{"id":307221,"date":"2021-09-03T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2021-09-03T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/wives-cheer-your-man\/"},"modified":"2021-09-03T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2021-09-03T11:00:06","slug":"wives-cheer-your-man","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wives-cheer-your-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Wives, Cheer Your Man"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Affirmation is one of the core needs of men. Through sharing Ephesians 5, Dave Wilson encourages women to build into their marriages by becoming their husbands&#8217; biggest cheerleader!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:22:45","filesize":"20.83M","filesize_raw":"21839499","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2810,2901,2831],"tags":[5215,4187,4213,2877,4022],"podcast_series":[8471],"cwp_profile":[3295],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307221","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-growing-spiritually","category-husbands","category-wives","tag-ephesians","tag-husbands","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-wives","podcast_series-dave-wilson-on-ephesians-5","cwp_profile-dave-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307221\/wives-cheer-your-man","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307221\/wives-cheer-your-man","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XIdSkAeJBt\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wives-cheer-your-man\/\">Wives, Cheer Your Man<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wives-cheer-your-man\/embed\/#?secret=XIdSkAeJBt\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Wives, Cheer Your Man&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XIdSkAeJBt\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So then I meet Ann; and she says, \u201cOf all the men in the world, I choose you. You\u2019re the man! You\u2019re the man! You\u2019re the man!\u201d\u2014right? Then we get married. Then it\u2019s like you come home, and you walk in the door; and all you hear is: \u201cBoooo!\u201d [Laughter] Honestly, at that time in our marriage, it felt like that when I walked in the door: \u201cI didn\u2019t do that good enough,\u201d \u201cI should do more of this...\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLong story short: she, the next day, got on her knees and said to God, \u201cDo I boo Dave?\u201d Thank God; God said, \u201cYes.\u201d That was 30-some years ago. She\u2014beginning then and, now, for the last 30-some years\u2014is my biggest cheerleader. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have another great day today with my favorite communicator, speaker, preacher. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019d better say that. If you say anything else\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We have Dave Wilson, in the house, giving a message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, I was in another house. It was Discovery Church, down in Orlando, Florida, walking through Ephesians 5. They were in a series\u2014their pastor is a friend of mine, Don Cousins\u2014he asked me to come speak on Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is the second half of your message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; here is the great thing about, not just this message, but the things that I get into in this message are the kinds of things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. The reason I\u2019m telling you that\u2014the marriage getaways with FamilyLife called <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>s are all over the country\u2014there is going to be one, probably, near where you live. If you sign up right now, you get a half-off deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; that\u2019s pretty remarkable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s awesome! <br><br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You can get a half-off deal if you sign up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up; and I mean, sign up right now. We can guarantee you it will change\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014your marriage. Hopefully, this message will as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you know what the top needs of your wife are? Guys, I\u2019m going to give it to you right now; alright? You need to write these down or put these away in your brain; and then, on your drive home today, you need to turn to your wife and say, \u201cHoney, are these your top three?\u201d\u2014because they may be totally different. The thing about women\u2014you know this, guys; right?\u2014they change every hour or five minutes. You never really know\u2014\u201cIt was this, but\u2026\u201d\u2014 I\u2019m just kidding\u2014but here is what Harley said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one for a woman is affection. Now, I remember saying to Ann, \u201cWhat is affection?\u201d She goes, \u201cOh, it\u2019s non-sexual touch.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cThere\u2019s touch that\u2019s non-sexual? What is non-sexual touch?\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cA hug, or holding my hand, or kissing me.\u201d She once said to me, \u201cI love it when we are at church\u201d\u2014she goes\u2014\u201cI love when your hand is just sitting there on my thigh, and it doesn\u2019t move; it just sits right there.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s affection.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing I\u2019ve found about a lot of marriages\u2014they don\u2019t kiss anymore\u2014there is a little peck here, a peck there. The only time they kiss is in the bedroom; that is not what a woman longs for. Am I right, ladies?\u2014don\u2019t say anything; okay?\u2014but it\u2019s like they <em>long<\/em> for affection. That\u2019s number one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two was conversation. They want their man to talk with them. We say in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book, \u201cWomen don\u2019t want to talk; they want to <em>taaalk<\/em> about the relationship,\u201d\u2014there are like three a\u2019s in there; right?\u2014because they love to communicate. It\u2019s like conversation means: \u201cTalk with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen number three is: when we talk, they want honesty and openness. In other words, they want us to open up our heart to them\u2014share with them our fears and our weaknesses\u2014the things we\u2019re struggling with. Man, when we go there\u2014am I right, ladies?\u2014you feel <em>loved<\/em>. It\u2019s an amazing, amazing truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, are you doing okay?\u2014that just hit you pretty hard; okay?\u2014let\u2019s keep going. If you go back to the passage, he goes into verse 26, and he says: \u201c\u2026that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word\u2026\u201d I\u2019ve got to be honest with you. I\u2019ve been teaching on marriage for almost 40 years; I\u2019m not sure I really ever understood this verse. What does it mean to wash her by the water with the word?\u2014\u201cso that he might present the church to Himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHoly and without blemish\u2014here is what Paul is saying to husbands\u2014you are to love her in such a way that she is sanctified. Some of you know this; but the word, \u201csanctify\u201d\u2014<em>hagiazo<\/em> in the Greek\u2014is \u201cset apart.\u201d That your wife feels set apart, by the way you cherish and love her, that she is special\/that she is number one. It\u2019s like everything else in your life\u2014your wife; Jesus, your wife\u2014it\u2019s like set apart, holy, and blameless. It says to wash her; it means to wash her so that she is holy and pure\u2014holy, set apart, pure\u2014that is a man\u2019s role\/a husband\u2019s role in his wife\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>What does it really mean? It means lead her, spiritually, to Christ; it doesn\u2019t mean lead her to Christ. It means, as you are her partner in her life, you are called by God\u2014men, we are called by God\u2014to lead her, spiritually, to Christ\/her Savior. That doesn\u2019t mean we are a dictator, but it means we lead her in such a way\u2014we cherish her and love her in such a way\u2014that we draw her to become the best version of herself. She comes <em>alive<\/em> because of the way her husband loves and cherishes her. That\u2019s a beautiful picture of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the action step\u2014just write this down\u2014\u201cHit your knees,\u201d \u201cHit your knees.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget one Sunday night, at about 11:30, I was crawling into bed; and I was <em>exhausted<\/em>. Here is what happened that weekend, 15 years ago. Saturday night, I preached at my church; just like you have a Sunday service, it was a Saturday night service. I drive down to the team hotel for the Lions, downtown Detroit; it was 30 miles away. I speak to the team at their chapel service. I go home; go to bed; get up the next morning\u2014do three services at church\u2014get in my car, drive down to Ford Field; change into my sideline gear; run onto the field at the end of the first quarter, acting like I\u2019ve been there the whole day\u2014but I\u2019ve been preaching all day\u2014walk on, do the game, do all the stuff after the game: basically, grief counseling; because we got beat again\u2014so I do that thing in the locker room\u2014kidding. Then, I drive home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a <em>long<\/em> weekend; right? I\u2019m crawling into bed, just <em>exhausted<\/em>. It\u2019s been a great weekend, but I\u2019m exhausted. Just as I\u2019m about to close my eyes\u2014I\u2019m smiling, because this isn\u2019t a funny moment\u2014but here is what happens. I\u2019m just about to fall asleep; I\u2019m just so exhausted. Ann says to me\u2014laying right beside me in the bed\u2014she says, \u201cMan, oh, man. I sure wish the guy who led our church lived here.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat did you just say?!\u201d Again, I wish she were here to tell you her version; but here is how I heard it. She said something like, \u201cYou lead so strongly at church: you pray with passion; you worship; you preach with a fervor. And then you come home, and you\u2019re just <em>tired<\/em>. I just wish the way you led our church is the way you led me. Okay; let\u2019s go to sleep.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014I wish I could have just said\u2014\u201cThank you, honey; that was something I needed to know, and I\u2019m going to do better.\u201d I\u2019ve got to be honest\u2014I literally jumped out of the bed\u2014I said, \u201c<em>Do you know how good you\u2019ve got it<\/em>?! <em>I know what other husbands are like; you\u2019ve got the best husband you could ever imagine<\/em>.\u201d I didn\u2019t do that, but I did something like that\u2014sort of like\u2014\u201cYou don\u2019t realize\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the next day, I got in my study; I closed the door; I literally got on my knees\u2014I\u2019m not saying I always pray like this; but when I want to be in full submission, posture-wise\u2014I just said, \u201cGod, were You trying to talk to me last night through Ann?\u201d I heard, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing: she was right. I can get on this stage, and I can lead; I can cast vision: \u201cAnd we\u2019re going here\u2026\u201d I come home; and I was just tired and exhausted, and I was passive. She was <em>longing<\/em> for her man to\u2014what?\u2014lead her. \u201cLead me like you lead them; just do that.\u201d She didn\u2019t understand this, but that washes her; that draws her closer to Christ. That brings her to a holiness. Again, it\u2019s not all on me\u2014she has her own responsibility to walk with God\u2014but she is <em>longing<\/em> for her man to lead her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got to be honest\u2014I said this in our parenting book\u2014I find that it is easier to lead a church than at home; because at church, I know what to do. I walk in my family room, and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to lead you guys. I don\u2019t know what that looks like.\u201d My dad walked out when I was six years old with another woman. I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home. Again, I\u2019m not blaming all that; but there is no model for me to look back to, so I\u2019ve got to figure this out. It was easier to figure out going to seminary and be trained; but who trains husbands how to love their wives?\u2014as we\u2019re talking about today\u2014and sanctify them? \u201cJust hit your knees and ask God for power to do this\u201d; do you hear what I\u2019m saying? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne year after that, a New Year\u2019s resolution, I said to her, \u201cHoney, New Year\u2019s resolution this year\u2014every night after we get the boys down to bed,\u201d\u2014and they were little at the time\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to go in the office. I\u2019m going to go on my knees, and I\u2019m just going to pray for them and their wives someday.\u201d I said, \u201cYou don\u2019t need to join me, but that\u2019s my New Year\u2019s resolution.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing\u2014I did it 15 days, 16 days, 18 days\u2014she was right there beside me; because\u2014men, let me tell you something\u2014when you lead spiritually, your wife is <em>loving<\/em> it! I didn\u2019t tell her, \u201cYou have to be there,\u201d\u2014she\u2019s <em>right<\/em> there\u2014we\u2019re both on our knees, praying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014one night, like 18 days in a row\u2014again, it\u2019s like five minutes; it doesn\u2019t take your whole\u2014we\u2019re just going to do this. I\u2019ll never forget; she grabs my left arm. She\u2019s right beside me, and we were on our knees. She grabs my left arm; and she is all excited. She goes, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve just got to tell you something right now.\u201d I go, \u201cYes, what\u2019s that?\u201d She goes, \u201cThis\/doing this every night with you, this is like a turn on.\u201d [Laughter] I look at her, and I go, \u201cWhat?!\u201d She goes, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to describe this; this is like romantic. This is like\u2014this is really like a turn on for me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just\/I can see in her eye\u2014I knew what she meant by turn on\u2014so I looked at her\u2014and I didn\u2019t say this, but here is what I thought\u2014I thought, \u201cIf this is how this works, I\u2019m going to become the Apostle Paul!\u201d; you know? [Laughter] Guys, I\u2019m not saying that is how it is going to work; but am I right, ladies? There is something romantic that happens in a woman\u2019s heart when\u2014yes, women are clapping right now\u2014when her man leads her spiritually. You can\u2019t fake this; this is an overflow. You can\u2019t fake parenting; it\u2019s an overflow. I\u2019m just telling you: \u201cHit your knees.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, last couple of thoughts. I\u2019m going to jump down to verse 33, because verse 33 talks to the wives <em>and<\/em> the husbands. I\u2019ve talked this whole time to the men; let me talk to the women a little bit, because he says, \u201cHusbands, love your wives.\u201d Then he says\u2014what?\u2014\u201cWives, respect your husband.\u201d Husbands love; wives respect. I think there\u2019s a difference, because the core need of a man is affirmation\/respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t even think we always understand that; but as men, we <em>long<\/em> to be affirmed and respected. In fact, a man goes where he is respected. Now, I just call it: \u201cCheer your man,\u201d \u201cCheer your man.\u201d The action step I put there was: \u201cCheer.\u201d Respect is: \u201cAffirm with words and actions. The action is cheer.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll share this. Years ago, at Kensington, my wife was asked to come speak to the mothers of preschoolers\u2014so all these moms. She said to me, \u201cHey, do you want to go with me and just add in?\u201d I go, \u201cSure.\u201d We didn\u2019t talk about what I was going to say. I didn\u2019t know what I was going to say. I get up on stage, and she is talking. Then we talk about: \u201cWhat\u2019s respect look like?\u201d I said this\/I go: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, ladies, I don\u2019t know if you understand this or not; but when a boy is a little boy, he always\/usually, he has somebody in his life cheering for him. It\u2019s like his mom or his dad; it\u2019s like: \u201cYou\u2019re good,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a good young man.\u201d They are cheering something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as they get older, they find out what they are sort of good at; and they have a teacher or a coach that is sort of saying, \u201cYou\u2019re good at this.\u201d Then, as I got into college, I went to college on a college football scholarship as a quarterback; so I had 100,000 people, on Saturday afternoon, cheering for me as the quarterback\u2014actually, I played at Ball State\u2014so it was like 25,000. Anyway, they are cheering for you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I meet Ann; and she says, \u201cOf all the men in the world, I choose you.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d We get married\u2014again, I\u2019m saying all of this, and I\u2019m feeling like, \u201cOh, this is coming out in a way that I\u2019ve never said it,\u201d\u2014Ann is sitting over there, on this little stool. Then I said, \u201cSo then we get married. Then it\u2019s like you come home, and you walk in the door; and all you hear is: \u201cBOOO!\u201d \u201cBOOO!\u201d [Laughter] When I say that, I turn like this; and Ann is over there like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re driving home; and she\u2019s like, \u201cWhat was <em>that<\/em>?! You think I <em>boo<\/em> you?!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, obviously, not literally; but yes.\u201d She goes, \u201cI\u2019m not <em>booing<\/em> you. I\u2019m <em>helping<\/em> you; you know, I\u2019m helping you be better.\u201d In fact\u2014she denies this to this day\u2014but she said, \u201cI\u2019m the Holy Spirit in your life.\u201d [Laughter] She says, \u201cI never said that.\u201d I go, \u201cI think you did,\u201d\u2014but anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like [she thinks], \u201cEverybody else doesn\u2019t see all the flaws you have. I see them, and I\u2019m trying to\u2026\u201d I said, \u201cI know that is what you are trying to do, but it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> feel like that\u201d\u2014because honestly, at that time in our marriage\u2014it felt like, when I walked in the door, I got critiqued: \u201cI didn\u2019t do this good enough,\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t do that good enough,\u201d \u201cI should do more of this\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOften, I just shut down. You know what I do?\u2014I go lead out there, because they think I\u2019m good. I wouldn\u2019t lead here [at home], because all I do is get critiqued. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLong story short is\u2014she, the next day, got on <em>her<\/em> knees and said to God, \u201cDo I boo Dave?\u201d\u2014thank God; God said, \u201cYes.\u201d [Laughter] She heard that. Again, it\u2019s a long story, but here is all I have to tell you: that was 30-some years ago. She, beginning then and now for the last 30-some years, is my biggest cheerleader. I am not kidding; I can\u2019t <em>wait<\/em> to get home tomorrow; because when I walk in that door, she cheers me. I\u2019m not saying she doesn\u2019t speak truth\u2014there are hard truths that we have to speak to one another to sharpen one another to become like Christ\u2014but generally, 80 percent is: \u201cYou\u2019re the man,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re good!\u201d \u201cThank you!\u201d I tell you: that lights a man up! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWomen, when you stop booing, and start cheering, here is what will happen: the man <em>becomes<\/em> the man you\u2019re cheering that he isn\u2019t yet. Does that make any sense? She started cheering me up\u2014like I\u2019m up here\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m not that good.\u201d Then I wanted to become what she said I was; and I started to become a better man, and a better husband, and a better father, and a better spiritual leader. I\u2019m just telling you women: \u201cYou have power in your hands that can transform your man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But here is the last thing I want to say: \u201c<em>None<\/em> of this is possible\u2014anything we said\u2014loving your wife, cherishing your wife, respecting your or cheering your man\u2014none of this is possible without the power of God.\u201d The last thing there is: \u201cWe cannot do marriage God\u2019s way without His supernatural power today,\u201d\u2014I rhymed it; that\u2019s what preachers do\u2014but we can\u2019t do marriage God way if we don\u2019t have His supernatural power today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis whole passage comes out of Ephesians 5:18, where he says, \u201cKeep being filled with the Holy Spirit.\u201d You can\u2019t do this; I can\u2019t do this\u2014we have to put Him number one\u2014God. When we submit to Him\u2014and by the way, you can\u2019t do that for your spouse\u2014this is only you. If they do it as well, it\u2019s awesome. If they don\u2019t, it\u2019s you\u2014you take care of you\u2014you get your power from the Holy Spirit. God will literally meet you and bring help and hope back to your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to end with this\u2014a video of Ann\u2014I mean, I wish she could be here with me. You didn\u2019t get to appreciate what she\u2019s like\u2014you\u2019ll see in this video\u2014\u201cOh my goodness! This woman is a dynamo; she is amazing.\u201d She always loves visuals when we teach; so a few years back at our church, we were doing a marriage message on a weekend. She said, \u201cI want to bring our tandem bike on stage and do something with it.\u201d She didn\u2019t even tell me what. You\u2019ll tell\u2014in this video, you\u2019ll see I didn\u2019t know where this was going\u2014but it\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> visual of how to put God first, because you don\u2019t have any hope with just some nice marriage tips. You need God first for this to work; so watch this, and then we\u2019ll close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Video Clip] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wanted to do this last illustration. You guys can probably tell: I\u2019m a visual learner. That\u2019s why I did that thing with the brick; last week, we had the marble. This week, we have another visual because, for me, I feel like, in our lives, we\u2019re all on this journey of life. We think we know what will bring us happiness. No matter how old we are, we think, \u201cIf I do these certain things\u2026\u201d\u2014\u201cIf I go to the right school\u2026\u201d and \u201cI have the same right friends\u2026\u201d and \u201cI marry the right person\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oops! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So this is my visual this week. This tandem is going to be like our journey of life; right? So here we go. For me\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to fix the handlebars; this has literally been hanging up in our garage for 15 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I bought this with my\u2014I saved pennies and bought it when I was 12 years old\u2014so we\u2019re on this journey of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I still don\u2019t know why we have this bike at all at our house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s awesome; look at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She wants to go get it all fixed up; I\u2019m like, \u201cNo; please don\u2019t.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; so I\u2019m in life; right? I think, \u201cI know what is going to bring me happiness.\u201d As long as I\u2019m in control, I\u2019m in the front seat: I know where to go; I know what to do; and I know the things that will make me happy, bring me joy, bring me fulfillment. I\u2019m on this journey, like: \u201cOkay, this is good! I\u2019m going to date this guy,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this college.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going there; and I\u2019m realizing, after a while\u2014have you ever done this?\u2014you are after all your dreams; but when you get some of your dreams, it\u2019s exactly what we talked about\/I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat didn\u2019t do it. Oh, it just didn\u2019t bring the joy and the fulfillment that I thought it would.\u201d So I\u2019m getting a little frustrated on my journey; but I think, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll try another route. I\u2019ll try to go to another path that will bring me joy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout that time, my sister came home from\u2014she was living out of state; she was seven years older\u2014and she came home; and she said, \u201cAnn, I\u2019m telling you. I have found the most <em>amazing<\/em> secret to life,\u201d basically. She said, \u201cI have this relationship with Jesus Christ. I\u2019ve understood now why He came, why He died, that He wants a relationship with us. It\u2019s not that we get to heaven on doing the right things; it\u2019s being with Him in relationship of surrendering your life to Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs she started talking about that, I knew God in terms of\u2014you know what it was?\u2014He was <em>Elohim<\/em> to me; I believed. If you had asked me if I am a Christian: \u201cYes, I am a Christian; I believe in Jesus,\u201d\u2014but I didn\u2019t <em>know Him<\/em>\u2014I didn\u2019t have a relationship. So when she said that, I said, \u201cYes, I want to surrender my life to Jesus. So, Jesus, come on! I want You.\u201d [Speaking to Dave] You\u2019re Jesus!\u2014\u201cCome on, Jesus.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cGet on the back\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cGet on,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cGet on the back!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She picked the right guy to play Jesus. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; so I\u2019m on this journey; right? \u201cOkay; You ready?\u2014we\u2019re going. You\u2019re going to get me to heaven; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cUh, yes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cOkay!\u201d We\u2019re going; I think, \u201cThis is awesome; Jesus is with me, doing things.\u201d But then, I start going the same places that I always went. You know, I am still trying to be in control\u2014I\u2019m the one\u2014and Jesus is like, \u201cI\u2019ve got this; I know where to go.\u201d I go to the same paths, and I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> frustrated. Now, it\u2019s <em>worse<\/em>; because Jesus is on the back, and He sees where I\u2019m going. Now, I feel <em>guilty<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019m going, I think, \u201cOh, this is terrible!\u201d I feel this nudging of Jesus. I feel like He\u2019s wanting to be here, in control, taking me on this journey. The more I discover who He is in the Word; the more I\u2019m realizing He <em>loves<\/em> me. He has designed me with a purpose and a plan, and what would it look like if I allowed Him to be in total and complete control and to lead me on this journey? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so scared; I was so scared, because I thought, \u201cWhere is He\/what path is He going to take? He might take me to Detroit! He might make me marry a pastor! Who knows what He would do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He would never do that, honey. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I state this prayer\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cAlright, Lord, I give You everything. I\u2019m going to put You in total and complete control. I\u2019m going to trust You.\u201d It was so scary; but I thought, \u201cAlright.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it felt good, like, \u201cOkay; here we go!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m free. I can let Him go wherever He wants. We\u2019re going.\u201d But then, after a while\u2014it\u2019s all good for a while; right?\u2014but then, it\u2019s like, \u201cWait! Why are we going down <em>this<\/em> road?! I <em>do not like<\/em> that road; I don\u2019t want to go down there. It\u2019s scary; it\u2019s risky;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cTrust Me; trust Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s awkward.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, I\u2019m starting to look over\u2014I\u2019m being the backseat driver\u2014\u201cNo; no, I <em>never<\/em> said that I would go there. Nope; nope. [Ann tries to take over the front seat] I\u2019m going to help You. Let me help You, Jesus.\u201d I\u2019m trying to\u2014like, \u201cLord, no! No! Don\u2019t do that. No! Here, I\u2019m going to help You.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever done this? [Laughter] I am good at helping Jesus\u2014like, \u201cJesus, no!\u201d\u2014I get so scared, and I want to control it. He saying, \u201cAnn, trust Me. Just go where\/let Me take you where I know you\u2019ll find joy and fulfillment.\u201d This is good; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t know you were going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what happens\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014crawl on my head. [Laughter] <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014I think what happens is, when we are back here, it feels scary; and sometimes, we don\u2019t want to do it. I think, sometimes, God is saying, \u201cJust cling to Me.\u201d There are some times it is <em>so hard<\/em> that I can\u2019t even pedal. It\u2019s almost like I just want to cling to Him, close my eyes, and trust Him for everything; because this is the scariest position of all. Yet, it\u2019s the <em>safest<\/em>, most wonderful place we could ever be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what we\u2019ve been listening to\u2014Dave and Ann Wilson talking about surrender\u2014letting God take control of your life and not trying to pull back the handlebars. In fact, really, you should go to our website and watch the video clip of Ann demonstrating being on the back of a bicycle built for two and trying to climb over the top so you can steer and control the handlebars. The video clip is available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can go there to see it. If you\u2019d like to download the complete message from Dave Wilson today, from Ephesians, Chapter 5, about marriage, that is available online as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just encourage you: \u201cAll of us go through seasons in marriage, where we have to recalibrate, where we have to pull back and say, \u2018Okay, we\u2019ve got some habits we\u2019ve developed over the years\u2014some patterns that are not healthy\u2014some things that we are doing that are not helping us achieve oneness in our marriage.\u201d That\u2019s what the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve met with couples, who have been to <em>multiple<\/em> getaways. Some couples make it an annual checkup for their marriage to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and they get something new out of it every year. We have about 30 of these events being hosted in cities all across the country this fall. And right now, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners can register for an upcoming getaway and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. We\u2019re making this available through next Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to take advantage of this special offer, today is the day for you to go online to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can register by phone; you can get more information on the website: find out when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live, and then register online if you like. Again, you\u2019ll save 50 percent of the regular registration fee as long as you sign up <em>today<\/em>. The getaway is going to be a <em>great<\/em> weekend for both of you. Let me encourage you again: \u201cGo to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; and join us for an upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today. Thanks for joining us. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church congregation this weekend, and I hope you can join us on Monday. We\u2019re going to hear, again, from Dave and Ann Wilson about how important it is for us to understand how big God is and the impact that can have on your marriage and your family. That comes up Monday. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I am Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:22:45"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["20.83M"],"filesize_raw":["21839499"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307221.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307221.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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is one of the core needs of men. Through sharing Ephesians 5, Dave Wilson encourages women to build into their marriages by becoming their husbands' biggest cheerleader!","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-09-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So then I meet Ann; and she says, \u201cOf all the men in the world, I choose you. You\u2019re the man! You\u2019re the man! You\u2019re the man!\u201d\u2014right? Then we get married. Then it\u2019s like you come home, and you walk in the door; and all you hear is: \u201cBoooo!\u201d [Laughter] Honestly, at that time in our marriage, it felt like that when I walked in the door: \u201cI didn\u2019t do that good enough,\u201d \u201cI should do more of this...\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLong story short: she, the next day, got on her knees and said to God, \u201cDo I boo Dave?\u201d Thank God; God said, \u201cYes.\u201d That was 30-some years ago. She\u2014beginning then and, now, for the last 30-some years\u2014is my biggest cheerleader. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have another great day today with my favorite communicator, speaker, preacher. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019d better say that. If you say anything else\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We have Dave Wilson, in the house, giving a message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, I was in another house. It was Discovery Church, down in Orlando, Florida, walking through Ephesians 5. They were in a series\u2014their pastor is a friend of mine, Don Cousins\u2014he asked me to come speak on Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is the second half of your message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; here is the great thing about, not just this message, but the things that I get into in this message are the kinds of things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. The reason I\u2019m telling you that\u2014the marriage getaways with FamilyLife called <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>s are all over the country\u2014there is going to be one, probably, near where you live. If you sign up right now, you get a half-off deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; that\u2019s pretty remarkable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s awesome! <br><br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You can get a half-off deal if you sign up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up; and I mean, sign up right now. We can guarantee you it will change\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014your marriage. Hopefully, this message will as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you know what the top needs of your wife are? Guys, I\u2019m going to give it to you right now; alright? You need to write these down or put these away in your brain; and then, on your drive home today, you need to turn to your wife and say, \u201cHoney, are these your top three?\u201d\u2014because they may be totally different. The thing about women\u2014you know this, guys; right?\u2014they change every hour or five minutes. You never really know\u2014\u201cIt was this, but\u2026\u201d\u2014 I\u2019m just kidding\u2014but here is what Harley said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one for a woman is affection. Now, I remember saying to Ann, \u201cWhat is affection?\u201d She goes, \u201cOh, it\u2019s non-sexual touch.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cThere\u2019s touch that\u2019s non-sexual? What is non-sexual touch?\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cA hug, or holding my hand, or kissing me.\u201d She once said to me, \u201cI love it when we are at church\u201d\u2014she goes\u2014\u201cI love when your hand is just sitting there on my thigh, and it doesn\u2019t move; it just sits right there.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s affection.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing I\u2019ve found about a lot of marriages\u2014they don\u2019t kiss anymore\u2014there is a little peck here, a peck there. The only time they kiss is in the bedroom; that is not what a woman longs for. Am I right, ladies?\u2014don\u2019t say anything; okay?\u2014but it\u2019s like they <em>long<\/em> for affection. That\u2019s number one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two was conversation. They want their man to talk with them. We say in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book, \u201cWomen don\u2019t want to talk; they want to <em>taaalk<\/em> about the relationship,\u201d\u2014there are like three a\u2019s in there; right?\u2014because they love to communicate. It\u2019s like conversation means: \u201cTalk with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen number three is: when we talk, they want honesty and openness. In other words, they want us to open up our heart to them\u2014share with them our fears and our weaknesses\u2014the things we\u2019re struggling with. Man, when we go there\u2014am I right, ladies?\u2014you feel <em>loved<\/em>. It\u2019s an amazing, amazing truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, are you doing okay?\u2014that just hit you pretty hard; okay?\u2014let\u2019s keep going. If you go back to the passage, he goes into verse 26, and he says: \u201c\u2026that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word\u2026\u201d I\u2019ve got to be honest with you. I\u2019ve been teaching on marriage for almost 40 years; I\u2019m not sure I really ever understood this verse. What does it mean to wash her by the water with the word?\u2014\u201cso that he might present the church to Himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHoly and without blemish\u2014here is what Paul is saying to husbands\u2014you are to love her in such a way that she is sanctified. Some of you know this; but the word, \u201csanctify\u201d\u2014<em>hagiazo<\/em> in the Greek\u2014is \u201cset apart.\u201d That your wife feels set apart, by the way you cherish and love her, that she is special\/that she is number one. It\u2019s like everything else in your life\u2014your wife; Jesus, your wife\u2014it\u2019s like set apart, holy, and blameless. It says to wash her; it means to wash her so that she is holy and pure\u2014holy, set apart, pure\u2014that is a man\u2019s role\/a husband\u2019s role in his wife\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>What does it really mean? It means lead her, spiritually, to Christ; it doesn\u2019t mean lead her to Christ. It means, as you are her partner in her life, you are called by God\u2014men, we are called by God\u2014to lead her, spiritually, to Christ\/her Savior. That doesn\u2019t mean we are a dictator, but it means we lead her in such a way\u2014we cherish her and love her in such a way\u2014that we draw her to become the best version of herself. She comes <em>alive<\/em> because of the way her husband loves and cherishes her. That\u2019s a beautiful picture of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the action step\u2014just write this down\u2014\u201cHit your knees,\u201d \u201cHit your knees.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget one Sunday night, at about 11:30, I was crawling into bed; and I was <em>exhausted<\/em>. Here is what happened that weekend, 15 years ago. Saturday night, I preached at my church; just like you have a Sunday service, it was a Saturday night service. I drive down to the team hotel for the Lions, downtown Detroit; it was 30 miles away. I speak to the team at their chapel service. I go home; go to bed; get up the next morning\u2014do three services at church\u2014get in my car, drive down to Ford Field; change into my sideline gear; run onto the field at the end of the first quarter, acting like I\u2019ve been there the whole day\u2014but I\u2019ve been preaching all day\u2014walk on, do the game, do all the stuff after the game: basically, grief counseling; because we got beat again\u2014so I do that thing in the locker room\u2014kidding. Then, I drive home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a <em>long<\/em> weekend; right? I\u2019m crawling into bed, just <em>exhausted<\/em>. It\u2019s been a great weekend, but I\u2019m exhausted. Just as I\u2019m about to close my eyes\u2014I\u2019m smiling, because this isn\u2019t a funny moment\u2014but here is what happens. I\u2019m just about to fall asleep; I\u2019m just so exhausted. Ann says to me\u2014laying right beside me in the bed\u2014she says, \u201cMan, oh, man. I sure wish the guy who led our church lived here.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat did you just say?!\u201d Again, I wish she were here to tell you her version; but here is how I heard it. She said something like, \u201cYou lead so strongly at church: you pray with passion; you worship; you preach with a fervor. And then you come home, and you\u2019re just <em>tired<\/em>. I just wish the way you led our church is the way you led me. Okay; let\u2019s go to sleep.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014I wish I could have just said\u2014\u201cThank you, honey; that was something I needed to know, and I\u2019m going to do better.\u201d I\u2019ve got to be honest\u2014I literally jumped out of the bed\u2014I said, \u201c<em>Do you know how good you\u2019ve got it<\/em>?! <em>I know what other husbands are like; you\u2019ve got the best husband you could ever imagine<\/em>.\u201d I didn\u2019t do that, but I did something like that\u2014sort of like\u2014\u201cYou don\u2019t realize\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the next day, I got in my study; I closed the door; I literally got on my knees\u2014I\u2019m not saying I always pray like this; but when I want to be in full submission, posture-wise\u2014I just said, \u201cGod, were You trying to talk to me last night through Ann?\u201d I heard, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing: she was right. I can get on this stage, and I can lead; I can cast vision: \u201cAnd we\u2019re going here\u2026\u201d I come home; and I was just tired and exhausted, and I was passive. She was <em>longing<\/em> for her man to\u2014what?\u2014lead her. \u201cLead me like you lead them; just do that.\u201d She didn\u2019t understand this, but that washes her; that draws her closer to Christ. That brings her to a holiness. Again, it\u2019s not all on me\u2014she has her own responsibility to walk with God\u2014but she is <em>longing<\/em> for her man to lead her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got to be honest\u2014I said this in our parenting book\u2014I find that it is easier to lead a church than at home; because at church, I know what to do. I walk in my family room, and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to lead you guys. I don\u2019t know what that looks like.\u201d My dad walked out when I was six years old with another woman. I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home. Again, I\u2019m not blaming all that; but there is no model for me to look back to, so I\u2019ve got to figure this out. It was easier to figure out going to seminary and be trained; but who trains husbands how to love their wives?\u2014as we\u2019re talking about today\u2014and sanctify them? \u201cJust hit your knees and ask God for power to do this\u201d; do you hear what I\u2019m saying? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne year after that, a New Year\u2019s resolution, I said to her, \u201cHoney, New Year\u2019s resolution this year\u2014every night after we get the boys down to bed,\u201d\u2014and they were little at the time\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to go in the office. I\u2019m going to go on my knees, and I\u2019m just going to pray for them and their wives someday.\u201d I said, \u201cYou don\u2019t need to join me, but that\u2019s my New Year\u2019s resolution.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing\u2014I did it 15 days, 16 days, 18 days\u2014she was right there beside me; because\u2014men, let me tell you something\u2014when you lead spiritually, your wife is <em>loving<\/em> it! I didn\u2019t tell her, \u201cYou have to be there,\u201d\u2014she\u2019s <em>right<\/em> there\u2014we\u2019re both on our knees, praying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014one night, like 18 days in a row\u2014again, it\u2019s like five minutes; it doesn\u2019t take your whole\u2014we\u2019re just going to do this. I\u2019ll never forget; she grabs my left arm. She\u2019s right beside me, and we were on our knees. She grabs my left arm; and she is all excited. She goes, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve just got to tell you something right now.\u201d I go, \u201cYes, what\u2019s that?\u201d She goes, \u201cThis\/doing this every night with you, this is like a turn on.\u201d [Laughter] I look at her, and I go, \u201cWhat?!\u201d She goes, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to describe this; this is like romantic. This is like\u2014this is really like a turn on for me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just\/I can see in her eye\u2014I knew what she meant by turn on\u2014so I looked at her\u2014and I didn\u2019t say this, but here is what I thought\u2014I thought, \u201cIf this is how this works, I\u2019m going to become the Apostle Paul!\u201d; you know? [Laughter] Guys, I\u2019m not saying that is how it is going to work; but am I right, ladies? There is something romantic that happens in a woman\u2019s heart when\u2014yes, women are clapping right now\u2014when her man leads her spiritually. You can\u2019t fake this; this is an overflow. You can\u2019t fake parenting; it\u2019s an overflow. I\u2019m just telling you: \u201cHit your knees.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, last couple of thoughts. I\u2019m going to jump down to verse 33, because verse 33 talks to the wives <em>and<\/em> the husbands. I\u2019ve talked this whole time to the men; let me talk to the women a little bit, because he says, \u201cHusbands, love your wives.\u201d Then he says\u2014what?\u2014\u201cWives, respect your husband.\u201d Husbands love; wives respect. I think there\u2019s a difference, because the core need of a man is affirmation\/respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t even think we always understand that; but as men, we <em>long<\/em> to be affirmed and respected. In fact, a man goes where he is respected. Now, I just call it: \u201cCheer your man,\u201d \u201cCheer your man.\u201d The action step I put there was: \u201cCheer.\u201d Respect is: \u201cAffirm with words and actions. The action is cheer.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll share this. Years ago, at Kensington, my wife was asked to come speak to the mothers of preschoolers\u2014so all these moms. She said to me, \u201cHey, do you want to go with me and just add in?\u201d I go, \u201cSure.\u201d We didn\u2019t talk about what I was going to say. I didn\u2019t know what I was going to say. I get up on stage, and she is talking. Then we talk about: \u201cWhat\u2019s respect look like?\u201d I said this\/I go: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, ladies, I don\u2019t know if you understand this or not; but when a boy is a little boy, he always\/usually, he has somebody in his life cheering for him. It\u2019s like his mom or his dad; it\u2019s like: \u201cYou\u2019re good,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a good young man.\u201d They are cheering something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as they get older, they find out what they are sort of good at; and they have a teacher or a coach that is sort of saying, \u201cYou\u2019re good at this.\u201d Then, as I got into college, I went to college on a college football scholarship as a quarterback; so I had 100,000 people, on Saturday afternoon, cheering for me as the quarterback\u2014actually, I played at Ball State\u2014so it was like 25,000. Anyway, they are cheering for you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I meet Ann; and she says, \u201cOf all the men in the world, I choose you.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d We get married\u2014again, I\u2019m saying all of this, and I\u2019m feeling like, \u201cOh, this is coming out in a way that I\u2019ve never said it,\u201d\u2014Ann is sitting over there, on this little stool. Then I said, \u201cSo then we get married. Then it\u2019s like you come home, and you walk in the door; and all you hear is: \u201cBOOO!\u201d \u201cBOOO!\u201d [Laughter] When I say that, I turn like this; and Ann is over there like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re driving home; and she\u2019s like, \u201cWhat was <em>that<\/em>?! You think I <em>boo<\/em> you?!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, obviously, not literally; but yes.\u201d She goes, \u201cI\u2019m not <em>booing<\/em> you. I\u2019m <em>helping<\/em> you; you know, I\u2019m helping you be better.\u201d In fact\u2014she denies this to this day\u2014but she said, \u201cI\u2019m the Holy Spirit in your life.\u201d [Laughter] She says, \u201cI never said that.\u201d I go, \u201cI think you did,\u201d\u2014but anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like [she thinks], \u201cEverybody else doesn\u2019t see all the flaws you have. I see them, and I\u2019m trying to\u2026\u201d I said, \u201cI know that is what you are trying to do, but it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> feel like that\u201d\u2014because honestly, at that time in our marriage\u2014it felt like, when I walked in the door, I got critiqued: \u201cI didn\u2019t do this good enough,\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t do that good enough,\u201d \u201cI should do more of this\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOften, I just shut down. You know what I do?\u2014I go lead out there, because they think I\u2019m good. I wouldn\u2019t lead here [at home], because all I do is get critiqued. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLong story short is\u2014she, the next day, got on <em>her<\/em> knees and said to God, \u201cDo I boo Dave?\u201d\u2014thank God; God said, \u201cYes.\u201d [Laughter] She heard that. Again, it\u2019s a long story, but here is all I have to tell you: that was 30-some years ago. She, beginning then and now for the last 30-some years, is my biggest cheerleader. I am not kidding; I can\u2019t <em>wait<\/em> to get home tomorrow; because when I walk in that door, she cheers me. I\u2019m not saying she doesn\u2019t speak truth\u2014there are hard truths that we have to speak to one another to sharpen one another to become like Christ\u2014but generally, 80 percent is: \u201cYou\u2019re the man,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re good!\u201d \u201cThank you!\u201d I tell you: that lights a man up! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWomen, when you stop booing, and start cheering, here is what will happen: the man <em>becomes<\/em> the man you\u2019re cheering that he isn\u2019t yet. Does that make any sense? She started cheering me up\u2014like I\u2019m up here\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m not that good.\u201d Then I wanted to become what she said I was; and I started to become a better man, and a better husband, and a better father, and a better spiritual leader. I\u2019m just telling you women: \u201cYou have power in your hands that can transform your man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But here is the last thing I want to say: \u201c<em>None<\/em> of this is possible\u2014anything we said\u2014loving your wife, cherishing your wife, respecting your or cheering your man\u2014none of this is possible without the power of God.\u201d The last thing there is: \u201cWe cannot do marriage God\u2019s way without His supernatural power today,\u201d\u2014I rhymed it; that\u2019s what preachers do\u2014but we can\u2019t do marriage God way if we don\u2019t have His supernatural power today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis whole passage comes out of Ephesians 5:18, where he says, \u201cKeep being filled with the Holy Spirit.\u201d You can\u2019t do this; I can\u2019t do this\u2014we have to put Him number one\u2014God. When we submit to Him\u2014and by the way, you can\u2019t do that for your spouse\u2014this is only you. If they do it as well, it\u2019s awesome. If they don\u2019t, it\u2019s you\u2014you take care of you\u2014you get your power from the Holy Spirit. God will literally meet you and bring help and hope back to your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to end with this\u2014a video of Ann\u2014I mean, I wish she could be here with me. You didn\u2019t get to appreciate what she\u2019s like\u2014you\u2019ll see in this video\u2014\u201cOh my goodness! This woman is a dynamo; she is amazing.\u201d She always loves visuals when we teach; so a few years back at our church, we were doing a marriage message on a weekend. She said, \u201cI want to bring our tandem bike on stage and do something with it.\u201d She didn\u2019t even tell me what. You\u2019ll tell\u2014in this video, you\u2019ll see I didn\u2019t know where this was going\u2014but it\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> visual of how to put God first, because you don\u2019t have any hope with just some nice marriage tips. You need God first for this to work; so watch this, and then we\u2019ll close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Video Clip] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I wanted to do this last illustration. You guys can probably tell: I\u2019m a visual learner. That\u2019s why I did that thing with the brick; last week, we had the marble. This week, we have another visual because, for me, I feel like, in our lives, we\u2019re all on this journey of life. We think we know what will bring us happiness. No matter how old we are, we think, \u201cIf I do these certain things\u2026\u201d\u2014\u201cIf I go to the right school\u2026\u201d and \u201cI have the same right friends\u2026\u201d and \u201cI marry the right person\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oops! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So this is my visual this week. This tandem is going to be like our journey of life; right? So here we go. For me\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to fix the handlebars; this has literally been hanging up in our garage for 15 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I bought this with my\u2014I saved pennies and bought it when I was 12 years old\u2014so we\u2019re on this journey of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I still don\u2019t know why we have this bike at all at our house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s awesome; look at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She wants to go get it all fixed up; I\u2019m like, \u201cNo; please don\u2019t.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; so I\u2019m in life; right? I think, \u201cI know what is going to bring me happiness.\u201d As long as I\u2019m in control, I\u2019m in the front seat: I know where to go; I know what to do; and I know the things that will make me happy, bring me joy, bring me fulfillment. I\u2019m on this journey, like: \u201cOkay, this is good! I\u2019m going to date this guy,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this college.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going there; and I\u2019m realizing, after a while\u2014have you ever done this?\u2014you are after all your dreams; but when you get some of your dreams, it\u2019s exactly what we talked about\/I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat didn\u2019t do it. Oh, it just didn\u2019t bring the joy and the fulfillment that I thought it would.\u201d So I\u2019m getting a little frustrated on my journey; but I think, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll try another route. I\u2019ll try to go to another path that will bring me joy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout that time, my sister came home from\u2014she was living out of state; she was seven years older\u2014and she came home; and she said, \u201cAnn, I\u2019m telling you. I have found the most <em>amazing<\/em> secret to life,\u201d basically. She said, \u201cI have this relationship with Jesus Christ. I\u2019ve understood now why He came, why He died, that He wants a relationship with us. It\u2019s not that we get to heaven on doing the right things; it\u2019s being with Him in relationship of surrendering your life to Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs she started talking about that, I knew God in terms of\u2014you know what it was?\u2014He was <em>Elohim<\/em> to me; I believed. If you had asked me if I am a Christian: \u201cYes, I am a Christian; I believe in Jesus,\u201d\u2014but I didn\u2019t <em>know Him<\/em>\u2014I didn\u2019t have a relationship. So when she said that, I said, \u201cYes, I want to surrender my life to Jesus. So, Jesus, come on! I want You.\u201d [Speaking to Dave] You\u2019re Jesus!\u2014\u201cCome on, Jesus.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cGet on the back\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cGet on,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cGet on the back!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She picked the right guy to play Jesus. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; so I\u2019m on this journey; right? \u201cOkay; You ready?\u2014we\u2019re going. You\u2019re going to get me to heaven; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cUh, yes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cOkay!\u201d We\u2019re going; I think, \u201cThis is awesome; Jesus is with me, doing things.\u201d But then, I start going the same places that I always went. You know, I am still trying to be in control\u2014I\u2019m the one\u2014and Jesus is like, \u201cI\u2019ve got this; I know where to go.\u201d I go to the same paths, and I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> frustrated. Now, it\u2019s <em>worse<\/em>; because Jesus is on the back, and He sees where I\u2019m going. Now, I feel <em>guilty<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019m going, I think, \u201cOh, this is terrible!\u201d I feel this nudging of Jesus. I feel like He\u2019s wanting to be here, in control, taking me on this journey. The more I discover who He is in the Word; the more I\u2019m realizing He <em>loves<\/em> me. He has designed me with a purpose and a plan, and what would it look like if I allowed Him to be in total and complete control and to lead me on this journey? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so scared; I was so scared, because I thought, \u201cWhere is He\/what path is He going to take? He might take me to Detroit! He might make me marry a pastor! Who knows what He would do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He would never do that, honey. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I state this prayer\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cAlright, Lord, I give You everything. I\u2019m going to put You in total and complete control. I\u2019m going to trust You.\u201d It was so scary; but I thought, \u201cAlright.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it felt good, like, \u201cOkay; here we go!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m free. I can let Him go wherever He wants. We\u2019re going.\u201d But then, after a while\u2014it\u2019s all good for a while; right?\u2014but then, it\u2019s like, \u201cWait! Why are we going down <em>this<\/em> road?! I <em>do not like<\/em> that road; I don\u2019t want to go down there. It\u2019s scary; it\u2019s risky;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cTrust Me; trust Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s awkward.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, I\u2019m starting to look over\u2014I\u2019m being the backseat driver\u2014\u201cNo; no, I <em>never<\/em> said that I would go there. Nope; nope. [Ann tries to take over the front seat] I\u2019m going to help You. Let me help You, Jesus.\u201d I\u2019m trying to\u2014like, \u201cLord, no! No! Don\u2019t do that. No! Here, I\u2019m going to help You.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever done this? [Laughter] I am good at helping Jesus\u2014like, \u201cJesus, no!\u201d\u2014I get so scared, and I want to control it. He saying, \u201cAnn, trust Me. Just go where\/let Me take you where I know you\u2019ll find joy and fulfillment.\u201d This is good; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t know you were going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what happens\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014crawl on my head. [Laughter] <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014I think what happens is, when we are back here, it feels scary; and sometimes, we don\u2019t want to do it. I think, sometimes, God is saying, \u201cJust cling to Me.\u201d There are some times it is <em>so hard<\/em> that I can\u2019t even pedal. It\u2019s almost like I just want to cling to Him, close my eyes, and trust Him for everything; because this is the scariest position of all. Yet, it\u2019s the <em>safest<\/em>, most wonderful place we could ever be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what we\u2019ve been listening to\u2014Dave and Ann Wilson talking about surrender\u2014letting God take control of your life and not trying to pull back the handlebars. In fact, really, you should go to our website and watch the video clip of Ann demonstrating being on the back of a bicycle built for two and trying to climb over the top so you can steer and control the handlebars. The video clip is available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can go there to see it. If you\u2019d like to download the complete message from Dave Wilson today, from Ephesians, Chapter 5, about marriage, that is available online as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just encourage you: \u201cAll of us go through seasons in marriage, where we have to recalibrate, where we have to pull back and say, \u2018Okay, we\u2019ve got some habits we\u2019ve developed over the years\u2014some patterns that are not healthy\u2014some things that we are doing that are not helping us achieve oneness in our marriage.\u201d That\u2019s what the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve met with couples, who have been to <em>multiple<\/em> getaways. Some couples make it an annual checkup for their marriage to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and they get something new out of it every year. We have about 30 of these events being hosted in cities all across the country this fall. And right now, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners can register for an upcoming getaway and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. We\u2019re making this available through next Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to take advantage of this special offer, today is the day for you to go online to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can register by phone; you can get more information on the website: find out when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live, and then register online if you like. Again, you\u2019ll save 50 percent of the regular registration fee as long as you sign up <em>today<\/em>. The getaway is going to be a <em>great<\/em> weekend for both of you. Let me encourage you again: \u201cGo to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; and join us for an upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today. Thanks for joining us. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church congregation this weekend, and I hope you can join us on Monday. We\u2019re going to hear, again, from Dave and Ann Wilson about how important it is for us to understand how big God is and the impact that can have on your marriage and your family. That comes up Monday. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I am Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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