{"id":307261,"date":"2021-10-15T07:01:18","date_gmt":"2021-10-15T11:01:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage\/"},"modified":"2021-10-15T07:01:18","modified_gmt":"2021-10-15T11:01:18","slug":"how-to-stay-in-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Stay In Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you stay in your marriage and do it well? Dave and Ann Wilson share four ways to strengthen your relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:48","filesize":"23.62M","filesize_raw":"24772212","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4066,2877],"podcast_series":[8482],"cwp_profile":[3647],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307261","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-intimacy","tag-marriage","podcast_series-finishing-well-in-marriage","cwp_profile-dave-and-ann-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307261\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307261\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rvy8sLMQmr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage\/\">How To Stay In Your Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-stay-in-your-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=rvy8sLMQmr\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How To Stay In Your Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rvy8sLMQmr\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How can you stay in your marriage and do it well? Dave and Ann Wilson share four ways to strengthen your relationship.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been living in an era, where there have been a lot of falls in the Christian life of leaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Falls? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, people that have tripped up in their ministry and have disqualified themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow; that\u2019s a deep topic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s a deep way to start. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been living in an era, where there have been a lot of falls in the Christian life of leaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to share with you something that I really appreciated about you as you\u2019ve been a pastor for over 30 years. One day, this woman came up to me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Is this Praise Dave Day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It sure is right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I like this; I didn\u2019t know this was my special day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t know if other people will think this is praise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But this one woman came up to me; and she said, \u201cYou know, I\u2019ve really been trying to connect with your husband. He feels aloof to me when I come up and I ask him to pray for me.\u201d There was a little hesitation in my heart when she said, \u201cI\u2019ve been trying to connect with your husband,\u201d because I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, what does that mean?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve always appreciated that, when people come up, you are always so willing to pray with them; but when I\u2019m there, and a woman comes up to you, you\u2019re always looking for me, like, \u201cWhere is my wife?\u2014because I want Ann to pray for these women.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about that. Why has that been significant for you, and have you purposefully been aloof to women? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I mean, I\u2019ve heard that as well\u2014that I\u2019ve been aloof\u2014no, I\u2019m not purposely; but yes, I am purposely. We even had a policy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, the answer is \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014not \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, \u201cYes\u201d; but I\u2019m not trying to be <em>mean<\/em>,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014but I have set boundaries. We even, at our church, have boundaries when a woman comes up to pray; we connect her to another woman. We do our best not to have a guy there alone with her; it could be a guy <em>and<\/em> another woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And not because it is wrong for a man to pray for a woman, by any means. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, we are just being careful. It\u2019s an intimate thing to pray with somebody, I think. Even when we built our building and our offices, we have windows on every office; so you are sitting in there, and the world can look in and see. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we\u2019re not trying to exclude people from connecting with each other in ministry. It was just another boundary to say: \u201cIf I want to finish well, I\u2019ve got to set up boundaries and guardrails to help us do that.\u201d That is what we are talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started this conversation, previously, about \u201cHow do you finish well?\u201d Like you said, we are living in a time, where you\u2019ve seen public figures go down; because they\u2019ve made decisions that have disqualified them from the race. Man, oh man, we don\u2019t want to be one of them; we don\u2019t want to be another statistic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about what success is, it isn\u2019t how you start; it\u2019s how you <em>finish<\/em>; that\u2019s what we said previously. The thing we started the discussion on is: \u201cHow do you finish well?\u201d\u2014what did we say first?\u2014we said \u201cfour stays\u201d\u2014the first one was\u2014what?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cStay in God\u2019s Word.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Man, pray together daily; get in the Word together daily\u2014get a devo: <em>The Story of Us<\/em>; you can get from here at FamilyLife\u2014and start working out together, as a couple. If you want to keep you marriage strong, to stay in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The second one is what you\u2019ve sort of just highlighted; I think it\u2019s really a critical one. It\u2019s: \u201cStay away from temptation.\u201d It\u2019s basically: \u201cWhere we walk determines where we end up.\u201d You can\u2019t play with sin, or it will take you down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m always reminded of a passage in James\u2014James, Chapter 1\u2014where James writes this <em>fascinating<\/em>, I think, passage about temptation that sort of gives us a <em>pattern<\/em> of how sin takes place. I\u2019ll read it to you. In James 1:13, he says, \u201cWhen tempted, no one should say, \u2018God is tempting me,\u2019 for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does He tempt anyone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever blamed God for temptation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think a lot of us have; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, Adam did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Remember, in the book of Genesis, when God comes looking for Adam and Eve, he says, \u201cThe woman that <em>You<\/em> gave me\u2026\u201d He blames his <em>wife<\/em>\u2014none of us have ever done <em>that<\/em>\u2014have you ever done that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, he blames <em>God<\/em>; we\u2019ve done that. James is saying you can\u2019t blame God; God does not tempt anyone. Look at this\u2014in verses 14 and 15, he gives you a <em>pattern<\/em>\u2014if you read it closely, you see: \u201cWow; there is a temptation or a sin pattern.\u201d He says, \u201cEach one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full grown, gives birth to death.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really interesting\u2014and I remember studying this, years ago, and finding out that the words in the original language\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWhen the bait is dropped, and the fish is hooked, he is dragged away and enticed,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s literally a fishing term. James is using sort of this fishing metaphor\/analogy to say: \u201cTemptation and sin are sort of the same way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all\u2014he says in verse 14, \u201cBut each one is tempted\u201d\u2014in other words, your temptation is individual to you; my temptation is individual to me. It may be similar, but it could be totally different. Some people can\u2019t walk up to a smorgasbord, because <em>food<\/em> can be a temptation for them. Others can have no problem with that, but they have a problem with alcohol, or sexual temptation, or slander. Do you know what I\u2019m saying?\u2014it\u2019s individual. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you think that Satan\/the enemy has a strategy for us to go down and to fall? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re going to talk about that later\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because that\u2019s one of the other stays: \u201cStay alert.\u201d Now, you just got me off to something else. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut anyway, he says, \u201cBut each one is tempted when by his own evil desire\u201d\u2014so there is this burning longing: like we desire, and it\u2019s pretty strong. He says, \u201c\u2026he is dragged away and enticed.\u201d He is baited, and he gives in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says, basically, that leads to <em>death<\/em> when you give into sin. Now, it doesn\u2019t mean physical death; but there is a separation in our fellowship with God that takes place at the end of temptation when we give in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, are you going to give your famous bait\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Famous?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Famous; it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> famous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think everyone in our church would know this, because you\u2019ve taught this a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve taught this a few times; and the Detroit Lions know this one well, because we\u2019ve talked about it. I think understanding the pattern of sin is important to understand from what James taught us here. I always say this: \u201cPlaying with temptation leads to devastation.\u201d That sounds like a preacher; doesn\u2019t it?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because temptation and devastation\u2014you know, playing with temptation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you look back at this passage in James 1, I find: \u201cHow you win,\u201d and \u201cHow you lose.\u201d It\u2019s really interesting, because he uses a fishing term, I thought, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s lay this out. There are four B\u2019s.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe first thing that happens when we are tempted is there is <em>bait<\/em>. There is bait that is dropped, and each person\u2019s bait is different. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not a fisherman, but I know this: Experienced fisherman use different bait to catch different kind of fish, and they <em>know<\/em> that fish. Sort of what you were saying earlier, if there is an enemy of your soul, he knows what bait is going to draw <em>you<\/em> away compared to someone else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it would be an interesting conversation to have with your spouse, your friends, and accountability group to say, \u201cWhat\u2019s your bait?\u201d\u2014to be really <em>honest<\/em> and say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s your struggle?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is different for everyone, but it might be similar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing. In that passage, he says, \u201cEach one is tempted when, by his own evil desire\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second \u201cB\u201d for me is: the bait is dropped,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tand then there is this <em>burn<\/em>; there is an evil desire. You desire this bait, and you can feel the burn. I call it a burn\u2014it\u2019s like it\u2019s internal\u2014nobody else can see it or feel it, but you can feel it. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re like, \u201cMan, if I am not careful, I could make a really bad decision right now,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s temptation that leads to sin. You don\u2019t do the right thing because this next B\u2014this next decision\u2014I believe determines life or death. It determines you finishing well or you being disqualified in the race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tWhen you lose, it goes from bait to burn to <em>bite<\/em>. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tYou end up\u2014here is the last \u201cB\u201d: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u2014<em>baked<\/em>. [Laughter] The reason I say \u201cbaked\u201d is\u2014again, I am not a fisherman\u2014but I know that you get a fish; you clean it; you put it on a frying pan; you bake it; and you eat it. I think that is what James is trying to tell us. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; in James, when he says, \u201c\u2026and it gives birth to death\u201d; that\u2019s <em>baked<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You are going to be eaten, eventually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the same pattern is true in temptation that leads to sin is:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThere is <em>bait<\/em>. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tSomething in us desires it; there is this <em>burn<\/em>. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tRight here is the decision: \u201cIf you <em>bite<\/em>\/if you give in\u2026\u201d Don\u2019t kid yourself; Galatians says: \u201cWhat a man sows, he will therefore reap.\u201d You are going to reap consequences that are very, very bad if you give into sin. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, sometimes the burning is so strong, we just give in. I remember\u2014was it Duke?\u2014when we put up the electric fence\u2014our little Golden Retriever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We have this Golden Retriever named Duke, and he is a puppy. We are trying to train him with an electric fence. Every day, I would take Duke out; and I am trying to show him his boundaries. But then the neighbor\u2019s dog, Rusty, would always come out and go right up to the boundary. He would wag his tail; and he would bark at Duke like, \u201cCome on! Come and play! What are you waiting for?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going into the house and saying to you, \u201cSatan is out there.\u201d [Laughter] You are like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d \u201cEvery time Duke goes out there, he knows that he can\u2019t cross the boundary. Now, I\u2019ve trained him\u2014he doesn\u2019t have a leash\u2014but he knows, if he goes across that boundary, he is going to get <em>zapped<\/em>. But every time Rusty comes out, he\u2019s like, \u201cDuke, come on! Come on over; pass the boundary.\u201d Sure enough, I can just <em>see<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One day, he did it! We watched him from the family room, looking out there. It was almost like you could see Duke\u2014like he looked over at Rusty\u2014he had been tempted day, after day, after day; and he\u2019d get close, and then he\u2019d go back. He\u2019d win. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen that one day, it was almost like he looked back at the house and said, \u201cYou know what? This is worth it.\u201d It\u2019s like we watch him sprint; he jumped right where the fence was. He almost like braced his body\u2014like [buzzing noise]\u2014and then he landed in our neighbor\u2019s yard. He just ran around with Rusty, who we nicknamed \u201cSatan.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I thought, \u201cWow! We do the same thing.\u201d It\u2019s like we look at the consequences, we look at the sin, we look at the pleasure that\u2019s on the other side; and there are times that we decide, \u201cYou know what? I think it\u2019s <em>worth<\/em> it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I feel like I do that every night when you make popcorn [Laughter]: I sit there\u2014and I think, \u201cI\u2019m not going to do it this time,\u201d\u2014because you put all the butter on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, I load it up with butter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I smell it; it\u2019s like the <em>bait<\/em> is dropped. And the <em>burn<\/em> is there. And I almost always <em>bite<\/em> it. The next morning, I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy did I eat that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you do that?\u2014probably not with popcorn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, here is the thing\u2014we are joking about it\u2014but there are <em>many<\/em> marriages that have been ended because a husband or a wife that said, \u201cThe pleasure of an affair is not going to be that big of a deal. Nobody is ever going to know. It\u2019s just a one night,\u201d\u2014or pornography; it could be alcohol; it could be misuse of money. You can list\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It can be getting on a dating app that really isn\u2019t dating; it\u2019s a hookup app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, that\u2019s <em>playing<\/em> with temptation; leads to devastation. The truth is: \u201cWhat you do in private will one day be public.\u201d You can think: \u201cNobody is ever going to know.\u201d There is a chance nobody ever will know; but I remember Jesus said, \u201cFor nothing\u201d\u2014Mark 4\u2014\u201cFor nothing is hidden except to be made manifest, nor is anything secret except to come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is saying: \u201cDo you understand what I\u2019m saying? What you play with in the dark will come to the light\u201d; and it <em>could<\/em> end your marriage; it <em>could<\/em> end your legacy. I think, sometimes about my dad, and think, \u201cMan, if he just had chosen to stay <em>away<\/em> from temptation.\u201d For him, it was alcohol; and it was other women. It ended my mom and dad\u2019s marriage. It had ramifications on me, as a little boy, growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Devastating effects on your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it could have been devastating effects for generations to come unless God intervened, and saved me and you [Ann], and said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to change the future of the Wilson name.\u201d Again, it highlights how critical it is, when the bait is dropped, and you <em>feel<\/em> the evil desire within you\u2014you have a choice\u2014your choice for good or bad is going impact your legacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you think\u2014you go back to this thing\u2014I said, \u201cThere is a way you win and a way you lose.\u201d We\u2019ve looked at the way you lose: there is bait; there is the burn; you bite your bait. But think about this: \u201cHow do you <em>resist<\/em>? How do you stay away from temptation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I don\u2019t think a lot of us realize is the pattern is very similar. There is still bait in our lives. You can\u2019t get completely away\u2014and we <em>should<\/em> avoid any temptation\u2014but there are still temptations that are going to be in life, so there is still going to be bait. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBelieve it or not, even as a committed follower of Christ, you are still going to <em>desire<\/em> it sometimes. Sometimes, it\u2019s almost overwhelming; it feels like the burn is so strong. So the way you win looks the same in the first two: there is bait; there is burn. But the third \u201cB\u201d is where it all changes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tWhen you lose, you bite. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tWhen you win, you <em>bolt<\/em>. Bolt means you <em>run<\/em>. You <em>bolt<\/em> out of there, and then you are blessed. I don\u2019t mean blessed meaning you\u2019re going to have money, and you\u2019re never going to get sick, and everything is going to be\u2014no\u2014you\u2019re blessed <em>because<\/em> you are finding happiness and joy in obedience to Christ. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tIt comes from the decision\u2014when the bait and burn are in your life, the way you stay away from sin is you literally run\u2014sometimes, you may have to run physically: run out of the situation, run out of this store, run out of this magazine rack, run out of this hotel room\u2014and by the way, I think we all know you make that decision <em>long<\/em> before you get there. Those aren\u2019t the kinds of decisions you make in the moment\u2014those are pre-decisions\u2014which is why I say, \u201cI don\u2019t pray with women at the front of the stage at our church.\u201d I\u2019ve decided I\u2019m going to pass that on to another woman, just to be careful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can remember, before we were married, I was a <em>huge<\/em> flirt, like terrible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you were. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember, after we got married, like, \u201cThis is a hard habit to break\u201d; because I wanted attention from other guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s when we said, early on, \u201cWe need to set boundaries in different areas,\u201d because, yes, it could be harmless in one sense; but you never know when or where that could lead. So man: \u201cStaying in the Word,\u201d \u201cStaying away from temptation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have just a short time. You want to hit the other two? We can hit them quick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think if you want to finish well\u2014oh and by the way, let me say one last thing about temptation\u2014if you are playing with something, you need to tell somebody. If you conceal it, it leads to death. You reveal it; it leads to life. I\u2019m telling you; it really gets into this third one. \u201cStay in the Word,\u201d \u201cStay away from temptation\u201d; the third one is: \u201cStay close to a brother.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you are a husband or a dad, and you are playing with something that you know is fire, you need to tell a brother. If you\u2019re a wife, you need to tell a sister because \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 27:17\u2014so true\u2014\u201cAs iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.\u201d No one finishes a race well on their own. If you want to run fast, run alone. If you want to run <em>long<\/em>, run in community. You need people beside you; you need brothers. We have couples that we\u2019ve done our marriage with for 40 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve raised our kids together. I mean, I don\u2019t think you make it to the finish line and finish well without brothers and sisters\/couples running beside you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, not too long ago, one of our married sons called and said, \u201cYou guys, I am really struggling. I need you guys to know about it. I need you to pray.\u201d Man, it was <em>hard<\/em> for him to tell us. He said, \u201cI just need you to know; I just need other people to know about this; so it\u2019s not alone, and I\u2019m not alone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I always say this: \u201cGod always saves with His power and with His people.\u201d We often think it\u2019s just His power\u2014and in some sense, that is all you need is Jesus and His power\u2014but He always couples that with: you need people beside you, who know your struggle, who can celebrate with you in the joys, and walk with you through the valleys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you are going to finish well, you need to: \u201cStay in the Word,\u201d \u201cStay away from temptation\u201d; and you need to \u201cStay close to a brother, or sister, or couples.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s the last one? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The last one\u2014you mentioned it earlier\u2014\u201cStay alert to the enemy.\u201d I think it is <em>so<\/em> easy to forget\u2014we are trying to finish this race and finish it well\u2014and there is somebody who wants to take us off the road\/wants to take us out. Jesus said, \u201cThe thief\u201d\u2014He is referring to Satan\u2014\u201ccomes only to steal, kill, and destroy; but I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod has a plan for your life, and so does Satan. Man, we talk about, all the time, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> and FamilyLife, His plan for our marriage is oneness, that you would advance the kingdom of God as a couple together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSatan\u2019s plan for marriage is <em>divorce<\/em>. If that\u2019s God\u2019s plan [oneness and advancing the kingdom], he [Satan] wants to split up a Christian couple and say: \u201cThere is no power in God. There is no <em>life<\/em> in God. It\u2019s no different than anybody else.\u201d There is an <em>enemy<\/em>, that you have to stay alert to, to protect yourself and your family if you want to finish well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And we also say, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, that your spouse is <em>not<\/em> your enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> So often, we think, \u201cI know who the enemy is; it\u2019s my <em>spouse<\/em>.\u201d But that is kind of Satan\u2019s lie, like: \u201cYes, your life would be <em>better<\/em> if your spouse wasn\u2019t in it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; so as a couple, you turn <em>together<\/em> against the enemy; and that means \u201cStay alert.\u201d It\u2019s like I picture a husband, and even a wife, standing at the front door of their house and saying, \u201cNo; sin is not coming in to destroy this home. I\u2019m the protector; I\u2019m staying alert. I\u2019ve got my head on a swivel; I\u2019m watching.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I\u2019m thinking God had a plan for my mom and dad; Satan had a plan. Satan sort of won that one as they got into alcohol, and adultery, and even abuse, and then divorce. Then God saves\u2014Jesus saves me and you [Ann]\u2014He says, \u201cI have another plan for the Wilson legacy, and you guys can finish well.\u201d Our part of that\u2014because it\u2019s all on God\u2014but our part is: \u201cStay in the Word,\u201d \u201cStay away from temptation,\u201d \u201cStay close to a brother,\u201d and \u201cStay alert.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What I did\u2014and maybe this could be your application\u2014is\/I said this at a women\u2019s conference: \u201cI took my home <em>back<\/em> from the enemy. I walk around it; I\u2019m praying like, \u2018Jesus, I pray You would surround this house with Your power, with Your angels; Your Holy Spirit would invade this house.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at this conference, I gave all the women a painting stick\u2014you know, a stirring stick\u2014on mine, I wrote what Joshua wrote: \u201cAs for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.\u201d I took that stick, and I buried it. I said out loud: \u201cThis house belongs to Jesus. Lord, I pray You would protect every square foot of this home for You, Jesus, and for Your kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo women\/men, take your homes <em>back<\/em> for the kingdom of God. There is a battle raging; and man, God gives us the power through His Holy Spirit to win that battle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think, so often, prayer is the neglected weapon we have available to us that can transform our marriage and our family\u2014that can strengthen us\u2014whether we are praying on our own or praying together as a couple for our marriage and for our family. It\u2019s a powerful tool that God has given us, and we have a resource at FamilyLife that is designed to help couples pray together regularly. It\u2019s a devotional called <em>The Story of Us<\/em>. This devotional is written by the couples who speak at the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, along with some of our staff, here, at FamilyLife. You can order the devotional when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, Dave and Ann have written the book called <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>, which is all about the importance of, as they like to say, going vertical\/being connected with God for our marriage to be what God wants it to be. That book is available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center as well. It\u2019s also available as a small group video series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of these resources can be ordered from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Build into your marriage\/strengthen your marriage with the resources we have available here. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the best practices of couples, whose marriages thrive all the way to the finish line, is that they are intentional about pouring into their marriage. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife, is here with us today. David, helping couples know how to strengthen their marriage is at the heart of the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway, and those getaways are happening pretty much every weekend this fall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right. The heart of it is spending time together\u2014<em>investing<\/em> time together, away from the hurriedness of life\u2014around timeless truth\/the truth that is transforming in our soul that draws us together in oneness in a way that only God can make us one. That\u2019s why we put on <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em>. We have two this weekend in Raleigh and San Diego. We have four more getaways happening next weekend and many more throughout the rest of the fall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would <em>love<\/em> for you to carve out that time, keep building the layers on your foundation, to make your marriage strong and last for the long haul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, in addition to the <em>Weekend<\/em>s<em> to Remember<\/em> happening this weekend in Raleigh and San Diego, we\u2019ve got events happening in Hartford, Connecticut; Louisville, Kentucky; Parsippany, New Jersey; Little Rock; Cleveland; Florida; Pittsburgh; Sioux Falls. I mean, you can go online to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and find a city near you, where a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is happening this fall. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and the link is there to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. We hope you will join us at an upcoming getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also hope you have a great weekend this weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church, and I hope you can be back with us on Monday when Matt and Lisa Jacobson will be here to talk about what we can do, as parents, to build up, and encourage, and strengthen our kids. How can we <em>affirm<\/em> them and use our words to do that? That\u2019s coming up Monday. I hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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