{"id":307289,"date":"2021-11-06T19:26:25","date_gmt":"2021-11-06T23:26:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths\/"},"modified":"2021-11-06T19:26:25","modified_gmt":"2021-11-06T23:26:25","slug":"happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths\/","title":{"rendered":"Happily Ever After: Debunking the Myths"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hollywood and fairy tales tell us that marriage means &#8220;Happily Ever After.&#8221; But as Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and Jim and Carol Shores explain, there&#8217;s much more to marriage than a catchy tagline.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\nDennis and Barbara Rainey talk about marriage<br \/>\nFamilyLife Today programs with Jim and Carol Shores.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hollywood and fairy tales tell us that marriage means &#8220;Happily Ever After.&#8221; But as Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and Jim and Carol Shores explain, there&#8217;s much more to marriage than a catchy tagline.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2021-11-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26882186","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2082,2862],"tags":[5374,2877],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3051,9330],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-307289","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-commitment","category-communication","category-understanding-differences","tag-happiness","tag-marriage","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-jim-and-carol-shores","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307289\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307289\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"o9hSPPB7cb\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths\/\">Happily Ever After: Debunking the Myths<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/happily-ever-after-debunking-the-myths\/embed\/#?secret=o9hSPPB7cb\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Happily Ever After: Debunking the Myths&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"o9hSPPB7cb\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Hollywood and fairy tales tell us that marriage means \"Happily Ever After.\" But as Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and Jim and Carol Shores explain, there's much more to marriage than a catchy tagline.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2021-11-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019m not married, but I have it on pretty good authority that, after the honeymoon, that\u2019s when the <em>real<\/em> work of marriage begins; and that\u2019s where the mistakes tend to happen. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would have to say, if there was a rookie error that I repeated, it would have to have been around scheduling: of underestimating just how fast, how far, how long my wife could run with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I\u2019d never lived with a man before; so I\u2019m learning about men by living with my husband, who is learning about becoming a man; that, right there, is room for all kinds of mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re going to hear from Dennis and Barbara Rainey about the rookie mistakes they made. We\u2019re also going to learn how to get <em>past<\/em> those mistakes on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. When I mention the word, \u201crookie,\u201d your mind probably goes to baseball\u2014you think of that talented pitcher, or shortstop, or the guy behind the plate with those big arms\u2014and all that talent. You know what comes with all that talent?\u2014because this is the first time that they have ever played in the big leagues, there\u2019s some <em>mistakes<\/em> that come with that talent. And those rookie seasons?\u2014they happen in sports; they happen in marriage; they happen in a <em>lot<\/em> of other areas of our life! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about these rookie mistakes a little bit today. Bob Lepine sat down with Dennis and Barbara Rainey, not too long ago, and started to <em>probe<\/em> into their early years of marriage. But here\u2019s Bob, sharing about one of <em>his<\/em> rookie mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In my family, growing up, one of the ways you expressed affection to one another is you teased\u2014you teased and you poked fun at people\u2014and that was a way of saying, \u201cI think you\u2019re really special\u201d; okay? That did not\/that was not what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014that didn\u2019t fly with Mary Ann?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that didn\u2019t fly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014was not on Mary Ann\u2019s frame of reference, for how to express affection or receive affection, is to be teased at; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s another thing: in our family, growing up, we were pretty much out in the open about what was going on in <em>all<\/em> aspects of life. If I came down to the breakfast table, it would not have been unusual for my mom to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know if you know, but you have a pimple on your forehead\u201d; okay? I\u2019d go, \u201cOh, thanks\u201d; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo when my wife comes down to the breakfast table, [Laughter] I go, \u201cI don\u2019t know if you know, but there\u2019s a pimple on your\u2026\u201d; and she cries! [Laughter] I thought I was being helpful,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and she <em>cries<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are rookie mistakes you don\u2019t want to repeat over and over again. Would you look back and say there was a big rookie error?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would have to say, if there was a rookie error that I repeated, it would have to have been around scheduling, as we had children, of underestimating how fast, how far, how long my wife could run with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you agree that this was a rookie mistake?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, I would. I\u2019m not sure I would have phrased it quite as specifically, but I think that\u2019s a great illustration. I think it was failing to understand how different I was as a woman. I think it\u2019s true for me, too; I think it works for both the woman\u2019s side and the man\u2019s side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d never lived with a man before; so I\u2019m learning about men by living with my husband, who is learning about becoming a man; that, right there, is room for all kinds of mistakes. And he was learning about living with me as a woman\u2014he\u2019d never had a sister; he\u2019d never been married before\u2014he didn\u2019t know much about women. I think his framework was he expected me to be able to keep up with his pace; he expected me to think like he thought in certain areas. That took a long, long time for that understanding\/to go: \u201cOh, she really is different,\u201d \u201cOh, she doesn\u2019t see life the way I do,\u201d \u201cShe doesn\u2019t feel the things that I feel,\u201d \u201cShe doesn\u2019t\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that would be our rookie mistake, was that understanding of our differentness as male and female.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The principle is: \u201cIt\u2019s okay to have one rookie season; it\u2019s not okay to repeat it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It\u2019s not only learning from your rookie mistakes to not repeat them; but it\u2019s also learning: \u201cWhy did Mary Ann cry when you said that? What was it about that?\u201d\u2014because you were trying to be helpful; so it\u2019s not really that what you said was, in and of itself, wrong. It was how she <em>heard<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> To me, that\u2019s the real issue in all of these differences we have in marriage; it\u2019s learning: \u201cWhy did that affect her that way?\u201d When you do that, that communicates love; it communicates: \u201cI want to know you,\u201d \u201cI want to understand you.\u201d Maybe you get to the place, eventually, where that stuff doesn\u2019t bother her anymore; and maybe you don\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not just figuring out what the rules are\u2014\u201cOkay; I can\u2019t say that, because that was a mistake. I can\u2019t say it,\u201d\u2014but moving beyond knowing what works and what doesn\u2019t work; it\u2019s not a formula. It\u2019s figuring out: \u201cWho is this person?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s important to this person? Why?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right; getting to the heart of the issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Not just having a checklist of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts for marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014but understanding, \u201cI know how you think, so I can begin to think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cSo, therefore, I don\u2019t want to go there; because that\u2019s hurtful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think most young couples: \u201cTell me the five things I need to do.\u201d We all approach relationships\/we all approach <em>life<\/em> that way: \u201cTell me the things that will work, so that I can do them; so that I can avoid pain.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ah, those rookie mistakes. You\u2019ve never had <em>that<\/em> problem; right? I am <em>so<\/em> thankful for Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and also for Bob Lepine, being able to be transparent with us, and vulnerable, and share those mistakes so that we can <em>learn<\/em> from them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do today. We\u2019re going to <em>learn<\/em>, because men and women are different: we think different; we process different; we react different. Many times, we see the world differently. Did you catch the word that I used multiple times there?\u2014<em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want us to go back to school today with a couple of pros in communication, Jim and Carol Shores. The Shores are <em>great<\/em> friends of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. They teach couples about communication, while weaving comedy and theater into their presentations. Jim and Carol are both actors, and they\u2019re going to equip us today. Here\u2019s Jim and Carol.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Event Presentation]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carol:<\/strong> Jim and I have been married for going on 22 years, and we still find this communication thing a <em>challenge<\/em>. We\u2019re going to explore a few of those challenges today, and we are going to utilize the characters of Dan and Lauren. Now, back when they met, they were students in college; and they had been going together for a number of weeks. Jim, why don\u2019t you tell us a little about the <em>beginning<\/em> of their relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0Well, back in the beginning of their relationship, Dan used to bring Lauren flowers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHow did you know I liked brown-eyed Susan\u2019s?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cBecause you mentioned during lunch that you liked them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cYou\u00a0are just wonderful!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0In the beginning of their relationship, Lauren appreciated every little thing that he did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cThat pizza was <em>great<\/em>! You\u2019re the only one I know who can rip pizza in a straight line!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh, it was nothing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0In the beginning of their relationship, Dan and Lauren felt like they communicated with each other\u00a0perfectly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren and Jim as Dan in unison: \u201cI can\u2019t believe you think that, too!! I know\u00a0exactly\u00a0what you mean!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0But then they got to know each other <em>better<\/em>; they got to know each other better day, after day, after day. They discovered they had some <em>differences<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t know what it is with her\u2014but when we argue, I feel like I am being perfectly clear; and she just <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> get it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhen we argue\u2014and by the way, I don\u2019t argue; I\u00a0discuss with passion\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but when I do, he doesn\u2019t get it! Now, my girlfriends have\u00a0no trouble\u00a0understanding me; so what\u2019s the problem?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0What\u00a0is\u00a0the problem?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0The problem is\u2014it\u2019s not so much a problem as we have differences\u2014God created us male and female. We\u2019re not only physically different; we\u2019re emotionally different, as well. But if you don\u2019t understand those <em>differences<\/em>, then the differences can <em>sound<\/em> like problems, like these:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cShe\u2019s\u00a0so\u00a0emotional!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cJust when we get close, all of a sudden, he <em>retreats<\/em>; and he won\u2019t talk!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cShe talks\u00a0all the time!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHe doesn\u2019t listen! Whenever I\u2019ve got a problem, all he wants to do is fix it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cShe\u2019s so <em>dramatic<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHe\u2019s so nuts and bolts!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t know what it is with her; I mean, just when I feel like I understand her perfectly, she tells me I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> understand her at all. I mean, I feel like you need an interpreter to get what she means!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0\u201cSo why don\u2019t they just break up while they can?\u201d\u2014that might be what you\u2019re thinking. Well, the truth is that they really do like each other; there\u2019s a lot that\u2019s going <em>well<\/em> in their relationship. We\u2019re just outlining some of their communication problems. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs many of you already know, even if you love someone, that love can dry up in the face of hurt, resentment, bitterness, and just being consistently misunderstood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0So right now, using the medium of theater, we\u2019re going to take a look at several of the ways that the opposite sex <em>typically<\/em> miscommunicate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0Men and women listen differently, and they listen for different reasons. Rather than trying to explain this, let\u2019s just show you in a scene from the early years of Dan and Lauren\u2019s marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cHey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHey! How was work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh, it was fine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWell, I know you were worried about that presentation; that went okay?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYes, yes; I was\u2014but you know, I mean, it went <em>fine<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cOkay; fine. Aren\u2019t you going to ask me about <em>my<\/em> day?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh, yes; but you asked me about mine first.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cBecause I was interested in knowing how it\u00a0went.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI told you; I mean, it was fine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI think we\u2019ve established that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cHow was your day?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cIt was\u00a0horrible!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cIt was horrible? What happened?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWell, to start things off, I burned a hole in my favorite white skirt!\u2014you know, the one with the pleats?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWait! You burned a hole in it? How did you burn a hole in it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s that stupid iron! The plastic part broke off on my trip to New York. Now, every time I look at the thing wrong, it falls over. I went to get a second cup of coffee\u2014I come back\u2014there was a big old scorch mark in my $50 Banana Republic<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0skirt!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYou know what you need to do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhat?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYou need to get a new iron.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI know that. Anyway, that\u2019s how my morning\u00a0started. And then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI know how you can save your skirt! Cut off the burn mark; make it into a mini-skirt.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhat?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYes, yes! You cut the place where it scorched\u2014right?\u2014and you sew the skirt so that it\u2019s shorter.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cYou know, I\u2019m not wearing mini-skirts anymore.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWell, I mean, you could wear it around the house for me! [Laughter] I mean, like I could run and get it. We could start the alterations.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI\u2019d like you to let me finish my story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cGo ahead.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cOkay, so now I\u2019ve got to change my clothes; that means I\u2019m running late. I drive into town, but there\u2019s no place to park! Finally, I just drive behind the library; I park there. I\u2019m not ten paces away from the car when a policeman, in bike shorts, swoops by, gives me a ticket! Can you believe that?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWell, where exactly did you park?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cBehind the library, next to the dumpster.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re not supposed to park there!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI know that!\u00a0I got a ticket!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh! You know where you should park?\u2014park in front of First Baptist because Sam\u2019s wife works there now. If you walk across the front and smile at her, through the window, she doesn\u2019t call the tow truck.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0[sarcastically] \u201cIsn\u2019t that nice?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cAren\u2019t you going to finish your story?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhy?! You\u2019re <em>not<\/em> listening.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWhat?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI think you couldn\u2019t care less!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u2014like I\u2019ve been focused on you since I walked through the door!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cFine!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWhat did I do wrong?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201c<em>I just don\u2019t think you really care<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWell, of course, I care!\u2014like I\u2019m trying to help you out here!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cThen why aren\u2019t you\u00a0listening\u00a0to me?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI am!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cYou are unbelievable!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0[Long pause] \u201cSorry! [Long pause] Hey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhat?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI thought maybe we could go fool around.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re in the middle of an argument.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh; I thought we were <em>done<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cNo, we\u2019re not!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOkay. [Long pause] So is that a \u2018No\u2019?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cYes!\u2014that\u2019s a \u2018No!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOkay. [Long pause] I was just wondering what was for dinner.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhatever <em>you<\/em> fix!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh, great! I\u2019ll go fire up the grill.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0[Bewildered] \u201cYou\u2019re <em>amazing<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cThank you!\" [Laughter] \u201cSo are you! I\u2019ll just be outside if you need me.\u201d [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim: Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Have you ever had that type of argument? Where did Dan and Lauren go wrong? How are they communicating and miscommunicating as they make their assumptions about each other? We\u2019re going to take a break; but when we come back, we\u2019re going to hear more on this topic of communication from Jim and Carol. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. We are in the middle of hearing an argument between Dan and Lauren as acted by Jim and Carol Shores. Again, Jim and Carol are good friends with FamilyLife; and they have done presentations at many of our events. Through these characters of Dan and Lauren, they\u2019re helping us understand the differences between men and women and how <em>best<\/em> to communicate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s get back to Dan and Lauren and get an explanation of what\u2019s <em>really<\/em> going on. Here\u2019s Jim Shores. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim: So obviously, guys are not that clueless every day; [Laughter] but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0But just taking a survey in this room: \u201cHow many men here feel he was listening?\u201d Can I see hands?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0Yes! Thank you! [Laughter] He <em>heard<\/em> every word that came out of her mouth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0\u201cHow many <em>women<\/em> here feel that he was listening?\u201d\u2014we\u2019ve got a few shaky hands here; yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was she needing? Now, we hear back from you: just yell it out. What was she needing? [Audience voices] \u201cSupport.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0\u201cSympathy\u201d; \u201cempathy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0\u201cCompassion.\u201d Alright; so these are all of these things she was needing. What was he giving her? [Audience voices]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0\u201cFix it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0\u201cFix it; fix it.\u201d Well, see\u2014women\u2014we work through our problems by talking about our problems and our feelings about our problems\u2014it sort of looks like this\u2014and then it all gets processed out on the other side. Why is this difficult for a <em>guy<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0That\u2019s <em>terrifying<\/em>! [Laughter] \u201cWhat the\u2026\u201d\u2014you know, it\u2019s so confusing. I mean, to a guy, it can be very confusing when a woman is processing her feelings. We just don\u2019t know what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys tend to be less verbal than women. I mean, if you think about it\u2014if you\u2019ve got a guy\u2014if he\u2019s less verbal and he has a problem, his knee-jerk reaction is not to talk about the problem. He doesn\u2019t want you to know he has the problem, because that calls into question his competency. He\u2019ll try to solve it on his own before you find out. If he\u2019s got a problem he can\u2019t solve, sometimes, he\u2019ll go\/a lot of times, he\u2019ll go to a trusted male friend. That friend, he is hoping, will say: \u201cOh, I had that problem. I did this\u2026it fixed it.\u201d The first guy says, \u201cThank you.\u201d He employs that solution; gets back to the business of living his life, and he\u2019s <em>fine<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he hears his wife talking about a problem. What do you think he thinks she\u2019s looking for?\u2014a solution to the problem; so he offers one, being the good guy that he is. She bats it away; he offers another, and she bats it away. He is getting frustrated; she\u2019s getting frustrated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course!\u2014what\u2019s happening?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0Well, it\u2019s because of how God wired us. As women, we are <em>relational<\/em>; we are about connection and relationship. So when we tell our husband our bad day, and he keeps trying to stop us by fixing\u00a0the things, what it feels like is that he\u2019s not really caring about what this is really about, which is the <em>heart<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0He just really wants to fix the things, because this whole conversation is just getting kind of <em>annoying<\/em>; and he just wants the whole thing to go away. But is that true?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0Yes. [Laughter] I realize, you know, I\u00a0do\u2014do that\u2014because how convenient, if I can fix the problem, and those emotions die down, and we get past that; and I don\u2019t have to go through that scary minefield of my wife\u2019s heart. The problem with that\u2014if we\u2019re always fixing the problem and circumventing her heart\u2014we\u2019re short-circuiting the emotional intimacy that we got into this marriage for in the first place; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s not good for the man to be alone. I will create a helpmate suitable for him.\u201d We\u2019re <em>designed<\/em> for each other. It\u2019s not just the woman who needs the emotional intimacy; we <em>both<\/em> need that, but she is typically better at getting us there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0So if we were to just like roll the scene back a little bit: \u201cHow could\u201d\u2014using the wisdom in this room; some of your suggestions\u2014\u201chow could we turn this scene from frustration into communication?\u201d We want to look at some things that Lauren and Dan could do differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s look at my character first: Lauren: \u201cWhat could she do differently in this scene?\u201d [Audience responses]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0\u201cTell him, upfront, you just need to vent.\u201d Very often we think, \u201cWell, if you loved me, you would just know.\u201d That\u2019s crazy! [Laughter] We have to say it out loud. I used to say to Carol, \u201cIf you don\u2019t say it out loud, I\u2019m not responsible for knowing it.\u201d She was like, \u201cThat\u2019s horrible!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cI\u2019m sorry!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol:\u00a0\u201cWhat are some other things Lauren could do differently?\u201d [Audience responses] \u201cUse \u2018I feel\u2026\u2019 statements.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim:\u00a0[Laughter] \u201cVent somewhere else!\u201d Sometimes, that\u2019s appropriate. If your husband is overloaded, and you see a ticking time bomb walking in the door\u2014and you\u2019re going to vent to that\u2014right?\u2014it might be wise to call a girlfriend and go, \u201cI was going to vent to my husband; not today!\u201d That might be a good choice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright; \u201cSo what could Dan have done differently?\u201d [Audience responses] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you feel?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTell her about his day instead of just saying, \u2018Fine.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI hear what you\u2019re saying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m sorry your day went that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAsk her to tell me more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what?\u2014say it again: \u201cOffer the $60 to buy a new skirt!\u201d [Applause] That kind of solution might be okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne more, up here: \u201cIt is what it is!\u201d [Laughter] We\u2019ll try! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright; so we\u2019re going to take some of these suggestions and replay them. We\u2019ll see how they go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHey!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cHey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cHow was work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOh, well, I was going to say, \u2018Fine\u2019\u2014but I had a little bird tell me that I should\u2014you know, on the ride home, I was thinking about my day; I went over the details of my day, and I\u2019d like to share them with you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cOkay; I was just going to let you have a landing strip here, and be silent for a little while; but okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cThis is how I\u2019m landing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cOkay!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYou know, I had that presentation today. It\u2014okay, words\u2014I was <em>nervous<\/em> because I felt under-sort of-rehearsed for the thing. Then, my boss\u2019s <em>boss<\/em> came in; and I didn\u2019t know why he was in the room. Then my boss left, and my boss\u2019s boss watched the presentation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was confused and terrified at the same time. I was so worried about what he was thinking that I went on auto-pilot, and I did a\u00a0fantastic\u00a0job; I mean, like I didn\u2019t know who was delivering this; it was amazing! It turns out that\u2019s why he was in the room\u2014was that I\u2019m up for a promotion\u2014he wanted to double-check and make sure that I was the guy, and\u00a0I am.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYes! Yes!\u201d [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201c\u2019Fine,\u2019\u201d would just not have done that justice!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cNo\u2014no! So how was <em>your<\/em> day?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cIt was horrible,\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cReally? What happened?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t want to vent; well, I do want to vent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cNo, vent\u2014vent, really\u2014I have chocolate in my bag.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWhat I feel\/I feel, really, like this big, huge storm in my chest, at the moment. Basically, I had a bad day. The short version is I burned a hole in my favorite white skirt, the one with the pleats.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cWait! You burned a hole in that? How did you burn a hole in it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cThe iron\u2014I went to get a second cup of coffee\u2014big old scorch mark; it\u2019s gone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYou need a new iron.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI <em>thank you<\/em> for that suggestion.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m the man!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s a good one. But I\u2019ll tell you that, right now, what I really need\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cYes?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u2014\u201cI just need you to listen; I don\u2019t need you to fix it. I don\u2019t need you to say <em>anything<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u2014\u201cat all?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cYou could say, like, \u2018Uh-huh.\u2019 [Laughter] That would be helpful.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cOkay; I can do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cOkay? So the skirt\u2019s gone. I changed; drove into town; no place to park; I am right on the edge of being late for this doctor\u2019s appointment. I finally find a parking space behind the library. A policeman comes by; I get a parking ticket for parking next to the dumpster. It was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0[Long pause] \u201cHow did that make you feel?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u2014\u201clike an idiot, because I should have known. I just wasn\u2019t paying attention; I was distracted. I got to the appointment, only to find out that it\u2019s <em>next week<\/em>. [Laughter from audience] It\u2019s not funny, because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cNo, I\u2019m not laughing; I am empathizing.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cThank you; thank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cCome here; you had a\u00a0terrible\u00a0day.\u201d [Dan hugs Lauren]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cI did; I did. [Applause] I feel like I can\u2019t do anything right.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cHoney, you do so much right; it is just not even funny. I love you, and I\u2019m sorry you had a terrible day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0[Sounding teary-eyed] \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cLook what I bought for you.\u201d [Holding flowers]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCarol as Lauren:\u00a0\u201cWow! They almost look brand-new!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim as Dan:\u00a0\u201cI know; right? It is what it is!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> The improved communication styles of Dan and Lauren, as acted by Jim and Carol Shores. If you\u2019d like to hear more from Jim and Carol, go to our website, where we have their entire presentation. Also, we have Dennis and Barbara talking about the rookie mistakes and how they made it through those rookie mistakes. That\u2019s at our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; that\u2019s FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing up next week, we\u2019re going to talk about the tough topic of post-partum depression. It\u2019s really nothing to joke around with, and it\u2019s hard. I\u2019m going to talk with my good friend, Courtney Reissig; and we\u2019re going to bring some hope and healing to those, who are struggling with this topic; and some insight for those who want to help those struggling. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the co-founder of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and our president, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, who is a <em>horrible<\/em> communicator. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff, who are <em>decent<\/em> communicators. Justin Adams, our mastering engineer, who is a little bit better in his communication; and Megan Martin, our production coordinator, who makes perfect sense <em>all the time<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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