{"id":306902,"date":"2021-06-21T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2021-06-21T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/put-away-the-bad\/"},"modified":"2021-06-21T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2021-06-21T11:00:06","slug":"put-away-the-bad","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-away-the-bad\/","title":{"rendered":"Put Away the Bad"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Colossians 3 calls Christians to &#8220;put away&#8221; certain behaviors in order to love others. Ray and Robyn McKelvy explain to us what that looks like when relating to our spouses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-06-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:07","filesize":"23.92M","filesize_raw":"25079521","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2810],"tags":[5344,6982],"podcast_series":[8451],"cwp_profile":[9319],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306902","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-growing-spiritually","tag-biblical-model","tag-practical-scripture-apply-to-marriage","podcast_series-putting-away-and-putting-on","cwp_profile-ray-and-robyn-mckelvy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306902\/put-away-the-bad","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306902\/put-away-the-bad","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2cuoZLmUwi\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-away-the-bad\/\">Put Away the Bad<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/put-away-the-bad\/embed\/#?secret=2cuoZLmUwi\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Put Away the Bad&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2cuoZLmUwi\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Colossians 3 calls Christians to \"put away\" certain behaviors in order to love others. Ray and Robyn McKelvy explain to us what that looks like when relating to our spouses.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-06-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think it would be really interesting if we could like pull back the curtain and see behind the scenes what\u2019s happening\/really happening at a wedding.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know where you\u2019re going with this; because you\u2019re thinking, \u201cIf we could see all the baggage the bride and groom are bringing into this marriage, we would all be scared.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>This is <a id=\"_Hlk71638305\"><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Can you imagine?\u2014a groom comes down the isle; and he\u2019s got three or four bags, and a carry-on, and a backpack\u2014and then the wife is walking down\/the bride, pulling this bag behind her. I mean, it would be\/I mean, it never would happen; but the truth is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you think the bride would have more than the groom or vice versa?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know I had more in our marriage. [Laughter] I brought on a whole airplane cargo section. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here\u2019s the thing: they don\u2019t know it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When you get married, we didn\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, we\u2019re standing there, just smiling, \u201cThis is going to be the best, the easiest, the most wonderful wedding\/marriage in the world,\u201d and we were bringing some stuff. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I think, if we would see all of that, we would be petrified. And yet, in marriage, we\u2019re getting rid of things all the time, like: \u201cOh, I shouldn\u2019t bring that in,\u201d and \u201cI need to get rid of that,\u201d or \u201cI need to put some new things on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think the most important thing is, first of all, you\u2019ve got to identify what bags you\u2019re carrying and bringing. And then, you\u2019ve got to make the intentional choice to say, \u201cOkay, one by one, I\u2019m going to put these away.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we get to hear a message just about that. It was given by Robyn and Ray McKelvy on the FamilyLife <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> virtual cruise, which means we really didn\u2019t get on a boat; we pretended we were on a boat. But the good news is we get to get on a boat in 2022, because we\u2019re going cruising again. The <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise will be happening on the seas, and you can sign up right now. You better sign up, because we\u2019ve got deals going until June 28; so sign up at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey gave a message, not so much about standing at a wedding altar with baggage, but in our walks with God, we all are carrying stuff; and we have to put that off and put on something. They used a clothes analogy\u2014and I tell you what\u2014if anybody can dress, they can dress!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re so fun. I love Ray; I love Robyn. Ray is actually a graduate of Dallas Seminary. He\u2019s a church planter\u2014started two churches\u2014and he\u2019s currently the lead pastor at Christ of the Nations Church in Nashville. We\u2019ve done some speaking with them, because they have been speaking for FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> conferences for over 25 years. They\u2019re really fun! They also do women and men\u2019s retreats; and here\u2019s the thing that\u2019s pretty amazing: they have\u2014you ready?\u2014ten kids!\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014ten kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014two sons-in-law, three grandsons; and they have a house-full.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; they had a great time, probably getting away from some of those kids, to give this message on the virtual cruise. You\u2019re really going to love it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> What we want to talk about is something very practical. It\u2019s called \u201cGetting Dressed\u201d: getting dressed in the morning; all of us get dressed for work; or you get dressed to go workout; you get dressed for bed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Basically, what you\u2019re doing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014or not. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019re taking\u2014[Laughter]\u2014basically, what you\u2019re doing is you\u2019re taking off the stink of the day, and you\u2019re putting on something that\u2019s fresh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> It\u2019s so easy for us to physically do that; we take care of our faces and hair. We do that on purpose so that, when we greet the world, the world is not turned off by us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> What Robyn and I want to talk about today is how to dress for success in your marriage: \u201cHow do you get dressed in such a way of relating to each other that your marriage is successful?\u201d We\u2019re going to look at Colossians, Chapter 3. If you have your Bibles with you\u2014this is a devotional\u2014so grab your Bibles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Turn with us to Colossians, Chapter 3. I\u2019m going to read in verse 8 through verse 13; it says: \u201cBut now, you must put them all away\u2026\u201d\u2014wow! And this is Paul talking to the church; but if we applied this to our lives, our families would look differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe must put them all away\u2014then he tells us what to put away\u2014you must put away \u201canger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator. Here there is not Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God\u2019s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> You know, as Robyn is reading that passage, it reminds me: \u201cYou know, we look at these verses, and the Bible is telling us how to live as believers: what we\u2019re to put off or to take off and what to put on as we relate to each other.\u201d But here\u2019s what I find: a lot of times, as believers, we don\u2019t apply it to our spouse. We look at this and we go, \u201cOh, how can I treat people on the outside?\u201d Often, we treat people on the outside better than we treat the person that I\u2019m committed to\/the wife of my covenant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we want to do now is read this passage one more time. But this time, I don\u2019t want you to think how you can live this on the outside but live this inside your marriage. I want you to have a mind shift\u2014not just: \u201cHow do I live this in front of my church friends? How do I live this in front of those on the outside?\u201d\u2014but: \u201cHow do I live this way in front of my spouse?\u201d Let\u2019s have a mindset change as we read this: \u201cBut now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self and its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator. Here there is not Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God\u2019s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s jump in into the specifics.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay, what we\u2019d like for you to imagine with us is, when you get dressed in the morning, there are some things that you take off. They\u2019re usually dirty things, and then there\u2019s some things you put on. We\u2019re going to relate this to the things that we need to take off, as believers, to let our light shine, even in front of our spouse. Make sure that you understand \u201cput off\u201d\u2014when we talk about this\u2014\u201cput off\u201d is that you take it off; you cast it off; you take it off like it\u2019s a bunch of dirty clothes. I\u2019m going to tell you: I know all about dirty clothes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to interrupt, Robyn; because this is so good\/this idea of casting off. When it says to \u201cput away from you,\u201d it is that idea: \u201cYou take it off; it\u2019s a dirty garment; you throw it away.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Romans 13, it says to \u201c\u2026cast off\u201d\u2014it uses that same word\u2014\u201ccast off the works of darkness\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEphesians 4, \u201c\u2026take off your old self\u2026\u201d or \u201c\u2026put away the old self\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEphesians 4:25, \u201c\u2026put away falsehood...\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, all of these things just remind us: \u201cThis is something that is dirty,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a dirty piece of clothing, and you want to take it off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay; I\u2019m going to get back to me doing laundry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> True.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Because over the years, I\u2019ve done tens of thousands of loads. I usually do at least\u2014even now, when our house is down to just four of us\u2014between sheets and towels and everything, I\u2019m still doing ten loads of laundry every week. I do my son\u2014he\u2019s 12 years old\u2014and I love him to death, but I <em>hate<\/em> this part about him. My wonderful son\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That\u2019s a strong word. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay, well, I do. I\u2019m telling you\u2014my wonderful son\u2014I fold up all his clothes and I put them on his bed. There\u2019s so many times that he gets the clean clothes mixed in with the dirty clothes. The only way for me to tell the clean clothes from the dirty clothes is to smell them. I\u2019m going to tell you one thing: \u201cIt is not a pleasant smell; okay? When you have dirty things on, you are not pleasant.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to get to: \u201cWhat are some of the things that we must\/absolutely must take off?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> The first one we\u2019re going to talk about is anger. The Bible says: \u201cI want you to cast off this anger.\u201d This anger has to do with the simmering\u2014the kind of anger that you stew over; you may not have even expressed it; you haven\u2019t said it to your spouse\u2014but it\u2019s something that you\u2019re holding onto. It\u2019s the idea of resentment: of being angry in the sense of that, even when your spouse hasn\u2019t done anything necessarily wrong, if they just do a small thing\u2014because you\u2019ve not dealt with that anger, and it\u2019s been simmering on the inside\u2014you just have this bitterness and resentment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible tells us to take this off; and so this anger, you\u2019ve got to get rid of it. You don\u2019t keep it with you, so you take it off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> The next thing that we\u2019re going to talk about is wrath. It is similar to anger, but it\u2019s different. Wrath is the kind of anger that is built up\u2014it\u2019s like you keep thinking about it; it\u2019s like a simmering pot\u2014you know, when you boil your water for your tea, you let that pot simmer, and simmer, and simmer; and then it boils over. That\u2019s what wrath does; it takes on an explosion: this is yelling, name calling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s something that you have to do when it comes to wrath. What do you have to do, Ray?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>[Laughter] Well, before I mention this part of wrath, I think about\u2014now, we didn\u2019t discuss this\u2014but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s alright; tell it all. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014but that first type of anger that I said to put off, I struggle with that <em>more<\/em>. I struggle more with that internal anger that, I mean, it just simmers there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut this wrath, that\u2019s more explosive\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Oh, I guess confession is good for the soul. You\u2019re telling all our business today. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So in this devotional, what we do, we take <em>off<\/em> the wrath. I mean, you don\u2019t keep it on: you get rid of it; you throw it away like it\u2019s dirty laundry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> And one of the things\u2014sometimes, people have to tell you you\u2019re stinky\u2014so if your husband comes up to you and tells you that you have this explosive anger, don\u2019t go raging or wrath-ing on him. Make sure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> [Laughter]\u2014\u201cwrath-ing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwrath-ing\u201d\u2014I made up a word. Make sure you take it to heart. He\u2019s telling you because, when it comes to husband and wife, you want each other to look more like Christ. Christ is telling us: \u201cPut these things off,\u201d \u201cTake them off,\u201d \u201cThrow them away,\u201d \u201cThey\u2019re dirty laundry; they make you stink.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So it\u2019s: \u201canger,\u201d \u201cwrath\u201d; and then it uses this word, \u201cmalice.\u201d It\u2019s not hard to describe, but it\u2019s the idea that malice is the foundation of all this anger\u2014it is actually the <em>desire<\/em> to get even; it\u2019s the <em>desire<\/em> to get back\u2014it\u2019s the desire that drives all of this. He\u2019s saying, not only, \u201cI want you to get rid of the foundation of all that anger.\u201d It\u2019s\/it\u2019s almost like we live in a time, where we believe we have so many rights. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know about you guys\u2014it\u2019s good to be on this virtual cruise\u2014because I need a vacation from all of the issues that are happening in our world. It\u2019s, so often, we are experiencing anger, wrath, and malice\u2014in our culture, in our politics, in our wearing of masks or not wearing a mask\u2014in our relationship with each other. It\u2019s interesting to me that the foundation of all of this is malice: it\u2019s that idea of a desire to hurt someone, a desire to get back\/to get even. The Bible is telling us that: you need to get rid of it; don\u2019t let it hang out with you; you get rid of this malice; cast it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Take it off; take it off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Take it off; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first three that we just talked about\u2014which, whew!\u2014by the way guys, I\u2019m glad to get rid of all that; I feel so much lighter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Yes, you do. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> And I\u2019m not as hot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese first three attitudes had to do with bitterness and resentment. A lot of it is expressed, though, in what we <em>say<\/em>. I\u2019m going to let Robyn start us on that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Okay; and then the other things that the Bible tells us to take off begins with slander. A lot of times, we want to be able to say that slander is asking for a prayer request. But we\u2019re really not asking for a prayer request; we\u2019re talking bad about someone. That\u2019s slander\u2014talking evil about your spouse to other people\u2014and God is telling us to take it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important that the evil\u2014this is the part that <em>used<\/em> to be who you were\u2014God is saying we\u2019re no longer <em>that<\/em> person. We\u2019re no longer who we <em>used<\/em> to be; we\u2019re new creatures, so slander <em>has<\/em> to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Let\u2019s keep that on just for a second, because I just had a thought: \u201cWho is the father of slander?\u201d Because the Bible talks about how Satan is the <em>accuser<\/em> of the brethren\/that he\u2019s a <em>slanderer<\/em>. Sometimes, a slanderer is the one who whispers lies in our ears and slandering our spouse\u2014which I don\u2019t know if we know that we do that\u2014but to slander our spouse, we\u2019re calling them names. We are sharing information about them that would make them look bad or to hurt them. Anyway, I just thought I\u2019d throw that in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> So with slander, we have to take it off. I want to get rid of some of these clothes, too; [Laughter] but we\u2019ve got to take it off! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next one that the Bible says that we need to get rid of is obscene talk. We all know what this is. This is that filthy language: it\u2019s shameful; it\u2019s abrasive; it\u2019s calling names, sometimes, where we\u2019re just\/and we\u2019re belittling our spouse. It\u2019s easy for us to do that; but the Bible tells us that\u2019s who we <em>used<\/em> to be and, now, we\u2019re <em>new<\/em>; so we\u2019ve got to take <em>off<\/em> this obscene language that we have between each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt also says that we need to have language that builds the other up, that our language should be filled with grace so that those that hear it are renewed. That\u2019s the kind of language that God is telling us to put on. This obscene language is who we <em>used<\/em> to be before we knew Christ; He\u2019s telling us, also, to take it off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014to take it off. As we think about all this: there\u2019s anger; wrath; malice; slander; obscene talk, which is shameful; and there\u2019s one that we\u2019re missing though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> Honesty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> We need to take off this [lying]. Boy, I tell you\u2014in several passages in God\u2019s Word\u2014He tells us to be people who are honest with one another\/to not lie. It\u2019s so easy for the father of lies to tell us to use the lies: \u201cIt won\u2019t hurt anybody,\u201d but it does; it hurts your relationship. It\u2019s important that you not lie, and this is one of the things that the Bible says that we need to put off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe tells us to be characterized by truth. The only way to do that is you take off the lies. Ephesians 4\u2014now Ray studied this in Colossians, and I studied it in Ephesians\u2014but Ephesians 4:25 says the same thing: \u201cTherefore, having put away falsehood,\u201d\u2014or lies\u2014\"let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s your family\u2014\"we are members one of another.\u201d We need to put away or take it off\u2014these falsehoods.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So fellow cruisers, I mean, before you can get dressed with what is right, the Bible is telling us what to put off. I think this is so convicting in my own life, with my relationship with Robyn, that you know what? When I wake up in the morning, or as I\u2019m going through the day, that in my own natural flesh, I\u2019m wanting to\u2014there might be some ways in which she hurt me or that I hurt her\u2014and we\u2019re commanded that: you put away that anger that simmers; you put away that wrath that explodes; you put away that malice that really demands its rights and wants to get even; you put away that slanderous talk, where really, you\u2019re trying to make your spouse look bad to other people; you put away that obscene talk\/calling names\u2014I don\u2019t know; you guys can fill in the blanks there\u2014and then to put away lying\/to be honest people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s not all. I don\u2019t\/if we were to end there, that would just be <em>half<\/em> the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robyn:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I think, so many times in our marriages, we just want to know: \u201cWhat do I need to <em>stop<\/em> doing? Just give me a list of what I shouldn\u2019t do.\u201d But that\u2019s only half the story. I love the fact that there are things that we are to put on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So we\u2019ve been listening to Ray and Robyn McKelvy\/the message they gave on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> virtual cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a devotional; isn\u2019t that good. That\u2019d be a great way to start your day\/to have a devotional with Ray and Robyn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I think it\u2019s only halfway done. As they said, it\u2019s like: \u201cThis is what we put off,\u201d\u2014which, by the way, I don\u2019t know if I can do that\u2014you know, when you\u2019re stuck in anger or you\u2019re just in the grip, it\u2019s like we need Part Two of this message; because we don\u2019t have the power to put it off,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cWhat do we put on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was going to say: \u201cWhat do we put on?\u201d because that\u2019s what we need to hear. If we could apply these truths\/these biblical truths to our marriages, it would really change things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is so critical for us to identify the things that need to be put off. But as Dave and Ann Wilson just said\u2014not to focus exclusively on what we\u2019re putting off\u2014but also what we\u2019re putting on. If all you do is put things off, you leave yourself exposed. We\u2019ve got to put on godly character and godly virtues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear more on this from Ray and Robyn McKelvy in Part Two of this message. In the meantime, if you\u2019d like to hear the entire message, it\u2019s available online at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can download it from our website. This is a message that Ray and Robyn shared as part of the 2021 FamilyLife <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> virtual cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut guess what? Next February, the cruise is not going to be virtual; it\u2019s going to be live and in person. We are really excited as we plan ahead for the 2022 cruise. In fact, right now, we\u2019re in the middle of a Back to Cruising special event for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We have dropped the prices on our cruise cabins to the lowest price they will be this year. If you are interested in joining us on the cruise in 2022, now is the time to call and reserve your cabin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last 15 months have been hard on all of us; the cruise gives you a chance to reconnect and to realign with God and with one another. And I should just mention, these cruises in past years have sold out; so if you are interested in being on the 2022 cruise, this is the week to call and reserve your cabin. You can call 1-800-FL-TODAY if you need more information; it\u2019s available online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, the number to call is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, speaking of the cruise, somebody over the next 30 days is going to win a free cabin on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. Somebody is going for free in February, and it could be you. Let me tell you how this works. Our team has put together something called the \u201cLove You Better Plan.\u201d This is 30 days to help each one of us love one another better in marriage\u2014pretty simple; it\u2019s a downloadable PDF\u2014there are suggestions and tips on how we can do a better job of loving one another in marriage. Everybody who downloads the \u201cLove You Better Plan\u201d is going to be instantly entered in a drawing we\u2019ll be doing. And like I said, somebody is going to win a cabin on the cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what you do: you download the \u201cLove You Better Plan\u201d\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com and download it\u2014when you do, you are instantly\/automatically eligible to win a cabin on the cruise; there is no purchase necessary. All of the information about the contest is available online. Find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Ray and Robyn McKelvy about the things we need to be putting on. If we\u2019re going to put off anger, and wrath, and malice and all the rest, what should we be putting on? We\u2019ll hear about that tomorrow. We hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306902"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306902"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306902"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306902"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}