{"id":307368,"date":"2022-01-12T08:02:07","date_gmt":"2022-01-12T13:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-elephants-in-the-room\/"},"modified":"2022-01-12T08:02:07","modified_gmt":"2022-01-12T13:02:07","slug":"the-elephants-in-the-room","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room\/","title":{"rendered":"The Elephants in the Room"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are there any patterns in my life which are negatively influencing my marriage?  Authors Kevin and Marcia Myers say that addressing those &#8220;elephants&#8221; can breathe new life into your relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:05","filesize":"25.72M","filesize_raw":"26969315","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2849],"tags":[2877,7022],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9754],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307368","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-drifting-apart","tag-marriage","tag-patterns","cwp_profile-kevin-and-marcia-myers","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307368\/the-elephants-in-the-room","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307368\/the-elephants-in-the-room","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6FMpQsnC4R\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room\/\">The Elephants in the Room<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room\/embed\/#?secret=6FMpQsnC4R\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Elephants in the Room&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6FMpQsnC4R\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are there any patterns in my life which are negatively influencing my marriage? Authors Kevin and Marcia Myers say that addressing those \"elephants\" can breathe new life into your relationship.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>One of the things that I really, really underestimated when we got married was thebaggage that you brought in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was going to say you had <em>a lot<\/em> of baggage. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t hear me; I said, \u201c\u2026<em>you<\/em> brought in.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know; you had <em>a lot<\/em> of baggage,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Great lead in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and I did too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Think about it. If you would put our childhoods and our families of origin on paper, a counselor would look at us and say, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have real struggles.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Then you put on top of that\u2014that: \u201cYou\u2019re 19 and 22,\u201d\u2014like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We think we don\u2019t need help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cBut God\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s like we were carrying a whole airplane cargo thing down the aisle and then into marriage. [Laughter] Again, I don\u2019t think it showed up for us for a few months, if not even a year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I really thought, \u201cI love Jesus so much all of my baggage has disappeared.\u201d He\u2019s so gracious in that, instead of letting it disappear, He brings it back and says, \u201cOh, I\u2019d love to shape you,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to allow some of that baggage to shape you; or you can ignore it, and it will just wreak havoc on [your] lives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, God actually\u2014we found out\u2014actually used all that for good. It was <em>not<\/em> good\u2014there was a lot of evil in there\u2014but as He redeemed it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014He opened the bags and began to heal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He helped us open them; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a couple with us today that wrote a book that really <em>deals<\/em> with that. Kevin, and his wife Marsha, Myers from Atlanta, Georgia; well, suburbs of Atlanta; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Right; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Twelve Stone Church; four kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin and Marcia:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, welcome to FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got kids and grandkids. You\u2019ve got a big church; you\u2019ve got a full life. Then, on top of that, you write a book called <em>The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about this; because we\u2019ve talked about the \u201cA\u201d Zone, where we all have hopes and dreams. We get into the \u201cB\u201d Zone, which is the real struggle; and a lot of people go\u2014I love it; you\u2019re such a pastor\u2014go to the \u201cQ\u201d Zone, which is \u201cQuit\u201d; right? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia: <\/strong>Right<strong>.<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We don\u2019t want to go to the \u201cQ\u201d Zone; we want to get to the \u201cC\u201d Zone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you don\u2019t know what we\u2019re talking about, get the book or listen to the previous broadcast; because it\u2019s great stuff. But talk about this: What is the \u201csecond happy\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Everybody has that marriage moment, when you exchange the \u201cI do,\u201d with such deep romantic <em>love.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, you <em>feel. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes, you guys have said it: \u201cNo one <em>loves like we love<\/em>. [Laughter] <em>We are forever<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Somewhere along the line, the majority of us fall out of that love, feel like we\u2019ve made mistakes and wonder: \u201cIs there any hope? Do you have to move on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe applied that to our house. You fall in love with a house\u2014you buy it; it\u2019s a fantastic house\u2014then after a while, you see its flaws. That doesn\u2019t just happen with physical houses; it happens with relationships. You see its flaws; and pretty soon, all you see is its flaws. Then you just put the house for sale, sell it, and go buy another one you fall in love with. We do this with houses, and we exchange them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did this with a few houses ourselves until our last house\u2014we\u2019d lived in for ten years, and we were tired of the flaws\u2014then we had the standard American next-thing: \u201cWhat if we renovate?\u201d We started renovating the house that we\u2019d been in for ten years, and we fell back in love with the same house. We re-did the kitchen; we re-did the basement; we did some things in our bathroom. We re-did the house and <em>discovered<\/em> that there is a second happy in the same house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve also discovered that in marriage. You can find a second happy, and it\u2019s more rich; it\u2019s a deeper companionship. It\u2019s everything you hoped was possible, that you lost after the honeymoon. But you don\u2019t get there by accident. What we decided\u2014we hope it\u2019s helpful\u2014is be honest about our journey and the things that you wouldn\u2019t easily see, from the stage or being a neighbor, that went on at home that we had to work through. That\u2019s how we get the seven practices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s really good. As you\u2019re talking, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what we\u2019re hoping for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway.\u201d We really hope: \u201cYou might have a great marriage, but we can help you to get it better,\u201d or \u201cYou might be really struggling, and you can get to the second happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s in, some ways, a renovation weekend; because you sort of look at what you\u2019ve built and you realize, \u201cMan, we\u2019re struggling; we can do better.\u201d We give you tools and, really, a tool bag to say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to help you do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to renovate the house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Some of you are like, \u201cHow do I sign up for this?\u201d I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You can get half off if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com right now; sign up for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway anywhere you want. You can go to a destination; you can go to your own city\u2014there\u2019s probably one near you\u2014and go for the weekend, Friday [evening] to Sunday [noon]. I\u2019m telling you, you will get a second happy. I can\u2019t guarantee it, but I can almost guarantee it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve literally seen God do miracles. One of the last ones I spoke at, a guy came up and said, \u201cRip up my divorce papers.\u201d They were getting <em>divorced<\/em>; they were going to the lawyer on Monday. And God showed up, and they started a second happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started talking about what we brought in\u2014baggage\u2014you talk about this in your book. You have a very interesting chapter called \u201cEvict the Elephant.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I have to read this, Dave, because I thought it was so interesting. You\u2019re saying: \u201cIf a couple really wants their marriage to be all they want it to be, and ultimately all God intends it to be, they need to do what a lot of couples are hesitant to do. They need to learn how to address and evict the elephants in your marriage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I didn\u2019t think that\u2019s what you were going to say. [Laughter] \u201c\u2026evict the elephants\u201d?\u2014what in the world is that? What is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Well, everybody\u2019s probably heard the phrase: \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d All that means is, if we\u2019re sitting here together, and an elephant walked in and sat down on the couch, and nobody reacted\u2014we treated it like that\u2019s normal\u2014it would be <em>so bizarre<\/em> that it would put the whole room in pretense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> We\u2019re not admitting the truth. Something odd\u2014something dysfunctional\u2014something undoing to the environment is in the room. Then, of course, the elephant\u2019s eventually going to do his business; and that gets left in the room. [Laughter] If you don\u2019t acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t acknowledge the mess they make either; so you end up living in pretense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What do you mean by that \u201cpretense\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Let me give an illustration that leads into our family. I\u2019ll do it from family of origin. Let me start. My parents got married in high school\u2014pregnant, left high school, didn\u2019t finish\u2014got married. Dad wasn\u2019t highly motivated, so they lived poor. I was number three, and they were twenty years old when they had me: three kids; twenty; poor; uneducated; no high school graduation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey came to faith in Christ three years later. But my dad had all sorts of baggage, so we lived one way at home and one way at church: <em>two different lives<\/em>. When we went to church, there were times he would say, \u201cStraighten up; we\u2019re at church,\u201d which means: \u201cYou don\u2019t bring the truth of what\u2019s going on at home to church.\u201d We don\u2019t tell the truth, so we live in pretense; and pretense ruined my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, they divorced; and my two older brothers and my dad left. I\u2019m left with Mom and my younger sister. I mean, you can\u2019t do that to a 12-year-old boy and not unravel his life: baggage comes with that; wounds come with that; emotional dysfunction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo family is perfect, so every family has dysfunction. But those are the things that undo the quality of companionship. You can\u2019t get to an experiential oneness unless you travel through pretense\/unless you\u2019re honest about the elephants in the room and begin to evict them. Sometimes, you don\u2019t even know what they are. That\u2019s what we mean by the <em>framework<\/em> for the conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Marcia, did you have any elephants?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes, I would say that I did. We laugh, because my family was far more consistent\u2014Christian\u2014pretty much showed me both at home and at church was the same. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think partly I maybe got a little self-righteous just because I thought: \u201cWell, our family\u2019s perfect,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re perfect, and I can show you how to be perfect,\u201d or \u201cThey did it the right way; therefore, what I do is the right way as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You had a sense of pride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes, I would say\u2014wouldn\u2019t you say that was probably it\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> \u2014more\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> And that was a breakthrough for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Kevin said that pretty quick. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> He did; didn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> I\u2019m telling you: it was a major breakthrough,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to discover that and admit it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> \u2014because she wasn\u2019t <em>wrong<\/em>. She wasn\u2019t wrong; she grew up that way. But just because you live better, the moment it goes to self-righteous, it\u2019s undoing, and off-putting, and distancing. Good kudos for her; because she eventually had the courage to see it, own it, and identify it before I ever could.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> I think, just in relationships, you both come from a different place. When you get married, you\u2019re marrying a whole bunch of things; some of them are good and some of them aren\u2019t so good. But I notice that people always want <em>their <\/em>traditions to come into the marriage and <em>not<\/em> the other person\u2019s traditions: \u201cMy family was right, and your family was wrong.\u201d When actually it\u2019s more like a lot of times they\u2019re just different. We have to decide how to blend them together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> [Laughter] I\u2019m laughing because I married the same woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cAre you not going, \u2018Wow, that is it\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, I remember you saying, as a little girl\u2014and they have a great family; her dad was my high school baseball coach\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t grow up with faith, but they were just good people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, they were really good. In our city\u2014it was a town of about 40,000\u2014they were <em>known<\/em> as <em>the family<\/em>, like: \u201cYou want to be like the Barons.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had all kinds of elephants\u2014they were standing up in the room: from alcohol to adultery to girlfriends to abuse\u2014it\u2019s all there. Then her family really was a model, but it became a <em>problem<\/em> in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I also had sexual abuse in my family. But\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s the secret.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014I didn\u2019t know that was even an elephant. I thought\/\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014I just thought, \u201cIt\u2019s in the other room; it\u2019s not in <em>this<\/em> room.\u201d And it was in the room, <em>stinking<\/em> all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do you do when you start to identify, \u201cWe\u2019ve got some elephants\u201d? I love your cartoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that <em>amazing<\/em>?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell them that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> We put\u2014you have the stick-figure families on the back of a car; and sometimes, you have the pets with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes\u2014on the window, the stickers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>\u2014on the window, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> \u2014the mom, and the dad, and the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> \u2014the little white sticker on the back, with the mom, the dad, the kids. How many kids and, then, whatever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes\u2014maybe the soccer ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes, yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>\u2014so what\u2019s your sport: how many. Whatever\u2014your pets: you\u2019ve got a little dog, a little cat\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe put a family of four: a stick figure dad, mom, two kids; and then we put an elephant. [Laughter] What we were really saying is this: \u201cIf you embrace the elephant as a family pet, here\u2019s what you have to care about, Dave. You\u2019re not going to do anything to evict an elephant until you understand what eventually will be destroyed because of the elephant.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t take the life of King David in the Old Testament, who decided, at a certain point of success, that he wasn\u2019t going to go back out to battle\u2014send everybody else\u2014end up in an affair; hide it\u2014welcome to the elephant in the room\u2014then indirectly, but by his own hand really\u2014murder the husband; marry her; have the kid. What did he begin to do? Pretense, pretense, pretense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, later on\u2014when his own sons did the same kind of thing\u2014I won\u2019t get into the long story about Amnon with Tamar and his other son, Absalom\u2014all of it, there\u2019s pretense. And then David covers it up; does nothing about that. David\u2019s greatest sorrow was what broke between [him] and Absalom, and it was because a family let the elephants become the family pet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe moment you realize the destruction of elephants in the room, you\u2019ll have the courage to evict them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Wherever you are in your marriage or family, everybody brings some baggage\/everybody brings some elephants with them. If you don\u2019t address those and evict them, it eventually will be the source of great damage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Whatever elephant you\u2019re struggling with\u2014it could be sin; it could just be generational in your family\u2014but you\u2019ve got to understand what you just shared is going to go down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking of a mom and dad listening right now. I just want to remind you: \u201cWhat you\u2019re struggling with in the dark\u2014and you think, \u2018Nobody will ever find out\u2019; and they may never find out\u2014but I\u2019m telling you, even as an older dad\/now, a grandfather, that sin goes into your family, even though it\u2019s private. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes, so true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cYou start to see your sons and daughters: \u2018They\u2019re struggling with what I\u2019m struggling with, and they don\u2019t even know that\u2019s my struggle.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> That is correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can see it; and it\u2019s like\u2014then the elephant becomes\u2014nobody\u2019s going to talk about it: \u201cI\u2019m not going to tell them,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not going to let them\u2026\u201d You <em>have to<\/em>\u2014right?\u2014not only talk about it but, then, to evict it. You\u2019ve got to start with: \u201cWhat\u2019s the elephant?\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> When you don\u2019t talk about it, Dave, that\u2019s when you adopt it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oooh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> See the moment you decide <em>not<\/em> to talk about it, you adopted it as the family pet. Even if you put it in the closet, it\u2019s still there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> You\u2019ve now adopted it; you might as well put it on the back of your car with the rest of your family picture and say, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve got elephants; and we just embrace them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>The destruction that comes down the road is <em>horrific<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you guys address the elephant; what did that look like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Oh, my\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so many, obviously\u2014and I brought the majority of elephants. I, eventually, was able to own that. I was eventually able to say, \u201cAlright; we have <em>so much<\/em> baggage\/so many elephants,\u201d and we started with one of mine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what we discovered: when one has the courage to confess there\u2019s an elephant\u2014so you can\u2019t evict it until you admit it\u2019s in the room\u2014so then you say, \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \u201cOkay; look around; admit it\u2019s in the room.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat if there\u2019s 20 elephants?\u201d Pick one; any one will do. [Laughter] Pick the <em>smallest<\/em> elephant and say, \u201cYou know, we have an elephant in the room.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014the least painful; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes, that: \u201cWe can, at least, deal with the baby.\u201d Confess it; and when you do, begin to work through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyhow, when we did\u2014why don\u2019t we illustrate?\u2014why don\u2019t we talk about the difficulty? We had two children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the communication process of navigating conflict, we talk about fair fights. The first section is \u201ccommunication\u201d; the second section is \u201ccompromise\u201d; and then the third is \u201ccounseling,\u201d and that\u2019s when you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> get through it. Many times, you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> get through conflict and get to resolution; because you have elephants. I\u2019m going to put that in a package, so people understand that we eventually\/we had one thing we couldn\u2019t get through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Right; we had two kids, a boy and a girl. Kevin was like, \u201cThis is great. I\u2019ve got a boy; I\u2019ve got a girl; I\u2019m done.\u201d I, on the other hand, was like, \u201cWell, I grew up in a really big family; I <em>love<\/em> being a mom; I don\u2019t think I\u2019m done at two.\u201d That was the conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor years, really, we went back and forth; we would put it under the table for a while, like it wasn\u2019t there. Every once in a while, we\u2019d check back in: \u201cI still want one.\u201d He\u2019d be like, \u201cI still don\u2019t want one.\u201d So there was a constant back and forth that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes; we ended up going to friends\u2014processing with friends\u2014and eventually, we went to a counselor. The counselor said, \u201cYou\u2019re afraid of having more kids, because you\u2019re going to fail like your father.\u201d The next word out of my mouth was an expletive that pastors don\u2019t use, and we <em>left<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because you were <em>mad<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> He was mad; he [counselor] just cut right down to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> He had just said, \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You literally just got up and walked out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes, we were done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> We never went back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> We never went back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, you never went back?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> No; but what I realized is I had seen all my father\u2019s elephants, but I didn\u2019t know how to see my own. I\u2019m not willing to have a third, because I\u2019m not even succeeding with two; and I can\u2019t trust God to help us with three, financially, emotionally or relationally. If we\u2019re struggling with two\u2014more than she knows I\u2019m struggling\u2014I\u2019m not telling her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA whole bunch of us have issues that come from the wounds of our past that make decisions in the present that nobody knows are influencing the decisions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> If you <em>don\u2019t<\/em> acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t know what\u2019s influencing the decision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to begin to say, \u201cLook, I\u2019m concerned about this.\u201d And then her elephant in the room was finance. She came from a financially-stable home. I came from <em>wreckage<\/em>; we had already gone through bankruptcy, growing up, more than once. We were poor\u2014and government subsidized housing; food stamps when I was in high school\u2014I mean, I\/there is something in me that gets <em>affected<\/em> by that. And now, we\u2019re planting a church; it\u2019s not working. We have two children; she wants another one: \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> I was like, \u201cWell, I mean, we always had enough.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to trust Jesus.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what <em>I<\/em> would have said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> \u201cWhy worry about it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> I <em>love<\/em> that answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> I mean, we got into trouble every once in a while; but we always worked it out; you know? I mean, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to <em>starve to death<\/em>. It\u2019s going to be fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I had to come to grips\u2014what we had decided if we\u2019re going to go forward\u2014and there\u2019s a whole other thing about how we came to that decision. But we finally decided that we would have another one, but we had to make an agreement. So the agreement\u2014part of it was that I was going to take over the finances\u2014because he didn\u2019t want to do it anymore. I was like, \u201cOh, I can do this; this is going to be <em>so easy<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cThis is <em>awesome<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> \u201cI <em>cannot<\/em> wait to show him how to do a budget.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia: <\/strong>Well, I was <em>so wrong<\/em>; I made <em>such<\/em> a mess of it. There wasn\u2019t enough money. I thought we would be able to <em>save<\/em>, but it truly was <em>difficult<\/em>. He wasn\u2019t <em>wrong<\/em> about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He had something to be fearful about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> He had something to be fearful about, exactly. Once I figured that out, I was like, \u201cOh, I am putting pressure on him,\u201d especially when you know that: \u201cWhen you have a third child, you\u2019re probably going to get a bigger car; you\u2019re going to want a bigger house.\u201d I\u2019m going to want all these things, and I\u2019m going to just think they should appear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe kind of came to the realization that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to stay where we are; I\u2019m not going to ask you for a new house or a new car. But I am going to get what I really want, which is another child.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was your compromise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marcia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Her work world shifted; and \u201cShe\u2019s going to stay home, and be with the three,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re going to live on whatever we make, and we\u2019re not going to put pressure on the church.\u201d Because that\u2019s what happens a lot\u2014people get mad at the church\u2014pastors get mad at the church or whatever the case might be. People do it in their own business\u2014they get frustrated\u2014somebody feels the pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re making this sound fast, but this took <em>some time<\/em> to navigate and confess what was affecting the decision. I had mine; she had hers. I think hers was finance; mine was all the emotional risk, and to trust God to provide and navigate that. We came to the other side by evicting these elephants.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Addressing them was the hardest thing ever; evicting them was even harder. And yet, here\u2019s our story; and I know yours is exactly the same. You didn\u2019t only have one more child; you had two. [Laughter] So God blessed in an amazing way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only way you get to the second happy, where you get to what you\u2019re hoping it would be at the beginning, is with the gospel. There\u2019s no other way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> There is no other way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Jesus meets you. He creates environments, where the elephants appear; and He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to deal with this,\u201d and then He gives you the <em>power<\/em> to deal with it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually got to the point, where I could experience forgiveness in my life toward the elephants\/toward the sin that was generational in my family. God <em>redeemed<\/em> it; and now, He uses it to help others, like He\u2019s using you and your book and your process. The things you went through, and the things you were able to deal with, are now a blessing to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there\u2019s a couple listening, saying, \u201cWe <em>can\u2019t<\/em> get there.\u201d Yes, you can. You can\u2019t without Jesus, but you <em>can<\/em> if you\u2019re willing to surrender. Again, you can\u2019t surrender your spouse; but you can only surrender <em>you<\/em>. But if you\u2019re willing to say, \u201cI will surrender,\u201d and start the journey to the second happy, He will get you there; He really will. Today\u2019s the day to start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I love Dave Wilson\u2019s point that the hard issues we face in marriage\/in our lives, they\u2019re not too hard for Jesus. He knows the issues, and He can help us overcome: find victory, find strength, find hope. He can bring beauty from ashes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen God is at the center of your marriage, the elephants in the room\u2014that Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Kevin and Marcia Myers about\u2014those elephants can be addressed; our lives can be new; our marriages can be new. That\u2019s the theme of the book Kevin and Marcia Myers have written called <em>The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of their book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the Myers book is <em>The Second Happy<\/em>; find out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen let me encourage you to make a commitment, as a couple, to spend a weekend this spring focusing on your marriage. Get away from the kids, from the distractions\u2014from everything else\u2014just the two of you focusing on one another, talking about God\u2019s design, God\u2019s plan, God\u2019s purposes for your marriage. I don\u2019t know of a better way to do that\/a better place to do that than at the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. We\u2019ve got three or four dozen of these events happening in cities all around the country this spring. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to find a link that will give you information about where and when we are hosting these getaways in a city near where you live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up right now for an upcoming getaway, you will save 50 percent off the regular registration fee as a couple. Great incentive to make the plan now and join us this spring for a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. This special offer expires in about a week-and-a-half, so take advantage of it today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information, or you can register online. If you have any questions, call us: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number. We hope to see you this spring at a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to continue the conversation about marriage. Debra Fileta is going to join us to talk about how couples can be prepared for the hard seasons that are almost inevitable. I say \u201calmost\u201d because I\u2019ve talked to some couples, who would just say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s been a picnic for us\u201d; but that\u2019s not typical; right? All of us have experienced hard seasons in our marriage. How do we get ready for those, and how do we know what to do when we\u2019re in those hard seasons? We\u2019ll hear from Debra Fileta with Dave and Ann Wilson tomorrow. I hope you can be with us. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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