{"id":307232,"date":"2021-09-16T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2021-09-16T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/daves-parenting-mistakes\/"},"modified":"2021-09-16T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2021-09-16T11:00:06","slug":"daves-parenting-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/daves-parenting-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Dave&#8217;s Parenting Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dave Wilson, co-host of FamilyLife Today, reveals some of his greatest parenting mistakes and shares how he experienced God&#8217;s grace in the midst of them.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dave Wilson, co-host of FamilyLife Today, reveals some of his greatest parenting mistakes and shares how he experienced God&#8217;s grace in the midst of them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:25","filesize":"26.02M","filesize_raw":"27283008","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[2209],"podcast_series":[8474],"cwp_profile":[3647],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307232","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-parenting","podcast_series-no-perfect-parents-daves-and-anns-mistakes","cwp_profile-dave-and-ann-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307232\/daves-parenting-mistakes","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307232\/daves-parenting-mistakes","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9j1Ow2ABeJ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/daves-parenting-mistakes\/\">Dave&#8217;s Parenting Mistakes<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/daves-parenting-mistakes\/embed\/#?secret=9j1Ow2ABeJ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Dave&#8217;s Parenting Mistakes&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9j1Ow2ABeJ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dave Wilson, co-host of FamilyLife Today, reveals some of his greatest parenting mistakes and shares how he experienced God's grace in the midst of them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, I have a news flash for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, okay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think it\u2019s really anything you don\u2019t know, but I just thought I\u2019d update you and let you know I was not a perfect dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, yes; and you were not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What?! I was not a perfect mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I mean, it sounds obvious; but we wrote a book called <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. I tend to think that they read that title and they think, \u201cYes, you wrote a book called <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>; but you guys are authors, and you host <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, so you were much better than the average parent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Hopefully listeners have discovered that: \u201cOh, the Wilsons really are not perfect.\u201d We really wanted to share with you some of the things that we put in the book, actually parenting mistakes that we made. We wanted to be really honest with you and show you what this looked like, not just to beat ourselves up, but hoping that you\u2019ll see that there are no perfect parents\u2014that we\u2019re right there with you\u2014but we\u2019re also hoping that you\u2019ll learn from us, maybe, what not to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I was going to say today\u2019s exciting, but I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m excited to share our mistakes. But there\u2019s nobody in the studio\u2014it\u2019s just you and I\u2014talking about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 11 in the book, which we titled \u201cMy Top Five Parenting Mistakes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which you wrote. Way to go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I wrote my top five; it could have been my top fifty. There weren\u2019t enough pages to fill it, because there were a lot more than five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> By the time I was ready to write mine, they\u2019re like, \u201cOh, too many pages! You guys can\u2019t include yours.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019re going to hear yours in a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I probably have 500.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Today, let\u2019s talk about a few of the mistakes I made.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, before Dave even gets there, maybe some of <em>you<\/em> have been struggling, feeling like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m failing. I need help with my two-year-old.\u201d You have so many questions. We want to help you with that. You can always go to\u2014 FamilyLife.com\/ParentsAsk\u2014ask your questions. Tell us the things you feel, like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m struggling with this\u2026\u201d Maybe you need answers and help, because we want to help you; so go to FamilyLife.com\/ParentsAsk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Let\u2019s start here. When I opened this chapter, I wanted to make the point, that I think we all need to hear, is that: \u201cOften, we do not see our mistakes. We don\u2019t even know they\u2019re happening or real.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I was alerted to with this was: you used to tell me, early in our marriage, and even early in our parenting years, that I would be <em>harsh<\/em> with my words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes! We would go through this\u2014it was quite a while\u2014and I was so frustrated. I told you: \u201cYou\u2019re so harsh with me! Your tone makes me feel like you hate me, or I\u2019m stupid; and you roll your eyes.\u201d The non-verbals were destroying me, and I would <em>say<\/em> that to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t see it. I was like, \u201cYou\u2019re crazy!\u201d I would say it like that\u2014harsh, roll the eyes, a flippant little comment\u2014walk out of the room, like, \u201cI\u2019m not like that at all.\u201d Obviously, if there was a mirror, you could see it; but I couldn\u2019t see it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you remember I said to you, \u201cI am going to record it. I am going to secretly record you.\u201d You\u2019re like: \u201cWhatever! Even if you recorded me, you would see that I\u2019m fine. You\u2019re just overly sensitive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell them what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So we go to visit my parents, and all our kids were little. My dad had a VCR camera, which was new at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> VCR; it was the kind you carried around on a backpack.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; so we were recording the boys; it was really fun. We didn\u2019t know it at the time, but Dave didn\u2019t turn off the camera. So later that night, we\u2019re like, \u201cHey, everybody,\u201d\u2014all my brothers were there, my sister, my parents\u2014\u201ccome in and watch this video,\u201d we made of all the grandkids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re watching it; and everybody\u2019s like, \u201cOh, this is so cute!\u201d But then, when you think the camera\u2019s going to stop\u2014you can tell the camera\u2019s now pointing to the ground, because it\u2019s still going\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But the audio picked up our little fight we got into when the kids and the parents left the room. The camera was still going; and on that audio, you can <em>hear<\/em> my tone of voice. You can\u2019t see me rolling my eyes; but it\u2019s <em>obvious<\/em> that I think I\u2019m the world\u2019s smartest man, and you\u2019re the dumbest wife. I mean, it\u2019s just arrogant, and flippant, and harsh. It\u2019s all the things you\u2019ve been trying to tell me that I denied I ever do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you guys, he was <em>so<\/em> embarrassed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, your whole family\u2019s <em>watching<\/em> and listening to this\u2014and there it is\u2014they look over at me, like, \u201cWhat a jerk!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThank You, Jesus!\u201d because I had been praying, \u201cLord, I don\u2019t know what to do. He doesn\u2019t hear me; this is really hurting me.\u201d And then that happened; and I\u2019m like, \u201cJesus heard my prayer.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019ve been perfect ever since!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; but we\u2019re telling the story because, that day, I could see what you\u2019d been telling me. I\u2019d been making these mistakes and doing this for <em>years<\/em>, and <em>denying<\/em> it, because I couldn\u2019t see it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I will say, you are not like that anymore; in terms of, when people confront you, and share truth with you\u2014when <em>I<\/em> do that\u2014you\u2019re really open to it, where you didn\u2019t used to be open to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I do think one of the gifts God\u2019s given us\u2014and it\u2019s true in marriage and it\u2019s true in friendships\u2014is He gives us people that can be a mirror to us. Your spouse is a mirror; I began to realize that\u2019s a gift from God. Your spouse can sharpen you to become like Jesus\u2014that\u2019s our ultimate goal\u2014I want to be like Christ. I won\u2019t ultimately be there until I\u2019m standing before Him in heaven; but God gives you a spouse to call out things\u2014hopefully, speak life\u2014but at times, they\u2019ll go, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t know if you know this; but you\u2019re really harsh with your words.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can get defensive or we can go: \u201cWow, I think iron is sharpening iron right now. God wants to use her\u201d\u2014or him\u2014\u201cin my life to make me more like Him.\u201d If you <em>receive<\/em> it as a gift\u2014we literally call it a gift in our home: \u201cIt\u2019s a gift,\u201d\u2014if you receive it that way, it can make you better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The secret is how you relay that truth and that gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and all that to say\u2014these mistakes we\u2019re going to share very quickly\u2014and I encourage you to get the book and read them yourself, and then have a conversation about them. I often didn\u2019t see these mistakes when I was <em>living<\/em> these mistakes. Now, looking back, it\u2019s like, \u201cWow, I wish I wouldn\u2019t have done this\u2026\u201d I hope these can help you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first one I wrote it this way: \u201cMistake #1: I left my soul at the office.\u201d Basically, that was just how I was\u2014so driven as a pastor, as a chaplain of an NFL team, to be successful in my work\u2014and often, when I got home, I didn\u2019t have any energy. I mean, I had energy; I just didn\u2019t bring it home like I brought it to the office, or to preaching, or to leading a Bible study with the Lions players. I came home tired and sort of felt entitled to rest. I sort of walked in the door, like, \u201cThis is Ann\u2019s job; the kids are Ann\u2019s job. She doesn\u2019t have half the job that I have, because my job is <em>so<\/em> much harder than hers.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would walk in the door, and I felt like\u2014I look back\u2014and I left my soul\/all my energy went to the church, and I didn\u2019t bring as much to my home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was interesting, too\u2014because I was so frustrated because, as a mom with three little boys, I was tired\u2014it\u2019s exhausting. I would watch Dave\u2014and I\u2019m sure some listeners are thinking, \u201cYes, I relate to this,\u201d especially wives\u2014I would see you with your friends, and coworkers, and even in your job; you were <em>amazing<\/em>\u2014like a dynamic leader, communicator, you\u2019re fun and funny\u2014then you\u2019d come home, and you\u2019d be super quiet. You\u2019d sit on the couch or watch TV; and I was like, \u201cI want that guy\/that fun, dynamic leader to be engaging with our kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> In some ways, I think we get applauded for what we do at the workplace sometimes; we\u2019re cheered. I also felt like I knew what to do there\u2014I went to school for this; I\u2019ve trained in this; people tell me I\u2019m good at this\u2014I come home, and I often feel inadequate. Sometimes, you were telling me I wasn\u2019t very good at it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of those are excuses, because the truth is\u2014and what I want listeners to hear is\u2014\u201cYour job as a mom\/your job as a dad, as a wife\/as a husband\u2014there\u2019s no more important job than that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m driving\/on my drive home, I learned a little rhythm that I got into, where I would have this mailbox on the way home\u2014I didn\u2019t go over to the mailbox\u2014but I\u2019d look at it; and I\u2019d visually, with my mind, open that mailbox: take my job, as a pastor, and put it in; and pull out my job, as a dad and a husband, and put it on. So when I drove in my driveway, a few minutes later, it was like: \u201cI know I\u2019m tired; I know I\u2019m exhausted\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter\u2014I have to bring as much energy into this home as I\u2019ve been bringing all day. It\u2019s actually more important than what I\u2019ve been doing all day,\u201d\u2014not that all day didn\u2019t matter; it was very important\u2014but it was like: \u201cMan, this is the most important job. This job here\u2014I can\u2019t be replaced; only I can do this\u2014and God\u2019s called me to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I really want to commend the single parents, who are working, coming home, taking care of kids\u2014like you\u2019re doing it <em>all<\/em>\u2014and it is not easy. Way to go, because you [have to] be all in; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; that was my mom. I didn\u2019t even appreciate it at the time; but man, she gave everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was Mistake #1. I would challenge any mom and dad: \u201cThere\u2019s nothing more important than that job. Bring whatever you can to raising those kids.\u201d I\u2019ll end with this: they\u2019re going to be gone before you know it. You\u2019re going to blink, and they\u2019re going to be out of the house, and you\u2019re going to wonder, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I seize the day every day?\u201d I know it\u2019s <em>exhausting<\/em>; and I know it\u2019s hard; and I know it\u2019s worth it; so do it! That\u2019s Mistake #1.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMistake #2\u2014I wrote this\u2014\u201cI was nicer to the mailman than to my kids.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think every parent could possibly say this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and it\u2019s just the simple thought of how you can be yelling at your kids, or in a fight with your spouse, and the doorbell rings. You walk up; and you\u2019re like, \u201cHi, how are you doing?\u201d It\u2019s like: \u201cWhat is going on right now? You\u2019re nicer to a stranger at your front door than you are to the people you love and are doing life with.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Think about walking into church. You were always at church, already, preaching; but I can remember going in the door\u2014I mean, I\u2019m just envisioning the kids in the minivan; and we\u2019re driving to church. I\u2019m like, \u201cKids, you need to stop fighting and stop punching!\u201d Then we would walk in the door at church, like [cheerfully], \u201cHey!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014rainbows and butterflies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! I think so many parents can relate to that. Our kids said to me once, \u201cWhy are you always so nice to the people on the phone and then you\u2019re not as nice to us?\u201d It\u2019s <em>so<\/em> convicting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here\u2019s all I know\u2014and I wrote this under this point\u2014is that I was so intense about doing things right, and being on time, and cleaning up the house that I <em>missed<\/em> moments to enjoy in our home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like <em>you<\/em> captured them\u2014<em>you<\/em> were a joy-bringer; <em>you<\/em> brought fun and laughter into the home\u2014and I often <em>missed<\/em> those moments, because I was thinking about the next sermon or\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, money was a big one: \u201cHow are we going to pay for all the stuff that Ann wants to get for our kids?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or I did get for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the story I put in there\u2014I\u2019ll never forget the day I was standing in the kitchen\u2014summer day\u2014and I\u2019m looking out through\/we have two windows onto our driveway and to this basketball court that slants toward the backyard and our woods. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, there\u2019s a little hill there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; a pretty good hill. Anyway, I just happened to be glancing out, and I see CJ\u2019s car. CJ was 16, he had just bought his first car with his lawn mowing money. I see CJ\u2019s car; it starts rolling down the driveway; I can see it, so I start <em>running<\/em> out the back door, across the deck, because all I\u2019m thinking is: \u201cThat car is going to roll into a tree and dent the bumper.\u201d I don\u2019t know why it\u2019s rolling\u2014I have no idea\u2014but all I know is I\u2019m running, and it\u2019s going. It\u2019s picking up speed, because of the slant of the hill. I\u2019m sprinting as fast as I can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLiterally, as it\u2019s going right toward a tree, I <em>dive<\/em> to grab the bumper, thinking that I\u2019m going to stop this car. I can remember hanging on the bumper as it went right into this tree. [Laughter] Now, we\u2019re laughing\u2014I was <em>so mad<\/em>\u2014obviously, somebody got in the car, hit the parking brake, didn\u2019t know that it was in neutral, and it just rolled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just a little kid\u2019s mistake; they didn\u2019t know. But I <em>wanted<\/em> answers, like: \u201cWho did this?\u201d \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d \u201cDo you understand how much this is going to cost?!\u201d All the boys are like frozen; they are afraid, because their dad is <em>losing<\/em> it. The neighbors are probably watching the pastor screaming at the world. And then you come out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I felt bad for CJ; because he paid for the car. But the whole scene was so funny! Dave is just on a rant; and sometimes, when he gets like that, I start giggling inside\u2014but I\u2019m trying to hold it in\u2014but it just can\u2019t be contained; it\u2019s so funny to me! I\u2019m trying to not show him that I\u2019m laughing. I kind of fall to the ground in laughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, you were laughing your head off\u2014you fell to the ground\u2014I mean, you\u2019re belly-laughing; and that makes me even more mad. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know; you were so mad at me! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was like, \u201cWhat are you doing?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so funny\u2014I can see the boys are like torn\u2014they\u2019re like: \u201cWe have one parent that\u2019s irate and angry, and we have another parent laughing her head off. What do we do?\u201d The next thing I know, they went with you. [Laughter] I don\u2019t know what happened\u2014but I\u2019m looking at this car; and it\u2019s in the woods, and it has a dent in the bumper; and I\u2019m looking at you guys, all laughing\u2014and it just hit me, \u201cThis is funny! There\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> I could have done\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> If you could have seen yourself, stretched out, reaching for the bumper, you would have laughed. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> <em>Finally<\/em>, I laughed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, Dave, you might feel like that\u2019s a fail, as a parent; but there was <em>another<\/em> car story. We\u2019ve had several car stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, let me just say this: our oldest son had three car wrecks in our driveway. [Laughter] How\u2019s that for your number-one son learning how to drive? He backed into three cars; that was fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve had a lot of car stories. But you\u2019ve also\u2014you\u2019ve had some wins\u2014and we recently had the opportunity to talk to our youngest son, Cody, about a car story. I feel like this was a win for you, a win for him, and a win for us as a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Phone Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cody:<\/strong> My dad decides he\u2019s in a mid-life crisis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It sort of was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cody: <\/strong>And he decided, for like the first time, he was going to get a nice car\u2014what was it?\u2014like a \u201996 Mustang\u2014was it \u201996?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201996 Mustang convertible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think it cost you like $5,000.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I got it off EBay. It was a bag of bolts; it was not very nice, but it looked cool!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cody:<\/strong> It was a convertible. I was 16; but that spring\u2014my birthday was in March\u2014I broke my right ankle playing baseball, so I was in a hard cast and had crutches. My dad was going to sell the car. I never actually drove it; but he was going to sell it the next day, so he wants it to be in perfect condition. I\u2019m like, \u201cDad, I never drove it; I\u2019m 16.\u201d I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m even legally allowed to be driving with a hard cast on; somehow, he let me ride it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Your mom convinced me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was like, \u201cNo way!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cYou need to let him; this is the one time\/you need to let him drive this car.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, you can take it out for two hours; and just bring it right back home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cody:<\/strong> I did. I don\u2019t know where you guys\u2014you guys had a dinner\u2014so I took it out with the boys, and we were going around town. I dropped my buddies off, and we were going to go hang out at [with] a buddy\u2019s friends for the night. At our house, you can park it in the driveway; but I felt really good, and I was so cautious the whole time I was driving it, so I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m going to pull it all the way into the driveway.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014all the way into the garage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cody:<\/strong> \u2014all the way into the garage, yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of it was I had the cast on my right foot, and the seat didn\u2019t work; you couldn\u2019t go back and forth; so I was already <em>reaching<\/em> anyway. We start pulling in, and I\u2019m hitting the brake; and nothing\u2019s happening. What was going on was I couldn\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> the brake, and I couldn\u2019t push it in far enough from how far back I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m halfway through, and I start panicking. For some reason, in my panic, I moved my foot to the right; hit the gas. The car\u2014you know what\u2019s happening\u2014[Laughter]\u2014the car goes flying into the back of the garage. We have these huge cabinets; it splits the cabinet in half, and then the door of the cabinet falls on top of the hood of the car. I am <em>mortified<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy buddy comes to pick me up to go out; he didn\u2019t really ask a lot of questions. I think he was just like, \u201cYou\u2019re an idiot.\u201d [Laughter] I ended up getting in the car with him, and we leave. At that point, I couldn\u2019t even enjoy being out with my buddies; and I\u2019m like, \u201cI have to get home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my parents are home at this point; I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on. I called my mom, because everyone knows I have to call my mom to do some prep work [with dad]. I ended up coming home. My mom has done the prep work; and I\u2019m trying to, in any way possible, lessen the blow of the consequences of what\u2019s going on. I remember walking into my family room, getting on my knees, putting my arms out; I just start yelling, \u201cI\u2019m <em>sorry<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the midst of that\u2014I think my eyes were closed\u2014and I noticed my dad starts getting off the couch and coming towards me. He gets on his knees at the same time I\u2019m on my knees, and he puts his arms around me. He just whispers in my ear, \u201cIt\u2019s just a car; it\u2019s going to be okay\u201d; and he gives me a hug.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, the interesting thing is Cody doesn\u2019t know the turmoil that I went through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you were there. When he was still off\u2014you actually told him, \u201cDon\u2019t be home when we get home,\u201d\u2014because you knew. [Laughter] Then, when I first saw the car, my first response was, again,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014anger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014it was about the car and the money. It took me an hour to get to a place, where it\u2019s like, \u201cYou know what? It\u2019s just a car. It\u2019s just a couple dollars.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me say this: \u201cThis $5,000 car is not more important than a $10 million son.\u201d I knew that, when he got in the house, I needed to give him what God had given me: total forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I just want to paint a picture\u2014[emotion in voice]\u2014it makes me tear up thinking about this moment\u2014of a 16-year-old boy, who comes in on his knees, like, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, he was so broken.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But to see his dad come, face to face, with him on <em>his<\/em> knees; and you just wrapped him in your arms and hugged him, and said, \u201cIt\u2019s just a car,\u201d\u2014that, for me, was a moment like\u2014\u201cThis is grace. This is Jesus; this how He wraps us in His grace and the truth of the gospel.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s only done through the power of the Holy Spirit, in me and in you, as a parent. In that moment, I <em>never<\/em> would have thought this story would ever be told ever again; seriously! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yet, for Cody, it was a moment of the Father\u2019s love\u2014not just me\u2014but his heavenly Father. So thank God that, in our mistakes as parents, our God <em>meets<\/em> us right there; and He covers. There are some <em>horrible<\/em> mistakes that we make, as parents; and yet, there\u2019s a God that sort of wraps His arms around our sons and daughters and gets them through it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMom and Dad,\u201d\u2014I would say\u2014\u201cforgive yourself\u2014God already has\u2014your kids will eventually. Relax in the grace of God,\u201d and \u201cThe grace that God\u2019s given you, give it to your kids; admit to them your mistakes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was going to say, \u201cYou can apologize to them.\u201d It\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> how our kids will quickly\u2014most of the time\u2014forgive us. It\u2019s <em>beautiful<\/em> to be forgiven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Honestly, all of us can relate to what Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking about today about having regrets, as parents, as we raise our children. Dave and Ann\u2019s new book is called <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. We all laugh and nod our heads when hear that, because we know we\u2019re not perfect; we were not raised by perfect parents\u2014there is no such thing\u2014and yet, in our imperfections, God is still there. He can bring beauty out of the ashes of our parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of Dave and Ann\u2019s new book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The subtitle is: <em>Ditch Expectations, Embrace Reality, and Discover the One Secret that Will Change Your Parenting<\/em>. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to get a copy of Dave and Ann\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you\u2019re interested, we have Dave and Ann\u2019s book, together with the video series, the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> that is designed for small groups to use together. We put those together in a bundle and are offering them at a special price. You can find out more about that when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions\/if you\u2019d like to order the book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>, or find out more about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. Call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about <em>No Perfect Parents <\/em>or about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne more thing before we wrap up here. If you\u2019re involved in ministry to blended families or stepfamilies\u2014if you\u2019re the marriage and family minister at your local church\u2014there\u2019s an event coming up in the Atlanta area, October 14 and 15. It\u2019s the two-day <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em> that FamilyLife is hosting. Ron Deal, who gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is leading this event. Over the two-day period, they\u2019re going to be talking about what churches and ministries can do to help couples, who are forming a blended family, start well: \u201cHow do you help them prepare for what\u2019s ahead before they actually form their blended family?\u2014before they get married?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about the <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em> by going to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, it\u2019s happening in the Atlanta area October 14 and 15, and you can register today. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for all the information.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Ann Wilson about what she would identify as the mistakes she made as she was raising her sons. We\u2019ve all been there; right? We\u2019ll hear from Ann tomorrow; I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/307232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307232"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=307232"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=307232"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=307232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}