{"id":307195,"date":"2021-08-10T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-08-10T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/loving-your-daughters\/"},"modified":"2021-08-10T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2021-08-10T11:00:04","slug":"loving-your-daughters","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-daughters\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving Your Daughters"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you think makes your daughter feel loved? Matt and Lisa Jacobson share practical insight into knowing how to build a close and lasting relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-08-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:00","filesize":"24.72M","filesize_raw":"25925460","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2836],"tags":[4798,2209],"podcast_series":[8464],"cwp_profile":[9630],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307195","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-girls","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-100-ways-to-love-your-son-or-daughter","cwp_profile-matt-and-lisa-jacobson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307195\/loving-your-daughters","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307195\/loving-your-daughters","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rW19LN6hTB\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-daughters\/\">Loving Your Daughters<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-daughters\/embed\/#?secret=rW19LN6hTB\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Loving Your Daughters&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rW19LN6hTB\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What do you think makes your daughter feel loved? Matt and Lisa Jacobson share practical insight into knowing how to build a close and lasting relationship.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-08-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay, I have a question to begin today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, good! Well, it may be good; we\u2019ll see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What do you think makes me feel loved? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ohhh, I should know this answer. I know! I mean, words, gifts, time, touch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Oh, all the things!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wait, you\u2019re just naming all of them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know; I\u2019m going in order of love languages, but words of love and affirmation are <em>huge<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was going to say, \u201cTime is probably my number one.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, when we go out on a date, that\u2019s time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You want to <em>talk<\/em>,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014so that\u2019s words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014about our <em>relationship<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m excited because, today, we\u2019re going to help some parents. We\u2019re going to <em>help<\/em> them understand ways that will communicate <em>love<\/em> to their daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve already talked a little bit about how we can communicate love to our sons. We have Matt and Lisa Jacobson back with us today on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be with you again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re excited, you guys, because you really already have helped us understand how to love our sons and how to communicate that. Today, we want to talk about how we love our daughters. I\u2019m excited to see how that will be even a little bit <em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is going to be <em>100 Ways to Love Your Daughter, <\/em>obviously, and we\u2019ve mentioned, you guys are the <em>100 Ways <\/em>couple. You wrote a book on <em>100 Ways to Love Your Husband; \u2026Love Your Wife; <\/em>and now,\u00a0 <em>\u2026Your <\/em>Son; and <em>\u2026Your Daughter. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe haven\u2019t even gotten to it yet\u2014but affirmation\u2014we\u2019ll get to that later. Let\u2019s talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like that subtitle: <em>The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatt, you started FaithfulMan.com. Lisa, you started Club30Women.com. You guys are authors\u2014best-sellers\u2014of these books on family, marriage, women, and men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The parents of eight children!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How do you guys do it all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Four girls, four boys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You know, that\u2019s pretty unusual to have eightkids\u2014eight of your own biological kids\u2014today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Were you just drowning at times?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Oh, yes! [Laughter] Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I was trying to think of a nice, Christian, spiritual answer; but no, that\u2019s it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; it was pretty intense some days, but fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But look at you! [Laughter] You\u2019re really impacting so many and helping so many of us today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was intrigued by your very first way to make your daughter feel loved. You said to ask her questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes\u2014not just, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cWhat are you up to?\u201d\u2014but really asking: \u201cWhat were you thinking today?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s on your heart?\u201d Or get specific\u2014that\u2019s even better\u2014you know, \u201cHow did your conversation with So-and-so go?\u201d or \u201cAre you nervous about this test coming up?\u201d All these things just open up good conversations; and sometimes, they\u2019re not even aware, themselves, they were struggling with something or heavy about something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember myself, being especially a young girl, just feeling lost in my own thoughts and emotions. How nice it is to have somebody <em>care<\/em>, but also help you kind of process some of that too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I mean, do they answer?! Because sometimes I think\u2014maybe it\u2019s a male\/female thing, or maybe not\u2014but sometimes, when Ann asks me a question like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d or \u201c\u2026feeling?\u201d I\u2019ll be like, \u201cNothing really.\u201d Part of me doesn\u2019t want to answer; the other is, \u201cI\u2019m really <em>not <\/em>thinking or feeling anything!\u201d But with daughters, is it different? Do you get answers?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Some of my daughters are very ready with their answer and excited about it. I can also think of another daughter, who I was just talking to this weekend, in fact; and I was just getting the dead-end answers: \u201cNothing,\u201d \u201cNot much.\u201d I thought, \u201cOkay, well, maybe nothing is going on,\u201d but the more we were talking, the more I saw <em>emotion<\/em> in her eyes. And then I just said, \u201cYou seem <em>sad<\/em> in your eyes. Is there a reason I\u2019m seeing that?\u201d And then, they got really teary, and she said, \u201cWell, I suppose; it\u2019s a lot of things.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, well, let\u2019s talk about some of those things.\u201d But she\u2019ll make me work at it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I was talking to Matt after this phone call\u2014do you remember this?\u2014I just said, \u201cI\u2019m really glad I hung in there. I had to keep reminding myself to be patient, and not to yard it out of her, but to really gently pull those things out from her.\u201d She felt so much better after we were done talking. I felt better, and I know she did. Sometimes, you have to work a little harder, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Matt, is it the same for you with your daughters? Is it harder for you to go there? Because, Lisa, you\u2019re <em>watching<\/em> the facial expressions to get what they\u2019re emoting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re not trying to say we men can\u2019t do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m not!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m really not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Just checking; just checking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I\u2019m just asking, with daughters with a dad, are you watching as closely? It\u2019s different for you, probably.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> It is for me. I don\u2019t know if this is for every dad\u2014but I just have this hyper-sense of protection\u2014maybe just, you know, over-the-top kind of protection. [Laughter] So\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait, wait, wait! What does \u201cover-the-top\u201d mean? Was he like\u2014I\u2019m looking at Lisa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m just <em>constantly <\/em>vigilant\u2014I think, too uptight, really, in a lot of ways\u2014so just maybe too uptight about: \u201cI don\u2019t know if that\u2019s the right thing,\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s happening over there?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cIs that safe?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u201cIs that safe?\u201d And so the communication that I had\u2014I mean, early on\u2014was really about, \u201cHey, I\u2019m the protector\u201d; that was my mindset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> And I\u2019m not even saying that that\u2019s necessarily how <em>they<\/em> perceived it, but it\u2019s definitely easier to chit-chat with the kids when they\u2019re younger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> No question about it. You know, when they get older\u2014we talked maybe a little bit about this in the <em>\u2026Sons <\/em>book\u2014where there\u2019s that transition to manhood; and it\u2019s over the course of years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Almost like the dawn\u2014right?\u2014it\u2019s a little light, and then it gets lighter and lighter until the full light of the sun. It took me a while to understand, \u201cOh, that\u2019s the mode we\u2019re in; that\u2019s the season we\u2019re in.\u201d Now, my daughters are just\/if they get in trouble, they call me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> One thing I\u2019ve noticed, particularly in terms of this kind of conversation is, you\u2019re a good processor; and they like <em>processing<\/em> with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> She and I might have the conversation\u2014the emotion\/the \u201cI feel for you,\u201d\u2014but I\u2019ve noticed they will call you, especially, when it\u2019s something they just want to <em>work<\/em> through\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014without the emotion of mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> And I think we\u2019re now all comfortable enough that I\u2019ll even say, \u201cYou know what? That might be a good thing to talk through with your dad. He\u2019s wise, and I think he\u2019ll see things without the emotional cloud that I can sometimes see things even.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I like that you say: \u201cCloseness comes from seeking; from seeking their hearts and pursuing a relationship.\u201d I know that when our kids became teens, I became <em>so<\/em> focused in on their behavior\u2014of what they <em>weren\u2019t <\/em>doing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and I was fearful of what they were going to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Very natural.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; but now, that our kids are adults, they\u2019ve said, \u201cI wish that you would have pursued my heart more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd asked me more about: \u2018How\u2019s my heart doing that\u2019s making me make these dumb decisions?\u2019\u201d You know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, this world is a big, bad, awful, disgusting place in a lot of ways! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Says the protector! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> See what I mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> So you get <em>focused<\/em> on those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> And you <em>want<\/em> to protect them from, you know, predators and other such influences and people who would take advantage of them; and that can be such a focus. But yes, they need to know that you love them; they need to know you <em>like<\/em> them. They need to know that you like their personality; that they\u2019re wonderful the way they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if a parent can just tell themselves that: \u201cYou know what? My daughter is just <em>wonderful <\/em>the way she is!\u201d Now, it\u2019s interesting, having four daughters, their personalities couldn\u2019t <em>possibly<\/em> be more different. It\u2019s really interesting that way. But we just have tried to communicate with them: \u201cYou know what? You are a unique, wonderful, beautiful creation of God,\u201d and \u201cWe just love how you think! We love who you are! We <em>love <\/em>your personality!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, there are maybe even parents out there, who are thinking, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t really love my kid\u2019s personality right now\u201d; [Laughter] you know? But sometimes, you can speak the future truth into them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to love the bad thing they did to you, but you can love who they are. Tell yourself, \u201cI need to communicate that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> That reminds me\u2014I was just talking to a mom recently\/this last week\u2014and she has a little girl, who\u2019s just very emotional\/high-strung, flips out all the time\/meltdowns.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014dramatic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> She, herself, is kind of a no-nonsense personality; so she\u2019s just at a loss with what to do with this little girl. I said, \u201cOh, I love this! She\u2019s passionate!\u201d She goes, \u201cOh, what\u2019s that word?!\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cNo, this is wonderful! You know, it\u2019s hard when they\u2019re five and they\u2019re that passionate; because it could be over the bowl of cereal, and it\u2019s a total meltdown.\u201d I said, \u201cBut you know, just think of this little girl when she\u2019s 25,\u201d\u2014I was thinking of one of our daughters and how she is passionate for pro-life; and she\u2019s out there marching and she\u2019s advocating\u2014\u201cThat passion is a <em>beautiful<\/em> thing in a 25-year-old woman.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, to project that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It\u2019s hard when they\u2019re five, maybe; it can be. I told her\/I said, \u201cI wish I would have had that picture in my mind when my little girl was five, because I think it just would have been so much easier to go, \u2018Hey, I know you\u2019re overflowing with it now; but just wait until the Lord matures you, and we walk through this together. It\u2019s going to be a beautiful thing!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so funny, Lisa, because I was just talking to a group of young moms with daughters. I said, \u201cYou know, I\u2019d be careful of using the words, \u2018You\u2019re so dramatic!\u2019\u201d Every single one of the moms said, \u201cOh, no!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cThat\u2019s all\/we use it all the time!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They said, \u201cBut she <em>is <\/em>dramatic!\u201d I said the same thing: \u201cShe\u2019s <em>passionate<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cShe <em>feels <\/em>so deeply.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, we\u2014one of our sons was\u2014would the word be \u201cdramatic\u201d? He was just very passionate. Everything had to be lined up and just 100 percent in everything. At times, as a parent, it was just <em>exasperating.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You just, \u201cOhhh!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s draining.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And then, when he became a man, and he gave his first sermon at our church\u2014he\u2019s a pastor\/preacher now\u2014the first sermon, we just looked at each other, like, \u201cOh, there it is!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cIt all makes sense!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He was on fire up there! He was jumping around like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He was crying; he was passionate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cOh, there it is! It\u2019s being used now in a <em>beautiful<\/em> way.\u201d But man, as a parent, it was one of the most frustrating things. You\u2019re right, Lisa, you\u2019ve got to project into the future:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cThis is a beautiful, unique gifting in your child that God can possibly use some day to advance the kingdom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Because if our goal is to get through breakfast, let\u2019s just say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014the bowl of cereal is a <em>problem<\/em>; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cThis meltdown is a problem,\u201d and \u201cYou\u2019re interfering with my goals, and so I\u2019m frustrated with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say this gently and carefully, and with conviction: \u201cIf our goal, as a parent, is to raise up this child for the kingdom of God, then it\u2019s just breakfast; and we don\u2019t have to worry about it. What we really want to do is like, \u201cHey, you\u2019re feeling really strongly about this right now. Let\u2019s address this; let\u2019s work through this.\u201d It\u2019s no longer just an inconvenience; it\u2019s actually an opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> And really, you know, I think it\u2019s probably time I should tell the dead goat milk story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Aww. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> We don\u2019t run a deli. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> We have eight kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> We have all our little kids: \u201cYou\u2019re going to eat what\u2019s put before you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u201cAnd we\u2019re not doing the drama thing; that\u2019s not happening. You\u2019re just going to have what you\u2019re given.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we got cereal. We used to not do a lot of cereal, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Cold cereal is a treat; it\u2019s expensive!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Right\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, it is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u2014for that crowd. Anyway, we got goat milk. We always had goat milk; we had friends, who had a goat milk farm, so we got goat milk. Anyway, I put it on the cereal; and the kids were just sitting there, with this look on their face. I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?!\u201d because I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHey! We went out and got cereal. You kids are supposed to likecereal! We\u2019re having breakfast; you\u2019re going to have to have breakfast.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cThis is a <em>treat<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u201cThis is a treat\u201d; absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cEat your treat!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> And Vienna, our no-nonsense daughter, goes, \u201cDad, this is dead goat milk.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter] I said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to put up with any of this complaining! What in the world?!\u201d And no kid would touch it! I took the jug, and I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you kids? There\u2019s nothing wrong!\u201d I took a big drink of it, and then I threw it in the sink. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Was it that bad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It was <em>so <\/em>bad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, it had gone bad; there\u2019s nothing wrong with goat milk. [Laughter] All you goat milk farmers out there, don\u2019t write in and complain;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It had sat in the sun or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u2014because it\u2019s a great thing to have if you can get it, but there was something wrong with this one. And it just reminded me\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> We all laughed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, we all laughed; but the parent, who\u2019s not going to put up with drama\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, as we talk about asking kids real questions, I was remembering when I was 16 years old. My dad\u2014I\u2019m the youngest of four\u2014he didn\u2019t spend a lot of time with me. My uncle had cancer; my mom had to take him to chemo treatments. Every time my mom was out of town\u2014and she took him once a week\u2014my dad would say to me; all the other siblings are now out of the house\u2014he\u2019d say, \u201cHey, we\u2019re going out to dinner.\u201d It felt\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because he didn\u2019t know how to cook. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! And it felt really awkward, because I\u2019d never spent time with my dad. I was nervous. It sounds crazy, but I just didn\u2019t know him. He sat, and he began asking me questions\/deep questions, like, \u201cTell me who you are now.\u201d You know, I am like, \u201cWhat?! What is happening right now?\u201d And that dinner continued; he\u2019d get an extra cup of coffee and ask more questions: \u201cTell me about what you see as your future.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was\u2014I\u2019m still going to tell you\u2014those were some of the best days of my life with my dad, because he saw me; he took an interest in me. When somebody asks questions and really listens, you feel incredibly important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You feel loved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and loved, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things I love, too, is you said\u2014here\u2019s an example\u2014I felt like you had some of these ways to love [your] daughters, [who] were very much alike; you said, \u201cGet up early and watch the sunrise together.\u201d Tell us about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, sometimes, you can just do something that\u2019s out of the ordinary with the kids. You know what? If you put a plan together like that, they\u2019ll be all-in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s just do it! Let\u2019s just go. Let\u2019s do something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Tell me the first time you did this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, it wasn\u2019t just the sunrise\u2014we\u2019ve done a number of things like that\u2014for instance, one time in November, there was a meteor shower at night. I said, \u201cOkay; we\u2019re just going to take the blankets, and we\u2019re going to put them out on the lawn. We\u2019re all going to get out there; we\u2019ll get under a couple of blankets, and we\u2019ll just watch the stars and see who can find the most shooting stars.\u201d That\u2019s a time that we did that sort of thing. I can tell you, as a parent\/as a dad, I wish I would have done a <em>thousand<\/em> more of these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely! What I was referencing in the broadcast about sons is\u2014there are things in the books, where we grew into\/we <em>learned<\/em> to do these things. I wish I would have done a lot\/a lot more of those kinds of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I had one of those awakening moments when one of our daughters was, I think, about 12\/13. She just was clearly exasperated with me; she said, \u201cMom, I just wish you\u2019d spend time with me!\u201d Here I am, a homeschooling mom. [Laughter] I feel like I\u2019m a pretty committed mom. I took her to music lessons. I couldn\u2019t believe it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re with her all the time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I\u2019m with her way too much! [Laughter] But she <em>meant<\/em> it with all her heart and was clearly just so frustrated with me. I thought, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got to figure this out.\u201d I realized, I\u2019d been doing all these things <em>for <\/em>her\u2014taking her to music lessons, cooking her meals, home-educating her\u2014but in her young girl\u2019s mind, that\u2019s not the same thing as, \u201cI just want to be with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started taking her out, just doing little date nights. Actually, she\u2019s in her 20s now, and we still have a weekly date. We\u2019ll go to coffee, or we\u2019ll grab something to eat. We just <em>love <\/em>this time together; love it! And she was probably my hardest kid to connect with, and she\u2019ll be the first to tell you that. We just had a hard time, personality-wise, connecting. But that gentle pursuit of her heart and just saying, \u201cI don\u2019t have an agenda. We\u2019re just hanging today. We\u2019re going to do something a little special\u2014nothing fancy\u2014but special.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We did that with our three sons. How do you do that with eight kids?! How are you dating these eight kids? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, I do want to touch on just that one point\/just that subtle point. There are a lot of parents who do a lot of things for their kids; and they\u2019re doing, and they\u2019re doing, and they\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014sacrificially!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> You know, so it\u2019s real!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It\u2019s not like it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Absolutely; you\u2019re all in,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> \u2014but there is a massive difference between doing and being. In that being mode, what you\u2019re really saying is, \u201cI <em>want<\/em> to be with you.\u201d Whereas, in the doing mode, \u201cI\u2019m just doing things <em>for<\/em> you.\u201d But your daughter needs to know that you actually <em>want<\/em> to be with her. It\u2019s really more communicating that you <em>want <\/em>that time with her than that you had that time and checked the box off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know about you, Ann; but I have always struggled with performance, like I just have to be doing things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, me too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Checking things off the box; that\u2019s what makes me a legit person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Get things done! That\u2019s all we do as moms; we are getting stuff done!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> We are Get-it-done girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just wonder how it could have been different if the people, who loved me\/around me, were just content with just being with me\/that I was okay just as I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> And I didn\u2019t have to be doing all these things to be a joy. I really want to communicate that to our daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> You know, nobody looks back on their parenting and says, \u201cYou know what? I wish we would have spent more time making sure the kid got to soccer practice,\u201d or \u201c\u2026making sure we didn\u2019t miss music lessons,\u201d\u2014nobody says that. What they regret is that they didn\u2019t reach the heart of their child. The way you do that: \u201cKids spell love T-I-M-E.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> It\u2019s just being there; and again, communicating that you <em>want <\/em>to be there. That\u2019s the nugget: \u201cThis child\/my daughter knows I actually <em>want <\/em>to be there with her.\u201d That\u2019s really the core of it: this sense that I\u2019m communicating <em>value<\/em> to her. We are, as parents, communicating <em>value<\/em> to our kids. We actually <em>want<\/em> to be with them; and that fills that child with a sense of security, a sense of value, and a sense of love. That\u2019s really the core of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t matter whether you have three or eight kids, or what life throws at you. You know, we\u2019ve had a few challenges. We have a daughter, who\u2019s severely brain damaged. When that happened, it took two years out of our life in terms of just fighting for her existence. She\u2019s 21 now\u2014in a wheelchair; a paraplegic\u2014there\u2019s that. And then, my parents actually lived with us for the better part of 25 years, or something like that. My mom got Alzheimer\u2019s; she had it for 10 years. But those things are just this weight of obligation that come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m listening to all you\u2019ve been through. Those are <em>hard <\/em>things; they\u2019re weighty things\u2014you\u2019re right\u2014they\u2019re heavy; and yet, you\u2019re loving these eight kids under your roof.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Imperfectly, but yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> In a way\u2014imperfectly, yes\u2014but you\u2019re intentional.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> As you said earlier: \u201cWay to go!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cWay to go!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd part of what I\u2019m hearing\u2014and I think this is something that\u2019s very\u2014again, I\u2019m speaking sort of, as a parent who\u2019s been there; you know?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014not that we\u2019re done\u2014but we sort of are in some ways. We get so involved in doing things that we think we\u2019re with our kids, and we\u2019re watching them play soccer;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014their activities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you know? I remember, years ago, somebody asked us at our church, \u201cHow do you do it all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cYou know, you\u2019ve got three boys, and you\u2019re doing this, and you\u2019re leading this church.\u201d I remember looking at them, and going, \u201cNo, we don\u2019t\/we say, \u2018No,\u2019 to so many other things. Do you know how many coaches wanted our son to be in this league, and this league, and this league?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember I was coaching Little League baseball, and they said\/they literally told me\u2014these other guys\u2014\u201cIf you don\u2019t play 60 games this summer, your kids will never progress.\u201d I am like, \u201cWe\u2019re playing 20; that\u2019s it!\u201d; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And they look at you like, \u201cYou don\u2019t care about your kids!\u201d \u201cNo; I care more about my kids being with us, as a family, sitting down at dinner tables and hanging out in the back yard than I do sitting in bleachers, watching them play another sport.\u201d Again, I\u2019m not against that; obviously, I coached all the way through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I loved that, but I think we get so involved in doing that we\u2019re not <em>being<\/em> a family!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And the memories are really not\u2014they don\u2019t remember us sitting, watching them play\u2014they remember us playing with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I agree with that, Dave. And it\u2019s hard to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to some of those things, when you feel the pressure of our culture,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014telling us, \u201cThis is what\u2019s important.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear is important to you guys is a family, whose foundation is on the Rock of Jesus. When I hear all you\u2019ve been through, it makes me think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s your strength.\u201d Talk about that as we close.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Well, there\u2019s probably not a person listening, who doesn\u2019t have all kinds of things in their life that they just wouldn\u2019t choose for themselves; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> All kinds of people listening, who have things that they would never choose for themselves. And yet, as we take a step back, and just look at it, and we go, \u201cYou know, if I didn\u2019t choose this for myself, is this something that God allowed into my life for His purposes?\u201d God\u2019s at work; and God\u2019s at work in us, and He\u2019s at work in our children. God\u2019s so gracious with us on the journey that He\u2019s taken with us; He\u2019s so patient with us; He\u2019s so unconditionally loving toward us. He\u2019s that Father, who has His arms out all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan we recognize that our children are on a journey too? They\u2019re walking through life, too, and they have things in their lives that they wouldn\u2019t choose for themselves. God is at work; and as a parent, I just come back to that verse in James 4:8; it says, \u201cDraw near to God, and He will draw near to you.\u201d Our walk in life is about walking in communion with the Father. The Word of God says, \u201cWhen we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHaving a great relationship with your kids, as a believer, really starts with communing with God and walking with Him\/walking in the light with Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s so good! Thank you, guys, for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong> Great to be with you. God bless!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I imagine you\u2019re finding yourself thinking about practical ways that you can express love for your children, whether it\u2019s writing a note, sending them a text, doing something special with them to engage with them. We need to be looking for simple opportunities\/simple ways that we can connect, heart to heart, with our kids and for them to understand we really do love them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatt and Lisa Jacobson have written two books to help us with this. One book is called <em>100 Ways to Love Your <\/em>Son; the other is <em>100 Ways to Love Your Daughter.<\/em> We\u2019re making both of these books available to listeners this week: those of you who can join the team that makes <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible for you, for people in your community, for people all around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. We\u2019re here today because listeners, like you, made today\u2019s program possible. We want to ask <em>you<\/em> to make tomorrow\u2019s program possible by making a donation today. It\u2019s easy to do; you can donate online. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; you can donate over the phone. Again, your donations help cover the costs of producing and syndicating this program so that hundreds of thousands of people, every day, can benefit from the work that\u2019s being done here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be happy to send you, as a thank-you gift, Matt and Lisa Jacobson\u2019s books, <em>100 Ways to Love Your Son <\/em>and <em>100 Ways to Love Your Daughter.<\/em> We look forward to hearing from you. Thanks, in advance, for your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about some of the wrong thinking that accompanies the subject of singleness; because there are a lot of myths around what it means to be single in our day. Sam Allberry is going to join us tomorrow. I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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