{"id":307371,"date":"2022-01-15T08:02:07","date_gmt":"2022-01-15T13:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen\/"},"modified":"2022-01-15T08:02:07","modified_gmt":"2022-01-15T13:02:07","slug":"family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sanctity of Human Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Culturally, when we talk about the sanctity of human life, we tend to focus on the plight of the unborn. But life itself extends to our last dying breath. Gary Thomas, Jim Stroud, and Jim Garlow tell stories of caring for souls at the end of their lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If the only time your kids see you worshipping God is at church on Sunday morning, then your kids are missing out on a rich experience that could bond your family on a soul-to-soul level. Don Whitney and Lauren Chandler talk about worshiping together with their families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-01-15.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:56","filesize":"25.58M","filesize_raw":"26820961","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3158,8904,8810],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-307371","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-godly-legacy","cwp_profile-gary-thomas","cwp_profile-jim-garlow","cwp_profile-jim-stroud","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307371\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307371\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"xZYdWJXTAh\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen\/\">The Sanctity of Human Life<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/family-worship-how-to-make-it-happen\/embed\/#?secret=xZYdWJXTAh\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Sanctity of Human Life&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"xZYdWJXTAh\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-01-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-01-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Garlow is a busy pastor and an in-demand speaker, but he found himself having to make the difficult choice of caring for his wife Carol, who was dying of cancer, <em>or<\/em> doing part of his job, which was speaking at high-profile engagements. Here\u2019s Jim.\n\n<strong>Jim:<\/strong> I was supposed to speak at a thing in Washington, DC. She heard that I cancelled because of how she was feeling. She found that out; said, \u201cNo! I\u2019ve been praying for <em>years <\/em>for you to have a voice there. You get on that plane. You call them back; you tell them you\u2019re going.\u201d I did.\n\nI <em>am<\/em> wanting to make sure I <em>treasure<\/em> every day. Being away from her is getting a little harder. At the same time, I probably hold a record of the number of changed schedules, and having to ask to be released from speaking engagements multiple times, and credits I have with airlines for cancelled flights.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It\u2019s Sanctity of Life week, and we\u2019re going to talk about the value of life\u2014all the way to the end\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em> I\u2019m Michelle Hill. A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting an elderly couple. He\u2019s crowding in on 100, and she\u2019s a few years younger than him. Let\u2019s just call them Fred and Ethel. Fred brought our three chairs in close together so that our knees were almost touching. Ethel has Alzheimer\u2019s and was asleep for most of the visit. While her head bobbed softly, Fred kept patting her knee. Occasionally, in her sleep, she would reach for his pinky; and she would just hold it.\n\nIt was a <em>beautiful<\/em> picture to me of love. I know that a lot of work had gone into that picture, and that it hasn\u2019t always been that idyllic life. I asked for their story and listened to him share about meeting her, and getting married, and having their first baby. I also heard from him his standpoint of all the sacrifices that Ethel made on his behalf. Now, he said it was <em>his<\/em> turn to make sacrifices and care for her.\n\nThere\u2019s a word that describes that perfectly; the word is <em>cherish.<\/em> We\u2019re going to talk about cherish, because we\u2019ve hit mid-January; and this weekend and this week, we\u2019re reminded of the sanctity of life. Usually, our minds turn to the unborn and abortion when we hear \u201csanctity of life.\u201d But really, sanctity of life is <em>bigger<\/em> than just the unborn baby because <em>all<\/em> of life is precious, from the beginning to the end.\n\nToday, I want to spend some time understanding that bigger end-of-life aspect. There\u2019s a portion of our society that has become near and dear to my heart, and that is the elderly. I volunteer some of my time at a local nursing home. Volunteers: they sit with folks; sometimes they read books out loud; sometimes they sing songs; sometimes they just sit there and just sit! It\u2019s really given me a deeper understanding of how our bodies are <em>slowly<\/em> wasting away. But even a person, lying on their deathbed, was created in God\u2019s image.\n\nToday, we\u2019re going to hear from Jim Stroud. He\u2019s going to talk to us very practically about how to help our aging parents, or grandparents, or our spouses. We\u2019re also going to hear from Jim Garlow with that touching story of when his wife was dying of cancer.\n\nBut first, I want to hear from Gary Thomas. He is a speaker and author; and he has written the book, <em>Cherish. <\/em>In the book, he shares a story of his friend, Greg, who was a young doctor in residency. Just imagine being a young doctor; your whole reason for being a doctor is that you want to fix people. But for some people, who are at the end of life, it\u2019s not about fixing. Here\u2019s Gary sharing the story of his friend, Greg, when he was making rounds in the hospital one day.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Gary:<\/strong> A woman was there, in her 80s, a neuro-muscular disease that left her in a wheelchair. She would sit at an angle; her mouth was agape; she would occasionally drool. All she could do was moan. There was this 80-something-year-old husband, very spry, filled with energy; a lively kind of guy.\n\nGreg was struck; because usually, it\u2019s the other way around\u2014he says the wife is caring for an ailing husband\u2014but in this case, it was reversed. As a young man might say, he knew all the care that might be required, and looked at this man and he said, \u201cI felt sorry for him.\u201d At this point in his life, he\u2019s having to care for someone who needed this much care.\n\nThen, he looked down at the sheet\u2014and he saw her address, and he saw the husband\u2019s address\u2014he realized she wasn\u2019t at a [nursing] home. He didn\u2019t pick her up on the way to the doctor\u2019s office; he <em>was<\/em> her primary caregiver. Again, he found himself saying, as a young man might, \u201cPlease, God: not me <em>ever.<\/em>\u201d Then, the resident physician got a page, and so he had to leave. That left Greg alone with the husband and the wife.\n\nGreg was a little embarrassed\u2014\u2014there was <em>nothing<\/em> he could help with\u2014he wasn\u2019t far enough along to actually treat. The husband kind of sensed the awkwardness. He broke the silence by saying, \u201cShe\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy; you know?\u201d He [Greg] said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy. We used to set trout lines in that lake over there, two miles away. We\u2019ve been fishin\u2019 all over. This one here\u2014she\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy.\u201d He was <em>beaming <\/em>as he said this.\n\nGreg sat transfixed for ten minutes as he regaled him with story after story about what they\u2019d had in their life together. When the husband reached up and wiped a little drool off his wife\u2019s chin, Greg was sort of reminded: for him, it wasn\u2019t any different than when she was a 20-year-old, and they went out for ice cream; and as a little act of flirtation, he was wiping a little ice cream off her chin. He looked at her <em>that<\/em> way. After going through this moment, he said, \u201cGone was any feelings of pity. Instead, in its place, was envy.\u201d Here was a young man who envied this man that had this relationship with his wife.\n\nHere\u2019s the key point that I would make: Greg wasn\u2019t envious of him for loving her. When he was being faithful, and caring for her, and serving her, it actually kind of made Greg feel sorry for him. But when he saw this husband <em>cherish<\/em> his wife\u2014to cherish a woman in her 80s, beset by disease, not even able to communicate, just moaning and drooling, with all the wrinkles\u2014when he saw a husband cherish <em>that wife<\/em>, that\u2019s when he envied him. That\u2019s the power of cherish.\n\nLove is important\u2014we need to celebrate love; we need to proclaim love; love needs to be the bedrock\u2014we need to call each other to love. But there\u2019s something special that happens when we say, \u201cI want to take the next step, and I want to <em>cherish<\/em> my spouse,\u201d\u2014not only what it does for us\u2014but the way it can inspire the next generation.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow; what a sweet story. It kind of reminds me of my time with Fred and Ethel, and just how <em>he<\/em> was caring for <em>her<\/em>. She had spent <em>many<\/em> years caring for him, and now he was caring for her. <em>Great<\/em> story about cherishing from Gary Thomas.\n\nAs I walk the halls in the nursing home, and see the lonely faces, I realize that there\u2019s only a few of those people who are <em>cherished<\/em>, who have people who spend time with them on an ongoing basis. They don\u2019t <em>have<\/em> community; many of them don\u2019t. Community is what we <em>all<\/em> need, because God created us for relationship. Community is <em>hard<\/em>; it\u2019s hard for those of us, who are young and vibrant and busy with life. But imagine what community is like for someone, who is into their 80s. There\u2019s a lot of practical outflow that needs to happen with this.\n\nIn fact, Bob Lepine sat down with Jim Stroud and talked about how his grandparents and his mom had to wrestle through some of the practical-ness of life and aging. Here\u2019s Bob.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking about my grandparents, who lived in Flint, Michigan, all their lives. My grandfather worked at the GM<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> plant in Flint; that\u2019s where they raised their kids, and that\u2019s where they lived into their 80s.\n\nMy mom\u2014meanwhile, she got married\u2014and we moved around the country; she was living in Kansas City. Well, here Grandma and Grandpa are up in Flint, Michigan; Mom\u2019s in Kansas City. When there are health issues, there is nobody but the neighbors; and you\u2019re not sure what you can depend on there. Mom started feeling like she needed Grandma and Grandpa to be close. She went and talked to them about moving to Kansas City. Just like your dad, my grandfather couldn\u2019t imagine leaving where he\u2019d lived his whole life and not cheering for the Detroit Tigers; right?\u00a0 [Laughter] It took some badgering on my mom\u2019s part to ultimately have them sell their house and move their belongings into a retirement community in the Kansas City area, where Mom was living.\n\nHere\u2019s how that marked my mom. After my\u2014both my grandparents passed, and they died in their 90s\u2014when my mom got into her 70s\/in her late 70s, she moved into an assisted living retirement community, a place where it was staged so that there was independent care for a period of time; and then, if you needed more care, it was available onsite.\n\nShe moved in; and I thought, \u201cMom, you don\u2019t need that!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI don\u2019t now, but the time to move in is not when you need it. The time to move in is now, where you can build relationships and make friendships.\u201d\u00a0 She was loving <em>me<\/em> by making that choice to move into that kind of a community; that\u2019s where she lived until she died. It was a\u00a0<em>rich<\/em>\u00a0period of more than a decade, where she lived in that community, and made friends, and had a level of care that was helpful, and then more care when it was needed.\n\nJim, you know there are some old folks, who\/they are a little settled in their ways. They put up resistance when you start saying, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s time not to drive anymore,\u201d\u2014the loss of that freedom is\u00a0huge\u00a0for a lot of older people\u2014or when you say, \u201cMaybe, you ought to move to another place,\u201d\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not; I\u2019ve lived here for 45\u2026\u201d What do you do, as a young person, if you\u2019ve got a mom or a dad, who\u2019s just dug in?\n\nJim:\u00a0I think one of the best ways of communication that we share with adult children\u2014and now with your listeners\u2014is the indirect method. Oftentimes, when they are dug in and they\u2019re independent is: number one, I go back to respect and sensitivity. I have to\u00a0respect\u00a0my loved one for what they\u2019ve achieved\u2014\n\nBob:\u00a0Right.\n\nJim:\u00a0\u2014and the sensitivity of how to approach them.\n\nOftentimes, indirect is a great way: \u201cMom\/Dad, I had a friend [whose] mom\/dad did this. All of a sudden, it created a problem worse,\u201d or \u201cThey got up in the middle of the night and broke a hip. Then, all of a sudden, they\u2019re in the hospital,\u201d and \u201cThey\u00a0knew\u00a0that they had problems with their coordination,\u201d or \u201cThey\u00a0knew\u00a0the medications they were on were not the right medications,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s the indirect way of doing that.\n\nAnother way is what I call the personal approach; that is: \u201cMom\/Dad, I love you. I appreciate all the sacrifice you\u2019ve given, and I\u2019m concerned.\u201d\u00a0 When your parent\u2014as hard and entrenched as they can be\u2014understands your heart and the direction you are coming from, then it\u2019s important. The worst thing is for your parent to feel they are being parented, and that\u2019s the situation where it becomes more reactionary and defensive.\n\nThe indirect way is a good way to <em>start<\/em>; likewise, the empathy of: \u201cThis is the way I really feel. I <em>care<\/em> for you.\u201d And then, the third thing is <em>timing<\/em>. Oftentimes, there are a number of opportunities: healthcare fairs, senior centers, other areas. Compared to what it was 30 years ago, it\u2019s\u00a0vastly\u00a0different. Now, there are a number of organizations\u2014for profit\/not for profit\u2014that have senior fairs, where they can go to them. You can take your loved one and then they can meet individuals in the community\u2014either in the home healthcare area, or in the skilled nursing, or assisted living, or memory care\u2014and they start understanding that: \u201cThis care is very important.\u201d\n\nWhat happens with this care, when they start hearing satisfaction surveys\u2014that\n\n90 percent of the seniors, after six months, like where they live\u2014now, if you take that same survey the first month, it\u2019s 30 percent\u2014so it goes from 30 percent to 90 percent. We use the example of the rosebud. You know, a rosebud, by itself, hasn\u2019t even bloomed; but it needs the right soil; it needs the right sun; it needs the rain\/the right amount of rain. If it doesn\u2019t get one of those three, it can wither and die on the vine; but given the right soil\u2014which could be a senior living community or staying at home: the right care and the right social activities\u2014they blossom. That\u2019s what you see if the needs of a senior are met the right way.\n\nDennis:\u00a0One of the things that you continue to underscore and heighten is the respect for your parent. I really like that because, as they grow old, there is a good bit of aging that robs a person\u2014who has been very vigorous, maybe a hard worker, very smart\u2014where they are experience losses. They need an adult child to respect who they are and also give them a voice. Speak to that concept of \u201cgiving your parents a voice\u201d as you talk about these issues.\n\nJim:\u00a0It\u2019s important, because they\u2019re connection points. Oftentimes, a connection point can be the personal experience, as I always use the phrase, \u201cYou taught me.\u201d Because if it\u2019s the\u2014\u201cYou taught me,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s the lesson you learned from your parent. Now, what you\u2019re doing is exercising that lesson: \u201cYou taught me to care; you taught me to respond. Now, what I want to do is recognize the need; and then let\u2019s talk about the decision. Let\u2019s not just sit there and have it [be] the elephant in the room; let\u2019s really sit down and talk about this.\u201d\n\nAs Bob\u2019s story was with his mother, the <em>key<\/em> to that successful aging was timing. The <em>worst<\/em> thing is when it\u2019s a crisis\u2014to either bring in home healthcare as a crisis situation, because you have a crisis; and someone else comes into the home\u2014or likewise, if you go into a hospital and then move into a senior living community\u2014it\u2019s a crisis environment. What you don\u2019t want is <em>that <\/em>situation. You want it to be one where it could be handled the appropriate way.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Stroud giving us some very practical advice\u2014practical advice on having <em>conversations<\/em> with our folks, and our grandparents, and perhaps with our spouse\u2014those conversations that honor them, uplift them, and <em>cherish<\/em> them.\n\nThat\u2019s what we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014is about <em>cherishing<\/em> the whole <em>entirety <\/em>of the sanctity of life\u2014not only at the beginning but, also, through the end. Jim Stroud is president of Capital Senior Living Corporation. You can hear more of the interview on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com.\n\nHey, we need to take a break; but on the other side, we\u2019re going to hear from Jim Garlow and how he cherished his wife as cancer ravaged her body. Stay tuned.\n\n[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\n<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. If the Bible is true\u2014and I believe it is\u2014King David of Israel penned in the Psalms that we are \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d And we are fearfully and wonderfully made because each human is made in God\u2019s image. That\u2019s pretty incredible. It also means that, from <em>before<\/em> the cradle to the grave, all of life should be valued.\n\nWe\u2019ve been talking today about the sanctity of life and taking a little bit different spin on it. Usually, people talk about the unborn when they are talking about the sanctity of life; we\u2019re talking about the <em>end of life<\/em>. What happens when the end of life comes a little bit sooner than you would expect?\u2014like maybe when you\u2019re thinking you\u2019re young\/you\u2019re in mid-life; you\u2019re happy\u2014and all of a sudden, you receive the diagnosis of cancer or your spouse receives the diagnosis of cancer\u2014and your life changes <em>instantly<\/em>.\n\nThat\u2019s what happened to Jim Garlow. Jim was the senior pastor for many years at Skyline Church in La Mesa, California. He\u2019s also an author. When Jim\u2019s wife Carol received the diagnosis of cancer, and started suffering through some of those side effects, Jim found himself as her main caregiver. Here\u2019s Jim.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Jim: <\/strong>The church was so gracious; they allowed me to focus on her <em>totally<\/em> for that first eight months until we could get her back <em>somewhat<\/em> to be able to function normally. There was one span where they could not stop the vomiting\u2014it just wouldn\u2019t quit\u2014seven weeks of it. There were also many other challenges going on.\n\nShe had just vomited again on the bathroom floor\u2014this was a Saturday night\u2014and I was cleaning it up. [Emotion in voice] I started groaning; I got into a pity party. I thought of two pastor friends, right in San Diego\u2014they were very good friends of mine, [whom] I loved deeply\u2014I started complaining to the Lord, saying, \u201cThis guy\u2019s getting to do this. That guy is getting to do that. And <em>I\u2019m<\/em> cleaning up vomit on the bathroom floor, late Saturday night. It isn\u2019t fair, God.\u201d\n\nI <em>so<\/em> clearly heard an impression of the Holy Spirit saying, \u201cYou are doing right now the greatest ministry you have ever done in your life.\u201d That was one of those change points. I realized, \u201cWow!\u00a0 There\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> I\u2019ve ever done, or perhaps ever will do, that is more significant in kingdom eyes than cleaning up vomit on the bathroom floor, approaching midnight on a Saturday night, for my wife.\u201d\u00a0 That was a <em>major<\/em> change for me.\n\nDennis:\u00a0What I hear you saying is Ephesians 5\u00a0incarnate: \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.\u201d\n\nJim: I\u2019ve not always been the best servant. My wife\u2019s been a <em>great<\/em> servant of me and other people, and I learned a lesson in servanthood that I <em>needed<\/em> to learn. I can honestly say the <em>best<\/em> five years of our marriage has been the last five years\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now wait a second.\n\n<strong>Jim:<\/strong> \u2014by <em>far<\/em> the best. When you get into this zone, where you realize you could potentially lose someone that you care deeply about, you suddenly contextualize those challenges of conflict. All of a sudden, the things that were really annoyances\u2014they\u2019re <em>just there<\/em>, and they\u2019re <em>not going<\/em> to change\u2014but they don\u2019t <em>matter<\/em> anymore.\n\nI have been <em>astounded <\/em>at my view of her <em>strengths.<\/em> I\u2019ve realized how incredibly wonderful she is, to the point I\u2019ve found myself saying repeatedly to her\u2014and I never said this in the first 36 years that I can recall; now, maybe I did; but I just don\u2019t recall\u2014for the last 5 years, she\u2019s heard it from me: \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0so glad\u00a0I married you,\u201d \u201cI am\u00a0so glad\u00a0I married you,\u201d \u201cOh, I\u2019m glad I married you.\u201d\u00a0The last five years\u2014she\u2019s, at night, ready to go to sleep\u2014\u201cCarol, I\u2019m so glad I married you.\u201d\u00a0Her strengths have become <em>greater<\/em>.\n\nI told a guy\u2014I had a conversation\u2014just spontaneous conversation last Monday; we were standing out front, out in the parking lot of our church. I said, \u201cWith each passing day, she gets better and better.\u201d\u00a0Now, by that, I meant in my eyes.\u00a0I don\u2019t think that\u2019s because I\u2019m delusional now; I think that\u2019s because I was a little bit blinded <em>then<\/em>.\u00a0I\u2019m <em>seeing<\/em> what I\u2019ve had all these years;\u00a0I\u2019m going, \u201cWow! <em>Praise<\/em> God for this woman in my life.\u201d\n\nDennis:\u00a0Jim, I\u2019m going to ask you to do the impossible.\u00a0You\u2019ve shared a couple of very poignant moments with Carol as you cared for her during her five-year battle with cancer.\u00a0If you could only clip out one experience\u2014one setting, one scene, one experience with Carol\u2014do you know what it would be and why?\n\nJim:\u00a0It\u2019s just\/I can tell you the context always is holding her, just holding her.\u00a0Most women love to be held and love to be touched\u2014maybe all do\u2014it\u2019s just <em>holding<\/em> her and then, a little bit of a back rub, a little bit of a neck rub, a little bit of a scalp rub. We joke and laugh; you\u2019ve got to have a sense of humor in this.\u00a0She\u2019s had no hair through most of this journey. It\u2019s come back several times; but then, loses it again. So scalp rubs are pretty easy, so holding her and touching her.\n\nThere are sometimes she\u2019ll roll over and say, \u201cTouch me.\u201d\u00a0So I make sure, and those are the precious\u2014it\u2019s not any one specific <em>date<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s just multiple times doing that and <em>holding<\/em> her tight.\u00a0When I do that, I am just so <em>thankful<\/em> I can do that;\u00a0I get so grateful.\u00a0When she\u2019s in the hospital, and I\u2019m home alone in bed,\u2014\n\nDennis:\u00a0Right.\n\nJim:\u00a0\u2014I think, \u201cOh my. Oh my, I don\u2019t like this.\u201d\u00a0To be able just to <em>hold<\/em> her is really, really a rich experience for me.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Garlow: just a <em>great<\/em> reminder that, when life and death hang in that balance, gone are those petty arguments about who needs to take out the trash, and who\u2019s going to do the dishes, and who left their towels on the floor. It\u2019s really about <em>each other<\/em>, and it\u2019s about our <em>life<\/em>, and about <em>God<\/em>.\n\nCarol passed away not long after Jim\u2019s conversation with Dennis and Bob. They had been married for 42 years. As he said, it was those <em>last years<\/em> that were their <em>best<\/em> years together. You can hear that entire conversation on our website. Go to FamilyLifeThisWeek.com.\n\nAs we wrap up our conversation today, talking about the sanctity of life and the vulnerable\u2014that\u2019s the unborn; that\u2019s the elderly; that\u2019s the disabled; those who can\u2019t speak for themselves\u2014we need to remember that, in our society, we need to remember that how we treat the vulnerable is a marker on, not only on our society, but our Christianity. How are we loving, and how are we cherishing? It\u2019s just something to think about in this Sanctity of Life week.\n\nNext week, Hanna Seymour and Jacqueline Anderson talk about the complexities of dating and singleness. Deepak Reju and Shaunti Feldhahn are going to add their insights and wisdom from their years of research and counsel on singleness. I\u2019m excited about our time together. Whether you\u2019re single, or if you have single friends, make sure to tune in next week.\n\nHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, and our co-founder, Dennis Rainey, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\nOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\nI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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the only time your kids see you worshipping God is at church on Sunday morning, then your kids are missing out on a rich experience that could bond your family on a soul-to-soul level. Don Whitney and Lauren Chandler talk about worshiping together with their families.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-01-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Garlow is a busy pastor and an in-demand speaker, but he found himself having to make the difficult choice of caring for his wife Carol, who was dying of cancer, <em>or<\/em> doing part of his job, which was speaking at high-profile engagements. Here\u2019s Jim.\n\n<strong>Jim:<\/strong> I was supposed to speak at a thing in Washington, DC. She heard that I cancelled because of how she was feeling. She found that out; said, \u201cNo! I\u2019ve been praying for <em>years <\/em>for you to have a voice there. You get on that plane. You call them back; you tell them you\u2019re going.\u201d I did.\n\nI <em>am<\/em> wanting to make sure I <em>treasure<\/em> every day. Being away from her is getting a little harder. At the same time, I probably hold a record of the number of changed schedules, and having to ask to be released from speaking engagements multiple times, and credits I have with airlines for cancelled flights.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It\u2019s Sanctity of Life week, and we\u2019re going to talk about the value of life\u2014all the way to the end\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em> I\u2019m Michelle Hill. A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting an elderly couple. He\u2019s crowding in on 100, and she\u2019s a few years younger than him. Let\u2019s just call them Fred and Ethel. Fred brought our three chairs in close together so that our knees were almost touching. Ethel has Alzheimer\u2019s and was asleep for most of the visit. While her head bobbed softly, Fred kept patting her knee. Occasionally, in her sleep, she would reach for his pinky; and she would just hold it.\n\nIt was a <em>beautiful<\/em> picture to me of love. I know that a lot of work had gone into that picture, and that it hasn\u2019t always been that idyllic life. I asked for their story and listened to him share about meeting her, and getting married, and having their first baby. I also heard from him his standpoint of all the sacrifices that Ethel made on his behalf. Now, he said it was <em>his<\/em> turn to make sacrifices and care for her.\n\nThere\u2019s a word that describes that perfectly; the word is <em>cherish.<\/em> We\u2019re going to talk about cherish, because we\u2019ve hit mid-January; and this weekend and this week, we\u2019re reminded of the sanctity of life. Usually, our minds turn to the unborn and abortion when we hear \u201csanctity of life.\u201d But really, sanctity of life is <em>bigger<\/em> than just the unborn baby because <em>all<\/em> of life is precious, from the beginning to the end.\n\nToday, I want to spend some time understanding that bigger end-of-life aspect. There\u2019s a portion of our society that has become near and dear to my heart, and that is the elderly. I volunteer some of my time at a local nursing home. Volunteers: they sit with folks; sometimes they read books out loud; sometimes they sing songs; sometimes they just sit there and just sit! It\u2019s really given me a deeper understanding of how our bodies are <em>slowly<\/em> wasting away. But even a person, lying on their deathbed, was created in God\u2019s image.\n\nToday, we\u2019re going to hear from Jim Stroud. He\u2019s going to talk to us very practically about how to help our aging parents, or grandparents, or our spouses. We\u2019re also going to hear from Jim Garlow with that touching story of when his wife was dying of cancer.\n\nBut first, I want to hear from Gary Thomas. He is a speaker and author; and he has written the book, <em>Cherish. <\/em>In the book, he shares a story of his friend, Greg, who was a young doctor in residency. Just imagine being a young doctor; your whole reason for being a doctor is that you want to fix people. But for some people, who are at the end of life, it\u2019s not about fixing. Here\u2019s Gary sharing the story of his friend, Greg, when he was making rounds in the hospital one day.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Gary:<\/strong> A woman was there, in her 80s, a neuro-muscular disease that left her in a wheelchair. She would sit at an angle; her mouth was agape; she would occasionally drool. All she could do was moan. There was this 80-something-year-old husband, very spry, filled with energy; a lively kind of guy.\n\nGreg was struck; because usually, it\u2019s the other way around\u2014he says the wife is caring for an ailing husband\u2014but in this case, it was reversed. As a young man might say, he knew all the care that might be required, and looked at this man and he said, \u201cI felt sorry for him.\u201d At this point in his life, he\u2019s having to care for someone who needed this much care.\n\nThen, he looked down at the sheet\u2014and he saw her address, and he saw the husband\u2019s address\u2014he realized she wasn\u2019t at a [nursing] home. He didn\u2019t pick her up on the way to the doctor\u2019s office; he <em>was<\/em> her primary caregiver. Again, he found himself saying, as a young man might, \u201cPlease, God: not me <em>ever.<\/em>\u201d Then, the resident physician got a page, and so he had to leave. That left Greg alone with the husband and the wife.\n\nGreg was a little embarrassed\u2014\u2014there was <em>nothing<\/em> he could help with\u2014he wasn\u2019t far enough along to actually treat. The husband kind of sensed the awkwardness. He broke the silence by saying, \u201cShe\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy; you know?\u201d He [Greg] said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy. We used to set trout lines in that lake over there, two miles away. We\u2019ve been fishin\u2019 all over. This one here\u2014she\u2019s my fishin\u2019 buddy.\u201d He was <em>beaming <\/em>as he said this.\n\nGreg sat transfixed for ten minutes as he regaled him with story after story about what they\u2019d had in their life together. When the husband reached up and wiped a little drool off his wife\u2019s chin, Greg was sort of reminded: for him, it wasn\u2019t any different than when she was a 20-year-old, and they went out for ice cream; and as a little act of flirtation, he was wiping a little ice cream off her chin. He looked at her <em>that<\/em> way. After going through this moment, he said, \u201cGone was any feelings of pity. Instead, in its place, was envy.\u201d Here was a young man who envied this man that had this relationship with his wife.\n\nHere\u2019s the key point that I would make: Greg wasn\u2019t envious of him for loving her. When he was being faithful, and caring for her, and serving her, it actually kind of made Greg feel sorry for him. But when he saw this husband <em>cherish<\/em> his wife\u2014to cherish a woman in her 80s, beset by disease, not even able to communicate, just moaning and drooling, with all the wrinkles\u2014when he saw a husband cherish <em>that wife<\/em>, that\u2019s when he envied him. That\u2019s the power of cherish.\n\nLove is important\u2014we need to celebrate love; we need to proclaim love; love needs to be the bedrock\u2014we need to call each other to love. But there\u2019s something special that happens when we say, \u201cI want to take the next step, and I want to <em>cherish<\/em> my spouse,\u201d\u2014not only what it does for us\u2014but the way it can inspire the next generation.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow; what a sweet story. It kind of reminds me of my time with Fred and Ethel, and just how <em>he<\/em> was caring for <em>her<\/em>. She had spent <em>many<\/em> years caring for him, and now he was caring for her. <em>Great<\/em> story about cherishing from Gary Thomas.\n\nAs I walk the halls in the nursing home, and see the lonely faces, I realize that there\u2019s only a few of those people who are <em>cherished<\/em>, who have people who spend time with them on an ongoing basis. They don\u2019t <em>have<\/em> community; many of them don\u2019t. Community is what we <em>all<\/em> need, because God created us for relationship. Community is <em>hard<\/em>; it\u2019s hard for those of us, who are young and vibrant and busy with life. But imagine what community is like for someone, who is into their 80s. There\u2019s a lot of practical outflow that needs to happen with this.\n\nIn fact, Bob Lepine sat down with Jim Stroud and talked about how his grandparents and his mom had to wrestle through some of the practical-ness of life and aging. Here\u2019s Bob.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking about my grandparents, who lived in Flint, Michigan, all their lives. My grandfather worked at the GM<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> plant in Flint; that\u2019s where they raised their kids, and that\u2019s where they lived into their 80s.\n\nMy mom\u2014meanwhile, she got married\u2014and we moved around the country; she was living in Kansas City. Well, here Grandma and Grandpa are up in Flint, Michigan; Mom\u2019s in Kansas City. When there are health issues, there is nobody but the neighbors; and you\u2019re not sure what you can depend on there. Mom started feeling like she needed Grandma and Grandpa to be close. She went and talked to them about moving to Kansas City. Just like your dad, my grandfather couldn\u2019t imagine leaving where he\u2019d lived his whole life and not cheering for the Detroit Tigers; right?\u00a0 [Laughter] It took some badgering on my mom\u2019s part to ultimately have them sell their house and move their belongings into a retirement community in the Kansas City area, where Mom was living.\n\nHere\u2019s how that marked my mom. After my\u2014both my grandparents passed, and they died in their 90s\u2014when my mom got into her 70s\/in her late 70s, she moved into an assisted living retirement community, a place where it was staged so that there was independent care for a period of time; and then, if you needed more care, it was available onsite.\n\nShe moved in; and I thought, \u201cMom, you don\u2019t need that!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI don\u2019t now, but the time to move in is not when you need it. The time to move in is now, where you can build relationships and make friendships.\u201d\u00a0 She was loving <em>me<\/em> by making that choice to move into that kind of a community; that\u2019s where she lived until she died. It was a\u00a0<em>rich<\/em>\u00a0period of more than a decade, where she lived in that community, and made friends, and had a level of care that was helpful, and then more care when it was needed.\n\nJim, you know there are some old folks, who\/they are a little settled in their ways. They put up resistance when you start saying, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s time not to drive anymore,\u201d\u2014the loss of that freedom is\u00a0huge\u00a0for a lot of older people\u2014or when you say, \u201cMaybe, you ought to move to another place,\u201d\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not; I\u2019ve lived here for 45\u2026\u201d What do you do, as a young person, if you\u2019ve got a mom or a dad, who\u2019s just dug in?\n\nJim:\u00a0I think one of the best ways of communication that we share with adult children\u2014and now with your listeners\u2014is the indirect method. Oftentimes, when they are dug in and they\u2019re independent is: number one, I go back to respect and sensitivity. I have to\u00a0respect\u00a0my loved one for what they\u2019ve achieved\u2014\n\nBob:\u00a0Right.\n\nJim:\u00a0\u2014and the sensitivity of how to approach them.\n\nOftentimes, indirect is a great way: \u201cMom\/Dad, I had a friend [whose] mom\/dad did this. All of a sudden, it created a problem worse,\u201d or \u201cThey got up in the middle of the night and broke a hip. Then, all of a sudden, they\u2019re in the hospital,\u201d and \u201cThey\u00a0knew\u00a0that they had problems with their coordination,\u201d or \u201cThey\u00a0knew\u00a0the medications they were on were not the right medications,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s the indirect way of doing that.\n\nAnother way is what I call the personal approach; that is: \u201cMom\/Dad, I love you. I appreciate all the sacrifice you\u2019ve given, and I\u2019m concerned.\u201d\u00a0 When your parent\u2014as hard and entrenched as they can be\u2014understands your heart and the direction you are coming from, then it\u2019s important. The worst thing is for your parent to feel they are being parented, and that\u2019s the situation where it becomes more reactionary and defensive.\n\nThe indirect way is a good way to <em>start<\/em>; likewise, the empathy of: \u201cThis is the way I really feel. I <em>care<\/em> for you.\u201d And then, the third thing is <em>timing<\/em>. Oftentimes, there are a number of opportunities: healthcare fairs, senior centers, other areas. Compared to what it was 30 years ago, it\u2019s\u00a0vastly\u00a0different. Now, there are a number of organizations\u2014for profit\/not for profit\u2014that have senior fairs, where they can go to them. You can take your loved one and then they can meet individuals in the community\u2014either in the home healthcare area, or in the skilled nursing, or assisted living, or memory care\u2014and they start understanding that: \u201cThis care is very important.\u201d\n\nWhat happens with this care, when they start hearing satisfaction surveys\u2014that\n\n90 percent of the seniors, after six months, like where they live\u2014now, if you take that same survey the first month, it\u2019s 30 percent\u2014so it goes from 30 percent to 90 percent. We use the example of the rosebud. You know, a rosebud, by itself, hasn\u2019t even bloomed; but it needs the right soil; it needs the right sun; it needs the rain\/the right amount of rain. If it doesn\u2019t get one of those three, it can wither and die on the vine; but given the right soil\u2014which could be a senior living community or staying at home: the right care and the right social activities\u2014they blossom. That\u2019s what you see if the needs of a senior are met the right way.\n\nDennis:\u00a0One of the things that you continue to underscore and heighten is the respect for your parent. I really like that because, as they grow old, there is a good bit of aging that robs a person\u2014who has been very vigorous, maybe a hard worker, very smart\u2014where they are experience losses. They need an adult child to respect who they are and also give them a voice. Speak to that concept of \u201cgiving your parents a voice\u201d as you talk about these issues.\n\nJim:\u00a0It\u2019s important, because they\u2019re connection points. Oftentimes, a connection point can be the personal experience, as I always use the phrase, \u201cYou taught me.\u201d Because if it\u2019s the\u2014\u201cYou taught me,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s the lesson you learned from your parent. Now, what you\u2019re doing is exercising that lesson: \u201cYou taught me to care; you taught me to respond. Now, what I want to do is recognize the need; and then let\u2019s talk about the decision. Let\u2019s not just sit there and have it [be] the elephant in the room; let\u2019s really sit down and talk about this.\u201d\n\nAs Bob\u2019s story was with his mother, the <em>key<\/em> to that successful aging was timing. The <em>worst<\/em> thing is when it\u2019s a crisis\u2014to either bring in home healthcare as a crisis situation, because you have a crisis; and someone else comes into the home\u2014or likewise, if you go into a hospital and then move into a senior living community\u2014it\u2019s a crisis environment. What you don\u2019t want is <em>that <\/em>situation. You want it to be one where it could be handled the appropriate way.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Stroud giving us some very practical advice\u2014practical advice on having <em>conversations<\/em> with our folks, and our grandparents, and perhaps with our spouse\u2014those conversations that honor them, uplift them, and <em>cherish<\/em> them.\n\nThat\u2019s what we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014is about <em>cherishing<\/em> the whole <em>entirety <\/em>of the sanctity of life\u2014not only at the beginning but, also, through the end. Jim Stroud is president of Capital Senior Living Corporation. You can hear more of the interview on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com.\n\nHey, we need to take a break; but on the other side, we\u2019re going to hear from Jim Garlow and how he cherished his wife as cancer ravaged her body. Stay tuned.\n\n[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\n<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. If the Bible is true\u2014and I believe it is\u2014King David of Israel penned in the Psalms that we are \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d And we are fearfully and wonderfully made because each human is made in God\u2019s image. That\u2019s pretty incredible. It also means that, from <em>before<\/em> the cradle to the grave, all of life should be valued.\n\nWe\u2019ve been talking today about the sanctity of life and taking a little bit different spin on it. Usually, people talk about the unborn when they are talking about the sanctity of life; we\u2019re talking about the <em>end of life<\/em>. What happens when the end of life comes a little bit sooner than you would expect?\u2014like maybe when you\u2019re thinking you\u2019re young\/you\u2019re in mid-life; you\u2019re happy\u2014and all of a sudden, you receive the diagnosis of cancer or your spouse receives the diagnosis of cancer\u2014and your life changes <em>instantly<\/em>.\n\nThat\u2019s what happened to Jim Garlow. Jim was the senior pastor for many years at Skyline Church in La Mesa, California. He\u2019s also an author. When Jim\u2019s wife Carol received the diagnosis of cancer, and started suffering through some of those side effects, Jim found himself as her main caregiver. Here\u2019s Jim.\n\n[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\n<strong>Jim: <\/strong>The church was so gracious; they allowed me to focus on her <em>totally<\/em> for that first eight months until we could get her back <em>somewhat<\/em> to be able to function normally. There was one span where they could not stop the vomiting\u2014it just wouldn\u2019t quit\u2014seven weeks of it. There were also many other challenges going on.\n\nShe had just vomited again on the bathroom floor\u2014this was a Saturday night\u2014and I was cleaning it up. [Emotion in voice] I started groaning; I got into a pity party. I thought of two pastor friends, right in San Diego\u2014they were very good friends of mine, [whom] I loved deeply\u2014I started complaining to the Lord, saying, \u201cThis guy\u2019s getting to do this. That guy is getting to do that. And <em>I\u2019m<\/em> cleaning up vomit on the bathroom floor, late Saturday night. It isn\u2019t fair, God.\u201d\n\nI <em>so<\/em> clearly heard an impression of the Holy Spirit saying, \u201cYou are doing right now the greatest ministry you have ever done in your life.\u201d That was one of those change points. I realized, \u201cWow!\u00a0 There\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> I\u2019ve ever done, or perhaps ever will do, that is more significant in kingdom eyes than cleaning up vomit on the bathroom floor, approaching midnight on a Saturday night, for my wife.\u201d\u00a0 That was a <em>major<\/em> change for me.\n\nDennis:\u00a0What I hear you saying is Ephesians 5\u00a0incarnate: \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.\u201d\n\nJim: I\u2019ve not always been the best servant. My wife\u2019s been a <em>great<\/em> servant of me and other people, and I learned a lesson in servanthood that I <em>needed<\/em> to learn. I can honestly say the <em>best<\/em> five years of our marriage has been the last five years\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now wait a second.\n\n<strong>Jim:<\/strong> \u2014by <em>far<\/em> the best. When you get into this zone, where you realize you could potentially lose someone that you care deeply about, you suddenly contextualize those challenges of conflict. All of a sudden, the things that were really annoyances\u2014they\u2019re <em>just there<\/em>, and they\u2019re <em>not going<\/em> to change\u2014but they don\u2019t <em>matter<\/em> anymore.\n\nI have been <em>astounded <\/em>at my view of her <em>strengths.<\/em> I\u2019ve realized how incredibly wonderful she is, to the point I\u2019ve found myself saying repeatedly to her\u2014and I never said this in the first 36 years that I can recall; now, maybe I did; but I just don\u2019t recall\u2014for the last 5 years, she\u2019s heard it from me: \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0so glad\u00a0I married you,\u201d \u201cI am\u00a0so glad\u00a0I married you,\u201d \u201cOh, I\u2019m glad I married you.\u201d\u00a0The last five years\u2014she\u2019s, at night, ready to go to sleep\u2014\u201cCarol, I\u2019m so glad I married you.\u201d\u00a0Her strengths have become <em>greater<\/em>.\n\nI told a guy\u2014I had a conversation\u2014just spontaneous conversation last Monday; we were standing out front, out in the parking lot of our church. I said, \u201cWith each passing day, she gets better and better.\u201d\u00a0Now, by that, I meant in my eyes.\u00a0I don\u2019t think that\u2019s because I\u2019m delusional now; I think that\u2019s because I was a little bit blinded <em>then<\/em>.\u00a0I\u2019m <em>seeing<\/em> what I\u2019ve had all these years;\u00a0I\u2019m going, \u201cWow! <em>Praise<\/em> God for this woman in my life.\u201d\n\nDennis:\u00a0Jim, I\u2019m going to ask you to do the impossible.\u00a0You\u2019ve shared a couple of very poignant moments with Carol as you cared for her during her five-year battle with cancer.\u00a0If you could only clip out one experience\u2014one setting, one scene, one experience with Carol\u2014do you know what it would be and why?\n\nJim:\u00a0It\u2019s just\/I can tell you the context always is holding her, just holding her.\u00a0Most women love to be held and love to be touched\u2014maybe all do\u2014it\u2019s just <em>holding<\/em> her and then, a little bit of a back rub, a little bit of a neck rub, a little bit of a scalp rub. We joke and laugh; you\u2019ve got to have a sense of humor in this.\u00a0She\u2019s had no hair through most of this journey. It\u2019s come back several times; but then, loses it again. So scalp rubs are pretty easy, so holding her and touching her.\n\nThere are sometimes she\u2019ll roll over and say, \u201cTouch me.\u201d\u00a0So I make sure, and those are the precious\u2014it\u2019s not any one specific <em>date<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s just multiple times doing that and <em>holding<\/em> her tight.\u00a0When I do that, I am just so <em>thankful<\/em> I can do that;\u00a0I get so grateful.\u00a0When she\u2019s in the hospital, and I\u2019m home alone in bed,\u2014\n\nDennis:\u00a0Right.\n\nJim:\u00a0\u2014I think, \u201cOh my. Oh my, I don\u2019t like this.\u201d\u00a0To be able just to <em>hold<\/em> her is really, really a rich experience for me.\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Jim Garlow: just a <em>great<\/em> reminder that, when life and death hang in that balance, gone are those petty arguments about who needs to take out the trash, and who\u2019s going to do the dishes, and who left their towels on the floor. It\u2019s really about <em>each other<\/em>, and it\u2019s about our <em>life<\/em>, and about <em>God<\/em>.\n\nCarol passed away not long after Jim\u2019s conversation with Dennis and Bob. They had been married for 42 years. As he said, it was those <em>last years<\/em> that were their <em>best<\/em> years together. You can hear that entire conversation on our website. Go to FamilyLifeThisWeek.com.\n\nAs we wrap up our conversation today, talking about the sanctity of life and the vulnerable\u2014that\u2019s the unborn; that\u2019s the elderly; that\u2019s the disabled; those who can\u2019t speak for themselves\u2014we need to remember that, in our society, we need to remember that how we treat the vulnerable is a marker on, not only on our society, but our Christianity. How are we loving, and how are we cherishing? It\u2019s just something to think about in this Sanctity of Life week.\n\nNext week, Hanna Seymour and Jacqueline Anderson talk about the complexities of dating and singleness. Deepak Reju and Shaunti Feldhahn are going to add their insights and wisdom from their years of research and counsel on singleness. I\u2019m excited about our time together. Whether you\u2019re single, or if you have single friends, make sure to tune in next week.\n\nHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, and our co-founder, Dennis Rainey, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\nOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\nI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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