{"id":307265,"date":"2021-10-19T07:01:08","date_gmt":"2021-10-19T11:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/affirming-your-daughters\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T13:03:45","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T18:03:45","slug":"affirming-your-daughters","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/affirming-your-daughters\/","title":{"rendered":"Affirming Your Daughters"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The messages our daughters hear are so important! Matt and Lisa Jacobson reveal how vital a parent&#8217;s voice truly is for speaking God&#8217;s truth in ways our daughters can hear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The messages our daughters hear are so important! Matt and Lisa Jacobson reveal how vital a parent&#8217;s voice truly is for speaking God&#8217;s truth in ways our daughters can hear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:34","filesize":"25.25M","filesize_raw":"26475144","date_recorded":"2021-10-19 07:01:08","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2834,2836,2806],"tags":[4811,2209],"podcast_series":[8483],"cwp_profile":[9630],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307265","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-praying-for-your-children","category-raising-girls","category-spiritual-development","tag-daughters","tag-parenting","podcast_series-affirming-your-sons-daughters","cwp_profile-matt-and-lisa-jacobson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307265\/affirming-your-daughters","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307265\/affirming-your-daughters","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0BCbPnbYGH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/affirming-your-daughters\/\">Affirming Your Daughters<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/affirming-your-daughters\/embed\/#?secret=0BCbPnbYGH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Affirming Your Daughters&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0BCbPnbYGH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember one time\u2014I think I was in the third grade\u2014and I heard my dad say to a baseball player that he was coaching: \u201cMy daughter, Ann, may be the best athlete in our family.\u201d It was like water to a thirsty plant; I was so needy of that. I sit and I think, \u201cOh, I was just so wanting and longing to be loved and affirmed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, the power of words of affirmation is powerful. I\u2019m not even sure we understand <em>how<\/em> powerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson; and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s funny; I started cleaning cars and detailing the inside of cars when I was eight years old,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she\u2019s still amazing at it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because\u2014and here\u2019s why this is so sad!\u2014my brother used to say, who was nine years older, \u201cWow, you\u2019re really good at that.\u201d It was, basically, he\u2019s <em>training<\/em> me; you know?\u2014like\u2014 [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cYou know, you just say anything good, and I\u2019ll do it forever!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Smart man.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> He would bring their friends\u2019 cars over; and I would be like, \u201cOh, just say something positive!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> So why are we talking about this?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re talking about it because we have our friends, Matt and Lisa Jacobson, back with us today on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We\u2019re going to really tackle, today, how we <em>affirm<\/em> our daughters. You guys, thanks, first of all, for being back with us again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you didn\u2019t just write a book on a couple of ideas. You wrote 100 ways\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014100 words!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014actually, 100 powerful words of affirmation for our daughters.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> We talked about sons as well.<\/p>\n<p>I know you\u2019ve written <em>100 Ways to Love Your Spouse, \u2026Your Husband, \u2026Your Wife, \u2026Your Sons; Words\/Affirmation<\/em>\u2014you\u2019ve got it all!\u2014you\u2019ve written all. And you\u2019ve got a website and a podcast, FaithfulMan.com,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014Club31Women.com.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, yes. People can find you there and, obviously, can link through FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you\u2019re some of our <em>favorite<\/em> guests.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Aww.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> We appreciate just how <em>practical<\/em> you are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re really helping us, in our homes, raise sons and daughters. You\u2019re helping us have <em>great<\/em> marriages. But I really appreciate that you\u2019ve kind of made a differentiation between love and affirmation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Let\u2019s really talk about: \u201cWhat <em>is<\/em> affirmation?\u201d and \u201c<em>How<\/em> do we do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> It\u2019s basically looking for that moment, or that quality, or that achievement in the day, where you can say: \u201cI want to point out [what] you said,\u201d \u201c\u2026did,\u201d or \u201c\u2026are something wonderful.\u201d As a parent, it just means: \u201cToday, I\u2019m going to <em>look<\/em> for something that I can build up my daughter by saying some <em>win <\/em>that she\u2019s had, something <em>about<\/em> her that I can point out that I like, something she\u2019s done,\u201d\u2014just anything! Just start with the <em>smallest<\/em> thing; you\u2019re looking for a moment to show her that she is a wonderful, valuable, important, interesting, loveable person.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to melt on the floor right now! [Laughter] Like if a dad said that to you\/if a mom says that to you, it\u2019s <em>so powerful!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I mean, you have eight kids\u2014four daughters\u2014right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> How do you <em>do<\/em> that every day?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> You\u2019re a parent, and you do it imperfectly; but really, what this book is\u2014<em>100 Words of Affirmation Your Daughter Needs to Hear<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u2014<\/em>is, essentially, an aggregation of things that we\u2019ve learned over time; and we\u2019ve tried to employ.<\/p>\n<p>Everybody, I think, hearing about affirming your daughter would say, \u201cOh, I\u2019ll sign up for that.\u201d But maybe, in real time, we might not have a specific idea of what we could do or what we could say. That\u2019s really what this is: it\u2019s a very doable, accessible, digestible resource\/bite-size pieces.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Each one is small\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like you could read one of these a day, easily, and try to apply it for that day.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m almost thinking, if I\u2019m a parent who\u2019s not very good at this, I could pick it up and literally read, \u201cI believe in you and all you will become,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s your first one\u2014and that first one is a <em>big<\/em> one.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I want to hit that one, Dave, because you guys even say: \u201cYour voice must be steady and strong, ringing with clarity of a single bell on a still morning: \u2018I believe in you. I believe in your gifts, and this world\u2019\u2014I like this part!\u2014\u2018this world is in desperate need of them. I believe in your amazing abilities. You\u2019re going to have a powerful impact in this life!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can recall, even though my parents didn\u2019t say very many positive, affirming things; but I was probably four years old, and my mom told me this\/she said, \u201cHoney, you were a mistake; you were an accident,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Oh, my word.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Ohh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014okay? But it didn\u2019t end there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Alright.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> So she said\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It starts off pretty bad.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> But then\u2014you guys, she gives me this\/she says, \u201cBut I always thought\u201d\u2014and I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home, but they believed in God\u2014my mom said, \u201cBut I just thought, \u2018There must be something that God has for you to do,\u2019\u201d\u2014just that one thing!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014and you hung on to it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I hung onto it all of my life, thinking, \u201cDoes God have something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So when you say to your kid, \u201cI believe in you and all you will become,\u201d I hope that that makes them like, \u201cWhat is it?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because we\u2019re all gifted; we all have passion. We all have\u2014God loves us\u2014and He has a plan for our lives.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> You know, I think, sometimes, we think of affirmation as like a compliment; or we\u2019re afraid\u2014I\u2019ve also heard parents say, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want to puff my kid up,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> about puffing up. That\u2019s just about speaking truth and <em>vision<\/em> into their life and heart.<\/p>\n<p>Can you imagine, if all of these Christian parents spoke to your kids each day like this, and just gave them this sense of destiny?\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014this sense of calling? That is <em>really <\/em>powerful!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You know, the enemy of our soul, Satan\u2014there\u2019s a spiritual battle going on\u2014do you think he has a dialogue that he\u2019s saying to our kids?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Oh!\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014every day.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, there\u2019s a voice out there called 21<sup>st<\/sup> century values\u2014it\u2019s sitting right on your daughter\u2019s shoulder\u2014and it\u2019s telling her that she doesn\u2019t measure up and probably never will: \u201cShe\u2019s not enough this,\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s too much of that,\u201d and \u201cShe doesn\u2019t have much to offer, and she\u2019s not good enough,\u201d\u2014a thousand different ways.<\/p>\n<p>As a parent, recognizing the spiritual warfare of this playing field within your daughter\u2019s mind and the way she\u2019s thinking about herself. You\u2019ve got to step into that war; you\u2019ve got to recognize your place in it. God put you in her life to raise her up to <em>know<\/em> God and to know how God sees and values <em>her<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what, really, is the foundation of these books: you are not going to just let the culture overrun your home like a tsunami, and let all of the voices and all of the messages define who she is. You\u2019re going to take charge of the culture within your home\u2014the culture that comes out of the words you speak and the way you speak them\u2014you\u2019re going to stand against that tide.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what we are encouraging parents [toward]; that\u2019s what we wanted to do in the lives of our own kids. Really, a lot of that grew out of our own experiences, just as, you know, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go on the <em>offense<\/em>.\u201d This is a parent who wants to step into the gap, and stand for their kids, and stand <em>against<\/em> what the culture and the enemy has to say to them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I think, as a parent, you\u2019re going to feel so <em>helpless<\/em> now more than ever; because you\u2019ve got <em>so<\/em> much going against your kids\u2014out there in the world; on social media\u2014all of that stuff. But you\u2019re <em>not<\/em> helpless, because you have a <em>powerful<\/em> voice. You need to use it intentionally, prayerfully, and boldly, really. Think about your own experience: \u201cWho was the most powerful voice in your life?\u201d\u2014it was your parents; they are powerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So we cannot be deceived into thinking we\u2019re helpless, because we\u2019re not. We actually have this <em>wonderful<\/em> opportunity to speak truth and life into our kids\u2019 hearts and trust God to use that for His glory.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> What about the mom or dad, who doesn\u2019t even believe it for themselves?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> That\u2019s really hard\u2014to speak something that you\u2019re struggling with yourself\u2014but one thing I like to say is\u2014and I\u2019ve had to do myself is\u2014I don\u2019t want to wait until I have it together before I speak into my kids\u2019 lives. I just can\u2019t afford it; I don\u2019t have enough time for that, to be honest.<\/p>\n<p>As my girls got older, into their teens, I said, \u201cYou know what? I have something to tell you. I struggle with this <em>now, <\/em>because of my own upbringing and because of my own struggles; but I want <em>you<\/em> to know this before I even do. You are a daughter of the King; you are worthy. He has chosen you! Those are all powerful words that I am seeking to believe and receive, and I want you to do the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> And if I could speak to those parents for just a minute?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> One of the things that we tend to forget\u2014as people who are, maybe, feeling the weight of those voices; and we don\u2019t really feel this for ourselves\u2014the Bible tells us, \u201cHe has not given us a spirit of fear, but of <em>power, <\/em>of love, and of a sound mind.\u201d <em>That<\/em> is what God gave you; so if you\u2019re getting something that\u2019s other than that\u2014you\u2019re getting that spirit of negativity\/fear, tearing you down\u2014that is not from God; that is from the enemy. You need to go on spiritual attack and say, \u201cNo! I reject the voice of the enemy. I am a child of the most high God! <em>That<\/em> is who I am in Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And so, you yourself can go on a journey of receiving the affirmation that God has for <em>you<\/em>, based on what the Word of God says. God gets to define who you are\u2014<em>not<\/em> the enemy; <em>not<\/em> the voices from the past\u2014God defines who you are. And so you need to embrace that, as a parent. The more you do that, the more free you\u2019ll feel to speak these things into the hearts of your daughters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I think\/you know, Matt and Lisa, what you\u2019re saying is that\u2019s not a one-time mom and dad thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s like I\u2019ve got to immerse myself in the Word of God\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Good point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014as the absolute truth in my life every day. I mean\u2014again, it isn\u2019t a vitamin; and it isn\u2019t, \u201cI\u2019m not a good Christian if I don\u2019t,\u201d\u2014but it\u2019s like: \u201cMan! I <em>have<\/em> to put truth in my mind\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201crenew my mind\u201d\u2014Romans 12\u2014\u201cdaily!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s even beyond daily.<\/p>\n<p>I know you\u2019ve mentioned in your book a passage that we use in our book. We called our book <em>Perfect Parents. <\/em>I don\u2019t know if you knew about that one. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s actually called\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> You got to it before we did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014<em>No Perfect Parents. <\/em>There we go! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> We were going to write that book. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, nobody can write it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> It\u2019s not an autobiography; right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> God was the only perfect parent, but His kids still rebelled.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> There you go! Exactly.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re not perfect parents; we aren\u2019t, and our kids aren\u2019t. But, you know, the passage that we sort of base the book on\u2014and you did on your affirmation\u2014was that Deuteronomy 6 passage,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which was really interesting in terms of the rhythms of speaking words of affirmation in the morning, in the evening, as you go along the way. But as we know, it starts with, \u201cLove the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength\u201d; it\u2019s the great Shema of the Hebrew people. This is something they memorized; it was their DNA. It says: \u201cThese commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts\u201d; He\u2019s talking to the parents here!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You can\u2019t impress them on your children, or talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk the way unless they\u2019re on our hearts. So if we\u2019re trying to affirm and speak identity into our children\u2014and we don\u2019t understand it or really believe it for ourselves\u2014it\u2019s going to be very hard to give it away.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And again, it\u2019s not once; it\u2019s like I\u2019ve got to remind myself daily, because there\u2019s a liar\u2014I hear his voice, and I shouldn\u2019t\u20142 Corinthians 10:5 says to \u201ctake it captive immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> There are times I don\u2019t\u2014it slips in\u2014and I start to feel less about myself; and then I speak <em>that<\/em> into my kids, rather than, \u201cNo, no, no! I am powerful; I am strong in Christ. And so are you, and I want to speak that into you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You know, one of the things that I\u2019ve been really convicted about\u2014our kids are older, so it\u2019s easier to find those really good chunks of time to be with God\u2014but when our kids were younger, it was hard\/\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like you have to <em>fight<\/em> for that time. Yet, now, I get\u2014maybe you guys get these notifications, too\u2014of how much time you have logged into your devices.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014weekly screen updates. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly! I look at that; I think, \u201cWhat a <em>waste<\/em> of time!\u201d\u2014like, \u201cIf I spent that much time in God\u2019s Word or prayer\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019d be glowing!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI <em>would<\/em> be glowing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014 the Shekinah glory.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I would have the Shekinah glory!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> You <em>are <\/em>glowing! I didn\u2019t mean to say that; okay?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thank you! Thank you, Lisa. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Is it really a waste of time? Because I was just watching the fascinating aspects of dung beetles a while back, and I just learned a lot. [Laughter] No, I\u2019m kidding; of course, you\u2019re saying what\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re right, though; as parents, it\u2019s so easy\u2014especially with little kids, you\u2019re so exhausted\u2014that you\u2019re going to go down a Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> binge.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you can do that, and you feel like, \u201cOh, at least, I got my time.\u201d But there\u2019s still not this feeling of: \u201cNow I\u2019m filled up, and I\u2019m ready for the battle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to be the Holy Spirit\u2014but I\u2019m just even saying, in my own life, when I have spent time with God, I\u2019m ready for the battle; because it is a battle, as you were saying.<\/p>\n<p>You have <em>so<\/em> many great [affirmations]\u2014like out of these 100\u2014I could go through every single one and our listeners would <em>love <\/em>the practicality of every single one. One of the things you said is to remind them that the Father\u2019s gentle hand is directing them. I was interested that you put: \u201cThe Father\u2019s <em>gentle <\/em>hand is directing you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes; well, God is very gentle with us. The message that we often get is that: \u201cGod is a condemning God,\u201d \u201cGod is upset\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cHe\u2019s upset with you\/disappointed with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u2014\u201calways,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re <em>never<\/em> pleasing Him,\u201d \u201cYou never measure up,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not okay,\u201d and \u201cHe\u2019s basically mad at you most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We are to impart the knowledge of God <em>to<\/em> our children, and we\u2019re to teach our kids the character of God. The Bible says: \u201cCome unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden. I will give you rest.\u201d The prodigal son\u2019s father is standing there, waiting to embrace him\u2014and that\u2019s a child who has been totally rebellious\u2014and he\u2019s just waiting.<\/p>\n<p>God\u2019s hand is there; He\u2019s directing. You\u2019ve got to listen to Him\u2014because He\u2019s not going to, you know, come in with force and say, \u201cThis is what you\u2019re going to do\u2026\u201d\u2014He\u2019s calling you to listen; He\u2019s calling you to <em>believe<\/em> in His goodness, regardless of what you might be facing right now.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you feel there\u2019s a difference in the words of affirmation that you give to daughters compared to sons? Is it the same thing, or is it a little bit nuanced?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, there\u2019s certainly a lot of cross-over, just because they are people.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> But I think there are some specific ways in which you would affirm a son and you would affirm a daughter that are different. One of the things is\u2014in terms of the son\u2019s need to grow into manhood, and a daughter to grow into womanhood\u2014and to speak that identity into them from a very young age.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you have some thoughts about that, too, babe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Well, I was just thinking, for a daughter: I had read an article that you shouldn\u2019t tell your daughter that she\u2019s pretty, because that is too much focus on the physical. I took this article to heart; I was just trying.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was on the internet, so it had to be true; right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Something like that. Sure enough, one of my daughters, who happens to be <em>very <\/em>gorgeous\u2014which is obvious; just look at her\u2014she was about 15 or 16; and she said, \u201cMom, do you think I\u2019m pretty?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cOh, honey, you\u2019re beautiful! How could you not know that?!\u201d She said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know; you\u2019ve never said anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cOh, that <em>stupid<\/em> article!\u201d; [Laughter] you know?<\/p>\n<p>She needed to know, not in a fluffing up kind of way, but just, \u201cYou are <em>beautiful<\/em>.\u201d She did need to hear it from <em>me<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s not that she was getting her identity from it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> No,<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> She just wondered what you thought.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; just in an authentic, genuine way. And here she\u2019s got all of Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and photo shop telling her <em>not <\/em>that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t measure up\u201d; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So what a powerful word from a parent, saying\/a mom saying: \u201cYou are beautiful just the way you are\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthe way God made you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cI love how you look.\u201d By God\u2019s grace, our girls are very confident with who they are and how they\u2019re made. I never had that,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, me either. That\u2019s <em>so<\/em> good.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014so I really wanted that for my daughters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I know, as a husband\u2014you know, I didn\u2019t have a daughter\u2014but I have a wife, who was a daughter\/is a daughter. I\u2019ve learned, over 40 years, to speak that\u2014to even tell her how pretty I think she is, because she sometimes doesn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s also told me <em>how <\/em>I say words of affirmation. It\u2019s a lot better when they\u2019re gentle and not harsh. When we were first married, I could not believe she did not see her physical beauty like I did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I would even say something like, \u201cDo you think I look okay tonight?\u201d And he\u2019d say [gruff voice], \u201cWell, of course, you look okay!\u201d; you know? I was like\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you notice how she did that?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that was how <em>harsh<\/em> I was\u2014and I <em>couldn\u2019t<\/em> hear it. I literally thought, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me;\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou <em>obviously<\/em> think this.\u201d She <em>didn\u2019t<\/em>; and now I know why: she <em>never<\/em> heard words of affirmation. She\u2019s asking me for that; and I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, duh!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve learned that: \u201cOh, my goodness! Even this woman doesn\u2019t always know and needs someone she really trusts to say, \u2018You\u2019re amazing,\u2019\u201d\u2014just like our kids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s the power of words of affirmation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I shouldn\u2019t get into another one, but I just want to hit this last one [in the book]: you say to encourage our girls and to affirm them by saying, \u201cYou\u2019re not a victim. You have the power to act.\u201d I was intrigued by that, because you have a daughter in a wheelchair.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it would be really easy for kids [who] have really struggled, or suffered, or gone through things that are really out of their control\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014how do you relay that truth?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, actually, with words; you know? [Laughter] We <em>speak<\/em> it.<\/p>\n<p>It has to do with, if you are a believer, you are indwelt by the Holy Spirit; that means that you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you. The world wants to make you a victim, but we are not victims. We are people empowered by God to walk with Him in a way that He loves and approves of; this is who you are. The world wants to make you a victim; it wants you to have the mentality and a mindset that is against what God wants you to be.<\/p>\n<p>We just want our kids to be empowered to think: \u201cNo, I have the responsibility and the power to act.\u201d That\u2019s why we speak that message, because we are not interested in the message the world has for them on that level.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; I just wish I would have had more of those kinds of words spoken over me that: \u201cI\u2019m not helpless,\u201d and \u201cLife is not <em>happening<\/em> to me. God will enable me to do what I need to do, and to step out and do things that are right, that are helpful, and that are edifying. It\u2019s not just <em>happening<\/em> to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> One of the things that happens, when you start thinking that life is happening <em>to <\/em>you, is you remove yourself from the aspect of responsibility <em>for <\/em>what\u2019s happening. But if you\u2019re trained <em>not <\/em>to think that way [that life is happening to you], then you recognize, \u201cNo, I need to make a decision; I need to move forward. I need to\u201d\u2014you know, if you\u2019re in a rut\u2014\u201cget out of that rut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>God is calling you to act, based on what He has\/who He has said you are and what He has given you to do. He <em>always<\/em> makes a way for us, so it\u2019s really about\u00a0 a positive path forward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like what you say [in the book]; you say: \u201cNo one\u2019s life is defined by the good or bad things that happen to them. Your life is defined by your reaction to what takes place. Your chosen response to your life circumstances establishes who you are and the life that you will live.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Those are wise words to say to our kids and good reminders for ourselves.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s really our job, as parents,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to do that and send them into the world with that. Thanks for helping us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thanks for being with us today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be with you guys.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would your son or daughter say, \u201cMy mom and dad are my greatest cheerleaders; they are always cheering me on. They\u2019re always encouraging me\u201d? Or would they say they hear more <em>discouraging<\/em> words from you?<\/p>\n<p>I think, as parents, all of us can do a better job of speaking words of affirmation, words of encouragement, words of life with our children. Matt and Lisa Jacobson have a tool to help us do that. In fact, we\u2019re making the books that Matt and Lisa have written available this week to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who can help us advance the work of FamilyLife through this radio program. When you make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you are pouring into the lives of hundreds of thousands of people who, every day, come to us for practical biblical help and hope for their marriage.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Matt and Lisa\u2019s books\u2014<em>100 Words of Affirmation Your Daughter Needs to Hear <\/em>and <em>100 Words of Affirmation Your <\/em>Son <em>Needs to Hear<\/em>\u2014very practical tools to help you be the cheerleader that your son or daughter needs you to be. Again, you can request copies of Matt and Lisa\u2019s books when you make a donation of any amount. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and donate online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation; ask for the books when you do, and we\u2019re happy to send them out to you.<\/p>\n<p>You know, the reason we have conversations like the one you\u2019ve listened to today is because it\u2019s really our mission, here, at FamilyLife to effectively develop godly marriages and families. David Robbins, who\u2019s the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, we want to, not only help moms and dads win at home, but we want to help you [as a listener] help others in your sphere of influence to succeed in their family as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, Bob. I <em>love<\/em> hearing you talk about our mission statement, because we\u2019re passionate about building into families. We know the home is a conduit to build the kingdom of God. The work of parenting, like we\u2019ve been talking about today, has a compounding effect. We are passionate about helping families experience Jesus, and pass it on to their kids, and into their neighborhoods and community\u2014because we\u2019re passionate about that second part of our mission statement that you said\u2014that we know that a people of God, living surrendered lives to Jesus, can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, impact their corner of the world and change the world one home at a time. That\u2019s what we do!<\/p>\n<p>I want to just invite you: if you aren\u2019t signed up for the email that we send out regularly\u2014a couple of times a month\u2014it is meant to encourage and equip <em>you<\/em> to live that out: growing in oneness with God and in your own home, and moving toward others around you, and impacting others for the kingdom of God. That\u2019s what we\u2019re about at FamilyLife, and it\u2019s another <em>great<\/em> way you can be resourced to keep growing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you\u2019d like to receive our \u201cHelp and Hope\u201d e-newsletter, it\u2019s free. You can sign up online at FamilyLifeToday.com; we\u2019ve got a link on our website. Sign up and get extra help and hope sent to your email inbox each month.<\/p>\n<p>And we hope you can join us, again tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to take up the subject of purity. Certainly, that\u2019s a biblical concept; but there have been times recently when folks have done a poor job of communicating what the Bible has to say about purity; it has not been handled well. Ron Deal and Juli Slattery will be with us to have a conversation about that. I hope you can join us for that as well.<\/p>\n<p>And if you have friends who you think would benefit from that conversation, point them to this station. Tell them to tune in and listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>or point them to the podcast. <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is available as a podcast wherever you get your podcasts.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n"],"duration":["00:27:34"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.25M"],"filesize_raw":["26475144"],"_edit_lock":["1736445830:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2021-10-19 07:01:08"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-19.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307265.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307265.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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messages our daughters hear are so important! Matt and Lisa Jacobson reveal how vital a parent's voice truly is for speaking God's truth in ways our daughters can hear.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember one time\u2014I think I was in the third grade\u2014and I heard my dad say to a baseball player that he was coaching: \u201cMy daughter, Ann, may be the best athlete in our family.\u201d It was like water to a thirsty plant; I was so needy of that. I sit and I think, \u201cOh, I was just so wanting and longing to be loved and affirmed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, the power of words of affirmation is powerful. I\u2019m not even sure we understand <em>how<\/em> powerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson; and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s funny; I started cleaning cars and detailing the inside of cars when I was eight years old,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she\u2019s still amazing at it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because\u2014and here\u2019s why this is so sad!\u2014my brother used to say, who was nine years older, \u201cWow, you\u2019re really good at that.\u201d It was, basically, he\u2019s <em>training<\/em> me; you know?\u2014like\u2014 [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cYou know, you just say anything good, and I\u2019ll do it forever!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Smart man.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> He would bring their friends\u2019 cars over; and I would be like, \u201cOh, just say something positive!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> So why are we talking about this?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re talking about it because we have our friends, Matt and Lisa Jacobson, back with us today on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We\u2019re going to really tackle, today, how we <em>affirm<\/em> our daughters. You guys, thanks, first of all, for being back with us again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you didn\u2019t just write a book on a couple of ideas. You wrote 100 ways\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014100 words!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014actually, 100 powerful words of affirmation for our daughters.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> We talked about sons as well.<\/p>\n<p>I know you\u2019ve written <em>100 Ways to Love Your Spouse, \u2026Your Husband, \u2026Your Wife, \u2026Your Sons; Words\/Affirmation<\/em>\u2014you\u2019ve got it all!\u2014you\u2019ve written all. And you\u2019ve got a website and a podcast, FaithfulMan.com,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014Club31Women.com.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, yes. People can find you there and, obviously, can link through FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you\u2019re some of our <em>favorite<\/em> guests.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Aww.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> We appreciate just how <em>practical<\/em> you are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re really helping us, in our homes, raise sons and daughters. You\u2019re helping us have <em>great<\/em> marriages. But I really appreciate that you\u2019ve kind of made a differentiation between love and affirmation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Let\u2019s really talk about: \u201cWhat <em>is<\/em> affirmation?\u201d and \u201c<em>How<\/em> do we do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> It\u2019s basically looking for that moment, or that quality, or that achievement in the day, where you can say: \u201cI want to point out [what] you said,\u201d \u201c\u2026did,\u201d or \u201c\u2026are something wonderful.\u201d As a parent, it just means: \u201cToday, I\u2019m going to <em>look<\/em> for something that I can build up my daughter by saying some <em>win <\/em>that she\u2019s had, something <em>about<\/em> her that I can point out that I like, something she\u2019s done,\u201d\u2014just anything! Just start with the <em>smallest<\/em> thing; you\u2019re looking for a moment to show her that she is a wonderful, valuable, important, interesting, loveable person.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to melt on the floor right now! [Laughter] Like if a dad said that to you\/if a mom says that to you, it\u2019s <em>so powerful!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I mean, you have eight kids\u2014four daughters\u2014right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> How do you <em>do<\/em> that every day?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> You\u2019re a parent, and you do it imperfectly; but really, what this book is\u2014<em>100 Words of Affirmation Your Daughter Needs to Hear<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u00ad<\/em><em>\u2014<\/em>is, essentially, an aggregation of things that we\u2019ve learned over time; and we\u2019ve tried to employ.<\/p>\n<p>Everybody, I think, hearing about affirming your daughter would say, \u201cOh, I\u2019ll sign up for that.\u201d But maybe, in real time, we might not have a specific idea of what we could do or what we could say. That\u2019s really what this is: it\u2019s a very doable, accessible, digestible resource\/bite-size pieces.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Each one is small\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like you could read one of these a day, easily, and try to apply it for that day.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m almost thinking, if I\u2019m a parent who\u2019s not very good at this, I could pick it up and literally read, \u201cI believe in you and all you will become,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s your first one\u2014and that first one is a <em>big<\/em> one.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I want to hit that one, Dave, because you guys even say: \u201cYour voice must be steady and strong, ringing with clarity of a single bell on a still morning: \u2018I believe in you. I believe in your gifts, and this world\u2019\u2014I like this part!\u2014\u2018this world is in desperate need of them. I believe in your amazing abilities. You\u2019re going to have a powerful impact in this life!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can recall, even though my parents didn\u2019t say very many positive, affirming things; but I was probably four years old, and my mom told me this\/she said, \u201cHoney, you were a mistake; you were an accident,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Oh, my word.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Ohh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014okay? But it didn\u2019t end there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Alright.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> So she said\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It starts off pretty bad.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> But then\u2014you guys, she gives me this\/she says, \u201cBut I always thought\u201d\u2014and I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home, but they believed in God\u2014my mom said, \u201cBut I just thought, \u2018There must be something that God has for you to do,\u2019\u201d\u2014just that one thing!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014and you hung on to it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I hung onto it all of my life, thinking, \u201cDoes God have something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So when you say to your kid, \u201cI believe in you and all you will become,\u201d I hope that that makes them like, \u201cWhat is it?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because we\u2019re all gifted; we all have passion. We all have\u2014God loves us\u2014and He has a plan for our lives.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> You know, I think, sometimes, we think of affirmation as like a compliment; or we\u2019re afraid\u2014I\u2019ve also heard parents say, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want to puff my kid up,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> about puffing up. That\u2019s just about speaking truth and <em>vision<\/em> into their life and heart.<\/p>\n<p>Can you imagine, if all of these Christian parents spoke to your kids each day like this, and just gave them this sense of destiny?\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014this sense of calling? That is <em>really <\/em>powerful!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You know, the enemy of our soul, Satan\u2014there\u2019s a spiritual battle going on\u2014do you think he has a dialogue that he\u2019s saying to our kids?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Oh!\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014every day.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, there\u2019s a voice out there called 21<sup>st<\/sup> century values\u2014it\u2019s sitting right on your daughter\u2019s shoulder\u2014and it\u2019s telling her that she doesn\u2019t measure up and probably never will: \u201cShe\u2019s not enough this,\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s too much of that,\u201d and \u201cShe doesn\u2019t have much to offer, and she\u2019s not good enough,\u201d\u2014a thousand different ways.<\/p>\n<p>As a parent, recognizing the spiritual warfare of this playing field within your daughter\u2019s mind and the way she\u2019s thinking about herself. You\u2019ve got to step into that war; you\u2019ve got to recognize your place in it. God put you in her life to raise her up to <em>know<\/em> God and to know how God sees and values <em>her<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what, really, is the foundation of these books: you are not going to just let the culture overrun your home like a tsunami, and let all of the voices and all of the messages define who she is. You\u2019re going to take charge of the culture within your home\u2014the culture that comes out of the words you speak and the way you speak them\u2014you\u2019re going to stand against that tide.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what we are encouraging parents [toward]; that\u2019s what we wanted to do in the lives of our own kids. Really, a lot of that grew out of our own experiences, just as, you know, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go on the <em>offense<\/em>.\u201d This is a parent who wants to step into the gap, and stand for their kids, and stand <em>against<\/em> what the culture and the enemy has to say to them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I think, as a parent, you\u2019re going to feel so <em>helpless<\/em> now more than ever; because you\u2019ve got <em>so<\/em> much going against your kids\u2014out there in the world; on social media\u2014all of that stuff. But you\u2019re <em>not<\/em> helpless, because you have a <em>powerful<\/em> voice. You need to use it intentionally, prayerfully, and boldly, really. Think about your own experience: \u201cWho was the most powerful voice in your life?\u201d\u2014it was your parents; they are powerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So we cannot be deceived into thinking we\u2019re helpless, because we\u2019re not. We actually have this <em>wonderful<\/em> opportunity to speak truth and life into our kids\u2019 hearts and trust God to use that for His glory.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> What about the mom or dad, who doesn\u2019t even believe it for themselves?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> That\u2019s really hard\u2014to speak something that you\u2019re struggling with yourself\u2014but one thing I like to say is\u2014and I\u2019ve had to do myself is\u2014I don\u2019t want to wait until I have it together before I speak into my kids\u2019 lives. I just can\u2019t afford it; I don\u2019t have enough time for that, to be honest.<\/p>\n<p>As my girls got older, into their teens, I said, \u201cYou know what? I have something to tell you. I struggle with this <em>now, <\/em>because of my own upbringing and because of my own struggles; but I want <em>you<\/em> to know this before I even do. You are a daughter of the King; you are worthy. He has chosen you! Those are all powerful words that I am seeking to believe and receive, and I want you to do the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> And if I could speak to those parents for just a minute?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> One of the things that we tend to forget\u2014as people who are, maybe, feeling the weight of those voices; and we don\u2019t really feel this for ourselves\u2014the Bible tells us, \u201cHe has not given us a spirit of fear, but of <em>power, <\/em>of love, and of a sound mind.\u201d <em>That<\/em> is what God gave you; so if you\u2019re getting something that\u2019s other than that\u2014you\u2019re getting that spirit of negativity\/fear, tearing you down\u2014that is not from God; that is from the enemy. You need to go on spiritual attack and say, \u201cNo! I reject the voice of the enemy. I am a child of the most high God! <em>That<\/em> is who I am in Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And so, you yourself can go on a journey of receiving the affirmation that God has for <em>you<\/em>, based on what the Word of God says. God gets to define who you are\u2014<em>not<\/em> the enemy; <em>not<\/em> the voices from the past\u2014God defines who you are. And so you need to embrace that, as a parent. The more you do that, the more free you\u2019ll feel to speak these things into the hearts of your daughters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I think\/you know, Matt and Lisa, what you\u2019re saying is that\u2019s not a one-time mom and dad thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s like I\u2019ve got to immerse myself in the Word of God\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Good point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014as the absolute truth in my life every day. I mean\u2014again, it isn\u2019t a vitamin; and it isn\u2019t, \u201cI\u2019m not a good Christian if I don\u2019t,\u201d\u2014but it\u2019s like: \u201cMan! I <em>have<\/em> to put truth in my mind\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201crenew my mind\u201d\u2014Romans 12\u2014\u201cdaily!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s even beyond daily.<\/p>\n<p>I know you\u2019ve mentioned in your book a passage that we use in our book. We called our book <em>Perfect Parents. <\/em>I don\u2019t know if you knew about that one. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s actually called\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> You got to it before we did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014<em>No Perfect Parents. <\/em>There we go! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> We were going to write that book. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, nobody can write it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> It\u2019s not an autobiography; right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> God was the only perfect parent, but His kids still rebelled.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> There you go! Exactly.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re not perfect parents; we aren\u2019t, and our kids aren\u2019t. But, you know, the passage that we sort of base the book on\u2014and you did on your affirmation\u2014was that Deuteronomy 6 passage,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which was really interesting in terms of the rhythms of speaking words of affirmation in the morning, in the evening, as you go along the way. But as we know, it starts with, \u201cLove the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength\u201d; it\u2019s the great Shema of the Hebrew people. This is something they memorized; it was their DNA. It says: \u201cThese commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts\u201d; He\u2019s talking to the parents here!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> You can\u2019t impress them on your children, or talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk the way unless they\u2019re on our hearts. So if we\u2019re trying to affirm and speak identity into our children\u2014and we don\u2019t understand it or really believe it for ourselves\u2014it\u2019s going to be very hard to give it away.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And again, it\u2019s not once; it\u2019s like I\u2019ve got to remind myself daily, because there\u2019s a liar\u2014I hear his voice, and I shouldn\u2019t\u20142 Corinthians 10:5 says to \u201ctake it captive immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> There are times I don\u2019t\u2014it slips in\u2014and I start to feel less about myself; and then I speak <em>that<\/em> into my kids, rather than, \u201cNo, no, no! I am powerful; I am strong in Christ. And so are you, and I want to speak that into you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You know, one of the things that I\u2019ve been really convicted about\u2014our kids are older, so it\u2019s easier to find those really good chunks of time to be with God\u2014but when our kids were younger, it was hard\/\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like you have to <em>fight<\/em> for that time. Yet, now, I get\u2014maybe you guys get these notifications, too\u2014of how much time you have logged into your devices.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014weekly screen updates. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly! I look at that; I think, \u201cWhat a <em>waste<\/em> of time!\u201d\u2014like, \u201cIf I spent that much time in God\u2019s Word or prayer\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019d be glowing!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI <em>would<\/em> be glowing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014 the Shekinah glory.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I would have the Shekinah glory!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> You <em>are <\/em>glowing! I didn\u2019t mean to say that; okay?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thank you! Thank you, Lisa. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Is it really a waste of time? Because I was just watching the fascinating aspects of dung beetles a while back, and I just learned a lot. [Laughter] No, I\u2019m kidding; of course, you\u2019re saying what\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re right, though; as parents, it\u2019s so easy\u2014especially with little kids, you\u2019re so exhausted\u2014that you\u2019re going to go down a Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> binge.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you can do that, and you feel like, \u201cOh, at least, I got my time.\u201d But there\u2019s still not this feeling of: \u201cNow I\u2019m filled up, and I\u2019m ready for the battle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to be the Holy Spirit\u2014but I\u2019m just even saying, in my own life, when I have spent time with God, I\u2019m ready for the battle; because it is a battle, as you were saying.<\/p>\n<p>You have <em>so<\/em> many great [affirmations]\u2014like out of these 100\u2014I could go through every single one and our listeners would <em>love <\/em>the practicality of every single one. One of the things you said is to remind them that the Father\u2019s gentle hand is directing them. I was interested that you put: \u201cThe Father\u2019s <em>gentle <\/em>hand is directing you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes; well, God is very gentle with us. The message that we often get is that: \u201cGod is a condemning God,\u201d \u201cGod is upset\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cHe\u2019s upset with you\/disappointed with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u2014\u201calways,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re <em>never<\/em> pleasing Him,\u201d \u201cYou never measure up,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not okay,\u201d and \u201cHe\u2019s basically mad at you most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We are to impart the knowledge of God <em>to<\/em> our children, and we\u2019re to teach our kids the character of God. The Bible says: \u201cCome unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden. I will give you rest.\u201d The prodigal son\u2019s father is standing there, waiting to embrace him\u2014and that\u2019s a child who has been totally rebellious\u2014and he\u2019s just waiting.<\/p>\n<p>God\u2019s hand is there; He\u2019s directing. You\u2019ve got to listen to Him\u2014because He\u2019s not going to, you know, come in with force and say, \u201cThis is what you\u2019re going to do\u2026\u201d\u2014He\u2019s calling you to listen; He\u2019s calling you to <em>believe<\/em> in His goodness, regardless of what you might be facing right now.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you feel there\u2019s a difference in the words of affirmation that you give to daughters compared to sons? Is it the same thing, or is it a little bit nuanced?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, there\u2019s certainly a lot of cross-over, just because they are people.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> But I think there are some specific ways in which you would affirm a son and you would affirm a daughter that are different. One of the things is\u2014in terms of the son\u2019s need to grow into manhood, and a daughter to grow into womanhood\u2014and to speak that identity into them from a very young age.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you have some thoughts about that, too, babe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Well, I was just thinking, for a daughter: I had read an article that you shouldn\u2019t tell your daughter that she\u2019s pretty, because that is too much focus on the physical. I took this article to heart; I was just trying.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was on the internet, so it had to be true; right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Something like that. Sure enough, one of my daughters, who happens to be <em>very <\/em>gorgeous\u2014which is obvious; just look at her\u2014she was about 15 or 16; and she said, \u201cMom, do you think I\u2019m pretty?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cOh, honey, you\u2019re beautiful! How could you not know that?!\u201d She said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know; you\u2019ve never said anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cOh, that <em>stupid<\/em> article!\u201d; [Laughter] you know?<\/p>\n<p>She needed to know, not in a fluffing up kind of way, but just, \u201cYou are <em>beautiful<\/em>.\u201d She did need to hear it from <em>me<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s not that she was getting her identity from it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> No,<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> She just wondered what you thought.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; just in an authentic, genuine way. And here she\u2019s got all of Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and photo shop telling her <em>not <\/em>that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t measure up\u201d; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So what a powerful word from a parent, saying\/a mom saying: \u201cYou are beautiful just the way you are\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthe way God made you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cI love how you look.\u201d By God\u2019s grace, our girls are very confident with who they are and how they\u2019re made. I never had that,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, me either. That\u2019s <em>so<\/em> good.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014so I really wanted that for my daughters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I know, as a husband\u2014you know, I didn\u2019t have a daughter\u2014but I have a wife, who was a daughter\/is a daughter. I\u2019ve learned, over 40 years, to speak that\u2014to even tell her how pretty I think she is, because she sometimes doesn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s also told me <em>how <\/em>I say words of affirmation. It\u2019s a lot better when they\u2019re gentle and not harsh. When we were first married, I could not believe she did not see her physical beauty like I did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I would even say something like, \u201cDo you think I look okay tonight?\u201d And he\u2019d say [gruff voice], \u201cWell, of course, you look okay!\u201d; you know? I was like\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you notice how she did that?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that was how <em>harsh<\/em> I was\u2014and I <em>couldn\u2019t<\/em> hear it. I literally thought, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me;\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou <em>obviously<\/em> think this.\u201d She <em>didn\u2019t<\/em>; and now I know why: she <em>never<\/em> heard words of affirmation. She\u2019s asking me for that; and I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, duh!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve learned that: \u201cOh, my goodness! Even this woman doesn\u2019t always know and needs someone she really trusts to say, \u2018You\u2019re amazing,\u2019\u201d\u2014just like our kids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s the power of words of affirmation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I shouldn\u2019t get into another one, but I just want to hit this last one [in the book]: you say to encourage our girls and to affirm them by saying, \u201cYou\u2019re not a victim. You have the power to act.\u201d I was intrigued by that, because you have a daughter in a wheelchair.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it would be really easy for kids [who] have really struggled, or suffered, or gone through things that are really out of their control\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014how do you relay that truth?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, actually, with words; you know? [Laughter] We <em>speak<\/em> it.<\/p>\n<p>It has to do with, if you are a believer, you are indwelt by the Holy Spirit; that means that you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you. The world wants to make you a victim, but we are not victims. We are people empowered by God to walk with Him in a way that He loves and approves of; this is who you are. The world wants to make you a victim; it wants you to have the mentality and a mindset that is against what God wants you to be.<\/p>\n<p>We just want our kids to be empowered to think: \u201cNo, I have the responsibility and the power to act.\u201d That\u2019s why we speak that message, because we are not interested in the message the world has for them on that level.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; I just wish I would have had more of those kinds of words spoken over me that: \u201cI\u2019m not helpless,\u201d and \u201cLife is not <em>happening<\/em> to me. God will enable me to do what I need to do, and to step out and do things that are right, that are helpful, and that are edifying. It\u2019s not just <em>happening<\/em> to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> One of the things that happens, when you start thinking that life is happening <em>to <\/em>you, is you remove yourself from the aspect of responsibility <em>for <\/em>what\u2019s happening. But if you\u2019re trained <em>not <\/em>to think that way [that life is happening to you], then you recognize, \u201cNo, I need to make a decision; I need to move forward. I need to\u201d\u2014you know, if you\u2019re in a rut\u2014\u201cget out of that rut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>God is calling you to act, based on what He has\/who He has said you are and what He has given you to do. He <em>always<\/em> makes a way for us, so it\u2019s really about\u00a0 a positive path forward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like what you say [in the book]; you say: \u201cNo one\u2019s life is defined by the good or bad things that happen to them. Your life is defined by your reaction to what takes place. Your chosen response to your life circumstances establishes who you are and the life that you will live.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Those are wise words to say to our kids and good reminders for ourselves.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s really our job, as parents,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to do that and send them into the world with that. Thanks for helping us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thanks for being with us today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be with you guys.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would your son or daughter say, \u201cMy mom and dad are my greatest cheerleaders; they are always cheering me on. They\u2019re always encouraging me\u201d? Or would they say they hear more <em>discouraging<\/em> words from you?<\/p>\n<p>I think, as parents, all of us can do a better job of speaking words of affirmation, words of encouragement, words of life with our children. Matt and Lisa Jacobson have a tool to help us do that. In fact, we\u2019re making the books that Matt and Lisa have written available this week to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who can help us advance the work of FamilyLife through this radio program. When you make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you are pouring into the lives of hundreds of thousands of people who, every day, come to us for practical biblical help and hope for their marriage.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Matt and Lisa\u2019s books\u2014<em>100 Words of Affirmation Your Daughter Needs to Hear <\/em>and <em>100 Words of Affirmation Your <\/em>Son <em>Needs to Hear<\/em>\u2014very practical tools to help you be the cheerleader that your son or daughter needs you to be. Again, you can request copies of Matt and Lisa\u2019s books when you make a donation of any amount. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and donate online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation; ask for the books when you do, and we\u2019re happy to send them out to you.<\/p>\n<p>You know, the reason we have conversations like the one you\u2019ve listened to today is because it\u2019s really our mission, here, at FamilyLife to effectively develop godly marriages and families. David Robbins, who\u2019s the president of FamilyLife, is here with me. David, we want to, not only help moms and dads win at home, but we want to help you [as a listener] help others in your sphere of influence to succeed in their family as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, Bob. I <em>love<\/em> hearing you talk about our mission statement, because we\u2019re passionate about building into families. We know the home is a conduit to build the kingdom of God. The work of parenting, like we\u2019ve been talking about today, has a compounding effect. We are passionate about helping families experience Jesus, and pass it on to their kids, and into their neighborhoods and community\u2014because we\u2019re passionate about that second part of our mission statement that you said\u2014that we know that a people of God, living surrendered lives to Jesus, can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, impact their corner of the world and change the world one home at a time. That\u2019s what we do!<\/p>\n<p>I want to just invite you: if you aren\u2019t signed up for the email that we send out regularly\u2014a couple of times a month\u2014it is meant to encourage and equip <em>you<\/em> to live that out: growing in oneness with God and in your own home, and moving toward others around you, and impacting others for the kingdom of God. That\u2019s what we\u2019re about at FamilyLife, and it\u2019s another <em>great<\/em> way you can be resourced to keep growing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you\u2019d like to receive our \u201cHelp and Hope\u201d e-newsletter, it\u2019s free. You can sign up online at FamilyLifeToday.com; we\u2019ve got a link on our website. Sign up and get extra help and hope sent to your email inbox each month.<\/p>\n<p>And we hope you can join us, again tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to take up the subject of purity. Certainly, that\u2019s a biblical concept; but there have been times recently when folks have done a poor job of communicating what the Bible has to say about purity; it has not been handled well. Ron Deal and Juli Slattery will be with us to have a conversation about that. I hope you can join us for that as well.<\/p>\n<p>And if you have friends who you think would benefit from that conversation, point them to this station. Tell them to tune in and listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>or point them to the podcast. <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is available as a podcast wherever you get your podcasts.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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