{"id":307320,"date":"2021-12-09T08:10:43","date_gmt":"2021-12-09T13:10:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat\/"},"modified":"2021-12-09T08:10:43","modified_gmt":"2021-12-09T13:10:43","slug":"when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat\/","title":{"rendered":"When Expectations in Marriage Fall Flat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I didn&#8217;t sign up for this. FamilyLife President David Robbins &#038; his wife Meg discuss how to deal when expectations in marriage fall short of reality.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app!<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I didn&#8217;t sign up for this. FamilyLife President David Robbins &amp; his wife Meg discuss how to deal when expectations in marriage fall short of reality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:12","filesize":"30.4M","filesize_raw":"31874003","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2820],"tags":[2877,5597],"podcast_series":[8493],"cwp_profile":[3576],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307320","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-lifelong-marriages","tag-marriage","tag-seasons","podcast_series-trusting-god-in-tough-seasons","cwp_profile-david-and-meg-robbins","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307320\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307320\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3V0Y2vdYUv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat\/\">When Expectations in Marriage Fall Flat<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-expectations-in-marriage-fall-flat\/embed\/#?secret=3V0Y2vdYUv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;When Expectations in Marriage Fall Flat&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3V0Y2vdYUv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about our wedding day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do we even have pictures? I don\u2019t think we have pictures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course, we do! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is what I remember about our wedding day\u2014besides your dad hiring a guy at work to take the pictures\u2014that\u2019s what I remember, and the paper cups for the reception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you\u2014wait\u2014that\u2019s what you remember about our wedding? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was the cheapest wedding a man could have, because your dad was cheap;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and I love the guy. I would have done it exactly the same way if I had daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait; wait; wait. Let\u2019s go back. What do you remember about our wedding day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do I remember? I had hair. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat do you remember about our wedding day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, the first thing I remember is forgetting the lyrics of the song I wrote you. Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I laughed so hard. But you don\u2019t remember the vows? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes\u2014the vows\u2014they were traditional vows. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They were. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve done them a thousand times as a pastor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was my point. That day was so special, but we were nervous. You were singing me a song that you made up, which was amazing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was a surprise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I thought it would be the coolest thing ever, and I forgot the lyrics. [Laughter] I just stood there, and the pastor\u2014do you remember?\u2014he covered up really good. He goes, \u201cLook what happens to a man in the midst of beauty,\u201d\u2014or something like that\u2014then, I remembered the lyrics; and you married me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I did, but what I remember about that day <em>wasn\u2019t<\/em> the actual ceremony; it was when we started our honeymoon. We got on our knees, before we got into our bed, and we prayed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you remember that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember exactly, word for word: \u201cGod, we are not asking You for a good marriage but for a great marriage that will one day impact the world for Your kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I remember, and I remember surrendering our lives to Jesus; and that, to me, was a holy moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was a holy moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It reminded me of Dr. Bill Bright and Vonette Bright\u2014their contract that they made with God, surrendering their lives\u2014they wrote it out, and they gave God their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday is going to be a great day because we have David Robbins and his wife Meg with us, who is the president of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, guys! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thanks! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Thanks so much; good to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And we have you here on a pretty important month in the yearly calendar of FamilyLife. Tell us why it is a critical month, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> December is a <em>huge<\/em> month for us. I want to remind our listeners, as we approach this critical time\/this month of December, over 40 percent of our donations for the entire year come in this <em>month<\/em>. These 30 days determine how FamilyLife will be able to fuel ministry over the course of the next 12 months. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you can imagine, we have had to make some tough calls over this last year. We are hoping that, through the generosity of people like you, we can continue to reach your home with timeless truth, and gospel-centered truth around marriage and family, and that we want to continue to reach more homes. We want to help other homes pursue the relationships that matter most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe encouraging thing is we are growing. Our podcasts have been downloaded by almost half-a-million times around the world each <em>month<\/em>, and your gift helps fuel ministry to those homes and those hearts. It makes it possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So not only will your donation\u2014it\u2019s going to be doubled\/matched, dollar for dollar\u2014but we\u2019re also going to send you a couple thank-you gifts. That\u2019s always a bonus, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and these are pretty cool thank-you gifts. Dane Ortlund, who has been a guest on here before, wrote a book called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, which is 150 devotionals from the book of Psalms. That is one of your gifts; but here is another one: playing cards that have conversation starters on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, what does that mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s awesome. You get to play cards, but you get to talk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, questions?!\u00a0 Aww!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> My wife loves this stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, this would be good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re actually going to want to play cards now; but anyway, that\u2019s a gift to you if you give a gift to FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs David said, this is critical. I mean, if you believe in what this ministry does\u2014and I know you do\u2014send a gift that will make a difference, not only in your lives, but in your neighbors\u2019 lives and impact the world for the kingdom. You can do that simply by donating right now at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can even call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your gift right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; let\u2019s go back, David and Meg, to your wedding day. Talk about that moment\/that special day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You know, what\u2019s fascinating about hearing you guys talk about your wedding night\u2014is that that same couple, Dr. Bill Bright and Vonette his wife, inspired us, too\u2014we got on our knees, and we surrendered, and kind of signed a contract of our lives away to the Lord also. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know that! You actually signed something too? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> We did; we did. We had heard that they had done that. Really, a couple years before that, had really been challenged to think\u2014instead of like writing out what we wanted our life to be, and signing that away, and asking the Lord to sign off on it\u2014like: \u201cWhat if we flip that around?\u201d You\u2019ve probably heard this challenge from them before: \u201cBut what if you just sign a blank page and say, \u2018Okay, Lord, what do You have for us? We are willing to sign off on whatever You might write for the story of our lives\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s scary! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I mean, that is scary in a lot of ways; but I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait; wait; wait. Let me clarify this. So you actually signed a blank page; there was nothing on it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Well, we had done that <em>before<\/em> we were engaged, like on our own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> Then we kind of brought that together under\u2014we did sign a piece of paper\u2014we have it in a scrapbook. Joshua 1:16 was the verse that we felt like the Lord was asking us to trust Him with of: \u201cWherever You send us, we will go. Whatever You command us to do, we will do.\u201d That was the people\u2019s response to Joshua when the Lord gave him the mantle of leadership from Moses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was our hearts\u2019 desire before the Lord: blank sheet of paper: \u201cWe want to keep that going together, not mess that up, because there is a lot of joy when you follow Him like that.\u201d We\u2019d experienced that in our singleness, so we wanted to experience that together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s interesting\u2014is the blank sheet of paper\u2014I didn\u2019t know that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never heard that, actually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve only heard of one other person <em>talking<\/em> about that\u2014a blank sheet\u2014meaning: \u201cIf it\u2019s for worse or if it\u2019s for poorer, we\u2019re in.\u201d Talk about that, because that isn\u2019t what everybody signs up for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There was a sincere heart to it; and there was a reason why we were on our knees before the Lord, wanting to give our lives to Him and commit to Joshua 1:16 together; it\u2019s engraved in our wedding band. However, the blank sheet actually just has exposed my selfishness over, and over, and over again. It\u2019s exposed how selfish I am; and sometimes, unwilling to follow what the Lord\u2019s prompted me to do until He uses it to draw me back into Him as He says to me: \u201cDavid, is your life Mine? Is it the Lord\u2019s?\u201d \u201cAm I still committed, in an ongoing way, to that blank sheet of paper?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>It\u2019s very practical; yes. Life comes at you hard, but there is also that continual invitation to the blank sheet of paper that God keeps shaping that is hard and beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> <em>Yes<\/em>, so true. It\u2019s dying to yourself and what your\u2014even your dreams\u2014some of our dreams are beautiful and God-given and, sometimes, cultivates those; and sometimes, we don\u2019t see those things become a reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you are right. It\u2019s constantly saying, \u201cOkay, Lord, whatever <em>You<\/em> have for me,\u201d\u2014whether that is today, this year, this season of life, or our entire life. Yes; coming back to that over and over again, I think the Lord keeps bringing us back to that, whether we see it as the blank page, back on our wedding day; or just those daily moments of: \u201cOkay, do I trust You at this level, Lord,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwith whatever You have?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, I have never\u2014and maybe Ann has\u2014I have <em>never<\/em> met another couple, who had gotten on their knees on their wedding night. I\u2019m not even sure I\u2019ve ever heard that. Again, I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s that unique. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I think it\u2019s sort of unique, so take us <em>there<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, it was something that we planned. I bought this pillow that was like from Walmart.<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> I think it was a red king-sized pillow, like, \u201c<em>This<\/em> will be our prayer pillow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to kneel on? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014to kneel on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It might have even been like a pregnancy body pillow. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It was <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; I like that you have this forethought, though. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait; wait. You are carrying that up to the wedding suite\/the honeymoon suite? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I already had\/you know, there was a little preparation, Dave! I had it in there already! It was a surprise. I mean, we knew we were going to commit to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoshua 1:16 together; but I was like, \u201cHey, before we do anything else in our marriage, I want to get on our knees together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is also true and funny is that I don\u2019t think we used that pillow another night. [Laughter] I had this vision of it being a permanent, in our closet, red pillow of prayer; and well, we used it that one night; and it was a <em>great<\/em> night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is pretty cool, actually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> It was advice from a mentor couple to the new husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are engaged\/about to be married, get a small, thoughtful gift every day of the honeymoon. That was\/someone told me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What a great idea! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014that in passing. It made such a fun thing for a little surprise here or there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> That is so true. I think\u2014it might have been the same couple\u2014also encouraged us to pray every day, like, \u201cPray together every day in your marriage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s like a declaration of dependence and a declaration of really dying daily, of going, \u201cOkay, God, my day is ending. My life tomorrow is Yours\u201d; and we always pray about the next day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I remember\u2014it was\/actually, we were still on our honeymoon\u2014we\u2019d been married a week. I was young in my faith. Dave was young in his faith, too; but we were coming on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> now\u2014but I woke up in the middle of the night on our honeymoon with this feeling of God is in the room. I felt like this holy moment. So much so, I got on my knees beside the bed. Dave was asleep; and I was just praying, \u201cLord, I feel like You want to speak to me.\u201d I just had this impression in my mind to read the book of James. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was young in my faith; so I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that must be like a happiness book of the Bible.\u201d [Laughter] So the next day, Dave and I are talking. I said, \u201cHey, I had this experience last night; I felt this impression to read the book of James.\u201d Dave says, \u201cThat\u2019s all about <em>trials<\/em>. Why would we be reading about <em>trials<\/em> in our marriage?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMind you, we had just prayed seven days earlier, \u201cLord, we give You our entire marriage, our lives, everything to glorify You.\u201d What a sweet gift; because I remember thinking, \u201cWhy would He have us read <em>that<\/em> book?\u201d Do you remember that? We read it on our honeymoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> James 1: \u201cConsider it all joy my brothers when you encounter various trials.\u201d It sort of prepped us to understand that there are going to be trials in our marriage, and there is a joy that is literally possible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in the middle of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we lost hope in terms of\u2014God can fix us\/God can help us\u2014but He is not going to be able to <em>use<\/em> us. We sort of had a perspective back then: \u201cGod uses the good marriages. People, who go to church are good people; and they are not so messed up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand the people, who don\u2019t have pasts, or they aren\u2019t messed up like we are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so you sort of thought you sort of forfeited your right to be able to be used by God. Yet, we found: \u201cMan, He meets us right there. And then, He actually uses it,\u201d\u2014because all the other couples are going through similar stuff. They want a couple who has been there; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I mean, you look through all of Scripture\u2014and God uses broken people that He redeems and restores and then uses them as agents of transformation and reconciliation\u2014because they have been reconciled and can speak, firsthand, about it. That is what all of us, who are in Christ\/we all have the Holy Spirit inside of us that He is doing this ongoing work. I mean, that second part of that verse of James1, verse4: \u201c\u2026so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, as we think back to our wedding day, and we think back to those vows, you don\u2019t think of all the trials that are coming, or the poor times, or the sick times; but yet, it is through those times of wilderness, or obscurity, or suffering that you are shaped into the likeness of Christ. We share in His suffering and are able to be agents of transformation to people around us. None of us want to go through those seasons; yet, it is because of those seasons that we end up, out of a really authentic place, pouring out Jesus to those people around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, I think Joshua 1:16 says: \u201cWhatever You command us, we will do. Wherever You send us, we will go.\u201d A lot of times, we think of that in the physical sense. I think it has meant so much to us, over the years, that God started us out, in the beginning, saying, \u201cWherever You send us, we will go\u201d; because I did grow up living in the same house my entire life until I went to college\u2014we didn\u2019t even move, much less move <em>cities<\/em>\u2014and we [David and I] have moved a lot; God has called us several different places. It\u2019s been hard to pack up and move, especially as we\u2019ve had more children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, even more, even in the spiritual sense or the emotional sense\u2014\u201cWherever You send us, we will go,\u201d\u2014even if it is into the valleys and into the depths of places that are painful and hard. We wish we weren\u2019t there at times; but it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay, Lord, we will follow You even to those hard places\u201d; because, like David was just saying, those are the things that shape us. We experience more of who He is even in those hard\u2014actually, especially\u2014it\u2019s not really <em>even<\/em> in those places. I feel like, when you are in the depths and in the hard painful places, we experience even more of who God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, Meg, too, it is also, as we go into those valleys, we are exposed as people: we really <em>see<\/em> one another; we see each other\u2019s weaknesses; we see our flaws; we see the past pain and how that has shaped us. I think to love each other, when we see the true\u2014like, \u201cOh, I see your brokenness,\u201d\u2014and sometimes, you want to run away from, like, \u201cWait! I didn\u2019t see <em>that<\/em> on our honeymoon day. What is <em>that<\/em>?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, God is continually asking: \u201cCan you love her?\u201d \u201cCan you love him as you see the flaws?\u201d That\u2019s not always easy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Is there a valley that you remember? Can you take us through one that was really hard for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> When we had three children\u2014so after our third was born\u2014our oldest was barely three, so they were three and under. I mean, I think that the first two, you\u2019re kind of living in a fog for a couple of months\/whatever. With the third one, I think I was in the fog for ten months [Laughter]; but it was a <em>tough<\/em> time for me. I mean, I love our children\u2014loved getting to be a mom\u2014but they all needed me all the time. You know, it was physical needs constantly; and now, we have teenagers; and it is a totally different thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut at that time, we moved to Atlanta. David was travelling more; he was in a regional role with Cru. That meant I was at home with the kids by myself a lot. I realized I was starting to get so frustrated and bitter, because I wasn\u2019t getting to do as much ministry anymore. Well, ministry just looked really different\u2014it was investing in our children\u2014but that meant changing diapers. It wasn\u2019t like discipleship in the way that I was used to on college campuses before that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I remember driving to Wednesday night church; and I remember I had just gotten back from a trip, where I was coaching a campus. The couple who was in charge of that campus was having a pretty big crisis moment, and I was telling Meg a little bit about it. I just leaned over to her, and I go, \u201cSo does me talking that much about <em>their<\/em> marriage make you wonder about <em>ours<\/em> at all?\u201d [Laughter] What I remember is that Meg just let out a \u201cHUH!\u201d I go, \u201cOh, we\u2019ll talk about that after church.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> But I was\/I mean, I was feeling that way. I think there were little things that I realized were starting to bother me <em>so much<\/em> that shouldn\u2019t have. Like David would say, \u201cOh, I\u2019ll be home by 6:15,\u201d\u2014anytime\/any minute after 6:15, and I was coming undone\u2014partly because, as a mom, you are surviving all day; and you\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis is my moment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Meg, I am tracking with you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thank you; thank you. You know, at 6:16, 6:17, 6:30, and I am <em>fuming<\/em> by the time he gets home. I realized I was letting so much of that build up, and it was creating such division. Yes; so when he asked me that, that was just one example of things that I was getting overly angry about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cYes, we do. We need to really talk about how this is affecting us\u2014new season of life, three small children, you\u2019re travelling a lot\u2014but what is happening between us, and how do we work through that?\u201d It was a valley just created by circumstances\u2014but my sin was <em>totally<\/em> getting in the way\u2014and not going to him, and talking it out and having honest conversations about: \u201cHey, just don\u2019t tell me what time you are going to be home, because it would be a lot better if you just say\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014\u201clet alone, pull in the driveway, and stay on your phone for ten more minutes\u201d; you know? That was the <em>worst<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh, that was <em>bad<\/em>. The dog\u2019s going crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> But even in that season, it was small, simple steps; there was nothing dramatic. But there was a: \u201cOkay; let\u2019s own this. We want a <em>great<\/em> marriage, not just a good marriage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember one of the simple steps we took was: \u201cInstead of going on Wednesday nights and going to hang out with other adults, eating dinner;\u00a0 let\u2019s go to that marriage group.\u201d It ended up being a really safe place that was one of things that God used to restore us in that season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, as I\u2019m listening, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYour valley is your vehicle.\u201d You know, as a preacher, it came to my mind. We\u2019ve often said, \u201cYour pain is your purpose.\u201d I was thinking, \u201cAs you talk about that\u201d\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about our valleys\u2014it\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> how God often meets us there; but then says, \u201cI actually want to use this moment\/this season to help other families that are going through it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t talk about this\u2014but it came to my mind\u2014I <em>love<\/em> this passage. It\u2019s one of the verses I didn\u2019t understand for years; and now, I think I sort of do: 2 Corinthians 1:3, where Paul writes: \u201cPraise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,\u201d\u2014listen to this\u2014\u201cwho comforts us in all our troubles\u201d\u2014so that is in the valley\u2014\u201cso that\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a purpose statement; it isn\u2019t just so He can comfort us; there is a <em>reason<\/em>\u2014\u201cso that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when you are in that moment\u2014in fact, in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book, we called them\/the season you are talking about\u2014\u201cthe shadow of the valley of death.\u201d [Laughter] You know, when you have little toddlers in the home, and you are <em>exhausted<\/em>, and you\u2019re wife is coming home late or your husband\u2019s coming home late; and you\u2019re so mad because they are not there to be a partner with you. It\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> season; but the thing we never understood is God will actually use that valley as the vehicle in your life to minister to others. Here we are; we are sitting in this studio. There are families in that valley right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll I can say\u2014and we already said this earlier\u2014here is my application: \u201cGet on your knees together, tonight, as a couple.\u201d Ann said to me three months ago, \u201cWe should start praying again on our knees at the foot of our bed.\u201d We started doing it. I would love to tell you, right now, we are doing it every night; we\u2019re not. But I tell you, the other night\u2014you know, we\u2019re in bed\u2014and I jumped out of bed. I went down to my knees, and she literally goes, \u201cAre you on your knees! Oh, my goodness!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was dark; I couldn\u2019t see him. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She <em>runs<\/em> down there. It reminded me how much your partner wants to pray with you. I mean, she literally jumps out of bed. We pray for 30 seconds\/a minute. It\u2019s not like this big thing; but it\u2019s like a bonding moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014vertically\u2014but it\u2019s horizontal, because you are doing it together. I think <em>that<\/em> helps you get through the valleys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there is anything I can say to a couple, listening right now: \u201cGet on your knees together tonight. Maybe, start a practice.\u201d If your spouse won\u2019t do it, <em>you<\/em> do it;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because you can pray for you, and you can pray for God\u2019s comfort to meet you in this marriage. I bet you God\u2019s going to meet you, and then actually use you to help others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we go through challenging seasons in our marriage, it really reveals where our hope is\/where our source of strength is. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, that: \u201cWhen the rains come and the storms blow, it will be evident whether your house is built on sand or built on a rock.\u201d It\u2019s so important for us to make sure that we are building our relationship on the rock of God\u2019s Word\/on our relationship with Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friends, Jeff and Sarah Walton, have written a book called <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>, biblical encouragement for facing challenges in marriage. We\u2019ve got copies of their book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. For those of you who are in the midst of a storm, or want to prepare for the storm, you can get a copy of the book. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to request your copy. Again, the number is 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, here at FamilyLife, everything we do is to help get you ready for the challenging moments you are going to face in marriage. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want your marriage\/your family to stand strong in the storms. We trust that these daily times together\u2014as you tune into <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, as you listen to the podcast, as you take advantage of resources we offer, or attend the events that we host\u2014we trust that all of these efforts are helping you to build your marriage\/your relationship on a solid foundation\/on a biblical foundation. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family to effectively develop godly marriages and families that can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese last few weeks of 2021 are significant for our ministry. Hearing from listeners over the next few weeks will determine for us just how aggressively we are able to move forward in the new year to continue providing this daily radio program, the resources you depend on, the events that you look forward to. The real issue is: \u201cHow many marriages and families will be impacted in the year ahead?\u201d A lot of that comes down to what we hear from listeners over the next few weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re asking <em>all<\/em> of you to consider making a generous yearend contribution\u2014be as generous as you can be\u2014the reason for that is because there is a matching-gift fund that has been made available to us: $1.5 million in matching funds that are available. We need to hear from listeners, like you, to take advantage of those matching funds. Whatever donation you make, we\u2019ll receive an equal amount from the matching-gift fund; your donation will be effectively <em>doubled<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. When you do, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Dane Ortlund\u2019s new book called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, 150 devotions from the book of Psalms. It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a yearend donation, and we look forward to hearing from you. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd be sure to join us tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear from David and Meg Robbins about when they received the news that one of their children would be born with special needs, and we\u2019ll hear about how that impacted their relationship with one another. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a CruMinistry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:33:12"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.4M"],"filesize_raw":["31874003"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307320.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307320.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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didn't sign up for this. FamilyLife President David Robbins &amp; his wife Meg discuss how to deal when expectations in marriage fall short of reality.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-12-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about our wedding day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do we even have pictures? I don\u2019t think we have pictures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course, we do! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is what I remember about our wedding day\u2014besides your dad hiring a guy at work to take the pictures\u2014that\u2019s what I remember, and the paper cups for the reception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you\u2014wait\u2014that\u2019s what you remember about our wedding? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was the cheapest wedding a man could have, because your dad was cheap;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and I love the guy. I would have done it exactly the same way if I had daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait; wait; wait. Let\u2019s go back. What do you remember about our wedding day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do I remember? I had hair. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat do you remember about our wedding day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, the first thing I remember is forgetting the lyrics of the song I wrote you. Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I laughed so hard. But you don\u2019t remember the vows? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes\u2014the vows\u2014they were traditional vows. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They were. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve done them a thousand times as a pastor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was my point. That day was so special, but we were nervous. You were singing me a song that you made up, which was amazing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was a surprise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I thought it would be the coolest thing ever, and I forgot the lyrics. [Laughter] I just stood there, and the pastor\u2014do you remember?\u2014he covered up really good. He goes, \u201cLook what happens to a man in the midst of beauty,\u201d\u2014or something like that\u2014then, I remembered the lyrics; and you married me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I did, but what I remember about that day <em>wasn\u2019t<\/em> the actual ceremony; it was when we started our honeymoon. We got on our knees, before we got into our bed, and we prayed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you remember that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember exactly, word for word: \u201cGod, we are not asking You for a good marriage but for a great marriage that will one day impact the world for Your kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I remember, and I remember surrendering our lives to Jesus; and that, to me, was a holy moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was a holy moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It reminded me of Dr. Bill Bright and Vonette Bright\u2014their contract that they made with God, surrendering their lives\u2014they wrote it out, and they gave God their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday is going to be a great day because we have David Robbins and his wife Meg with us, who is the president of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, guys! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thanks! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Thanks so much; good to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And we have you here on a pretty important month in the yearly calendar of FamilyLife. Tell us why it is a critical month, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> December is a <em>huge<\/em> month for us. I want to remind our listeners, as we approach this critical time\/this month of December, over 40 percent of our donations for the entire year come in this <em>month<\/em>. These 30 days determine how FamilyLife will be able to fuel ministry over the course of the next 12 months. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you can imagine, we have had to make some tough calls over this last year. We are hoping that, through the generosity of people like you, we can continue to reach your home with timeless truth, and gospel-centered truth around marriage and family, and that we want to continue to reach more homes. We want to help other homes pursue the relationships that matter most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe encouraging thing is we are growing. Our podcasts have been downloaded by almost half-a-million times around the world each <em>month<\/em>, and your gift helps fuel ministry to those homes and those hearts. It makes it possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So not only will your donation\u2014it\u2019s going to be doubled\/matched, dollar for dollar\u2014but we\u2019re also going to send you a couple thank-you gifts. That\u2019s always a bonus, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and these are pretty cool thank-you gifts. Dane Ortlund, who has been a guest on here before, wrote a book called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, which is 150 devotionals from the book of Psalms. That is one of your gifts; but here is another one: playing cards that have conversation starters on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, what does that mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s awesome. You get to play cards, but you get to talk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, questions?!\u00a0 Aww!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> My wife loves this stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, this would be good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re actually going to want to play cards now; but anyway, that\u2019s a gift to you if you give a gift to FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs David said, this is critical. I mean, if you believe in what this ministry does\u2014and I know you do\u2014send a gift that will make a difference, not only in your lives, but in your neighbors\u2019 lives and impact the world for the kingdom. You can do that simply by donating right now at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can even call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your gift right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; let\u2019s go back, David and Meg, to your wedding day. Talk about that moment\/that special day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You know, what\u2019s fascinating about hearing you guys talk about your wedding night\u2014is that that same couple, Dr. Bill Bright and Vonette his wife, inspired us, too\u2014we got on our knees, and we surrendered, and kind of signed a contract of our lives away to the Lord also. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know that! You actually signed something too? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> We did; we did. We had heard that they had done that. Really, a couple years before that, had really been challenged to think\u2014instead of like writing out what we wanted our life to be, and signing that away, and asking the Lord to sign off on it\u2014like: \u201cWhat if we flip that around?\u201d You\u2019ve probably heard this challenge from them before: \u201cBut what if you just sign a blank page and say, \u2018Okay, Lord, what do You have for us? We are willing to sign off on whatever You might write for the story of our lives\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s scary! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I mean, that is scary in a lot of ways; but I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait; wait; wait. Let me clarify this. So you actually signed a blank page; there was nothing on it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Well, we had done that <em>before<\/em> we were engaged, like on our own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> Then we kind of brought that together under\u2014we did sign a piece of paper\u2014we have it in a scrapbook. Joshua 1:16 was the verse that we felt like the Lord was asking us to trust Him with of: \u201cWherever You send us, we will go. Whatever You command us to do, we will do.\u201d That was the people\u2019s response to Joshua when the Lord gave him the mantle of leadership from Moses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was our hearts\u2019 desire before the Lord: blank sheet of paper: \u201cWe want to keep that going together, not mess that up, because there is a lot of joy when you follow Him like that.\u201d We\u2019d experienced that in our singleness, so we wanted to experience that together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s interesting\u2014is the blank sheet of paper\u2014I didn\u2019t know that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never heard that, actually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve only heard of one other person <em>talking<\/em> about that\u2014a blank sheet\u2014meaning: \u201cIf it\u2019s for worse or if it\u2019s for poorer, we\u2019re in.\u201d Talk about that, because that isn\u2019t what everybody signs up for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There was a sincere heart to it; and there was a reason why we were on our knees before the Lord, wanting to give our lives to Him and commit to Joshua 1:16 together; it\u2019s engraved in our wedding band. However, the blank sheet actually just has exposed my selfishness over, and over, and over again. It\u2019s exposed how selfish I am; and sometimes, unwilling to follow what the Lord\u2019s prompted me to do until He uses it to draw me back into Him as He says to me: \u201cDavid, is your life Mine? Is it the Lord\u2019s?\u201d \u201cAm I still committed, in an ongoing way, to that blank sheet of paper?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>It\u2019s very practical; yes. Life comes at you hard, but there is also that continual invitation to the blank sheet of paper that God keeps shaping that is hard and beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> <em>Yes<\/em>, so true. It\u2019s dying to yourself and what your\u2014even your dreams\u2014some of our dreams are beautiful and God-given and, sometimes, cultivates those; and sometimes, we don\u2019t see those things become a reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you are right. It\u2019s constantly saying, \u201cOkay, Lord, whatever <em>You<\/em> have for me,\u201d\u2014whether that is today, this year, this season of life, or our entire life. Yes; coming back to that over and over again, I think the Lord keeps bringing us back to that, whether we see it as the blank page, back on our wedding day; or just those daily moments of: \u201cOkay, do I trust You at this level, Lord,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwith whatever You have?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, I have never\u2014and maybe Ann has\u2014I have <em>never<\/em> met another couple, who had gotten on their knees on their wedding night. I\u2019m not even sure I\u2019ve ever heard that. Again, I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s that unique. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I think it\u2019s sort of unique, so take us <em>there<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, it was something that we planned. I bought this pillow that was like from Walmart.<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> I think it was a red king-sized pillow, like, \u201c<em>This<\/em> will be our prayer pillow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to kneel on? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014to kneel on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It might have even been like a pregnancy body pillow. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It was <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; I like that you have this forethought, though. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait; wait. You are carrying that up to the wedding suite\/the honeymoon suite? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I already had\/you know, there was a little preparation, Dave! I had it in there already! It was a surprise. I mean, we knew we were going to commit to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoshua 1:16 together; but I was like, \u201cHey, before we do anything else in our marriage, I want to get on our knees together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is also true and funny is that I don\u2019t think we used that pillow another night. [Laughter] I had this vision of it being a permanent, in our closet, red pillow of prayer; and well, we used it that one night; and it was a <em>great<\/em> night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is pretty cool, actually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> It was advice from a mentor couple to the new husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are engaged\/about to be married, get a small, thoughtful gift every day of the honeymoon. That was\/someone told me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What a great idea! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014that in passing. It made such a fun thing for a little surprise here or there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> That is so true. I think\u2014it might have been the same couple\u2014also encouraged us to pray every day, like, \u201cPray together every day in your marriage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s like a declaration of dependence and a declaration of really dying daily, of going, \u201cOkay, God, my day is ending. My life tomorrow is Yours\u201d; and we always pray about the next day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I remember\u2014it was\/actually, we were still on our honeymoon\u2014we\u2019d been married a week. I was young in my faith. Dave was young in his faith, too; but we were coming on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> now\u2014but I woke up in the middle of the night on our honeymoon with this feeling of God is in the room. I felt like this holy moment. So much so, I got on my knees beside the bed. Dave was asleep; and I was just praying, \u201cLord, I feel like You want to speak to me.\u201d I just had this impression in my mind to read the book of James. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was young in my faith; so I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that must be like a happiness book of the Bible.\u201d [Laughter] So the next day, Dave and I are talking. I said, \u201cHey, I had this experience last night; I felt this impression to read the book of James.\u201d Dave says, \u201cThat\u2019s all about <em>trials<\/em>. Why would we be reading about <em>trials<\/em> in our marriage?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMind you, we had just prayed seven days earlier, \u201cLord, we give You our entire marriage, our lives, everything to glorify You.\u201d What a sweet gift; because I remember thinking, \u201cWhy would He have us read <em>that<\/em> book?\u201d Do you remember that? We read it on our honeymoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> James 1: \u201cConsider it all joy my brothers when you encounter various trials.\u201d It sort of prepped us to understand that there are going to be trials in our marriage, and there is a joy that is literally possible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in the middle of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we lost hope in terms of\u2014God can fix us\/God can help us\u2014but He is not going to be able to <em>use<\/em> us. We sort of had a perspective back then: \u201cGod uses the good marriages. People, who go to church are good people; and they are not so messed up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand the people, who don\u2019t have pasts, or they aren\u2019t messed up like we are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so you sort of thought you sort of forfeited your right to be able to be used by God. Yet, we found: \u201cMan, He meets us right there. And then, He actually uses it,\u201d\u2014because all the other couples are going through similar stuff. They want a couple who has been there; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I mean, you look through all of Scripture\u2014and God uses broken people that He redeems and restores and then uses them as agents of transformation and reconciliation\u2014because they have been reconciled and can speak, firsthand, about it. That is what all of us, who are in Christ\/we all have the Holy Spirit inside of us that He is doing this ongoing work. I mean, that second part of that verse of James1, verse4: \u201c\u2026so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, as we think back to our wedding day, and we think back to those vows, you don\u2019t think of all the trials that are coming, or the poor times, or the sick times; but yet, it is through those times of wilderness, or obscurity, or suffering that you are shaped into the likeness of Christ. We share in His suffering and are able to be agents of transformation to people around us. None of us want to go through those seasons; yet, it is because of those seasons that we end up, out of a really authentic place, pouring out Jesus to those people around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, I think Joshua 1:16 says: \u201cWhatever You command us, we will do. Wherever You send us, we will go.\u201d A lot of times, we think of that in the physical sense. I think it has meant so much to us, over the years, that God started us out, in the beginning, saying, \u201cWherever You send us, we will go\u201d; because I did grow up living in the same house my entire life until I went to college\u2014we didn\u2019t even move, much less move <em>cities<\/em>\u2014and we [David and I] have moved a lot; God has called us several different places. It\u2019s been hard to pack up and move, especially as we\u2019ve had more children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, even more, even in the spiritual sense or the emotional sense\u2014\u201cWherever You send us, we will go,\u201d\u2014even if it is into the valleys and into the depths of places that are painful and hard. We wish we weren\u2019t there at times; but it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay, Lord, we will follow You even to those hard places\u201d; because, like David was just saying, those are the things that shape us. We experience more of who He is even in those hard\u2014actually, especially\u2014it\u2019s not really <em>even<\/em> in those places. I feel like, when you are in the depths and in the hard painful places, we experience even more of who God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, Meg, too, it is also, as we go into those valleys, we are exposed as people: we really <em>see<\/em> one another; we see each other\u2019s weaknesses; we see our flaws; we see the past pain and how that has shaped us. I think to love each other, when we see the true\u2014like, \u201cOh, I see your brokenness,\u201d\u2014and sometimes, you want to run away from, like, \u201cWait! I didn\u2019t see <em>that<\/em> on our honeymoon day. What is <em>that<\/em>?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, God is continually asking: \u201cCan you love her?\u201d \u201cCan you love him as you see the flaws?\u201d That\u2019s not always easy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Is there a valley that you remember? Can you take us through one that was really hard for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> When we had three children\u2014so after our third was born\u2014our oldest was barely three, so they were three and under. I mean, I think that the first two, you\u2019re kind of living in a fog for a couple of months\/whatever. With the third one, I think I was in the fog for ten months [Laughter]; but it was a <em>tough<\/em> time for me. I mean, I love our children\u2014loved getting to be a mom\u2014but they all needed me all the time. You know, it was physical needs constantly; and now, we have teenagers; and it is a totally different thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut at that time, we moved to Atlanta. David was travelling more; he was in a regional role with Cru. That meant I was at home with the kids by myself a lot. I realized I was starting to get so frustrated and bitter, because I wasn\u2019t getting to do as much ministry anymore. Well, ministry just looked really different\u2014it was investing in our children\u2014but that meant changing diapers. It wasn\u2019t like discipleship in the way that I was used to on college campuses before that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I remember driving to Wednesday night church; and I remember I had just gotten back from a trip, where I was coaching a campus. The couple who was in charge of that campus was having a pretty big crisis moment, and I was telling Meg a little bit about it. I just leaned over to her, and I go, \u201cSo does me talking that much about <em>their<\/em> marriage make you wonder about <em>ours<\/em> at all?\u201d [Laughter] What I remember is that Meg just let out a \u201cHUH!\u201d I go, \u201cOh, we\u2019ll talk about that after church.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> But I was\/I mean, I was feeling that way. I think there were little things that I realized were starting to bother me <em>so much<\/em> that shouldn\u2019t have. Like David would say, \u201cOh, I\u2019ll be home by 6:15,\u201d\u2014anytime\/any minute after 6:15, and I was coming undone\u2014partly because, as a mom, you are surviving all day; and you\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis is my moment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Meg, I am tracking with you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thank you; thank you. You know, at 6:16, 6:17, 6:30, and I am <em>fuming<\/em> by the time he gets home. I realized I was letting so much of that build up, and it was creating such division. Yes; so when he asked me that, that was just one example of things that I was getting overly angry about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cYes, we do. We need to really talk about how this is affecting us\u2014new season of life, three small children, you\u2019re travelling a lot\u2014but what is happening between us, and how do we work through that?\u201d It was a valley just created by circumstances\u2014but my sin was <em>totally<\/em> getting in the way\u2014and not going to him, and talking it out and having honest conversations about: \u201cHey, just don\u2019t tell me what time you are going to be home, because it would be a lot better if you just say\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014\u201clet alone, pull in the driveway, and stay on your phone for ten more minutes\u201d; you know? That was the <em>worst<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh, that was <em>bad<\/em>. The dog\u2019s going crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> But even in that season, it was small, simple steps; there was nothing dramatic. But there was a: \u201cOkay; let\u2019s own this. We want a <em>great<\/em> marriage, not just a good marriage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember one of the simple steps we took was: \u201cInstead of going on Wednesday nights and going to hang out with other adults, eating dinner;\u00a0 let\u2019s go to that marriage group.\u201d It ended up being a really safe place that was one of things that God used to restore us in that season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, as I\u2019m listening, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYour valley is your vehicle.\u201d You know, as a preacher, it came to my mind. We\u2019ve often said, \u201cYour pain is your purpose.\u201d I was thinking, \u201cAs you talk about that\u201d\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about our valleys\u2014it\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> how God often meets us there; but then says, \u201cI actually want to use this moment\/this season to help other families that are going through it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t talk about this\u2014but it came to my mind\u2014I <em>love<\/em> this passage. It\u2019s one of the verses I didn\u2019t understand for years; and now, I think I sort of do: 2 Corinthians 1:3, where Paul writes: \u201cPraise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,\u201d\u2014listen to this\u2014\u201cwho comforts us in all our troubles\u201d\u2014so that is in the valley\u2014\u201cso that\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a purpose statement; it isn\u2019t just so He can comfort us; there is a <em>reason<\/em>\u2014\u201cso that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when you are in that moment\u2014in fact, in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book, we called them\/the season you are talking about\u2014\u201cthe shadow of the valley of death.\u201d [Laughter] You know, when you have little toddlers in the home, and you are <em>exhausted<\/em>, and you\u2019re wife is coming home late or your husband\u2019s coming home late; and you\u2019re so mad because they are not there to be a partner with you. It\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> season; but the thing we never understood is God will actually use that valley as the vehicle in your life to minister to others. Here we are; we are sitting in this studio. There are families in that valley right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll I can say\u2014and we already said this earlier\u2014here is my application: \u201cGet on your knees together, tonight, as a couple.\u201d Ann said to me three months ago, \u201cWe should start praying again on our knees at the foot of our bed.\u201d We started doing it. I would love to tell you, right now, we are doing it every night; we\u2019re not. But I tell you, the other night\u2014you know, we\u2019re in bed\u2014and I jumped out of bed. I went down to my knees, and she literally goes, \u201cAre you on your knees! Oh, my goodness!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was dark; I couldn\u2019t see him. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She <em>runs<\/em> down there. It reminded me how much your partner wants to pray with you. I mean, she literally jumps out of bed. We pray for 30 seconds\/a minute. It\u2019s not like this big thing; but it\u2019s like a bonding moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014vertically\u2014but it\u2019s horizontal, because you are doing it together. I think <em>that<\/em> helps you get through the valleys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there is anything I can say to a couple, listening right now: \u201cGet on your knees together tonight. Maybe, start a practice.\u201d If your spouse won\u2019t do it, <em>you<\/em> do it;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because you can pray for you, and you can pray for God\u2019s comfort to meet you in this marriage. I bet you God\u2019s going to meet you, and then actually use you to help others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we go through challenging seasons in our marriage, it really reveals where our hope is\/where our source of strength is. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, that: \u201cWhen the rains come and the storms blow, it will be evident whether your house is built on sand or built on a rock.\u201d It\u2019s so important for us to make sure that we are building our relationship on the rock of God\u2019s Word\/on our relationship with Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friends, Jeff and Sarah Walton, have written a book called <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>, biblical encouragement for facing challenges in marriage. We\u2019ve got copies of their book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. For those of you who are in the midst of a storm, or want to prepare for the storm, you can get a copy of the book. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to request your copy. Again, the number is 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, here at FamilyLife, everything we do is to help get you ready for the challenging moments you are going to face in marriage. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want your marriage\/your family to stand strong in the storms. We trust that these daily times together\u2014as you tune into <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, as you listen to the podcast, as you take advantage of resources we offer, or attend the events that we host\u2014we trust that all of these efforts are helping you to build your marriage\/your relationship on a solid foundation\/on a biblical foundation. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family to effectively develop godly marriages and families that can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese last few weeks of 2021 are significant for our ministry. Hearing from listeners over the next few weeks will determine for us just how aggressively we are able to move forward in the new year to continue providing this daily radio program, the resources you depend on, the events that you look forward to. The real issue is: \u201cHow many marriages and families will be impacted in the year ahead?\u201d A lot of that comes down to what we hear from listeners over the next few weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re asking <em>all<\/em> of you to consider making a generous yearend contribution\u2014be as generous as you can be\u2014the reason for that is because there is a matching-gift fund that has been made available to us: $1.5 million in matching funds that are available. We need to hear from listeners, like you, to take advantage of those matching funds. Whatever donation you make, we\u2019ll receive an equal amount from the matching-gift fund; your donation will be effectively <em>doubled<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. When you do, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Dane Ortlund\u2019s new book called <em>In the Lord I Take Refuge<\/em>, 150 devotions from the book of Psalms. It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a yearend donation, and we look forward to hearing from you. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd be sure to join us tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear from David and Meg Robbins about when they received the news that one of their children would be born with special needs, and we\u2019ll hear about how that impacted their relationship with one another. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a CruMinistry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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