{"id":307204,"date":"2021-08-20T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-08-20T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/mile-markers\/"},"modified":"2021-08-20T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T11:00:05","slug":"mile-markers","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mile-markers\/","title":{"rendered":"Mile Markers"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you needing a game plan for discipling your kids? Kennon Vaughan gives some simple ideas for marking milestones in their lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-08-20.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:10","filesize":"25.79M","filesize_raw":"27046317","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[5870,4299,2209],"podcast_series":[8467],"cwp_profile":[9648],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307204","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-discipleship","tag-faith","tag-parenting","podcast_series-discipling-your-family","cwp_profile-kennon-vaughan","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307204\/mile-markers","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307204\/mile-markers","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6ku7M1mdfG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mile-markers\/\">Mile Markers<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mile-markers\/embed\/#?secret=6ku7M1mdfG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Mile Markers&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6ku7M1mdfG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are you needing a game plan for discipling your kids? Kennon Vaughan gives some simple ideas for marking milestones in their lives.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-08-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things you did with our boys, as they were growing up, is you had some\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We played a lot of sports.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, you did that; [Laughter] but you had some mile markers with the boys when they turned significant ages. One of those was at 13\u2014you would take them on a trip\u2014and you would do some pretty significant things with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I actually read <em>Raising a Modern-Day Knight<\/em> by Robert Lewis when I was a young father\u2014knowing I never had a dad\/didn\u2019t have any mile markers in my life with my dad, especially spiritually\u2014I just knew, \u201cBoy, I have a chance to change a legacy here. I have a chance to start a new path for the Wilson name and for the spiritual heritage of our name.\u201d So yes, that book gave me some markers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe 13-year-old was a big one I could go through with CJ, and then Austin, and then Cody. That was a pivotal moment for manhood; but especially for my son, to impart my faith down to the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about discipleship in the home. We\u2019ve got Kennon Vaughan back with us. Man, you have a <em>passion<\/em> for this topic, not only as a pastor of Harvest Church in Memphis, but President of Downline Ministries\u2014which, again, you can tell us a little bit about that if people missed that\u2014but really more as a dad of five sons, you want to do that very thing, pass onto the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m telling you\u2014if anybody missed what we talked about previously\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t miss it; go listen. We talk about the peg in the morning, the peg in the evening to sort of lead your family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Kennon Vaughan is back with us, and we\u2019re excited to have you back with us again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Thanks, Ann. Thrilled\u2014not just to be able to talk about this topic so central to my heart and just all of our lives\u2014as parents\/as Christian parents, we want to honor the Lord and disciple our children; and yet, it\u2019s a difficult thing to do\u2014it\u2019s an intimidating thing to do; at times, it feels overwhelming\u2014at times, we don\u2019t feel like we know where to start. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve just learned, in my 20 years of vocational ministry, most good, Jesus-loving, God-fearing, Christian parents would <em>love<\/em> to raise their children in the training and instruction of the Lord, as Paul says, but have no game plan\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> \u2014just don\u2019t know how to do it. I didn\u2019t either; Kathryn and I were the same way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been married 15 years, have 5 sons, 13 down to 3 in the ages. We realized, along the way, that we didn\u2019t have a game plan. It was kind of like: \u201cWe\u2019re not going to accidentally stumble into faithfully discipling our children. We\u2019ll never do it perfectly, but we sure do want to do it intentionally. If there are a few things we\u2019re going to do in life, let\u2019s, at least, go for it on this one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Talking about the pegs, just start every day in God\u2019s Word\u2014something very short, very simple\u2014it puts all of our minds on truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Earlier\u2014and again, if they missed this, I don\u2019t want them to miss this\u2014it is messy. I mean, you\u2019ve got a three-year-old; there are kids running around a little bit; there is loudness; there are things falling off the thing; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We know, as our kids got older, then, you have teenagers that are at times like, \u201cUh! Do we have to do this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes, sure; don\u2019t want you to get too idealistic of a picture of that time. [Laughter] It is not faithful worshippers, Bibles open, and highlighters in hand. [Laughter] Yes, it\u2019s kids that, at times, are trying to stay awake, or frustrated with one of us or with each other, or a kid that is spilling milk all over the floor, or just general shouting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, in the midst of the mess, they will catch on to the rhythm of: \u201cHey, we\u2019re a family that starts our day with God\u2019s Word, even when it\u2019s messy\/even when we\u2019re frustrated.\u201d There are discipleship opportunities in all of that; it\u2019s a rhythm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And let me say here, too, Kennon\u2014that with, now, adult kids\u2014we\u2019ve recognized that our kids may not have grasped, at those ages, the principles that we are teaching; but they are seeing, \u201cThis is something that our parents are really passionate about.\u201d They are seeing our love for God. They may not remember all the details of the teaching that day; but they know that God\u2019s Word is significant, and they know that we are going after God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes; so two things about that, Ann; that\u2019s a great point. I remember\u2014in my three years, walking closely with \u201cSoup\u201d Campbell, a godly man discipling me\u2014people ask me all the time, \u201cWhat did he teach you?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI can\u2019t pinpoint a lesson, but I can point to a lifestyle. I know him and his heart, and what makes him tick, and what he is passionate about, and his favorite food,\u201d\u2014which is pork chops and raw onion\u2014\u201cYou know, I did life with him. That translates\u201d; in 1 Corinthians 3, you become like who you behold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why Paul invites the Thessalonians in Corinthians: \u201cFollow me as I follow Christ.\u201d That\u2019s why Jesus invited the twelve: \u201cFollow Me.\u201d Those kids are following you; they are following you into God\u2019s Word each morning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about the other peg real quick\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and then let\u2019s talk about milestones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Sure; in the evenings, there is something special for us about getting on our knees, just kind of humbling ourselves, recognizing our need, and praying. Even when my oldest was three, and I started the tradition, I didn\u2019t have some grand plan. I just was praying, and he was climbing on me. It was kind of sweet, but we just kept going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomebody challenged me once: \u201cYou\u2019ve got 7,000 nights with that son until you, Lord willing, launch him off at 18.\u201d I started thinking, \u201cYou know, there is a lot of ways I will fail; but I would love to, as close as I can, pray with him and over him 7,000 times.\u201d We kept having boys, and they keep adding to the train. It\u2019s just been sweet to watch them become pray-ers. I get to know them and their heart through that time, and they get to know me and my heart. We walk together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou start with a little of God\u2019s Word, and you end with intimacy and prayer. I just promise you\u2019ll have a lifestyle that provides opportunities to point them towards Jesus and the gospel all throughout the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn, one thing you said, too, reminded me there is an old Jewish maxim of a disciple asking the rabbi, \u201cHey, why did God tell us to put God\u2019s Word on our hearts and not in our hearts?\u201d The rabbi said, \u201cWell, we can\u2019t\u2014the way we are, cold and callous toward God\u2014we can\u2019t really put it in our hearts; but when life happens, and our hearts break open, God\u2019s Word\u2014if it\u2019s on our hearts\u2014it\u2019ll fall in; it will seep in.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKathryn and I always keep that in mind. If our kids seem disinterested, or even rebellious, we\u2019re going, \u201cYou know what? Let\u2019s keep shepherding them by putting God\u2019s Word on their heart, and let God break them\u201d; you know? I don\u2019t want that for them, but it\u2019s going to happen\u2014life is going to happen\u2014and God is going to lovingly break their hearts intentionally. We want what falls in to be that Word that every day we are gently putting on their heart\/putting before them as best we can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay, talk about some of the other things you do. You mentioned like these mile markers, or\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014or rites of passage, or whatever you call them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes; read the same book you read\u2014that was helpful for me\u2014by Robert Lewis; he has become a friend\u2014and just been challenged by men. Again, Kathryn and I say, \u201cLet\u2019s try and be as intentional as we can,\u201d\u2014knowing amidst the mess, amidst the distraction, and amidst our own failures\u2014we wanted to put down a blueprint that held us accountable. We didn\u2019t just want to wake up one day\u2014everybody says: \u201cIt goes by so fast,\u201d \u201cBefore you know it, they are gone,\u201d\u2014well, we said, \u201cWell, we can kind of see that beginning to happen: the balls are spinning, and plates are spinning. Balls can be dropped if we don\u2019t have a plan, so let\u2019s go ahead and etch some things in stone that we will do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>As I said, \u201cetch\u2026in stone,\u201d it reminded me of a simple tradition we have. We have Joshua stones. Anytime something happens that\u2019s a unique working of God that we witness as a family. If we are praying for someone\u2019s salvation in another family, and that person comes to Christ, we will write down how God answered that prayer. Or some way God moves to overcome a significant struggle in one of our lives in our family\u2014we\u2019re honest about those; we pray about these things together\u2014and we take a Sharpie<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and write it on a big stone and have it in this chest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Every once in a while, on a Sunday night, we will pull out the chest; and everybody will reach in there and grab one. Then it\u2019s really fun; they will read the date, and they will read the little summary; and I will tell the story again. We just recount God\u2019s faithfulness, which gives you so much courage and excitement and hope toward continuing to pray for God to move. It\u2019s an example of a really easy tradition that has brought great fruit, I would say, in my life and in my sons\u2019 lives of living expectant lives for God to show up in their lives and in the lives we are praying for; so little things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started to mention on the last show\u2014we, having five boys\u2014rites of passage is a good word. We said, \u201cWhat are significant ages and significant lessons, and how can we align them in a special way?\u201d We chose eight, ten, thirteen, and sixteen. I do something on their birthday\u2014give them kind of a gift of where I\u2019m going to take them at some point during\u2014I give myself a 12-month window\u2014but during that year, as a kid turns eight, we\u2019re going to do an overnighter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat overnighter is real intentional. I\u2019m going to get away with that son. The goal for me, in that overnighter, is to tell that son: \u201cWhat is unique about him,\u201d \u201cHow did God uniquely create you?\u2014what have we seen?\u2014what do we delight in?\u2014what do we cherish?\u201d \u201cHow exciting to think that God has knit you together in your mother\u2019s womb, exactly like He has.\u201d I have intel from his brothers\/from his mother\u2014I just pour into him his unique design and how much he is loved\u2014that there is no\/ he doesn\u2019t ever have to perform for that. I want him to live a life, assured that he\u2019s one of the greatest joys in our lives and one of the most important pieces of our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really just to bathe him in: \u201cGod knows you, formed you, loves you, has gifted you. We delight in that, can\u2019t wait to call those gifts out, and see those play out in your life.\u201d And let him know how loved he is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen with the ten-year-old\u2014Dave, you\u2019re not that far ahead of me, but a little ways\u2014I think these things used to be necessarily later; but now, they are earlier\u2014just a conversation on gender and sexuality; biblical manhood is what I call that one\u2014that we want to understand the birds and the bees. I want to be the first one to introduce them to all of what is coming in middle school. Again, that used to be something we encouraged parents to do around 13; now, they are encouraging parents to do this around 10\/11. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to open their eyes to God\u2019s design, and the world\u2019s ideas; what we believe and why we believe it. That one has a little bit more of a teaching component. We go somewhere fun that that child chooses, so that one is usually an out-of-towner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen at 13\u2014which I just got my first 13-year-old\u2014that is one where we do something you guys did. Ceremonially, we invite all of the family over: do a big fire, and have everybody write down\/we actually give them some stones of remembrance, and we write down a character quality that each person sees. Every person has written a letter that they give that son; they speak those qualities into their life that they see and the potential that they have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, again, I try to do a getaway trip, where I talk about, \u201cWhat does it mean to be a noble man of God?\u201d So just have character qualities that we begin to talk about that are also kind of family values of ours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at 16\u2014have not gotten there yet\u2014but that is when I take each one on a mission trip and say, \u201cI want you to see the world\/see what God is doing among the nations; and from this moment on, you\u2019re a part of that and <em>never<\/em> turn back.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s interesting, as you hear that\u2014first of all, it\u2019s beautiful\u2014I mean, literally, my mind is listening there, going, \u201cOh, I can do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cThere are markers. I can do that.\u201d But often, we get afraid as parents, like, \u201cWhat do I do on the actual trip?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Well, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So FamilyLife has some great resources: <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, <em>Passport2Identity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014it gives you a template; it gives you sort of a game plan\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cYes, we know; it\u2019s not something you just\/so here you go. You don\u2019t have to use everything in it, but you can really do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just gave a model\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014for what it looks like. I <em>never<\/em> thought of the stone thing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, I know; isn\u2019t that a good idea? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014the Joshua stones\u2014what a <em>beautiful<\/em> memory. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m also thinking about this\u2014if you had a daughter, you\u2019d probably do the same thing, the same ages\u2014but would your wife take them on that trip? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Certainly; I can only speak, in a limited capacity, as a father with sons; but absolutely. Again, the whole deal is\u2014and Dave you said it\u2014people might be like, \u201cOh, you\u2019re a pastor; you probably know what to say. I wouldn\u2019t know what to say!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cPull out your sermon.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right; but listen, again, having these pegs in life in the morning and evenings will help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you put it on the calendar, though\u2014I\u2019ve learned something\u2014folks that feel completely intimidated and overwhelmed\u2014you put that trip on the calendar, and that kid may be nine; but as you get there, you know what you will do? You will say, \u201cWell, that trip is coming up; I need to figure out what I\u2019m going to say.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> You will start asking friends, finding mentors, going to your local church pastor, going to FamilyLife for resources. Hey, I\u2019m not worried about it; if you put it on the calendar and commit to \u2018I will,\u2019\u2014this is the same thing Kathryn and I\/we will mark these moments\u2014the resources won\u2019t be your problem; the problem is if those become an excuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Put it down and do it. Yes, mothers with daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook, if you are a single mom [with a son], invite a man in. Good gracious, if there was single mom in our church\u2014I\u2019m even thinking of one now\u2014if she were to ask me to do this with her son, who I have coached in baseball before\u2014I love him\u2014I wouldn\u2019t blink. What better can we do than to help point young men toward the gospel and be that surrogate father in that kind of an instance? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would just say, \u201cChoose to be intentional.\u201d Traditions are one way to do it; pegs in the mornings and in the evenings are one way to do it; there is no perfect way to do it. But I think what I\u2019m susceptible to is not doing it; so for me, it\u2019s accountability. It\u2019s a reminder of what is truly important in life: \u201cWhat is God calling me to do, first and foremost?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKathryn and I are going to swing and miss a whole lot; but once they are launched, we want to look back, amidst all of the failure and all of the missed opportunity, and say, \u201cHey, we\u2019re really thankful we didn\u2019t short-cut those traditions. God has used those, and we believe there will be fruit from that for the rest of their lives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have to imagine they are probably all anticipating their trips. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Oh gosh! They can\u2019t wait; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> They are either on an on-birthday or an off-birthday. If you\u2019re at an 8, 10, 13, 16, that\u2019s a really exciting year, which there is great accountability in that; but \u201cDad, what are we going to do?\u201d They can\u2019t wait for it; it\u2019s so special. Just the\/again, just the time that you are taking to speak truth into their minds and hearts will win you the opportunity to point them towards Jesus and the gospel for all the days to come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t be afraid to be afraid; but step into that fear. Put down\u2014spend some time with the Lord, meditating on how to make that time\/that trip special\u2014on what you could: who you could involve, what resources you need\u2014just like any project we do for work or anything else that takes a whole lot of our time and emotional capacity, we do it; because it\u2019s important to us. There is nothing more important than this; so we want to exhaust all the physical, emotional resources we need to make this a special mile marker\/defining moment in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You guys, talk to the mom that\u2019s listening, that hears this and just <em>weeps<\/em>, because she thinks, \u201cMy husband will never do this. He\u2019s not a believer,\u201d or \u201cHe\u2019s just not on board with this kind of thing.\u201d She <em>longs<\/em> for it, especially for her sons. How would you encourage her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> You know, first, there is general grace that God\u2019s given us that fathers need to pass onto sons in some of the areas that we\u2019ve talked about. Even in that scenario, as that woman, I would still invite your husband into a process, where, \u201cHey, it\u2019s going to be hard for me to help him become a man. There are some things he needs from you. What if we did this?\u2014what if, at eight, you just told him his place in our family and qualities he has?\u201d This isn\u2019t overtly Christian;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> \u2014this is a dad and his son. And \u201cWhat if, at ten, can you have the birds-and-the-bees talk with him? I think that will be more effective; he will need to go to you as a resource for the rest of his life, not just me. I\u2019m going to pray that God is going to use that time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you can still invite him to be a dad through the general grace of what a dad is meant to give a son, and only a dad can give a son. And if the dad is unwilling to even do that, then, again, I would invite you: \u201cGet involved in a local church, where there are godly men\/there are pastors that would <em>love<\/em> to come along and fill a gap. I didn\u2019t have that specifically in my life. Again, I had a great dad, who taught me a lot of things; but a spiritual father, I didn\u2019t have. There were some men, who filled the gaps for me, who invited me to their home to be a part of Bible studies; because they knew that would be something that I would need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo this day, when I see those men, one of them is named Ken Wilson, and he is on the board of Downline. He is an elder in our church, but that relationship started when he invited me into his home to be a part of a Bible study. His wife cooked for me, and there was another man who led it. Ken just invited a few of the guys in my age; to this day, I thank him for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a mom, that\u2019s a tough situation; but be intentional. There are godly men that God\u2014you pray for them\u2014God will provide them to fill that gap and how to really point your son toward Jesus as he becomes a man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I had pretty much the same experience\u2014single mom, no dad\u2014she did the same thing: she would go to coaches; she would go to men that she knew in our church and ask them to be sort of a father role model for me in a certain season. I found out later. It didn\u2019t even feel weird\u2014they\u2019d invite me over to their house; they\u2019d invite me to a different deal\u2014and those were the men; my mom was intentional. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I would say this\u2014even Ann, as you were asking that\u2014my heart right now goes to the guys listening, and say, \u201cDude, this is your moment. Step up and be\u201d\u2014and I know some of you are like, \u201cI\u2019m just not good. You guys are both pastors,\u201d\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. You can be intentional to say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuess what? I\u2019m a little older than Kennon; so we\u2019ve got grown sons, married with grandkids. When we were young parents, older parents would say, \u201cYou\u2019re going to blink, and they are going to be gone; you\u2019re going to launch them.\u201d We\u2019d be like, \u201cOh no! That\u2019s not going to happen; it\u2019s going to be <em>forever<\/em>,\u201d\u2014because you are in the toddler stage, and it\u2019s chaos. I can tell you: \u201cYou blink; you\u2019re launching them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, \u201cSeize the day, guys.\u201d Get intentional; decide to step up, even if you don\u2019t know what you are doing. Your effort God will use; because you have a call, and it is to make disciples in your home. It\u2019s the most important thing you\u2019ll do\u2014as a man, as a husband, as a dad\u2014and you only have this moment for this moment, so seize it and grab it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> Yes; that fires me, Dave. I tell those dads\u2014as good as you think Dave and I might be at doing this\u2014your son doesn\u2019t want Dave or me to do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Nope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kennon:<\/strong> They want <em>you<\/em> to do it. You\u2019re the one that is larger than life in their eyes; you\u2019re the one that is their hero. So for you, in the midst of your inadequacy, to trust the Lord with this\u2014that you be intentional with it, and He might use it for His glory and their good\u2014you\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> regret that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All of us, as moms and dads, have a charge from Scripture to raise the next generation\u2014point them to God, teach them the works of God and the ways of God\u2014not only from what\u2019s in the Bible, but from what\u2019s in our own lives\/our own walk with God. What you are going to care about most is the quality of their relationship with Jesus. Dave and Ann Wilson have been talking with Kennon Vaughan about this today; and of course, here at FamilyLife, we have a number of resources designed to help you disciple the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I\u2019m thinking about is our <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, which talks about the priority of discipleship among other subjects that we talk about\u2014we talk about building character in your kids\/discipling your kids; we talk about helping your kids live on mission\u2014there is so much covered in that video series. If you\u2019ve not gone through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> with a small group or online on your own, let me encourage you to do that. You can find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention the ministry that Kennon Vaughan gives leadership to; it\u2019s called Downline, and there is a Downline Institute. We\u2019ve had a number of people from our church, who have gone through this nine-month program. It is an intensive Bible training program to help you get a better understanding of the Scriptures, start to finish, to help you grow <em>deeper<\/em> in your faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Downline Institute is available, virtually, all around the world. They are about to kick off the fall Downline season. If you\u2019d like to study at the Downline Institute, you can find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. There is information on our website about how you can save some money off the tuition by letting them know that you heard about Downline on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the Downline Institute; and make this the year that you get serious about your study of Scripture and your walk with the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, what Dave and Ann have been talking with Kennon Vaughan about today is really our heartbeat, here at FamilyLife. Our goal as a ministry is to help effectively develop godly marriages and families, to train and equip husbands and wives\/moms and dads to live out their faith and to share their faith with others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife, is here with us; and David, our hope is, in the months ahead, FamilyLife can accelerate the work of this ministry and reach more people more often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely; our aim\u2014what we are all about\u2014is connecting more people to Jesus and passing it on. There are four pillars of our mission that we seek to live out; and one of them is families discipling families. It\u2019s Jesus\u2019s way: the extraordinary blessing of every follower of Jesus being able to walk with Him and then pass who He is\u2014and His truth and the beauty of His gospel\u2014to other people in their home and in homes around them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to do everything we can to reach one more home\/one home at a time, with the principles of marriage and family that are found in the Scriptures, and the beauty of the gospel, and how we can walk with Jesus, and experience His presence in our every day. We want every person on the planet to know that opportunity and experience the joys of walking with Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and we want to ask <em>you<\/em> to help us extend the reach of FamilyLife in the months ahead. Here is how you can do that: we\u2019ve got a team of folks, who we refer to as Legacy Partners\u2014these are monthly donors\u2014people, who support this ministry on a monthly basis. They are the financial backbone of everything we do, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur prayer, during the month of August, is that in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, there would be two families who would step forward and say, \u201cWe want to join you and become a new Legacy Partner. We believe in the ministry. We benefit from the ministry. We want to see it continue in our community, and we\u2019re willing to make a monthly investment to see that happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you become a Legacy Partner today, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you, first of all, a copy of Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s new book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. Secondly, we\u2019d like to send you access to more than a dozen messages from Dave and Ann\u2014some have been featured on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; some are brand-new\u2014you\u2019ll have access to those messages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>And<\/em> we want to send you a certificate that you can use for yourself, or you can pass onto someone else. As a couple, you can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. We\u2019re kicking off the fall season of getaways very soon; and we\u2019d love for you to be our guest at an upcoming getaway as a way of saying, \u201cThank you for joining us as a new monthly Legacy Partner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out all the details about this when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or it\u2019s really easy just to call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI want to know more about being a Legacy Partner.\u201d We can take care of everything over the phone with you. We look forward to hearing from you. Please pray that we would see new Legacy Partners in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, and pray about whether <em>you<\/em> should be one those new families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about what moms and dads can do to help adolescent daughters, who may be struggling with insecurity or fears; that is common among young women. If your daughter is experiencing any of that, we\u2019re going to talk about how to address that on Monday. Sissy Goff will be joining us, and we hope you can be back with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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