{"id":307249,"date":"2021-10-04T07:01:27","date_gmt":"2021-10-04T11:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last\/"},"modified":"2021-10-04T07:01:27","modified_gmt":"2021-10-04T11:01:27","slug":"spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last\/","title":{"rendered":"Spiritual Life Skills For Kids: How Do I Build Habits That Last?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Are you looking for doable ways to disciple your children? Janel Breitenstein offers ideas to build spiritual life skills for kids and encourage their Christ-anchored identity.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you looking for doable ways to disciple your children? Janel Breitenstein offers ideas to build spiritual life skills for kids and encourage their Christ-anchored identity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:28","filesize":"23.32M","filesize_raw":"24448915","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2806],"tags":[4798,2209],"podcast_series":[8479],"cwp_profile":[2801],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307249","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-permanent-markers","cwp_profile-janel-breitenstein","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307249\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307249\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9BlUcR3PmS\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last\/\">Spiritual Life Skills For Kids: How Do I Build Habits That Last?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritual-life-skills-for-kids-how-do-i-build-habits-that-last\/embed\/#?secret=9BlUcR3PmS\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Spiritual Life Skills For Kids: How Do I Build Habits That Last?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9BlUcR3PmS\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are you looking for doable ways to disciple your children? Janel Breitenstein offers ideas to build spiritual life skills for kids and encourage their Christ-anchored identity.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-10-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So I remember asking our kids one day\u2014I think they were 8, 11, and 13\u2014and I said, \u201cHey, guys, let me ask you this.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You were <em>always<\/em> asking them.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was. [Laughter] I said, \u201cWhat do you think the <em>values<\/em> of our home are?\u2014like, \u2018As the Wilsons, <em>these<\/em> are the family values of our household\u2026\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I actually didn\u2019t want to know. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know! You wouldn\u2019t ask these questions.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was like, \u201cThis is not going to be what we hoped for. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s true.\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\nI was actually in an accountability group. We all decided, \u201cLet\u2019s ask our kids this.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat do you think the <em>values<\/em> of our home are?\u201d And so here\u2019s what they said: first son said, \u201cOur value is sports.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Amen! [Laughter] What is wrong with that?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My head fell down to my chest as he said that. [Laughter] The next son said, \u201cI think our values are God and sports.\u201d So my chin lifted a little higher. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He got God in there; that\u2019s good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The next son said, \u201cChurch, sports, and fun.\u201d I have to tell you that kind of made me think, \u201cUh oh; we might need to change things around here a little bit\u201d; and I\u2019m blaming you! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you: I take full responsibility.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, in some ways, it was a great question to ask; but you\u2019ve got to know, at that age especially, the answer you\u2019re going to get is what you\u2019re <em>living<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They are <em>watching<\/em> mom and dad. It doesn\u2019t matter <em>what<\/em> we say, because we would have never said sports should be number one.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No; that wouldn\u2019t even have been <em>in<\/em> my values.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would have said, \u201cSports should be 1a but not 1. [Laughter] No, seriously, we would have hoped that sports was not in the top three.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My hope is Jesus\u2014like that\u2019s my hope\u2014so we came a little close on some of them, but that was eye-opening to me.\n\nWe have a guest with us\u2014Janel Breitenstein\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Thanks. I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> excited to be here.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re excited to have you, Janel, because you\u2019ve written a book called <em>Permanent Markers<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here\u2019s another thing that some people probably don\u2019t know. You\u2019ve written a lot of things for FamilyLife.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> That\u2019s true.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if the readers always know that you\u2019re the one that have written them. Tell us a little bit about yourself.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; and tell us some of the projects you helped write, here, at FamilyLife.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> My husband and I were on staff for seven years.\n\nMy parents moved here when I was 15; they are now staff chaplains. I think one thing that they\u2019re great at doing is listening to people, and hearing their stories, and receiving their pain. There are a lot of people who just feel very connected to them, because they have a deep emotional intelligence and a lot of ability to shepherd people.\n\nThankfully, this book is a lot of their legacy; because they\u2019re really creative parents in the way that they taught me, and that\u2019s while they were still growing in grace. My mom even just recently apologized to me for a way that they wished they would have raised me back in the day. To have your parents grow into that grace, that\u2019s a gift. I hope I\u2019m that kind of parent someday that can come back and circle back with even more repentance, and even more of God\u2019s kindness, and an understanding of the gospel with my kids.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sweet.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> For FamilyLife, I\u2019m actually a freelance writer now. I head up their \u201cI Do Every Day\u201d devotionals that you can get in your inbox every day. Several of those are mine; I write articles on a regular basis. I\u2019m in charge of their upcoming online courses, and do a lot of marketing copy, and things like that. I\u2019ve got my hands in a lot of pots that make me really happy with FamilyLife. I\u2019ve actually gotten to edit a lot of Dave and Ann\u2019s stuff for some of our upcoming online\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> See! Thank you; somebody\u2019s editing that stuff. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> No editing\u2014like I come up with the discussion questions\u2014that\u2019s my big contribution. So now I know that maybe Ann shouldn\u2019t be trusted by houseplants; but other than that, I really love her. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s true, <em>very<\/em> true.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019re also, obviously, a wife and a mom of four?\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes; but sometimes, it feels like six\u2014but I think you know what that is\u2014three boys and a girl\u2014my oldest is now seventeen, going down to twelve. My hands feel really full. Now, looking at the content of some of the <em>Permanent Markers<\/em> from the perspective of parenting teens, just gives me even more reverence for the work we do with young kids that feels so thankless when we\u2019re in it and feels so fruitless.\n\nOne of the things it reminds me of\u2014there\u2019s a scene in the movie, <em>Taken<\/em>, with Liam Neeson\u2014his daughter\u2019s about to be kidnapped, and she calls her dad. He\u2019s able to give her a few instructions before she\u2019s kidnapped by the enemy. Sometimes, we don\u2019t know the battles our kids will face, whether as they\u2019re teenagers or as adults; and what we\u2019re able to input into them, in creative engaging ways when they are young, they will <em>never<\/em> forget. That\u2019s the <em>Permanent Markers<\/em>\u2019 part.\n\nEvery single one of my kids took to a table, or a wall, or something like that with permanent markers. [Laughter] This is not revenge for all of that scrubbing, but it is we want to write spiritual life skills on our kids\u2019 hearts. That\u2019s a large part of what we\u2019re doing; we\u2019re preparing them for what we don\u2019t know.\n\nRecently, I had a friend of mine who\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve just got to say, before you tell us this story,\u2014\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes, please do.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You just won me over with a Liam Neeson movie reference. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We all understood what you were saying. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Janel: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWay to go, girl\u201d; you know? It\u2019s like, \u201cWow!\u201d\n\nI know the <em>Permanent Markers<\/em> idea\u2014here\u2019s something funny\u2014our youngest took a stone\u2014which again. great parents; right?\u2014we didn\u2019t notice what he was doing for fifteen\u2014\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> I know\u2014boys!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He was in the garage, but I was outside.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was probably ten minutes or so that we weren\u2019t\u2014\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> That\u2019s all it takes. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He <em>carved<\/em> <em>his name<\/em> onto the side of our minivan\/carved <em>through<\/em> the paint to the steel.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Oh! That\u2019s an expensive ten minutes; isn\u2019t it?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He went through a phase, where he was putting his name on everything. On his bedroom furniture, we would always see \u201cCody.\u201d\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Why is it always their name? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know; it must be an identity thing.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You talk about it in your book\u2014it\u2019s <em>identity<\/em>\u2014whether it\u2019s a stone or a marker.\n\nWe are trying, as you said, to build life skills into them that stick; right?\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if you remember where you were going with that, but you were talking about some friend.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> I do. I had a friend of mine, who just lost her husband\u2014she\u2019s my age\u2014to cancer\/to pancreatic cancer. They have three kids. Her mom is also a friend of mine; and she said, \u201cYou know what? I keep looking at my daughter and imagining her running around in footie pajamas.\u201d She said, \u201cI just didn\u2019t know I was raising her for this.\u201d\n\nThe reality is\u2014when our kids are eight years old, or they\u2019re losing their front teeth, or they\u2019re carving their names into the side of our minivan\u2014we don\u2019t see what we\u2019re raising them for: and the story, the pain, and the triumph that we\u2019re raising them for. Ultimately, we\u2019re raising them for the kingdom.\n\nThat\u2019s not to put too much weight on what we\u2019re doing so that, again, we\u2019re waking around in fear. But instead, to ground ourselves <em>so deeply<\/em> in the message and kindness of Jesus Christ so our kids will draw from that for the rest of their lives, like that tree in Psalm 1.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Janel, I\/my heart just resonates with you; because what we do matters\u2014\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> It does!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014in the home. You feel like, \u201cDoes anything matter?\u201d You feel like you don\u2019t have a life as a mom; you feel like you\u2019re just running on empty a lot; and the demands of life are just crazy because you\u2019re packing lunches, and you\u2019re running to practice, and you\u2019re doing wash, and you\u2019re going to work. There\u2019s so many things going on.\n\nBut I think it\u2019s really important, as you\u2019re saying, to stop and recall\/like: \u201cThese days in our home, they make a difference.\u201d And to make these <em>deposits<\/em> in our kids, that\u2019s going to be something you <em>never<\/em> regret. You\u2019re not going to do it perfectly, but we can do some things that will really help. You\u2019re going to help us with that today.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Man, I hope so; [Laughter] I hope so. I think that the cornerstone that I think you guys would probably come back to with me is ultimately the life that we experience in Christ ourselves, because we can\u2019t roll out what we\u2019re not experiencing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> You could do every single one of these today; and you could really miss that my message is not: \u201cTry harder.\u201d Moms and dads are <em>exhausted<\/em>; they are <em>so<\/em> tired. They feel so, at times, <em>fruitless<\/em> in what they\u2019re doing. The reality is, if we think that we are more worthy parents because we\u2019re doing any of this, we can get into a false gospel ourselves, where we are more worthy because of what we do. That\u2019s just <em>so<\/em> different from the message of Jesus Christ.\n\nUltimately, the core verse for me in this entire book is 1 Corinthians 3:6, where it says that: \u201cPaul planted; Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.\u201d It\u2019s you\u2014as a mom, and you as a dad, and camp counselors, and grandparents, and all those babysitters, and all those coaches\u2014who are cultivating around us; but ultimately, it is only God who creates this in our kids. It\u2019s Him we\u2019re leaning into as dependent parents.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, Janel, since we\u2019ve started here, talk to us about how, as a busy mom\u2014you have three boys and a daughter, so you\u2019re crazy busy\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Crazy ratio by the way\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014boys and girls\u2014wow!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But how, with that busy schedule, do you maintain that vibrant walk with Jesus?\u2014and your husband as well?\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> You know, that\u2019s a great question. I think it was <em>so<\/em> hard to make time for that when I was a young mom; because as soon as I got horizontal, I just wanted to sleep; you know? [Laughter] It got to the point, at some times, where I just wanted to check off the box. I think I had to get to a point in my relationship with God that He was my \u201cget to,\u201d and He was my \u201cMe time,\u201d and to properly look at Him to really see Him.\n\nI don\u2019t have to make time, in my particular marriage, for my husband because my husband is my \u201cget to\u201d; I <em>want<\/em> to make time. Date night is my \u201cget to.\u201d I think that\u2019s an equivalent, as a mom or as a dad: \u201cCan God become our \u2018get to\u2019?\u201d \u201cCan we get to a point\u2014and sometimes that started out really just with very physical cues from me\u2014I started doing things like: \u201cI\u2019m going to make a latte,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to put on my lavender lotion,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to soak my feet during my quiet time,\u201d so that I could associate that time with nurture and see God as He really is through my senses. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good idea; I think that\u2019s important too. I know that I had this woods and a path behind my house. In the summers, I would, every night, go just maybe a lap or two on this little path. It reminded me of Adam and Eve walking with God in the cool of the day, and I couldn\u2019t <em>wait<\/em> to get there. It seems like, the longer we\u2019re away from God, the colder our hearts get. So even if you can just get away for a few minutes\u2014a few Bible verses\u2014you know, when our kids are really little.\n\nI\u2019m telling you\u2014that time in the woods on that path, if people saw me, they would think I was crazy\u2014I\u2019m singing; I\u2019m dancing; I\u2019m yelling, \u201cJesus!\u201d [Laughter] Because in those laps, it\u2019s like He filled me up enough that I had something to give out.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ann, by the way, she would often say, \u201cNo; I don\u2019t want you with me.\u201d [Laughter] It wasn\u2019t really a bad thing; it was like: \u201cI need alone time, and I really want you to be with the boys.\u201d\n\nIt was a moment where I get to be with the boys. I get my walk in the wood, which was totally different; I go play golf. [Laughter] But I mean, it really was\u2014\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> \u2014the woods. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014something that kept you sane as a mom.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I heard you say that: \u201cthe woods.\u201d\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Did I get my sports reference credit?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s pretty good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like it.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> I really appreciate it. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s more graphite than woods, but they call them woods. [Laughter]\n\nLet me ask you this\u2014as we started talking about the values we\u2019re trying to instill in our boys when they\u2019re little\u2014and we asked them: \u201cWhat\u2019s important in the Wilson house?\u201d\u2014what are those? What are the permanent values you\u2019re <em>hoping<\/em> to instill in your kids? You\u2019re still doing it. What would they answer?\u2014and are they going to answer what you\u2019re hoping? I don\u2019t even care what they\u2019re going to answer. I want to know: \u201cWhat are you <em>hoping<\/em> they would say?\u201d\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> question. I feel like, unfortunately, I\u2019m going to give the kind of Sunday school answer to that. Ultimately, I hope it\u2019s some form of the gospel. I mean, there are going to naturally be specific ways that my family leans in its subculture because of who my husband and I are. You\u2019re sports. I mean, our versions of that are going to naturally lean in; but anytime that something gets added,\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hey, I\u2019m not just sports by the way. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m more than a pretty face\u201d; right? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you see her?\u2014my wife is saying, \u201cYes, you are; it\u2019s all you are.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014my wife is saying, \u201cYes, you are; it\u2019s all you are.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014and music\u2014sports, and music, and Jesus.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay; go ahead girls. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Hey, I like this. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m feeling teamed up on here, but anyway.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Most of the time, when I\u2019m asking, I\u2019m trying to ask my kids heart-probing questions.\n\nA lot of times, it boils down to: first of all, I <em>hope<\/em> the gospel, which I don\u2019t want that to become a clich\u00e9 or something that I can\u2019t unpack.\n\nBut I also ask them: \u201cWas this loving or unloving?\u201d \u201cWas this wise or unwise?\u201d Because I feel like so much of Scripture is\u2014I mean, Jesus says how we love is summed up in the first two commandments.\n\nAnd how we apply Scripture\u2014I think that wisdom is so much the entire book of Proverbs\u2014right?\n\nI would hope that those would be my first three values.\n\nThere\u2019s this moment\u2014I would work at FamilyLife one day a week when my kids were little just because it did make me a better mom just to be known by a different identity for one day a week. [Laughter] My mom would watch the kids. There was one morning when my mom anger\u2014I\u2019ve had a problem with mom anger for the majority of my kids\u2019 lives. They can tell you exactly what my sins are; and hopefully, it\u2019s because I\u2019ve told them; they know what to look out for.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you probably apologized for them, so they remember.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes, many times; yes, that\u2019s exactly it. I blew up at one of my kids; he was four. I decided to call him from work. I picked up the phone, not really ready for that call; but my mom put my son on the phone. I just said, \u201cHey, I need to apologize to you again. I lost my temper this morning; and it was not like God, who is slow to anger. I just lost it, and I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d\n\nHe said \u201cMom,\u201d\u2014he said\u2014\u201cthat\u2019s okay. I forgive you; and I want to let you know that, even when you do bad things, I love you. And even when you do bad things, God loves you.\u201d I was like, \u201cWhoa, my four-year-old just told me the gospel.\u201d [Laughter] Ultimately, that\u2019s what I\u2019m saying when I think the gospel; that\u2019s\/even a four-year-old can tell us that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So Janel, I know that, when you write a book, it really\/you\u2019ve poured your blood, sweat, and tears; it\u2019s your passion. So when you wrote this, what were you <em>hoping<\/em> that parents would get out of it?\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> There\u2019s so many different ways that our kids are entertained and engaged in our culture. Nickelodeon<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is kind of one of our competitors for our kids\u2019 attention, whether\u2014or it\u2019s an i-Pad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or something like that\u2014our kids are engaged in every single space in their lives now. It\u2019s a very kid-centric environment when they go to school.\n\nI realized one day\/I read a quote by a guy with the last name of Mercier; and he said, \u201cWhat we learn with pleasure we never forget.\u201d I realized that with my young kids; they were self-driven to learn whatever they were interested in. I had a kid, who wanted to be a zoologist while he was still kind of mangling his z\u2019s. We had all of these thick animal encyclopedias, and he knew all the names of the birds in our backyard. This is a kid of four or five, and he was self-driven to learn what he was excited about. And that\u2019s every single one of my kids\u2014if they\u2019re into dancing, if they\u2019re into music, or whatever, if they\u2019re into sports\u2014they\u2019re self-propelled; they do most of the work for me.\n\nI thought, \u201cOkay; if they\u2019re engaged in every other part of their lives, but not engaged in that way with Scripture\u2014and they associate Scripture with boredom; and they associate God with being stiff; and we do this grocery list of things, and everything is a checked box\u2014are my kids going to be self-driven to explore their faith and to internalize it?\u201d\u2014they\u2019re not! As a person, who\u2019s\u2014I have a couple of sons with learning disorders and things like that\u2014I realized I had to work smarter, not harder, in order to <em>engage<\/em> those kids.\n\nThis book is about spiritual life skills and how we can write them on our kids\u2019 hearts in ways that are engaging and fun. Your kids won\u2019t even know they\u2019re learning so that, hopefully, they get the bug for <em>God<\/em>. They\u2019re excited because of the way we convey Him, and they associate God with pleasure.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So how did you do that?\u2014you know associate God, or even getting in the Bible, with positive pleasure. Because you write about it, and I find that fascinating; because often, parents don\u2019t do that. The church often can miss that; it\u2019s like: \u201cRead your Bible.\u201d Its like a duty; its like a legalistic thing: \u201cIf you do this, you earn points with God,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to bring some joy to something that should be joyful.\u201d\n\nAs a parent, we have the creativity to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to make this\u2026\u201d So how did you do that? How did you make it pleasurable, or fun, or joyful?\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes; I totally see what you\u2019re saying. I think God is sometimes the most <em>boring<\/em> parts of our kids\u2019 lives if we\u2019re not careful, which is such a <em>travesty<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Janel: <\/strong>The greatest wonder in the universe: we\u2019ve reduced Him to the most boring thing in our kids\u2019 lives.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s so funny; because Dave has always said\u2014as a preacher and preaching the gospel\u2014he would say, \u201cIf people are bored in your church, it\u2019s not because God\u2019s Word is boring; it\u2019s because your preacher is boring.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would always say, \u201cIf people fall asleep during your sermon, wake up the preacher.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what it was.\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> Yes! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s the preacher\u2019s fault. I mean, the Word of God is the most glorious, astounding, fun, incredible, life-giving\u2014and again, we do that, as parents, with our kids, you know\u2014\u201cSit down,\u201d \u201cListen,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t say a word,\u201d \u201cYou can\u2019t walk around,\u201d \u201cYou can\u2019t crawl on my neck.\u201d\n\nIt\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no; this should be a joyful moment, even as we open the Word of God.\u201d I\u2019m just asking: \u201cWhat did that look like in <em>your<\/em> home?\u201d\n\n<strong>Janel:<\/strong> I mean, I will say that, in <em>Permanent Markers<\/em>, you will find entire lists in each one of these life skills. There are sections of children\u2019s book lists; there are sections of resources that you can use; there are sections of: \u201cHere are games and things like that you can play with your kids to kind of make it exciting.\u201d\n\nBut I think part of it\u2014just as some overall principles\u2014there are a couple of things. First of all, I think I\u2019m aware\u2014or I\u2019m increasing in my ability to be a student\u2014of my kids and how God has made them in their unique workmanship; because we want to dovetail with the ways they\u2019re naturally made.\n\nSo that son, who enjoys animals: we talk about God as Creator; and we talk about Him as engineer and architect, and how He made each of these animals; how He helps them to adapt and all these things.\n\nWe dovetail with their natural proclivities:\n\nMy daughter, who is artistic: \u201cWell, let\u2019s do your quiet time with a bunch of markers in hand,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s make some posters for Bible verses.\u201d\n\nIf you love music: \u201cLet\u2019s make a worship playlist,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s make a courage playlist.\u201d\n\nWe take things that our kids are <em>naturally<\/em> interested in:\n\nIf they\u2019re into sports, we do games that involve their <em>whole<\/em> bodies.\n\nMaybe they\u2019re even just a kid, who wrestles with their dad: \u201cYou know what? This is how God loves us. He loves us with an all full-body bear-hug love,\u201d and \u201cHe\u2019s down on the floor\/on the carpet with us.\u201d\n\nIt\u2019s drawing those connections.\n\nObviously, in your analogy of the preacher, with the congregation sleeping\u2014if that\u2019s happening\u2014I think it\u2019s the preacher, who needs to look inward about: \u201cHow do I see God?\u201d and \u201cHow am I interacting with Him?\u201d\n\nSo first, we start with our own passion; then we move out to our kids\u2019 own passions. I think, connected to that, if you had a personal trainer, who comes alongside you\u2014let\u2019s say you\u2019ve got two different persons the trainer\u2019s training\u2014they\u2019ve got the person, who is the couch potato, who would rather have their hand in a bag of chips; and you\u2019ve got the person, who will, when you give them 20 pushups, they\u2019ll raise you 20 more.\n\nI think, based on where your kids are at, we need to keep pace with God in our kids\u2019 lives. Some of our kids are not going to be the kind of kids, who are going to want to do Scripture memory competitions; some kids are. \u201cWhat are the ways that we naturally work with where they\u2019re at in their spiritual fitness in order to creatively come alongside them and sensitively?\u201d Rather than treating our kids like they\u2019re pressed out from an assembly line, we\u2019ve got to work with their natural bent like Proverbs 22:7 says.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s <em>so<\/em> wise. I think for every parent to give their kids a vision for what God has for them. Each of your kids\u2014it will look a little different\u2014and isn\u2019t that beautiful? Because God is so creative, He has something so unique for each of our kids in their passions, in their abilities, and their gifts.\n\nI\u2019ve said this before\u2014but when our kids were <em>so<\/em> little\u2014and I would just say \u201cI can\u2019t <em>wait<\/em> to see what God has for you.\u201d They really just thought it was a present. It really is a present when you discover who you are\/when you discover\u2014\u201cThis is what I was born to do,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m good at this,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m passionate about this,\u201d and that \u201cGod made me in a unique way to do this thing on the earth,\u201d\u2014it could be an array of things. It brings glory to Him, and it brings satisfaction to my soul.\n\nMan, that\u2019s a gift we give our kids and something that they can anticipate, like: \u201cGod has something more for me,\u201d\u2014bigger than playing video games every day; not that video games are bad\u2014but the enemy of our soul wants to put our kids in a mold so that they are not living out the potential of who God has made them to be.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I do think, at the end of the day\u2014and you mention this in your book\u2014it\u2019s really going to be an overflow from mom and dad. You can\u2019t instill in them something that\u2019s not in you. It\u2019s Deuteronomy 6: these commandments are to be on your hearts, as parents, and impress them on your kids.\n\n<strong>Janel: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>There are parents, listening right now, [who] are like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can make it through today.\u201d You\u2019ll make it; your kids will. Hang on; get on your knees; find your strength and power from God, and take another step.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All of us are leaving a mark\/an imprint in the lives of our children for good or for ill. As parents, our desire, our hope, our prayer is that we will be training up our children in the way they should go, according to the Scriptures\/that we\u2019re disciplining them well. I think, for so many of us as parents, we understand what the goal is; but to know exactly <em>how<\/em> to do it\u2014to have the tools we need to do it\u2014that\u2019s where it can be challenging. That\u2019s what Janel Breitenstein has provided for us in the book that she\u2019s written called <em>Permanent Markers<\/em>. This is a book that is full of super-easy activities and ideas that will point your kids toward God. There are questions to kickstart some meaningful conversations. This is a practical guidebook for moms and dads.\n\nIn fact, we\u2019d love to send you a copy. We\u2019re making this book available to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. Simply make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and we\u2019re happy to send you Janel Breitenstein\u2019s new book, <em>Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids\u2019 Hearts<\/em>. Again, our number is 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can get in touch with us to donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nNow, tomorrow, Janel Breitenstein joins us again. We\u2019re going to hear about how important it is for us, as parents, to help our children understand where their worth and their value comes from\u2014that it\u2019s not in their performance\u2014it\u2019s in their identity. How do we drive that point home with our children? Dave and Ann Wilson will be here tomorrow with Janel Breitenstein. I hope you can be here as well.\n\nOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\n<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\n1","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307249"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307249"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307249"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307249"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}