{"id":307294,"date":"2021-11-12T08:02:07","date_gmt":"2021-11-12T13:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/learning-about-my-real-dad\/"},"modified":"2021-11-12T08:02:07","modified_gmt":"2021-11-12T13:02:07","slug":"learning-about-my-real-dad","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-about-my-real-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning About My Real Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We can&#8217;t always see what God is doing. Ray McKelvy tells of his walk with God, meeting his wife, and his estranged dad being invited back into his life. He learns that his real story was much more than he thought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-12.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:32:23","filesize":"29.65M","filesize_raw":"31087080","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2830,2894],"tags":[4292,4033,4798,2209],"podcast_series":[8488],"cwp_profile":[],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307294","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-of-divorce","category-stepfamily-living","tag-children","tag-divorce","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-whos-my-daddy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307294\/learning-about-my-real-dad","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307294\/learning-about-my-real-dad","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ETcNcCFVQ2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-about-my-real-dad\/\">Learning About My Real Dad<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-about-my-real-dad\/embed\/#?secret=ETcNcCFVQ2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Learning About My Real Dad&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ETcNcCFVQ2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-12.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-12.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know one of the best things that ever happened with my relationship with my dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re it! It\u2019s you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you\u2019re sitting right here; and when you came into our family, you <em>forced<\/em>\u2014I mean with a will\/the Ann Wilson will\u2014you <em>forced<\/em> my dad and I into a relationship that we didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You forced my dad and I into a relationship that we didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because I saw the brokenness, and I was sad for you. I could tell that your dad was sad, too; so I was asking some questions that made you very uncomfortable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Questions my dad and I never ever talked about. I was afraid to go there, and you just brought it up. I was shocked that he <em>wanted<\/em> to talk about these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I tell you what: we get to talk to Ron Deal today about a lot of things; but one of them is the critical relationship with our dad. So welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you for having me back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Glad to have you here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs many of you know, Ron leads our blended family ministry at FamilyLife and has a blended family podcast called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014and sat down with some friends of ours recently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and talked with them about their marriage, and their relationship, <em>and<\/em> a their relationship with their dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Ray and Robyn McKelvy are a pastoral couple. They work in a local church in Nashville, and they are <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> speakers and have a lot of great influence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat down with them, sometime back, for our <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast and just wanted to hear Ray\u2019s journey, growing up in a blended family. It was <em>amazing<\/em> what came out. We already heard in the previous program lots of details\/family secrets. If you didn\u2019t hear Day One, we want to encourage you to do that. Today, we are picking up the story where Robyn really comes into his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And just like you guys, she helped push him a little bit. Don\u2019t spouses sometimes help us by pushing us in directions? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014even when we don\u2019t want it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s it; it\u2019s a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It is a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would have <em>never<\/em> gotten to where I got with my dad without Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That is fantastic. You know, we say all the time around here: \u201cOur mates are a gift from God.\u201d Sometimes, the gift includes making us move in directions we don\u2019t necessarily want to move. Sometimes, that\u2019s the Holy Spirit working through our spouse; and that certainly happened in Ray\u2019s story. I think people are going to <em>love<\/em> hearing this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> So from the time you were 13, and your mom and stepdad divorced, you lived partial with your aunt and uncle; some of your siblings were with mom; somebody was with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014our dad, Raymond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014that you later found out was not your biological dad; but yet, nevertheless, played the role of dad and was significant in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were a number of years there, where your mom was still single; is that right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right; so after she and my stepdad were divorced, she never married again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So from [when I was] 14 on, she was a single mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And what about Charles? Did the relationship with him kind of materialize, because of you guys getting married and Robyn insisting you learn more about him? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes; this lady sitting to my left was very insistent and persistent. We were engaged, making this list of who is invited to the wedding. She asked me if I wanted to invite him; and I remember saying, \u201cNot really.\u201d I remember Robyn just asking me\u2014she says, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to meet your biological father?\u201d\u2014I said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo fast forward, we were married two years; and my mom came to live with us. I am preparing to go to seminary by this time. I walked in on a conversation with Robyn and my mom; do you remember that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014in the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes, in the kitchen. What did you\/you tell what you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> I remember asking about Charles Bush, and I remember her saying she had no idea. She was really kind of mean about it\u2014\u201cI have no idea where he is; and when I find out where he is, then I will let you know,\u201d\u2014or something like that. I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay; cool! [Laughter] I just want to know if you know anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA couple of weeks later, it was going to be our last week in Kansas City\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, no; I\u2019ve got to tell this story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember <em>overhearing<\/em> her conversation. I said, \u201cRobyn, why\/just leave it alone. Why are you asking?\u201d She said, \u201cI just feel like you need to know your dad.\u201d I said, \u201cI am 28 years old right now; I don\u2019t feel a need to know him. We\u2019ve got our own family now.\u201d She said, \u201cI just feel like you need to know him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not going to go looking for him. He\u2019s going to have to come to my doorstep.\u201d Robyn said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to pray that he does.\u201d She began to pray; this was around October or November of that year. She prayed November, December, January, February, March, April, May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, May was the month we were going to move to Texas so that I could go to seminary. In fact, it was the last weekend in May; it was Memorial Day weekend. My mother came to us; and she said, \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to meet with some friends this Saturday. We\u2019re going to do a picnic\/have a party. Don\u2019t wait up for me, but I will go to church with you guys tomorrow\u201d; because it was our <em>last<\/em> Sunday at our church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014and Ray was preaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes, I was the youth pastor, getting ready to preach a farewell message to go to seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, that Sunday morning, I got up early; I left; went to church. I was in my office; the phone rings, and it\u2019s Robyn. She said, \u201cYou\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> guess what happened.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat happened?!\u201d She said, \u201cYour mom came in our bedroom this morning and threw a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014a matchbook\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cmatchbook on the bed; and it has Charles Bush on it, and his phone number and address.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> The man lived like four blocks away from us\u2014[Laughter]\u2014four blocks! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh my goodness! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> She says, \u201cYour mom wants you to <em>call<\/em> him and invite him to church.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, I will.\u201d Robyn said, \u201cHere is the number\u201d; and I pretended to write the number down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I want to go inside that; why did you pretend? You didn\u2019t want to contact him <em>because<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m preaching my last sermon at a church, where I <em>loved<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, not the ripe climate to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes! I\u2019m not going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014reconcile and try to figure out a relationship with your dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I had already said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to know him; I\u2019ve got my own family. We\u2019re going to have our third child. I\u2019m going to seminary; I\u2019m going to be a pastor,\u201d\u2014or whatever\u2014I didn\u2019t know what I was going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And we were moving the end of that week. This was Sunday; we were leaving on Friday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Got it; time is of the essence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes! So I didn\u2019t call him; but sure enough, my mom came to church. She said, \u201cDid you hear what happened?!\u201d I was like, \u201cYes.\u201d [Laughter] She said, \u201cRay, it was the strangest thing.\u201d She said, \u201cI showed up at this party, and I\u2019m seeing all these old friends.\u201d She said, \u201cRight in the middle of it, he <em>walks<\/em> through the door.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Huh? Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> She said, \u201cThe first thing he said to me was: \u2018I want to meet him.\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cHe wants to meet you too.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s a lie\u201d; it was just not true. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cDid you call him?\u201d I said, \u201cNo.\u201d She said, \u201cRay, just give him a call this afternoon. Invite him over or invite him tonight,\u201d\u2014because we were going to have a special Sunday night; they were sending us off on Sunday night as well\u2014she said, \u201cInvite him Sunday night.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, Sunday night, I didn\u2019t call him. My mom, obviously, knew that I didn\u2019t. So now, it\u2019s Monday morning. It\u2019s Memorial Day. We are packing, and I look out the window. I see this man getting out of my mom\u2019s car. I go, \u201cOh, she went and got Charles Bush.\u201d I remember saying, \u201cHe\u2019s going to have to come to my doorstep.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And here it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Here it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is going to make me cry again. [Emotion in voice] I had <em>no<\/em> idea what to say; I had <em>so many<\/em> things running through my mind. I\u2019m 29 years old by this time. He comes to the door; I open it. The first thing that comes to my mind is\/I say, \u201cI know who you are.\u201d He said, \u201cWho am I?\u201d I said, \u201cYou\u2019re my dad.\u201d [Emotion in voice] Tears flowed, and he started crying as well. We grabbed each other\u2019s hands and just kind of stood there. I remember going to the couch\u2014Rob, I don\u2019t know where you were\u2014I think you were still in the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014hiding, probably. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember us sitting on the couch; and I, in a matter of\u2014I want to say \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes\u2014I knew more about my life than I knew in 29 years; because he filled in some gaps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ray:<\/strong> He had shared with me how my mom wanted them to get married. She was 16; he was 18. But he said, \u201cRay, I couldn\u2019t bring you into my life.\u201d He said, \u201cI was an alcoholic.\u201d He said, \u201cI used to party with my own mother\u201d; he said, \u201cShe would put beer in my bottle to put me to bed at night.\u201d He said, \u201cI have never known a day without drinking.\u201d He said, \u201cI didn\u2019t want to bring you into that situation; so I told your mom, \u2018No.\u2019 She said, in so many uncertain terms, \u2018I don\u2019t ever want to see you again.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom and my dad, Raymond, who were neighbors\u2014the McKelvys and the Harrisons were neighbors and friends\u2014my dad, Raymond, loved my mom; he said, \u201cI\u2019ll marry you\u201d; and they kept the secret. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you are listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014where boy, oh boy\u2014as we listen to Ray\u2019s story, man, you find out information he <em>never<\/em> knew. That reality changes life. I mean, it\u2019s like: \u201cI thought I was this. I\u2019ve now discovered it isn\u2019t; and my reality now is totally changed, because of that information\u201d; right, Ron? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; you know, here is something about human nature\u2014we all do this\u2014in the absence of information, we will fill in the gaps\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and make up a story that makes sense to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, he had poor information. And in a heartbeat, he discovers, \u201cMy dad cared about me so much. He actually thought it was better for me to not be near him.\u201d Now, we can have a conversation around that line of thinking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014but the meaning there is: \u201cYou were loved.\u201d Ray didn\u2019t know that! I mean, that changes <em>everything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014<em>everything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> How many times do we do this with God? How many times do we just go: \u201cOh, I know what God thinks; I know what He feels about me\u201d? And we just haven\u2019t really considered <em>all<\/em> the right information; and when we hear it, it\u2019s like it can change everything in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I tell you\u2014I had an experience about my dad, which was 30 years of my life thinking the worst thing that ever happened was my dad left\u2014that\u2019s a long story; but the short of it is it might have been one of the best things that ever happened, because God was able to raise me in a different way; and it was a <em>gift<\/em>. That information changed my life! It\u2019s like, \u201cOh my goodness! I can see God differently; I can see my dad differently. I can see my family differently,\u201d\u2014<em>exactly<\/em> what we have learned from Ray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to know:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat happened next with Ray?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly. Now, let me just remind our listeners that, when I started my conversation with Ray, I asked him to tell the story from a child\u2019s point of view. Well, I\u2019m about to turn the corner and ask him to think about it now as an adult\/as Ray understands it now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> As the adult man that you are today, looking back, where was God the Father in all of this journey for you when you are having experiences with earthly fathers? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I knew you were leading up to this question. That part of my story is so <em>incredibly glorious<\/em>. I did not grow up going to church very often. I remember memorizing the Lord\u2019s Prayer when my parents were\/around that time of getting divorced. I didn\u2019t know where it was; I had to look in the index and just ask my grandmother if I could borrow her Bible. I just had this wanting to know God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember that afternoon memorizing the Lord\u2019s Prayer. I also remember initiating a time to start going to church when I was 13. This is when my mom and stepdad were together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a sense, God was drawing me right at the time when I found out about my biological father, right around that same time when my parents were getting a divorce or my mom and stepdad were having their rocky relationship. I entered ninth grade; I was 14, so it\u2019s all about the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Fourteen years old: I end up at one of the worst high schools in Kansas City; but God was at that high school. He was waiting in the form of my drama teacher. [Emotion in voice] It just makes me weep when I think about it. My drama teacher was a crazy Jesus-loving person. [Laughter] And she was bold about: she talked about Him; she would <em>pray<\/em> before class started. We were like, \u201cYou can\u2019t do that! You can\u2019t pray! This is public school.\u201d She would go, \u201cHoney, Jesus is my boss.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe started a Bible club at our school. I remember she invited me to this Bible club. I attended that Bible club; gave my life to Christ;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014began to go to another church, the church that she attended; was mentored by the pastor of the church. He was just a great example. Was he flawed?\u2014yes; but he was a great example of a man, who was <em>faithful<\/em> to his wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe saw something in me, so he had the church pay for me to have piano lessons. He saw something in me, and I began to\u2014along with my teacher that led me to Christ\u2014I started to leading worship at our church, went to Bible college, graduated from Bible college, came back, became the youth pastor and the worship pastor, met my wife through those circumstances; and the rest is history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> But it started with a lady, who was unashamed for Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; I got chills thinking about God pursuing you in what would end up being some of the biggest crisis moments of your life\u2014some of the\u2014the age where you were the most vulnerable in so many ways. I know we can\u2019t always see what God is doing; we just can\u2019t. Sometimes, it takes years and years; then we look back, and we go, \u201cMan, I can connect the dots.\u201d But it is pretty clear that He was there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Ron, I will tell you this: had God not intervened, right at that moment, I would be a black statistic, <em>because<\/em> even though I had only been a Christian maybe four months, I had a new relationship. I knew that those trials\/I knew, even by that time, how trials would create strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy drama teacher sent me on this path of Scripture memory. I had over 50 verses memorized in one weekend, but I was just immersed in the Word of God. I was able\u2014even through those breakups; even when my mom left, and we were separated\u2014I remember sending her tracks with the gospel being a part of it. I remember <em>praying<\/em> for her to come to know Christ, which she did later. I remember praying for family members coming to know Christ. So right at that pivotal moment, Christ stepped in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back, and I go, \u201cGod, You fathered me; You parented me in such a loving way.\u201d I would not be the man I am today if that had not happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014where, boy, oh boy\u2014what a conversation Ron Deal had with Ray McKelvy\/Ray and Robyn both. Give us some wisdom, Mr. Counselor, over there of what we\u2019ve heard today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know, we entitled that podcast: \u201cGrowing Up in a Blender.\u201d It\u2019s a series that we do, from time to time, where we interview people about their childhood experience; but then the subtitle was: \u201cWho Is My Daddy?\u201dThat really kind of captures Ray\u2019s journey there: \u201c Well, who is my daddy?\u201d I mean, that is a question we all have to ask\u2014not just my earthly father, or father figures, or stepfather, or the different people who enter into our life\u2014but \u201cWho is my daddy?\u201d Ultimately, of course, it is God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at how God pursued Ray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> story of God\u2019s pursuit, and that is a mirror for all of us. Your story may not be anything like Ray\u2019s; but God is still pursuing you\u2014always has, always will\u2014with a Father\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> God is a good Father; He is a pursuing Father. He was always there, and that means that anyone of us, who is in Christ, is a beloved child of God. I walk with confidence\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014even though my relationship with my earthly father may still be broken\u2014that\u2019s not my identity\u2014my identity goes vertical. Ray revealed that to us in a beautiful way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The thing I was thinking too, guys, was I love the idea of telling our stories. Even asking, \u201cDo my kids know my story?\u201d because there is a lot of healing that comes out of that\u2014even for our kids knowing where we\u2019ve come from, where God is taking us\u2014is always an important part of our journey and <em>their<\/em> journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know, if there is any shame in your story, saying it out loud is one of the ways we heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We get released. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> We do. It\u2019s\/the Bible calls it confession; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> But we just say, \u201cIt\u2019s telling our story.\u201d It can be a healing moment to share your story with somebody you trust who will handle it well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Every time you are with us, that is sort of what happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It does! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Thanks for being with us, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners to listen to <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> on wherever you listen to podcasts, or FamilyLife.com, or our FamilyLife app. All I know\u2014and I was on one of those\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You were; our very first \u201cGrowing Up Blended\u201d in this series was your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; where you put me on the couch, and you had me <em>confess<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Episode Number Two: go listen to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know some of you subscribe to Ron Deal\u2019s podcast, <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. It is available on the FamilyLife app, or you\u2019ll find it wherever you get podcasts. If you want to look for Episode Two, where Ron talks with Dave Wilson about growing up blended, or if you want to subscribe to the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014there is a link there\u2014or go wherever you get podcasts and look for <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Ron has just completed a new book called <em>Preparing to Blend<\/em>. It\u2019s a pre-marriage manual for couples, who are beginning a blended marriage. If you know someone who\u00a0 is in that situation, or if that is <em>you<\/em>, consider mentioning this book to your pastor or whoever is doing your pre-marital counseling, or going through it together as a couple, so that you can be ready for the issues you will undoubtedly be facing in your blended marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about Ron\u2019s book, <em>Preparing to Blend<\/em>, on our website FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy, you can order online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are excited. This weekend, we\u2019ve got <em>hundreds<\/em> of couples, who are going to be joining us at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. We\u2019ve got getaways happening in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Destin, Florida; Estes Park, Colorado. Next weekend, people are going to be joining us in Williamsburg, Virginia; San Antonio, Texas; Cambridge, Massachusetts; Philadelphia; Portland; Corte d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Sacramento, California. There is a lot of ministry going on right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, one of the things we get excited about, here at FamilyLife, is on Monday morning, all of the real-time feedback that starts to come our way from couples, who have been with us at one of our weekend getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, I just read one this past weekend of a woman who put on her feedback, \u201cHey, I came as a roommate; but I left as a wife again,\u201d\u2014and just the transformation that can happen in a few days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we\u2019ve done over half of the <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em> getaways that we\u2019ll do this fall. We have 12 left, as you\u2019ve said, Bob. It is so fun to see our team come back and be out there again, having a full season of <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em>. It\u2019s a <em>blast<\/em> for our teams to be with volunteers and see these couples go before the Lord and make space for one another, because we know our marriages require intentional attention. That\u2019s exactly what <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> does, and it does so bringing people before the throne room of God, encouraging them to pursue Him. The transformation is so encouraging; and our teams are having a <em>blast<\/em>, getting out there, doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you can find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014find out when it is coming to a city near where you live\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; the information is available there. We hope you\u2019ll join us at an upcoming getaway or think about giving a certificate for a getaway to your kids, maybe even your grandkids, as a Christmas gift this year. There is information about that online at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. I hope you can join us on Monday. Crystal Paine is going to be here to talk about what ought to be at the center of our parenting\u2014and it\u2019s a simple word\u2014it\u2019s the word, \u201clove.\u201d What does love-centered parenting look like? We\u2019ll look at that Monday. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:32:23"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.65M"],"filesize_raw":["31087080"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307294.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307294.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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can't always see what God is doing. Ray McKelvy tells of his walk with God, meeting his wife, and his estranged dad being invited back into his life. He learns that his real story was much more than he thought.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know one of the best things that ever happened with my relationship with my dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re it! It\u2019s you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you\u2019re sitting right here; and when you came into our family, you <em>forced<\/em>\u2014I mean with a will\/the Ann Wilson will\u2014you <em>forced<\/em> my dad and I into a relationship that we didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You forced my dad and I into a relationship that we didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because I saw the brokenness, and I was sad for you. I could tell that your dad was sad, too; so I was asking some questions that made you very uncomfortable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Questions my dad and I never ever talked about. I was afraid to go there, and you just brought it up. I was shocked that he <em>wanted<\/em> to talk about these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I tell you what: we get to talk to Ron Deal today about a lot of things; but one of them is the critical relationship with our dad. So welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you for having me back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Glad to have you here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs many of you know, Ron leads our blended family ministry at FamilyLife and has a blended family podcast called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014and sat down with some friends of ours recently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and talked with them about their marriage, and their relationship, <em>and<\/em> a their relationship with their dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Ray and Robyn McKelvy are a pastoral couple. They work in a local church in Nashville, and they are <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> speakers and have a lot of great influence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat down with them, sometime back, for our <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast and just wanted to hear Ray\u2019s journey, growing up in a blended family. It was <em>amazing<\/em> what came out. We already heard in the previous program lots of details\/family secrets. If you didn\u2019t hear Day One, we want to encourage you to do that. Today, we are picking up the story where Robyn really comes into his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And just like you guys, she helped push him a little bit. Don\u2019t spouses sometimes help us by pushing us in directions? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014even when we don\u2019t want it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s it; it\u2019s a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It is a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would have <em>never<\/em> gotten to where I got with my dad without Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That is fantastic. You know, we say all the time around here: \u201cOur mates are a gift from God.\u201d Sometimes, the gift includes making us move in directions we don\u2019t necessarily want to move. Sometimes, that\u2019s the Holy Spirit working through our spouse; and that certainly happened in Ray\u2019s story. I think people are going to <em>love<\/em> hearing this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> So from the time you were 13, and your mom and stepdad divorced, you lived partial with your aunt and uncle; some of your siblings were with mom; somebody was with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014our dad, Raymond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014that you later found out was not your biological dad; but yet, nevertheless, played the role of dad and was significant in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were a number of years there, where your mom was still single; is that right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right; so after she and my stepdad were divorced, she never married again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So from [when I was] 14 on, she was a single mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And what about Charles? Did the relationship with him kind of materialize, because of you guys getting married and Robyn insisting you learn more about him? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes; this lady sitting to my left was very insistent and persistent. We were engaged, making this list of who is invited to the wedding. She asked me if I wanted to invite him; and I remember saying, \u201cNot really.\u201d I remember Robyn just asking me\u2014she says, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to meet your biological father?\u201d\u2014I said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo fast forward, we were married two years; and my mom came to live with us. I am preparing to go to seminary by this time. I walked in on a conversation with Robyn and my mom; do you remember that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014in the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes, in the kitchen. What did you\/you tell what you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> I remember asking about Charles Bush, and I remember her saying she had no idea. She was really kind of mean about it\u2014\u201cI have no idea where he is; and when I find out where he is, then I will let you know,\u201d\u2014or something like that. I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay; cool! [Laughter] I just want to know if you know anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA couple of weeks later, it was going to be our last week in Kansas City\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh, no; I\u2019ve got to tell this story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember <em>overhearing<\/em> her conversation. I said, \u201cRobyn, why\/just leave it alone. Why are you asking?\u201d She said, \u201cI just feel like you need to know your dad.\u201d I said, \u201cI am 28 years old right now; I don\u2019t feel a need to know him. We\u2019ve got our own family now.\u201d She said, \u201cI just feel like you need to know him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not going to go looking for him. He\u2019s going to have to come to my doorstep.\u201d Robyn said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to pray that he does.\u201d She began to pray; this was around October or November of that year. She prayed November, December, January, February, March, April, May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, May was the month we were going to move to Texas so that I could go to seminary. In fact, it was the last weekend in May; it was Memorial Day weekend. My mother came to us; and she said, \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to meet with some friends this Saturday. We\u2019re going to do a picnic\/have a party. Don\u2019t wait up for me, but I will go to church with you guys tomorrow\u201d; because it was our <em>last<\/em> Sunday at our church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014and Ray was preaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes, I was the youth pastor, getting ready to preach a farewell message to go to seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, that Sunday morning, I got up early; I left; went to church. I was in my office; the phone rings, and it\u2019s Robyn. She said, \u201cYou\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> guess what happened.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat happened?!\u201d She said, \u201cYour mom came in our bedroom this morning and threw a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014a matchbook\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cmatchbook on the bed; and it has Charles Bush on it, and his phone number and address.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> The man lived like four blocks away from us\u2014[Laughter]\u2014four blocks! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh my goodness! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> She says, \u201cYour mom wants you to <em>call<\/em> him and invite him to church.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, I will.\u201d Robyn said, \u201cHere is the number\u201d; and I pretended to write the number down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I want to go inside that; why did you pretend? You didn\u2019t want to contact him <em>because<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m preaching my last sermon at a church, where I <em>loved<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, not the ripe climate to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes! I\u2019m not going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014reconcile and try to figure out a relationship with your dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I had already said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to know him; I\u2019ve got my own family. We\u2019re going to have our third child. I\u2019m going to seminary; I\u2019m going to be a pastor,\u201d\u2014or whatever\u2014I didn\u2019t know what I was going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And we were moving the end of that week. This was Sunday; we were leaving on Friday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Got it; time is of the essence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes! So I didn\u2019t call him; but sure enough, my mom came to church. She said, \u201cDid you hear what happened?!\u201d I was like, \u201cYes.\u201d [Laughter] She said, \u201cRay, it was the strangest thing.\u201d She said, \u201cI showed up at this party, and I\u2019m seeing all these old friends.\u201d She said, \u201cRight in the middle of it, he <em>walks<\/em> through the door.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Huh? Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> She said, \u201cThe first thing he said to me was: \u2018I want to meet him.\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cHe wants to meet you too.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s a lie\u201d; it was just not true. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cDid you call him?\u201d I said, \u201cNo.\u201d She said, \u201cRay, just give him a call this afternoon. Invite him over or invite him tonight,\u201d\u2014because we were going to have a special Sunday night; they were sending us off on Sunday night as well\u2014she said, \u201cInvite him Sunday night.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, Sunday night, I didn\u2019t call him. My mom, obviously, knew that I didn\u2019t. So now, it\u2019s Monday morning. It\u2019s Memorial Day. We are packing, and I look out the window. I see this man getting out of my mom\u2019s car. I go, \u201cOh, she went and got Charles Bush.\u201d I remember saying, \u201cHe\u2019s going to have to come to my doorstep.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> And here it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Here it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is going to make me cry again. [Emotion in voice] I had <em>no<\/em> idea what to say; I had <em>so many<\/em> things running through my mind. I\u2019m 29 years old by this time. He comes to the door; I open it. The first thing that comes to my mind is\/I say, \u201cI know who you are.\u201d He said, \u201cWho am I?\u201d I said, \u201cYou\u2019re my dad.\u201d [Emotion in voice] Tears flowed, and he started crying as well. We grabbed each other\u2019s hands and just kind of stood there. I remember going to the couch\u2014Rob, I don\u2019t know where you were\u2014I think you were still in the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014hiding, probably. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember us sitting on the couch; and I, in a matter of\u2014I want to say \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes\u2014I knew more about my life than I knew in 29 years; because he filled in some gaps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ray:<\/strong> He had shared with me how my mom wanted them to get married. She was 16; he was 18. But he said, \u201cRay, I couldn\u2019t bring you into my life.\u201d He said, \u201cI was an alcoholic.\u201d He said, \u201cI used to party with my own mother\u201d; he said, \u201cShe would put beer in my bottle to put me to bed at night.\u201d He said, \u201cI have never known a day without drinking.\u201d He said, \u201cI didn\u2019t want to bring you into that situation; so I told your mom, \u2018No.\u2019 She said, in so many uncertain terms, \u2018I don\u2019t ever want to see you again.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom and my dad, Raymond, who were neighbors\u2014the McKelvys and the Harrisons were neighbors and friends\u2014my dad, Raymond, loved my mom; he said, \u201cI\u2019ll marry you\u201d; and they kept the secret. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you are listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014where boy, oh boy\u2014as we listen to Ray\u2019s story, man, you find out information he <em>never<\/em> knew. That reality changes life. I mean, it\u2019s like: \u201cI thought I was this. I\u2019ve now discovered it isn\u2019t; and my reality now is totally changed, because of that information\u201d; right, Ron? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; you know, here is something about human nature\u2014we all do this\u2014in the absence of information, we will fill in the gaps\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and make up a story that makes sense to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, he had poor information. And in a heartbeat, he discovers, \u201cMy dad cared about me so much. He actually thought it was better for me to not be near him.\u201d Now, we can have a conversation around that line of thinking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014but the meaning there is: \u201cYou were loved.\u201d Ray didn\u2019t know that! I mean, that changes <em>everything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014<em>everything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> How many times do we do this with God? How many times do we just go: \u201cOh, I know what God thinks; I know what He feels about me\u201d? And we just haven\u2019t really considered <em>all<\/em> the right information; and when we hear it, it\u2019s like it can change everything in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I tell you\u2014I had an experience about my dad, which was 30 years of my life thinking the worst thing that ever happened was my dad left\u2014that\u2019s a long story; but the short of it is it might have been one of the best things that ever happened, because God was able to raise me in a different way; and it was a <em>gift<\/em>. That information changed my life! It\u2019s like, \u201cOh my goodness! I can see God differently; I can see my dad differently. I can see my family differently,\u201d\u2014<em>exactly<\/em> what we have learned from Ray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to know:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat happened next with Ray?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly. Now, let me just remind our listeners that, when I started my conversation with Ray, I asked him to tell the story from a child\u2019s point of view. Well, I\u2019m about to turn the corner and ask him to think about it now as an adult\/as Ray understands it now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> As the adult man that you are today, looking back, where was God the Father in all of this journey for you when you are having experiences with earthly fathers? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I knew you were leading up to this question. That part of my story is so <em>incredibly glorious<\/em>. I did not grow up going to church very often. I remember memorizing the Lord\u2019s Prayer when my parents were\/around that time of getting divorced. I didn\u2019t know where it was; I had to look in the index and just ask my grandmother if I could borrow her Bible. I just had this wanting to know God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I remember that afternoon memorizing the Lord\u2019s Prayer. I also remember initiating a time to start going to church when I was 13. This is when my mom and stepdad were together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a sense, God was drawing me right at the time when I found out about my biological father, right around that same time when my parents were getting a divorce or my mom and stepdad were having their rocky relationship. I entered ninth grade; I was 14, so it\u2019s all about the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Fourteen years old: I end up at one of the worst high schools in Kansas City; but God was at that high school. He was waiting in the form of my drama teacher. [Emotion in voice] It just makes me weep when I think about it. My drama teacher was a crazy Jesus-loving person. [Laughter] And she was bold about: she talked about Him; she would <em>pray<\/em> before class started. We were like, \u201cYou can\u2019t do that! You can\u2019t pray! This is public school.\u201d She would go, \u201cHoney, Jesus is my boss.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe started a Bible club at our school. I remember she invited me to this Bible club. I attended that Bible club; gave my life to Christ;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014began to go to another church, the church that she attended; was mentored by the pastor of the church. He was just a great example. Was he flawed?\u2014yes; but he was a great example of a man, who was <em>faithful<\/em> to his wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe saw something in me, so he had the church pay for me to have piano lessons. He saw something in me, and I began to\u2014along with my teacher that led me to Christ\u2014I started to leading worship at our church, went to Bible college, graduated from Bible college, came back, became the youth pastor and the worship pastor, met my wife through those circumstances; and the rest is history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> But it started with a lady, who was unashamed for Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; I got chills thinking about God pursuing you in what would end up being some of the biggest crisis moments of your life\u2014some of the\u2014the age where you were the most vulnerable in so many ways. I know we can\u2019t always see what God is doing; we just can\u2019t. Sometimes, it takes years and years; then we look back, and we go, \u201cMan, I can connect the dots.\u201d But it is pretty clear that He was there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Ron, I will tell you this: had God not intervened, right at that moment, I would be a black statistic, <em>because<\/em> even though I had only been a Christian maybe four months, I had a new relationship. I knew that those trials\/I knew, even by that time, how trials would create strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy drama teacher sent me on this path of Scripture memory. I had over 50 verses memorized in one weekend, but I was just immersed in the Word of God. I was able\u2014even through those breakups; even when my mom left, and we were separated\u2014I remember sending her tracks with the gospel being a part of it. I remember <em>praying<\/em> for her to come to know Christ, which she did later. I remember praying for family members coming to know Christ. So right at that pivotal moment, Christ stepped in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back, and I go, \u201cGod, You fathered me; You parented me in such a loving way.\u201d I would not be the man I am today if that had not happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014where, boy, oh boy\u2014what a conversation Ron Deal had with Ray McKelvy\/Ray and Robyn both. Give us some wisdom, Mr. Counselor, over there of what we\u2019ve heard today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know, we entitled that podcast: \u201cGrowing Up in a Blender.\u201d It\u2019s a series that we do, from time to time, where we interview people about their childhood experience; but then the subtitle was: \u201cWho Is My Daddy?\u201dThat really kind of captures Ray\u2019s journey there: \u201c Well, who is my daddy?\u201d I mean, that is a question we all have to ask\u2014not just my earthly father, or father figures, or stepfather, or the different people who enter into our life\u2014but \u201cWho is my daddy?\u201d Ultimately, of course, it is God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at how God pursued Ray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It\u2019s an <em>incredible<\/em> story of God\u2019s pursuit, and that is a mirror for all of us. Your story may not be anything like Ray\u2019s; but God is still pursuing you\u2014always has, always will\u2014with a Father\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> God is a good Father; He is a pursuing Father. He was always there, and that means that anyone of us, who is in Christ, is a beloved child of God. I walk with confidence\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014even though my relationship with my earthly father may still be broken\u2014that\u2019s not my identity\u2014my identity goes vertical. Ray revealed that to us in a beautiful way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The thing I was thinking too, guys, was I love the idea of telling our stories. Even asking, \u201cDo my kids know my story?\u201d because there is a lot of healing that comes out of that\u2014even for our kids knowing where we\u2019ve come from, where God is taking us\u2014is always an important part of our journey and <em>their<\/em> journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know, if there is any shame in your story, saying it out loud is one of the ways we heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We get released. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> We do. It\u2019s\/the Bible calls it confession; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> But we just say, \u201cIt\u2019s telling our story.\u201d It can be a healing moment to share your story with somebody you trust who will handle it well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Every time you are with us, that is sort of what happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It does! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Thanks for being with us, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners to listen to <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> on wherever you listen to podcasts, or FamilyLife.com, or our FamilyLife app. All I know\u2014and I was on one of those\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You were; our very first \u201cGrowing Up Blended\u201d in this series was your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; where you put me on the couch, and you had me <em>confess<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Episode Number Two: go listen to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know some of you subscribe to Ron Deal\u2019s podcast, <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. It is available on the FamilyLife app, or you\u2019ll find it wherever you get podcasts. If you want to look for Episode Two, where Ron talks with Dave Wilson about growing up blended, or if you want to subscribe to the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014there is a link there\u2014or go wherever you get podcasts and look for <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Ron has just completed a new book called <em>Preparing to Blend<\/em>. It\u2019s a pre-marriage manual for couples, who are beginning a blended marriage. If you know someone who\u00a0 is in that situation, or if that is <em>you<\/em>, consider mentioning this book to your pastor or whoever is doing your pre-marital counseling, or going through it together as a couple, so that you can be ready for the issues you will undoubtedly be facing in your blended marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about Ron\u2019s book, <em>Preparing to Blend<\/em>, on our website FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy, you can order online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are excited. This weekend, we\u2019ve got <em>hundreds<\/em> of couples, who are going to be joining us at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. We\u2019ve got getaways happening in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Destin, Florida; Estes Park, Colorado. Next weekend, people are going to be joining us in Williamsburg, Virginia; San Antonio, Texas; Cambridge, Massachusetts; Philadelphia; Portland; Corte d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Sacramento, California. There is a lot of ministry going on right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, one of the things we get excited about, here at FamilyLife, is on Monday morning, all of the real-time feedback that starts to come our way from couples, who have been with us at one of our weekend getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, I just read one this past weekend of a woman who put on her feedback, \u201cHey, I came as a roommate; but I left as a wife again,\u201d\u2014and just the transformation that can happen in a few days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we\u2019ve done over half of the <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em> getaways that we\u2019ll do this fall. We have 12 left, as you\u2019ve said, Bob. It is so fun to see our team come back and be out there again, having a full season of <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em>. It\u2019s a <em>blast<\/em> for our teams to be with volunteers and see these couples go before the Lord and make space for one another, because we know our marriages require intentional attention. That\u2019s exactly what <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> does, and it does so bringing people before the throne room of God, encouraging them to pursue Him. The transformation is so encouraging; and our teams are having a <em>blast<\/em>, getting out there, doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you can find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014find out when it is coming to a city near where you live\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; the information is available there. We hope you\u2019ll join us at an upcoming getaway or think about giving a certificate for a getaway to your kids, maybe even your grandkids, as a Christmas gift this year. There is information about that online at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. I hope you can join us on Monday. Crystal Paine is going to be here to talk about what ought to be at the center of our parenting\u2014and it\u2019s a simple word\u2014it\u2019s the word, \u201clove.\u201d What does love-centered parenting look like? We\u2019ll look at that Monday. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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