{"id":307284,"date":"2021-11-03T10:00:37","date_gmt":"2021-11-03T14:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/screens-and-our-health\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T10:00:37","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T14:00:37","slug":"screens-and-our-health","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/screens-and-our-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Screens and Our Health"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you know that screens can actually affect your health? David Murrow shares the good, bad, and unexpected effects of screen usage and how to make healthy choices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:21","filesize":"25.96M","filesize_raw":"27224607","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10350,2089],"tags":[4294,4237],"podcast_series":[8485],"cwp_profile":[8994],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307284","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-and-media-choices","category-media-and-entertainment","tag-family","tag-technology","podcast_series-drowning-in-screen-time","cwp_profile-david-murrow","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307284\/screens-and-our-health","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307284\/screens-and-our-health","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Dmnw4ZhDWo\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/screens-and-our-health\/\">Screens and Our Health<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/screens-and-our-health\/embed\/#?secret=Dmnw4ZhDWo\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Screens and Our Health&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Dmnw4ZhDWo\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, I\u2019ve told you this a couple of times; but I don\u2019t think you\u2019ve ever heard me\u2014something that really <em>bugs<\/em> me when we get in the car\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh no! Yes, I know what you\u2019re going to say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what it is; don\u2019t you?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I always defend myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You always defend yourself and deny it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> What is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I get in the car, and you\u2019re driving, I get on my phone to catch up with all the things that I have not caught up on that day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014texts\/with emails; and you <em>hate<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m all excited; we\u2019re in a car together. I\u2019ve been working on my phone, probably in the house, because it\u2019s <em>work<\/em>. Then we get in the car; I\u2019m like, \u201cOh good, we get to talk.\u201d I look over, and <em>almost<\/em> every time, she is like deleting emails and responding to texts. Then I\u2019m like, \u201cYou always complain about me, and this is <em>my<\/em> time.\u201d It doesn\u2019t seem to work; so finally, I get to say something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry. I know; I <em>know<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are you going to <em>repent<\/em> or just confess? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I will <em>repent<\/em>; I will make a conscious effort and talk to Jesus about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s okay; we just need to get some help with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got help sitting across the table from us in the studio; David Murrow is back with us. David is the author of <em>Why Men Hate Church<\/em>, which was a blockbuster book \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t15 years ago, something like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, 2005. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And this book, too, is something that is really helpful. It will have a great impact on our churches, on our homes, on our families, and on our society. This one is called <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019re looking at me, like I\u2019m drowning in screen time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wanted you to read the subtitle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, the subtitle is really interesting; because I think it\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re hoping to help people with\u2014<em>A Lifeline<\/em>\u2014so this book can be\u2014<em>A Lifeline for Adults, Parents, Teachers, and Ministers Who Want to Reclaim Their Real Lives<\/em>. Obviously, in that subtitle, you are getting at what\u2019s going on; we\u2019ve been talking about it this week. We\u2019ve sort of lost our real lives, often, because we live in a\u2014not a fantasy\u2014but a screen world that isn\u2019t real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s been real interesting. One of the things you do in there is you talk about five parables\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that you sort of use to teach different things. One of them\/we were talking earlier about the four brothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Okay; so I tell this story of four brothers, who lived on a farm. They ate what their hands and fields produced. Well, then the farm fell on hard times and had to be sold; so the four brothers moved to the city, where they found exotic new foods. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe first brother, who we call Moderate Mike, continued to eat the same foods in the same amounts; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe second brother, called Excessive Eddie, ate healthy foods, but in larger quantities, because they were now more available;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe third brother, named Dishonorable Dan, adopted the city dwellers unhealthy diet;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthen the fourth brother, who I called Addicted Albert, ate all foods in excess. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, over time, Addicted Albert became ill, while Excessive Eddie and Dishonorable Dan saw their health diminished; but Moderate Mike remained fit and vigorous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell this story as a diagnostic tool. Screen time is not the same for everyone: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tSome people are Moderate Mike\u2014they can watch a few TV shows; they can check their email\u2014they are still heavily invested in real life, and it\u2019s a healthy activity for them. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tNow, some people are like Excessive Eddie. They are not watching bad content, but they watch <em>too much<\/em>. As I mentioned in one of our earlier segments, the average American watches <em>nine<\/em> hours of screen content for entertainment every day. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Most of us are Excessive Eddies. We\u2019re not necessarily watching pornography, or <em>Game of Thrones<\/em>, or any of these really nasty television shows. There is too much, and it\u2019s making us spiritually fat as it were. We are gaining excess calories that we don\u2019t need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tBut there are a lot of us, who would be like Dishonorable Dan, the third brother, who eats unhealthy foods. Those would be the pornography and the degrading and cruel content that is so available. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAddicted Albert would be our fourth brother. He is the guy who just went hog wild on everything; that would be the complete screen addict. We are seeing this a lot with young men, who are addicted to video game playing or pornography; young women, who are experiencing social media addictions or high levels of anxiety. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tWhich brother are <em>you<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you Moderate Mike?\u2014are you managing your screen time well? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you Excessive Eddie?\u2014you\u2019re not watching the bad stuff, but you\u2019re watching too much; you\u2019re on your screen too much. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you like the third brother, Dishonorable Dan?\u2014are you dabbling in things that are dragging you down spiritually?\u2014are you inflaming people on social media and getting angry and cruel on social media? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tOr are you Addicted Albert?\u2014is it completely overwhelming your life? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Can we assess that ourselves, or does someone else have to assess it?\u2014like an alcoholic, he has a really hard time admitting, for a long time, maybe, that he even has a drinking problem. So can we <em>see<\/em> it in ourselves? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I think it\u2019s a combination of both. Step One in Alcoholics Anonymous is admitting you are powerless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I think there is a role of self-examination and admission that has to come first. The key is, if you hear that from someone else, you\u2019ve got the courage to acknowledge it, and exam your own heart, and take it to the Lord in prayer and say, \u201cIs this really true?\u201d I would imagine, most of the time, it would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re on your screen five-and-a-half hours a day, what are you <em>not<\/em> doing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014that you would have been doing in 1980 or 1990? What would those five hours have been devoted to? I think, for many of us who follow Jesus, there certainly would have been more prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There would have been more awareness of people around us, who need to know the Lord or who have needs that we can meet. I think a lot of the weakness in our churches today is being brought on by screen time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s the fact that people are simply not aware of the needs around them; they are not praying in the Spirit; they are not <em>seeing<\/em> what God is doing in the world, because their eyes are on certain websites. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; you know, when I hear you go through the four brothers, I\u2019m immediately like, \u201cI\u2019m Excessive Eddie.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; I am too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m like: \u201cThat\u2019s not a problem,\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s no big deal.\u201d Yet, I\u2019ve had\u2014like I said earlier\u2014I had a six-year-old granddaughter tell me I spend too much time on my screen; I\u2019ve had my wife say that. Yet, I just sort of smirk and go, \u201cYes, I\u2019m Excessive Eddie. It\u2019s no big deal\u201d; but it <em>is<\/em> a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is Excessive Eddie a gateway drug? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> In some cases, it is; because the two brothers, who ate foods in excess or ate unhealthy foods: \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t it be a good thing to have <em>more<\/em>? I mean, if I enjoy video gaming for two hours, why shouldn\u2019t I game for four hours?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I know I was walking somewhere yesterday, and my phone wasn\u2019t in my pocket. I literally was like, \u201cOh!\u201d I just felt like there was an appendage of my body that is not with me right now. It\u2019s <em>that<\/em> prevalent in my life that it\u2019s always in my left pocket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There is actually a clinical term, nomophobia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What\u2019s that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s the fear of being disconnected from your phone\u2014nomophobia. Then there is another one like it called textaphrenia\u2014that\u2019s when you feel phantom buzzes in your pocket\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cOh, I must have got a\u2026.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I didn\u2019t get a text. I didn\u2019t get a text.\u201d You actually imagine yourself getting texts and getting notifications and stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is just <em>scary<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s a wonderful invention on one hand; but it\u2019s easy to become enslaved by it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> One of the things I tell people\u2014you know, we were talking about the buzzes and everything\u2014\u201cIf you really want to eliminate a lot of the mindless screen time in your life, turn the notifications off on your phone.\u201d I\u2019ll get text notifications; I get maps; my travel apps\u2014like airlines that I fly on\u2014I definitely want to know if the plane is going to fly; but other than that, I\u2019ve got everything pretty much turned off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I like\/I love your one chapter title, \u201cSleepier, Fatter, and Sicker: What Screens Are Doing to Our Bodies.\u201d What are they doing to our bodies? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> So in 1960, at the advent\u2014really when television\u201485 percent of homes had televisions for the first time; the average woman weighed, I think, 140 pounds. The average man was about 162. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Whoa! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Today, the average woman is 162, and the average man is 180 or 190. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, you\u2019re not saying that is <em>screens<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>Yes<\/em>, because we\u2019re <em>sitting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> In 1940, when we came home, we turned on the radio; we listened to <em>Jack Benny<\/em>. While you are listening to the radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019re doing stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014you can move around; right? Well, then, with television, it immobilized your body. Then things got worse in the 1970s; we got these things called VCRs. Do you remember those? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, now, even the commercial breaks are gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Then the devil created something even worse, which is called the wireless remote. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes\u2014straight from the pit of hell this thing\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because now, you can sit there and channel surf, change the volume, change the input on your TV, and <em>never<\/em> move anything except <em>one<\/em> finger\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014all of this immobility after work. Plus, it\u2019s other things, too: it\u2019s calorie-dense processed foods; it\u2019s labor-saving devices like washing machines and garage door openers. Probably the number-one reason we are so fat these days is because we come home from work\u2014we\u2019re exhausted; we sit down on the couch\u2014and we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> move. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> All of what you said is true. Yet, you play this game in your mind; it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, I have a fitness app on my phone, and I count my calories.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014if you use it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But the stats are saying it\u2019s not working for most of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> No; we are also sleepier because we now have these devices that are keeping us up at night. Back to the 1940s\/in 1940, the average American slept like 7.9 hours. Now, that\u2019s down to like 6.8\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014because we are on our various devices into the night. All the screen things that we are addicted to never end. Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and social media scrolls indefinitely. There are no stopping cues that tell us it\u2019s time to stop using our screens; that is by design. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve talked about being fatter, sleepier. Let\u2019s talk about sicker, because you mention that as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; we are seeing lots of affects, from carpel tunnel to neck injuries from people looking down on their screens. I mean, your head is heavy; and it\u2019s meant to ride upright on your neck. But if you are constantly looking at your phone, you\u2019re tilted at about 60 degrees; so we\u2019re seeing, actually, a lot of injuries. We\u2019re seeing eye-strain injuries from people looking at their screens eight\/nine hours a day. We\u2019re meant to look at a world that is around us in three-dimensions. We\u2019re not meant to look at a glowing panel in two-dimensions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You have a chapter called \u201cSwipe Left: How Screens Are Weakening Relationships.\u201d We\u2019re a family and marriage program, so it\u2019s all about relationships. Help us; how is this weakening our relationships? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> If you think about a typical young man or young woman in times past, a lot of their marriages were arranged; or it was just the people in the village; that was their dating pool as it were. Even when the modern dating started in the Roaring \u201820s, you still met people at church; you met them in the office; you might know a few dozen singles that were available for dating or mating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, now, with online dating, you have literally thousands of potential mates and dates available to you. You see these people on your screen. If you use an app like Tinder<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014I hope you don\u2019t\u2014but you can swipe left if you don\u2019t like them or swipe right if you do. You try to make contact with them. What it does is it gives our brains the impression that there are <em>zillions<\/em> of people out there that we can meet, so it makes us less likely to commit. We\u2019re seeing this. A lot of young adults are postponing marriage; they are postponing commitment. They have this impression that: \u201cHey, there are so many fish in the sea. Why would I want to catch one?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also leading to a lot of promiscuity. You know, Tinder is the hookup app. That\u2019s one of the reasons why we are seeing the marriage age\u2014the average age of first marriage going way, way up\u2014in 1960, the average woman married at age 20; and the average man married at 22. Today, it\u2019s 27 and 29. It may be even higher than that, post-pandemic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of this perceived surplus of mates is suppressing the marriage rate, causing men not to commit and making it actually harder for women to find a long-term\u2014or men who are interested in a long-term relationship\u2014it\u2019s making it harder for them to find long-term partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I also wonder if\u2014as they are in their marriage, and they are struggling, as every marriage does\u2014but they could always have back in their mind, maybe, somebody that they swiped a certain way and think, \u201cHmm, maybe, that was the one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> People do this in dating all the time. I know people, who have been ghosted <em>mid-date<\/em>. If it\u2019s not going well, the man gets up, excuses himself; and he swipes for another hookup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> This sort of stuff goes on all the time. Screens are really distorting the dating market that was really meant to be rather small. It\u2019s just now so enormous that people are not committing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How important is it for us, as parents, to <em>model<\/em> good use of screens? I mean, are we modeling for our kids good and bad? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Two words that sound very similar are the key to this: monitoring and modeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s interesting; I was going to ask you about monitoring too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So let\u2019s talk about both of those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I would say modeling is primary. If you are on your screen six hours a day\u2014if the first thing you do when you get home\u2014is plop down and play video games or spend an inordinate amount of time, in front of your kids, on your iPad, then you\u2019ve got to get your house in order. Just like you were saying with your granddaughter\u2014get your own house in order first\u2014because your kids are going to do what they <em>see<\/em> and not what you tell them to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Once you do that, you need to put monitoring tools in place. Now, there are technological tools that monitor your kids\u2019 screen use that are very helpful\u2014there are whole-house internet monitoring tools; there are things you can put on the phone\u2014but you need to know what your kids are consuming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be that predators hung out in the bushes. Today, they hang out on social media. The real danger to your kids is not an unlocked door; it\u2019s an unmonitored digital device. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So many of us, as parents, think of the unlocked door; you know what I mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy. You can\u2019t let your ten-year-old go down to the park and play alone. We did that all as kids; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> But you know, it\u2019s: \u201cThey\u2019re going to be snatched.\u201d The predators are online. They are not at the park, because online you can stalk <em>hundreds<\/em> of kids at once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I tell a <em>horrifying<\/em> story in the book that was written up in a magazine about a woman, who goes online, posing as a 13\/14-year-old girl. She uses software to change her appearance to look like this girl. She posts an Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, a brand-new Instagram profile. Literally, within three minutes, 15 adult men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Come on! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u201415 adult men have asked her for her phone number. I mean, if these things happened in the analog world, it would be: \u201cStop the presses.\u201d We\u2019d call the police; there would be non-stop coverage on the news. But these abuses are largely unreported in the screen world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, I\u2019m thinking of moms with daughters; I\u2019m thinking of my granddaughters. That is <em>staggering<\/em>. Yet, we would <em>never<\/em> go to bed at night with all of our doors unlocked, our windows open; we would be vigilant to protect our children. And yet, they have these devices that, when parents know that, like help us know: \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, there is monitoring software. Bark is one of them that is really good that I recommend at my website, DavidMurrow.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Bark, like a dog barking? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Bark, like a dog. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It barks when your kid\u2014when somebody tries to come after your kid\u2014that\u2019s why they named it that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t literally. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, but it; but it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> But you don\u2019t have to clean up after it either. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s <em>good<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There are a number of these. Disney<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has one\u2014I don\u2019t know if I can recommend that\u2014but I know they have one. There are software packages out there that will help you. But the best thing is: your 13-year-old should <em>not<\/em> be on Instagram. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Boy, they should <em>never<\/em> be on something like Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or something where the pictures disappear; because that\u2019s where sexting starts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann<\/strong>: Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, and I\u2019m thinking, as we talk to parents about this: \u201cIt\u2019s on <em>you<\/em>. <em>You<\/em> are in control. This is your\/you have the power to control this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You write in your book\u2014I love how you say it\u2014you said: \u201cIt\u2019s very important that your kids know every screen belongs to the parents. Access to screen content is with parental permission and remains under their control. Parents will keep all passwords to their apps. Let the kids know you will be checking their phones regularly to keep them safe and have unlimited access anytime of the day or night.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, that\u2019s just a word of advice: \u201cParents, this is your job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> out of control\u2014we can control and monitor these devices in our homes\u2014and we, not only can, we <em>need<\/em> to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s like, if you get two mice in your house, pretty soon you\u2019re going to have an infestation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You don\u2019t want to let this mouse into your house; you need to get in control of this early. The kids need to have this expectation from the beginning: \u201cEvery digital device, every screen, every television, every iPad, every phone\u2014all of these belong to me as long as you are under my roof.\u201d They need to know: \u201cThis is because I am protecting you. There are people out there, who want to harm you, and who can reach out to you through these devices. I am <em>not<\/em> going to allow you to be harmed. I am going to protect you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is out of love. I think you are right, David; these conversations should be happening when our kids are younger. They should be ongoing\u2014that we are talking about them at the dinner table\u2014that it is no surprise; we <em>are<\/em> educating our kids what is happening in the digital world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, that we are <em>praying<\/em> about this\u2014like we go before God\u2014we ask Him, \u201cLord, protect our kids; protect our hearts; protect our minds; and protect our bodies.\u201d Be in God\u2019s Word, because that\u2019s where true life comes from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think the Lord will also say to us: \u201cAnd I put you to be their protector. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI will protect, but <em>you<\/em> have been given that job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to a parent: \u201cI know you probably know this; but if you have not been doing this, and as a result of these programs, you decide, \u2018I\u2019m taking back my home,\u2019\u2014there is going to be a revolt; it\u2019s not going to go easy\u2014they are going to be\/your kids are just going to freak out; but you have to win that battle, because you are protecting them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> And you have to replace it with something better\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014with something better\u2014Cold Stone [ice cream]\u2014bribe them, whatever it takes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s good. Bribing works in this case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Get the mouse out of the house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>One of the things I advise parents to do is to do a formal screen use plan while baby is in the womb. Start it as soon as possible: \u201cThis is how we are going to implement screens.\u201d The American Academy of Pediatrics has one that is actually very good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to be putting one up on my website very soon at DavidMurrow.com that parents can go through, that they can print out, that they can say: \u201cThis is how many hours we are going to have the television on,\u201d \u201cThis is when we are going to turn the thing off,\u201d \u201cThis is how we are going to be using the internet in our house.\u201d From the time the kid is very little, they just know, \u201cThese are the policies.\u201d They\u2019ll see it as normal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know a lot of kids who are starting to see the advantages of coming unplugged from the internet. Do you know what is really cool right now?\u2014flip phones. Kids in junior high are carrying around\u2014and even high school\u2014are carrying around flip phones. I think there is a growing realization, among the young, that we are using our screens too much. We are misusing\u2014we\u2019re becoming Excessive Eddies and Addicted Alberts\u2014they don\u2019t want to be that. Young people want health, just like we do\/we adults do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Proverbs 4:23 says, \u201cGuard your heart.\u201d I think that we need to guard our hearts and our children\u2019s hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, this has been great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This has been <em>super<\/em> helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s been my pleasure. Thank you for having me on the show. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The verse that comes to mind for me, as I listen to Dave and Ann Wilson talk today with David Murrow about our screens, is a verse in 1 Corinthians 6, where the Apostle Paul says, \u201cAll things are lawful for me but not all things are helpful.\u201d All things are lawful for me, but I will not be <em>dominated<\/em> by anything. I think we all have to ask the question: \u201cHave we become <em>dominated<\/em> by our screens? They are <em>lawful<\/em>, but are they profitable?\u201d That\u2019s what is at the heart of this conversation\u2014and it\u2019s not just for those of us raising the next generation\u2014it\u2019s for any of us who have access to screens. We all need to be asking ourselves this question about our devices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, what David Murrow has written in his book called <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em> is so helpful we want to make it available to you this week as a way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d when you join with us to help advance the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. This radio program, our website, our resources, our events\u2014none of that would happen\u2014if it weren\u2019t for listeners like you, who say, \u201cThis is important; this matters. I want to see this ministry continue and to grow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you invest in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> by making a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY, you are joining with us to help effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s our mission. When you do that, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of David Murrow\u2019s book, <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em>. You can request it when you donate, again, online at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you donate by calling 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as we\u2019ve said today, technology is not bad; it\u2019s a tool. We just want to make sure we are using it wisely and that it is not dominating our lives. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, as a ministry, we are trying to utilize screens and technology as effectively as we can to help promote and advance the ministry of the gospel; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely. It allows us to get the gospel and the biblical principles of marriage and family to more people and to more homes. That\u2019s why we\u2019ve spent a lot of time and energy on improving our FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have not checked it out recently\u2014Bob, I\u2019ve learned that the ideal time for me to listen to a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> show is at 1.4 speed\u2014that\u2019s available on our app; you can adjust it to whatever speed you want to listen to. It allows me to take my drive times that I have\u2014and instead of tuning into sports radio, which especially at this time of year, I am tempted to do\u2014it allows me to use 20 minutes that I have and to really feed my soul and to lift my eyes upward as I head home and invest in my kids. It\u2019s been a <em>great<\/em> resource to really <em>redeem<\/em> technology through this FamilyLife app that we keep improving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think Dave and Ann sound okay at 1.4 speed? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s my preference, Bob; that\u2019s all I\u2019m saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I do hope our listeners, if they have not already downloaded the FamilyLife app, go to your app store, search for FamilyLife as one word. The app is free; and it gives you access, not only to this daily program, but to lots of helpful content. Again, download the app and start using it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Dave and Ann Wilson about the difference between kind of the idealized family\u2014this image we have in our head of what perfect family life is supposed to be like\u2014and the real family life that all of us are dealing with. How do we strive for the ideal without being crushed by the fact that we never get there? We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow from Dave and Ann Wilson. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:21"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.96M"],"filesize_raw":["27224607"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307284.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307284.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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David Murrow shares the good, bad, and unexpected effects of screen usage and how to make healthy choices.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-11-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, I\u2019ve told you this a couple of times; but I don\u2019t think you\u2019ve ever heard me\u2014something that really <em>bugs<\/em> me when we get in the car\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh no! Yes, I know what you\u2019re going to say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what it is; don\u2019t you?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I always defend myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You always defend yourself and deny it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> What is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I get in the car, and you\u2019re driving, I get on my phone to catch up with all the things that I have not caught up on that day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014texts\/with emails; and you <em>hate<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m all excited; we\u2019re in a car together. I\u2019ve been working on my phone, probably in the house, because it\u2019s <em>work<\/em>. Then we get in the car; I\u2019m like, \u201cOh good, we get to talk.\u201d I look over, and <em>almost<\/em> every time, she is like deleting emails and responding to texts. Then I\u2019m like, \u201cYou always complain about me, and this is <em>my<\/em> time.\u201d It doesn\u2019t seem to work; so finally, I get to say something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry. I know; I <em>know<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are you going to <em>repent<\/em> or just confess? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I will <em>repent<\/em>; I will make a conscious effort and talk to Jesus about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s okay; we just need to get some help with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got help sitting across the table from us in the studio; David Murrow is back with us. David is the author of <em>Why Men Hate Church<\/em>, which was a blockbuster book \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t15 years ago, something like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, 2005. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And this book, too, is something that is really helpful. It will have a great impact on our churches, on our homes, on our families, and on our society. This one is called <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019re looking at me, like I\u2019m drowning in screen time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wanted you to read the subtitle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, the subtitle is really interesting; because I think it\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re hoping to help people with\u2014<em>A Lifeline<\/em>\u2014so this book can be\u2014<em>A Lifeline for Adults, Parents, Teachers, and Ministers Who Want to Reclaim Their Real Lives<\/em>. Obviously, in that subtitle, you are getting at what\u2019s going on; we\u2019ve been talking about it this week. We\u2019ve sort of lost our real lives, often, because we live in a\u2014not a fantasy\u2014but a screen world that isn\u2019t real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s been real interesting. One of the things you do in there is you talk about five parables\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that you sort of use to teach different things. One of them\/we were talking earlier about the four brothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Okay; so I tell this story of four brothers, who lived on a farm. They ate what their hands and fields produced. Well, then the farm fell on hard times and had to be sold; so the four brothers moved to the city, where they found exotic new foods. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe first brother, who we call Moderate Mike, continued to eat the same foods in the same amounts; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe second brother, called Excessive Eddie, ate healthy foods, but in larger quantities, because they were now more available;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthe third brother, named Dishonorable Dan, adopted the city dwellers unhealthy diet;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tthen the fourth brother, who I called Addicted Albert, ate all foods in excess. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, over time, Addicted Albert became ill, while Excessive Eddie and Dishonorable Dan saw their health diminished; but Moderate Mike remained fit and vigorous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell this story as a diagnostic tool. Screen time is not the same for everyone: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tSome people are Moderate Mike\u2014they can watch a few TV shows; they can check their email\u2014they are still heavily invested in real life, and it\u2019s a healthy activity for them. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tNow, some people are like Excessive Eddie. They are not watching bad content, but they watch <em>too much<\/em>. As I mentioned in one of our earlier segments, the average American watches <em>nine<\/em> hours of screen content for entertainment every day. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Most of us are Excessive Eddies. We\u2019re not necessarily watching pornography, or <em>Game of Thrones<\/em>, or any of these really nasty television shows. There is too much, and it\u2019s making us spiritually fat as it were. We are gaining excess calories that we don\u2019t need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tBut there are a lot of us, who would be like Dishonorable Dan, the third brother, who eats unhealthy foods. Those would be the pornography and the degrading and cruel content that is so available. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAddicted Albert would be our fourth brother. He is the guy who just went hog wild on everything; that would be the complete screen addict. We are seeing this a lot with young men, who are addicted to video game playing or pornography; young women, who are experiencing social media addictions or high levels of anxiety. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tWhich brother are <em>you<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you Moderate Mike?\u2014are you managing your screen time well? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you Excessive Eddie?\u2014you\u2019re not watching the bad stuff, but you\u2019re watching too much; you\u2019re on your screen too much. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tAre you like the third brother, Dishonorable Dan?\u2014are you dabbling in things that are dragging you down spiritually?\u2014are you inflaming people on social media and getting angry and cruel on social media? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tOr are you Addicted Albert?\u2014is it completely overwhelming your life? \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Can we assess that ourselves, or does someone else have to assess it?\u2014like an alcoholic, he has a really hard time admitting, for a long time, maybe, that he even has a drinking problem. So can we <em>see<\/em> it in ourselves? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I think it\u2019s a combination of both. Step One in Alcoholics Anonymous is admitting you are powerless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I think there is a role of self-examination and admission that has to come first. The key is, if you hear that from someone else, you\u2019ve got the courage to acknowledge it, and exam your own heart, and take it to the Lord in prayer and say, \u201cIs this really true?\u201d I would imagine, most of the time, it would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re on your screen five-and-a-half hours a day, what are you <em>not<\/em> doing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014that you would have been doing in 1980 or 1990? What would those five hours have been devoted to? I think, for many of us who follow Jesus, there certainly would have been more prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There would have been more awareness of people around us, who need to know the Lord or who have needs that we can meet. I think a lot of the weakness in our churches today is being brought on by screen time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s the fact that people are simply not aware of the needs around them; they are not praying in the Spirit; they are not <em>seeing<\/em> what God is doing in the world, because their eyes are on certain websites. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; you know, when I hear you go through the four brothers, I\u2019m immediately like, \u201cI\u2019m Excessive Eddie.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; I am too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m like: \u201cThat\u2019s not a problem,\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s no big deal.\u201d Yet, I\u2019ve had\u2014like I said earlier\u2014I had a six-year-old granddaughter tell me I spend too much time on my screen; I\u2019ve had my wife say that. Yet, I just sort of smirk and go, \u201cYes, I\u2019m Excessive Eddie. It\u2019s no big deal\u201d; but it <em>is<\/em> a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is Excessive Eddie a gateway drug? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> In some cases, it is; because the two brothers, who ate foods in excess or ate unhealthy foods: \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t it be a good thing to have <em>more<\/em>? I mean, if I enjoy video gaming for two hours, why shouldn\u2019t I game for four hours?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I know I was walking somewhere yesterday, and my phone wasn\u2019t in my pocket. I literally was like, \u201cOh!\u201d I just felt like there was an appendage of my body that is not with me right now. It\u2019s <em>that<\/em> prevalent in my life that it\u2019s always in my left pocket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There is actually a clinical term, nomophobia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What\u2019s that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s the fear of being disconnected from your phone\u2014nomophobia. Then there is another one like it called textaphrenia\u2014that\u2019s when you feel phantom buzzes in your pocket\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cOh, I must have got a\u2026.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I didn\u2019t get a text. I didn\u2019t get a text.\u201d You actually imagine yourself getting texts and getting notifications and stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is just <em>scary<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s a wonderful invention on one hand; but it\u2019s easy to become enslaved by it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> One of the things I tell people\u2014you know, we were talking about the buzzes and everything\u2014\u201cIf you really want to eliminate a lot of the mindless screen time in your life, turn the notifications off on your phone.\u201d I\u2019ll get text notifications; I get maps; my travel apps\u2014like airlines that I fly on\u2014I definitely want to know if the plane is going to fly; but other than that, I\u2019ve got everything pretty much turned off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I like\/I love your one chapter title, \u201cSleepier, Fatter, and Sicker: What Screens Are Doing to Our Bodies.\u201d What are they doing to our bodies? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> So in 1960, at the advent\u2014really when television\u201485 percent of homes had televisions for the first time; the average woman weighed, I think, 140 pounds. The average man was about 162. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Whoa! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Today, the average woman is 162, and the average man is 180 or 190. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, you\u2019re not saying that is <em>screens<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>Yes<\/em>, because we\u2019re <em>sitting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> In 1940, when we came home, we turned on the radio; we listened to <em>Jack Benny<\/em>. While you are listening to the radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019re doing stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014you can move around; right? Well, then, with television, it immobilized your body. Then things got worse in the 1970s; we got these things called VCRs. Do you remember those? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, now, even the commercial breaks are gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Then the devil created something even worse, which is called the wireless remote. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes\u2014straight from the pit of hell this thing\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because now, you can sit there and channel surf, change the volume, change the input on your TV, and <em>never<\/em> move anything except <em>one<\/em> finger\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014all of this immobility after work. Plus, it\u2019s other things, too: it\u2019s calorie-dense processed foods; it\u2019s labor-saving devices like washing machines and garage door openers. Probably the number-one reason we are so fat these days is because we come home from work\u2014we\u2019re exhausted; we sit down on the couch\u2014and we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> move. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> All of what you said is true. Yet, you play this game in your mind; it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, I have a fitness app on my phone, and I count my calories.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014if you use it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But the stats are saying it\u2019s not working for most of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> No; we are also sleepier because we now have these devices that are keeping us up at night. Back to the 1940s\/in 1940, the average American slept like 7.9 hours. Now, that\u2019s down to like 6.8\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014because we are on our various devices into the night. All the screen things that we are addicted to never end. Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and social media scrolls indefinitely. There are no stopping cues that tell us it\u2019s time to stop using our screens; that is by design. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve talked about being fatter, sleepier. Let\u2019s talk about sicker, because you mention that as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; we are seeing lots of affects, from carpel tunnel to neck injuries from people looking down on their screens. I mean, your head is heavy; and it\u2019s meant to ride upright on your neck. But if you are constantly looking at your phone, you\u2019re tilted at about 60 degrees; so we\u2019re seeing, actually, a lot of injuries. We\u2019re seeing eye-strain injuries from people looking at their screens eight\/nine hours a day. We\u2019re meant to look at a world that is around us in three-dimensions. We\u2019re not meant to look at a glowing panel in two-dimensions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You have a chapter called \u201cSwipe Left: How Screens Are Weakening Relationships.\u201d We\u2019re a family and marriage program, so it\u2019s all about relationships. Help us; how is this weakening our relationships? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> If you think about a typical young man or young woman in times past, a lot of their marriages were arranged; or it was just the people in the village; that was their dating pool as it were. Even when the modern dating started in the Roaring \u201820s, you still met people at church; you met them in the office; you might know a few dozen singles that were available for dating or mating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, now, with online dating, you have literally thousands of potential mates and dates available to you. You see these people on your screen. If you use an app like Tinder<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014I hope you don\u2019t\u2014but you can swipe left if you don\u2019t like them or swipe right if you do. You try to make contact with them. What it does is it gives our brains the impression that there are <em>zillions<\/em> of people out there that we can meet, so it makes us less likely to commit. We\u2019re seeing this. A lot of young adults are postponing marriage; they are postponing commitment. They have this impression that: \u201cHey, there are so many fish in the sea. Why would I want to catch one?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also leading to a lot of promiscuity. You know, Tinder is the hookup app. That\u2019s one of the reasons why we are seeing the marriage age\u2014the average age of first marriage going way, way up\u2014in 1960, the average woman married at age 20; and the average man married at 22. Today, it\u2019s 27 and 29. It may be even higher than that, post-pandemic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of this perceived surplus of mates is suppressing the marriage rate, causing men not to commit and making it actually harder for women to find a long-term\u2014or men who are interested in a long-term relationship\u2014it\u2019s making it harder for them to find long-term partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I also wonder if\u2014as they are in their marriage, and they are struggling, as every marriage does\u2014but they could always have back in their mind, maybe, somebody that they swiped a certain way and think, \u201cHmm, maybe, that was the one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> People do this in dating all the time. I know people, who have been ghosted <em>mid-date<\/em>. If it\u2019s not going well, the man gets up, excuses himself; and he swipes for another hookup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> This sort of stuff goes on all the time. Screens are really distorting the dating market that was really meant to be rather small. It\u2019s just now so enormous that people are not committing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How important is it for us, as parents, to <em>model<\/em> good use of screens? I mean, are we modeling for our kids good and bad? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Two words that sound very similar are the key to this: monitoring and modeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s interesting; I was going to ask you about monitoring too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So let\u2019s talk about both of those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I would say modeling is primary. If you are on your screen six hours a day\u2014if the first thing you do when you get home\u2014is plop down and play video games or spend an inordinate amount of time, in front of your kids, on your iPad, then you\u2019ve got to get your house in order. Just like you were saying with your granddaughter\u2014get your own house in order first\u2014because your kids are going to do what they <em>see<\/em> and not what you tell them to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Once you do that, you need to put monitoring tools in place. Now, there are technological tools that monitor your kids\u2019 screen use that are very helpful\u2014there are whole-house internet monitoring tools; there are things you can put on the phone\u2014but you need to know what your kids are consuming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be that predators hung out in the bushes. Today, they hang out on social media. The real danger to your kids is not an unlocked door; it\u2019s an unmonitored digital device. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So many of us, as parents, think of the unlocked door; you know what I mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy. You can\u2019t let your ten-year-old go down to the park and play alone. We did that all as kids; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> But you know, it\u2019s: \u201cThey\u2019re going to be snatched.\u201d The predators are online. They are not at the park, because online you can stalk <em>hundreds<\/em> of kids at once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I tell a <em>horrifying<\/em> story in the book that was written up in a magazine about a woman, who goes online, posing as a 13\/14-year-old girl. She uses software to change her appearance to look like this girl. She posts an Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, a brand-new Instagram profile. Literally, within three minutes, 15 adult men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Come on! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u201415 adult men have asked her for her phone number. I mean, if these things happened in the analog world, it would be: \u201cStop the presses.\u201d We\u2019d call the police; there would be non-stop coverage on the news. But these abuses are largely unreported in the screen world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, I\u2019m thinking of moms with daughters; I\u2019m thinking of my granddaughters. That is <em>staggering<\/em>. Yet, we would <em>never<\/em> go to bed at night with all of our doors unlocked, our windows open; we would be vigilant to protect our children. And yet, they have these devices that, when parents know that, like help us know: \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, there is monitoring software. Bark is one of them that is really good that I recommend at my website, DavidMurrow.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Bark, like a dog barking? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Bark, like a dog. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It barks when your kid\u2014when somebody tries to come after your kid\u2014that\u2019s why they named it that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t literally. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, but it; but it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> But you don\u2019t have to clean up after it either. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s <em>good<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There are a number of these. Disney<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has one\u2014I don\u2019t know if I can recommend that\u2014but I know they have one. There are software packages out there that will help you. But the best thing is: your 13-year-old should <em>not<\/em> be on Instagram. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Boy, they should <em>never<\/em> be on something like Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or something where the pictures disappear; because that\u2019s where sexting starts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann<\/strong>: Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, and I\u2019m thinking, as we talk to parents about this: \u201cIt\u2019s on <em>you<\/em>. <em>You<\/em> are in control. This is your\/you have the power to control this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You write in your book\u2014I love how you say it\u2014you said: \u201cIt\u2019s very important that your kids know every screen belongs to the parents. Access to screen content is with parental permission and remains under their control. Parents will keep all passwords to their apps. Let the kids know you will be checking their phones regularly to keep them safe and have unlimited access anytime of the day or night.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, that\u2019s just a word of advice: \u201cParents, this is your job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> out of control\u2014we can control and monitor these devices in our homes\u2014and we, not only can, we <em>need<\/em> to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s like, if you get two mice in your house, pretty soon you\u2019re going to have an infestation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You don\u2019t want to let this mouse into your house; you need to get in control of this early. The kids need to have this expectation from the beginning: \u201cEvery digital device, every screen, every television, every iPad, every phone\u2014all of these belong to me as long as you are under my roof.\u201d They need to know: \u201cThis is because I am protecting you. There are people out there, who want to harm you, and who can reach out to you through these devices. I am <em>not<\/em> going to allow you to be harmed. I am going to protect you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is out of love. I think you are right, David; these conversations should be happening when our kids are younger. They should be ongoing\u2014that we are talking about them at the dinner table\u2014that it is no surprise; we <em>are<\/em> educating our kids what is happening in the digital world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, that we are <em>praying<\/em> about this\u2014like we go before God\u2014we ask Him, \u201cLord, protect our kids; protect our hearts; protect our minds; and protect our bodies.\u201d Be in God\u2019s Word, because that\u2019s where true life comes from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think the Lord will also say to us: \u201cAnd I put you to be their protector. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI will protect, but <em>you<\/em> have been given that job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say to a parent: \u201cI know you probably know this; but if you have not been doing this, and as a result of these programs, you decide, \u2018I\u2019m taking back my home,\u2019\u2014there is going to be a revolt; it\u2019s not going to go easy\u2014they are going to be\/your kids are just going to freak out; but you have to win that battle, because you are protecting them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> And you have to replace it with something better\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014with something better\u2014Cold Stone [ice cream]\u2014bribe them, whatever it takes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s good. Bribing works in this case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Get the mouse out of the house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>One of the things I advise parents to do is to do a formal screen use plan while baby is in the womb. Start it as soon as possible: \u201cThis is how we are going to implement screens.\u201d The American Academy of Pediatrics has one that is actually very good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to be putting one up on my website very soon at DavidMurrow.com that parents can go through, that they can print out, that they can say: \u201cThis is how many hours we are going to have the television on,\u201d \u201cThis is when we are going to turn the thing off,\u201d \u201cThis is how we are going to be using the internet in our house.\u201d From the time the kid is very little, they just know, \u201cThese are the policies.\u201d They\u2019ll see it as normal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know a lot of kids who are starting to see the advantages of coming unplugged from the internet. Do you know what is really cool right now?\u2014flip phones. Kids in junior high are carrying around\u2014and even high school\u2014are carrying around flip phones. I think there is a growing realization, among the young, that we are using our screens too much. We are misusing\u2014we\u2019re becoming Excessive Eddies and Addicted Alberts\u2014they don\u2019t want to be that. Young people want health, just like we do\/we adults do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Proverbs 4:23 says, \u201cGuard your heart.\u201d I think that we need to guard our hearts and our children\u2019s hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, this has been great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This has been <em>super<\/em> helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s been my pleasure. Thank you for having me on the show. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The verse that comes to mind for me, as I listen to Dave and Ann Wilson talk today with David Murrow about our screens, is a verse in 1 Corinthians 6, where the Apostle Paul says, \u201cAll things are lawful for me but not all things are helpful.\u201d All things are lawful for me, but I will not be <em>dominated<\/em> by anything. I think we all have to ask the question: \u201cHave we become <em>dominated<\/em> by our screens? They are <em>lawful<\/em>, but are they profitable?\u201d That\u2019s what is at the heart of this conversation\u2014and it\u2019s not just for those of us raising the next generation\u2014it\u2019s for any of us who have access to screens. We all need to be asking ourselves this question about our devices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, what David Murrow has written in his book called <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em> is so helpful we want to make it available to you this week as a way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d when you join with us to help advance the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. This radio program, our website, our resources, our events\u2014none of that would happen\u2014if it weren\u2019t for listeners like you, who say, \u201cThis is important; this matters. I want to see this ministry continue and to grow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you invest in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> by making a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY, you are joining with us to help effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s our mission. When you do that, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of David Murrow\u2019s book, <em>Drowning in Screen Time<\/em>. You can request it when you donate, again, online at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you donate by calling 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as we\u2019ve said today, technology is not bad; it\u2019s a tool. We just want to make sure we are using it wisely and that it is not dominating our lives. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, as a ministry, we are trying to utilize screens and technology as effectively as we can to help promote and advance the ministry of the gospel; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely. It allows us to get the gospel and the biblical principles of marriage and family to more people and to more homes. That\u2019s why we\u2019ve spent a lot of time and energy on improving our FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have not checked it out recently\u2014Bob, I\u2019ve learned that the ideal time for me to listen to a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> show is at 1.4 speed\u2014that\u2019s available on our app; you can adjust it to whatever speed you want to listen to. It allows me to take my drive times that I have\u2014and instead of tuning into sports radio, which especially at this time of year, I am tempted to do\u2014it allows me to use 20 minutes that I have and to really feed my soul and to lift my eyes upward as I head home and invest in my kids. It\u2019s been a <em>great<\/em> resource to really <em>redeem<\/em> technology through this FamilyLife app that we keep improving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think Dave and Ann sound okay at 1.4 speed? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s my preference, Bob; that\u2019s all I\u2019m saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I do hope our listeners, if they have not already downloaded the FamilyLife app, go to your app store, search for FamilyLife as one word. The app is free; and it gives you access, not only to this daily program, but to lots of helpful content. Again, download the app and start using it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Dave and Ann Wilson about the difference between kind of the idealized family\u2014this image we have in our head of what perfect family life is supposed to be like\u2014and the real family life that all of us are dealing with. How do we strive for the ideal without being crushed by the fact that we never get there? We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow from Dave and Ann Wilson. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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