{"id":307309,"date":"2021-11-27T08:02:30","date_gmt":"2021-11-27T13:02:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/after-baby\/"},"modified":"2021-11-27T08:02:30","modified_gmt":"2021-11-27T13:02:30","slug":"after-baby","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/after-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"After Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Courtney Reissig talks about the emotional aftermath of her high-risk labor and delivery story. She shares about the faithfulness of God and how she walked the difficult road of recovery.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Courtney Reissig talks about the emotional aftermath of her high-risk labor and delivery story. She shares about the faithfulness of God and how she walked the difficult road of recovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2021-11-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:07","filesize":"30.32M","filesize_raw":"31788540","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860,2838,2881],"tags":[5194,7012,4299],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3418],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-307309","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-baby","tag-birth","tag-faith","cwp_profile-courtney-reissig","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307309\/after-baby","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307309\/after-baby","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"xJU7mco0x0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/after-baby\/\">After Baby<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/after-baby\/embed\/#?secret=xJU7mco0x0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;After Baby&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"xJU7mco0x0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2021-11-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2021-11-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When Courtney Reissig delivered her fourth son, baby Ben, the dramatic and life-threatening experience of that delivery echoed through their family for months after they came home from the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I know people who\u2014what happened to me\u2014happened to them, and their baby <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> live. I felt survivor\u2019s guilt: \u201cI should be happy. I lived; my baby lived. We look like one big, happy family on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Most days, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney Reissig shares about her experience with post-partum depression <em>and<\/em> post-traumatic stress disorder on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em> I\u2019m Michelle Hill. A couple of weeks ago, we heard from Courtney Reissig. She shared the near-death experience that she had when she was giving birth to her fourth son, baby Ben. Today, we\u2019re going to talk about post-traumatic stress and also post-partum depression. If you didn\u2019t hear the story a couple of weeks ago, let me catch you up a little bit. Here\u2019s Courtney.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney: <\/strong>The doctor on call came in. The contractions kept getting worse; she was like, \u201cI think you\u2019re having a placenta abruption.\u201d A placenta abruption: if it\u2019s a full abruption, means certain death for the baby within five minutes and ten minutes for the mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other complexity is that we have three other children\u2014you [Michelle] were there; you helped me take care of them\u2014they went from having me every day to three weeks of having a steady stream of different people every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I remember they were listless little boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> They were. They would cry; they didn\u2019t understand. My dad decided to go get them and drive them back to Florida, where my parents live. It took a lot of the frightening nature of what was happening to them out of the equation, but it was the worst experience of my life [emotion in voice]: \u201cWhat if they leave, and I die?\u201d \u201cWhat if I die, and they don\u2019t see me again; and I don\u2019t get to say goodbye to them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to be monitored three times a day. They were about to take me off; my nurse and I looked at the monitor; and I said, \u201cDid his heartrate just go down with that contraction?\u201d The doctor was like, \u201cThis is the last straw. It\u2019s time to deliver this baby.\u201d They start the procedure. It takes awhile, because I have some other issues from previous C-section. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s born, screaming. You can hear them be like: \u201cThis is a miracle baby,\u201d \u201cThis is a miracle baby. Placenta abruptions don\u2019t stop for three weeks.\u201d We feel God was like, \u201cI\u2019m going to stop this placenta abrupt for a little bit, and stop it; so you\u2019ll feel the weight of your mortality and your son\u2019s mortality. But I\u2019m not going to let you die today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow; what an incredible story, just sort of sends chills up your spine. You can hear the <em>whole<\/em> story on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, thanks for joining us, again, today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney Reissig is wife to Daniel. She\u2019s a mom to Luke, Zach, Seth, and baby Ben. She\u2019s a writer and blogger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, two weeks ago, you shared the miraculous story of baby Ben. I want to go back to that moment\u2014or that first month after you brought him home from the hospital\u2014what was that like for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> My first thought was: \u201cIt\u2019s very loud in my house.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s true! You had spent almost a month in the hospital. It was quiet except for the nurses and doctors coming in every so often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I thought I would come home, and we would have a normal process of bringing a baby home. We would be tired, but it would be like every other time we brought a baby home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I was not banking on was that I didn\u2019t know how to live in normal anymore. I didn\u2019t know how to function when death was not always on the table. So when we had any amount of normalcy, I was afraid something horrible was around the corner. Because that\u2019s what happened: everything was great, and then our whole life fell apart. I felt like I couldn\u2019t trust the world anymore; I couldn\u2019t trust normalcy anymore. I couldn\u2019t <em>enjoy<\/em> the good things life was giving me, because they were going to be ripped away from me at any moment anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve walked through that, through counseling\u2014and through talking with other people, who\u2019ve had other types of experiences, where they\u2019ve almost died or had a life-threatening incident in their family\u2014that is a fairly normative response to your whole world being shattered, with thinking, you could\u2019ve died or your child could\u2019ve died.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did this manifest for <em>you<\/em>? Were you afraid to go out of the house?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014so grocery store?\u2014driving?\u2014taking your children with you driving?\u2014whatever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes, yes; I didn\u2019t want anyone to hold Ben. I didn\u2019t want Ben to ever go anywhere without me. I kept him out of the nursery at church for six months. I didn\u2019t want him out of our room\u2014it was a vicious cycle, because he needed to be out of our room so I could sleep\u2014one of the only ways I was going to find healing was if I was going to sleep; I wasn\u2019t sleeping. That\u2019s [lack of sleeping] another post-partum depression type response as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI noticed it first when I\/we would watch something on TV that had something like someone died or someone almost died. I would be unable to function after we\u2019d see it; I wouldn\u2019t be prepared for it. Now, I know it\u2019s a trigger. I would be unprepared for what would happen if I saw that\u2014I would just watch it blindly, like I used to; we\u2019re watching a show, when the mom died from a blood clot\u2014and I just couldn\u2019t function.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomeone took my older boys one night\u2014Daniel had to work late, and someone took my older boys\u2014the process of them leaving the house felt like my chest was caving in. I just couldn\u2019t stop crying; I was uncontrollably crying, like, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to come home. This is just all going to fall apart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we had normalcy, I couldn\u2019t relax. I couldn\u2019t sleep; I couldn\u2019t relax. I couldn\u2019t calm down, because I was living in this heightened state of stress and trauma. I had to somehow figure out how to come back down. It would manifest in different ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did you get through those times, like when someone came to take care of your boys, and take them to their house for the night, so that you could sleep with just Ben? How did you cope through that night?\u2014or didn\u2019t you? What happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> It was before bedtime\/like dinner time\u2014in that moment\u2014the things that saved me last year were the Psalms and, then, a Bible study we had at our church. We studied the book of Joshua, and I never would\u2019ve thought the book of Joshua would\u2019ve been helpful. But if you study the book of Joshua, you know God\u2019s repeatedly calling them into very terrifying circumstances, and repeatedly calling them to do things that seem so far outside of what they\u2019re able to do, and things where death is on the table for them. His promise is that He\u2019ll be with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my favorite Old Testament commentators, Dale Ralph Davis, he uses the Exodus passage as well, where God tells Moses: \u201cI AM, and I am with you,\u201d\u2014that that\u2019s a promise you can take to the hospital room\u2014is that God hasn\u2019t left you. As feeble as I was, and unable as I was to read, or to pray, or anything, somehow the Lord comforted me with that\/is that: \u201cHe\u2019s here; I\u2019ve <em>no idea<\/em> what\u2019s going on here, and I have <em>no control<\/em> over how I\u2019m feeling; but He\u2019s here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s Word saved me and sustained me. I know it seems really formulaic, and like people just throw it out there, but it really did. I don\u2019t know how else I would\u2019ve survived if I didn\u2019t have God\u2019s Word reminding me that He\u2019s here. It doesn\u2019t take away the difficulty; it doesn\u2019t take away the darkness and the depression. It doesn\u2019t tell you when it\u2019s going to end. That\u2019s sometimes the <em>hardest<\/em> place to be, is: \u201cI <em>don\u2019t know<\/em> when this is going to end. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s <em>ever<\/em> going to end. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to have to constantly live in this state of \u2018death is utterly terrifying to me, and it seems very real.\u2019\u201d But God\u2019s Word did comfort me in those times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>It sounds\u2014of course, I\u2019ve never had a child; so I do not know post-partum depression or the feelings after that\u2014but this sounds extreme, almost a post-traumatic stress. Is that what you totally went through?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes; yes, it is. I\u2019ve been told that\u2019s what I have. But I\u2019ve had post-partum depression as well, so it\u2019s coupled with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014which has got to be <em>hard<\/em>; because in your mind\u2014at least, this is from me, a single girl, who has <em>never<\/em> had a child\u2014thinking, \u201cWow; you\u2019ve got a brand-new baby. They\u2019re starting to coo; they\u2019re starting to smile. <em>Cute<\/em> little kid, and sweet baby. Life should be good!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; I dealt with a lot of guilt over that. Because I felt like: \u201cI know people who\u2014what happened to me\u2014happened to them, and their baby didn\u2019t live; or their baby had long-term health problems.\u201d I felt survivor\u2019s guilt: \u201cHere I am, struggling with being afraid of dying, or being afraid of whatever happened to me, and I should be happy. That was the hardest part for me: \u201cI should be happy. I lived; my baby lived. We look like one big, happy family on Instagram. Most days, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.\u201d That\u2019s mostly how I felt, most of the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hardest part for me\u2014I was telling my husband about a month or so ago\u2014is that, when I look back on Ben\u2019s first year, I don\u2019t have warm fuzzy feelings about experiencing his first year. That was really hard for me, because he\u2019s our last baby; I\u2019m not able to have any more children. There\u2019s been a lot of having to die to what I thought going out with your last kid was going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGoing back to the survivor\u2019s guilt thing: I was really helped by a biography of Charles Spurgeon\u2019s wife, Susanna Spurgeon. She was talking about the thing that shaped Charles Spurgeon the most was this stampede in a church he was preaching at that killed <em>a lot<\/em> of people. He was preaching, or about to preach, and some young boys yelled out, \u201cFire!\u201d which caused a stampede of people to rush out the doors. He lived; but many, many people died. He <em>never<\/em>, emotionally, recovered from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hold Charles Spurgeon up as being this <em>great<\/em> lion of the faith. I\u2019ve read a number of things by him in this last year and been incredibly comforted by the fact that God <em>can<\/em> use people\u2014who deal with post-partum depression, or PTSD, or any other type of response to trauma and difficulty\u2014even in the midst of difficulty. We shouldn\u2019t be ashamed of those feelings; that\u2019s a normal human response to the <em>horrors<\/em> of living in a broken world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good insight; because just as you\u2019re sharing that, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYes!\u201d If you had been able to come home from the hospital\u2014and been like, \u201cHey! I have four beautiful boys,\u201d and life just go on perfectly\u2014then I think some people would have said, \u201cShe\u2019s never processed the fact that she almost died.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cShe\u2019s stuffing\u201d; yes. You see, all throughout the book of Psalms, as having to process <em>through<\/em> the difficulties of life. That\u2019s <em>normal<\/em> for us: we are whole beings, with emotions, and feelings, and hormones, and all kinds of things. We should feel life deeply, good and bad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You\u2019re right; we should. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, Courtney, we need to take a break. When we come back, I want to hear how others have helped you process Ben\u2019s birth and the trauma that went with it, and also how we can help others. Stick around. We\u2019ll be back in two minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. We\u2019re talking today with Courtney Reissig about the fallout of a difficult pregnancy and a life-threatening birth of her son, Ben. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, you mentioned Bible study helped you process this. In Bible studies, there\u2019s varying degrees of transparency and vulnerability. Were you open and honest with <em>everyone<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> \u2014in varying degrees; I\u2019ve been more open in recent months. But in the moment, there were a few people, who knew everything and were able to walk through that with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> These people who did walk with you, what did they do? How did they come alongside of you, and how did they help you through it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> They would periodically check in and see how I was doing. They remembered the dates\/they knew the dates of like\u2014when we went in the hospital, the day of Ben\u2019s birth\u2014things like that would be difficult. They had walked through some darkness as well, and so they sent me things that were helpful to them. But mostly, they just didn\u2019t stop checking in; that was helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the harder things for me was I didn\u2019t have the emotional\u2014I had four kids\u2014so it\u2019s not like I had all the time in the world. I didn\u2019t have the emotional capacity to go, and invest, and seek out people: \u201cI\u2019m hurting; I need help.\u201d I didn\u2019t have that emotional capacity. But they would check in with me, periodically\u2014and that helped me tremendously\u2014to, at least, know that someone knows that it\u2019s hard; and they\u2019re checking in with me. They just were <em>aware<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey kind of knew what I needed. I think that\u2019s the most helpful thing, when you\u2019re walking with anyone through any type of depression or trauma, is it\u2019s not formulaic. We so often want to say, \u201cIf you check these boxes, then you somehow\/that\u2019s how you help someone get out of depression,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not necessarily\u2014everyone is so complex, and has different needs, and different types of depression, different things that lead to that depression in different seasons of life. The most helpful thing any friend can do for someone is to know that person and to know what <em>that person<\/em> needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And it\u2019s hard,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014because <em>life<\/em> isn\u2019t a formula. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Walking with God <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> a formula.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It\u2019s different in every single person\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes; and it changes with each season of life. It\u2019s more nuanced than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So how can a friend help someone, who is going through PTSD or post-partum depression? What <em>can<\/em> a person do, other than coming alongside and [saying], \u201cI\u2019m here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> In the early days after Ben was born, one friend would come over and let me process. I needed people to be okay with the fact that I was gravitating more towards the medical professionals, who were with me, throughout it. I just wanted to go back to the hospital and talk to the nurses who knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor PTSD, I think that\u2019s helpful\u2014letting them process what happened\u2014some people need to talk about it over, and over, and over again. Letting them do that, knowing that, if they\u2019re talking about it, they need to keep processing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014and not fix it; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes. Because for me, I\u2019m like: \u201cI <em>know<\/em> the theological answer\u2014I know God is sovereign; I know that God is <em>not<\/em> against me\u2014I know all of those things.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you need to sit with the tension of: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t feel that way right now, and I just need to be okay with that,\u201d\u2014not trying to fix that; not trying to see that their processing of what is happening is a commentary on them walking away from the faith\u2014they probably aren\u2019t; they probably just need to process it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor post-partum depression, I think it\u2019s a little different. Sometimes with post-partum depression, they just need to sleep. Post-partum depression has all kinds of factors that contribute to it, and one of those is sleep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And you\u2019re like: \u201cI have a new baby. How am I supposed to get sleep?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I know; I know. One of the reasons why I weaned Ben when I did was because my counselor was like: \u201cI think you\u2019re making a good case for weaning this baby. You need to sleep more.\u201d Maybe trying even, practically, give them some margin of sleep. Hold the baby during a naptime; hold the baby, if you can\/if you have the flexibility to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe biggest thing\u2014just be there\u2014is what they need. Pray for them; talk to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> For the young\/the new young mom\u2014or the young mom, who has three others in the family or two others in the family\u2014who\u2019s struggling with post-partum or a PTSD because of something\/a traumatic birth\u2014what would you say to <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> With post-partum depression, I did not realize that I struggled with it until after my third kid. I had twins, and then I had my third kid. I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t be like me and try to fix it all on your own. Recognize that birth is a difficult thing in general; it\u2019s not easy. It\u2019s okay\u2014it\u2019s okay if you are sad; it\u2019s okay if you don\u2019t always like your baby; it\u2019s okay if you don\u2019t feel bonded to your baby\u2014it\u2019s not a commentary on you, as a mother; it\u2019s not a commentary on your worth before the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe live in a broken world in broken bodies, and <em>nothing<\/em> works like God intended it to; as believers, we have a theology that can hold that tension. We can say\u2014in the same way that people get cancer; people get post-partum depression\u2014our brain is an organ, just like every other part of our bodies; and it\u2019s susceptible to life in a fallen world. I would just say: \u201cKnow that you\u2019re not a failure.\u201d I think that\u2019s the hardest thing for women\u2014they feel like a complete failure when they aren\u2019t happy, and they feel like crawling in a hole and dying after their baby\u2019s born\u2014they feel like they should be happy; they have a baby; everyone has told them they should be happy. Everyone has told them that they\u2019re doing the best thing they could have ever done, as a woman; and here they feel like: \u201cThis is terrible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I would say is: \u201cDon\u2019t think that you\u2019re the only one.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how many women I\u2019ve talked to who were afraid to talk about it, because they felt like they are the only one. All it takes is one person, being brave and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t feel very happy about all this,\u201d to let the floodgates of other women saying it too. A lot of women in Christian circles\/especially in conservative Christian circles, don\u2019t want to talk about it. We\u2019ve made motherhood and birthing a child out to be the most fulfilling thing you could ever do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>love<\/em> being a mom; I <em>love<\/em> my kids. But I live in a broken world; and it\u2019s hard, and it doesn\u2019t always feel great. And sometimes, I just don\u2019t feel like doing it. That\u2019s not because I\u2019m failing, it\u2019s because we live in a Genesis 3 world\u2014I think, recognizing that is applying the same theology, we apply to everything else, to motherhood\u2014then, tell someone; talk to someone about it. Admit it; be brave about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to older women\/women who have had children is: \u201cBe aware. Be aware of the women, who have had a baby in your congregation or in your life, and don\u2019t let them go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014who you can come alongside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; like talk to them, whether you\u2019re a mother or not. If a woman has had a baby, [who\u2019s] in your life, talk to her about how she feels about everything. Then, let her talk; let her pour out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe she feels <em>great<\/em>; but I would say: \u201cBe attuned to the signs that maybe she\u2019s trying to put on a brave face. It\u2019s harder than she wants to let on, and she needs someone to tell her that: \u2018It\u2019s okay [to admit] that it\u2019s hard,\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s okay that you\u2019re depressed,\u2019 and \u2018It does pass. Post-partum depression does pass. It does get better.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s good to know. I\u2019m sure that\u2019s hope for a lot of women to say: \u201cOh, okay; it does\/it does get better.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t know <em>when<\/em> it will get better, because everyone has a different timetable\u201d; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What did God teach you about Himself through this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> So many things. I\u2019ve often said I\u2019d never have learned all these things about God if I hadn\u2019t endured it. Of course, I would\u2019ve <em>loved<\/em> to have learned it in a different way. The thing that has been the steadfast hope for me through all of it is that, for the most part, I did not feel like God had left me. That was <em>so encouraging<\/em> to me; is that, I really did feel, most of the time, that He was <em>right there<\/em> in the valley. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not fully out of it yet\u2014I\u2019m only 14 months in, past what had happened\u2014but I didn\u2019t feel like He had left me. That was incredibly hopeful that He is not a God who is away from us, just sitting up in heaven meeting out horrible things to us; He is a God, who is <em>present<\/em> in our suffering, and who is right there with us in the difficulty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned about His presence, which was <em>so helpful<\/em>. I learned about His goodness, even in darkness, that He\u2019s still bringing good into your life, even in the midst of incredible suffering. I learned that He is faithful to sustain. I learned that He is all-powerful when I\u2019m not. I\u2019ve had to face my limitations as a mother in incredible ways this last year-and-a-half. I learned that He loved my kids more than me, which was incredibly helpful. He will take care of us; He will take care of them, even if I <em>can\u2019t<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned to trust His absolute control over all things. If He can stop a placenta from abrupt-ing; if He can save my life and save my kid\u2019s life, how much more can I trust Him? I\u2019m studying John right now; and if He can raise Lazarus from the dead, how much more can I trust Him? He saved my life; I can trust Him. It gave me a whole new perspective on life, which is good. I just wish it would\u2019ve come a different way. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney, thank you so much for sharing with us. I know this is a very tender story; it\u2019s a very personal story. You have been writing about it; but nonetheless, it\u2019s hard to do. Thank you very much for going to that <em>hard<\/em> place with us and sharing. Thank you for doing the brave thing today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> My conversation with Courtney was really helpful for me, as a friend, because it helped <em>me<\/em> understand what she\u2019s been going through. As a friend, it\u2019s really hard to know what to do and what to say. You <em>know<\/em> that something\u2019s different, but you just don\u2019t know what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re like me, and you have a friend walking through some sort of trauma, and you don\u2019t know what to do: \u201cWhy don\u2019t you take Courtney\u2019s suggestions? Offer to sit with them. Offer to hold the baby, or offer to play with her kids while she naps. Pray for her, and don\u2019t walk away.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe you\u2019re in Courtney\u2019s shoes today. As she said, reach out, and have a few people that you can share this darkness with. Consider counseling to help process life, to get all of that trauma out, and keep going to God with your pain and your confusion. We have a link on our website to another discussion dealing with this topic with Tracy Lane and, also, counselor Ron Deal. That\u2019s at FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing up next week, I\u2019m going to chat with Shaunti Feldhahn about happiness: \u201cAre you happy?\u201d \u201cDo you know the <em>definition<\/em> of happy?\u201d\u2014maybe that\u2019s the question, or maybe that\u2019s where we need to start. Shaunti is going to share her research on happy marriages in America. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the co-founder of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, along with our president, David Robbins, and our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our jovial engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our cheerful producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our grinning mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our happy production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:33:07"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["30.32M"],"filesize_raw":["31788540"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307309.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307309.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Reissig talks about the emotional aftermath of her high-risk labor and delivery story. She shares about the faithfulness of God and how she walked the difficult road of recovery.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2021-11-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When Courtney Reissig delivered her fourth son, baby Ben, the dramatic and life-threatening experience of that delivery echoed through their family for months after they came home from the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I know people who\u2014what happened to me\u2014happened to them, and their baby <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> live. I felt survivor\u2019s guilt: \u201cI should be happy. I lived; my baby lived. We look like one big, happy family on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Most days, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney Reissig shares about her experience with post-partum depression <em>and<\/em> post-traumatic stress disorder on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em> I\u2019m Michelle Hill. A couple of weeks ago, we heard from Courtney Reissig. She shared the near-death experience that she had when she was giving birth to her fourth son, baby Ben. Today, we\u2019re going to talk about post-traumatic stress and also post-partum depression. If you didn\u2019t hear the story a couple of weeks ago, let me catch you up a little bit. Here\u2019s Courtney.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney: <\/strong>The doctor on call came in. The contractions kept getting worse; she was like, \u201cI think you\u2019re having a placenta abruption.\u201d A placenta abruption: if it\u2019s a full abruption, means certain death for the baby within five minutes and ten minutes for the mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other complexity is that we have three other children\u2014you [Michelle] were there; you helped me take care of them\u2014they went from having me every day to three weeks of having a steady stream of different people every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I remember they were listless little boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> They were. They would cry; they didn\u2019t understand. My dad decided to go get them and drive them back to Florida, where my parents live. It took a lot of the frightening nature of what was happening to them out of the equation, but it was the worst experience of my life [emotion in voice]: \u201cWhat if they leave, and I die?\u201d \u201cWhat if I die, and they don\u2019t see me again; and I don\u2019t get to say goodbye to them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to be monitored three times a day. They were about to take me off; my nurse and I looked at the monitor; and I said, \u201cDid his heartrate just go down with that contraction?\u201d The doctor was like, \u201cThis is the last straw. It\u2019s time to deliver this baby.\u201d They start the procedure. It takes awhile, because I have some other issues from previous C-section. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s born, screaming. You can hear them be like: \u201cThis is a miracle baby,\u201d \u201cThis is a miracle baby. Placenta abruptions don\u2019t stop for three weeks.\u201d We feel God was like, \u201cI\u2019m going to stop this placenta abrupt for a little bit, and stop it; so you\u2019ll feel the weight of your mortality and your son\u2019s mortality. But I\u2019m not going to let you die today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow; what an incredible story, just sort of sends chills up your spine. You can hear the <em>whole<\/em> story on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, thanks for joining us, again, today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney Reissig is wife to Daniel. She\u2019s a mom to Luke, Zach, Seth, and baby Ben. She\u2019s a writer and blogger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, two weeks ago, you shared the miraculous story of baby Ben. I want to go back to that moment\u2014or that first month after you brought him home from the hospital\u2014what was that like for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> My first thought was: \u201cIt\u2019s very loud in my house.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s true! You had spent almost a month in the hospital. It was quiet except for the nurses and doctors coming in every so often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I thought I would come home, and we would have a normal process of bringing a baby home. We would be tired, but it would be like every other time we brought a baby home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I was not banking on was that I didn\u2019t know how to live in normal anymore. I didn\u2019t know how to function when death was not always on the table. So when we had any amount of normalcy, I was afraid something horrible was around the corner. Because that\u2019s what happened: everything was great, and then our whole life fell apart. I felt like I couldn\u2019t trust the world anymore; I couldn\u2019t trust normalcy anymore. I couldn\u2019t <em>enjoy<\/em> the good things life was giving me, because they were going to be ripped away from me at any moment anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve walked through that, through counseling\u2014and through talking with other people, who\u2019ve had other types of experiences, where they\u2019ve almost died or had a life-threatening incident in their family\u2014that is a fairly normative response to your whole world being shattered, with thinking, you could\u2019ve died or your child could\u2019ve died.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did this manifest for <em>you<\/em>? Were you afraid to go out of the house?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014so grocery store?\u2014driving?\u2014taking your children with you driving?\u2014whatever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes, yes; I didn\u2019t want anyone to hold Ben. I didn\u2019t want Ben to ever go anywhere without me. I kept him out of the nursery at church for six months. I didn\u2019t want him out of our room\u2014it was a vicious cycle, because he needed to be out of our room so I could sleep\u2014one of the only ways I was going to find healing was if I was going to sleep; I wasn\u2019t sleeping. That\u2019s [lack of sleeping] another post-partum depression type response as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI noticed it first when I\/we would watch something on TV that had something like someone died or someone almost died. I would be unable to function after we\u2019d see it; I wouldn\u2019t be prepared for it. Now, I know it\u2019s a trigger. I would be unprepared for what would happen if I saw that\u2014I would just watch it blindly, like I used to; we\u2019re watching a show, when the mom died from a blood clot\u2014and I just couldn\u2019t function.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomeone took my older boys one night\u2014Daniel had to work late, and someone took my older boys\u2014the process of them leaving the house felt like my chest was caving in. I just couldn\u2019t stop crying; I was uncontrollably crying, like, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to come home. This is just all going to fall apart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we had normalcy, I couldn\u2019t relax. I couldn\u2019t sleep; I couldn\u2019t relax. I couldn\u2019t calm down, because I was living in this heightened state of stress and trauma. I had to somehow figure out how to come back down. It would manifest in different ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did you get through those times, like when someone came to take care of your boys, and take them to their house for the night, so that you could sleep with just Ben? How did you cope through that night?\u2014or didn\u2019t you? What happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> It was before bedtime\/like dinner time\u2014in that moment\u2014the things that saved me last year were the Psalms and, then, a Bible study we had at our church. We studied the book of Joshua, and I never would\u2019ve thought the book of Joshua would\u2019ve been helpful. But if you study the book of Joshua, you know God\u2019s repeatedly calling them into very terrifying circumstances, and repeatedly calling them to do things that seem so far outside of what they\u2019re able to do, and things where death is on the table for them. His promise is that He\u2019ll be with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my favorite Old Testament commentators, Dale Ralph Davis, he uses the Exodus passage as well, where God tells Moses: \u201cI AM, and I am with you,\u201d\u2014that that\u2019s a promise you can take to the hospital room\u2014is that God hasn\u2019t left you. As feeble as I was, and unable as I was to read, or to pray, or anything, somehow the Lord comforted me with that\/is that: \u201cHe\u2019s here; I\u2019ve <em>no idea<\/em> what\u2019s going on here, and I have <em>no control<\/em> over how I\u2019m feeling; but He\u2019s here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s Word saved me and sustained me. I know it seems really formulaic, and like people just throw it out there, but it really did. I don\u2019t know how else I would\u2019ve survived if I didn\u2019t have God\u2019s Word reminding me that He\u2019s here. It doesn\u2019t take away the difficulty; it doesn\u2019t take away the darkness and the depression. It doesn\u2019t tell you when it\u2019s going to end. That\u2019s sometimes the <em>hardest<\/em> place to be, is: \u201cI <em>don\u2019t know<\/em> when this is going to end. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s <em>ever<\/em> going to end. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to have to constantly live in this state of \u2018death is utterly terrifying to me, and it seems very real.\u2019\u201d But God\u2019s Word did comfort me in those times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>It sounds\u2014of course, I\u2019ve never had a child; so I do not know post-partum depression or the feelings after that\u2014but this sounds extreme, almost a post-traumatic stress. Is that what you totally went through?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes; yes, it is. I\u2019ve been told that\u2019s what I have. But I\u2019ve had post-partum depression as well, so it\u2019s coupled with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014which has got to be <em>hard<\/em>; because in your mind\u2014at least, this is from me, a single girl, who has <em>never<\/em> had a child\u2014thinking, \u201cWow; you\u2019ve got a brand-new baby. They\u2019re starting to coo; they\u2019re starting to smile. <em>Cute<\/em> little kid, and sweet baby. Life should be good!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; I dealt with a lot of guilt over that. Because I felt like: \u201cI know people who\u2014what happened to me\u2014happened to them, and their baby didn\u2019t live; or their baby had long-term health problems.\u201d I felt survivor\u2019s guilt: \u201cHere I am, struggling with being afraid of dying, or being afraid of whatever happened to me, and I should be happy. That was the hardest part for me: \u201cI should be happy. I lived; my baby lived. We look like one big, happy family on Instagram. Most days, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.\u201d That\u2019s mostly how I felt, most of the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hardest part for me\u2014I was telling my husband about a month or so ago\u2014is that, when I look back on Ben\u2019s first year, I don\u2019t have warm fuzzy feelings about experiencing his first year. That was really hard for me, because he\u2019s our last baby; I\u2019m not able to have any more children. There\u2019s been a lot of having to die to what I thought going out with your last kid was going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGoing back to the survivor\u2019s guilt thing: I was really helped by a biography of Charles Spurgeon\u2019s wife, Susanna Spurgeon. She was talking about the thing that shaped Charles Spurgeon the most was this stampede in a church he was preaching at that killed <em>a lot<\/em> of people. He was preaching, or about to preach, and some young boys yelled out, \u201cFire!\u201d which caused a stampede of people to rush out the doors. He lived; but many, many people died. He <em>never<\/em>, emotionally, recovered from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hold Charles Spurgeon up as being this <em>great<\/em> lion of the faith. I\u2019ve read a number of things by him in this last year and been incredibly comforted by the fact that God <em>can<\/em> use people\u2014who deal with post-partum depression, or PTSD, or any other type of response to trauma and difficulty\u2014even in the midst of difficulty. We shouldn\u2019t be ashamed of those feelings; that\u2019s a normal human response to the <em>horrors<\/em> of living in a broken world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good insight; because just as you\u2019re sharing that, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYes!\u201d If you had been able to come home from the hospital\u2014and been like, \u201cHey! I have four beautiful boys,\u201d and life just go on perfectly\u2014then I think some people would have said, \u201cShe\u2019s never processed the fact that she almost died.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cShe\u2019s stuffing\u201d; yes. You see, all throughout the book of Psalms, as having to process <em>through<\/em> the difficulties of life. That\u2019s <em>normal<\/em> for us: we are whole beings, with emotions, and feelings, and hormones, and all kinds of things. We should feel life deeply, good and bad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You\u2019re right; we should. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, Courtney, we need to take a break. When we come back, I want to hear how others have helped you process Ben\u2019s birth and the trauma that went with it, and also how we can help others. Stick around. We\u2019ll be back in two minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. We\u2019re talking today with Courtney Reissig about the fallout of a difficult pregnancy and a life-threatening birth of her son, Ben. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourtney, you mentioned Bible study helped you process this. In Bible studies, there\u2019s varying degrees of transparency and vulnerability. Were you open and honest with <em>everyone<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> \u2014in varying degrees; I\u2019ve been more open in recent months. But in the moment, there were a few people, who knew everything and were able to walk through that with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> These people who did walk with you, what did they do? How did they come alongside of you, and how did they help you through it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> They would periodically check in and see how I was doing. They remembered the dates\/they knew the dates of like\u2014when we went in the hospital, the day of Ben\u2019s birth\u2014things like that would be difficult. They had walked through some darkness as well, and so they sent me things that were helpful to them. But mostly, they just didn\u2019t stop checking in; that was helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the harder things for me was I didn\u2019t have the emotional\u2014I had four kids\u2014so it\u2019s not like I had all the time in the world. I didn\u2019t have the emotional capacity to go, and invest, and seek out people: \u201cI\u2019m hurting; I need help.\u201d I didn\u2019t have that emotional capacity. But they would check in with me, periodically\u2014and that helped me tremendously\u2014to, at least, know that someone knows that it\u2019s hard; and they\u2019re checking in with me. They just were <em>aware<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey kind of knew what I needed. I think that\u2019s the most helpful thing, when you\u2019re walking with anyone through any type of depression or trauma, is it\u2019s not formulaic. We so often want to say, \u201cIf you check these boxes, then you somehow\/that\u2019s how you help someone get out of depression,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not necessarily\u2014everyone is so complex, and has different needs, and different types of depression, different things that lead to that depression in different seasons of life. The most helpful thing any friend can do for someone is to know that person and to know what <em>that person<\/em> needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And it\u2019s hard,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014because <em>life<\/em> isn\u2019t a formula. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Walking with God <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> a formula.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It\u2019s different in every single person\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes; and it changes with each season of life. It\u2019s more nuanced than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So how can a friend help someone, who is going through PTSD or post-partum depression? What <em>can<\/em> a person do, other than coming alongside and [saying], \u201cI\u2019m here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> In the early days after Ben was born, one friend would come over and let me process. I needed people to be okay with the fact that I was gravitating more towards the medical professionals, who were with me, throughout it. I just wanted to go back to the hospital and talk to the nurses who knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor PTSD, I think that\u2019s helpful\u2014letting them process what happened\u2014some people need to talk about it over, and over, and over again. Letting them do that, knowing that, if they\u2019re talking about it, they need to keep processing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014and not fix it; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes, yes. Because for me, I\u2019m like: \u201cI <em>know<\/em> the theological answer\u2014I know God is sovereign; I know that God is <em>not<\/em> against me\u2014I know all of those things.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you need to sit with the tension of: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t feel that way right now, and I just need to be okay with that,\u201d\u2014not trying to fix that; not trying to see that their processing of what is happening is a commentary on them walking away from the faith\u2014they probably aren\u2019t; they probably just need to process it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor post-partum depression, I think it\u2019s a little different. Sometimes with post-partum depression, they just need to sleep. Post-partum depression has all kinds of factors that contribute to it, and one of those is sleep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And you\u2019re like: \u201cI have a new baby. How am I supposed to get sleep?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> I know; I know. One of the reasons why I weaned Ben when I did was because my counselor was like: \u201cI think you\u2019re making a good case for weaning this baby. You need to sleep more.\u201d Maybe trying even, practically, give them some margin of sleep. Hold the baby during a naptime; hold the baby, if you can\/if you have the flexibility to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe biggest thing\u2014just be there\u2014is what they need. Pray for them; talk to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> For the young\/the new young mom\u2014or the young mom, who has three others in the family or two others in the family\u2014who\u2019s struggling with post-partum or a PTSD because of something\/a traumatic birth\u2014what would you say to <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> With post-partum depression, I did not realize that I struggled with it until after my third kid. I had twins, and then I had my third kid. I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t be like me and try to fix it all on your own. Recognize that birth is a difficult thing in general; it\u2019s not easy. It\u2019s okay\u2014it\u2019s okay if you are sad; it\u2019s okay if you don\u2019t always like your baby; it\u2019s okay if you don\u2019t feel bonded to your baby\u2014it\u2019s not a commentary on you, as a mother; it\u2019s not a commentary on your worth before the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe live in a broken world in broken bodies, and <em>nothing<\/em> works like God intended it to; as believers, we have a theology that can hold that tension. We can say\u2014in the same way that people get cancer; people get post-partum depression\u2014our brain is an organ, just like every other part of our bodies; and it\u2019s susceptible to life in a fallen world. I would just say: \u201cKnow that you\u2019re not a failure.\u201d I think that\u2019s the hardest thing for women\u2014they feel like a complete failure when they aren\u2019t happy, and they feel like crawling in a hole and dying after their baby\u2019s born\u2014they feel like they should be happy; they have a baby; everyone has told them they should be happy. Everyone has told them that they\u2019re doing the best thing they could have ever done, as a woman; and here they feel like: \u201cThis is terrible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I would say is: \u201cDon\u2019t think that you\u2019re the only one.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how many women I\u2019ve talked to who were afraid to talk about it, because they felt like they are the only one. All it takes is one person, being brave and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t feel very happy about all this,\u201d to let the floodgates of other women saying it too. A lot of women in Christian circles\/especially in conservative Christian circles, don\u2019t want to talk about it. We\u2019ve made motherhood and birthing a child out to be the most fulfilling thing you could ever do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>love<\/em> being a mom; I <em>love<\/em> my kids. But I live in a broken world; and it\u2019s hard, and it doesn\u2019t always feel great. And sometimes, I just don\u2019t feel like doing it. That\u2019s not because I\u2019m failing, it\u2019s because we live in a Genesis 3 world\u2014I think, recognizing that is applying the same theology, we apply to everything else, to motherhood\u2014then, tell someone; talk to someone about it. Admit it; be brave about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to older women\/women who have had children is: \u201cBe aware. Be aware of the women, who have had a baby in your congregation or in your life, and don\u2019t let them go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014who you can come alongside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Yes; like talk to them, whether you\u2019re a mother or not. If a woman has had a baby, [who\u2019s] in your life, talk to her about how she feels about everything. Then, let her talk; let her pour out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe she feels <em>great<\/em>; but I would say: \u201cBe attuned to the signs that maybe she\u2019s trying to put on a brave face. It\u2019s harder than she wants to let on, and she needs someone to tell her that: \u2018It\u2019s okay [to admit] that it\u2019s hard,\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s okay that you\u2019re depressed,\u2019 and \u2018It does pass. Post-partum depression does pass. It does get better.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s good to know. I\u2019m sure that\u2019s hope for a lot of women to say: \u201cOh, okay; it does\/it does get better.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t know <em>when<\/em> it will get better, because everyone has a different timetable\u201d; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What did God teach you about Himself through this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> So many things. I\u2019ve often said I\u2019d never have learned all these things about God if I hadn\u2019t endured it. Of course, I would\u2019ve <em>loved<\/em> to have learned it in a different way. The thing that has been the steadfast hope for me through all of it is that, for the most part, I did not feel like God had left me. That was <em>so encouraging<\/em> to me; is that, I really did feel, most of the time, that He was <em>right there<\/em> in the valley. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not fully out of it yet\u2014I\u2019m only 14 months in, past what had happened\u2014but I didn\u2019t feel like He had left me. That was incredibly hopeful that He is not a God who is away from us, just sitting up in heaven meeting out horrible things to us; He is a God, who is <em>present<\/em> in our suffering, and who is right there with us in the difficulty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned about His presence, which was <em>so helpful<\/em>. I learned about His goodness, even in darkness, that He\u2019s still bringing good into your life, even in the midst of incredible suffering. I learned that He is faithful to sustain. I learned that He is all-powerful when I\u2019m not. I\u2019ve had to face my limitations as a mother in incredible ways this last year-and-a-half. I learned that He loved my kids more than me, which was incredibly helpful. He will take care of us; He will take care of them, even if I <em>can\u2019t<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned to trust His absolute control over all things. If He can stop a placenta from abrupt-ing; if He can save my life and save my kid\u2019s life, how much more can I trust Him? I\u2019m studying John right now; and if He can raise Lazarus from the dead, how much more can I trust Him? He saved my life; I can trust Him. It gave me a whole new perspective on life, which is good. I just wish it would\u2019ve come a different way. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Courtney, thank you so much for sharing with us. I know this is a very tender story; it\u2019s a very personal story. You have been writing about it; but nonetheless, it\u2019s hard to do. Thank you very much for going to that <em>hard<\/em> place with us and sharing. Thank you for doing the brave thing today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Courtney:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> My conversation with Courtney was really helpful for me, as a friend, because it helped <em>me<\/em> understand what she\u2019s been going through. As a friend, it\u2019s really hard to know what to do and what to say. You <em>know<\/em> that something\u2019s different, but you just don\u2019t know what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re like me, and you have a friend walking through some sort of trauma, and you don\u2019t know what to do: \u201cWhy don\u2019t you take Courtney\u2019s suggestions? Offer to sit with them. Offer to hold the baby, or offer to play with her kids while she naps. Pray for her, and don\u2019t walk away.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe you\u2019re in Courtney\u2019s shoes today. As she said, reach out, and have a few people that you can share this darkness with. Consider counseling to help process life, to get all of that trauma out, and keep going to God with your pain and your confusion. We have a link on our website to another discussion dealing with this topic with Tracy Lane and, also, counselor Ron Deal. That\u2019s at FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing up next week, I\u2019m going to chat with Shaunti Feldhahn about happiness: \u201cAre you happy?\u201d \u201cDo you know the <em>definition<\/em> of happy?\u201d\u2014maybe that\u2019s the question, or maybe that\u2019s where we need to start. Shaunti is going to share her research on happy marriages in America. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the co-founder of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, along with our president, David Robbins, and our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our jovial engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our cheerful producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our grinning mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our happy production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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