{"id":307343,"date":"2021-12-27T08:02:10","date_gmt":"2021-12-27T13:02:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/praying-men-who-struggle\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T12:52:54","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T17:52:54","slug":"praying-men-who-struggle","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle\/","title":{"rendered":"Praying: Men Who Struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Many men struggle with praying. John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many men struggle with praying.  John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:25","filesize":"26.02M","filesize_raw":"27281421","date_recorded":"2021-12-27 08:02:10","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2826,2866],"tags":[2916,2210],"podcast_series":[7349],"cwp_profile":[3280],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307343","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-men","category-spiritual-disciplines-essentials-faith","tag-men","tag-prayer","podcast_series-how-a-man-prays-for-his-family","cwp_profile-john-yates","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307343\/praying-men-who-struggle","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307343\/praying-men-who-struggle","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ElpLMGM1EA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle\/\">Praying: Men Who Struggle<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle\/embed\/#?secret=ElpLMGM1EA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Praying: Men Who Struggle&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ElpLMGM1EA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>David:<\/strong> This is David Robbins, president at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. As we plan and bring to you <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> every weekday, we love imagining who is listening\u2014whether that\u2019s someone, tired, driving home from work; someone at home, with a kid hanging onto their leg; whether that\u2019s someone, who\u2019s feeling really isolated and really needing hope\u2014we <em>love<\/em> bringing the timeless truths of God\u2019s Word to the practical every day needs you have in your home. Check out one listener who shared her story.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Listener:<\/strong> The power of a wife\u2019s affirmation is by far my favorite that Ann did and just how we, as wives, need to cheer on our husbands. As they\u2019re growing up, they hear: \u201cYay, you\u2019re doing great!\u201d \u201cYay, you\u2019re doing great!\u201d And as soon as you get married, you hear: \u201cBoo!\u201d or \u201cYou need to do better at this.\u201d So to encourage and to cheer on your husband has just really been huge for me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> I just <em>love<\/em> hearing the everyday life of her, holding a baby, as she shares with us. We <em>love<\/em> lifting people\u2019s eyes to Jesus and giving them the help and hope for the relationships that matter most in their lives.<\/p>\n<p>As we approach the end of the year, this is a critical time for us as we think about impacting <em>more<\/em> families in 2022. About a <em>third<\/em> of the resources that come in, when it comes to donations, come in this month. We have a very generous group of people, who got together and have made a $2 million matching-gift challenge so that, when you give a gift this yearend to FamilyLife, your gift is matched, dollar for dollar. I just want to invite you: \u201cWe need to meet this match so we can do the ministry that we are seeking and hoping to do to more homes in this coming year. I want to ask you to consider giving a gift <em>today<\/em> by going to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve shared here before, Dave, that you developed this great habit, years ago, that\u2019s still a part of your life. You take every single Friday, for the last 35 years, and you fast and pray for our family. Talk about that a little bit: like how did that become your passion?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I actually heard it on a radio broadcast when I was\/right before we were going to have our first son, CJ, who\u2019s 35. This man was talking about a day of fasting and praying for his family. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do that.\u201d I actually thought I\u2019d do it for a few years; and now, 35 years later, there hasn\u2019t been a week that\u2014I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever missed a week\u2014sometimes, it\u2019s not Friday. Usually it\u2019s Friday; but sometimes, maybe, a different day. It\u2019s just: \u201cDon\u2019t eat; and all day long, every time there\u2019s a hunger pang, I\u2019m praying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can remember, when they were little boys, praying for their wife, who [we] didn\u2019t know yet, and praying that she would be a woman of God and making decisions about her life. Anyway, all I know is that\u2014when I married all three sons, as their father, and as their pastor in our chapel\u2014looking at that bride on her wedding day, knowing that I\u2019ve been praying for her, was a <em>tender<\/em> moment, just like: \u201cLook at what God has done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So now, it\u2019s for our grandkids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I think, too, as people talk to us\u2014and they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s so cool what God has done,\u201d\u2014and we know that we\u2019ve made so many mistakes; we know that we have failed <em>miserably<\/em>, but we also know that there is power in prayer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s fun today, because we have a friend in the studio with us. John Yates, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re really glad that you are here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be with you, Dave and Ann. It\u2019s been too long; thanks for letting me be with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> It <em>has<\/em> been too long.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> John, you\u2019ve spent a large part of your life helping men, especially,\u2014and I know women as well\u2014but helping men embrace and understand this discipline of prayer; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know how many years ago you wrote a book called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. You probably know; how many years ago was it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It was a few years ago. [Laughter] But you know I, over the years, I wanted to be with men. I\u2019m a pastor\u2014I\u2019ve just retired; I\u2019ve been a pastor for 50 years\u2014but I wanted to be with men. It was great to be with the women and the children\u2014every Sunday, I\u2019d be preaching away\u2014and I\u2019d think, \u201cI have so much I\u2019d like to say if it was just men here, but I\u2019ve just got to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So finally, some men\u2014we were talking one day\u2014and they said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t some of us men just get together, and let\u2019s talk about life and faith.\u201d So that started something that went on for many years. One year, they said, \u201cTeach us about prayer.\u201d So for the whole year\u2014I just reviewed, thought, tried to think through why prayer was so important in my life\u2014and shared it with the men. That\u2019s how this book came into being\u2014that\u2019s the basis of it\u2014teaching those men that year.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> So of course, many people know this\u2014and some don\u2019t\u2014that you were the pastor of Falls Church Anglican in\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you <em>founded<\/em> this church.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You have a couple of grandkids; how many?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019ve got a bunch of grandkids. I married a wonderful woman 52 years ago\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014Susan Yates. I bet a lot of our listeners\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014Susan Yates. She\u2019s written a lot of books that a lot of women have read. We had five children; they got married. They turned out to be pretty fertile, because we\u2019ve got 21 grandchildren now. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about men and prayer. I mean, often, when you think about prayer, you think: \u201cWomen pray; men don\u2019t seem to pray\u201d; is that true?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Pretty much. I think, in a lot of cases, it just seems that women have a more highly-attuned spiritual nature than men; or men, somehow, turn it off when they\u2019re young.<\/p>\n<p>But over the years, I\u2019ve found many men <em>want<\/em> to grow close to God\/they want to know how to communicate with God, but they have a lot of mistaken ideas about what a prayer life is about. They don\u2019t realize that prayer is just keeping company with God; it\u2019s walking along with Him and turning to Him, throughout the day, and trying to listen to Him. It\u2019s learning how to have a relationship with Him that is normal, and natural, and <em>honest<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Many men think that\/well, they wonder: \u201cIs prayer real?\u201d \u201cHow do I know that God is listening to me?\u201d It\u2019s a little difficult, because prayer is not the most <em>objective<\/em> thing in the world. Prayer is pretty subjective, and you never really know exactly what\u2019s happening when you\u2019re praying. But you know, whether you\u2019re a man or a woman, if you can just get honest with God, and share with Him what\u2019s on your heart, and try to be <em>real<\/em> with Him, then He\u2019s real with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> John, there\u2019s such a <em>depth<\/em> to you; because it\u2019s apparent that you\u2019ve been spending time with God. So when we\u2019re with you\u2014and even for our listeners, I wish they could pull up; and that\u2019s what they\u2019re basically doing today\u2014is they\u2019re pulling up beside us, and we\u2019re going to review this book that you wrote, years ago, but now you\u2019re <em>passionate<\/em> about. Why now? Why has this reignited your heart?<\/p>\n<p>I was laughing about what you said about why you brought it back out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Oh, yes. [Laughter] I was telling Ann, before we started, that Susan came to me, not too long ago, and she said, \u201cYou need to do a re-edition of your book on prayer.\u201d I said, \u201cWhy? [Laughter] There\u2019s lots of good books out there on prayer.\u201d She said, \u201cBut yours is really good.\u201d I told Ann I pulled it off the shelf\u2014the old one\u2014and I read it, and thought, \u201cWell, it is pretty good. Maybe we should do this! [Laughter] It\u2019s better than I remembered!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But I\u2019m glad Susan and I have been able to just be friends to you all. You all, we have, in turn, always looked up to <em>you<\/em>. It\u2019s really helpful\u2014isn\u2019t it?\u2014if you have a couple of folks along the way, who are older\/who are a little bit further along in life. I think that\u2019s one reason why I have, for so long, wanted to pray\/wanted to be a man of prayer; because I had some models when I was younger.<\/p>\n<p>You know, Dave, I\u2019ve never known a man, who had a significant walk with God or was living a significant life of service to God, who wasn\u2019t a man of prayer. When I was a young man in my 20s, I met 3 or 4 men like this; and I thought \u201cI want to be like them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Tell us about them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> When we were young, married, lived in Pittsburgh\u2014and had one of these big old Pittsburgh houses\u2014right across the street from us was a couple, who they were in their 70s; and they had been missionaries in Africa for years. They had retired; they came out of retirement and came to Pittsburgh to be with a bunch of us. They started a new seminary for our little Anglican movement.<\/p>\n<p>As I would look out the window, early in the morning, across the way at Alf and Marjorie\u2019s house, there was a little room up in the top of the house that was Alf\u2019s study. Every morning, when I got up and went back to <em>my<\/em> little study on the back corner of our house, the light was always on in Alf\u2019s room. It might be dark outside, but the light was always on. I <em>knew<\/em> what he was doing; that old man was on his knees, praying. I knew that because I used to meet with him every Friday afternoon. We\u2019d have a cup of tea and cookies, sitting in the garden; and he told me stories about how God had answered prayers\u201440 years in Africa\u2014one story after another, after another, after another. I thought, \u201cI just want to be like you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, are you that man now? I mean, as you think about\u2014we respect you and Susan\u2014one of the things I respect, obviously, is you are finishing <em>well<\/em>. I mean, I\u2019ve seen so many of my colleagues\u2014and I know you have as well\u2014that started well, maybe even ran well in the middle, but not so well at the end. You\u2019re finishing\u2014you\u2019re not done\u2014but you\u2019re\/we\u2019re both sort of on the last quarter.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It was a sobering thought, a year or so ago, when I was thinking about my mentor Alf. I thought \u201cGee, now I\u2019m older than he was <em>then<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] That really shook me up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think anybody can guarantee that he\u2019s going to finish well. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> But you pray that you will; and you try to maintain relationships with friends, who will tell you if they think you\u2019re veering off.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things we did, as we were getting ready to retire, was we asked five or six other couples, who are all in their 60s\/70s, if they\u2019d like to begin meeting together: \u201cHow can we encourage each other to stay effective in our lives for God as long as we live?\u201d We call it the Oaks Group, because we want to be oaks of righteousness: you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like the trees.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Anyway, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m doing to tell you the truth; but I\u2019m very grateful for this time in life: when I am able to be with grandchildren more, able to be with our daughter churches more, able to be with family, and able to study, able to pray more.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think every woman, listening, is hoping and wishing that their husband will listen to this. Because I think, as women, we long for our husbands to be passionate about this area; but there\u2019s barriers. What do you feel like the barriers are for men?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I think men are\/they don\u2019t often feel equipped. When a man opens his mouth to pray aloud, he\u2019s stepping into a <em>vulnerable<\/em> place. He\u2019s afraid he\u2019s going to be judged or he\u2019s going to say something stupid. He doesn\u2019t mind talking about sports; [Laughter] but if he has to say something about God\u2014or to pray, God forbid\u2014that\u2019s a really risky thing. You know, the only people they hear pray are the pastors on Sunday, and the pastors pray these long great prayers that they\u2019ve written out in advance: \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think, mainly: they just don\u2019t feel capable; maybe they don\u2019t feel worthy; maybe they feel like, \u201cWho am I to try to lead my family in prayer?\u201d They don\u2019t quite realize how much the wife\u2014she doesn\u2019t care if he stumbles; she doesn\u2019t care if he doesn\u2019t really know what he\u2019s doing\u2014all she wants is to hear him say: \u201cYou know, honey, life\u2019s kind of challenging these days, and raising this family is not all that easy. I\u2019m realizing more and more that we need God\u2019s help. I don\u2019t know\u2014we haven\u2019t done this much\u2014but I\u2019m thinking maybe we should pray together, as a couple, sometimes. It couldn\u2019t hurt; could it? But I don\u2019t quite know how to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know a woman in the world, who would say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a bad idea.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have to tell you that, in our book, we talk about that too. In <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>, we talk about: \u201cThis could be one of the greatest gifts that you give your wife but [also] to your marriage and your family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I get this text from this friend; she said, \u201cMy husband said to me, \u2018Let\u2019s pray together.\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cWe got on our knees,\u201d and she said, \u201cI couldn\u2019t stop crying.\u201d She said, \u201cIt was just simple. We just\u2014it was a few sentences\u2014but it was the most intimate act that we could have had together of this praying together.\u201d She said, \u201cIt filled me up for a year.\u201d My husband was like, \u2018Why are you crying?\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cBecause this has meant so much to me. I feel so connected and bonded to you and to God with us doing that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But I think you\u2019re right; Dave, have you felt that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was just going to ask\u2014you\u2019re the only woman in the room\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cWhat is it a wife feels? Why is it so intimate to a woman?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think going <em>together<\/em> before the Father\u2014I think, spiritually, we can feel alone or isolated from one another\u2014and when we join our hearts, spiritually together, it\u2019s a mysterious thing that we\u2019re doing and a vulnerability that connects our souls together. I mean, like physical intimacy connects our bodies together; but spiritual intimacy, through prayer, connects our soul. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful <em>but<\/em> vulnerable things. As a woman, it makes me feel like I\u2019m not in it alone; like you\u2019re my partner. We\u2019re battling <em>together<\/em> for our children, for our family, for the world, for the church.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It\u2019s a unifier; isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! That\u2019s what it is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Every time\/every time you and Dave pray together\u2014every time\u2014it\u2019s like it adds another little layer of bonding between the two of you. This probably was your experience, too\u2014somebody told us, before we were married\u2014\u201cYou should pray together every night with each other.\u201d On our honeymoon, before we went to bed for the first time, we got down on our knees and prayed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> We did too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> And Susan said the next day\/she said \u201cYou know, I really liked that. I think we should do that every night.\u201d Boy, you talk about something [Laughter] that <em>forces<\/em> you to stay together. If you promise God you\u2019re going to pray together with your wife every night before you go to bed\u2014there\u2019s some nights when that\u2019s the <em>last thing<\/em> in the world you want to do\/\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t it <em>hard<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014the last thing you feel like doing\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014but it requires that you come back together, and you understand each other as best you can, and you reaffirm your love for one another and your love for God.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019ve been many nights when we\u2014you know you talk, and you still don\u2019t have things really worked out\/you\u2019re still upset with each other\u2014but if you can then just say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re still upset, but we need to go to sleep; so let\u2019s pray.\u201d \u201cYou know, Lord, You know what\u2019s going on here. You know what a mess we are. You know that we need Your help. We\u2019re sorry, Lord. We ask Your help, and guide us through this time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, if we could see the spiritual dimension, I imagine the enemy Satan is <em>trembling<\/em> when we\u2019re praying together; because there\u2019s so much <em>power<\/em> in that. I think it\u2019s easy to just stay divided in the midst of our conflict and not come together; I feel like the enemy could think, \u201cI\u2019m <em>winning<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s something powerful, but I want to get back to some of those barriers.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had this thought\u2014Ann and I\u2019ve talked about this\u2014as a man, and I\u2019m sure women have this same thought\u2014there\u2019s times when I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, does prayer really do anything? Because here I am, talking to God, and there\u2019s a billion people talking to God right now.\u201d You go into the intellectual thing, like, \u201cHow does this work? Can He really be intimately involved in my life, here, in Orlando?\u201d So that\u2019s the kind of thing you go through. Talk about that; I know men struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> No kidding; exactly. I don\u2019t know if women struggle with it or not, but I know we do; I have. I\u2019ll tell you what I do when I start doubting like that and questioning: I just always think back to Jesus Christ and what I know to be true about Him. In the New Testament, we have what was written by the apostles; and they\u2019re telling us what they believed to be true about Christ. They were with him; they had no reason to lie, and we know that what we have today is what they wrote.<\/p>\n<p>I remember one, that He prayed almost incessantly; and secondly, He taught the men and women around him to pray. He talked about this over and over again; He said, \u201cMen ought always to be praying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think about that; and then I think back, over the years, to when I\u2019ve seen prayers answered. You know, if you just pray general \u201cLord bless the world,\u201d kind of prayers, you\u2019re not going to really see God answer prayers; but if you learn to pray specifically, God may not always say, \u201cYes\u201d; but many times, He does. I think back to those times\u2014the unexpected or unusual ways in which we have seen God work in answer to prayer\u2014you know, because you\u2019ve read the book, that I\u2019ve often written down specific things that I\u2019ve prayed for.<\/p>\n<p>As you were talking about your son\u2019s wedding, thinking abut how God had answered prayers for your children\u2014when I pull out one of these old prayer notebooks, and I begin to look at\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, John\u2019s pulling out his notebook; it has pictures in it. Are these prayer requests and prayers to God?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> This is a little prayer notebook that I kept like in the mid-\u201880s, I think. It\u2019s full of photos, and it\u2019s full of things I\u2019ve prayed. I was looking at it a little earlier, at some of the things that I was praying for my children, back when they were in elementary school or high school. When you realize how faithful God has been, over the years, then it encourages you to keep believing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> But Dave, I don\u2019t know if that little element of doubt ever goes away. There was a pastor in England, who lived in the 1700s, named William Grimshaw. He was an <em>amazing<\/em> man, close friend of John Wesley, George Whitfield. He had wonderful impact up in the Yorkshire Hills. He said, every once in a while, Mr. Doubt would walk into the room. He would have to rebuke Mr. Doubt and run him out of the room or else he couldn\u2019t pray. And it still happens, I think.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I love hearing John Yates\u2019 candor\/his transparency; and yet, his heart to want to be a man who prays effectively for his marriage and for his family. I think it\u2019s easy for us to push prayer aside and to be busy with other things. When we do, we neglect what\u2019s often the most important thing we could be doing as we go before the throne of grace and ask the God of the universe to bless us, to bless our family, to care for specific needs. God has given us this gracious invitation to come before Him; and it\u2019s something we need to do regularly. As men\/as leaders of our household, this is a part of our assignment.<\/p>\n<p>And the good news is John <em>helps<\/em> us with this. He coaches, us as someone who has made this a practice and a discipline in his own life; he\u2019s written a book called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. It\u2019s a book we have available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can request your copy when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number.<\/p>\n<p>Again, John Yates\u2019 book is called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. This is a <em>great<\/em> book, by the way, for guys to go through with other guys in a small group setting. This book will really help you with that. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, here in the last week of 2021, I know many of us are thinking this is one of those years that: \u201cI\u2019m ready to move on from\u201d; right?\u2014hoping for a new year to be a brighter new year\/a fresh new year for us, personally, and for us as a culture. Here, at FamilyLife, we are hoping this last week of the year is marked by generosity. We\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to be as generous as you can possibly be so that, by the end of this week, we can take full advantage of a $2.3 million matching gift that has been made available to us. Whatever amount you give is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to that total of $2.3 million.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve received gifts, all month, toward that matching-gift fund. We\u2019ve made progress toward that goal; we still have a way to go. This week is going to be critical; so that\u2019s why we\u2019re asking you, today, to go online or to call and make as generous a donation as you can possibly make. Help us move forward into 2022, ready to tackle the challenges that are in front of us as a ministry.<\/p>\n<p>And when you donate, we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dane Ortlund\u2019s devotional from the book of Psalms. It\u2019s called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, and it\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a yearend donation. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Please pray for us that listeners will be generous, here in the last week of the year; and that we\u2019re able to take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And I hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when Dave and Ann Wilson will continue the conversation with John Yates about men praying for their family. They\u2019ll talk about why prayer is so vital\u2014so important for us, as men\u2014why God has given us this assignment. I hope you can tune in for that tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n"],"duration":["00:28:25"],"show_notes":["<p><strong>Show Notes and Resources<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.02M"],"filesize_raw":["27281421"],"_edit_lock":["1736445182:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2021-12-27 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776384200;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Many men struggle with praying. John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p><strong>Show Notes and Resources<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>David:<\/strong> This is David Robbins, president at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. As we plan and bring to you <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> every weekday, we love imagining who is listening\u2014whether that\u2019s someone, tired, driving home from work; someone at home, with a kid hanging onto their leg; whether that\u2019s someone, who\u2019s feeling really isolated and really needing hope\u2014we <em>love<\/em> bringing the timeless truths of God\u2019s Word to the practical every day needs you have in your home. Check out one listener who shared her story.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Listener:<\/strong> The power of a wife\u2019s affirmation is by far my favorite that Ann did and just how we, as wives, need to cheer on our husbands. As they\u2019re growing up, they hear: \u201cYay, you\u2019re doing great!\u201d \u201cYay, you\u2019re doing great!\u201d And as soon as you get married, you hear: \u201cBoo!\u201d or \u201cYou need to do better at this.\u201d So to encourage and to cheer on your husband has just really been huge for me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> I just <em>love<\/em> hearing the everyday life of her, holding a baby, as she shares with us. We <em>love<\/em> lifting people\u2019s eyes to Jesus and giving them the help and hope for the relationships that matter most in their lives.<\/p>\n<p>As we approach the end of the year, this is a critical time for us as we think about impacting <em>more<\/em> families in 2022. About a <em>third<\/em> of the resources that come in, when it comes to donations, come in this month. We have a very generous group of people, who got together and have made a $2 million matching-gift challenge so that, when you give a gift this yearend to FamilyLife, your gift is matched, dollar for dollar. I just want to invite you: \u201cWe need to meet this match so we can do the ministry that we are seeking and hoping to do to more homes in this coming year. I want to ask you to consider giving a gift <em>today<\/em> by going to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve shared here before, Dave, that you developed this great habit, years ago, that\u2019s still a part of your life. You take every single Friday, for the last 35 years, and you fast and pray for our family. Talk about that a little bit: like how did that become your passion?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I actually heard it on a radio broadcast when I was\/right before we were going to have our first son, CJ, who\u2019s 35. This man was talking about a day of fasting and praying for his family. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do that.\u201d I actually thought I\u2019d do it for a few years; and now, 35 years later, there hasn\u2019t been a week that\u2014I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever missed a week\u2014sometimes, it\u2019s not Friday. Usually it\u2019s Friday; but sometimes, maybe, a different day. It\u2019s just: \u201cDon\u2019t eat; and all day long, every time there\u2019s a hunger pang, I\u2019m praying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can remember, when they were little boys, praying for their wife, who [we] didn\u2019t know yet, and praying that she would be a woman of God and making decisions about her life. Anyway, all I know is that\u2014when I married all three sons, as their father, and as their pastor in our chapel\u2014looking at that bride on her wedding day, knowing that I\u2019ve been praying for her, was a <em>tender<\/em> moment, just like: \u201cLook at what God has done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So now, it\u2019s for our grandkids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I think, too, as people talk to us\u2014and they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s so cool what God has done,\u201d\u2014and we know that we\u2019ve made so many mistakes; we know that we have failed <em>miserably<\/em>, but we also know that there is power in prayer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s fun today, because we have a friend in the studio with us. John Yates, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re really glad that you are here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be with you, Dave and Ann. It\u2019s been too long; thanks for letting me be with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> It <em>has<\/em> been too long.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> John, you\u2019ve spent a large part of your life helping men, especially,\u2014and I know women as well\u2014but helping men embrace and understand this discipline of prayer; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know how many years ago you wrote a book called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. You probably know; how many years ago was it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It was a few years ago. [Laughter] But you know I, over the years, I wanted to be with men. I\u2019m a pastor\u2014I\u2019ve just retired; I\u2019ve been a pastor for 50 years\u2014but I wanted to be with men. It was great to be with the women and the children\u2014every Sunday, I\u2019d be preaching away\u2014and I\u2019d think, \u201cI have so much I\u2019d like to say if it was just men here, but I\u2019ve just got to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So finally, some men\u2014we were talking one day\u2014and they said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t some of us men just get together, and let\u2019s talk about life and faith.\u201d So that started something that went on for many years. One year, they said, \u201cTeach us about prayer.\u201d So for the whole year\u2014I just reviewed, thought, tried to think through why prayer was so important in my life\u2014and shared it with the men. That\u2019s how this book came into being\u2014that\u2019s the basis of it\u2014teaching those men that year.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> So of course, many people know this\u2014and some don\u2019t\u2014that you were the pastor of Falls Church Anglican in\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you <em>founded<\/em> this church.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You have a couple of grandkids; how many?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019ve got a bunch of grandkids. I married a wonderful woman 52 years ago\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014Susan Yates. I bet a lot of our listeners\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014Susan Yates. She\u2019s written a lot of books that a lot of women have read. We had five children; they got married. They turned out to be pretty fertile, because we\u2019ve got 21 grandchildren now. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about men and prayer. I mean, often, when you think about prayer, you think: \u201cWomen pray; men don\u2019t seem to pray\u201d; is that true?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Pretty much. I think, in a lot of cases, it just seems that women have a more highly-attuned spiritual nature than men; or men, somehow, turn it off when they\u2019re young.<\/p>\n<p>But over the years, I\u2019ve found many men <em>want<\/em> to grow close to God\/they want to know how to communicate with God, but they have a lot of mistaken ideas about what a prayer life is about. They don\u2019t realize that prayer is just keeping company with God; it\u2019s walking along with Him and turning to Him, throughout the day, and trying to listen to Him. It\u2019s learning how to have a relationship with Him that is normal, and natural, and <em>honest<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Many men think that\/well, they wonder: \u201cIs prayer real?\u201d \u201cHow do I know that God is listening to me?\u201d It\u2019s a little difficult, because prayer is not the most <em>objective<\/em> thing in the world. Prayer is pretty subjective, and you never really know exactly what\u2019s happening when you\u2019re praying. But you know, whether you\u2019re a man or a woman, if you can just get honest with God, and share with Him what\u2019s on your heart, and try to be <em>real<\/em> with Him, then He\u2019s real with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> John, there\u2019s such a <em>depth<\/em> to you; because it\u2019s apparent that you\u2019ve been spending time with God. So when we\u2019re with you\u2014and even for our listeners, I wish they could pull up; and that\u2019s what they\u2019re basically doing today\u2014is they\u2019re pulling up beside us, and we\u2019re going to review this book that you wrote, years ago, but now you\u2019re <em>passionate<\/em> about. Why now? Why has this reignited your heart?<\/p>\n<p>I was laughing about what you said about why you brought it back out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Oh, yes. [Laughter] I was telling Ann, before we started, that Susan came to me, not too long ago, and she said, \u201cYou need to do a re-edition of your book on prayer.\u201d I said, \u201cWhy? [Laughter] There\u2019s lots of good books out there on prayer.\u201d She said, \u201cBut yours is really good.\u201d I told Ann I pulled it off the shelf\u2014the old one\u2014and I read it, and thought, \u201cWell, it is pretty good. Maybe we should do this! [Laughter] It\u2019s better than I remembered!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But I\u2019m glad Susan and I have been able to just be friends to you all. You all, we have, in turn, always looked up to <em>you<\/em>. It\u2019s really helpful\u2014isn\u2019t it?\u2014if you have a couple of folks along the way, who are older\/who are a little bit further along in life. I think that\u2019s one reason why I have, for so long, wanted to pray\/wanted to be a man of prayer; because I had some models when I was younger.<\/p>\n<p>You know, Dave, I\u2019ve never known a man, who had a significant walk with God or was living a significant life of service to God, who wasn\u2019t a man of prayer. When I was a young man in my 20s, I met 3 or 4 men like this; and I thought \u201cI want to be like them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Tell us about them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> When we were young, married, lived in Pittsburgh\u2014and had one of these big old Pittsburgh houses\u2014right across the street from us was a couple, who they were in their 70s; and they had been missionaries in Africa for years. They had retired; they came out of retirement and came to Pittsburgh to be with a bunch of us. They started a new seminary for our little Anglican movement.<\/p>\n<p>As I would look out the window, early in the morning, across the way at Alf and Marjorie\u2019s house, there was a little room up in the top of the house that was Alf\u2019s study. Every morning, when I got up and went back to <em>my<\/em> little study on the back corner of our house, the light was always on in Alf\u2019s room. It might be dark outside, but the light was always on. I <em>knew<\/em> what he was doing; that old man was on his knees, praying. I knew that because I used to meet with him every Friday afternoon. We\u2019d have a cup of tea and cookies, sitting in the garden; and he told me stories about how God had answered prayers\u201440 years in Africa\u2014one story after another, after another, after another. I thought, \u201cI just want to be like you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, are you that man now? I mean, as you think about\u2014we respect you and Susan\u2014one of the things I respect, obviously, is you are finishing <em>well<\/em>. I mean, I\u2019ve seen so many of my colleagues\u2014and I know you have as well\u2014that started well, maybe even ran well in the middle, but not so well at the end. You\u2019re finishing\u2014you\u2019re not done\u2014but you\u2019re\/we\u2019re both sort of on the last quarter.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It was a sobering thought, a year or so ago, when I was thinking about my mentor Alf. I thought \u201cGee, now I\u2019m older than he was <em>then<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] That really shook me up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think anybody can guarantee that he\u2019s going to finish well. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> But you pray that you will; and you try to maintain relationships with friends, who will tell you if they think you\u2019re veering off.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things we did, as we were getting ready to retire, was we asked five or six other couples, who are all in their 60s\/70s, if they\u2019d like to begin meeting together: \u201cHow can we encourage each other to stay effective in our lives for God as long as we live?\u201d We call it the Oaks Group, because we want to be oaks of righteousness: you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like the trees.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Anyway, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m doing to tell you the truth; but I\u2019m very grateful for this time in life: when I am able to be with grandchildren more, able to be with our daughter churches more, able to be with family, and able to study, able to pray more.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think every woman, listening, is hoping and wishing that their husband will listen to this. Because I think, as women, we long for our husbands to be passionate about this area; but there\u2019s barriers. What do you feel like the barriers are for men?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I think men are\/they don\u2019t often feel equipped. When a man opens his mouth to pray aloud, he\u2019s stepping into a <em>vulnerable<\/em> place. He\u2019s afraid he\u2019s going to be judged or he\u2019s going to say something stupid. He doesn\u2019t mind talking about sports; [Laughter] but if he has to say something about God\u2014or to pray, God forbid\u2014that\u2019s a really risky thing. You know, the only people they hear pray are the pastors on Sunday, and the pastors pray these long great prayers that they\u2019ve written out in advance: \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think, mainly: they just don\u2019t feel capable; maybe they don\u2019t feel worthy; maybe they feel like, \u201cWho am I to try to lead my family in prayer?\u201d They don\u2019t quite realize how much the wife\u2014she doesn\u2019t care if he stumbles; she doesn\u2019t care if he doesn\u2019t really know what he\u2019s doing\u2014all she wants is to hear him say: \u201cYou know, honey, life\u2019s kind of challenging these days, and raising this family is not all that easy. I\u2019m realizing more and more that we need God\u2019s help. I don\u2019t know\u2014we haven\u2019t done this much\u2014but I\u2019m thinking maybe we should pray together, as a couple, sometimes. It couldn\u2019t hurt; could it? But I don\u2019t quite know how to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know a woman in the world, who would say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a bad idea.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have to tell you that, in our book, we talk about that too. In <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>, we talk about: \u201cThis could be one of the greatest gifts that you give your wife but [also] to your marriage and your family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I get this text from this friend; she said, \u201cMy husband said to me, \u2018Let\u2019s pray together.\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cWe got on our knees,\u201d and she said, \u201cI couldn\u2019t stop crying.\u201d She said, \u201cIt was just simple. We just\u2014it was a few sentences\u2014but it was the most intimate act that we could have had together of this praying together.\u201d She said, \u201cIt filled me up for a year.\u201d My husband was like, \u2018Why are you crying?\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cBecause this has meant so much to me. I feel so connected and bonded to you and to God with us doing that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But I think you\u2019re right; Dave, have you felt that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was just going to ask\u2014you\u2019re the only woman in the room\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cWhat is it a wife feels? Why is it so intimate to a woman?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think going <em>together<\/em> before the Father\u2014I think, spiritually, we can feel alone or isolated from one another\u2014and when we join our hearts, spiritually together, it\u2019s a mysterious thing that we\u2019re doing and a vulnerability that connects our souls together. I mean, like physical intimacy connects our bodies together; but spiritual intimacy, through prayer, connects our soul. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful <em>but<\/em> vulnerable things. As a woman, it makes me feel like I\u2019m not in it alone; like you\u2019re my partner. We\u2019re battling <em>together<\/em> for our children, for our family, for the world, for the church.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It\u2019s a unifier; isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! That\u2019s what it is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Every time\/every time you and Dave pray together\u2014every time\u2014it\u2019s like it adds another little layer of bonding between the two of you. This probably was your experience, too\u2014somebody told us, before we were married\u2014\u201cYou should pray together every night with each other.\u201d On our honeymoon, before we went to bed for the first time, we got down on our knees and prayed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> We did too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> And Susan said the next day\/she said \u201cYou know, I really liked that. I think we should do that every night.\u201d Boy, you talk about something [Laughter] that <em>forces<\/em> you to stay together. If you promise God you\u2019re going to pray together with your wife every night before you go to bed\u2014there\u2019s some nights when that\u2019s the <em>last thing<\/em> in the world you want to do\/\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t it <em>hard<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> \u2014the last thing you feel like doing\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014but it requires that you come back together, and you understand each other as best you can, and you reaffirm your love for one another and your love for God.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019ve been many nights when we\u2014you know you talk, and you still don\u2019t have things really worked out\/you\u2019re still upset with each other\u2014but if you can then just say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re still upset, but we need to go to sleep; so let\u2019s pray.\u201d \u201cYou know, Lord, You know what\u2019s going on here. You know what a mess we are. You know that we need Your help. We\u2019re sorry, Lord. We ask Your help, and guide us through this time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, if we could see the spiritual dimension, I imagine the enemy Satan is <em>trembling<\/em> when we\u2019re praying together; because there\u2019s so much <em>power<\/em> in that. I think it\u2019s easy to just stay divided in the midst of our conflict and not come together; I feel like the enemy could think, \u201cI\u2019m <em>winning<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s something powerful, but I want to get back to some of those barriers.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had this thought\u2014Ann and I\u2019ve talked about this\u2014as a man, and I\u2019m sure women have this same thought\u2014there\u2019s times when I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, does prayer really do anything? Because here I am, talking to God, and there\u2019s a billion people talking to God right now.\u201d You go into the intellectual thing, like, \u201cHow does this work? Can He really be intimately involved in my life, here, in Orlando?\u201d So that\u2019s the kind of thing you go through. Talk about that; I know men struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> No kidding; exactly. I don\u2019t know if women struggle with it or not, but I know we do; I have. I\u2019ll tell you what I do when I start doubting like that and questioning: I just always think back to Jesus Christ and what I know to be true about Him. In the New Testament, we have what was written by the apostles; and they\u2019re telling us what they believed to be true about Christ. They were with him; they had no reason to lie, and we know that what we have today is what they wrote.<\/p>\n<p>I remember one, that He prayed almost incessantly; and secondly, He taught the men and women around him to pray. He talked about this over and over again; He said, \u201cMen ought always to be praying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think about that; and then I think back, over the years, to when I\u2019ve seen prayers answered. You know, if you just pray general \u201cLord bless the world,\u201d kind of prayers, you\u2019re not going to really see God answer prayers; but if you learn to pray specifically, God may not always say, \u201cYes\u201d; but many times, He does. I think back to those times\u2014the unexpected or unusual ways in which we have seen God work in answer to prayer\u2014you know, because you\u2019ve read the book, that I\u2019ve often written down specific things that I\u2019ve prayed for.<\/p>\n<p>As you were talking about your son\u2019s wedding, thinking abut how God had answered prayers for your children\u2014when I pull out one of these old prayer notebooks, and I begin to look at\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, John\u2019s pulling out his notebook; it has pictures in it. Are these prayer requests and prayers to God?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> This is a little prayer notebook that I kept like in the mid-\u201880s, I think. It\u2019s full of photos, and it\u2019s full of things I\u2019ve prayed. I was looking at it a little earlier, at some of the things that I was praying for my children, back when they were in elementary school or high school. When you realize how faithful God has been, over the years, then it encourages you to keep believing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> But Dave, I don\u2019t know if that little element of doubt ever goes away. There was a pastor in England, who lived in the 1700s, named William Grimshaw. He was an <em>amazing<\/em> man, close friend of John Wesley, George Whitfield. He had wonderful impact up in the Yorkshire Hills. He said, every once in a while, Mr. Doubt would walk into the room. He would have to rebuke Mr. Doubt and run him out of the room or else he couldn\u2019t pray. And it still happens, I think.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I love hearing John Yates\u2019 candor\/his transparency; and yet, his heart to want to be a man who prays effectively for his marriage and for his family. I think it\u2019s easy for us to push prayer aside and to be busy with other things. When we do, we neglect what\u2019s often the most important thing we could be doing as we go before the throne of grace and ask the God of the universe to bless us, to bless our family, to care for specific needs. God has given us this gracious invitation to come before Him; and it\u2019s something we need to do regularly. As men\/as leaders of our household, this is a part of our assignment.<\/p>\n<p>And the good news is John <em>helps<\/em> us with this. He coaches, us as someone who has made this a practice and a discipline in his own life; he\u2019s written a book called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. It\u2019s a book we have available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can request your copy when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number.<\/p>\n<p>Again, John Yates\u2019 book is called <em>How a Man Prays for His Family<\/em>. This is a <em>great<\/em> book, by the way, for guys to go through with other guys in a small group setting. This book will really help you with that. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, here in the last week of 2021, I know many of us are thinking this is one of those years that: \u201cI\u2019m ready to move on from\u201d; right?\u2014hoping for a new year to be a brighter new year\/a fresh new year for us, personally, and for us as a culture. Here, at FamilyLife, we are hoping this last week of the year is marked by generosity. We\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to be as generous as you can possibly be so that, by the end of this week, we can take full advantage of a $2.3 million matching gift that has been made available to us. Whatever amount you give is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to that total of $2.3 million.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve received gifts, all month, toward that matching-gift fund. We\u2019ve made progress toward that goal; we still have a way to go. This week is going to be critical; so that\u2019s why we\u2019re asking you, today, to go online or to call and make as generous a donation as you can possibly make. Help us move forward into 2022, ready to tackle the challenges that are in front of us as a ministry.<\/p>\n<p>And when you donate, we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dane Ortlund\u2019s devotional from the book of Psalms. It\u2019s called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, and it\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a yearend donation. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Please pray for us that listeners will be generous, here in the last week of the year; and that we\u2019re able to take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And I hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when Dave and Ann Wilson will continue the conversation with John Yates about men praying for their family. They\u2019ll talk about why prayer is so vital\u2014so important for us, as men\u2014why God has given us this assignment. I hope you can tune in for that tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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