you\u2019re just nutritionists and physical specimens; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Totally!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Sometimes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Why do I feel like everyone is smirking when they look at me, saying, \u201cYou look like a heath nut\u201d? [Laughter] The irony is I\u2019m not in that great of shape; okay? [Laughter] I have love handles, and God told me to write a health book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We would never know that, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s all about baggy clothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He\u2019s in great shape. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve found that, if you wear the right shirts, you can cover a multitude of sins. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting; in this book, as we\u2019re going to talk about, you say: <em>Uncover the Lifestyle Your Mind, Body, Spirit, and Marriage Need<\/em>. We\u2019ve already talked sort of about the mind and the emotions; today\u2019s about the <em>body<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Well, let me say really quickly why this came together the way that it did anyway. It\u2019s\/folks would ask: \u201cWell, how do you have a healthy marriage?\u201d \u201cHow do you have a healthy marriage?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are all of these relationship principles that you always share; but when we really started digging into it, and researching, like: \u201cWhat is it that the couples, who are healthy in every way, what does that look like?\u201d We found, you know, what seems like would kind of be common sense: when we prioritize our own health; and we encourage one another toward healthy living, mind, body, and soul; then the health of our marriage, as a by-product, is naturally going to get healthier too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut sometimes, part of the reason why the marriage isn\u2019t healthy is because we\u2019ve neglected our own health;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014so we feel bad, physically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014so we just feel bad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> It\u2019s like we\u2019re feeling bad; we\u2019re not at our best, so we <em>can\u2019t <\/em>be the best spouse that we could be. God wants us to have a healthy life, a healthy marriage\u2014it\u2019s mind, body, and soul; and if we\u2019ll do those things, while at the same time, prioritizing our marriage\u2014then we\u2019re both going to be at our best. That was the goal behind the book: is helping both spouses be at their best, individually, and learning the principles, where they could learn to do that together within marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean, we\u2019ve read it; it\u2019s a fantastic book. Everything you do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, we <em>love<\/em> everything you\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We were on your podcast a few months ago, and we love you guys and what you\u2019re doing. You\u2019re really helping marriages, not just here, but everywhere in the world. It\u2019s pretty exciting!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> We want to be like you guys! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes, like you guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You\u2019re role models. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I do want to say something, because it is a pretty cool week for our listeners. Our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways with FamilyLife are, right now, half price. There are 60 of them coming up this spring. We talk about this kind of stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, there\u2019s a session on the physical in the weekend, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014the intimacy of marriage, physically\/emotionally,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014kind of like what you guys are talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And even <em>why<\/em> God instituted marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so many people are confused about: \u201cWhat does the Word of God have to say about the physical, even in a marriage?\u201d We dive into <em>everything <\/em>in that weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt changed our marriage. It was the first place, as an engaged couple we went to, where we ever got a vision for what God wanted marriage to be. We had <em>no <\/em>idea until that weekend. It\u2019s great for marriages at 20, 30, or 40 years as well. Anyway, all of that to say, \u201cYou should sign up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Half price! Come on, man: <em>half price<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Half price.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Our spring conferences are just getting going. There are going to be over 60, I think, that will be meeting around the country. This is your opportunity to pull away and really <em>invest<\/em> in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so Willises, talk about: \u201cHow does the physical impact a marriage?\u201d We\u2019re not\u2014obviously, you wrote the book\u2014it\u2019s not just about the sexual part of your marriage, but physical health\/physical everything. Talk to us about it, because we often think about mental and emotional; we think about spiritual. Often, we think the body is important; but it\u2019s not really going to impact my marriage in a great way. How does it impact?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> The biblical principle we come back to in the book\u2014and everything we do; we try to base it completely on God\u2019s Word\u2014you know, I had a preacher-mentor of mine said, \u201cNow, Dave, whenever you speak, try to use a lot of Scripture. That way you\u2019ll know at least something you said is actually <em>true<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] I always come back to that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It\u2019s true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> So I\u2019m like, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; is that his accent too? That\u2019s pretty good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> That\u2019s how he talks; that\u2019s how he talks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> So we always try to come back to Scripture. What Scripture says on this, in 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul is challenging the church in Corinth; in one of the strongest ways he says it on this topic is\/he says, \u201cHonor God with your bodies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And in the broader context, it\u2019s: \u201cYou\u2019ve been bought with a price.\u201d You know, people in Corinth were sinning sexually; getting caught up in a lot of the gluttony, and hedonism, and a lot of things of the culture. He was saying, \u201cHey guys, listen! I know these bodies are temporary, but what we do in these bodies can have an eternal significance. We\u2019re training our bodies, not just to win a trophy or a prize like the world gives out,\u201d\u2014even though there\u2019s nothing wrong with an athlete working hard to win a medal, or a trophy, or whatever\u2014he said, \u201cBut we\u2019re training our bodies because what we do <em>in these bodies <\/em>has eternal significance for God\u2019s work and God\u2019s kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us to be able to do all He\u2019s called us to do for ministry, for marriage, for our own legacy, we need to be healthy. I think we can still enjoy life. I mean, my goodness, I have good desires in this area; but when it comes to food\u2014[Laughter]\u2014let me tell you a quick example. I was in a grocery store recently, and there\u2019s something about being in a grocery store around food: my judgment just plummets. [Laughter] I\u2019m not as good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave, I am with you on this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014I ran into someone that, you know, she and I used to have an unhealthy relationship; I thought that she was just part of my past\u2014I saw her in the store, and I just felt these old feelings. Her name is Little Debbie<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter] I saw her displays, and I just\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014a lot of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was wondering, \u201cWhere are you <em>going <\/em>with that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u201cWhere is this going, Dave?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014a lot of old feelings came back, and I put a few boxes there in the cart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> There\u2019s a specific Little Debbie, though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Oatmeal cr\u00e8me pie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You took her home; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis: <\/strong>I took her home. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He took her home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I mean, I had to confess to Ashley: \u201cAshly, I brought Little Debbie home. I just want you to know.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He even\u2014guys, he even hid it in a cabinet, like in a special\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You really did?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait; this is for <em>real<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014for real, for real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No, no! No, no; I can\u2019t, because our kids eat <em>everything<\/em>! They eat so much stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> We have four boys;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> It\u2019s just a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014big appetites.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Now, when I do bring Little Debbie home, I have to hide the box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes; I get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I have a special hiding place, because they will find it; they will just find it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> They will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we try to have balance. I think, you know, some people listening might be going, like, \u201cWell, what does this even have to do with marriage?\u201d I think\u2014not only do we want to <em>feel<\/em> at our best for each other, and be at our best for each other, and to live a longer life together\u2014you know, there are a lot of things we <em>can\u2019t<\/em> control about our physical health that comes our way with different diagnoses we get or maybe a tragedy. You know, maybe we\u2019re in a terrible wreck that kind of causes us to have some permanent damage and changes we have to make in our life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about doing what <em>you<\/em> can, with the body God has given you, to be at your best; <em>but<\/em> I mean, here\u2019s the big kind of thing we need to pay attention to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Don\u2019t say the big \u201cbut.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> The big \u201cbut\u201d; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014not on this show. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> We need to pay attention to the fact that it\u2019s <em>never<\/em> our job, though, to be our spouse\u2019s critical coach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Oh, no, no, no!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And that\u2019s where we\u2019ve literally seen this one issue of physical health become <em>the thing <\/em>that causes the most marital problems: where one spouse, maybe, values physical health more than the other spouse; and they keep on being critical of their spouse\/of their spouse\u2019s body. It just makes their spouse feel less than, and it causes a lot of fights; and it causes a lot of disagreements over what food to have in the house and what routine to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I mean, it can really get out of hand. I think, for some people, this may be a minor issue; but I can\u2019t tell you how many times we\u2019ve counseled couples, where this is <em>the<\/em> issue! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that there\u2019s truth on both sides. If that\u2019s your marriage dynamic:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf maybe you\u2019re listening, and you have <em>always<\/em> been a healthy person; maybe you\u2019re an athlete, and health has been a huge part of your life; you\u2019ve always pretty much been in good shape, and it\u2019s been something that you take pride in\u2014that\u2019s awesome! That\u2019s a good thing. I mean, kudos to you for staying healthy and using the gifts that God has given you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then there are other people where, maybe they\u2019ve just not valued health as much\u2014maybe they grew up in a home, where it wasn\u2019t valued as much; or maybe they\u2019ve had bodies that don\u2019t cooperate: I mean, there are some people who aren\u2019t as coordinated, or they\u2019re not gifted physically when it comes to sports and such; or maybe their metabolism doesn\u2019t work like their spouse\u2019s, and they\u2019re constantly battling gaining weight\u2014and they\u2019re trying the best they can, but they just <em>can\u2019t<\/em> lose the weight they want to lose. You know, there are both sides to this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that what happens, when a husband and wife find themselves in this dynamic\u2014and they don\u2019t really, you know, try to look at their spouse as being just different\u2014you know, they don\u2019t\/I think sometimes they think, \u201cWell, I\u2019m right!\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cI\u2019m right; you\u2019re wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re not offering grace to the spouse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> They don\u2019t offer grace!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And that\u2019s where we see so many fights. It really can affect your sex life, majorly. I mean, if you feel your spouse doesn\u2019t like your body, and isn\u2019t attracted to you, I mean, it really kills the mood. And there are things like that. We really have to pay attention to kind of how we\u2019re approaching our spouse\u2014and what we say about their body; how we look at them\u2014if we\u2019re being critical, we need to stop!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So what do you do? I mean, if you see your spouse\u2014and again, not being super-critical like they\u2019ve just gone off the deep end, and they don\u2019t care; but if they\u2019re starting to, you think, make unhealthy choices,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014physically and with food, and you don\u2019t want to be critical; but you also want to be helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I\u2019m not talking about our marriage; I\u2019m just talking about somebody. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s talking about\/he\u2019s looking! Did you see? [Laughter] He just spied at me in the corner of his eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking Ann\u2019s felt that toward <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I haven\u2019t! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; I know there\u2019s a couple listening, or a spouse listening, going, \u201cWell, yes; but I see that he\u2019s drifting,\u201d or \u201c\u2026she\u2019s drifting. Do I say <em>nothing<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I have a friend, whose husband gave her a gym membership for Christmas. She\u2019s already been struggling, and she knows it. But for him to give that to her, she felt like, \u201cWow! He thinks I\u2019ve totally lost control.\u201d And then she gained <em>more<\/em> weight, because she felt so much <em>shame<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So don\u2019t do the gym membership? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014unless she\u2019s asked for it!\u2014yes\u2014or he\u2019s asked for it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I think, in marriage, we\u2019ve got to be each other\u2019s biggest cheerleader, not each other\u2019s biggest critic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You know, the spiritual gifts list in the Bible includes the gift of encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> But the gift of critic is <em>nowhere<\/em> in there. And some people think, in marriage, that they have this gift or this responsibility to criticize their spouse, or parent or coach their spouse. And that crushes the partnership dynamic that God intended marriage to be, so just encourage each other toward good things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t mean we put our heads in the sand\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014if a spouse is going off the deep end.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He just motioned to me. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No, no! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t see that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He did; he did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>She did, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She is the more <em>disciplined<\/em> in every part of our marriage. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think he was motioning toward me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She is the more disciplined by far; but for us, we\u2019ve just tried to like encourage each other by saying, \u201cHey, let\u2019s get in the habit together. Let\u2019s go on a walk every night,\u201d\u2014you know? \u2014which is where our best conversations happen. You know, when we can just get outside, go on a walk; we\u2019re getting some exercise together; but it\u2019s also about <em>connecting<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014instead of just saying, \u201cHey, here\u2019s a gym membership; you know, you could use it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf either one of us ever wants to make an investment in our own health, we try to always support that, even if it\u2019s a lean time, financially. If one of us says: \u201cHey, I want to get a gym membership,\u201d or \u201cI would like to, you know, buy this home equipment,\u201d\u2014or whatever it might be\u2014then it\u2019s like, \u201cWell, let\u2019s figure out a way to make that happen\u201d; because an investment in our health is <em>good<\/em>. It\u2019s going to help us be at our best, and we want to help each other be at our best. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAn image we use in the book is\u2014like if your life\/it\u2019s sort of like built on a three-legged stool\u2014and the three legs of that stool are mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. A lot of us will get two of those three right. I think, especially sometimes in Christian circles, we prioritize the two\u2014the mental and spiritual\u2014and we don\u2019t at all the physical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when we don\u2019t at all with the physical, then that table is missing a whole leg\u2014and it\u2019s going to make things wobbly, even if your heart\u2019s in the right place, your mind\u2019s in the right place, and your relationship with God\u2019s right\u2014but if you\u2019re constantly battling with the physical stuff\u2014like Ashley said: \u201cSometimes it\u2019s out of your control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> If you\u2019re dealing with an issue like cancer\u2014or my gosh, whatever issue it is\u2014as spouses, it\u2019s a <em>privilege<\/em> to just serve each other in those areas, and to carry your spouse, and hold them in their moments of weakness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike Ashley said before, as far as it depends on us, even if we <em>are<\/em> dealing with an injury\u2014and like I share I\u2019ve gone through a thyroid disorder that\u2019s kind of put my whole body out of whack and changed a lot about my life\u2014it\u2019s just you do the best you can with what you\u2019ve got.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> You do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And say, \u201cWell, one day we\u2019re going to get a new body in heaven anyway;\u201d\u2014 that will have abs; I\u2019m convinced\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cbut right now, with this one I\u2019ve got, I want it to be as healthy as I can; and let\u2019s encourage each other in that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I think one of the beautiful parts of the physical with your spouse\u2014and again, we often go right to the sexual relationship\u2014but when you\u2019re going through something physically, and you have a spouse there as your partner, what a gift! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you just said, Dave, whether it\u2019s cancer\u2014I mean, I went through a back surgery thing, where I was fighting sciatica for\u2014oh, I don\u2019t know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014seven or eight years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I kept putting off surgery; and you know, I did different things at work. But when I finally went in for surgery\u2014which, by the way, is one of the <em>best<\/em> things I\u2019ve ever done; I\u2019ve never had sciatica one second since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Awesome!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But all I can remember about that time period in my life is she was right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I had a partner sympathizing with me, understanding, supporting me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014at least, to your face. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes! I heard later, after the surgery\u2014I came home; and I\u2019m lying on the couch, like, \u201cI\u2019m going to do everything the doctor said. I\u2019m <em>never<\/em> going to get up. I\u2019m <em>never<\/em>\u2026\u201d\u2014she and my son went in the other room and just laughed! [Laughter] I heard, later, they laughed: \u201cLook at Dad! He\u2019s so\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> They\u2019re <em>mocking<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But we didn\u2019t do it to his face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s <em>compassion.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Laughing behind his back\u2014yes, I believe it\u2019s biblical and okay\u2014[Laughter]\u2014it\u2019s all in good fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And so many women would say, \u201cMy husband is such a <em>baby<\/em> when he gets sick.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I <em>am<\/em> a baby! Aren\u2019t you a baby?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I am! I\u2019m telling you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wish you could see Ashley\u2019s face right now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She just affirmed that: \u201cYou\u2019re a baby.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She broke her toe a couple weeks ago in the kitchen. She just rammed her pinky toe and snapped it in half.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014like I knew it was broken right away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I mean, <em>snapped<\/em> it. And I <em>heard<\/em> it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t notice you limp <em>at all<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No; she\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Dave would be on crutches!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because she\u2019s a <em>warrior<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She\u2019s Jason Bourne over here. [Laughter] She snapped her toe, and all she does go, \u201cUmm; well, I broke my toe.\u201d [Laughter] If it had been me, I would <em>still<\/em> be weeping\u2014gnashing of teeth, crying\u2014there\u2019d be a prayer chain; meal [train] at church. [Laughter] It\u2019s like, \u201cKeep people bringing meals.\u201d I would have milked it! But she is just so tough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that most marriages are like this: women are tougher. Men act like we\u2019re tougher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And our wives let us believe that we are, but we all know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I could not deliver a baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> <em>I <\/em>wanted an epidural for <em>her <\/em>childbirth. [Laughter] I wanted it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou ladies are just so much tougher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They\u2019re tougher. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, talk about this\u2014we don\u2019t have a lot of time left\u2014but you know, let\u2019s do talk a little bit about the sexual physical part of a marriage. And because of time, if you could say one thing, what would be the first thing\u2014maybe it\u2019s different for both of you\u2014that you would say to a couple, who say, \u201cHow could you help me in my marriage in this area? How should I think differently\/act differently? Talk to me about God\u2019s heart for the sexual aspect of our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I would say sex is important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And it needs to be happening <em>regularly. <\/em>It\u2019s going to look different for every couple. I mean, we have so many couples write us and say, \u201cHow many times a week? How many times a month should we have sex?\u201d And wanting us to give a number. I would say, \u201cYou know, we can\u2019t do that. It\u2019s different for every couple.\u201d One thing that is for sure is, as you grow older, that\u2019s going to change a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; you\u2019re sitting here with a couple that\u2019s older, so we can affirm that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Well, yes; of course! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, though, sometimes, too, we\u2019ll kind of reach some stumbling blocks, where things aren\u2019t working the same as they did, or maybe the libido has changed or something. We find where couples kind of come to a crossroads where, you know, maybe one spouse feels frustrated by it is like: \u201cYou know what? This is just it. I guess we\u2019re just never going to have sex again,\u201d or \u201c\u2026not nearly the amount we used to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would just say, \u201cLet\u2019s not make excuses. First of all, let\u2019s have compassion for each other, but let\u2019s also not make excuses. Yes, things are going to change as we get older; but sometimes, there are underlying issues.\u201d Like Dave\u2019s thyroid issue; it really affected his testosterone, just to be honest about our own situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> That\u2019s <em>personal<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He talks about it all the time. [Laughter] But he didn\u2019t just sit back and say, \u201cWell, this is just me! Guess there\u2019s nothing I can do.\u201d He did research, and he went and talked to his doctor; and he got on some supplements. He knew he wasn\u2019t feeling quite like himself. And so, I think, you know, just being <em>willing <\/em>to talk to the professionals who can maybe help you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of times, there are things\u2014especially even when it comes to energy level or, you know, our hormone levels being off\u2014there are things that we can do. You know, God gave us these amazing people, who become doctors and do all this research, and can help us in this area.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd also, <em>pray about it<\/em>! Don\u2019t be afraid to pray about your sex life; God created sex! It was completely His idea for marriage,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Thank you, Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014as a blessing and an amazing way for a married couple to connect. So don\u2019t be afraid if you\u2019re having issues in this area; pray about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Give us some application as we close, like maybe a couple things that we can do in this area that would really be beneficial to the <em>physical<\/em> part of our health.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I would say, you know, do whatever you can to support each other in your quest toward physical health. This is something I had to learn the hard way, but don\u2019t expect your spouse to do the exact same regimen that you do. I remember, early in our relationship, I did\u2014after we had, I think, our first or second child\u2014I had a little extra weight on me, and I did Weight Watchers. I was expecting Dave to know all the point system, and to do it with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was as close to divorce as we\u2019ve ever come. [Laughter] \u201cDo you know how many points are in that ice cream?\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201c<em>I don\u2019t care!\u201d<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I just\u2014I know! He was like, \u201cYou\u2019re killing the moment!\u201d; you know? But I just really was like, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to do this together. Any health thing I do, you\u2019ve got to do. Anything you do, I have to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, obviously, we want to enjoy all things in marriage together; but it doesn\u2019t mean you do the exact same thing. You know, you can encourage each other in your health journey by really just making the time and space for your spouse to do that thing: like if they need to go to that class\/that spin class at the gym, and you have children, just make sure you\u2019re home at a certain time, so you can be with the kids while they go to that class; or if they want to go to that Weight Watchers meeting, you know; the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think just making the time and space and arrangements to help them do this. Don\u2019t sabotage them. Like if Dave\u2019s on a huge health kick, and really trying to meet certain goals, I\u2019m not going to go out and buy Little Debbies; because I know I\u2019m just going to sabotage him. I think just being able to encourage each other is how we really can encourage each other to be at our best. I mean, every day, not judging, just encouraging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You\u2019re so wise about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I would add, for our marriage, it\u2019s been really fun, especially as the kids have left and we\u2019re empty-nesters, to do physical things together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m not talking about sex: I\u2019m talking about a walk; I\u2019m talking about a workout. I love it! I probably say it every week: \u201cLet\u2019s go hit a tennis ball,\u201d because she\u2019s a <em>great <\/em>tennis player. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Pickle ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Pickle ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I mean, that\u2019s kind of who we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If I\u2019m playing golf,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re alike that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> That\u2019s awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I did <em>not <\/em>want to walk with her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014ever!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she\u2019s always walking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> For years, he\u2019s like, \u201cAre we going to get our heart rates up?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t know, but it would be fun; wouldn\u2019t it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And then, I go walk with her; and she\u2019s the <em>fastest<\/em> walker I\u2019ve ever\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I can\u2019t even\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t breathe.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m jogging to get beside her. But we talk. Our marriage is enhanced. I just thought, \u201cMan, the physical part\u201d\u2014which I always thought\u2014\u201cI have my physical regimen, and you have yours.\u201d No; \u201cLet\u2019s blend sometimes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> God has made us as material beings and immaterial beings; we are body and soul. And in marriage, when two become one, we bring all of that with us. That\u2019s why this issue of our bodies being healthy matters to our marital oneness. That\u2019s what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today with Dave and Ashley Willis. They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Naked and Healthy, <\/em>and it\u2019s about oneness in marriage in every aspect of our marriages. We\u2019ve got that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information; or you can call to order a copy if you\u2019d like. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I also want to encourage you to set aside a weekend this spring where you focus on your marriage\/on pursuing oneness in marriage. That\u2019s at the center of all we talk about in our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. These two-and-a-half-day getaways are all about understanding God\u2019s design for marriage and bringing your marriage into alignment with that. We host these getaways in cities all across the country, and we are excited to have a full slate of events happening this spring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to our website, FamilyLifeTodya.com, to find out when a getaway is coming to a city near where you live, or a city you\u2019d like to visit; and then join us at an upcoming getaway. In fact, if you sign up this week, you and your spouse can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. We\u2019re making this special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. It\u2019s good this week only; so go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, find out more about the getaway, register online, and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Or call us if you have any questions at 1-800-FLTODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d But decide now to do something this spring that will help you pursue a stronger, healthier marriage relationship. Join us for a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about what may be the most significant part of our marriage relationship; and that is spiritual oneness: \u201cHow do we pursue spiritual intimacy with one another? What does that look like in a marriage?\u201d Dave and Ashley Willis will join us again. We hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:30:07"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.58M"],"filesize_raw":["28919038"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307375.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307375.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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your physical health influence how you act toward your spouse? Bestselling authors Dave &amp; Ashley Willis chat about genuine change in your bodies &amp; relationship.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>This might sound crazy; but one of the things that I\u2019ve always appreciated that you do, Dave, is you really do take care of yourself. Even the fact that you would make an appointment; go to the doctor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You told me to. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, but you actually did it! I feel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m kidding! You didn\u2019t tell me to, but there have been times where I didn\u2019t take care\u2014I didn\u2019t get a physical\u2014but now, I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, this is something\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and that makes me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s important.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy; because I feel loved, and I feel secure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014when I\u2014what?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! Like knowing that you\u2019re taking care of yourself\/that makes me not worry about the future. That makes me think, \u201cOh, he\u2019s going to be around a little bit; because he\u2019s taking care of himself.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you\u2019re telling me that I should go play more golf? That\u2019s what I\u2019m hearing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is it physically exerting? Is that good for your heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re telling me I should go work out; that\u2019s a good thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, no; it doesn\u2019t matter to me <em>what<\/em> you do, but I do like that you\u2019re taking care of yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you think all wives feel that way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that we worry about our man\u2019s health\u2014you know?\u2014because we love you, and we want you to be around.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve got Dave and Ashley Willis back in the studio with us at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Thank you! Glad to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We are glad you guys are back. You know, many know you as the authors of <em>Naked Marriage <\/em>and the <em>Naked Marriage<\/em> podcast. And your latest book, <em>Naked and Healthy<\/em>\u2014which means you guys are health nuts; right?\u2014that means you\u2019re just nutritionists and physical specimens; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Totally!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Sometimes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Why do I feel like everyone is smirking when they look at me, saying, \u201cYou look like a heath nut\u201d? [Laughter] The irony is I\u2019m not in that great of shape; okay? [Laughter] I have love handles, and God told me to write a health book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We would never know that, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s all about baggy clothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He\u2019s in great shape. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve found that, if you wear the right shirts, you can cover a multitude of sins. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting; in this book, as we\u2019re going to talk about, you say: <em>Uncover the Lifestyle Your Mind, Body, Spirit, and Marriage Need<\/em>. We\u2019ve already talked sort of about the mind and the emotions; today\u2019s about the <em>body<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Well, let me say really quickly why this came together the way that it did anyway. It\u2019s\/folks would ask: \u201cWell, how do you have a healthy marriage?\u201d \u201cHow do you have a healthy marriage?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are all of these relationship principles that you always share; but when we really started digging into it, and researching, like: \u201cWhat is it that the couples, who are healthy in every way, what does that look like?\u201d We found, you know, what seems like would kind of be common sense: when we prioritize our own health; and we encourage one another toward healthy living, mind, body, and soul; then the health of our marriage, as a by-product, is naturally going to get healthier too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut sometimes, part of the reason why the marriage isn\u2019t healthy is because we\u2019ve neglected our own health;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014so we feel bad, physically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014so we just feel bad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> It\u2019s like we\u2019re feeling bad; we\u2019re not at our best, so we <em>can\u2019t <\/em>be the best spouse that we could be. God wants us to have a healthy life, a healthy marriage\u2014it\u2019s mind, body, and soul; and if we\u2019ll do those things, while at the same time, prioritizing our marriage\u2014then we\u2019re both going to be at our best. That was the goal behind the book: is helping both spouses be at their best, individually, and learning the principles, where they could learn to do that together within marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean, we\u2019ve read it; it\u2019s a fantastic book. Everything you do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, we <em>love<\/em> everything you\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We were on your podcast a few months ago, and we love you guys and what you\u2019re doing. You\u2019re really helping marriages, not just here, but everywhere in the world. It\u2019s pretty exciting!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> We want to be like you guys! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes, like you guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You\u2019re role models. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I do want to say something, because it is a pretty cool week for our listeners. Our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways with FamilyLife are, right now, half price. There are 60 of them coming up this spring. We talk about this kind of stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, there\u2019s a session on the physical in the weekend, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014the intimacy of marriage, physically\/emotionally,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014kind of like what you guys are talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And even <em>why<\/em> God instituted marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so many people are confused about: \u201cWhat does the Word of God have to say about the physical, even in a marriage?\u201d We dive into <em>everything <\/em>in that weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt changed our marriage. It was the first place, as an engaged couple we went to, where we ever got a vision for what God wanted marriage to be. We had <em>no <\/em>idea until that weekend. It\u2019s great for marriages at 20, 30, or 40 years as well. Anyway, all of that to say, \u201cYou should sign up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Half price! Come on, man: <em>half price<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Half price.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Our spring conferences are just getting going. There are going to be over 60, I think, that will be meeting around the country. This is your opportunity to pull away and really <em>invest<\/em> in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so Willises, talk about: \u201cHow does the physical impact a marriage?\u201d We\u2019re not\u2014obviously, you wrote the book\u2014it\u2019s not just about the sexual part of your marriage, but physical health\/physical everything. Talk to us about it, because we often think about mental and emotional; we think about spiritual. Often, we think the body is important; but it\u2019s not really going to impact my marriage in a great way. How does it impact?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> The biblical principle we come back to in the book\u2014and everything we do; we try to base it completely on God\u2019s Word\u2014you know, I had a preacher-mentor of mine said, \u201cNow, Dave, whenever you speak, try to use a lot of Scripture. That way you\u2019ll know at least something you said is actually <em>true<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] I always come back to that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It\u2019s true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> So I\u2019m like, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; is that his accent too? That\u2019s pretty good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> That\u2019s how he talks; that\u2019s how he talks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> So we always try to come back to Scripture. What Scripture says on this, in 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul is challenging the church in Corinth; in one of the strongest ways he says it on this topic is\/he says, \u201cHonor God with your bodies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And in the broader context, it\u2019s: \u201cYou\u2019ve been bought with a price.\u201d You know, people in Corinth were sinning sexually; getting caught up in a lot of the gluttony, and hedonism, and a lot of things of the culture. He was saying, \u201cHey guys, listen! I know these bodies are temporary, but what we do in these bodies can have an eternal significance. We\u2019re training our bodies, not just to win a trophy or a prize like the world gives out,\u201d\u2014even though there\u2019s nothing wrong with an athlete working hard to win a medal, or a trophy, or whatever\u2014he said, \u201cBut we\u2019re training our bodies because what we do <em>in these bodies <\/em>has eternal significance for God\u2019s work and God\u2019s kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us to be able to do all He\u2019s called us to do for ministry, for marriage, for our own legacy, we need to be healthy. I think we can still enjoy life. I mean, my goodness, I have good desires in this area; but when it comes to food\u2014[Laughter]\u2014let me tell you a quick example. I was in a grocery store recently, and there\u2019s something about being in a grocery store around food: my judgment just plummets. [Laughter] I\u2019m not as good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave, I am with you on this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014I ran into someone that, you know, she and I used to have an unhealthy relationship; I thought that she was just part of my past\u2014I saw her in the store, and I just felt these old feelings. Her name is Little Debbie<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter] I saw her displays, and I just\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014a lot of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was wondering, \u201cWhere are you <em>going <\/em>with that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u201cWhere is this going, Dave?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014a lot of old feelings came back, and I put a few boxes there in the cart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> There\u2019s a specific Little Debbie, though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Oatmeal cr\u00e8me pie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You took her home; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis: <\/strong>I took her home. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He took her home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I mean, I had to confess to Ashley: \u201cAshly, I brought Little Debbie home. I just want you to know.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He even\u2014guys, he even hid it in a cabinet, like in a special\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You really did?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait; this is for <em>real<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014for real, for real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No, no! No, no; I can\u2019t, because our kids eat <em>everything<\/em>! They eat so much stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> We have four boys;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> It\u2019s just a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014big appetites.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Now, when I do bring Little Debbie home, I have to hide the box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes; I get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I have a special hiding place, because they will find it; they will just find it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> They will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we try to have balance. I think, you know, some people listening might be going, like, \u201cWell, what does this even have to do with marriage?\u201d I think\u2014not only do we want to <em>feel<\/em> at our best for each other, and be at our best for each other, and to live a longer life together\u2014you know, there are a lot of things we <em>can\u2019t<\/em> control about our physical health that comes our way with different diagnoses we get or maybe a tragedy. You know, maybe we\u2019re in a terrible wreck that kind of causes us to have some permanent damage and changes we have to make in our life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about doing what <em>you<\/em> can, with the body God has given you, to be at your best; <em>but<\/em> I mean, here\u2019s the big kind of thing we need to pay attention to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Don\u2019t say the big \u201cbut.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> The big \u201cbut\u201d; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014not on this show. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> We need to pay attention to the fact that it\u2019s <em>never<\/em> our job, though, to be our spouse\u2019s critical coach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Oh, no, no, no!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And that\u2019s where we\u2019ve literally seen this one issue of physical health become <em>the thing <\/em>that causes the most marital problems: where one spouse, maybe, values physical health more than the other spouse; and they keep on being critical of their spouse\/of their spouse\u2019s body. It just makes their spouse feel less than, and it causes a lot of fights; and it causes a lot of disagreements over what food to have in the house and what routine to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I mean, it can really get out of hand. I think, for some people, this may be a minor issue; but I can\u2019t tell you how many times we\u2019ve counseled couples, where this is <em>the<\/em> issue! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that there\u2019s truth on both sides. If that\u2019s your marriage dynamic:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf maybe you\u2019re listening, and you have <em>always<\/em> been a healthy person; maybe you\u2019re an athlete, and health has been a huge part of your life; you\u2019ve always pretty much been in good shape, and it\u2019s been something that you take pride in\u2014that\u2019s awesome! That\u2019s a good thing. I mean, kudos to you for staying healthy and using the gifts that God has given you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then there are other people where, maybe they\u2019ve just not valued health as much\u2014maybe they grew up in a home, where it wasn\u2019t valued as much; or maybe they\u2019ve had bodies that don\u2019t cooperate: I mean, there are some people who aren\u2019t as coordinated, or they\u2019re not gifted physically when it comes to sports and such; or maybe their metabolism doesn\u2019t work like their spouse\u2019s, and they\u2019re constantly battling gaining weight\u2014and they\u2019re trying the best they can, but they just <em>can\u2019t<\/em> lose the weight they want to lose. You know, there are both sides to this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that what happens, when a husband and wife find themselves in this dynamic\u2014and they don\u2019t really, you know, try to look at their spouse as being just different\u2014you know, they don\u2019t\/I think sometimes they think, \u201cWell, I\u2019m right!\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cI\u2019m right; you\u2019re wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re not offering grace to the spouse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> They don\u2019t offer grace!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And that\u2019s where we see so many fights. It really can affect your sex life, majorly. I mean, if you feel your spouse doesn\u2019t like your body, and isn\u2019t attracted to you, I mean, it really kills the mood. And there are things like that. We really have to pay attention to kind of how we\u2019re approaching our spouse\u2014and what we say about their body; how we look at them\u2014if we\u2019re being critical, we need to stop!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So what do you do? I mean, if you see your spouse\u2014and again, not being super-critical like they\u2019ve just gone off the deep end, and they don\u2019t care; but if they\u2019re starting to, you think, make unhealthy choices,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014physically and with food, and you don\u2019t want to be critical; but you also want to be helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I\u2019m not talking about our marriage; I\u2019m just talking about somebody. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s talking about\/he\u2019s looking! Did you see? [Laughter] He just spied at me in the corner of his eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking Ann\u2019s felt that toward <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I haven\u2019t! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; I know there\u2019s a couple listening, or a spouse listening, going, \u201cWell, yes; but I see that he\u2019s drifting,\u201d or \u201c\u2026she\u2019s drifting. Do I say <em>nothing<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I have a friend, whose husband gave her a gym membership for Christmas. She\u2019s already been struggling, and she knows it. But for him to give that to her, she felt like, \u201cWow! He thinks I\u2019ve totally lost control.\u201d And then she gained <em>more<\/em> weight, because she felt so much <em>shame<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So don\u2019t do the gym membership? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014unless she\u2019s asked for it!\u2014yes\u2014or he\u2019s asked for it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I think, in marriage, we\u2019ve got to be each other\u2019s biggest cheerleader, not each other\u2019s biggest critic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You know, the spiritual gifts list in the Bible includes the gift of encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> But the gift of critic is <em>nowhere<\/em> in there. And some people think, in marriage, that they have this gift or this responsibility to criticize their spouse, or parent or coach their spouse. And that crushes the partnership dynamic that God intended marriage to be, so just encourage each other toward good things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t mean we put our heads in the sand\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014if a spouse is going off the deep end.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He just motioned to me. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No, no! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t see that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He did; he did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>She did, Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She is the more <em>disciplined<\/em> in every part of our marriage. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think he was motioning toward me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She is the more disciplined by far; but for us, we\u2019ve just tried to like encourage each other by saying, \u201cHey, let\u2019s get in the habit together. Let\u2019s go on a walk every night,\u201d\u2014you know? \u2014which is where our best conversations happen. You know, when we can just get outside, go on a walk; we\u2019re getting some exercise together; but it\u2019s also about <em>connecting<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u2014instead of just saying, \u201cHey, here\u2019s a gym membership; you know, you could use it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf either one of us ever wants to make an investment in our own health, we try to always support that, even if it\u2019s a lean time, financially. If one of us says: \u201cHey, I want to get a gym membership,\u201d or \u201cI would like to, you know, buy this home equipment,\u201d\u2014or whatever it might be\u2014then it\u2019s like, \u201cWell, let\u2019s figure out a way to make that happen\u201d; because an investment in our health is <em>good<\/em>. It\u2019s going to help us be at our best, and we want to help each other be at our best. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAn image we use in the book is\u2014like if your life\/it\u2019s sort of like built on a three-legged stool\u2014and the three legs of that stool are mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. A lot of us will get two of those three right. I think, especially sometimes in Christian circles, we prioritize the two\u2014the mental and spiritual\u2014and we don\u2019t at all the physical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when we don\u2019t at all with the physical, then that table is missing a whole leg\u2014and it\u2019s going to make things wobbly, even if your heart\u2019s in the right place, your mind\u2019s in the right place, and your relationship with God\u2019s right\u2014but if you\u2019re constantly battling with the physical stuff\u2014like Ashley said: \u201cSometimes it\u2019s out of your control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> If you\u2019re dealing with an issue like cancer\u2014or my gosh, whatever issue it is\u2014as spouses, it\u2019s a <em>privilege<\/em> to just serve each other in those areas, and to carry your spouse, and hold them in their moments of weakness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike Ashley said before, as far as it depends on us, even if we <em>are<\/em> dealing with an injury\u2014and like I share I\u2019ve gone through a thyroid disorder that\u2019s kind of put my whole body out of whack and changed a lot about my life\u2014it\u2019s just you do the best you can with what you\u2019ve got.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> You do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And say, \u201cWell, one day we\u2019re going to get a new body in heaven anyway;\u201d\u2014 that will have abs; I\u2019m convinced\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cbut right now, with this one I\u2019ve got, I want it to be as healthy as I can; and let\u2019s encourage each other in that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I think one of the beautiful parts of the physical with your spouse\u2014and again, we often go right to the sexual relationship\u2014but when you\u2019re going through something physically, and you have a spouse there as your partner, what a gift! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you just said, Dave, whether it\u2019s cancer\u2014I mean, I went through a back surgery thing, where I was fighting sciatica for\u2014oh, I don\u2019t know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014seven or eight years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I kept putting off surgery; and you know, I did different things at work. But when I finally went in for surgery\u2014which, by the way, is one of the <em>best<\/em> things I\u2019ve ever done; I\u2019ve never had sciatica one second since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Awesome!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But all I can remember about that time period in my life is she was right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, I had a partner sympathizing with me, understanding, supporting me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014at least, to your face. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes! I heard later, after the surgery\u2014I came home; and I\u2019m lying on the couch, like, \u201cI\u2019m going to do everything the doctor said. I\u2019m <em>never<\/em> going to get up. I\u2019m <em>never<\/em>\u2026\u201d\u2014she and my son went in the other room and just laughed! [Laughter] I heard, later, they laughed: \u201cLook at Dad! He\u2019s so\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> They\u2019re <em>mocking<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But we didn\u2019t do it to his face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s <em>compassion.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Laughing behind his back\u2014yes, I believe it\u2019s biblical and okay\u2014[Laughter]\u2014it\u2019s all in good fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And so many women would say, \u201cMy husband is such a <em>baby<\/em> when he gets sick.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I <em>am<\/em> a baby! Aren\u2019t you a baby?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I am! I\u2019m telling you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wish you could see Ashley\u2019s face right now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She just affirmed that: \u201cYou\u2019re a baby.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She broke her toe a couple weeks ago in the kitchen. She just rammed her pinky toe and snapped it in half.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014like I knew it was broken right away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I mean, <em>snapped<\/em> it. And I <em>heard<\/em> it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t notice you limp <em>at all<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> No; she\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Dave would be on crutches!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because she\u2019s a <em>warrior<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> She\u2019s Jason Bourne over here. [Laughter] She snapped her toe, and all she does go, \u201cUmm; well, I broke my toe.\u201d [Laughter] If it had been me, I would <em>still<\/em> be weeping\u2014gnashing of teeth, crying\u2014there\u2019d be a prayer chain; meal [train] at church. [Laughter] It\u2019s like, \u201cKeep people bringing meals.\u201d I would have milked it! But she is just so tough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that most marriages are like this: women are tougher. Men act like we\u2019re tougher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> And our wives let us believe that we are, but we all know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> I could not deliver a baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> <em>I <\/em>wanted an epidural for <em>her <\/em>childbirth. [Laughter] I wanted it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou ladies are just so much tougher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They\u2019re tougher. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, talk about this\u2014we don\u2019t have a lot of time left\u2014but you know, let\u2019s do talk a little bit about the sexual physical part of a marriage. And because of time, if you could say one thing, what would be the first thing\u2014maybe it\u2019s different for both of you\u2014that you would say to a couple, who say, \u201cHow could you help me in my marriage in this area? How should I think differently\/act differently? Talk to me about God\u2019s heart for the sexual aspect of our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I would say sex is important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> And it needs to be happening <em>regularly. <\/em>It\u2019s going to look different for every couple. I mean, we have so many couples write us and say, \u201cHow many times a week? How many times a month should we have sex?\u201d And wanting us to give a number. I would say, \u201cYou know, we can\u2019t do that. It\u2019s different for every couple.\u201d One thing that is for sure is, as you grow older, that\u2019s going to change a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; you\u2019re sitting here with a couple that\u2019s older, so we can affirm that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Well, yes; of course! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, though, sometimes, too, we\u2019ll kind of reach some stumbling blocks, where things aren\u2019t working the same as they did, or maybe the libido has changed or something. We find where couples kind of come to a crossroads where, you know, maybe one spouse feels frustrated by it is like: \u201cYou know what? This is just it. I guess we\u2019re just never going to have sex again,\u201d or \u201c\u2026not nearly the amount we used to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would just say, \u201cLet\u2019s not make excuses. First of all, let\u2019s have compassion for each other, but let\u2019s also not make excuses. Yes, things are going to change as we get older; but sometimes, there are underlying issues.\u201d Like Dave\u2019s thyroid issue; it really affected his testosterone, just to be honest about our own situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> That\u2019s <em>personal<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> He talks about it all the time. [Laughter] But he didn\u2019t just sit back and say, \u201cWell, this is just me! Guess there\u2019s nothing I can do.\u201d He did research, and he went and talked to his doctor; and he got on some supplements. He knew he wasn\u2019t feeling quite like himself. And so, I think, you know, just being <em>willing <\/em>to talk to the professionals who can maybe help you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of times, there are things\u2014especially even when it comes to energy level or, you know, our hormone levels being off\u2014there are things that we can do. You know, God gave us these amazing people, who become doctors and do all this research, and can help us in this area.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd also, <em>pray about it<\/em>! Don\u2019t be afraid to pray about your sex life; God created sex! It was completely His idea for marriage,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> Thank you, Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> \u2014as a blessing and an amazing way for a married couple to connect. So don\u2019t be afraid if you\u2019re having issues in this area; pray about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Give us some application as we close, like maybe a couple things that we can do in this area that would really be beneficial to the <em>physical<\/em> part of our health.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I would say, you know, do whatever you can to support each other in your quest toward physical health. This is something I had to learn the hard way, but don\u2019t expect your spouse to do the exact same regimen that you do. I remember, early in our relationship, I did\u2014after we had, I think, our first or second child\u2014I had a little extra weight on me, and I did Weight Watchers. I was expecting Dave to know all the point system, and to do it with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was as close to divorce as we\u2019ve ever come. [Laughter] \u201cDo you know how many points are in that ice cream?\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201c<em>I don\u2019t care!\u201d<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> I just\u2014I know! He was like, \u201cYou\u2019re killing the moment!\u201d; you know? But I just really was like, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to do this together. Any health thing I do, you\u2019ve got to do. Anything you do, I have to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, obviously, we want to enjoy all things in marriage together; but it doesn\u2019t mean you do the exact same thing. You know, you can encourage each other in your health journey by really just making the time and space for your spouse to do that thing: like if they need to go to that class\/that spin class at the gym, and you have children, just make sure you\u2019re home at a certain time, so you can be with the kids while they go to that class; or if they want to go to that Weight Watchers meeting, you know; the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think just making the time and space and arrangements to help them do this. Don\u2019t sabotage them. Like if Dave\u2019s on a huge health kick, and really trying to meet certain goals, I\u2019m not going to go out and buy Little Debbies; because I know I\u2019m just going to sabotage him. I think just being able to encourage each other is how we really can encourage each other to be at our best. I mean, every day, not judging, just encouraging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> You\u2019re so wise about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I would add, for our marriage, it\u2019s been really fun, especially as the kids have left and we\u2019re empty-nesters, to do physical things together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m not talking about sex: I\u2019m talking about a walk; I\u2019m talking about a workout. I love it! I probably say it every week: \u201cLet\u2019s go hit a tennis ball,\u201d because she\u2019s a <em>great <\/em>tennis player. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Pickle ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Pickle ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I mean, that\u2019s kind of who we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If I\u2019m playing golf,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re alike that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> That\u2019s awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I did <em>not <\/em>want to walk with her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014ever!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she\u2019s always walking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> For years, he\u2019s like, \u201cAre we going to get our heart rates up?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t know, but it would be fun; wouldn\u2019t it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And then, I go walk with her; and she\u2019s the <em>fastest<\/em> walker I\u2019ve ever\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I can\u2019t even\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave Willis:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t breathe.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m jogging to get beside her. But we talk. Our marriage is enhanced. I just thought, \u201cMan, the physical part\u201d\u2014which I always thought\u2014\u201cI have my physical regimen, and you have yours.\u201d No; \u201cLet\u2019s blend sometimes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ashley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> God has made us as material beings and immaterial beings; we are body and soul. And in marriage, when two become one, we bring all of that with us. That\u2019s why this issue of our bodies being healthy matters to our marital oneness. That\u2019s what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today with Dave and Ashley Willis. They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Naked and Healthy, <\/em>and it\u2019s about oneness in marriage in every aspect of our marriages. We\u2019ve got that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information; or you can call to order a copy if you\u2019d like. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I also want to encourage you to set aside a weekend this spring where you focus on your marriage\/on pursuing oneness in marriage. That\u2019s at the center of all we talk about in our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. These two-and-a-half-day getaways are all about understanding God\u2019s design for marriage and bringing your marriage into alignment with that. We host these getaways in cities all across the country, and we are excited to have a full slate of events happening this spring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to our website, FamilyLifeTodya.com, to find out when a getaway is coming to a city near where you live, or a city you\u2019d like to visit; and then join us at an upcoming getaway. In fact, if you sign up this week, you and your spouse can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. We\u2019re making this special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. It\u2019s good this week only; so go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, find out more about the getaway, register online, and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Or call us if you have any questions at 1-800-FLTODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d But decide now to do something this spring that will help you pursue a stronger, healthier marriage relationship. Join us for a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about what may be the most significant part of our marriage relationship; and that is spiritual oneness: \u201cHow do we pursue spiritual intimacy with one another? What does that look like in a marriage?\u201d Dave and Ashley Willis will join us again. We hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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