{"id":307238,"date":"2021-09-22T07:00:07","date_gmt":"2021-09-22T11:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful\/"},"modified":"2021-09-22T07:00:07","modified_gmt":"2021-09-22T11:00:07","slug":"marriage-breakable-but-beautiful","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage: Breakable, But Beautiful"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriages are breakable, but worth fighting for. Pastor and author, Jonathan Pokluda teaches us about the greatest enemy of marriage and how to combat it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:40","filesize":"24.42M","filesize_raw":"25605713","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2810],"tags":[7001,2877],"podcast_series":[8476],"cwp_profile":[9594],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307238","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-growing-spiritually","tag-growth","tag-marriage","podcast_series-marriage-handle-with-care","cwp_profile-jp-pokluda","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307238\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307238\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"7KRV69rZxs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful\/\">Marriage: Breakable, But Beautiful<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-breakable-but-beautiful\/embed\/#?secret=7KRV69rZxs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Marriage: Breakable, But Beautiful&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"7KRV69rZxs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Marriages are breakable, but worth fighting for. Pastor and author, Jonathan Pokluda teaches us about the greatest enemy of marriage and how to combat it.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tWho taught you what marriage is? When you would define it, who would most inform that? I think it\u2019s going to be different than you want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you say, \u201cWell, the Bible or God or my Sunday school teacher.\u201d No, it\u2019s probably Hollywood. It\u2019s probably movies that you\u2019ve seen\/most likely your parents, whether they stayed together or didn\u2019t\/those around you. All you know is breakable marriages and, for some of us, broken marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this expectation is a major issue and something to blame as we think about this reality that we\u2019re not getting better at marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a message today from JP Pokluda\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and we love him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014favorite.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>This is a message he gave at his church, Heritage Creek Baptist Church, in Waco, Texas. I mean, he can preach. This one was on marriage. He\u2019s walking through Ephesians 5. It is just some really, really good teaching on marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think our listeners are going to enjoy this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, so enjoy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> It\u2019s been kind of a nostalgic time for me as the season has turned colder, and I\u2019m just thinking back; this week in particular was just thinking back to our place in Dallas and some relationships there that we left. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was scrolling through some pictures, and I was reminded of this swing that we had in our front yard. It was a disc swing that someone had made for us and gifted to us. It was this wooden disc. We had hung it on this tree in the front yard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s a picture. This is\u2014you see Presley there. You come up. You look over the door of the house; you\u2019ll see Weston, my son, swinging on this swing. They loved this swing. They would go out there for hours\u2014no lie\u2014and just get after it on this swing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause it was on the front of the house, the neighborhood would come. It was just very normal for me to be sitting in our living room, look out the window and see two or three kids that I didn\u2019t know on this swing playing on it. We just said, \u201cHey, it\u2019s a free for all. Anybody\u2026\u201d which always made me a little bit nervous because I\u2019d hung the swing. I was just like, \u201cYou know, at some point.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my kids would go out there. They would have a big time. They loved this swing. It was such an incredible source of joy and entertainment and just of fun\u2014a source of fun for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, on this particular day, the whole neighborhood is there, it seemed like. There was six or seven\/eight or nine kids huddled around this swing all backed up. They were swinging each other taking turns. I heard the giggling coming through the window. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen one person\u2014they were an oversized kid, let\u2019s say\u2014they ran and jumped up and landed on the swing and it just hit the ground. They disc just kind of went to the ground. They were okay. No hospital visit. They were a little shaken up. There was a little bit of tears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what was\u2014everyone that had enjoyed this swing was circled around them. They just kind of looked like, \u201cWhoa! It can break.\u201d I think their minds were going back to the times when they were flying through the air. Praise God it didn\u2019t happen when they like shoot them through the neighbor\u2019s house. I mean, praise God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it\u2014so the guy\u2019s on the ground. There are some tears. Everyone circled around him, and they\u2019re like, \u201cIt\u2019s breakable.\u201d All of a sudden this thing that was this amazing source of entertainment and joy and life and fun, wasn\u2019t anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I fixed it. I went out there, made sure everything was okay, put it back, did a double knot this time; secured it well. Everything\u2019s fine. I\u2019m like, \u201cHey, guys, it\u2019s fixed. You all go ahead.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re like, \u201cUh-uh.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like, \u201cNo, no, it\u2019s fine now. It\u2019s actually better than it was.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNope.\u201d I couldn\u2019t, at this point, get them to play on this swing because from their perspective they learned something. They know that thing that\u2019s supposed to be fun and full of joy and entertainment and enjoyment is breakable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this is our view of marriage today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis gift from God that was given to us\/this covenant of marriage\/all we know every single person hearing this right now, the only marriage you know is a breakable marriage\/the kind that doesn\u2019t necessarily have to last forever or even a lifetime here on earth. All we know is breakable marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this informs the way we view it and what we do with it and what we think about it, and when we think about it, how we treat it and how we approach it. I think we need to have a little family huddle and say, \u201cHow are we doing? How are we doing at getting along? How are we doing today at marriage?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s happening this morning, I want to talk about real marriage, real marriage, the mandates, the mission and the mystery; before you leave here, talking about the mystery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to ask you, who taught you what marriage is? What most informed your view of marriage?\u00a0 When you think about marriage\/when you would define it, who most informed that? I think it\u2019s going to be different than you want.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you are going to say, \u201cWell, the Bible or God or my Sunday school teacher.\u201d No, it\u2019s probably Hollywood. It\u2019s probably movies that you\u2019ve seen\/most likely your parents, whether they stayed together or didn\u2019t\/those around you. All you know is breakable marriages and, for some of us, broken marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this expectation is a major issue and something to blame as we think about this reality that we\u2019re not getting better at marriage. We\u2019re not getting better. We have more tools than we\u2019ve ever had\/more things speaking into this, but it\u2019s not something that we\u2019re getting better at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor my single friends who are already has rolled their eyes thinking, \u201cOh great, they\u2019re talking about marriage\u2014not relevant to me.\u201d No, it\u2019s <em>especially<\/em> relevant to you because we can capture you at this time and help define your expectations. Because Monica and I do a lot of premarital counseling. A lot of times we\u2019ll have the couples take what is called a <em>Prepare and Enrich<\/em> test. In this test it will show us special areas of interest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s a few of the questions that are asked there. One is\u2014you answer true or false this\u2014\u201cMy partner will meet all of my needs for companionship.\u201d Most couples say, \u201cTrue.\u201d That\u2019s of course false. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMy partner\u2019s interest in sex will be the same as mine.\u201d Most have said, \u201cTrue.\u201d Again, very, very false. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI believe I know everything there is to know about my partner.\u201d Ha ha, that\u2019s just a funny one. [Laughter] Skip that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNothing could cause\u2014\u201d this is the one that every single marriage I\u2019ve done has missed\u2014every single one\u2014\u201cNothing could cause us to question our love for one another.\u201d They say, \u201cTrue,\u201d and I say, \u201cYou\u2019re going to question your love for one another before you get back from the honey moon, man. That\u2019s happening. That is in reality.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a call the other day from a friend, actually of a wedding that I was a part of\/not that I officiated but one we were at. She just said, \u201cWe\u2019re struggling. I think we\u2019re incompatible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve just got to say, \u201c<em>You are<\/em>, because you\u2019re two human beings\/two sinners\/two sinful human beings. Though you were both created in the image of God, you have different interests. You\u2019ve been raised in different homes. You have different hobbies\/different likes. You approach conflict different. You are very incompatible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI liken it to \u201cGod made them male and female\u201d; like oil and water. All we\u2019ve done our entire life is really repelled each other in some ways. This is\u2014we\u2019re just different\/opposite in a lot of ways\/like two ends of the magnets that push each other apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet then we get married. We stand before a preacher, and we say, \u201cFor richer or poorer; in sickness and health; until death do us part,\u201d and then we go on the honeymoon. It says, \u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.\u201d [Genesis 2:24 Paraphrased]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got the two flesh\/two people. So then it\u2019s one. There\u2019s like this oneness that takes place in marriage where we are forced to get along\/to learn how to adjust to each other and meet each other\u2019s needs. This is a picture of biblical marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We\u2019ve been listening to JP Pokluda give a marriage sermon at his church. I tell you what, that guy\u2019s good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The exciting thing is he\u2019s going to be on the Love Like You Mean It<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> cruise speaking on marriage, as well. You can not only come on the cruise with us but if you sign up right now, you get a special discount for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I really do hope that people will take advantage of that because <em>it is a great week<\/em> on the ship where you go deep with one another, but you\u2019re also learning so many biblical principles about marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to be a great cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s go back to JP\u2019s message. He sort of dives into something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The \u201cS\u201d word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The \u201cS\u201d word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to be in Ephesians chapter five. Rather predictable text on marriage. Could\u2019ve went somewhere unpredictable but why not just dive into where the Scripture covers the topic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we move through Ephesians 5, we\u2019re going to look at \u201cThe Mandate of Marriage,\u201d \u201cThe Mission of Marriage,\u201d and \u201cThe Mystery of Marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSubmit to one another out of reverence for Christ.\u201d [Ephesians 5:21, NIV] Such an important line. Because it cloaks everything where we\u2019re about to go. \u201cEveryone\/all of you\/husbands\/wives\/male\/female submit to one another out of reverence for Christ\/be subject to each other. \u201cDo nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider the other person more important than yourself.\u201d [Philippians 2:3 Paraphrased]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSubmit to one another out of reverence for Christ.\u201d Hold on to that. That\u2019s important. \u201cWives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. [Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could underline the word \u201csubmit\u201d and you would do it a few times there. We don\u2019t like this word. In fact, a lot of people say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s outdated. It doesn\u2019t apply to the 2000s\/today. This is an old idea.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you are already angry. You\u2019re thinking about \u201cOkay, how do I look like I\u2019m going to the bathroom and just get back in the car.\u201d Hang tight. Hang in there with me if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeter writes, \u201cWives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands.\u201d [1 Peter 3:1 NIV]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain in Colossians, Paul writes, \u201cWives, submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.\u201d [Colossians 3:18] There\u2019s something in this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow it doesn\u2019t say, \u201cSubmit to a man\u201d\u2014this is important single friends\u2014doesn\u2019t say \u201cSubmit to a man,\u201d and doesn\u2019t say, \u201cSubmit to sin.\u201d\u00a0 If a man is asking you to sin, don\u2019t submit to him. But it\u2019s talking about something even greater than ourselves. It\u2019s talking about Christ and the church. I\u2019m nodding; Paul is nodding; The Holy Spirit is nodding where we\u2019re going in this text. You\u2019re starting to see some.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere did you learn about marriage? I think it\u2019s different than what you think it is. We don\u2019t like this idea of submit, and what\u2019s interesting about that is the Scripture actually said that you wouldn\u2019t. So when you don\u2019t, you\u2019re just playing into what God told you right at the beginning was going to happen. Because in Genesis chapter three, when sin enters the world, this perfect relationship\/a relationship that worked well between a husband and wife\/the first husband and wife on the earth, all of the sudden it\u2019s fractured. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says because it\u2019s fractured, this is what He says will happen. He says to the woman, \u201cI will make your pains in child bearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.\u201d [Genesis 3:16] It says, \u201cYour desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYour desire\u2014\u201d I read that, and I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s not so bad, you know?\u201d But that\u2019s not what it means. Where it says \u201cYour desire\u201d in Hebrew, that word, it shows up again just a chapter later with Cain. It says, \u201cSin is crouching at your door and it desires you. It desires to devour you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it says, \u201cYour desire will be for your husband,\u201d read, \u201cYour desire will be for your husband\u2019s role.\u201d You will now fight him for the steering wheel. You\u2019re going to fight him for that role. Again, Scripture says this right off the bat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight about now the men are kind of \u201cYes, see I told you.\u201d There\u2019s some elbows going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.\u201d [Ephesians 5:25] What\u2019s another word\u2014and gave Himself up for her?\u2014what\u2019s a word for that? We came up with \u201cYes, I think \u2018sacrifice\u2019 would be a good one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next time he says to you, ladies, \u201cThe Bible says you\u2019re supposed to submit to me,\u201d you just go back and say. \u201cWell, the Bible says you\u2019re supposed to die.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWash your hands of that and move on. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo, no, the Bible says, \u201cYou\u2019re supposed to put all of my interest in front of your own. When have you done that? What if you said you would? As you\u2019re wanting me to submit can you tell me what you sacrificed to lead us to this decision that you want to take? What has it cost you? What have you put aside? How do I know you\u2019re not doing this out of your own interest and your own desires?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSubmit,\u201d that\u2019s a hard ask. We spend a lot of time talking about that, which is always confusing to me because to me it doesn\u2019t even seem fair. Now grant it, I\u2019m biased. I\u2019m a guy but I\u2019m like, \u201cSubmit, that\u2019s the easier one of the two.\u201d Did you see that second half\/the role that I\u2019m supposed to play, to lay my life down for her at every minute? What does she need to submit to other than service?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is our issue. When we think of leadership, we think of authority. Biblical leadership always\/every single time means service. We don\u2019t have a concept for that. That\u2019s why we struggle with these ideas. Mark 10[:45], \u201cFor even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as ransom for many.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalking about leadership. \u201cWe get to lead, right, Jesus?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo, you get to serve.\u201d So the mandates of marriage are <em>submission<\/em> and <em>sacrifice<\/em>. Submission and sacrifice. Again, Paul is beginning to paint a picture of this metaphor that is more about Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians 2:6 says, \u201cWho being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage.\u201d Jesus, who was God\u2014He\u2019s not fighting the Father for some authority and saying, \u201cNo, but don\u2019t you forget, I\u2019m God, too.\u201d He plays a role equal in rank but playing a different role; equal in worth\/in value but plays a different role. Equal in rank but plays a different role. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cI think that\u2019s a dated idea. I don\u2019t think we should play different roles in our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the deal, everybody thinks that to some degree, but let me just tell you that when Monica and I are laying in our bed\u2014alright, we\u2019re there, we\u2019re about to go to sleep and somebody kicks in the front door, there\u2019s not a scenario where I\u2019m like, \u201cHey, why don\u2019t you go check that out?\u201d [Laughter] \u201cI\u2019m going to wait here. I\u2019m going to hold this down. What you want my gun. Here, take; go see who\u2019s here. Somebody\u2019s present\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys\u2014you guys wouldn\u2019t want me to lead you. You wouldn\u2019t listen to me. We all like these ideas to a certain degree. There was a cruise ship that happened in 2013 and dudes were throwing women out of the way to get on the life raft and the entire country said, \u201cWhat a joke.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose weren\u2019t men. Because everyone knows that the man goes down and the woman goes free. God created us to play some roles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn marriage we are called to give to each other 100 percent and expect nothing in return which is extremely very, very difficult. Because in my flesh, I don\u2019t want to sacrifice my desires. I want to do what I want to do, and this alone is why we fight. It\u2019s the only reason we\u2019ve ever, in the history of marriage, have ever gotten in an argument. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJames 4 says it like this: \u201cWhat causes fights and quarrels among you? Don\u2019t they come from your desires that battle within you?\u201d The desires in you\u2014selfishness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan I tell you something? Selfishness is the enemy of marriage. Selfishness is the enemy of marriage. Marriage is a university. It\u2019s a teacher. It\u2019s a professor teaching you not to be selfish. It is a source of joy. If you might be thinking, \u201cWell, then I don\u2019t want to do it.\u201d No, it\u2019s a source of joy. It\u2019s a source of fun. It\u2019s a source of encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also say to my single friends, \u201cI can do anything for a moment. For a moment I can submit. For a moment I can sacrifice. For a moment I can tell you how beautiful you are. But when I\u2019m to do that for the rest of my life, that\u2019s where it gets really, really challenging. That\u2019s when things begin to fade.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys remember this in dating, right? For my married friends, you remember when you dated each other. You guys did some silly stuff. I know because I did some silly stuff. Man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I met Monica Rubin, it was just like my heart was ripped out of my chest; sat on a platter. I was hopeless. I was done. I became a student of her. I learned that she liked TCBY, a place I had never been to. But they had this white chocolate mousse yogurt, and she liked it with Heath Bar toppings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of the sudden I found myself there every other day. I was\u2014she worked at the salon at Ridgewood Village, and I would bring her this TCBY yogurt and just make excuses, \u201cOh, I was just in the neighborhood. Oh, you work here. I forgot that. Here, isn\u2019t this what you like. Here you go. I got two just in case.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would do silly stuff. I would leave messages\u2014as it began to take off, I would leave these voicemails. I would sing \u201cBoys to Men\u201d to her. [Laughter] I know it\u2019s so dumb. I know you think less of me now. I was just like\u2014 [Singing Inaudible]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe loved Fazoli\u2019s. I hated Fazoli\u2019s. [Laughter] but she was like, \u201cDo you like Fazoli\u2019s?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cI love it, man. I love it. Man, that trio\u2014get all three. It\u2019s amazing. Let\u2019s go,\u201d right? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we view marriage like it\u2019s like the wedding. The wedding is like when the flower is in full bloom and it\u2019s been cut from the vine. It\u2019s there and it\u2019s beautiful for everyone to see. From that moment forward, the next day, it just begins to fade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve just kind of accepted that as normal, when really the real gardening starts after you say, \u201cI do.\u201d That\u2019s when you start watering. That\u2019s when you start nourishing. That\u2019s when you start pouring into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus <em>submitted<\/em> to the Father\u2019s will, and the Father <em>sacrificed<\/em> His only Son. In the gospel, you see these ideas, submission and sacrifice. So marriage is one of our greatest opportunities to show the world that the gospel in the way that we submit and sacrifice for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can ask this question tonight: \u201cHow can I do a better job of pursuing you? How can I do a better job of pursuing you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen listen, don\u2019t get defensive and do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is normal, even natural, for marriages to have a slow drift toward isolation over time. But as pastor and author, Jonathan Pokluda, has said today, when you begin to accept that as inevitable or as just the way things are, you\u2019ve given in to a temptation at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s design for us is to tend to our marriage\/to work on our marriage. That\u2019s what Jonathan has been talking about in today\u2019s message. We\u2019re going to hear part two of this message tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan is going to be joining us as one of our speakers this year on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>\u00a0that happens the week of February 6<sup>th<\/sup> in 2022. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCruising is back. It\u2019s safe. Cruise lines have been operating for a few months now. Everything\u2019s going fine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are ready to step onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/em> in February of 2022. The cruise is about 70 percent full so we\u2019re coming to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to let you know this is your last opportunity to sign up and join us in February for the <em>Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to Jonathan Pokluda, there will be other speakers like Dave and Ann Wilson. Ron Deal\u2019s going to be onboard; Dr. Juli Slattery. The Kendrick brothers are joining us and others: artists\/musicians. It\u2019s going to be a great week in the Caribbean together. The 2022 <em>Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now we\u2019ve got a special offer for <em>FamilyLife<\/em> Today listeners. You can save a little money if you sign up between now and October 4<sup>th<\/sup>, so go to FamilyLifeToday.com. All the information you need is available there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can call us to get any question that you have answered, or if you\u2019d like to sign up for the cruise call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear part two of the message we began today from pastor and author Jonathan Pokluda, who again is going to be with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise <\/em>in 2022. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan talks tomorrow about how we can find the hope and help we need when we come to a tough spot in our marriage. There is hope and there is help and we\u2019ll talk about how you find that tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307238"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307238"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307238"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307238"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}