{"id":307328,"date":"2021-12-15T08:05:23","date_gmt":"2021-12-15T13:05:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/family-on-mission\/"},"modified":"2021-12-15T08:05:23","modified_gmt":"2021-12-15T13:05:23","slug":"family-on-mission","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/family-on-mission\/","title":{"rendered":"Family: On Mission"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the mission of your family? Jefferson Bethke helps listeners evaluate what guides their decisions and why it matters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:32","filesize":"24.29M","filesize_raw":"25474570","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2806],"tags":[4294,7015,7016],"podcast_series":[8495],"cwp_profile":[9599],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307328","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-spiritual-development","tag-family","tag-teams","tag-working-together","podcast_series-take-back-your-family","cwp_profile-jefferson-bethke","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307328\/family-on-mission","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307328\/family-on-mission","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FwGwxvB3BQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/family-on-mission\/\">Family: On Mission<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/family-on-mission\/embed\/#?secret=FwGwxvB3BQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Family: On Mission&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FwGwxvB3BQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What is the mission of your family? Jefferson Bethke helps listeners evaluate what guides their decisions and why it matters.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> It\u2019s necessary for a healthy family to have a mission; right? With young kids, we like to say, \u201cMake that your neighborhood; be the person of peace in your neighborhood that Luke 10 talks about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, so you walk up to any family\u2014at a park, at a church, in a neighborhood\u2014and ask them: \u201cMom and Dad, what\u2019s your mission for your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, I\u2019ve done that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWhat\u2019s the goal?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have asked that to multiple moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what? I\u2019ve seen you ask that; you walk around the park, just bugging people. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I don\u2019t! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve seen you do it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I don\u2019t; but I have asked that question to moms: \u201cWhat do you hope\/what do you <em>dream<\/em> for your kids? What is it?\u201d Almost 95 percent of the time the response I hear is \u201cI just want them to be happy,\u201d\u2014and I agree; don\u2019t we all want that for our kids?\u2014but <em>how<\/em> do you obtain happiness? I don\u2019t want their lives to be happy; I want them to be on fire; I want them to change the world. Then you get into the reality\u2014your kids are hitting each other and hate school\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cOh wait, how do I do this again?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Obviously, we\u2019re bringing this up because families <em>thrive<\/em> when they have a mission. And most of the time\u2014you said 95 percent\u2014it\u2019s probably, at least, 90 percent of moms and dads never thought that through: \u201cReally what is our mission as a family and what is <em>God\u2019s<\/em> mission for our family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s a good question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I tell you\/we\u2019ve got Jefferson Bethke in the studio with us today. I know, Jefferson\u2014first of all, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Thanks for having me back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve thought <em>a lot<\/em> about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re glad you\u2019ve thought about it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, this is something I really care about. A couple of things you guys just sparked that I was thinking of is\/one is: \u201cIt\u2019s necessary for a healthy family to have a mission; right?\u201d Another way to put it is: \u201cIf you don\u2019t have a shared enemy, then <em>you<\/em> become the enemy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Ooh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>We always tell families: \u201cIf you can\u2019t label or name a shared enemy\u2014even as simple as saying \u2018the forces of darkness or evil,\u2019 like we know what those are\u2014we can say, \u2018This is in our city; it looks like \u201cx,\u201d \u201cy,\u201d \u201cz,\u201d\u2019\u2014or it\u2019s something more specific. But if you don\u2019t have that, which most families don\u2019t, then you become each other\u2019s enemy.\u201d It\u2019s kind of like, if you\u2019re not facing a direction with your team, then your team starts to eat each other. It happens to families all the time. First of all, that one is true on the negative. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the positive side of that: \u201cHow does our family <em>find<\/em> a mission?\u201d In our work, we try to lead a lot of families through that question. The first thing I would say that we found out is that asking it that way, or thinking about it that way, tends to overwhelm people. They kind of start to sink, like, \u201cOh man, that feels <em>big<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; they feel like, \u201cI\u2019m <em>failing<\/em>. Already, I\u2019m failing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe say: \u201cThere [are] two missions every family should have; there\u2019s the general and the particular. The general is the Genesis one\u2014Genesis 2:15\u2014\u2018The Lord God put them in the Garden of Eden to work it and to keep it [Paraphrased].\u2019\u00a0 Your job is to find a garden, and to work it, and keep it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what\u2019s a garden? A garden is any place where you are making order out of chaos; that\u2019s what a gardener does. A gardener takes raw materials, and they make something beautiful; or they take raw materials, and they feed someone. Those are the only two possibilities of a garden. Where would that be, metaphorically? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a first question I would ask a family is: \u201cHow is your team wired? How has your team been given certain resources?\u2014whether financially, whether emotionally, whether personality\u2014what are the resources of your team?\u201d \u201cHow your kids are wired, the ages of them, the gifts, the talents, the wirings\u2014as well as the two parents\u2014and how can you start to nudge those giftings, and wirings, and talents <em>towards<\/em> a particular garden\/towards a particular place of making order out of chaos?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith young kids, we like to say, \u201cMake that your neighborhood.\u201d That\u2019s a really easy one, where it\u2019s not overwhelming; it\u2019s not crazy. You don\u2019t feel like you\u2019re\u2014because the one thing, too, is sometimes people take this and they go and start serving in church like crazy\u2014which I love the church; we serve in our church, etc.\u2014but there\u2019s also, like you can burn yourself out there real fast, especially with little kids. I think that\u2019s a short play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the long play is: \u201cHow about you\/maybe you don\u2019t serve in the church for the first ten years of your family? How about you train your team so that, then, they\u2019re strong enough, after ten years, to actually go serve the whole world or serve the church in a better capacity?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the neighborhood is a good one with little kids. We tell people: \u201cMake where you live a place of\u2014be the person of peace in your neighborhood that Luke 10 talks about\u2014whether that\u2019s dinners; whether that\u2019s a card for the neighbors. It could\u2014actually, we lived in a neighborhood, where we were the only Christians for five to six years, this last house we lived in. It was so fun to see\u2014I was just reflecting on it the other day of: \u201cWhen we started in the neighborhood, we didn\u2019t know anyone; and we ended in that neighborhood of like everyone\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t want to be prideful\u2014\u201ceveryone <em>loved<\/em> us\u201d; you know what I mean? [Laughter] We were just\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t want to be prideful; everybody <em>loved<\/em> us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> You know, everyone loved us. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, we were the only family; it was a benching neighborhood, where we were the only <em>family<\/em> in that neighborhood; everyone else was older. It was fascinating how we just leaned into it. A couple of them\u2014one guy was a paraplegic in a wheelchair, so we would help with stuff in his house, where the kids would come over and pick his vegetable garden; because he couldn\u2019t do it\u2014all this stuff; right?\u2014making meals for people, helping people when they had friends visit, and unlocking door, and getting mail. What that did is it\u2019s crazy how people enjoyed us being around; the kids loved it. You know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a small one; I would say that\u2019s easy in the small season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ll add to that; because sometimes, with little kids, you can just feel like, \u201cI have little kids; we\u2019re not doing anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do anything meaningful.\u201d That\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to say.<br><br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly; Dave and I did the same thing, where Dave\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, our neighbors <em>loved<\/em> us. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But honestly, we were <em>both<\/em> outside with <em>so many<\/em> neighbor kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s a better way to put it, too; is our commitment was like\u2014we had a funny commitment in our house\u2014our backyard was off limits: \u201cWe only hang out in the front yard,\u201d\u2014for that exact reason. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, these kids were over constantly; they would knock on the front door. This was when our kids were like three, five, eight. They would be like, \u201cCan Mr. Wilson come out and play?\u201d They seriously would. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>I <em>love<\/em> that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And we saw that as: \u201cOh, this is our ministry at this time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Your neighbors definitely loved us\/loved <em>you<\/em> I mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They <em>did<\/em> love him; we played <em>every<\/em> sport.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> That\u2019s the word for it though, \u201cthe ministry.\u201d Your neighborhood is your ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and your book, <em>Take Back Your Family<\/em>, which we\u2019re talking about, you\u2019re also\/your mission of the Bethke family was: \u201cTake back you neighborhood,\u201d \u201cTake back your city,\u201d\u2014not in a bad way\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but in a <em>beautiful<\/em> way,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> It\u2019s compelling love\/serve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014because God loves the family to look out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014bring the love of Jesus; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Exactly. There\u2019s two stages we say\u2014that\u2019s the young stage\u2014because I feel like you nailed it; because a lot of people with young kids think: \u201cI can\u2019t do anything meaningful,\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t do anything.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo; it\u2019s actually the most meaningful thing, hospitality. Jesus, almost His entire ministry, is hospitality. Yes, you can be hospitable; you can love your neighbors; you can serve them; you can honor them; you can be a person of peace in your neighborhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I think, when kids get older, we say: \u201cThat\u2019s when you can maybe start starting businesses together,\u201d \u201cYou can start serving together in the church,\u201d \u201cYou can find out what your kids are really are passionate about.\u201d When your kids are teenagers, by the way, one of the big things that I think a lot of families don\u2019t do, that should be, is those kids should be being able to be speaking <em>into<\/em> the family. They should be having a say in where the money goes; they should be having a say on where the resources go. That doesn\u2019t mean they have the <em>authority<\/em> on those things. But back in the day, 13-year-olds were adults; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, their voices should be heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, let them speak into the <em>mission<\/em>. I think that\u2019s one reason why kids actually leave the faith, or just go in a really dark season around teenage years and after, is because we didn\u2019t give them anything <em>meaningful<\/em>. It\u2019s kind of just like: \u201cWe\u2019ll keep you safe, and secure, and entertained,\u201d\u2014rather than, around 12,13,14\u2014\u201cHere\u2019s our money situation, and we have this much to give this year. What would you give it to?\u201d \u201cWho would you give it to?\u201d \u201cHow would you give it? Okay, well we can\u2019t do that; but you want to do\u2026sure, go ahead.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe actually have something like that with our kids, where we have a giving fund, we call it, where we put aside money every month. Then basically, the kids get to contribute to that. They\u2019ll be: \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014there was one time the kids brought some need of some girl, who like with school supplies, that they heard about at the playground. It was like, \u201cThat\u2019s perfect. There you go. Let\u2019s go do that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think you can do that in really large ways once your kids are older, because they\u2019re thriving almost mini adults; like integrate them into projects, missions, businesses\u2014whatever\u2014and it\u2019s really powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> As you said earlier, each of our kids brings a different part, different gifts, different insights. I remember, when our kids were teenagers or even younger, I was, \u201cThat is <em>fascinating<\/em>; our family needs to hear that,\u201d\u2014that you\u2019re giving them\u2014like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m necessary?\u201d \u201cMy thoughts are necessary?\u201d \u201cMy gifts are necessary?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s the best way to put it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s important for us, as parents, to recognize it and, then, to speak it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the questions would be: \u201cOkay; so often, the family has become inward\u2014protect, take care of us\u2014almost consumeristic; it\u2019s almost reinforced by the culture. How do you break out of that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> I think constantly trying to look outside\/constantly ask the Lord to lead. One practical way is: we have team meetings every week. Obviously, we have little kids; so the littlest ones are not really a part of it. If you have a weekly thing on the calendar, of like: \u201cWe are a team. Here\u2019s our mission; here\u2019s why we exist. Here\u2019s the list of things we\u2019re trying to decide this week\u2026\u201d It\u2019s crazy how that keeps you oriented. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Another thing that I found fascinating were the \u201cBethke Eight Guiding Principles,\u201d I guess?\u2014yes, guiding principles\/pillars.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> We call them pillars; yes. What we encourage families\u2014because, again, we try to work backwards, not making anyone feel overwhelmed\u2014so one thing I say is: \u201cOkay, think about your family like a house\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cor more of like a Roman colonial house with pillars. [Laughter] What are the things that hold your family up?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the things that define your family?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe kind of make it like a stream of consciousness exercise, by just start naming one word [answers]: \u201cWhat are the things that are important to you?\u201d \u201cWhat are the things that are valuable to you?\u201d and start writing those down. Come up with a list of 20 or 30\u2014just put whatever, like\u2014\u201cThis kid likes\u2026\u201d; \u201cThis kid likes\u2026\u201d; \u201cThis kid likes\u2026\u201d; \u201cThis parent likes\u2026\u201d; \u201cThis person\u2019s wired like\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever, etc.\u2014and then just go through the exercise of eliminating them based on: \u201cHow passionate are we really about that one?\u201d \u201cHow much does everyone care about that one?\u201d\u2014stuff like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it does is, then, it gives us these words to hold onto that don\u2019t just become these cute Etsy thing on the wall but, actually, become a filter. For Alyssa and me, whenever we\u2019re having a hard time with a really big decision of someone\u2019s either asking us to do something or commitment, we actually put it <em>through<\/em> the pillars. That almost becomes our third person in the marriage that helps us decide things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> I know that\u2019s a weird way to put it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>Another, too, by the way\u2014a total bonus for married people\u2014what it does, too, is it takes the problem from outside of preference and puts it to an agreed external; right? Sometimes, in an argument, you can always be like: \u201cWell, you just want to do that; because it\u2019s <em>your<\/em> personality,\u201d and \u201cI just want to do that\u2026\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t want to do it, because it\u2019s mine,\u201d or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when a marriage has agreed on a set of principles that are going to <em>guide<\/em> the team, then what it does is it takes the deciding thing outside of personality preference and puts it into an external reality that both people are submitting to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Stuff like that is really helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here\u2019s one of them that I\u2019d love you to talk about. You say, \u201cWe center the table in everything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes; we care about hospitality even to the point, now, where we\u2019ve almost started to transition with some of our business things into more real estate, and creating all this stuff; because we just care so deeply for <em>us<\/em> about creating spaces of hospitality\u2014welcoming people, serving pastors and people in ministry\u2014all of these different types of layers. Yes, there\u2019s that part of it. I would say that is the outward focus of us\/of our family: very much cares about inviting people to our house and our table and creating spaces for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then internally, as a family, we think the table\u2019s everything; because I think there\u2019s just statistics. Here\u2019s a crazy statistic, by the way\u2014I won\u2019t even be able to think of all the benefits, because it\u2019s like 30 benefits\u2014but it\u2019s like higher SAT scores, less likely of being thrown in prison, blah, blah, blah; every successful thing basically happens if you only eat dinner together, as a family, a certain amount. Now, guess what? If you\u2019re above that threshold, all these things are true. What would you guys guess that number is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I <em>know<\/em> what it is. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, because I think I said it before; I think I\u2019ve said it before. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve used it before too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> But it\u2019s like three or four\u2014right?\u2014which is crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Twenty-something meals are possible [available in a week]. I love that statistic, because most people guess high, like: \u201cTen,\u201d \u201cFifteen,\u201d\u2014like it\u2019s impossible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> \u2014<em>\u201cThree<\/em>?!\u201d That\u2019s like a breakfast, a Saturday dinner, and something to snack; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s doable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>very<\/em> doable. It\u2019s crazy how it centers identity, family story, comradery, connection in a rhythmic way over years; and then, also, I think it\u2019s where a lot of biblical formation happens at the table. It\u2019s kind of like you have a captured audience; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann and Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> It\u2019s like: \u201cMan, that\u2019s where we do\u2026\u201d \u201cAnytime we talk about the Lord or open up the Scriptures, it\u2019s always while we\u2019re eating.\u201d It\u2019s such a <em>powerful<\/em> mechanism. We just see Jesus always inviting people to tables. When He\u2019s trying to explain the kingdom, He\u2019s using the metaphor of feasts and tables. It\u2019s something that is very powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of my thoughts is a lot of families don\u2019t do that;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014<em>because<\/em> their kids are so involved in so many other things, it pulls them away. Some of those things are good. But talk about that a little bit: \u201cHow do you decide, as a mom and dad, with your kids?\u201d I mean, you\u2019ve got three kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> \u2014100 percent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014are they each going to be in three sports?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> No; yes. And when they get older, it\u2019s tougher. We\u2019re not saying: \u201cJust go doomsday and have all the kids inside all the time,\u201d \u201cYou can\u2019t do anything,\u201d\u2014whatever\u2014no, we\u2019re not saying that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But<\/em> what I challenge most parents with is: \u201cHow come you\u2019re willing to sacrifice in all the other domains of your life but <em>never<\/em> for your family?\u201d; right? What I mean by that is people almost feel guilty of saying, \u201cNo, we cannot go to that; because tonight\u2019s family night.\u201d People don\u2019t do that, or they feel really weird or guilty. There\u2019s no other domain of life where you do that. Your boss can\u2019t just be like, \u201cHey, I need you to work tomorrow,\u201d and you go, \u201cUh, someone just invited me to something else.\u201d No one does that; you can\u2019t do that; you\u2019d get fired.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same with school: you can\u2019t just not show up to school and be like, \u201cWell, I got invited to a birthday party that day,\u201d or \u201cWell, actually, I just signed up for sports; sorry.\u201d Just no other domain of our life\u2014it\u2019s just expected\u2014like, \u201cNo; you are in school, so you\u2019ll be here this time of day\u201d; \u201cYou have this job; you will be here this time of day.\u201d \u201cYou are in a family; you will be here these times of the day.\u201d I don\u2019t know <em>why<\/em> we think that\u2019s weird. I don\u2019t know <em>why<\/em> we think we can\u2019t do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re so pressured in our culture. I remember when one of our\u2014I think it was our oldest\u2014and we were talking about: \u201cAre they going to do baseball?\u201d This mom is like, \u201cYour son hasn\u2019t signed up for baseball?! [Laughter] You\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> get on the right team; and if he doesn\u2019t get on the right team\u2026\u201d I had this panic feeling, like, \u201cOh, no; my son\u2019s going to be the loser and the worst.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, totally;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I do remember, for one of our sons,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> \u2014and sports keep getting more and more\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014summer baseball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s an idol.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was a high-level baseball team. The coach told me: \u201cFirst of all,\u201d he said, \u201cbe my assistant coach.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, let me think about it; what\u2019s it look like?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cEighty games this summer.\u201d I said, <em>\u201cEighty games?<\/em>\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> \u201c<em>Eighty games in a summer!\u201d<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cHow do you play 80 games?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re <em>ten<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He goes\u2014yes, ten years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> He\u2019s ten years old?<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember saying, \u201cWe\u2019re not doing it.\u201d He said, \u201cYour son will <em>never<\/em> play at the next level. Do you realize the decision you\u2019re making?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like, \u201cWe\u2019ll see.\u201d He did play at the next level. But that decision, I was the only parent that made that decision. Everybody else said, \u201cYes, yes, yes.\u201d Plus, I\u2019ve been the coach of many of those teams; you\u2019re like, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have your kid here. He\u2019s never going to play at the next level [even] if he plays a <em>thousand<\/em> games.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Oh, yes; exactly. I do think that sports are an absolute idol in the West. I think it\u2019s where most parents live, vicariously, through them. There\u2019s weird identity things. That\u2019s why you see more signs at sports parks, by the way, that are instructing the parents how to talk than the kids, [Laughter] like: \u201cStop yelling\u201d; \u201cDon\u2019t get in a fight with the umpire\/the ref.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>That\u2019s not talking to the kids; it\u2019s talking to the parents, because we have weird idolatry\/identity issues with sports. Yes; of course, don\u2019t just be like this little hover of: \u201cYour kids can\u2019t do anything\u201d; but be <em>strategic<\/em>. Your family is important, so let that reflect in your values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI grew up playing baseball my whole life, competitively, so I actually resonate with everything you\u2019re saying\u2014all the way through college\u2014just the intensity got insane. But I remember one kid\u2014there was\/it was a family value of theirs that they were going to go to church every Sunday\u2014so every single tournament we played, he only played Friday and Saturday; and he never showed up on Sunday. He did fine. I think he even played all the way through college, too, as well. It\u2019s one of those things where: \u201cLet your values be your values; and either people will bend to it, or you just move on.\u201d It\u2019s like you just let it be; you know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> family discussion, as a team, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about our values, as a team, and what sports should look like,\u201d\u2014so that we\u2019re hearing our kids and what they want\u2014but: \u201cHow does that fit along with who we are as the Bethke [family]\u201d or \u201c\u2026the Wilson family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes; one thing we talk about, in the book and in family teams a lot, is most teams have really high-identity moments: these moments of like ritual, and moments of storytelling, and these moments of bonding; right? One way we say that\u2019s really easy to capture that, is: \u201cCreate a family dinner night.\u201d And I don\u2019t just mean that you eat together\u2014I mean like capitol \u201cF\u201d\/Family; capitol \u201cD\u201d\/Dinner\u2014like create a weekly holiday a little bit; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us, that\u2019s like our Shabbat; it goes 24 hours. You don\u2019t have to do that, but just create one night\u2014one time in the week, where you\u2019re showing, by how you show up at the table\u2014\u201cWe are important to each other.\u201d Everything gets a \u201cNo,\u201d that night; it doesn\u2019t matter\u2014if Dad gets invited, the kids get invited\u2014whatever. By the way, that sounds really intense; like, \u201cAre we really that busy, where we can\u2019t just say, \u2018No\u2019 to\u201d\u2014you know what I mean\u2014\u201cone night?\u201d\u2014not even the day. It\u2019s like, \u201cCan you give me an hour-and-a-half block?\u201d That shouldn\u2019t be tough for all of us, who just, \u201cWe can commit to this, and this is what it\u2019s going to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen make it special; make it something that the kids <em>want<\/em> to come to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; take us into your house and <em>show<\/em> us what it looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> For us, Friday night, it\u2019s a basically\u2014we always invite Alyssa\u2019s parents over; so that\u2019s fun, too. Make it a party in some sense, unless you get overwhelmed by the hospitality side, then maybe don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or order in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, exactly; pizza, paper plates, whatever it is. Your job is basically just make a night feel so fun and special that they <em>want <\/em>to be there; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> That\u2019s all it is. If you have grandparents, they definitely should be there. Put them on the seat of honor, and just ask them a ton of questions. Every Friday night, we basically have a dinner; we do light a candle; we do blessings, etc. But one of my favorite parts of that dinner is Alyssa\u2019s parents come over for that dinner, because they live by us; my parents live in Washington. And we just ask them questions, or the kids ask them questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so fun; because, you know, kids are naturally curious; so it\u2019s not hard to lead that. It\u2019s not hard to\u2014me and Alyssa stand back almost every night; we almost barely talk in those dinners\u2014because it quickly wants\/the kids quickly want to ask and, then, it\u2019s always just ridiculous fun stuff. But it is so fun, of like: \u201cWhat was the first bike you ever had?\u201d \u201cDo you remember the first person you dated?\u201d \u201cWhat was the first job?\u201d\u2014all these questions. And the grandparents light up, by the way; because they get put on the seat of honor that our culture <em>never<\/em> does. We <em>tend<\/em> to put grandparents more on the fringes, which I don\u2019t love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Put them on the seat of honor; ask them questions so they light up, and then it almost starts creating a family mythology. You start to realize how these tribal languages and cultures, sitting around a fire, or you even start to understand Deuteronomy a little bit better: \u201cDon\u2019t forget to tell your kids \u2018x\u2019, \u2018y\u2019, \u2018z\u2019; and then,\u00a0 your kids\u2019 kids,\u201d and \u201cMake sure you do this monument so any time your kids ask\u2026\u201d\u2014I mean, it\u2019s just <em>constant<\/em> story telling. I think that\u2019s really, really important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s actually pretty easy: right? Have a dinner; make it as fun and easy as possible: \u201cSo what would be fun for the kids; would be easy for you?\u201d And just start practicing it, because you\u2019re not going to get it right, right away. Invite people into it and tell stories. It\u2019s crazy how, sooner or later, it becomes a really fun, enjoyable night; and then, actually, goes way deeper than that on like gluing the family together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, if we did anything right\u2014you know, we have three sons now; grown; married; grandkids\u2014that\u2019s one thing we did right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We called it a Wilson Family Night\/Friday nights. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> That\u2019s cool; I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think we missed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We hardly ever missed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> That\u2019s amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014hardly ever missed. It was this thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson: <\/strong>When you think about that\u201420-something years of Fam Friday night\u2014that\u2019s <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Our kids are now doing it with their kids. I can remember my favorite part of being a kid\u2014and this isn\u2019t even a family of faith, but good people; my parents were <em>amazing<\/em>\u2014but sitting around the table with grandparents, hearing my parents, my siblings, and family members sharing stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes, you just want to stay; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t <em>wait<\/em> to get home. I didn\u2019t want to go to parties when I was a teenager, because I knew that they were having so much fun at home; and I didn\u2019t want to miss that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>By the way, what you said about creating this place of joy. When I was a teenager, the Baron family was known in our city as where you want to hang out. It became a magnet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> That\u2019s cool; yes, exactly: created space, where people want to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There was great food\/great stories; and people were seen, heard and loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jefferson:<\/strong> Yes; I love that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the reasons you wanted to hang out there is because it wasn\u2019t happening in your home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s easy for us to remember and recognize how important and how powerful family is for the members of the family\u2014how important it is for our family to be strong\u2014and for each of us to be able to depend on one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, sometimes, we forget what Dave and Ann Wilson were just talking with Jefferson Bethke about; and that is, that other people are watching. Our family has a reputation in the community. We are, as a family, representing Jesus to our community. I think a good question for us is: \u201cHow are we doing with that? What kind of a statement are we making?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJefferson Bethke\u2019s book<em>, Take Back Your Family<\/em> deals with the importance of family structure, not just for our own spiritual and emotional health, but for our witness to the world. And we\u2019ve got copies of his book available. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to order a copy; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Take Back Your Family<\/em> by Jefferson Bethke. Order your copy online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have never forgotten something that I heard Dr. Bill Bright say once. He was the president and founder of Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, now known as Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; FamilyLife is a part of Cru. Dr. Bright said, \u201cIf we can win the family, we can win the world.\u201d He recognized how significant marriage and family is in God\u2019s plan for the church, God\u2019s plan for the world, God\u2019s plan for culture and society. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, we believe that to effectively develop godly marriages and families is one of the most significant things we can be doing; that\u2019s our mission, here at FamilyLife. We believe we can change the world one home at a time by focusing on your marriage\/your family, helping to strengthen it and equip you to live out your faith at home. I know many of you resonate with that mission, not only for your own family, but for families in your community and families around the world. I know that because many of you are partners with us; you have made financial contributions to help sustain this ministry to help us continue to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next few weeks are critical for us at FamilyLife. What happens over the next couple of weeks, in terms of response from listeners, will determine just how much ministry we\u2019re able to do in 2022. The good news is we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry, who have come forward and said that they want to motivate and encourage <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to give and to give generously. These friends have agreed that they\u2019ll match every donation we receive, between now and the end of the year, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $1.5 million. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we\u2019re starting to make some progress toward that goal; but we still have a long way to go. That\u2019s why we want to come to you today and say, \u201cWould you make a generous yearend contribution, knowing that your donation will be doubled when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate?\u2014or when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and make your donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you do, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dane Ortlund\u2019s new devotional from the book of Psalms; it\u2019s called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge, <\/em>150 devotions from the Psalms, a great way to start the new year in God\u2019s Word. We\u2019ll also send you a deck of playing cards. Each card has a thought-provoking question for you so that you can have some good conversations while you\u2019re playing cards in the year ahead. Again, you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. We want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say thanks to our friends at Venture X coworking space in downtown Orlando. Today\u2019s program was recorded there. Tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about how important it is for us to be intentional about pointing our kids in the right direction\/to be intentionally discipling them. Terence Chatmon joins us tomorrow. I hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a CruMinistry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307328"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307328"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307328"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307328"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}