{"id":306904,"date":"2021-06-22T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-06-22T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/put-on-the-good\/"},"modified":"2021-06-22T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2021-06-22T11:00:04","slug":"put-on-the-good","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-on-the-good\/","title":{"rendered":"Put On the Good"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Colossians 3 tells Christians to &#8220;put on&#8221; certain behaviors toward others. Ray and Robyn McKelvy explain to us what that looks like when relating to our spouses.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tRegister for the drawing to win a spot on our Love Like You Mean It Cruise https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/loveyoubetter\u00a0<br \/>\n \tLove Like You Mean it Cruise sale: https:\/\/www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Colossians 3 tells Christians to &#8220;put on&#8221; certain behaviors toward others. Ray and Robyn McKelvy explain to us what that looks like when relating to our spouses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-06-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:37","filesize":"23.46M","filesize_raw":"24598842","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2810],"tags":[5344,6982],"podcast_series":[8451],"cwp_profile":[9319],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306904","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-growing-spiritually","tag-biblical-model","tag-practical-scripture-apply-to-marriage","podcast_series-putting-away-and-putting-on","cwp_profile-ray-and-robyn-mckelvy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306904\/put-on-the-good","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306904\/put-on-the-good","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"cP6DUUf0AH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-on-the-good\/\">Put On the Good<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-on-the-good\/embed\/#?secret=cP6DUUf0AH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Put On the Good&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"cP6DUUf0AH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Colossians 3 tells Christians to \"put on\" certain behaviors toward others. Ray and Robyn McKelvy explain to us what that looks like when relating to our spouses.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-06-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What do you think, when I walk out of the bedroom, when we\u2019re going out for the evening, and I\u2019m wearing like a <em>pink<\/em> sweater or a <em>turquoise<\/em> pair of shorts?\u2014you know, just the hottest thing I can find in my closet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Man, I\u2019m telling you: you look good in <em>anything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Come on, be truthful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You can pull it all off; but I would be thinking, \u201cMaybe we should stay in for tonight.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>No, you would say what you\u2019ve said many times: \u201cAre you wearing that?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014which is your way of saying, \u201cGo back in the closet; find something better.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I said that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; you\u2019ve said that many times. And you know what? You\u2019re right every time; I just got right back in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you have turquoise pants?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, they\u2019re\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, yes! You wear them on the cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I do; I like them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of the cruise!\u2014we\u2019re going to listen to a message today from the FamilyLife <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> virtual cruise from this year, when we couldn\u2019t go out on the water because of COVID. We did a virtual cruise, which <em>thousands<\/em> of people watched from their homes. By the way, I\u2019ve got to say this right here\/right now: \u201cWe\u2019re going on the water next year\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u20142022, February 6<sup>th<\/sup> through the 13<sup>th<\/sup>\u2014we\u2019ll be back on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise. You can sign up right now at FamilyLifeToday.com and get a rate that you can\u2019t beat, so do it right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut this message was given by Ray and Robyn McKelvy, who are our good friends. They\u2019ve been on our FamilyLife speaker team, which means they\u2019ve been speaking at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> [getaways] for over 25 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They\u2019ve got <em>ten <\/em>kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He\u2019s a graduate of Dallas Seminary. They\u2019ve planted a couple churches; they now live in Nashville. They gave this great message about putting off things\u2014it\u2019s really from Colossians 3\u2014where Paul talks about\/sort of our clothes we put off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, it was so good; and it\u2019s super-practical, too; because they talked about Paul saying, \u201c<em>Put off<\/em> anger, and wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk, and lying.\u201d That\u2019s kind of where they\u2019ve come from; and man, that was so helpful and practical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut <em>today<\/em>, we\u2019re going to talk about what we should put <em>on <\/em>in replacement of those things: \u201cWhat does that look like?\u201d In other words: \u201cGo take off those turquoise pants\u201d\u2014what we take off\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cbut what <em>should <\/em>be put on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I think, so many times in our marriages, we just want to know: \u201cWhat do I need to <em>stop<\/em> doing? Just give me a list of what I shouldn\u2019t do.\u201d But that\u2019s only <em>half<\/em> the story. I <em>love<\/em> the fact that there are things that we are to put <em>on. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014just like you put on deodorant everyday [Laughter]; and you put toothpaste on your toothbrush, so you brush those teeth to make them clean; and then, some people put on <em>tons <\/em>of cologne, so everywhere they go, people smell a fresh scent\u2014well, in the same way, God tells us to put on some things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> He tells us to do that so we can be salt and light in this earth. People are looking for a good-flavored meal, and they\u2019re looking for clarity. So if you can see salt and light, God has those things all packaged up in the clothes that He wants us to put on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And I want to encourage you: \u201cGive attention to what you put on.\u201d How is it that\u2014you know, we know what to take off! We all struggle with anger in what we say\u2014but the first thing we want to put on is compassion. You know, I thought about this whole idea of what it means to have sympathy, and that\u2019s what this is\u2014this is the word, \u201ccompassion\u201d\u2014it\u2019s the idea that we are to have empathy. If my spouse is hurting, I shouldn\u2019t be rejoicing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis Christmas, we were surprising our kids with getting a puppy. I know we have a lot of animal lovers here, so that\u2019s saying nothing. I love animals. Robyn loves children, but she doesn\u2019t have as much tolerance for animals; so they\u2019ve been begging for a puppy for <em>years<\/em>. So Robyn\u2014I went to her this Christmas\u2014and she said, \u201cYes,\u201d to getting a puppy. I was totally shocked! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found a Border doodle, and it hadn\u2019t come home yet; so we just had a picture of this puppy that we had put on the television, so the kids could see it. Now, we had a lot of\u2014all of our kids were home\/just about all the kids were home for Christmas\u2014and all the grandkids. We <em>rushed<\/em> into our den to say, \u201cSurprise!\u201d to our two youngest, who had been asking for a puppy. Now, when we did that, Robyn was not in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> I just had to go to the bathroom; I told him, \u201cI\u2019ll be back.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Now, you\u2019ve got to get the feeling of this. She <em>really<\/em> sacrificed a lot to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to a puppy; she really wanted to be there in the unveiling of the surprise. But in all of the chaos, she was not in there. It had already been unveiled; and all of the excitement had been had, and she walked in. She was <em>hurt<\/em>! She walked out and shed tears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when that happened, I can tell you\u2014my heart\/I felt like <em>I<\/em> had been the one who missed out; I felt like I was the one who was gut-punched\u2014I couldn\u2019t even sleep well that night. I remember the next morning, when I said to Robyn, \u201cI am <em>so <\/em>sorry that happened,\u201d I began to weep myself; that\u2019s <em>compassion<\/em>, and that\u2019s what we\u2019re to put on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your spouse is hurting\/if your spouse is struggling, it\u2019s not just <em>them<\/em>\/it\u2019s <em>us<\/em>; so we\u2019re to put on compassion. That\u2019s the ability to <em>feel<\/em> with someone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And like compassion, the next thing that God asks us to put on is kindness. Kindness is nothing but benevolence in action. It\u2019s how you speak to somebody; it\u2019s how you treat somebody\u2014it\u2019s an <em>action<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Kindness is very important. A lot of times, we don\u2019t know how to be kind; because we haven\u2019t had anybody come alongside us to teach us. But one of the things that you can do is\u2014you can ask the Lord\u2014and He will teach you kindness. Kindness is something that you do; it\u2019s an <em>action<\/em>. It\u2019s not just something you put on; it\u2019s something that you try over, and over, and over. If at first, you don\u2019t succeed, try\/try again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Try\/try again; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Kindness is very important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking about the world in which we live; we\u2019re not very kind to each other. Kindness is that ability, not only to have compassion, but it\u2019s seeing someone who may not be seen. I know this sounds simple; but sometimes, I\u2019ve had to say to people: \u201cI see you,\u201d \u201cI see you.\u201d And just having the kindness to <em>recognize<\/em> a person, as Robyn said, it\u2019s an <em>action<\/em>. It\u2019s in what you say; it\u2019s in what you do. And I think it leads to this next one, which is the idea of humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHumility is <em>not<\/em> putting yourself down. I think biblical humility takes place in two ways: one, there is a humility that we have before God\u2014we humble ourselves before God\u2014it\u2019s an attitude of saying, \u201cGod, You are first in my life. I humble myself before You. I <em>bow<\/em> before You.\u201d In this passage, I believe it\u2019s talking about that type of humility. When [I] recognize who God is, then it makes me treat my wife in a different way. Because I recognize how great God is, and my position before Him, then I\u2019m going to treat Robyn\u2014I\u2019m going to put her <em>before<\/em> myself\u2014I\u2019m going to want to seek <em>her<\/em> needs before I seek my own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis next word is very, very close to it; it\u2019s the word, \u201cmeekness<em>.<\/em>\u201dThey\u2019re like cousins. I don\u2019t know if I can get both of these on here\u2014maybe not\u2014I\u2019ll just keep meekness here. Meekness is also recognizing who you are, but choosing to humble yourself. It\u2019s power under control; I\u2019m sure some of you have heard that before. It\u2019s like walking a humongous dog that is not running away from you. I\u2019ve seen people walk their dogs, and then I\u2019ve seen dogs walk their\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014people. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMeekness is that humongous dog, who is under control. We\u2019re to put on meekness: you\u2019re not always pushing for your rights; you\u2019re not always pushing for your way, but you\u2019re <em>preferring<\/em> your spouse above yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> With humility and meekness, you will <em>serve<\/em> your spouse differently. Your service to your spouse is different, and the world will take note. Another thing, and I was praying I didn\u2019t get this word, but when you look in Scripture, you see it over and over\u2014I\u2019m still working on this one in my life\u2014it\u2019s important that you put on patience. Patience is just self-restraint; it\u2019s self-restraint. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s every time I go to Chick-fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> to pick up a child\u2014they tell me they get off at seven\u2014and I\u2019m there at seven, waiting, waiting, waiting. They don\u2019t realize that my time is important; so I\u2019m like, \u201cLord, what can I do for this time?\u201d That\u2019s my time to memorize Scripture; to do something so that, when that child gets in the car, I can encourage <em>them<\/em>. Patience is waiting with restraint.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And we have to realize we need to have patience with our spouse, because we\u2019re a work in progress.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I mean, we\u2019re not done; we\u2019re not finished; we\u2019re not who we should be; and we\u2019re not who we will be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And we\u2019re not who we can be, so we need to have that patience with one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. So the next thing that the Lord tells us to put on is to bear with one another\/bearing with one another. That means\u2014and it doesn\u2019t just mean: \u201cI\u2019ll put up with you; because I\u2019ve got you\/I\u2019m stuck with you,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s bearing with them. It\u2019s with all these other attitudes\u2014with the humility, with the kindness, with compassion\u2014but you\u2019re bearing with that person, because you know that they\u2019re God\u2019s child. Because they\u2019re God\u2019s child, I want to serve them with all my heart. I want to make sure that when I bear up under them; I\u2019m helping them to be able to be all that God\u2019s called them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Wow! So we\u2019ve got compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, bearing with one another. Here\u2019s a big one; I would say most people struggle with this one a lot\u2014it\u2019s the idea of forgiving each other\u2014the Bible is so clear about that. I need to wear this one around all day long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Me, too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Forgiveness is the idea of releasing someone from a debt. It\u2019s the idea of, really saying, \u201cI feel like you owe me this, but I forgive you of it. You are indebted to me, but I release you from this.\u201d I don\u2019t remember who said it\u2014but: \u201cGreat marriages\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014\u201care made\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014\u201care made up of great forgivers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, after I apologized for Robyn missing out on the unveiling of this puppy, she didn\u2019t say the words, \u201cI forgive you\u201d; but I knew she did, because she didn\u2019t hold it over my head; we were able to go and enjoy the rest of the day. It\u2019s an attitude of letting go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I can tell you\u2014if you\u2019re struggling with humility, and kindness, and meekness, and patience\u2014you\u2019re not going to be a forgiving person. The Bible is telling us: \u201cPut this on; let this be a garment,\u201d \u201cLet this be a badge to you, that you are forgiving,\u201d \u201cEven if you have a complaint about your spouse, to be able to freely forgive them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And I think some of us may need to ask our spouse: \u201cAm I a great forgiver?\u201d \u201cAm I a <em>good<\/em> forgiver?\u201d Because the person that you\u2019ll have the most problems with is your spouse. If you don\u2019t go and seek forgiveness\u2014and I think that\u2019s something we forget to do; we need to go and seek\u2014and then also grant. If we\u2019re not good forgivers, we have messed-up marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe world is seeking! They want to see what this love\/this unconditional love really looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> You know, Robyn hit on something <em>really<\/em> good; and that\u2019s the fact that our marriages aren\u2019t just for us. People are watching! We <em>represent Him<\/em>; we represent <em>Christ<\/em>. We are a living illustration of God\u2019s relationship to His people; we are that living illustration to the world. If, as a husband and wife, we can\u2019t forgive each other\u2014and I know there are some hurts out there! If you were able to sit across our dinner table, and we were able to share some of those things, I <em>know<\/em> that there are some really significant hurts out there\u2014but I can tell you from experience, there is something freeing\/that frees <em>you<\/em> when you free your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis passage tells us what wraps it all up; it should all be done in love. This is that sacrificial love. This is not the world\u2019s kind of love that says, \u201cI love you when I <em>feel <\/em>like it,\u201d or \u201cIf I have these good feelings about you, then I love you.\u201d No, this is a <em>costly<\/em> love. It\u2019s a love that will lay down and <em>die<\/em> for the other person. It\u2019s a love that will deny myself. I will deny what I feel like [are] my own rights\/what I feel like I should get. I can deny myself of those things\u2014I can bear up under; I can be patient; I can be humble\u2014I can be all of those things because of love\/mainly because I know God loves <em>me<\/em> that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; this is a <em>supernatural<\/em> love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> This is something you aren\u2019t able to do by yourself; but if you understand the love that God has for you\u2014that He gave His Son to die for you, even when you were in sin\/even when you were doing all those things we just took off, and you determined to wear them\u2014God sent His Son for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> It\u2019s important that, if you know Him, and you have a relationship with your spouse, and you want your spouse to show off God\u2019s love, you\u2019ve got to do this. It\u2019s supernatural. The only way you can do this is you lay your life down before Christ every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And that is so true. When you put your feet on the floor in the mornings, just pray, \u201cGod, may I put on the garment of love? \u2018Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And can I just\u2014one of my favorite passages is Romans, Chapter 12. We know Paul wrote Romans; Paul wrote Colossians; Paul wrote Ephesians; and he wrote others\u2014it\u2019s almost some of the same things he\u2019s putting in here\u2014because he wants us to get this! But he says, in Romans 12:9; he says: \u201cLet love be genuine.\u201d He wants your love, not to be fakey; he wants your love to be genuine. He said, \u201cHate what is evil, and then hold fast to what is good.\u201d The only way you can do that is through the supernatural love that the Lord puts <em>on<\/em> you every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And I love the fact that Robyn is using the word, \u201csupernatural,\u201d because you can\u2019t do this in your own strength. I can tell you\u2014when you try to muster it up: \u201cI\u2019m going to do this!\u201d\u2014it\u2019s almost like making a New Year\u2019s resolution. You can\u2019t <em>live <\/em>this way without <em>God\u2019s<\/em> strength.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So we de-throne ourselves\u2014cast aside\/die to ourselves\u2014and we say, \u201cLord, I need Your help. I need Your strength; I want to put off anger; I put off wrath; I put away malice; I put away slander; obscene talk; I put away lying. I don\u2019t want to treat my spouse in that way. I need Your help to put this away.\u201d But what am I going to put on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> You <em>need<\/em> to put on\u2014you <em>need<\/em> to put on compassion\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014and kindness\u2014I\u2019m talking to Ray and me, too; these are things that we have to put on\u2014we need to put on humility, and meekness, and patience. \u201cLord, we need to put on patience!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014and bearing with one another; it\u2019s an attitude of being long-suffering\u2014you bear up under that; you bear with one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And then forgive each other. That\/I think that is one of the things you can do to make sure your own light shines. If you learn how to forgive, then your light shines; because you don\u2019t have all of this stuff that is harboring in your heart. Your heart is free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And let me tell you this, cruise family: \u201cDon\u2019t wait for your spouse to do this.\u201d I can tell you: many a spouse has been won over, because one spouse decided, \u201cThis is the way I\u2019m going to live!\u201d I want to encourage you to put on love as the garment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to have Robyn pray for us, and pray for you, that we can <em>all<\/em> experience this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFather, thank You so much for, first, being who You are. We thank You that You are God, and You know everything; You\u2019ve created everything! And thank You that we get the privilege of being Your hands and feet here on earth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo Father, I have one thing that I would pray for every couple out there\u2014everyone who\u2019s hearing what we just shared\u2014that our lights would so shine before men that they would see our good works and bring glory to You. That\u2019s our prayer. In Jesus\u2019 name, amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening to Ray and Robyn McKelvy. I always love their teaching; I love their hearts; I love their passion for marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ll tell you: as they got into what Paul wrote\u2014as \u201cThis is what you put off; this is what you put on,\u201d\u2014they did a great job, saying, \u201cWe can\u2019t do it apart from the supernatural love and power of God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really what has to happen, I think, every day in a husband and wife\/in a marriage. It\u2019s a daily surrender, saying, \u201cGod, I <em>can\u2019t<\/em> do this in my own strength. If I try, I\u2019m just going to keep failing; but if I surrender to You and allow Your power\/Your Holy Spirit power to give me power, [so] I can be the husband\u201d\/\u201cI can be the wife You call me to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tApart from Him, we can do [nothing]; we can\u2019t put on any of this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What do you think I need to put on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We don\u2019t have that much time. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hang on; I want to hear the rest of this conversation from Dave and Ann Wilson, [Laughter], talking today about putting on kindness, and humility, and compassion, and gentleness, and patience. These are\/I think of these as additional fruit of the Spirit\/things that need to be true about us, as followers of Christ, and need to be true in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would like to hear the entire message from Ray and Robyn McKelvy about putting off the bad and putting on the good, you can download their message from our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Ray and Robyn presented this message on the 2021 <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> virtual cruise. You guys know that we were not able to go out cruising in February this year, as we\u2019ve done for the last decade-plus; but come [2022], Lord willing, we are going to be back <em>on <\/em>the boat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe boat is starting to fill up. If you are interested in joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise in 2022, this is a <em>great<\/em> week to call and secure your cabin. In fact, we\u2019ve got going on right now what we\u2019re calling the Back to Cruising sale. It ends on Monday; so if you\u2019re at all interested in being part of the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2022, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to find out more. We can answer any questions you have. There is information available online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise, Valentine\u2019s week of 2022. Today is the day to sign up and secure your cabin for the cruise. It\u2019s starting to fill up; the last \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t12 cruises we\u2019ve done have all been sold out, so get in touch with us today: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number, or you can get more information online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019re thinking, \u201cMan, we would <em>love<\/em> to go on that cruise. I wish there were some way we could go for free,\u201d\u2014well, for someone, that\u2019s going to be the case; because some <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener is going to be joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2022 as our guests.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you know, our commitment, here, at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families; that\u2019s what the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise is really all about: helping you strengthen your marriage. Our team has just put together something called the \u201cLove You Better Plan,\u201d 30 days to loving your spouse better. This is a free download. Again, all of the information is available on our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com. As soon as you do the download, you\u2019re automatically eligible for the drawing we\u2019re going to do for someone to go on the 2022 <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise as our guests. Download the \u201cLove You Better Plan,\u201d and hope to see you on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in February of 2022.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to explore how important it is for husbands and wives to peel back some of the veneer\/some of the layers that can separate us from one another\u2014to get really honest with each other\u2014and maybe expose some of the hidden parts of our lives with each other. David and Meg Robbins will talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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