{"id":307288,"date":"2021-11-05T11:00:45","date_gmt":"2021-11-05T15:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/building-family-priorities\/"},"modified":"2021-11-05T11:00:45","modified_gmt":"2021-11-05T15:00:45","slug":"building-family-priorities","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-family-priorities\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Family Priorities"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What kind of priorities should we have for our families? Dave Wilson highlights the importance of &#8220;honor&#8221; in our homes and how it affects every area of our lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-05.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:00","filesize":"24.72M","filesize_raw":"25916401","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[5328,2209],"podcast_series":[8486],"cwp_profile":[3647],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307288","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-honor","tag-parenting","podcast_series-real-vs-ideal-family","cwp_profile-dave-and-ann-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307288\/building-family-priorities","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307288\/building-family-priorities","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"gF3Tce0zKK\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-family-priorities\/\">Building Family Priorities<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-family-priorities\/embed\/#?secret=gF3Tce0zKK\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Building Family Priorities&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"gF3Tce0zKK\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What kind of priorities should we have for our families? Dave Wilson highlights the importance of \"honor\" in our homes and how it affects every area of our lives.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; I\u2019m going to give you a date, and then I want you to give me words of what you felt; okay? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t like these games.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> 2007\u2014Chicago, Illinois\u2014dropping Austin off at college: \u201cGo!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Sad, tears, crying, excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Scary!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Scary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Looking in the rearview mirror and seeing downtown Chicago, like, \u2018\u2019What are we doing right now?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson; and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo dropping Austin off at college\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014launching our son into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014I was feeling like, \u201cHow can we be at this point?\u201d Because it felt like, when they were little, especially toddlers, every day seemed like a million years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And <em>now<\/em>, I felt like, \u201cWe\u2019re done.\u201d And the question was: \u201cWas it enough? Did I do enough? Did I do the <em>right<\/em> things?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like where we\u2019re going today; because in this message that you gave at our church, you get into what it means to be a family. In the first part of this, you talked about honoring; you talked about family\/about God\u2019s family and what that looks like. Now, today, we\u2019re going to get into some more practical things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I think one of the things we had to decide as a family\u2014and I think every family has to decide is\u2014\u201cWhat are we going to be about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are the Wilsons going to be about?\u201d \u201cWhat is <em>your<\/em> family going to be about?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn this message, I tried to say, \u201cOkay, the ideal family is impossible. We\u2019re going to live in a <em>real<\/em> family, so how do we get to become the family we want to become?\u201d And we decided, long ago, this word, \u201chonor,\u201d\u2014which I already developed in Part One\u2014is the way we want to live: \u201cHonor God; honor each other in our family; and then honor our neighbor.\u201d I\u2019ve already given you the outline of where this message is going to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But it\u2019s like, \u201cMan! If we could value others with honor, it would be the home we dreamed of; and I think it would be a home that became a magnet: people would want to be a part of a family that honors.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> As soon as you said that, I\u2019m thinking I would think this\u2014if I am listening, when our kids were little,\u2014\u201cI <em>already failed! <\/em>I\u2019ve already failed and messed up my child!\u201d And yet, it\u2019s not about necessarily always doing it perfectly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, no!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you\u2019re just kind of <em>aiming<\/em> at what God says a family could be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, we need a target; and the word, \u201chonor,\u201d is a pretty good target. So I hope families will listen and say, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s hit <em>that<\/em> target.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Think about this word, \u201chonor.\u201d Think about this: you don\u2019t even have to <em>like<\/em> someone to honor them. Some of you are like: \u201cI\u2019m not going to honor! I don\u2019t even like him.\u201d You don\u2019t have to! We honor <em>positions<\/em>. When a judge walks into the courtroom, they say, \u201cPlease rise for the honorable judge.\u201d What\u2019s that all about? I don\u2019t even know that judge! I don\u2019t know if I like that judge\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter\u2014they have a position of honor; we <em>stand<\/em>; other cultures kneel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about that in your family. I don\u2019t necessarily have to agree, or even love, or even like all the people in this room; but I am going to show them honor because of their <em>value<\/em>. Think what that would mean\u2014think about this\u2014I\u2019ll never forget Gary Smalley saying this; he says, \u201cWhen you honor somebody that\u2019s really valuable, not only do you sort of bend the knee\u201d\u2014and again, not literally, but you bend the knee in your reverence for them\u2014\u201cbut your jaw drops; because when somebody, who\u2019s really valuable, walks in front of you, you go, \u2018Oh!!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever do that?\u2014\u201cOh!! <em>Look!\u201d <\/em>You know, if some pro-athlete walked in here or somebody that you really respect\u2014who\u2019s an artist, a musician, a movie star\u2014which is <em>crazy<\/em> that we honor these people! It\u2019s just <em>crazy <\/em>we do that\u2014and yet, we don\u2019t honor God. But they walk in here, and you see people [gasping sounds], \u201cLook! Look! So-and-so is here!\u201d And you\u2019re like, \u201cOhhh!\u201d That\u2019s what we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would happen\u2014do you get this?!\u2014what would happen if the people in your home\u2014your sons, your daughters, your spouse, your parents, your grandparents, your neighbors\u2014felt \u201cOh!!\u201d They\u2019re like, \u201cI don\u2019t even know what happens; but when I\u2019m in their home, I feel <em>so loved! <\/em>They respect me,\u201d\u2014\u201cOh!!\u201d They don\u2019t even know how to explain it; but they\u2019re feeling honored\/blessed by us; because we\u2019re doing this, in a sense, in our life. That\u2019s what I hope the homes become: homes of honor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s all I want to talk about, and I\u2019ve got to do this very quickly\u2014and believe me, last service, Ann was here, so I made her come up and do this with me\u2014too bad for you she\u2019s not here, but I\u2019ll tell you what she said; okay? Here\u2019s what we try to do in our home. I\u2019m just saying this is the Wilson home; I\u2019m not saying\u2014Cody\u2019s right here; he can tell you: \u201cWe did<em> not <\/em>do this perfectly; or sometimes, we didn\u2019t even come close,\u201d\u2014but our <em>goal <\/em>was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got to have a goal for your home! Some of you are young parents, with young kids, and some of you are like me, empty nesters\u2014you\u2019ve <em>got to know<\/em>\u2014\u201cWhat is it we\u2019re trying to do in our home?\u201d I\u2019m saying this: \u201cWhat if you build a home\/a family around honor?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree areas, and you know where we\u2019re going to go:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe first priority in our family, that we tried to instill in our legacy\u2014a big word\u2014the first priority is: \u201cHonor who?\u201d\u2014Honor God! \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tSecond priority: Honor one another in the family; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThird priority: Honor your neighbors. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s it! That was our whole goal. It was something we had to think about <em>every week. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about this: if you\u2019re a parent\u2014and you just had a baby\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever studied this, but from zero\/birth through age 18, do you know how many weeks you\u2019ve got?\u201418 years, you\u2019ve got 936 weeks. I would challenge you to do what we try to do: to break it into weeks. And trust me on this: they\u2019re going to be gone like that! I know you don\u2019t think that if you\u2019re a young parent; because I\u2019d hear older parents tell me that, and I was like [whining], \u201cNo they\u2019re not. They\u2019re never leaving! There\u2019s snot! There\u2019s poop all over!\u201d [Laughter] You\u2019re going to blink, and they\u2019re going to be gone; so you\u2019ve got 936 weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat if you decided to say: \u201cI\u2019m going to break these into weeks and have a plan for each week to help my son or daughter honor God as we do\u201d? And let me just say this before I talk about some routines\u2014and this is <em>really <\/em>important\u2014your kids, parents, are going to <em>catch<\/em> your faith more than they\u2019re going to get your faith. In other words, faith is caught more than taught. If it isn\u2019t real in you, it probably has a hard time getting real in them. If they hear you talking about: \u201cThey should have a walk with God,\u201d \u201cThey should be a man or woman of the Word,\u201d \u201cThey should do this!\u201d and they <em>never<\/em> see mom and dad do this, it\u2019s empty words. They\u2019re going to follow the way you walk, not the way you point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we tried to\u2014and again, Ann was here last service, just walking through them; and I don\u2019t have time\u2014but we tried to create routines that fit into these weeks that we had with our three sons at the time. It was basically\/I wrote them down\u2014there are books written on this\u2014but we just tried to live this out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tOne of the routines was: \u201cCreate routines where you can <em>seize<\/em> the mealtime.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019re sitting down at dinner, at a mealtime, seize that moment! I remember one of the things Ann did\u2014and Cody can tell you this better than I could\u2014she\u2019d say, \u201cOkay, boys, let\u2019s talk about your day. You\u2019ve got to talk about with a <em>feeling <\/em>word!\u201d They\u2019re like, \u201cWhat? What do you mean a \u2018feeling\u2019 word?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat do you mean a \u2018feeling\u2019 word?\u201d She\u2019d say, \u201c<em>I\u2019m trying to draw emotions out!\u201d <\/em>[Laughter] That was <em>seizing <\/em>moments about their life and about God at mealtime. Mealtime is critical time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, the studies that I\u2019ve seen\u2014it\u2019s really\u2014University of Michigan did one, years ago, that said, \u201cIf you want your child to turn out like this kind of a stable adult, what is the key denominator that gets the kind of adult you want?\u201d\u2014<em>do you know what it was?!<\/em>\u2014four mealtimes per week together as a family. \u201c<em>What<\/em>?! It wasn\u2019t their education?\u201d\u2014nope! \u201cIt wasn\u2019t the sports they were in?\u201d\u2014nope! It was: \u201cDo you ever sit down as a family and say, \u2018This matters.\u2019\u201d More than all this other stuff that the culture is saying you\u2019ve got to do\u2014\u201cThis\u2026\u201d and \u201cThis\u2026\u201d\u2014are you sitting down, as a family, and talking about each other and talking about your relationship with God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow about this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019ve got to seize bedtime; seize bedtime!\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tLying in bed with your kids, reading Bible stories, listening to Bible stories, talking about the Word of God, talking about your struggles in life when they\u2019re little toddlers and when they\u2019re older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you don\u2019t know this, but when we started Kensington\u20141990\u2014that was Ann\u2019s and my ten-year anniversary. You guys know about the ten-year; right? If you\u2019ve read <em>Vertical Marriage, <\/em>Chapters 1 and 2 are about the ten-year anniversary\u20141990\u2014when she said, \u201cI\u2019ve lost my feelings for you.\u201d That\u2019s the year we started Kensington! I realized, \u201cShe is not getting my time!\u201d And \u201cI have three little boys at home, and I\u2019m not there at night when she\u2019s putting them to bed, seizing bedtime to pray with them and read Scripture with them. I\u2019m gone!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the thing\u2014Steve Andrews was in trouble in his marriage as well\u2014and we are starting this church. Both of us asked our wives: \u201cIf you could pick morning or evening, when do you need us here the most?\u201d They both said, \u201cevening.\u201d We stood in front of Kensington, a small church at the time; and we both said, \u201cHey, we need to be home with our families at night, putting our little boys to bed and helping our wives. If you want to meet with us, we\u2019re <em>not<\/em> going to be available to you in the evenings; only in the mornings: four a.m., five a.m., six a.m. Schedule appointments; we\u2019ll meet with you, but not the evening.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can tell you, 29 years later, it was worth it being there when he [Cody] is three, and four, and five. And he probably doesn\u2019t even remember it, but I do! I blinked, and now I have a legacy. Again, not perfectly; but I remember Austin, my middle son, right before his wedding night\u2014he spent his wedding night in our house\u2014and we got on our knees, right in front of his bed. Ann said to him, \u201cAustin, what are you going to miss most as you get married?\u201d He didn\u2019t even blink; he goes, \u201cThis; praying every night with you guys,\u201d\u2014when he was four, five, fifteen, eighteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is <em>so critical <\/em>to honor God and create an atmosphere of bending the knee and showing value to the most important Person ever. Again, if you\u2019re not doing it, it\u2019s going to be hard for them to catch it. It\u2019s simply an <em>overflow<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I have all kinds of things in here! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tYou know: \u201cLeverage your drive time.\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn was just the best! They were driving to school, and she is praying out loud. They would hear her praying, like, \u201cHere\u2019s what it\u2019s like to talk with God.\u201d That gets caught. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the other things I wrote down is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cMan, you need to intentionally choose a date night!\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think, \u201cI\u2019ve got to be with my kids all the time.\u201d No! You don\u2019t! One of the best things you can do is hand your kids\u2014are you listening to me, Jenna and Cody?\u2014hand your kids to their grandparents and go out on a date! [Laughter] You need to pour\u2014how many times have we said that to you guys already?\u2014they\u2019re young parents. We say, \u201cGive us Bryce; go away for two or three hours!\u201d It\u2019s <em>hard<\/em> for young parents to do that! It\u2019s like, \u201cThis is my pride and joy! It\u2019s my precious! I\u2019m not going to give it to a <em>bald<\/em> guy,\u201d who they don\u2019t think can do anything! [Laughter] We\u2019ve raised a few; we know what we\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like: \u201cGet somebody! Get out!\u201d You\u2019re saying to your kids, \u201cDating and marriage is really important.\u201d What are you doing?\u2014you\u2019re honoring your marriage\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s <em>very <\/em>valuable. Your mom is really valuable\u2014she\u2019s actually more valuable than you\u2014because when you guys leave, she\u2019ll still be here; so I\u2019m going to honor her first, second to God.\u201d That\u2019s the whole first point; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second one\u2014so you honor God first\u2014secondly is what? Do you remember what I said?\u2014<em>each other. <\/em>And I\u2019m talking specifically at home. It\u2019s a simple point. Here\u2019s the thing: when your kids, when your extended family\u2014maybe your step-kids\u2014walk in your home, what do they feel? Do they feel they\u2019re valued? Because I\u2019ll tell you something! Everywhere else they go, they\u2019re told they\u2019re not valued. People are chopping them down at school\u2014why?\u2014because <em>they <\/em>want to feel significant, so it makes them feel significant to cut them down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere in their world do they walk in a place, and the second their foot goes in the door, they\u2019re like: \u201cI\u2019m <em>so glad <\/em>I\u2019m here; because here, they appreciate me! They see me; they respect me; they love me.\u201d Is that the atmosphere of your home? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tOne of the ways we really tried to do that was through our tongue: \u201cWhat are we <em>saying<\/em> to our boys? What are we <em>saying <\/em>to them?\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you, every parent should know this: \u201cYour boys need to know what?\u201d\u2014they have what it takes. It\u2019s at the core of their DNA: \u201cDo I have what it takes?\u201d \u201cDo I have what it takes?\u201d Everywhere they go, probably, they\u2019re being told, \u201cNo.\u201d Are they hearing from mom and dad\u2014or mom, or dad, or stepmom, or whoever\u2014are they hearing, \u201cYou\u2019ve got what it takes, son! I see <em>greatness<\/em> in you. You\u2019ve got it!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGirls need to know what?\u2014they\u2019re loved and cherished as they are\u2014do you hear me?\u2014as they are! Not if they have this beauty or if they hit this intellectual [mark]. No, no, no!\u2014just as you are. Why?\u2014\u201cYou\u2019re made in the image of God. You\u2019re a Wilson. You are valued!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey should feel this every day, like, \u201cMom and Dad, they honor each other.\u201d Brother and sister\u2014we had rules in our home: \u201cYou\u2019re <em>not <\/em>allowed to use names,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not allowed to talk down to one another.\u201d Now, we didn\u2019t do that perfectly, but that was the standard; it\u2019s like: \u201cThat isn\u2019t allowed\u2026\u201d The tongue is very important; we tried to teach and model: \u201cShow honor to <em>all<\/em> people,\u201d\u2014no matter what struggle they may be going through\u2014but especially your own children: \u201cDo they <em>feel <\/em>honored in their own home?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know some of you are like: \u201cYes, but I\u2019ve got to speak the truth! I\u2019ve got to tell them how they\u2019ve <em>missed<\/em> it.\u201d Yes, you do; yes, you do. That\u2019s an important part of being an adult and a parent. You have to honor them by speaking the truth at times. Let me tell you something\u2014you know this\u2014if you\u2019re always speaking negative, negative, negative, and then you bring another negative, it doesn\u2019t land; but if you\u2019re speaking positive\u2014life, affirmation, respect\u2014because you\u2019re saying stuff to them nobody\u2019s saying to them: \u201cYou\u2019re great,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re great, \u201cYou\u2019ve got an amazing future!\u201d \u201cI love you,\u201d \u201cI see you,\u201d \u201cI cherish you,\u201d\u2014and <em>then <\/em>you bring truth\u2014they\u2019ll receive it much better [than] if you\u2019re never doing it [showing honor].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you hear me? That\u2019s what honor looks like! They feel this almost all the time: \u201cOh, you\u2019re awesome! You\u2019re incredible.\u201d I could tell you story after story of my wife doing that with these guys. And I\u2019m thinking they\u2019ll remember this like: \u201cHonor, honor, honor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so the first one: \u201cHonor God\u201d; the second one, \u201cHonor each other\u201d; and final: \u201cHonor your neighbor.\u201d What does that mean? It\u2019s really a big picture. I don\u2019t have time to develop this\u2014it\u2019s a whole other series\u2014but God didn\u2019t institute your family just for you to be self-focused and be all about <em>you.<\/em> He instituted your family\u2014here\u2019s the big picture\u2014your family is a vehicle God instituted to take the gospel through you and your legacy and your generations to the world; do you get it? It\u2019s much bigger than you. It\u2019s not even <em>about <\/em>you! It\u2019s about you impacting the world <em>through <\/em>what God does through the parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re a first-generation Christian family. My parents weren\u2019t Christians; Ann\u2019s [parents weren\u2019t.] We\u2019re the <em>starters<\/em> of a new legacy, and here\u2019s the next generation; they\u2019ve got to continue it. That\u2019s God\u2019s design: \u201cHave children, that are not just children, but a godly legacy that will impact the world.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut let me just close with this, because the beauty of the family\u2014and again, it is <em>so hard<\/em> and so messed up\u2014and sometimes\/some of you are sitting here, like man, you\u2019ve been so hurt by your family that you can\u2019t even think about how you would <em>honor<\/em> your family. A woman came up to me, right at the front door after the first service, and she said, \u201cI\u2019ve just got to say this to you.\u201d And I was like, \u201cWhat?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, no,\u201d\u2014you know, when they say it like that, it\u2019s like, \u201cHere comes the critique,\u201d\u2014she goes, \u201cTwelve years ago, you shared a message about family, and it had some of the similar idea of honoring your family.\u201d She said, \u201cI was sitting there, thinking, \u2018I have grown up in the <em>worst<\/em> family ever.\u2019\u201d She was in tears, saying to me, \u201cEvery day of my life, my dad said, \u2018You\u2019re no good,\u2019 every day! And you\u2019re up there saying, \u2018You need to honor your family.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cYou made one comment I\u2019ve never forgotten; and I think it saved my life.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat did I say?\u201d She said, \u201cOne of the ways you can honor a family that\u2019s been really difficult is you need to choose to <em>forgive<\/em> that family.\u201d She goes, \u201cThat day, I said, \u2018Okay, I\u2019m going to start that journey.\u2019\u201d She has since forgiven. She goes, \u201cIt freed me from the past to the present; and now, as a mom, to a new legacy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo some of you, that might be the way to start\u2014the way to bend the knee\u2014and again, you can\u2019t do this without the power of God. Ask God: \u201cGod, give me the power to honor somebody who <em>doesn\u2019t deserve it.<\/em>\u201d You don\u2019t love them; you don\u2019t even like them\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter\u2014honor is: \u201cOhh! I\u2019m going to honor them and break <em>free<\/em> to a new future.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening today\u2014and Dave, you gave this sermon back in 2019\u2014you ended in a place that\u2019s like, \u201cOh, man! This is hard,\u201d because you ended with forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and the amazing thing is I didn\u2019t plan to end there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This woman came up to me after the first service; we do three services on Sunday. I don\u2019t even remember the message she\u2019s referring to years before, but I do know this. I had to do the same thing to my biological family: forgive my dad for leaving; forgive my mom. I mean, we <em>all<\/em> have things in our family that are not perfect\/that are hurtful. And we have to make a choice to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we <em>don\u2019t, <\/em>it\u2019s very difficult to change the legacy for <em>our<\/em> family, like now that <em>we\u2019re<\/em> parents. I don\u2019t think we could have raised our boys the way we did\u2014again, not perfectly\u2014but if I had never broken <em>free<\/em> from the bitterness and resentment I had toward my parents, I would have never been able to be the dad that my kids needed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I remember what you were like before you forgave them: you had anger issues; there was a bitterness to you every time the name of your family would come up. You struggled with that. I see you now, and because of your forgiveness, <em>you <\/em>have been set free. Now, you\u2019re free to continue a <em>new<\/em> legacy instead of continuing an old legacy that was kind of\/it was just a really hard legacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I know there are families\u2014there are husbands; there are wives; moms and dads\u2014listening right now, maybe children, who are carrying what I carried;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And they feel like, \u201cMy family\u2014if you knew what happened to me, you\u2019d realize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cThey don\u2019t <em>deserve<\/em> to be forgiven.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And they don\u2019t! And you and I don\u2019t deserve to be forgiven either by Jesus, and we are. It\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> gift that we are forgiven. As forgiven people, we have a choice to forgive people. I mean, the biggest place to start\u2014and maybe the <em>hardest<\/em>\u2014is to start with your family. I mean, that wound is <em>deep. <\/em>We said it earlier, but it\u2019s emotional. I know, because I felt it; but I also know, I\u2019m <em>free<\/em> because I forgave my dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and you can see that freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me add this: I think many of us need to <em>receive <\/em>the forgiveness that Jesus offers us. Maybe we\u2019ve done things that have injured our family\u2014we\u2019ve hurt our kids; we\u2019ve hurt our spouse\u2014and I think we\u2019re plagued with this shame and self-hatred. Jesus set us free and has forgiven us. We need to receive that forgiveness and let ourselves go free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I would maybe add this: \u201cIf this message has touched your life, maybe there\u2019s somebody else who needs to hear it as well;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s one of those that you could send them the link and let God work in their family as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of the day, if we could live out what today was all about\u2014honor\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014honor God first; honor your family or your spouse second; and then, honor others. I\u2019m telling you: you\u2019re going to produce a family that others want to be around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, no!\u2014not perfect\u2014but man, honor is a magnet; it draws people to you. They want to know how you can honor and how you can live in forgiveness. And you get to point them to the Author, who is God Himself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As Dave was talking about sharing a link of this message with others, I was thinking about people I know who would benefit from hearing what Dave and Ann shared today. We\u2019ve got the link he was talking about on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. In fact, <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is available on-demand as a podcast. If you\u2019re a regular podcast listener, spread the word about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to other people you know who might benefit from hearing this program. And one of the best things you can do for us is to leave feedback about the podcast; it helps spread the word. So podcast listeners, do that if you will. If you want to share the link for today\u2019s program with somebody, go FamilyLifeToday.com, and the link is available there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also find information about Dave and Ann\u2019s books, which are called <em>Vertical Marriage <\/em>and <em>No Perfect Parents. <\/em>These are <em>wonderful<\/em> books about marriage and parenting that you can read for yourself or pass along as gifts to others. You can order the books from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. The number to call if you\u2019d like to order either of the books from the Wilsons is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have got a big weekend happening here at FamilyLife. We\u2019ve got thousands of couples who will be joining us for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaway in Sioux Falls, South Dakota; in Irving, Texas, just outside Dallas; in Monterey, California; South Padre Island in Texas; Coeur d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Estes Park, Colorado. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who\u2019s the president of FamilyLife, is here with me today. David, these weekends away for couples are so transformative\/so revolutionary in the lives of all of the coupes who attend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; we know the challenges that have been on marriages through this pandemic, and we\u2019re seeing <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em> produce a ton of fruit: of God meeting people in their time of need and in wedges they feel in their own personal lives, with their spouse. I just want to take a moment, as Bob said, to ask you to pray. This is a spiritual work. You know, we can present God\u2019s timeless truth; but God is the One who allows hearts to be soft in order to receive what He wants to do in a couple\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you take a moment right now and pray that God would work mightily in the truly thousands of people who are coming to these getaways this weekend? Would you ask that God would meet people and show them their need for Jesus, and to work mightily to meet them in their time of need?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if you\u2019d like to find out more about our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; the information is available there. And to those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife, you\u2019re the ones who make these getaways possible for other couples; so thank you for your investment in their lives and in their marriages. We are grateful, and we appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend! Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. We hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about some of the issues that are pressing against the faith of our teenagers and our young adults. Rebecca McLaughlin is going to join us to talk about answers to the questions about faith and life that most young people are grappling with today. We hope you can be here for that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We\u2019ll see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307288"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307288"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307288"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307288"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}