{"id":307354,"date":"2022-01-03T08:02:09","date_gmt":"2022-01-03T13:02:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward\/"},"modified":"2022-01-03T08:02:09","modified_gmt":"2022-01-03T13:02:09","slug":"having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward\/","title":{"rendered":"Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Kids: When, Why, and How Not to Make it Awkward"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Need to have &#8220;the talk&#8221; with kids\u2014but clueless where to start? Drs. Beth Robinson &amp; Latayne Scott offer tips to vitally shape your kids\u2019 worldview\u2026without making everything weird.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:35","filesize":"25.25M","filesize_raw":"26476274","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2844,2815,2855],"tags":[2209,6881,2588],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9751,9752],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307354","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pornography","category-sexual-wholeness","category-teens","tag-parenting","tag-sexuality","tag-teens","cwp_profile-beth-robinson","cwp_profile-latayne-scott","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307354\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307354\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ZImKJJdUeG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward\/\">Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Kids: When, Why, and How Not to Make it Awkward<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-the-talk-with-kids-when-why-and-how-not-to-make-it-awkward\/embed\/#?secret=ZImKJJdUeG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Having &#8220;The Talk&#8221; With Kids: When, Why, and How Not to Make it Awkward&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ZImKJJdUeG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> We have G-rated the Bible. You know, we teach in our primary grades Genesis; but we take out <em>all<\/em> the sinful stuff. We really need to go back\u2014when our kids are 10,11,12, hitting middle school\u2014and we need to do: \u201cGenesis, the Rest of the Story\u201d; because how much sexuality is there in Genesis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> So much, but we just remove that from the stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So I don\u2019t even know if I know the answer to this question, and I should after \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t41 years of marriage, but when was\/do you remember the first time somebody taught you about sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think anyone did. Well, let me say: I think it\u2019s peers; I think it was pornography; I think I was exposed to a lot of different things, but I don\u2019t think there was a conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Marty Jordan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014one of my best friends. I mean, think about that\u2014I\u2019m probably 12\u201411\/12 years old\u2014I was over at his house. Mom <em>never<\/em> talked about it; Dad wasn\u2019t there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I always pretended I knew stuff; and I was like, \u201cI wonder what the answer is to that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember I was traumatized by what he told me; like, \u201cThat can\u2019t be true! That is the most ridiculous thing.\u201d So as I was walking out of his house, I literally looked at his mom and said, \u201cIs that true?!\u201d She just shook her head, [Laughter] because she heard the conversation. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about it now, as parents, and the world we live in: \u201cHow do our kids find out about this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, listeners, I\u2019m pretty passionate: \u201cWe have <em>got<\/em> to be intentional about this area; because if we are <em>not<\/em>, the culture is teaching our kids every single day. If we don\u2019t instruct our kids\u2014biblically, and truthfully, and honestly\u2014the culture will feed them <em>so many<\/em> lies and so much misinformation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got two doctors in the studio today, two women who really devoted [their] lives in many ways to helping, not just parents, but anyone talk to their teen about sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to the studio\u2014we\u2019ve got Dr. Latayne and Dr. Beth with us today\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne &amp; Beth:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve written a book called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Beth, you are a college professor; you\u2019re a clinical psychologist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I\u2019m actually a licensed professional counselor, but I am also a college professor at Lubbock Christian University.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so you deal with this all the time, because you\u2019ve got college kids sitting in your classroom every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you guys talk about this topic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Sure! I mean, I teach at my general psychology class; we actually have a course on it in our psychology program called Gender and Sexuality. But where else are the kids going to hear it from? I mean, the fallacy has been\u2014I listened to you guys talk about \u201cDid anybody talk to you about it?\u201d\u2014the truth is that, if we go poll a young generation of much younger parents, and say the same thing, their answer is still the same. I\u2019ve been working in this field for 30 years; and nobody, as far as parents are concerned, are teaching their children any differently than they were taught. We\u2019re abdicating our instruction to the internet; it\u2019s what\u2019s happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, kids are googling now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; they\u2019re googling and they\u2019re <em>not<\/em> getting a biblical perspective; and they also have decided that, as parents, we don\u2019t have any idea about it; period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And Latayne, let me add, too\u2014you\u2019re an author; you\u2019ve written <em>multiple<\/em> books and coauthored multiple books\u2014but how did this coalition come to be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> My children, who are now adults, both went to Lubbock Christian University; and they were students of Dr. Beth. They would talk about: \u201cDr. Beth this\u2026\u201d and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDr. Beth that,\u201d and \u201cHer classes were fun\u201d; and they learned so much. We had opportunity to meet, I think at some social function at Lubbock Christian; and we kind of hit it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut one time, she was talking about where she was going in her ministry; and I was talking about what I was doing in terms of where we hoped to end up. I said, \u201cBeth, the stories that you tell about working, especially with abused children\/working with children with sexual issues,\u201d\u2014I said\u2014\u201cthose things need to be preserved, because this wealth of information and insight\u201d\u2014because she has such great insights, I said\u2014\u201cneeds to be preserved.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cYou have stories to tell that people need to know.\u201d I just had read a book by Sam Chan, who is an author\u2014and it\u2019s about evangelism in the 21<sup>st<\/sup> century\u2014he says that people learn through stories, and that\u2019s the way they\u2019re learning today. I said, \u201cBeth, why don\u2019t we write a book about protecting children from sexual predators?\u2014because you know all the signs; you know all the ins and outs; you know how the criminal mind works.\u201d Because I don\u2019t know if you know this, but Dr. Beth is often an expert witness in court trials with children that have been abused. She knows, forensically, how to talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWe could tell these stories to engage the mind of parents, who are generations behind us, and let them see scenarios that they can identify with that their child is having this problem, or has been approached by someone, or something else.\u201d I said, \u201cI think that would be a very helpful book.\u201d So that\u2019s how we got started writing that first book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My response to that was: \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have time for this right now.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I said, \u201cYou be the brains; I\u2019ll be the brawn.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So here\u2019s the question we started with; so you say, early in the book, \u201cMost parents are one and done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If they have a conversation, it\u2019s one little conversation and <em>never<\/em> talked about again. So talk about that; because there\u2019s a lot of parents listening, and we\u2019re like, \u201cHow do I do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI had \u2018the talk,\u2019\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they\u2019ll say\u2014\u201cI had \u2018the talk,\u2019\u201d \u201cDid you have \u2018the talk\u2019?\u201d But you\u2019re saying it needs to be a lot more than <em>one<\/em> talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Oh, it needs to be much more than one talk; and it needs to be much more than one weekend. In fact, if you want to start talking to your kids about sexuality\u2014you know, you\u2019re starting the conversations from the time they\u2019re born; and you don\u2019t even realize it\u2014because when you teach them body parts, you\u2019re starting the conversation. When you won\u2019t identify private parts with language that they can use,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014with correct terminology even?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> \u2014even correct terminology\u2014I\u2019m not saying that correct terminology right now, because we don\u2019t know the age of our listeners. But when you can\u2019t even do that, and you turn red, you know your kids have already gotten a message about sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, every kid, by age five, needs to know what sexual safety is. Probably the first time I really recognized this need is I was called out to a congregation, where young couples had been involved in group get-togethers at night\/group meetings on Sunday nights, and they would bring their kids. They would let all their kids play together without adult supervision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, there was a child in that group, who was eight or nine at the time, who acted out sexually on the younger children\/children who were two or three years old in this congregation. I went out and worked with the leaders in that congregation. I worked with\u2014there were a dozen families\u2014met with each of the families, kind of met with the kids, worked through kind of what sorts of issues might exist or could exist; and helped the leadership figure out how to deal with the family, who had the child, who was offending against other children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat came out of that is\u2014I went back, six months later\u2014I said to the individuals that had had their children affected by this\/I said, \u201cWhat would you have liked to have seen that would have been helpful to you in the process?\u201d I was thinking about the process <em>after<\/em> the abuse occurred; and they said, \u201cWe wish there had been a book or something we could have used to have taught our children sexual safety.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went back to Lubbock, at the time, and created a coloring book called \u201cGod Made Me,\u201d which teaches sexual safety in a very non-threatening way that Christian parents can teach their children before age five. It talks about: \u201cGod made me,\u201d and how special we are; and He made the sun and the moon and the stars. It\u2019s very non-threatening; because by age five kids, need to know that. And see, if we\u2019ve had those conversations by age five, our conversations get more in depth as they get older.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So even in that coloring book, could you explain like: \u201cWhat was in the coloring book that would help parents and children to know what was safe?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> The main thing the coloring book did is it kind of made it safe to talk about private parts. All that we did in the coloring book was identify private parts as the parts of your body covered by a swimming suit; and then told kids that, if somebody touches them there, that they need to always tell their parents. If telling their parents doesn\u2019t make it stop, then you tell other trusted adults: a nurse, a school teacher, a police officer. And that it\u2019s always okay to say, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because most sexual abuse happens with people that our kids know; is that not true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Ninety percent of offenders are people that we have invited into our inner circles; they will be trusted friends and family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I mean, I have sexual abuse in my background; and that\u2019s exactly where it happened. It was all the parents were together; all the kids were playing; and things were happening, because parents never checked in. They just didn\u2019t think about it, but I think we really need to think about that as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And so part of me is thinking you\u2019re [Ann] like one of those little girls. You just said your mom and dad never talked to you about it, so who did you talk to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and that\u2019s pretty common?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Very common. I found, in my first couple of years of being a professor at Lubbock Christian University, that I had a lot of students\u2014we didn\u2019t have a counseling center back then\u2014but I had a lot of students, who would walk into my office because I was a Psychology professor, and would reveal abuse. And to be honest, they were revealing abuse that occurred in churches, primarily, where it was ministers and youth ministers. They got far enough away from home that they finally talked; although, there\u2019s a good percentage that <em>don\u2019t<\/em> ever talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What other kind of confusion is happening today in our culture that kids are facing that we, as parents, like: \u201cHow could you coach parents today as kids are dealing with sexual confusion?\u201d\u2014because there\u2019s a lot going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I think one big issue that I think parents confuse, and to be honest with you, this book was a learning adventure for me, as an author, learning from Dr. Beth that there\u2019s a difference between gender and sex. I think a lot of confusion that\u2019s going on with kids these days is they don\u2019t define those two things specifically as they should: \u201cWhen they start talking about being transgender, does that mean that you\u2019re homosexual?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s the difference between how you view yourself and how you act on your sexual impulses?\u201d\u2014those are two completely different things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s that look like? How do we have those discussions, as parents?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Those conversations come to us every day, if we\u2019re looking for them, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What does that mean? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Help us to look for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> That means your kids are having interactions with friends at school; they\u2019re seeing things on TV; getting information on their tablets\u2014all those things. Honestly, if a parent would take a notebook, and just jot down all the things that they see or hear from their children, or see in their environment that has sexual meaning to it or could explain relationships, that\u2019s where the education begins; and we\u2019re just not open to it. And so our kids believe it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re <em>scared<\/em>, and we don\u2019t know what to say. We don\u2019t even know some of the terminology today, because it\u2019s changing so much. So you\u2019re giving\u2014I feel like you\u2019re helping us\/you\u2019re coaching us, as parents\u2014giving us tools and language to know <em>how<\/em> we talk to our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, my question is: \u201cHow?\u201d Coach-up a parent even just to have a conversation about\u2014let\u2019s say they\u2019re not five years old; they\u2019re getting older\u2014and you want to talk more about the way sexuality works in a marriage and relationships, that kind of thing. Again, most parents are afraid to do it\u2014like you said, there\u2019s the \u201cone and done\u201d\u2014\u201cI had \u2018the talk.\u2019\u201d Who knows what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like at ten or eleven, they\u2019re saying they\u2019ve talked\/they\u2019ve had their one talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But your book\/you\u2019re saying there needs to be a conversation that is ongoing\u2014probably daily\u2014so what does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think the easiest way to access it for me is\u2014your kids, even if they\u2019re watching what you think is a G-rated Disney show in this day and time, there\u2019s issues there about gender and sexuality all the time\u2014and you just open it up. I mean, if you\u2019re there watching it, and you see something, the easiest thing to do is to say, \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think <em>that<\/em> means?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you both have done this; you\u2019re both moms. Beth, you\u2019re single; but you have fostered how many children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Fifteen; ten boys. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you\u2019ve done this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I did a terrible job of it. [Laughter] No, I\u2019m the first to confess. My children are in their 40s now. My husband took our son out to have \u201cthe talk\u201d; right? And they came back in like 15 minutes with McDonald\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I said, \u201cDid you have the talk?\u201d He said, \u201cWell, I had this book I was going to show Ryan; and he said, \u2018Oh yes, my buddy and I saw that book over at somebody else\u2019s house; and we went through it.\u2019\u201d Dan asked him, \u201cDo you have any questions?\u201d He said, \u201cNo.\u201d They said, \u201cLet\u2019s go get burgers.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s really difficult. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is pretty common.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> That was it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith my daughter, she was so traumatized by me mentioning menstruation that all she did was sit and look wide-eyed at me. I [said], \u201cKara, this is going to happen to your body. It\u2019s normal; it\u2019s going to be okay\u201d; you know and all of this. I got through, and she hasn\u2019t said a word. I said, \u201cDo you have any questions?\u201d She just shook her head and that was it; you know? I tried to open up conversations with her, but she was like deer in the headlights, like, \u201cDon\u2019t even mention that to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; oh, good; so Beth, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here to help all of us. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I\u2019m the wrong one. [Laughter] Okay; so putting kids on the spot, and asking them if they have questions, it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> going to work. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think we all just failed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> \u2014or deer in the headlights, either one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> But see, it\u2019s not nearly as confrontational to use information, like a television show\/a TikTok video. I mean, kids don\u2019t know how sexually suggestive a lot of the dancing is on TikTok. You can watch that, and say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m just kind of wondering what you think about when you see this? Because this is what I think other people think about\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Or cheer teams at the football games; you\u2019re right. You\u2019re thinking: Disney movies, things going on\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; and so I think the issue is we think we have to have a whole lot of knowledge. We don\u2019t; we have to know how to have a conversation with our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you\u2019re saying ask the question: \u201cWhat do you think of this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m going to say, in regards to sexuality, about five percent of it is us giving a response and ninety-five percent of it is asking questions. So if we think we have to <em>know<\/em> everything, and know how to lecture about it, and know how to talk about all the body parts, and STDs, and all that\u2014the kids get that in biology\u2014and they forget it; it doesn\u2019t apply. Because that\u2019s the other thing that happens a whole lot is we give kids clinical biology information. That doesn\u2019t mean a <em>thing<\/em> to them, when they\u2019re in a situation with a peer, and about to have sex; because that doesn\u2019t look like the biology book at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo there are lots of ways to have the conversation, but it begins with questions. Think about how this interview would go if you came in here and kind of gave me a little five-minute lecture and said, \u201cDo you have any questions now?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne: <\/strong>\u201cWell, Miss; I\u2019m <em>done<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth: <\/strong>Okay; that\u2019s kind of what we want to do about sex education. So to me, I\u2019m like, \u201cYou guys quit making this <em>so hard<\/em>. Just ask them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m thinking of, as a dad\u2014and I know a lot of our listeners are parents; they may be thinking the same way\u2014I\u2019ve always thought, and we wrote about it in our parenting book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>; it\u2019s like you need to be teaching spiritual truths, along the way\u2014Deuteronomy 6\u2014when you sit at the table, when you lie down; it\u2019s just every-day conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, often, we don\u2019t think about that sexuality with our kids; we\u2019re thinking: \u201cI\u2019m going to talk about God along the way. I want to use the Bible. I want to have moments during every day\u201d; and that\u2019s sort of the goal. We often keep the sexual conversation, like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s sort of off limits; I\u2019m not going to go there.\u201d You\u2019re saying, \u201cNo; that\u2019s a daily conversation too. Use what you\u2019re watching\/use what you\u2019re reading; don\u2019t run away from it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to a dad or a mom listening, right now: \u201cHave the courage to ask a simple question,\u201d\u2014like you just said Beth\u2014\u201cWhat do you think about that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I am going to go back to what you said about the Deuteronomy passage; okay? We have G-rated the Bible. I have often said\u2014and I hope somebody has done this or will take me up on this\u2014you know, we teach in our primary grades Genesis; but we take out <em>all<\/em> the sinful stuff; so all those people in Genesis, apparently, were <em>perfect<\/em>. We really need to go back\u2014when our kids are 10, 11, 12, hitting middle school\u2014and we need to do: \u201cGenesis, the Rest of the Story\u201d; because how much sexuality is there in Genesis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>So much<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> So much, but we just remove that from the stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember being in the car with our kids, and I was listening to the Bible on tape in the day. I came to Genesis, where it says the men went to Lot and said, \u201cBring the men out to us so that we can have sexual relations with them.\u201d Our kids are like five\/seven, and I turned it off real quick\u2014\u201cAhhh; ahhh,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but you\u2019re saying, \u201cThat\u2019s an opportunity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth<\/strong>: I\u2019m saying, \u201cThat\u2019s an opportunity.\u201d I mean, you want to pick it in an age-appropriate way; but it <em>is<\/em> an opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cDon\u2019t skip over them at the age-appropriate time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Part of me is thinking: \u201cA five-year-old; that would be probably the appropriate thing to turn it off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I agree; at five, I would have turned it off too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> You know, a lot of parents think that we do sex education when our kids are teenagers; I\u2019m going to tell you that we\u2019re way too late at 12 and 13; that\u2019s 9, 10, 11, 12 conversations now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and obviously, our ministry, FamilyLife, is all about helping families do this. We have a resource called <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014it\u2019s been around for <em>decades<\/em>\u2014that is a <em>tool<\/em> for parents to use, because we know this is not easy for us as parents. It\u2019s like: \u201cHere, we\u2019ll give you a tool.\u201d Often, when somebody hands me a tool, I\u2019m like, \u201cI can do that.\u201d So I tell our listeners: go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and get <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> and walk through; because basically, we walk you through a conversation that you have with your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But<\/em> what Beth and Latayne are saying: \u201c<em>Don\u2019t<\/em> let that be the end of the conversation.\u201d That\u2019s just one conversation of <em>thousands<\/em> probably. Honestly\u2014and I\u2019m not saying we did it even really well\u2014I remember my oldest son\u2014CJ\u2019s 35 [now]; he said \u201cDad you had this conversation with me when I was too young.\u201d I started with son number-one\u2014like I want to be ahead of the game, and so maybe now\/maybe I was too young\u2014I think he was two-and-a-half\u2014no; I\u2019m kidding\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I think he was eight or nine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He was eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But anyway, looking back, I do remember that one of our friends\u2014we had three sons; all married now with grandkids\u2014one of our friends of our sons said, one day in our kitchen, \u201cHey, I know the way to raise kids that will be virgins when they get married: talk about sex every day in the kitchen.\u201d We\u2019re like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d He goes, \u201cEvery time I was at your house, there was some conversation that was sort of natural in this home about sexuality,\u201d and \u201cYou have three sons that got married as virgins; at least, that\u2019s what they told us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying we did it right, but there were conversations that were just a normal part of life. Even though, for me, it was still like, \u201cI can preach about this; it\u2019s harder to talk about this in my kitchen\u201d; but it needed to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s because it affected me so much\u2014this sexual abuse really had a toll on me\u2014I realized, \u201cWe need to talk, biblically, how this is a <em>good<\/em> plan that God has and why He has put any restrictions on it is because of His love for us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you both even talk about, often, that we talk so much about what you <em>shouldn\u2019t<\/em> do; we don\u2019t talk about the <em>great<\/em> plan that God has for us. I think that\u2019s really an important part to cover as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have school-aged kids, they\u2019re hearing this constantly; so if you haven\u2019t talked about it before, maybe have a conversation: \u201cGuys, I know stuff is happening at school that you can be confused about\u2014you\u2019re hearing on TV; you\u2019re seeing it on social media of sexuality\u2014we haven\u2019t talked about it that much, but I want this to be a place where you can ask questions. Maybe we need to ask <em>you<\/em> questions, because there\u2019s a lot going on now that hasn\u2019t been going on in the past in terminology; maybe you can help us.\u201d Just open the door\/open the door for those discussions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think all of us, as parents, are understanding that we\u2019re going have to be more proactive and have more intentional conversations with our children about sexuality, probably at an age that feels premature for us; but the reality is our kids are hearing about this at school, on the playground, in social media, even in cartoons today. As parents, we have to have a strategy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today with Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott. They have written a book called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality: Critical Conversations about Social Media, Gender Identity, Same-Sex Attraction, Pornography, Purity, Dating, Etc.<\/em>\u2014all of it. The book is available for purchase; you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. The title of the book is <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Order online, or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd some of you are going to want to add to your New Year\u2019s resolution list a getaway with your preteen for a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend together, a couple of days, where you can getaway and utilize this FamilyLife resource designed to help you engage with your preteen around the themes we\u2019ve talked about today. There\u2019s information about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well, so check that out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute and say a quick word of \u201cThank you,\u201d to all of you who, over the last few weeks, have responded to our yearend matching-gift opportunity. We\u2019ve heard from <em>many<\/em> of you in the weeks leading up to Christmas and in the last week of the year\u2014many of you who really were voting for FamilyLife\u2014you were saying: \u201cThis ministry is a ministry that needs to continue,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a ministry that\u2019s helping our family,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a ministry that\u2019s making a difference in our lives. We want to see it, not only continue, but expand.\u201d We just want you to know how grateful we are for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\/your partnership with us, here in this ministry, and say, \u201cThanks, again, for rallying at yearend to support the ongoing work of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the revolution that\u2019s happening inside a teenager\u2019s body and brain at puberty, and how as parents, we need to be alert to that and be ready for it, know how to help them navigate that. Dave and Ann Wilson continue with Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott tomorrow. We hope you can be here for that as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:35"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.25M"],"filesize_raw":["26476274"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307354.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307354.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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to have \"the talk\" with kids\u2014but clueless where to start? Drs. Beth Robinson &amp; Latayne Scott offer tips to vitally shape your kids\u2019 worldview\u2026without making everything weird.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2022-01-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> We have G-rated the Bible. You know, we teach in our primary grades Genesis; but we take out <em>all<\/em> the sinful stuff. We really need to go back\u2014when our kids are 10,11,12, hitting middle school\u2014and we need to do: \u201cGenesis, the Rest of the Story\u201d; because how much sexuality is there in Genesis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> So much, but we just remove that from the stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So I don\u2019t even know if I know the answer to this question, and I should after \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t41 years of marriage, but when was\/do you remember the first time somebody taught you about sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think anyone did. Well, let me say: I think it\u2019s peers; I think it was pornography; I think I was exposed to a lot of different things, but I don\u2019t think there was a conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Marty Jordan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014one of my best friends. I mean, think about that\u2014I\u2019m probably 12\u201411\/12 years old\u2014I was over at his house. Mom <em>never<\/em> talked about it; Dad wasn\u2019t there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I always pretended I knew stuff; and I was like, \u201cI wonder what the answer is to that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember I was traumatized by what he told me; like, \u201cThat can\u2019t be true! That is the most ridiculous thing.\u201d So as I was walking out of his house, I literally looked at his mom and said, \u201cIs that true?!\u201d She just shook her head, [Laughter] because she heard the conversation. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about it now, as parents, and the world we live in: \u201cHow do our kids find out about this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay, listeners, I\u2019m pretty passionate: \u201cWe have <em>got<\/em> to be intentional about this area; because if we are <em>not<\/em>, the culture is teaching our kids every single day. If we don\u2019t instruct our kids\u2014biblically, and truthfully, and honestly\u2014the culture will feed them <em>so many<\/em> lies and so much misinformation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got two doctors in the studio today, two women who really devoted [their] lives in many ways to helping, not just parents, but anyone talk to their teen about sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to the studio\u2014we\u2019ve got Dr. Latayne and Dr. Beth with us today\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne &amp; Beth:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve written a book called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Beth, you are a college professor; you\u2019re a clinical psychologist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I\u2019m actually a licensed professional counselor, but I am also a college professor at Lubbock Christian University.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so you deal with this all the time, because you\u2019ve got college kids sitting in your classroom every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you guys talk about this topic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Sure! I mean, I teach at my general psychology class; we actually have a course on it in our psychology program called Gender and Sexuality. But where else are the kids going to hear it from? I mean, the fallacy has been\u2014I listened to you guys talk about \u201cDid anybody talk to you about it?\u201d\u2014the truth is that, if we go poll a young generation of much younger parents, and say the same thing, their answer is still the same. I\u2019ve been working in this field for 30 years; and nobody, as far as parents are concerned, are teaching their children any differently than they were taught. We\u2019re abdicating our instruction to the internet; it\u2019s what\u2019s happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, kids are googling now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; they\u2019re googling and they\u2019re <em>not<\/em> getting a biblical perspective; and they also have decided that, as parents, we don\u2019t have any idea about it; period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And Latayne, let me add, too\u2014you\u2019re an author; you\u2019ve written <em>multiple<\/em> books and coauthored multiple books\u2014but how did this coalition come to be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> My children, who are now adults, both went to Lubbock Christian University; and they were students of Dr. Beth. They would talk about: \u201cDr. Beth this\u2026\u201d and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDr. Beth that,\u201d and \u201cHer classes were fun\u201d; and they learned so much. We had opportunity to meet, I think at some social function at Lubbock Christian; and we kind of hit it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut one time, she was talking about where she was going in her ministry; and I was talking about what I was doing in terms of where we hoped to end up. I said, \u201cBeth, the stories that you tell about working, especially with abused children\/working with children with sexual issues,\u201d\u2014I said\u2014\u201cthose things need to be preserved, because this wealth of information and insight\u201d\u2014because she has such great insights, I said\u2014\u201cneeds to be preserved.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cYou have stories to tell that people need to know.\u201d I just had read a book by Sam Chan, who is an author\u2014and it\u2019s about evangelism in the 21<sup>st<\/sup> century\u2014he says that people learn through stories, and that\u2019s the way they\u2019re learning today. I said, \u201cBeth, why don\u2019t we write a book about protecting children from sexual predators?\u2014because you know all the signs; you know all the ins and outs; you know how the criminal mind works.\u201d Because I don\u2019t know if you know this, but Dr. Beth is often an expert witness in court trials with children that have been abused. She knows, forensically, how to talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWe could tell these stories to engage the mind of parents, who are generations behind us, and let them see scenarios that they can identify with that their child is having this problem, or has been approached by someone, or something else.\u201d I said, \u201cI think that would be a very helpful book.\u201d So that\u2019s how we got started writing that first book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> My response to that was: \u201cI <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have time for this right now.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I said, \u201cYou be the brains; I\u2019ll be the brawn.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So here\u2019s the question we started with; so you say, early in the book, \u201cMost parents are one and done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> If they have a conversation, it\u2019s one little conversation and <em>never<\/em> talked about again. So talk about that; because there\u2019s a lot of parents listening, and we\u2019re like, \u201cHow do I do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI had \u2018the talk,\u2019\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they\u2019ll say\u2014\u201cI had \u2018the talk,\u2019\u201d \u201cDid you have \u2018the talk\u2019?\u201d But you\u2019re saying it needs to be a lot more than <em>one<\/em> talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Oh, it needs to be much more than one talk; and it needs to be much more than one weekend. In fact, if you want to start talking to your kids about sexuality\u2014you know, you\u2019re starting the conversations from the time they\u2019re born; and you don\u2019t even realize it\u2014because when you teach them body parts, you\u2019re starting the conversation. When you won\u2019t identify private parts with language that they can use,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014with correct terminology even?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> \u2014even correct terminology\u2014I\u2019m not saying that correct terminology right now, because we don\u2019t know the age of our listeners. But when you can\u2019t even do that, and you turn red, you know your kids have already gotten a message about sexuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, every kid, by age five, needs to know what sexual safety is. Probably the first time I really recognized this need is I was called out to a congregation, where young couples had been involved in group get-togethers at night\/group meetings on Sunday nights, and they would bring their kids. They would let all their kids play together without adult supervision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, there was a child in that group, who was eight or nine at the time, who acted out sexually on the younger children\/children who were two or three years old in this congregation. I went out and worked with the leaders in that congregation. I worked with\u2014there were a dozen families\u2014met with each of the families, kind of met with the kids, worked through kind of what sorts of issues might exist or could exist; and helped the leadership figure out how to deal with the family, who had the child, who was offending against other children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat came out of that is\u2014I went back, six months later\u2014I said to the individuals that had had their children affected by this\/I said, \u201cWhat would you have liked to have seen that would have been helpful to you in the process?\u201d I was thinking about the process <em>after<\/em> the abuse occurred; and they said, \u201cWe wish there had been a book or something we could have used to have taught our children sexual safety.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went back to Lubbock, at the time, and created a coloring book called \u201cGod Made Me,\u201d which teaches sexual safety in a very non-threatening way that Christian parents can teach their children before age five. It talks about: \u201cGod made me,\u201d and how special we are; and He made the sun and the moon and the stars. It\u2019s very non-threatening; because by age five kids, need to know that. And see, if we\u2019ve had those conversations by age five, our conversations get more in depth as they get older.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So even in that coloring book, could you explain like: \u201cWhat was in the coloring book that would help parents and children to know what was safe?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> The main thing the coloring book did is it kind of made it safe to talk about private parts. All that we did in the coloring book was identify private parts as the parts of your body covered by a swimming suit; and then told kids that, if somebody touches them there, that they need to always tell their parents. If telling their parents doesn\u2019t make it stop, then you tell other trusted adults: a nurse, a school teacher, a police officer. And that it\u2019s always okay to say, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because most sexual abuse happens with people that our kids know; is that not true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Ninety percent of offenders are people that we have invited into our inner circles; they will be trusted friends and family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I mean, I have sexual abuse in my background; and that\u2019s exactly where it happened. It was all the parents were together; all the kids were playing; and things were happening, because parents never checked in. They just didn\u2019t think about it, but I think we really need to think about that as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And so part of me is thinking you\u2019re [Ann] like one of those little girls. You just said your mom and dad never talked to you about it, so who did you talk to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and that\u2019s pretty common?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Very common. I found, in my first couple of years of being a professor at Lubbock Christian University, that I had a lot of students\u2014we didn\u2019t have a counseling center back then\u2014but I had a lot of students, who would walk into my office because I was a Psychology professor, and would reveal abuse. And to be honest, they were revealing abuse that occurred in churches, primarily, where it was ministers and youth ministers. They got far enough away from home that they finally talked; although, there\u2019s a good percentage that <em>don\u2019t<\/em> ever talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What other kind of confusion is happening today in our culture that kids are facing that we, as parents, like: \u201cHow could you coach parents today as kids are dealing with sexual confusion?\u201d\u2014because there\u2019s a lot going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I think one big issue that I think parents confuse, and to be honest with you, this book was a learning adventure for me, as an author, learning from Dr. Beth that there\u2019s a difference between gender and sex. I think a lot of confusion that\u2019s going on with kids these days is they don\u2019t define those two things specifically as they should: \u201cWhen they start talking about being transgender, does that mean that you\u2019re homosexual?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s the difference between how you view yourself and how you act on your sexual impulses?\u201d\u2014those are two completely different things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s that look like? How do we have those discussions, as parents?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Those conversations come to us every day, if we\u2019re looking for them, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What does that mean? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Help us to look for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> That means your kids are having interactions with friends at school; they\u2019re seeing things on TV; getting information on their tablets\u2014all those things. Honestly, if a parent would take a notebook, and just jot down all the things that they see or hear from their children, or see in their environment that has sexual meaning to it or could explain relationships, that\u2019s where the education begins; and we\u2019re just not open to it. And so our kids believe it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re <em>scared<\/em>, and we don\u2019t know what to say. We don\u2019t even know some of the terminology today, because it\u2019s changing so much. So you\u2019re giving\u2014I feel like you\u2019re helping us\/you\u2019re coaching us, as parents\u2014giving us tools and language to know <em>how<\/em> we talk to our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, my question is: \u201cHow?\u201d Coach-up a parent even just to have a conversation about\u2014let\u2019s say they\u2019re not five years old; they\u2019re getting older\u2014and you want to talk more about the way sexuality works in a marriage and relationships, that kind of thing. Again, most parents are afraid to do it\u2014like you said, there\u2019s the \u201cone and done\u201d\u2014\u201cI had \u2018the talk.\u2019\u201d Who knows what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like at ten or eleven, they\u2019re saying they\u2019ve talked\/they\u2019ve had their one talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But your book\/you\u2019re saying there needs to be a conversation that is ongoing\u2014probably daily\u2014so what does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I think the easiest way to access it for me is\u2014your kids, even if they\u2019re watching what you think is a G-rated Disney show in this day and time, there\u2019s issues there about gender and sexuality all the time\u2014and you just open it up. I mean, if you\u2019re there watching it, and you see something, the easiest thing to do is to say, \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think <em>that<\/em> means?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you both have done this; you\u2019re both moms. Beth, you\u2019re single; but you have fostered how many children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Fifteen; ten boys. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you\u2019ve done this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I did a terrible job of it. [Laughter] No, I\u2019m the first to confess. My children are in their 40s now. My husband took our son out to have \u201cthe talk\u201d; right? And they came back in like 15 minutes with McDonald\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I said, \u201cDid you have the talk?\u201d He said, \u201cWell, I had this book I was going to show Ryan; and he said, \u2018Oh yes, my buddy and I saw that book over at somebody else\u2019s house; and we went through it.\u2019\u201d Dan asked him, \u201cDo you have any questions?\u201d He said, \u201cNo.\u201d They said, \u201cLet\u2019s go get burgers.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s really difficult. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is pretty common.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> That was it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith my daughter, she was so traumatized by me mentioning menstruation that all she did was sit and look wide-eyed at me. I [said], \u201cKara, this is going to happen to your body. It\u2019s normal; it\u2019s going to be okay\u201d; you know and all of this. I got through, and she hasn\u2019t said a word. I said, \u201cDo you have any questions?\u201d She just shook her head and that was it; you know? I tried to open up conversations with her, but she was like deer in the headlights, like, \u201cDon\u2019t even mention that to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; oh, good; so Beth, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here to help all of us. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I\u2019m the wrong one. [Laughter] Okay; so putting kids on the spot, and asking them if they have questions, it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> going to work. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think we all just failed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> \u2014or deer in the headlights, either one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> But see, it\u2019s not nearly as confrontational to use information, like a television show\/a TikTok video. I mean, kids don\u2019t know how sexually suggestive a lot of the dancing is on TikTok. You can watch that, and say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m just kind of wondering what you think about when you see this? Because this is what I think other people think about\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Or cheer teams at the football games; you\u2019re right. You\u2019re thinking: Disney movies, things going on\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; and so I think the issue is we think we have to have a whole lot of knowledge. We don\u2019t; we have to know how to have a conversation with our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you\u2019re saying ask the question: \u201cWhat do you think of this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m going to say, in regards to sexuality, about five percent of it is us giving a response and ninety-five percent of it is asking questions. So if we think we have to <em>know<\/em> everything, and know how to lecture about it, and know how to talk about all the body parts, and STDs, and all that\u2014the kids get that in biology\u2014and they forget it; it doesn\u2019t apply. Because that\u2019s the other thing that happens a whole lot is we give kids clinical biology information. That doesn\u2019t mean a <em>thing<\/em> to them, when they\u2019re in a situation with a peer, and about to have sex; because that doesn\u2019t look like the biology book at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo there are lots of ways to have the conversation, but it begins with questions. Think about how this interview would go if you came in here and kind of gave me a little five-minute lecture and said, \u201cDo you have any questions now?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne: <\/strong>\u201cWell, Miss; I\u2019m <em>done<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth: <\/strong>Okay; that\u2019s kind of what we want to do about sex education. So to me, I\u2019m like, \u201cYou guys quit making this <em>so hard<\/em>. Just ask them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m thinking of, as a dad\u2014and I know a lot of our listeners are parents; they may be thinking the same way\u2014I\u2019ve always thought, and we wrote about it in our parenting book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>; it\u2019s like you need to be teaching spiritual truths, along the way\u2014Deuteronomy 6\u2014when you sit at the table, when you lie down; it\u2019s just every-day conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, often, we don\u2019t think about that sexuality with our kids; we\u2019re thinking: \u201cI\u2019m going to talk about God along the way. I want to use the Bible. I want to have moments during every day\u201d; and that\u2019s sort of the goal. We often keep the sexual conversation, like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s sort of off limits; I\u2019m not going to go there.\u201d You\u2019re saying, \u201cNo; that\u2019s a daily conversation too. Use what you\u2019re watching\/use what you\u2019re reading; don\u2019t run away from it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to a dad or a mom listening, right now: \u201cHave the courage to ask a simple question,\u201d\u2014like you just said Beth\u2014\u201cWhat do you think about that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> I am going to go back to what you said about the Deuteronomy passage; okay? We have G-rated the Bible. I have often said\u2014and I hope somebody has done this or will take me up on this\u2014you know, we teach in our primary grades Genesis; but we take out <em>all<\/em> the sinful stuff; so all those people in Genesis, apparently, were <em>perfect<\/em>. We really need to go back\u2014when our kids are 10, 11, 12, hitting middle school\u2014and we need to do: \u201cGenesis, the Rest of the Story\u201d; because how much sexuality is there in Genesis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>So much<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> So much, but we just remove that from the stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember being in the car with our kids, and I was listening to the Bible on tape in the day. I came to Genesis, where it says the men went to Lot and said, \u201cBring the men out to us so that we can have sexual relations with them.\u201d Our kids are like five\/seven, and I turned it off real quick\u2014\u201cAhhh; ahhh,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but you\u2019re saying, \u201cThat\u2019s an opportunity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth<\/strong>: I\u2019m saying, \u201cThat\u2019s an opportunity.\u201d I mean, you want to pick it in an age-appropriate way; but it <em>is<\/em> an opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cDon\u2019t skip over them at the age-appropriate time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Part of me is thinking: \u201cA five-year-old; that would be probably the appropriate thing to turn it off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Latayne:<\/strong> I agree; at five, I would have turned it off too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Beth:<\/strong> You know, a lot of parents think that we do sex education when our kids are teenagers; I\u2019m going to tell you that we\u2019re way too late at 12 and 13; that\u2019s 9, 10, 11, 12 conversations now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and obviously, our ministry, FamilyLife, is all about helping families do this. We have a resource called <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014it\u2019s been around for <em>decades<\/em>\u2014that is a <em>tool<\/em> for parents to use, because we know this is not easy for us as parents. It\u2019s like: \u201cHere, we\u2019ll give you a tool.\u201d Often, when somebody hands me a tool, I\u2019m like, \u201cI can do that.\u201d So I tell our listeners: go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and get <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> and walk through; because basically, we walk you through a conversation that you have with your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But<\/em> what Beth and Latayne are saying: \u201c<em>Don\u2019t<\/em> let that be the end of the conversation.\u201d That\u2019s just one conversation of <em>thousands<\/em> probably. Honestly\u2014and I\u2019m not saying we did it even really well\u2014I remember my oldest son\u2014CJ\u2019s 35 [now]; he said \u201cDad you had this conversation with me when I was too young.\u201d I started with son number-one\u2014like I want to be ahead of the game, and so maybe now\/maybe I was too young\u2014I think he was two-and-a-half\u2014no; I\u2019m kidding\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I think he was eight or nine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He was eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But anyway, looking back, I do remember that one of our friends\u2014we had three sons; all married now with grandkids\u2014one of our friends of our sons said, one day in our kitchen, \u201cHey, I know the way to raise kids that will be virgins when they get married: talk about sex every day in the kitchen.\u201d We\u2019re like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d He goes, \u201cEvery time I was at your house, there was some conversation that was sort of natural in this home about sexuality,\u201d and \u201cYou have three sons that got married as virgins; at least, that\u2019s what they told us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying we did it right, but there were conversations that were just a normal part of life. Even though, for me, it was still like, \u201cI can preach about this; it\u2019s harder to talk about this in my kitchen\u201d; but it needed to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s because it affected me so much\u2014this sexual abuse really had a toll on me\u2014I realized, \u201cWe need to talk, biblically, how this is a <em>good<\/em> plan that God has and why He has put any restrictions on it is because of His love for us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you both even talk about, often, that we talk so much about what you <em>shouldn\u2019t<\/em> do; we don\u2019t talk about the <em>great<\/em> plan that God has for us. I think that\u2019s really an important part to cover as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have school-aged kids, they\u2019re hearing this constantly; so if you haven\u2019t talked about it before, maybe have a conversation: \u201cGuys, I know stuff is happening at school that you can be confused about\u2014you\u2019re hearing on TV; you\u2019re seeing it on social media of sexuality\u2014we haven\u2019t talked about it that much, but I want this to be a place where you can ask questions. Maybe we need to ask <em>you<\/em> questions, because there\u2019s a lot going on now that hasn\u2019t been going on in the past in terminology; maybe you can help us.\u201d Just open the door\/open the door for those discussions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think all of us, as parents, are understanding that we\u2019re going have to be more proactive and have more intentional conversations with our children about sexuality, probably at an age that feels premature for us; but the reality is our kids are hearing about this at school, on the playground, in social media, even in cartoons today. As parents, we have to have a strategy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today with Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott. They have written a book called <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality: Critical Conversations about Social Media, Gender Identity, Same-Sex Attraction, Pornography, Purity, Dating, Etc.<\/em>\u2014all of it. The book is available for purchase; you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. The title of the book is <em>Talking with Teens about Sexuality<\/em>. Order online, or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd some of you are going to want to add to your New Year\u2019s resolution list a getaway with your preteen for a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend together, a couple of days, where you can getaway and utilize this FamilyLife resource designed to help you engage with your preteen around the themes we\u2019ve talked about today. There\u2019s information about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well, so check that out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute and say a quick word of \u201cThank you,\u201d to all of you who, over the last few weeks, have responded to our yearend matching-gift opportunity. We\u2019ve heard from <em>many<\/em> of you in the weeks leading up to Christmas and in the last week of the year\u2014many of you who really were voting for FamilyLife\u2014you were saying: \u201cThis ministry is a ministry that needs to continue,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a ministry that\u2019s helping our family,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a ministry that\u2019s making a difference in our lives. We want to see it, not only continue, but expand.\u201d We just want you to know how grateful we are for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\/your partnership with us, here in this ministry, and say, \u201cThanks, again, for rallying at yearend to support the ongoing work of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the revolution that\u2019s happening inside a teenager\u2019s body and brain at puberty, and how as parents, we need to be alert to that and be ready for it, know how to help them navigate that. Dave and Ann Wilson continue with Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott tomorrow. We hope you can be here for that as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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