{"id":307359,"date":"2022-01-05T08:02:07","date_gmt":"2022-01-05T13:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/having-the-talk-with-teens\/"},"modified":"2022-01-05T08:02:07","modified_gmt":"2022-01-05T13:02:07","slug":"having-the-talk-with-teens","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-teens\/","title":{"rendered":"Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Teens"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can we articulate God\u2019s high, beautiful view of sex to teens? Drs. Beth Robinson &amp; Latayne Scott offer ideas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:30","filesize":"24.26M","filesize_raw":"25441281","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2844,2815,2855],"tags":[2209,6881,2588],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9751,9752],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307359","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pornography","category-sexual-wholeness","category-teens","tag-parenting","tag-sexuality","tag-teens","cwp_profile-beth-robinson","cwp_profile-latayne-scott","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307359\/having-the-talk-with-teens","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307359\/having-the-talk-with-teens","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"j0HRxgxIUb\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-teens\/\">Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Teens<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-teens\/embed\/#?secret=j0HRxgxIUb\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Teens&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"j0HRxgxIUb\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Growing up in church\u2014and I didn\u2019t go every week but my mom made me go\u2014and when I went over the years, I can never remember anything being said from the pastor at church about sex, except bad stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He scared you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I honestly do not remember hearing ever anything but: \u201cIt\u2019s something you don\u2019t do until you get married,\u201d\u2014which is a good message, obviously\u2014but I don\u2019t <em>ever<\/em> remember hearing a positive message about sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only thing that I heard from my mom was that: \u201cDon\u2019t do anything until you\u2019re married.\u201d I <em>never<\/em> wanted to do anything, and I didn\u2019t even want to go on my honeymoon. I remember thinking, as a 14-\/15-year-old, like, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s going to be <em>me<\/em>, because I already have that desire. What\u2019s <em>wrong<\/em> with me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014whether it\u2019s from your parents, or from the church, or wherever\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat is God\u2019s perspective on sex?\u201d And it\u2019s actually unbelievably <em>good<\/em>. He created it, so it\u2019s an amazing thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about that; because as parents, we need to be able to communicate that to our kids, as well as the dangers; but we err on: \u201cDanger,\u201d \u201cDanger,\u201d \u201cDanger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re so <em>afraid<\/em>. Yes, we\u2019re giving our kids: \u201cDon\u2019t do this; because the Bible says this and this will happen.\u201d But you\u2019re right; we <em>seldom<\/em> talk about the <em>goodness<\/em> of God in this great gift He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The truth is\u2014we know this today\u2014that God wants married Christians to have sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got Dr. Beth with us back again and Dr. Latayne Scott. Thank you for being back on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Thanks!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re glad you\u2019re here. You\u2019re book is called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Obviously, you [Beth], as a college professor and a therapist; and you [Latayne], as a PhD in biblical studies\u2014what a <em>blend<\/em>, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014both mothers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019ve got kids, so you\u2019ve had to navigate walking through this, foster kids as well. As we said, you\u2019re [Beth] teaching freshmen in college. I\u2019m <em>guessing<\/em> there\u2019s a lot of questions about this topic; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> There tend to be, yes, just a few. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014little bit. We\u2019ve already discussed a little bit about the dangers going on in [the] teenage brain, things to stay away from, ways to have conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk today about the <em>good<\/em>; talk about God\u2019s perspective on sexuality. What do we say to our kids? What do you say to your college freshmen? What are the <em>goods<\/em> that we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> hear enough of that we should be sharing with our teens? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My mother inadvertently sent a very different message. I don\u2019t know that she really realized what a strong message she sent. My parents were under a lot of stress when I was a teenager. They were caregiving for my grandparents. We literally built a house across a street from us and moved my grandparents there. My granddad was paralyzed, and we were caregiving him during my junior high and high school years. There was a lot of stress. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mother\u2014at the time, I was kind of embarrassed about the conversation\u2014but my mother had a conversation with me when I was a teenager. The thing she communicated to me was that the sexual relationship she and my dad had held the marriage together when the times were tough. I thought, \u201cMan, that is <em>powerful<\/em>,\u201d because I <em>saw<\/em> the arguing. [Laughter] But I mean, it was such a <em>strong<\/em> message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mother didn\u2019t communicate it in any way that would have suggested that: \u201cThis is the message I want you to have\u201d; it was just kind of a momentary comment she made in the middle of something, but that stuck with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How old were you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think I was 16 or 17. I thought, \u201cMan, that has got to be powerfully good; because I have seen the struggle.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My parents really came from very different places\u2014wonderful Christian people\/<em>great<\/em> parents\u2014I would say their marriage struggled during raising kids and teen years. I think a lot of people\u2019s do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I came with that background. Then I come in\u2014and I read in Genesis, where it says we are created in the image of God [Genesis 1:27]\u2014I keep re-reading that; and I\u2019m going, \u201cOkay\u2014all this sexuality stuff\u2014I guess He kind of <em>knew<\/em> about it.\u201d [Laughter] Don\u2019t you think He kind of <em>knew<\/em> about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes, so lots of times, when I\u2019m doing seminars and talking to parents and teens, I\u2019ll divide the parents and the teens up. I\u2019ll put the teens together and the parents together, so they answer different questions. But one of the things I like to say is: \u201cYou know, I read this in Genesis; let\u2019s all read this.\u201d I say, \u201cCould we all agree we\u2019re sexual beings?\u201d They all raise their hand and say, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat opens up the conversation to where it\u2019s okay to mention sexuality when we\u2019re in a church; because God created us to be sexual, and sex is a way of connecting that is stronger than anything else. The biological research about sex is how strong a bond it creates\u2014that is literally, almost unbreakable, biologically\u2014that will hold a relationship together. And all we focus on is all the \u201cdon\u2019ts,\u201d not the \u201cdos.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So often, our perspective on sexuality has been the negative. Like I said, I grew up in church and <em>never <\/em>heard a positive; it was always \u201cBe careful.\u201d It felt dirty, you know? I know that probably wasn\u2019t what he wanted it to come out like, but that\u2019s what you felt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo when you say that, my first response is, \u201cOoh.\u201d I wonder how many people think, \u201cOoh\u201d; and it should be \u201cAhh.\u201d That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> perspective to say: \u201cSexuality <em>is<\/em> a beautiful thing. God created one of the most intimate, beautiful experiences a person can ever have on the planet.\u201d That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> perspective rather than the opposite.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But Dave, this shows you that there\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> battle going on for this area\u2014in my opinion, a true battle\u2014because you see the <em>beauty<\/em> of that, and then you see how it\u2019s been twisted and warped; and there\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014abuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014there\u2019s trafficking, and there\u2019s abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLatayne, you\u2019ve talked about this a little bit. Talk about that battle that\u2019s waging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Yes; we think that the resources we have are only those things on hand, or the things the world can provide, or that our logic or our experience can provide; but in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2 Corinthians 10:3-5, it says that we don\u2019t wage battle the way the world does; because we have different kind of weapons, and these are weapons that have divine power to demolish strongholds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStrongholds are those things that exist in our minds that have to be battled against. He also mentions \u201carguments\u201d and \u201cpretensions.\u201d An argument is where you have two strong points of view. We have tools from God\/divine tools that have power beyond our own selves to be able to go in and to demolish these arguments and to discern which is right and which is wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s always a mistake, I think, to think that we\u2019re on our own in this. You mentioned prayer\u2014that and another thing that Beth and I both emphasize\u2014is memorizing Scripture. There is something about the Word of God\/its inherent power that, when you memorize it, and it becomes part of your mind and your soul, it really does change you, and it does change circumstances. All of those things are part of those weapons that God has given us, that are not our own weapons; and they\u2019re not logic; and they are not any other resources that we have otherwise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really easy\u2014and I know that we\u2019ve all experienced this\u2014to think that the war we\u2019re battling or the battle is against a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>All:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave<\/strong>: In marriage, we often think it\u2019s our spouse. We\/at FamilyLife, we have a marriage getaway we call the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. One of the points that we make\u2014we actually often will say to the couples sitting there\u2014\u201cTurn to your spouse right now and say, \u2018You are not my enemy.\u2019\u201d But you know, you remind them of Ephesians 6: \u201cNo, there is an enemy; and he\u2019s trying to destroy your marriage. You\u2019re in a foxhole, and he\u2019s shooting at you. You\u2019re turning towards your partner in the foxhole when he\u2019s there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019re talking here, that enemy, Satan, will use this area\u2014sexual understanding\/confusion, temptation, porn\u2014you name it. I\u2019m not blaming everything on the devil, but is he involved in this?\u2014oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause when we talk about sexuality at our conferences, or at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, I\u2019m always somewhat shocked at the number of people that come up and want to talk about their sex life or their marriage; and it\u2019s <em>usually<\/em> pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They don\u2019t usually come up and say, \u201cMan, it\u2019s one of the best things in our marriage; it\u2019s brought us closer.\u201d Like you were saying earlier, it\u2019s pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget when Ann and I first went to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014we\u2019ve been speakers for it now over 30 years\u2014but this was our first going to the conference, engaged; two weeks from this weekend, we\u2019re getting married. That\u2019s the first time I ever heard that truth: \u201cYour spouse is not your enemy,\u201d\u2014Ephesians 6\u2014\u201cYou are waging war against spiritual forces in heavenly realms [Ephesians 6:12 paraphrased].\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was it?\u2014we got married two weeks later\u2014six months later, we are in Wyoming at her uncle\u2019s\u2014right?\u2014your uncle\u2019s place, just for a little vacation. He uncle and aunt were gone; we were in the house, and we get in a fight in the bedroom. I remember I got up and was so mad I walked out of the bedroom, and start stomping down the hall. She yells at me. What did you yell?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m not the enemy here! I\u2019m not the enemy!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I remember I was so mad\u2014because I was walking down the hall\u2014because she had just reminded me of a truth that we had heard six months ago; and I\u2019m mad that, \u201cShe\u2019s right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here\u2019s what nobody knew\u2014and she didn\u2019t even know at that moment\u2014two hours before that fight, I remember I got out of bed. They were all gone; I\u2019m in a house I don\u2019t know, and I went downstairs. I\u2019m walking around, and I go over to the bookcase; and there\u2019s pornography\u2014back then print\u2014<em>Playboy<\/em>\/<em>Penthouse<\/em>\u2014whatever it was, and I pulled it out. I stumbled, and I looked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo hours later, I\u2019m in a fight with my wife. You don\u2019t think there was an enemy? Again, I\u2019m not <em>blaming<\/em> Satan; that was a bad choice <em>that I made<\/em>. But to step back, and look, and go, \u201cThere was a war going on behind the curtain; I didn\u2019t even realize I was in the middle of.\u201d Ann reminded me: \u201cNo, we\u2019re together; we\u2019re a team here. Let\u2019s turn and fight <em>him<\/em>.\u201d But the sexuality part was a part of that little battle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> You gave him a foothold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth<\/strong>: That\u2019s what it says in Scripture; you gave him a foothold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> <em>Exactly<\/em> what Scripture says.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we keep ourselves, even as adults and as parents in our homes, keep coming back with our kids, keep teaching the good\/the beautiful? How do we stay there?\u2014because it\u2019s so easy to end up in the sewer\/in the darkness rather than the positive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know why you are smiling, but that caused you to smile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Read the Song of Solomon aloud. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I just think about\/I\u2019m not sure that Satan doesn\u2019t have a huge foothold with our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Our kids are just so inundated with sexuality; how can you <em>not<\/em> come back to it all the time?\u2014I mean, if you\u2019re just living in the world they are living in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are ways we can restrict it. We do have more parents, who are homeschooling and doing things like that to protect their children and to have more influence on their children too. But we have got to be so intentional about it and so willing to talk about it. I do think parents have work to do. Sexuality is so holy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly; but when you have sexual abuse\/when things have been done to you that have harmed you, that doesn\u2019t seem like a holy thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> No, it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em>. You know, when you look at\u2014we\u2019ve got generations of people who have been hurt that can\u2019t talk about sexuality without it bringing hurt\u2014that\u2019s where we have lost our way in the church. The church is global, denominational Christian; we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> speak to this; we remain <em>way<\/em> too silent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think that we have to be able to talk about it and say, \u201cIt is holy\u201d; and we should look at it that way. There shouldn\u2019t be girls, who are coming to see me in my office at LCU, who have gotten married, who have been told: \u201cNo; you are supposed to say, \u2018No to sex,\u2019 \u2018No to sex.\u2019\u201d Then they get married, and their husband wants to have sex all the time, and all they hear is: \u201cNo,\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d They come in feeling shameful\/degraded, because they don\u2019t have a good biblical view of sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll be honest; a lot of times, I have them bring in their marriage license. I change it; and I make it a license to have sex, and they walk out the door. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cLook at what my counsellor gave me, honey!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I do want to make sure our listeners understand: we <em>do<\/em> want to tell them to wait. \u201cNo,\u201d is still the right answer to \u201cShould I have sex before marriage?\u201d \u201cNo, God\u2019s saying, \u2018I want something <em>better<\/em> for you, and it\u2019s going be in a covenant called marriage.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat should our message be <em>besides<\/em> just: \u201cWait,\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think our problem has been our <em>only<\/em> message has been \u201cWait,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d We haven\u2019t gone ahead and said, \u201cThis is a beautiful connection that you will share with your spouse; there is nothing else like it. It <em>is<\/em> soul.\u201d I love that you [Dave] mentioned the soul; it connects your souls. There\u2019s nothing else like that. It is holy, and God does know about it; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It may not be great at first, and it could take time to get to know each other, and it will continue to get better. I think so often, in the past\u2014and we are at fault at this, too\u2014of saying, \u201cIf you obey and say, \u2018No,\u2019 then when you get married, it\u2019s going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand easy.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So all these people are coming back, saying, \u201cNo, it has not been easy; because I still hear that \u2018No\u2019 in my head.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We got a direct message on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> this week\u2014somebody reached out, and we love that\u2014that people can reach out and we can help in any way that we can. They said, \u201cI feel like I wasted my virginity; because I waited, and now I\u2019m married; and it\u2019s not anything like we were promised.\u201d They were talking about the bedroom as much as anything else. That was her comment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, our response is: \u201cGuess what? This is one of the hardest areas of a marriage to really cultivate, but you want to cultivate it <em>with<\/em> your spouse.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014especially [when] so many of us come in with wounds today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth: <\/strong>Yes, and I think that we should be providing resources so when our teens get to the point\u2014or young adults, where they\u2019re getting married\u2014we should be providing them resources that prepare them for that, not [just saying]: \u201cIt\u2019s going to be <em>great<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> There are lots of resources that are available. I think all of that is realistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have so many women coming to me now, who are married, who are saying, \u201cMy husband isn\u2019t interested in the physical intimacy, and I thought he would be. I feel like I\u2019m the one that\u2019s pursuing <em>him<\/em>. Is there something wrong with <em>me<\/em>? There\u2019s been porn involved in the past, and I think he\u2019s still struggling.\u201d Are you seeing that that is something that people are struggling with today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I would say huge numbers\u2014more than we\u2019ve ever seen\u2014men <em>and<\/em> women. We write in the book about how men tend to be more visual; women tend to read the sex stories and stuff or romance novels. I think that makes it so idealized that people aren\u2019t willing to commit in a relationship to really <em>develop<\/em> a healthy sexual relationship with a partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>If we\u2019re talking\u2014we\u2019re talking to positives today\u2014how are we talking to our kids: our sons <em>and<\/em> daughters\u2014about the effects of porn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I talk real openly. I\u2019ve had more boys than girls live in my home. I\u2019ll say to the boys: \u201cThat\u2019s not how it is. That builds up an ideal of something that it\u2019s really <em>not<\/em>. It\u2019s not about all that physical. It\u2019s really much more emotional and spiritual than we give it credit for, so that\u2019s not how it\u2019s going to be at all.\u201d I think we have to be that honest about it and talk about how that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> what it\u2019s like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about\u2014and I know we just have a few minutes left\u2014but what would you say to the <em>shame<\/em> that men and women carry, because they\u2019ve made mistakes in this area\u2014whether it be porn; or maybe something that has been done to them, abuse-wise, that they carry and feel like they can\u2019t get free of. There\u2019s sexual shame and guilt that\u2019s <em>heavy<\/em> that couples come up to us\u2014man, you can <em>feel<\/em> it\u2014they\u2019re <em>living in it<\/em>, even though it\u2019s maybe years or decades since they\u2019ve made these decisions or things happened to them; but they are still living it. Because it\u2019s so sacred and soulish in nature, it\u2019s something that\u2019s hard to shake, even if you understand the forgiveness of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I was just thinking about what Paul said\u2014and it\u2019s a hard teaching\u2014but he said that every sin that a man commits is a type of sin, but sexual sin is particularly destructive [1 Corinthians 6:18]. It is true that it\u2019s destructive. The people that feel that pain\u2014it\u2019s not imaginary; it\u2019s not they\u2019re cooking it up in their brains; they\u2019re not hyper guilty individuals\u2014but sexual sin has a way of damaging in ways that other sin doesn\u2019t, according to Paul, so we need to take him at his word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, we serve a God who is a God of second chances and resurrections. When He says He takes our sins and throws them into the depths of the ocean, that means there\u2019s no diver that can get out that. When He says He puts things out of His mind and He remembers them no more, that means that we can take His representation of our sins over our own, and in those darkest hours of our night, when we are counting up our own sins, we serve a God, who says, \u201cI don\u2019t even remember those,\u201d and that\u2019s a great comfort to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think there\u2019s something also very powerful about having a trustworthy partner that you can share openly that vulnerability\/that sense of shame, having them be able to look in your eyes\/hold your hands. Some of the things that you can\u2019t even say, they\u2019re there; and they\u2019re able to know, and love you, and see you as whole. I think there\u2019s a lot of healing to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I agree 1,000 percent. I\u2019ve always said, \u201cIf you really want to see God change your life,\u201d\u2014and I know I\u2019m being very simplistic here; there\u2019s <em>many<\/em> more things\u2014but I always say, \u201cYou need two things: the power of God\/the people of God.\u201d You\u2019ve got to have the power of God\u2014and we sort of think, \u201cThat\u2019s all I need\u201d; and in a sense, it is\u2014but He builds us in such a way we need other humans that we can trust\/that we can be safe with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven if you\u2019re listening now, and you\u2019ve got something in the dark you\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> said to a friend\/a trusted friend, this could be the day to take a step toward freedom. You\u2019ve already told God, I\u2019m guessing, and you\u2019ve asked for His forgiveness\u2014and He\u2019s given it, by the way\u2014but to tell a friend: maybe your spouse; or if you\u2019re a man, tell another buddy; or if you\u2019re a woman, tell a woman\u2014that is the beginning of healing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can remember sharing with our high schoolers about my sexual abuse\u2014they were old enough to handle it at that point\u2014just sharing with them, because I think they thought I was a little hyper-vigilant about abuse or any circumstances that they might\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014protecting them, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014be in that could cause them any kind of harm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember sharing with them, feeling that: \u201cJesus has set me free from that shame\u201d; but there is also something really powerful and intimate about: \u201cThis is why I\u2019m so vigilant of you guys knowing God\u2019s <em>beautiful<\/em> plan for sexuality, because He loves us so much; He <em>longs<\/em> for us to experience all the best that He has.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy sharing my story, I felt this freedom, like, \u201cI don\u2019t want there to be separation between us.\u201d I said it in appropriate ways. But I think there is something about freedom that comes from being able to tell another person: \u201cThis is what I\u2019ve been through,\u201d and then there\u2019s this incredible miraculous resurrection of: \u201cBut Jesus has set me free,\u201d\u2014and maybe He\u2019s not completely done with the healing\u2014but He <em>continues<\/em> to heal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> God\u2019s good gift of sexuality is something that can be a source of profound blessing in our lives when we use it according to God\u2019s design. It can also be a source of profound pain and scarring in our lives when we don\u2019t follow God\u2019s pattern. This is why this is such an important subject for us to be talking openly and honestly with our teenagers to help them avoid the pitfalls and avoid the scars; and at the same time, to help prepare them for the great blessing that sexuality can be in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLatayne Scott and Beth Robinson\u2019s book, <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>, is a guidebook. It\u2019s a roadmap for us, as parents, to know how to talk about things like gender identity, pornography, purity, dating, same-sex attraction, social media\/all of the subjects that are confronting our teens related to the issue of sexuality. This is a book we\u2019ve got available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book, <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Again, our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019re not familiar with the resource FamilyLife has developed as a getaway weekend for parents and teens to talk about these issues of gender and sexuality, check out <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. There\u2019s information about it on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. You may want to make plans now for you and your son or daughter to get away for a couple of days and have these important conversations. If that\u2019s the case, this resource would be a <em>great<\/em> tool to help you in that process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know a lot of us are looking at this new year with expectancy and with hope\u20142022\u2014we pray it\u2019s going to be a great year for you and your family. We\u2019re praying it will be a great year, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019re very encouraged as we head into this new year because, over the last couple of weeks, we\u2019ve heard from many of you who knew that we had a matching-gift offer that had been extended, and that motivated many of you to give sacrificially in December. We are grateful for that. We want to acknowledge that and say, \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe still don\u2019t have the final numbers tallied yet from yearend giving. In fact, we\u2019re still getting mail that was mailed to us in the last week of December; so we\u2019ve still got some work in front of us, and I can\u2019t report to you on the final results of the matching gift. But I can tell you just how grateful we are for your participation in that. So many of you reached out and said, \u201cThank you,\u201d and cheered us on for 2022. We are looking forward to a great year, and many of you are helping to make that happen. So thank you for your support at yearend, and thank you for your ongoing support throughout 2022. We are grateful for, not only our listeners, but especially for those of you who are partners with us, here in the ministry at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the challenges that can come with blending a family when you have older adult children. I mean, you would think, with adult kids, it\u2019s going to be okay; and you\u2019d be surprised. Well, you will be surprised as we hear from Terry and Carol Moss and their two adult children tomorrow. Ron Deal will be here with us, as well; I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:30"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.26M"],"filesize_raw":["25441281"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307359.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307359.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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can we articulate God\u2019s high, beautiful view of sex to teens? Drs. Beth Robinson &amp; Latayne Scott offer ideas.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Growing up in church\u2014and I didn\u2019t go every week but my mom made me go\u2014and when I went over the years, I can never remember anything being said from the pastor at church about sex, except bad stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He scared you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I honestly do not remember hearing ever anything but: \u201cIt\u2019s something you don\u2019t do until you get married,\u201d\u2014which is a good message, obviously\u2014but I don\u2019t <em>ever<\/em> remember hearing a positive message about sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only thing that I heard from my mom was that: \u201cDon\u2019t do anything until you\u2019re married.\u201d I <em>never<\/em> wanted to do anything, and I didn\u2019t even want to go on my honeymoon. I remember thinking, as a 14-\/15-year-old, like, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s going to be <em>me<\/em>, because I already have that desire. What\u2019s <em>wrong<\/em> with me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014whether it\u2019s from your parents, or from the church, or wherever\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat is God\u2019s perspective on sex?\u201d And it\u2019s actually unbelievably <em>good<\/em>. He created it, so it\u2019s an amazing thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about that; because as parents, we need to be able to communicate that to our kids, as well as the dangers; but we err on: \u201cDanger,\u201d \u201cDanger,\u201d \u201cDanger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re so <em>afraid<\/em>. Yes, we\u2019re giving our kids: \u201cDon\u2019t do this; because the Bible says this and this will happen.\u201d But you\u2019re right; we <em>seldom<\/em> talk about the <em>goodness<\/em> of God in this great gift He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The truth is\u2014we know this today\u2014that God wants married Christians to have sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got Dr. Beth with us back again and Dr. Latayne Scott. Thank you for being back on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Thanks!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re glad you\u2019re here. You\u2019re book is called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Obviously, you [Beth], as a college professor and a therapist; and you [Latayne], as a PhD in biblical studies\u2014what a <em>blend<\/em>, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014both mothers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019ve got kids, so you\u2019ve had to navigate walking through this, foster kids as well. As we said, you\u2019re [Beth] teaching freshmen in college. I\u2019m <em>guessing<\/em> there\u2019s a lot of questions about this topic; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> There tend to be, yes, just a few. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014little bit. We\u2019ve already discussed a little bit about the dangers going on in [the] teenage brain, things to stay away from, ways to have conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk today about the <em>good<\/em>; talk about God\u2019s perspective on sexuality. What do we say to our kids? What do you say to your college freshmen? What are the <em>goods<\/em> that we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> hear enough of that we should be sharing with our teens? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My mother inadvertently sent a very different message. I don\u2019t know that she really realized what a strong message she sent. My parents were under a lot of stress when I was a teenager. They were caregiving for my grandparents. We literally built a house across a street from us and moved my grandparents there. My granddad was paralyzed, and we were caregiving him during my junior high and high school years. There was a lot of stress. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mother\u2014at the time, I was kind of embarrassed about the conversation\u2014but my mother had a conversation with me when I was a teenager. The thing she communicated to me was that the sexual relationship she and my dad had held the marriage together when the times were tough. I thought, \u201cMan, that is <em>powerful<\/em>,\u201d because I <em>saw<\/em> the arguing. [Laughter] But I mean, it was such a <em>strong<\/em> message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mother didn\u2019t communicate it in any way that would have suggested that: \u201cThis is the message I want you to have\u201d; it was just kind of a momentary comment she made in the middle of something, but that stuck with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How old were you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think I was 16 or 17. I thought, \u201cMan, that has got to be powerfully good; because I have seen the struggle.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My parents really came from very different places\u2014wonderful Christian people\/<em>great<\/em> parents\u2014I would say their marriage struggled during raising kids and teen years. I think a lot of people\u2019s do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I came with that background. Then I come in\u2014and I read in Genesis, where it says we are created in the image of God [Genesis 1:27]\u2014I keep re-reading that; and I\u2019m going, \u201cOkay\u2014all this sexuality stuff\u2014I guess He kind of <em>knew<\/em> about it.\u201d [Laughter] Don\u2019t you think He kind of <em>knew<\/em> about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes, so lots of times, when I\u2019m doing seminars and talking to parents and teens, I\u2019ll divide the parents and the teens up. I\u2019ll put the teens together and the parents together, so they answer different questions. But one of the things I like to say is: \u201cYou know, I read this in Genesis; let\u2019s all read this.\u201d I say, \u201cCould we all agree we\u2019re sexual beings?\u201d They all raise their hand and say, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat opens up the conversation to where it\u2019s okay to mention sexuality when we\u2019re in a church; because God created us to be sexual, and sex is a way of connecting that is stronger than anything else. The biological research about sex is how strong a bond it creates\u2014that is literally, almost unbreakable, biologically\u2014that will hold a relationship together. And all we focus on is all the \u201cdon\u2019ts,\u201d not the \u201cdos.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So often, our perspective on sexuality has been the negative. Like I said, I grew up in church and <em>never <\/em>heard a positive; it was always \u201cBe careful.\u201d It felt dirty, you know? I know that probably wasn\u2019t what he wanted it to come out like, but that\u2019s what you felt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo when you say that, my first response is, \u201cOoh.\u201d I wonder how many people think, \u201cOoh\u201d; and it should be \u201cAhh.\u201d That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> perspective to say: \u201cSexuality <em>is<\/em> a beautiful thing. God created one of the most intimate, beautiful experiences a person can ever have on the planet.\u201d That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> perspective rather than the opposite.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But Dave, this shows you that there\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> battle going on for this area\u2014in my opinion, a true battle\u2014because you see the <em>beauty<\/em> of that, and then you see how it\u2019s been twisted and warped; and there\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014abuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014there\u2019s trafficking, and there\u2019s abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLatayne, you\u2019ve talked about this a little bit. Talk about that battle that\u2019s waging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Yes; we think that the resources we have are only those things on hand, or the things the world can provide, or that our logic or our experience can provide; but in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2 Corinthians 10:3-5, it says that we don\u2019t wage battle the way the world does; because we have different kind of weapons, and these are weapons that have divine power to demolish strongholds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStrongholds are those things that exist in our minds that have to be battled against. He also mentions \u201carguments\u201d and \u201cpretensions.\u201d An argument is where you have two strong points of view. We have tools from God\/divine tools that have power beyond our own selves to be able to go in and to demolish these arguments and to discern which is right and which is wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s always a mistake, I think, to think that we\u2019re on our own in this. You mentioned prayer\u2014that and another thing that Beth and I both emphasize\u2014is memorizing Scripture. There is something about the Word of God\/its inherent power that, when you memorize it, and it becomes part of your mind and your soul, it really does change you, and it does change circumstances. All of those things are part of those weapons that God has given us, that are not our own weapons; and they\u2019re not logic; and they are not any other resources that we have otherwise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really easy\u2014and I know that we\u2019ve all experienced this\u2014to think that the war we\u2019re battling or the battle is against a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>All:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave<\/strong>: In marriage, we often think it\u2019s our spouse. We\/at FamilyLife, we have a marriage getaway we call the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. One of the points that we make\u2014we actually often will say to the couples sitting there\u2014\u201cTurn to your spouse right now and say, \u2018You are not my enemy.\u2019\u201d But you know, you remind them of Ephesians 6: \u201cNo, there is an enemy; and he\u2019s trying to destroy your marriage. You\u2019re in a foxhole, and he\u2019s shooting at you. You\u2019re turning towards your partner in the foxhole when he\u2019s there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019re talking here, that enemy, Satan, will use this area\u2014sexual understanding\/confusion, temptation, porn\u2014you name it. I\u2019m not blaming everything on the devil, but is he involved in this?\u2014oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause when we talk about sexuality at our conferences, or at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, I\u2019m always somewhat shocked at the number of people that come up and want to talk about their sex life or their marriage; and it\u2019s <em>usually<\/em> pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They don\u2019t usually come up and say, \u201cMan, it\u2019s one of the best things in our marriage; it\u2019s brought us closer.\u201d Like you were saying earlier, it\u2019s pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget when Ann and I first went to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014we\u2019ve been speakers for it now over 30 years\u2014but this was our first going to the conference, engaged; two weeks from this weekend, we\u2019re getting married. That\u2019s the first time I ever heard that truth: \u201cYour spouse is not your enemy,\u201d\u2014Ephesians 6\u2014\u201cYou are waging war against spiritual forces in heavenly realms [Ephesians 6:12 paraphrased].\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was it?\u2014we got married two weeks later\u2014six months later, we are in Wyoming at her uncle\u2019s\u2014right?\u2014your uncle\u2019s place, just for a little vacation. He uncle and aunt were gone; we were in the house, and we get in a fight in the bedroom. I remember I got up and was so mad I walked out of the bedroom, and start stomping down the hall. She yells at me. What did you yell?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m not the enemy here! I\u2019m not the enemy!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I remember I was so mad\u2014because I was walking down the hall\u2014because she had just reminded me of a truth that we had heard six months ago; and I\u2019m mad that, \u201cShe\u2019s right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here\u2019s what nobody knew\u2014and she didn\u2019t even know at that moment\u2014two hours before that fight, I remember I got out of bed. They were all gone; I\u2019m in a house I don\u2019t know, and I went downstairs. I\u2019m walking around, and I go over to the bookcase; and there\u2019s pornography\u2014back then print\u2014<em>Playboy<\/em>\/<em>Penthouse<\/em>\u2014whatever it was, and I pulled it out. I stumbled, and I looked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo hours later, I\u2019m in a fight with my wife. You don\u2019t think there was an enemy? Again, I\u2019m not <em>blaming<\/em> Satan; that was a bad choice <em>that I made<\/em>. But to step back, and look, and go, \u201cThere was a war going on behind the curtain; I didn\u2019t even realize I was in the middle of.\u201d Ann reminded me: \u201cNo, we\u2019re together; we\u2019re a team here. Let\u2019s turn and fight <em>him<\/em>.\u201d But the sexuality part was a part of that little battle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> You gave him a foothold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth<\/strong>: That\u2019s what it says in Scripture; you gave him a foothold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> <em>Exactly<\/em> what Scripture says.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we keep ourselves, even as adults and as parents in our homes, keep coming back with our kids, keep teaching the good\/the beautiful? How do we stay there?\u2014because it\u2019s so easy to end up in the sewer\/in the darkness rather than the positive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know why you are smiling, but that caused you to smile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> Read the Song of Solomon aloud. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I just think about\/I\u2019m not sure that Satan doesn\u2019t have a huge foothold with our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Our kids are just so inundated with sexuality; how can you <em>not<\/em> come back to it all the time?\u2014I mean, if you\u2019re just living in the world they are living in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are ways we can restrict it. We do have more parents, who are homeschooling and doing things like that to protect their children and to have more influence on their children too. But we have got to be so intentional about it and so willing to talk about it. I do think parents have work to do. Sexuality is so holy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly; but when you have sexual abuse\/when things have been done to you that have harmed you, that doesn\u2019t seem like a holy thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> No, it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em>. You know, when you look at\u2014we\u2019ve got generations of people who have been hurt that can\u2019t talk about sexuality without it bringing hurt\u2014that\u2019s where we have lost our way in the church. The church is global, denominational Christian; we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> speak to this; we remain <em>way<\/em> too silent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think that we have to be able to talk about it and say, \u201cIt is holy\u201d; and we should look at it that way. There shouldn\u2019t be girls, who are coming to see me in my office at LCU, who have gotten married, who have been told: \u201cNo; you are supposed to say, \u2018No to sex,\u2019 \u2018No to sex.\u2019\u201d Then they get married, and their husband wants to have sex all the time, and all they hear is: \u201cNo,\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d They come in feeling shameful\/degraded, because they don\u2019t have a good biblical view of sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll be honest; a lot of times, I have them bring in their marriage license. I change it; and I make it a license to have sex, and they walk out the door. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cLook at what my counsellor gave me, honey!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I do want to make sure our listeners understand: we <em>do<\/em> want to tell them to wait. \u201cNo,\u201d is still the right answer to \u201cShould I have sex before marriage?\u201d \u201cNo, God\u2019s saying, \u2018I want something <em>better<\/em> for you, and it\u2019s going be in a covenant called marriage.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat should our message be <em>besides<\/em> just: \u201cWait,\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think our problem has been our <em>only<\/em> message has been \u201cWait,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d We haven\u2019t gone ahead and said, \u201cThis is a beautiful connection that you will share with your spouse; there is nothing else like it. It <em>is<\/em> soul.\u201d I love that you [Dave] mentioned the soul; it connects your souls. There\u2019s nothing else like that. It is holy, and God does know about it; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It may not be great at first, and it could take time to get to know each other, and it will continue to get better. I think so often, in the past\u2014and we are at fault at this, too\u2014of saying, \u201cIf you obey and say, \u2018No,\u2019 then when you get married, it\u2019s going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand easy.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So all these people are coming back, saying, \u201cNo, it has not been easy; because I still hear that \u2018No\u2019 in my head.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We got a direct message on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> this week\u2014somebody reached out, and we love that\u2014that people can reach out and we can help in any way that we can. They said, \u201cI feel like I wasted my virginity; because I waited, and now I\u2019m married; and it\u2019s not anything like we were promised.\u201d They were talking about the bedroom as much as anything else. That was her comment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, our response is: \u201cGuess what? This is one of the hardest areas of a marriage to really cultivate, but you want to cultivate it <em>with<\/em> your spouse.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014especially [when] so many of us come in with wounds today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth: <\/strong>Yes, and I think that we should be providing resources so when our teens get to the point\u2014or young adults, where they\u2019re getting married\u2014we should be providing them resources that prepare them for that, not [just saying]: \u201cIt\u2019s going to be <em>great<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> There are lots of resources that are available. I think all of that is realistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have so many women coming to me now, who are married, who are saying, \u201cMy husband isn\u2019t interested in the physical intimacy, and I thought he would be. I feel like I\u2019m the one that\u2019s pursuing <em>him<\/em>. Is there something wrong with <em>me<\/em>? There\u2019s been porn involved in the past, and I think he\u2019s still struggling.\u201d Are you seeing that that is something that people are struggling with today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I would say huge numbers\u2014more than we\u2019ve ever seen\u2014men <em>and<\/em> women. We write in the book about how men tend to be more visual; women tend to read the sex stories and stuff or romance novels. I think that makes it so idealized that people aren\u2019t willing to commit in a relationship to really <em>develop<\/em> a healthy sexual relationship with a partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>If we\u2019re talking\u2014we\u2019re talking to positives today\u2014how are we talking to our kids: our sons <em>and<\/em> daughters\u2014about the effects of porn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I talk real openly. I\u2019ve had more boys than girls live in my home. I\u2019ll say to the boys: \u201cThat\u2019s not how it is. That builds up an ideal of something that it\u2019s really <em>not<\/em>. It\u2019s not about all that physical. It\u2019s really much more emotional and spiritual than we give it credit for, so that\u2019s not how it\u2019s going to be at all.\u201d I think we have to be that honest about it and talk about how that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> what it\u2019s like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about\u2014and I know we just have a few minutes left\u2014but what would you say to the <em>shame<\/em> that men and women carry, because they\u2019ve made mistakes in this area\u2014whether it be porn; or maybe something that has been done to them, abuse-wise, that they carry and feel like they can\u2019t get free of. There\u2019s sexual shame and guilt that\u2019s <em>heavy<\/em> that couples come up to us\u2014man, you can <em>feel<\/em> it\u2014they\u2019re <em>living in it<\/em>, even though it\u2019s maybe years or decades since they\u2019ve made these decisions or things happened to them; but they are still living it. Because it\u2019s so sacred and soulish in nature, it\u2019s something that\u2019s hard to shake, even if you understand the forgiveness of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I was just thinking about what Paul said\u2014and it\u2019s a hard teaching\u2014but he said that every sin that a man commits is a type of sin, but sexual sin is particularly destructive [1 Corinthians 6:18]. It is true that it\u2019s destructive. The people that feel that pain\u2014it\u2019s not imaginary; it\u2019s not they\u2019re cooking it up in their brains; they\u2019re not hyper guilty individuals\u2014but sexual sin has a way of damaging in ways that other sin doesn\u2019t, according to Paul, so we need to take him at his word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, we serve a God who is a God of second chances and resurrections. When He says He takes our sins and throws them into the depths of the ocean, that means there\u2019s no diver that can get out that. When He says He puts things out of His mind and He remembers them no more, that means that we can take His representation of our sins over our own, and in those darkest hours of our night, when we are counting up our own sins, we serve a God, who says, \u201cI don\u2019t even remember those,\u201d and that\u2019s a great comfort to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think there\u2019s something also very powerful about having a trustworthy partner that you can share openly that vulnerability\/that sense of shame, having them be able to look in your eyes\/hold your hands. Some of the things that you can\u2019t even say, they\u2019re there; and they\u2019re able to know, and love you, and see you as whole. I think there\u2019s a lot of healing to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I agree 1,000 percent. I\u2019ve always said, \u201cIf you really want to see God change your life,\u201d\u2014and I know I\u2019m being very simplistic here; there\u2019s <em>many<\/em> more things\u2014but I always say, \u201cYou need two things: the power of God\/the people of God.\u201d You\u2019ve got to have the power of God\u2014and we sort of think, \u201cThat\u2019s all I need\u201d; and in a sense, it is\u2014but He builds us in such a way we need other humans that we can trust\/that we can be safe with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven if you\u2019re listening now, and you\u2019ve got something in the dark you\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> said to a friend\/a trusted friend, this could be the day to take a step toward freedom. You\u2019ve already told God, I\u2019m guessing, and you\u2019ve asked for His forgiveness\u2014and He\u2019s given it, by the way\u2014but to tell a friend: maybe your spouse; or if you\u2019re a man, tell another buddy; or if you\u2019re a woman, tell a woman\u2014that is the beginning of healing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can remember sharing with our high schoolers about my sexual abuse\u2014they were old enough to handle it at that point\u2014just sharing with them, because I think they thought I was a little hyper-vigilant about abuse or any circumstances that they might\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014protecting them, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014be in that could cause them any kind of harm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember sharing with them, feeling that: \u201cJesus has set me free from that shame\u201d; but there is also something really powerful and intimate about: \u201cThis is why I\u2019m so vigilant of you guys knowing God\u2019s <em>beautiful<\/em> plan for sexuality, because He loves us so much; He <em>longs<\/em> for us to experience all the best that He has.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy sharing my story, I felt this freedom, like, \u201cI don\u2019t want there to be separation between us.\u201d I said it in appropriate ways. But I think there is something about freedom that comes from being able to tell another person: \u201cThis is what I\u2019ve been through,\u201d and then there\u2019s this incredible miraculous resurrection of: \u201cBut Jesus has set me free,\u201d\u2014and maybe He\u2019s not completely done with the healing\u2014but He <em>continues<\/em> to heal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> God\u2019s good gift of sexuality is something that can be a source of profound blessing in our lives when we use it according to God\u2019s design. It can also be a source of profound pain and scarring in our lives when we don\u2019t follow God\u2019s pattern. This is why this is such an important subject for us to be talking openly and honestly with our teenagers to help them avoid the pitfalls and avoid the scars; and at the same time, to help prepare them for the great blessing that sexuality can be in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLatayne Scott and Beth Robinson\u2019s book, <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>, is a guidebook. It\u2019s a roadmap for us, as parents, to know how to talk about things like gender identity, pornography, purity, dating, same-sex attraction, social media\/all of the subjects that are confronting our teens related to the issue of sexuality. This is a book we\u2019ve got available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book, <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Again, our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019re not familiar with the resource FamilyLife has developed as a getaway weekend for parents and teens to talk about these issues of gender and sexuality, check out <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. There\u2019s information about it on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. You may want to make plans now for you and your son or daughter to get away for a couple of days and have these important conversations. If that\u2019s the case, this resource would be a <em>great<\/em> tool to help you in that process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know a lot of us are looking at this new year with expectancy and with hope\u20142022\u2014we pray it\u2019s going to be a great year for you and your family. We\u2019re praying it will be a great year, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019re very encouraged as we head into this new year because, over the last couple of weeks, we\u2019ve heard from many of you who knew that we had a matching-gift offer that had been extended, and that motivated many of you to give sacrificially in December. We are grateful for that. We want to acknowledge that and say, \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe still don\u2019t have the final numbers tallied yet from yearend giving. In fact, we\u2019re still getting mail that was mailed to us in the last week of December; so we\u2019ve still got some work in front of us, and I can\u2019t report to you on the final results of the matching gift. But I can tell you just how grateful we are for your participation in that. So many of you reached out and said, \u201cThank you,\u201d and cheered us on for 2022. We are looking forward to a great year, and many of you are helping to make that happen. So thank you for your support at yearend, and thank you for your ongoing support throughout 2022. We are grateful for, not only our listeners, but especially for those of you who are partners with us, here in the ministry at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the challenges that can come with blending a family when you have older adult children. I mean, you would think, with adult kids, it\u2019s going to be okay; and you\u2019d be surprised. Well, you will be surprised as we hear from Terry and Carol Moss and their two adult children tomorrow. Ron Deal will be here with us, as well; I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307359"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307359"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307359"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307359"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}