{"id":307260,"date":"2021-10-14T07:01:31","date_gmt":"2021-10-14T11:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage\/"},"modified":"2021-10-14T07:01:31","modified_gmt":"2021-10-14T11:01:31","slug":"how-to-persevere-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Persevere In Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How can you keep going in your marriage when it feels so hard? Dave and Ann Wilson encourage couples to persevere and finish well.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tDownload the YouVersion app here: https:\/\/youversion.com\/the-bible-app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you keep going in your marriage when it feels so hard? Dave and Ann Wilson encourage couples to persevere and finish well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:44","filesize":"22.65M","filesize_raw":"23754087","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4294,2877,7005],"podcast_series":[8482],"cwp_profile":[3647],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307260","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-family","tag-marriage","tag-spouses","podcast_series-finishing-well-in-marriage","cwp_profile-dave-and-ann-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307260\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307260\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LW62UmV0DX\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage\/\">How To Persevere In Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-persevere-in-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=LW62UmV0DX\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How To Persevere In Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LW62UmV0DX\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How can you keep going in your marriage when it feels so hard? Dave and Ann Wilson encourage couples to persevere and finish well.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So let\u2019s talk about <em>track<\/em>. You don\u2019t judge a winner in a race until the finish line, and that\u2019s the way life is. You don\u2019t judge your life, your Christian walk, your marriage by how you start; you judge it by how you finish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So let\u2019s talk about eighth-grade <em>track<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you remember eighth-grade track? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I actually do remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You were an <em>amazing<\/em> runner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, thank you! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Weren\u2019t you an Ohio Buckeye Conference women\u2019s hurdles champion? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014the 800. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014800; so you ran the 800?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t even know that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I ran the hurdles, but I wasn\u2019t as good at that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know you ran the 800, because\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But did <em>you<\/em> run the 800? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I wanted to tell\u2014my famous 800 city meet in middle school\u2014so \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 years ago, I was in eighth grade; I ran the 800. I wasn\u2019t fast enough to run the sprints. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Track isn\u2019t your thing; how did you end up running <em>track<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I hated track\/absolutely hated it, because I didn\u2019t want to\u2014especially the 800; you have to run two full laps around the field\u2014the only reason I did it was to be in condition for football. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s all I was doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was like, \u201cThis will help me be ready for the late summer\/fall football\u201d; so I go out for track. They stick me in the 800 because, again, I\u2019m just not super-fast; but I can run distance; right? Here is the thing\u2014and you know this was Donnell Junior High School\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014now, they call it a middle school; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I went there too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014later; you were in fifth grade when I was in eighth grade\u2014you\u2019re just a little girl running around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere I am\u2014you remember\u2014the city meet is the <em>best<\/em> of the three middle schools in our city of Findlay, Ohio. You compete for this championship of the city, so this is like the biggest meet of the season. It\u2019s the end of the year, and I never once won an 800 <em>ever<\/em>. My teammate, Tom Jones, won. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait; you were in a sport that you weren\u2019t the <em>best<\/em> at?! There was <em>one<\/em> that you weren\u2019t?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I never won\u2014not one time\u2014I <em>always<\/em> came in second or third because my teammate, Tom Jones\/he, was fast in\u2014he ended up playing high school football with me and baseball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So he won every one of those? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He always won. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve heard me tell this, I think; I decided: \u201cI\u2019m <em>not<\/em> going to finish this race; I <em>hate<\/em> this race\u2014I <em>hate<\/em> it all\u2014I\u2019m not going to finish it.\u201d I decided\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What do you mean you decided not to finish it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I didn\u2019t tell anybody\u2014but I just hated it so much\u2014and I know I\u2019m not going to win anyway; now, we\u2019ve got Tom Jones, who is going to win. There were six of us, two from each school\u2014so the sixth fastest in the whole city\u2014and I\u2019m not going to win. I probably won\u2019t even get in the top three; so I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy even try?\u201d I decided, \u201cI\u2019m going to run the <em>first<\/em> lap; and then right at the turn, going into the second lap, I\u2019m going to fall.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I literally planned it all out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is not like you at <em>all<\/em>; you\u2019re going to <em>fall<\/em> and pretend that you are hurt! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m just going to not finish; because I <em>hate<\/em> this race. I\u2019m not going to win anyway, so why do it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am embarrassed to admit that I am telling this story publicly. Sure enough, the gun\u2014they start the race\u2014and Tom is in first place. I\u2019m literally in last place, going in the first lap\/coming around the turn at the first lap; and now, we have one more lap to go. I\u2019m looking up ahead, and I\u2019m <em>last<\/em>. I\u2019m like, \u201cThere is the turn.\u201d Right at that turn, I\u2019m just going to trip. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do; I literally looked into the infield. I\u2019m just going to fall into the grass, grab my leg, and be done with this! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, somebody can relate. I just <em>don\u2019t<\/em> want to do this anymore, and this is my moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you didn\u2019t want to be humiliated to come in last place, too; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it was the city meet. That\u2019s probably more of it\/was my self-image. [Laughter] Anyway, as I\u2019m coming up to this turn\u2014again, in last place\u2014I wasn\u2019t far behind, but I was behind the last guy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you\u2019re at the flag pole. I know where this is, because it\u2019s when you start your <em>kick<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, this is the <em>beginning<\/em> of the second lap. I didn\u2019t stay that long. [Laughter] There is <em>no way<\/em> I\u2019m staying the whole thing. If I\u2019m going to check out, I\u2019m doing the 400; and I\u2019m out\u2014that was it\u2014the 400 and 20 more yards. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m <em>starting<\/em> the second lap, and just as I\u2019m getting\u2014I mean, three more steps\u2014\u201cThere it is,\u201d \u201cThere it is; I\u2019m going to step out,\u201d\u2014all of a sudden, right in front of me, like five\/four runners got jumbled together; and they fell <em>down<\/em>. They stepped on each other, and they all went down <em>right<\/em> in front of me. I literally had to step over them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did Tom Jones fall down? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, Tom goes down\u2014and the other two\/three runners that were right there in first place with him\u2014because they were all jockeying for position. You\u2019ve seen it in the Olympics or something: they go down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, they went down right in front of me. I literally have to swing outside of them and jump over them. Next thing I know, I look up; I\u2019m in first place! [Laughter] There are like two more runners <em>left<\/em>, and they are all trying to get back up and run; but we\u2019re 30 yards ahead of them now by the time they get back on the track. Now, I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m going to finish this thing!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI could win!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I did! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I won the city meet, eighth grade, 800. I\u2019m your champ right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh! There has to be a great lesson learned in this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s because they fell down, and they finished later; but yes, the lesson learned is this\u2014I learned a really important lesson that day\u2014one is this: \u201cYou never know what\u2019s going to happen. You may think it is too hard; you want to give up; you want to quit. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s around the corner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s really true for marriage\/a lot of different things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s true for life; it\u2019s true for parenting; it\u2019s true in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the big principle that I think we want to talk about today\u2014this applies to marriage and family\u2014\u201cYou don\u2019t judge a winner in a race until the finish line.\u201d Like, if you would have looked at me at the starting block, you would have said, \u201cLoser: he is in last place, right from the beginning; there is no way he is going to win.\u201d But you get to the end of the race, and there I am, standing. That\u2019s the way life is: \u201cYou don\u2019t judge your life, your Christian walk, your marriage by how you <em>start<\/em>; you judge it by how you <em>finish<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought it would be good to talk about: \u201cHow do you finish well?\u201d Now, here is the thing about finishing a race. You know where the finish line is: it is two laps, or one lap, or whatever. In life, you don\u2019t know; but if you are going to finish well, it means, \u201cI\u2019ve got to live today well, because today could be the finish line.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you\u2019re living today like it <em>could<\/em> be your last day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, in many ways. And I would say this\u2014this is the big idea\u2014the big idea is: \u201cIt\u2019s not how you start that matters, but how you finish.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou often think the greatest picture of a marriage is your wedding picture on your wedding day\u2014and that is a <em>glorious<\/em> moment and, in many ways, a <em>glorious<\/em> picture\u2014but I think a more beautiful picture is the couple that\u2019s standing together 20 years later; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary; 50<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> finishing well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, and we know\u2014after being married 41 years\u2014there are a lot of <em>dark<\/em> moments that have been in 40-some years\/50 years for <em>any<\/em> couple, where you want to quit. You can quit\u2014and you can even pick the day, like, \u201cI\u2019m checking out right here, right now,\u201d\u2014you just <em>never<\/em> know what could be around the next corner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s true for those, who have been remarried\u2014to think\/if you\u2019re thinking right now: \u201cOh, the first one didn\u2019t work,\u201d and maybe, they feel like, \u201cThis one is not either,\u201d\u2014to not give up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking about my parents; they were married 70 years. I remember looking at them\u2014we were there to celebrate their 68<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary\u2014we went down for that. I can remember seeing them\u2014and my mom had Alzheimer\u2019s for 12 years by that time\u2014my dad had cancer; he also had several heart attacks. I\u2019ll never forget\u2014they had both fallen asleep\u2014and they had chairs, side by side. Remember this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They were asleep, and they were just holding each other\u2019s hands. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a picture of marriage: of being in it the long haul.\u201d That\u2019s a true picture of love, because they\u2019ve endured; and they\u2019ve gone through so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They have\u2014here is a word I think we need to resurrect\u2014persevered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I actually looked up the definition to persevere. Look at this; it says: \u201cTo continue on a course of action, even in the face of difficulty, or with little or no prospect of success.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s perseverance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are dating, or engaged, or you are in your newlywed days, you may think, \u201cOh, we are not going to need\u2026\u201d\u2014oh, yes, you are going to persevere in the face of difficulty, with little or no prospect of success. I mean, our <em>great<\/em> start to marriage lasted less than six months. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is true! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, it was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014six months of paradise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, it was <em>glorious<\/em> on the wedding day. We go to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> even two weeks before our wedding; we think, \u201cWe don\u2019t even <em>need<\/em> this conference.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, because \u201cWe are <em>so<\/em> amazing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; six months later, we are struggling; and that didn\u2019t <em>end<\/em>. It continued to struggle. Here we are, 41 years later, because we persevered. Many know our story; but God met us there and helped us persevere,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014in the valley. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014but it has been <em>tough<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s sort of interesting: I think we live in a time where we are watching a lot of people not finish well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They are falling on the track. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, Christian leaders\u2014people are deconstructing from the faith\u2014some of our leaders have made decisions that have become public, and they are not finishing well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would it look like to finish well?\u2014not just as a follower of Christ\u2014but as a husband, or a wife, or a mom, or a dad? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of Paul writing to Timothy. One of the last books that Paul wrote was the second letter to Timothy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It <em>is<\/em> the last book that he wrote. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The last chapter is sort of his closing remarks on his <em>life<\/em>. I <em>love<\/em> what he said in Chapter 4; he says: \u201cI charge you, in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom, preach the word; be ready in season and out of the season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching,\u201d\u2014which is a <em>great<\/em> word as he is speaking, sort of on his death bed\u2014\u201cBe ready in season to do the work of the kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then he goes on: \u201cAs for you, always be sober-minded, enduring suffering, doing the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry\u201d\u2014we all have a call\u2014then he says this: \u201cFor I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love this statement in verse 7: \u201cI have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.\u201d That\u2019s perseverance in the Christian walk; and we know Paul\u2019s story has all kinds of hardship, all kinds of persecution. He could have easily quit and said, \u201cI\u2019m done\u201d; but you talk about a leader in the faith, who persevered and finished well\u2014it\u2019s Paul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, let me ask you\u2014we both have this passion of finishing well; it was even before we were finishing\u2014we are older now, but we just wanted to burn for Jesus. I see that in you: \u201cWhat compels you? Why is that? Why do you want to finish well? Why do you want to do it so well?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s a marathon; it\u2019s a long race, and the testimony of God\u2019s power and presence is finishing well. I think it\u2019s a testimony to our generation and the next generation that: \u201cThey didn\u2019t quit; they didn\u2019t turn in the towel; they hung in there, in good times and dark times; and they experienced the very power of God in their life, and in their marriage, and in their family. Even when it got hard, they rolled up their sleeves; and they said, \u2018Jesus is here. He can meet us. He can get us through it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs that what you are looking for? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I feel that same way of, like, \u201cMan, Jesus changes <em>lives<\/em>, and He gives people <em>hope<\/em>, and He gives marriages and families <em>hope<\/em>.\u201d Isn\u2019t that what people are looking for?\u2014especially in our culture today. We need <em>hope<\/em>, and we need answers of <em>how<\/em> to do this well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I would say, \u201cAs you think about this, I would be asking this question: \u201cHow? How do you finish well?\u2019\u201d We are going to give you four stays to finish well. If I can remember, 20-some years ago, I think I read in a book by Steve Farrar what he called \u201cthe four stays.\u201d I am borrowing from Steve Farrar; but it\u2019s like the first one would be this: \u201cStay in the Word.\u201d Stay <em>in<\/em> the Word; I think we get off the rails, or we lose focus and purpose, when we get out of God\u2019s Word. If we do that, we can easily <em>not<\/em> finish well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of what Jesus said in John 15; He said, \u201cAbide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.\u201d When you hear that, what do you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That same thing, like, \u201cHow do I stay connected to Jesus?\u201d I don\u2019t mean when I am about to die or finishing; I\u2019m saying, \u201cEvery single day, staying connected to the vine is <em>essential<\/em>, like we are going to wither and die [without connection].\u201d I think of our grandson picking flowers for me. By the time he walks them into the house, they are kind of wilting; because they are disconnected from the root. For us, we <em>cannot<\/em> be disconnected; because that\u2019s our <em>power<\/em> source. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know one of the greatest things I <em>love<\/em> about you, which nobody gets to see but me, is almost every day of our marriage, I can remember\u2014and it\u2019s still true now\u2014walking into the kitchen and seeing you with your one-year Bible; or seeing you on the deck with your one-year Bible, and your journal, and your pen, and your paper; sometimes, seeing you on your knees with your hands raised, even on the deck, worshipping God. How many years have you gone through the one-year Bible? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think 16 now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in a row? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. Every year I do it; I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, this is so good!\u201d There are new things that God shows me. There are new things that I want to study, and it ignites my soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can remember one time talking to these women about what happens when I don\u2019t spend time in God\u2019s Word. I brought out this old sponge that hadn\u2019t been used in <em>years<\/em>. If you\u2019ve taken your finger across that sponge, it would sound like [crunching sound]. It\u2019s just <em>crusty<\/em> and <em>hard<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when you are in God\u2019s Word, it\u2019s like you pour water\/like Jesus said, \u201cI will give you rivers of living water.\u201d Every day that I am in that Word, I feel like God\u2019s Word is being poured into me. It softens my heart so that it\u2019s not hard and crusty. It helps me, then, to hear God\u2019s Word; it helps me to obey Him; it helps me to know what He says. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and one of the things that our listeners don\u2019t know is that anytime we get into the car, and we are going on a trip, you say this every time: \u201cHey, let me read you what I\u2019m reading today in the one-year Bible.\u201d I\u2019ve got to be honest; every time, I\u2019m like, \u201cYou\u2019re going to <em>read<\/em> it out loud?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You <em>hate<\/em> it when I do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But you <em>love<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to read it out loud. Honestly, I never stopped you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And then I say the same thing: \u201cOh, isn\u2019t this so good?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You do every time. It\u2019s like the <em>fire<\/em> in your relationship with Christ and the fire in my relationship with Christ really resonates out of <em>staying in the Word<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do the same thing. You\u2019re not going through the one-year Bible, but you are <em>always<\/em> studying God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I\u2019m just like\/even as a pastor, I thought\/over 40-plus years of ministry, I realized: \u201cPeople really only want from their minister: they want to know that you\u2019ve been with Jesus today.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They just want, when they meet you for lunch and they need help in counseling, they\u2019re just sort of wondering, \u201cHave you been with Jesus today? Has He met you, and do you have anything for me?\u201d It\u2019s either an overflow or it isn\u2019t. Jesus said, \u201cYou abide, and there will be fruit.\u201d It\u2019s so easy in ministry to concentrate on the fruit; and He saying, \u201cNo, don\u2019t concentrate on the fruit. Concentrate on the root; connect.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe said, even in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book, \u201cMan, if you are going to keep your relationship dynamic, you need to pray together daily.\u201d That\u2019s staying in the Word <em>together<\/em> so that you finish well in your marriage. I would say, \u201cIf you are married, and you are not praying together daily, <em>that\u2019s<\/em> your action step.\u201d Just choose today to say, \u201cWhat if we started praying together as a couple?\u201d Some of you\u2014maybe, you are thinking, \u201cWe\u2019ve never\/I don\u2019t pray out loud,\u201d\u2014you can start today. It can be a very short prayer; and you say, \u201cHoney, let\u2019s pray.\u201d What would you say if your husband doesn\u2019t want to pray?\u2014you [Ann] say this all the time: \u201cJust pray anyway.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; just pray anyway\u2014put your hand on your husband, and thank God for them\u2014pray: \u201cJesus, I pray that You would protect us\/guide us.\u201d If your spouse isn\u2019t good with that, just pray anyway\u2014maybe, if they don\u2019t like you to pray out loud, just pray silently\u2014but to love them and to show them the love of Jesus. I think one of the things\u2014you put down this quote, which is <em>so good<\/em>\u2014\u201cLight yourself on fire with passion, and people will come from miles to watch you burn.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIsn\u2019t that true?! You can <em>tell<\/em> when people have been with Jesus, because they are <em>burning<\/em> for Him. There is something <em>so<\/em> attractive like, \u201cMan, I want that fire. They have a joy and an essence about them that is contagious.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think the same thing is true in a home. Kids sniff out fakery. If mom or dad aren\u2019t really walking with God\u2014aren\u2019t staying in the Word; aren\u2019t abiding\u2014you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> fake it. You may be able to fake it outside your home in some ways. You cannot fake it in your marriage; you cannot fake it in with your kids, as a parent. You can\u2019t fake a fire; it\u2019s got to be <em>stoked<\/em> in the furnace of God\u2019s Word and God\u2019s Spirit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like you can\u2019t go a <em>day<\/em> apart from Him; because Jesus said, \u201cApart from Me, you can do nothing.\u201d Can you do a marriage that stays hot for 10, 15, 20, 30 years? I know it\u2019s easy to think: \u201cI just need to fall more in love with her,\u201d or \u201c\u2026more in love with him,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s part of it\u2014but I think the fire comes from the Word of God and the Spirit of God alive in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think a good question to ask at this point is: \u201cIf you had your heart in your hand, would it sound like [crunching noise]\u2014like that crusty sponge? How have you filled up that heart?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we don\u2019t do it perfectly by any means\u2014and none of us do\u2014but man, there is something when God gets a hold of those hearts, and we surrender them, that He does something <em>magnificent<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I would even add\u2014we said there are four stays, and we\u2019ve only talked about one; [Laughter] we\u2019re going to continue this\u2014but I do think, if this first \u201c<em>Stay<\/em> in the Word\u201d is not the foundation, the others don\u2019t matter; because you don\u2019t have power\/you don\u2019t have His perspective to be able to do the others, because they are action steps. This first one is: \u201cAm I going to be willing to sit and train in godliness by making the Word a part of my daily workout?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany of us work out physically, and we don\u2019t <em>miss<\/em> that workout. What about your spiritual body? Are you willing to <em>pay<\/em> a price to say: \u201cI am going to walk with God,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to lead my family in a walk with God\u201d? Again, one of the ways to do that is to pray every single day, together, with your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I would add one more thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Uh-oh; one more thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> As you said pray and get in God\u2019s Word, download the YouVersion app. I\u2019m talking right now to young moms. You\u2019re thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t even have time to read\u201d; but you can <em>listen<\/em>. Put one earbud in, and listen to God\u2019s Word as you are doing the dishes\/as you are doing something. You can get God\u2019s Word in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019ll add one more [Laughter]; I just thought of this. Get <em>The Story of Us<\/em>. It\u2019s the devotional that we, as the FamilyLife speakers, all wrote in; and it\u2019s a devo for couples. You can just open that thing\u2014it\u2019s a guide\u2014and that\u2019s one way you can get in the Word together and, literally, let God transform you and transform your family as you stay in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the key idea in what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today is that we need to be purposeful and intentional about building spiritual practices in our own lives and in our life together as a couple. The resources they just mentioned: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<em>The Story of Us<\/em> devotional that the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> speaker team helped to create: that\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> resource for couples to use. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\tThe YouVersion app: we\u2019ve got a link to that app on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. The app is free; you can download it and start using it <em>immediately<\/em>. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019re interested in <em>any<\/em> of these resources. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, Dave and Ann have written a book called <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> that is about the kinds of practices that we build into our marriage that will help our marriage go the distance. It\u2019s available both as a book and a small group study. All of the information about these resources can be found on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to order any of the resources from us. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick shout out today to those of you who are the folks who made today\u2019s program possible\u2014those of you who are, not only listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, but who financially support this ministry. Thank you for that support; you made this conversation possible. There were hundreds of thousands of people, who have been impacted because of your generosity. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. Your donations keep this program on the air on this local station; you make it available as a podcast\u2014our website, our resources, our events\u2014all of that happens because of your financial support, so we are grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to make a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of a book we talked about earlier this week. Becky Harling joined us to talk about how we can be better listeners to our children, things we can do to help open them up. Becky\u2019s book is called <em>How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk<\/em>. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Thanks, in advance, for your support. We appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when Dave and Ann Wilson are going to talk, not only about the things we can be doing so that our marriage will stay strong all the way to the finish line, but some of the things we can avoid doing\/we can watch out for. We\u2019ll continue the conversation tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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