{"id":306843,"date":"2021-05-15T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-05-15T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/parenting-influence-2\/"},"modified":"2021-05-15T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-05-15T11:00:05","slug":"parenting-influence-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parenting-influence-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting Influence"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As parents, our job is to make sure our children grow into responsible adults. Dru Joyce II and Ron Deal share different character traits to instill in your children and some helpful ways to teach them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2021-05-15.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883102","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2837],"tags":[2209],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3060,3300],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-306843","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-character-development","category-fathers","tag-parenting","cwp_profile-dru-joyce-ii","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306843\/parenting-influence-2","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306843\/parenting-influence-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"i1XegTsu7A\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parenting-influence-2\/\">Parenting Influence<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parenting-influence-2\/embed\/#?secret=i1XegTsu7A\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Parenting Influence&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"i1XegTsu7A\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2021-05-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2021-05-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When you are faced with a difficult decision\/a leap of faith, do you let your kids in on the details? Ron Deal says that\u2019s one of the <em>best<\/em> things that a parent can do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That is a <em>huge<\/em> testimony to how faith connects to life in a very real way. Then, everybody is on board that there are risks involved; everybody is on board that there is a trust in God that\u2019s involved in this and that we\u2019re figuring it out as we go: \u201cThere is no map; we just know the next step in front of us, and we\u2019re walking with God.\u201d That leaves an impression. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Transparent parenting\u2014that\u2019s tough\u2014so is leading your family spiritually. We\u2019re going to talk about being a role model to your kids on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I\u2019m Michelle Hill. We\u2019ve been talking a lot about parenting this last month. We\u2019ve been talking about how to form character in our kids, how to nurture identity, helping them through tough transitions; and last week, we even talked about the significance of singing with our kids. Parents have a lot of influence in their kids\u2019 lives. Sometimes, it\u2019s not just the: \u201cDo this,\u201d and \u201cDon\u2019t do that\u201d; but it\u2019s the leading by example that speaks volumes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy friend and colleague, Ron Deal, joins me today. Ron is the director of our stepfamily ministry here called FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He also has over 25 years in family counseling. Ron and his wife Nan have three boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon, it is always a treat to have you on the weekend show; so thanks for joining me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Well, thank you, Michelle. I enjoy working with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I usually have you on around the topic of stepfamily, and we\u2019ll touch on that a little bit later on today; but I wanted to talk about how parents influence their kids in several key areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you follow basketball at all? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you know the name LeBron James. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, I do. [Laughter] Anybody who knows basketball knows that name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And probably anybody who <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> know basketball\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014knows that name. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, there was a man, who was his very first basketball coach by the name of Dru Joyce. Dru had considerable influence in LeBron\u2019s life and, actually, in the lives of many other young men; he was a role model. He built his basketball program around seven key values. He just breathed life into the young men that he worked with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned to you I wanted to play an audio clip of an interview that Dru Joyce had with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine; then we\u2019re going to talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So here\u2019s Dru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Broadcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> Let me say it this way\u2014when I became the head coach at St. Vincent-St. Mary, I was reading to try to become the best coach I could be. I was reading a basketball publication\u2014I can\u2019t even remember the name of it\u2014it was a Christian man, who\u2019d written an article. He\u2019s from a small college in the Northwest\u2014I don\u2019t even remember the name\u2014but what he said in that article really resonated with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had seven principles that he founded his program on: they were unity, discipline, thankfulness, servant-hood, integrity, passion, and the seventh is humility. He talked about those seven principles. I said, \u201cWow, he\u2019s talking to me!\u201d That\u2019s what I wanted to found my program around. If I can get a young man, who comes in the door as a freshman, to become those seven characteristics\/come to accept those values, then I feel like I\u2019ve made an impact:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they can understand that they are part of something bigger than themselves,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they have humility to recognize that their talents are God-given and the fame is man-given. As Coach John Wooden would say, \u201cConceit is self-given. Be careful.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they need to have discipline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they need to be thankful for all the things they\u2019ve been given. Sometimes, the kids today\/they have an attitude of entitlement, especially young men, who feel like they\u2019re great at something. I want them to understand: \u201cYou need to be thankful just that you have the opportunity to play this game, let alone to be good at it,\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they need to serve one another. They say, \u201cHow do you serve?\u201d I tell my guys, as they\u2019re going out onto the court, \u201cAnyone can be great; all you have to do is serve.\u201d I tell them, before they go out: \u201cBe great today; serve your teammates.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they have some integrity about themselves\u2014not only that they talk the talk, but they walk the walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that they have passion. I think that so many things in life we just go through passionless; there\u2019s no fire about it. You need to have some fire about whatever it is you\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m hoping, in three years\u2014if I can have a young man understand and inherit those characteristics\u2014then maybe, just maybe, we have done something right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Dru Joyce talking about the seven key principles that he founded his basketball program on and how he mentored many young men. Do you remember them, Ron? I\u2019m giving you a quiz here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; let me see what I get: passion, have discipline, humility, serve\u2014yes, I lost the other ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Integrity, thankfulness. Is there one of those seven key elements that sort of rise to the top? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow! You know, I think in my role, as a dad, I want to do all of those and more; right? I don\u2019t know that necessarily that one rises to the top <em>over<\/em> the others in terms of its importance. I think to create well-rounded kids or that become well-rounded adults, we want to try to put as many of those in them as we can. I\u2019m attracted to the one about humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a hard one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It is. By the way, it\u2019s kind of paradoxical\u2014as a parent, or leader, or mentor\/whatever your role is with a child\u2014it\u2019s to display humility; because I think we get caught up, as parents, in that idea of being the authority as if being the authority means we have the final say: \u201cWe talk; you listen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Somehow, that means we can\u2019t come off the high authority throne and come down and be real with our children. I think being humble about who we are, and real, and vulnerable with our children teaches them so much; because what it does is\u2014it says: \u201cI need God,\u201d \u201cI need His presence in my life,\u201d \u201cI have more to learn,\u201d I make mistakes; I can own my mistakes,\u201d\u2014what that says is we are all in process, and we all need God, [and] we all need forgiveness. That shows our children how to do the same thing in their lives\u2014how to admit their faults\u2014and not feel like: \u201cOh, I made a mistake; therefore, I\u2019m bad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>See, when I say, \u201cI made a mistake; I\u2019m learning,\u201d I\u2019m demonstrating to my children that I don\u2019t have to be ashamed of every mistake that I make\/that, somehow, who I am is not a result of what I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I also want to clarify; because I\u2019m sitting here, going, \u201cThis isn\u2019t something that you\u2019re just living in front of your kids. You\u2019re\/this is your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, yes; it better be real. If it\u2019s not genuine\u2014it\u2019s not: \u201cI\u2019m just doing this for show so my kids will pick up on it, and I\u2019ll hope they\u2019ll learn a lesson from it,\u201d\u2014no, no, no\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cI just need to live this way genuinely before the Lord and in life.\u201d Then they will witness that; and that is what will help it stick, I think, for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> One other point that Dru had made was the discipline. I have watched a lot of people\u2014I don\u2019t have kids; I\u2019m not married; don\u2019t have kids\u2014but I have watched a lot of people just discipline their kids the behavior modification route. When you bring discipline in, are we talking about punishment; or are we talking about something else? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How big\/is there a broader scope of discipline? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, we have problems with this word, \u201cdiscipline\u201d; it means so many things. Dru might have been referring to discipline as in a work ethic on the basketball court: \u201cYou work hard,\u201d \u201cYou learn your craft,\u201d \u201cYou apply yourself toward the skill of basketball,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cgaining discipline\/have discipline as you play the game.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is something we want to teach our kids: \u201c Have discipline in how you do your schoolwork,\u201d and \u201c\u2026how you go about the activities you are involved in,\u201d and \u201c\u2026applying yourself toward college,\u201d\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then there are the other meanings of the word, \u201cdiscipline.\u201d We often say \u201cdiscipline\u201d when we mean \u201cpunishment,\u201d\u2014like, the verb, discipline\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re going to discipline our children.\u201d Really, what we mean there is: \u201cApply a consequence, some sort of punishment, some sort of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014sting; because we\u2019re trying to shape their behavior and their character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the broad word, \u201cdiscipline,\u201d comes from \u201cdisciple,\u201d from a biblical standpoint. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It\u2019s really about growing as a follower of Jesus Christ. The big picture in parenting is: \u201cYes, we\u2019re trying to shape our children to be more like Jesus: to embrace who He was, and adopt His way of life, and believe and trust on Him.\u201d Sometimes, we have to get out the verb, discipline\/punishment, in order to shape their behavior\u2014right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and try to modify that a little bit. We\u2019re not just going, Michelle, for behavior modification; we\u2019re going for <em>heart<\/em> modification. We should always be aware that: \u201cYes, we are changing the outside, but we are also trying to change the inside,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cnot just the outside.\u201d Sometimes, parents just clamp down on external behavior\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and don\u2019t ever shape the internal. If we\u2019re doing both external and internal shaping, we are doing discipleship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in disciplining, where is it that parents usually blow it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow! Good question. I think for some, it is a focus on the external behavior\/just the externals. For example, one of the big conversations we have around corporeal punishment and spanking\u2014I am quick to say, \u201cWe spanked our kids,\u201d\u2014but we did it very little. We saved it for when we needed it; because I\u2019m well aware that spanking changes external behavior quickly, but doesn\u2019t do anything, necessarily, to change the heart; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s\/if you\u2019re just focused on changing the externals, you can get that done: you can be angry and get that done; you can be overbearing and get that done\u2014and all you will do is alienate your children from your heart, and from your belief system, from your values\u2014because, soon, they are like: \u201cI don\u2019t want anything that matters to you; because if that\u2019s who you are because of that, I don\u2019t want any part of it.\u201d We can undo ourselves by focusing too much on the externals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, I think another thing that people do is: the other extreme is getting passive as parents\u2014often, it\u2019s\/we feel sorry for our kids; or we want to be their best friend; we don\u2019t ever want to be, you know, somebody that they view as against them\u2014as if, somehow, punishment is against your child; it\u2019s <em>for<\/em> your child\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s [not] either being too strict or being too soft. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How do we move from being too soft? I mean, what are some of those steps from being passive to being more of an active, really, role model in influencing our kids for the better? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know what I find, with a lot of people, who are passive?\u2014is they do know better. They can even articulate: \u201cYes, I know; I went soft on that,\u201d \u201cYes, I know I said you were grounded for three days, and I let him out in an hour,\u201d \u201cYes, I know I should have said something about that, but I just\/I thought I\u2019d let it go.\u201d They know better than they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they have to do is ask themselves: \u201cWhy don\u2019t I follow through? What keeps me from doing what I know?\u201d Often, it\u2019s some sort of anxiety or fear: \u201cI have a concern; I don\u2019t want to alienate my child. I don\u2019t want to be like my dad, who went over the top; and he got angry. I was always afraid of him. I don\u2019t want to be that guy, and I do nothing,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know what it is.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be as different as many of individuals that practice that; but they need to ask themselves: \u201cWhat holds me back?\u201d \u201cWhat do I do now with that fear?\u201d\u2014\u201cI have to walk through it; otherwise, I will continue to be paralyzed and passive. That\u2019s not serving my child well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Great points, Ron. We\u2019re going to actually hear more from you and, also, from Dru Joyce when we come back from the break. To start off our break, actually, is Ron Deal\u2019s FamilyLife Blended. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Great; let\u2019s hear it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I\u2019m Michelle Hill. I am here in the studio with Ron Deal. Welcome back, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Thanks for joining me. You are\u2014what?\u2014a new author <em>again<\/em>?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; book number six, <em>Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Very cool. What sets this apart from <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, which is one of your books? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. This is a devotional book for couples, 365-devotionals that take a minute or less. If you don\u2019t have a minute,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014a minute or less\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014you are way too busy\u2014one minute or less. Couples can read this, close with a little prayer, and just get centered on what will move their family forward over time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s very cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019re excited. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Congratulations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been talking about parenting and about being role models. We heard a clip earlier from Dru Joyce. Well, we have another clip from Dru Joyce, and it\u2019s about a significant time in his life when he had to lead his family and listen to where God was really taking him. He had to make a significant choice; it took a big step of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s Dru answering Dennis Rainey\u2019s most famous question; and that is, \u201cWhat\u2019s the most courageous thing you\u2019ve ever done?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> The most courageous thing that I\u2019ve done\u2014and I say <em>I<\/em>; but it\u2019s really <em>we<\/em>, my wife and I\u2014is after that championship year. I had been in corporate America for 25 years. My company tolerated\u2014they didn\u2019t like the fact that I was a high school basketball coach\u2014because I was doing it after hours; I wasn\u2019t missing work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So you coached the national championship, part time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> Yes; yes. So after that, they kind of put me out to pasture. I was calling on a major account in the Midwest\u2014$15 million account\u2014they were going to move me to an account in New York that had been in bankruptcy twice. I kind of got the message that: \u201cYou need to focus on something else.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that time, my youngest son was just about to enter high school. When they offered me to take the job to go into New York\u2014drive up to Syracuse, New York, from Akron once a week\u2014I said, \u201cYes.\u201d I left that meeting, and I called my wife; I said, \u201cMy mouth said, \u2018Yes\u2019; but my heart\u2019s saying, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d I went home, and we talked about it. Honestly, we cried about it and decided that\u2014[emotional] excuse me\u2014that my heart wasn\u2019t in it anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of my day, I\u2019d always ask myself from that sales job\u2014and I was very appreciative of what it had afforded my family\u2014but I had to ask myself, \u201cWhat have I done that really mattered?\u201d But when I got to that basketball court and that gym with those guys, I just knew that was where I was supposed to be. As I said, we cried about it. I woke up the next morning and I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to leave.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re Christians. We always say we believe in God, but it was kind of easy to believe in God\u2014I had a paycheck every other week and a secure job, and I\u2019m living a very nice existence\u2014but I said that I wanted to do this, so we started our faith walk. We walked away from a job in corporate America. I had no clue what I was going to do. We still had a house note; we had a young son, who was just a freshman in high school; my son, Dru, was a freshman, just finishing his freshman year in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think there\u2019s enough time to share; but God really impacted that decision, and He honored it. We recognize now\u2014my wife and I\u2014what savings are about. I did get a buy-out from the company; I was very thankful for that; it helped us through nine months. We lost some money, trying to do different things that first year, and trying to figure out where to go, and what I was going to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver time, though, the Lord gave me an opportunity to build the business that I\u2019ve now built around basketball. He\u2019s blessed it beyond my wildest dreams. Like this year, there will be over 600 teams that we\u2019re bringing to Akron for a travel team tournament. This will generate something like $4 million for the Akron\/greater Akron community over the weekend. It affords my wife and me our livelihood for a year. I\u2019m able to coach and do what I believe God has purposed me to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Dru Joyce answering the question\/Dennis Rainey\u2019s favorite question; that is, \u201cWhat is the most courageous thing you\u2019ve ever done?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019re talking about mentoring and parenting by example, I can\u2019t help but wonder what Dru\u2019s freshman son thought of his dad taking this humongous, big leap of faith. Obviously\u2014just as you and I have talked about today, Ron\u2014is that our kids are watching us; they are watching us and what we do. They are modeling our behavior. Taking a big leap of faith like that, it\u2019s got to have some risks involved to our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, it does; but they are watching, and they are seeing faith in action. In FamilyLife\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video curriculum, I make the comment that part of our job, as parents, is to connect faith to life. We make a big mistake when we live our faith, but don\u2019t make obvious connections in front of our kids about how that impacts how we live; because otherwise, faith is something you do on Sunday morning, and then you leave it there, and you go home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut for him\u2014and I don\u2019t know if Dru did this or not\u2014but for him to talk out loud in his home, not only with his wife as they are trying to make decisions; but once they have made those decisions, in front of his kids\u2014\u201cNow, kids, this is what we\u2019re going to do. We\u2019re trusting the Lord, and this is what it is\u2014here is what we thought through about\u2014and here is why we decided to do what we\u2019re doing. Here\u2019s the faith we\u2019re putting in God about this choice.\u201d That is a <em>huge<\/em> testimony to how faith connects to life in a very real way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen everybody is on board that there are risks involved; everybody is on board that there is a trust in God that\u2019s involved in this, and that we\u2019re figuring it out as we go; and there is no map. I mean, that\u2019s what trust is: \u201cThere is no map; we just know the next step in front of us, and we\u2019re walking with God.\u201d That leads an impression; right? I mean, that sort of thing, over time, witnessed by children has to show them that: \u201cNot only is faith a real thing, but it\u2019s real to my parents. That helps me know what I am choosing if I decide to make it real to me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it feels a lot like what we talked about before the break, and that was humility\u2014living out humility\u2014because that\u2019s what you are doing: is you are living out that humility in faith and in trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, and I would say we\u2019re picking up some of those other qualities: passion\/he\u2019s showing that he has passion for the Lord, and the trust that he has in that, and passion for what he wants to do and the dreams that he has for this new career; right? He showing discipline in how they are going about it. He is demonstrating how they\u2019ve counted the cost in the steps that they are taking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, a number of those character qualities are imbedded in this whole journey that the family gets to do together; and the kids get to be eye-witnesses to it. That\u2019s what is so powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What is something courageous that you\u2019ve done that your kids have learned from? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh! First of all, I would say being a parent, just in general, is one of the most courageous things I think any of us could do. The idea that this little soul is depending on me ought to frighten every one of us; alright? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Living that life courageously is sobering, but it\u2019s also a privilege. I think one specific thing that I\u2019ve done is walk through some painful, challenging times in our family\u2019s life, and tried to live it in a very real and genuine way in front of my children, and invite them into that journey with me. I think times of pain, and heartache, and discouragement when you question God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014to live that out in front of your children in a way that shows how you are; and at the same time, pursuing God, even in your doubts\u2014that takes a lot of courage; because there is this little fear in the back of your mind that says, \u201cWhat if they pick up more on my doubt than they do on my faith?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I hear \u201ctransparency.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> A big\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014portion of parenting is being transparent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to put your ego aside. You\u2019ve got to say, \u201cNope! This is real. I\u2019m not perfect, and I don\u2019t want my kids thinking I\u2019m perfect. I better show them I\u2019m imperfect: \u2018I have doubt,\u2019 and \u2018I struggle in temptation and sin and make mistakes,\u2019 and \u2018I learn. I fall on the grace of God, just like you are ten-year-old.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean, that\u2019s the cycle of life; right? I mean, we,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014as parents, we are living that out with our God and with each other. Then our kids are rippling that right back with us. In some strange way, we are representing God to them. If we\u2019re not real about ourselves in that capacity, then we become somebody impossible for our children to relate to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron:<\/strong> We don\u2019t want that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, Ron, I hate to say this; but we have come to the end of our time\/our allotted time today, but I have so enjoyed having you on and talking about parenting and helping us through just how to be a role model to our kids and how important that is and significant that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll have you on very soon to talk about your latest book, <em>The Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily<\/em>; and of course, people can go to your website, FamilyLifeBlended.com. Hey, also, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com, for more information on the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, which is FamilyLife\u2019s latest resource for parents on how to help you parent. It\u2019s actually one of the biggest initiatives that FamilyLife has had in quite a while. If you\u2019re struggling in parenting, or you have parenting down, it\u2019s going to be a <em>great<\/em> resource. Check it out: FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, next week, we\u2019re going to talk about working moms. I\u2019m going to pick the brain of my good friend, Tracy Lane. I hope you can join us for that. Thanks to Dru Joyce. Thanks also to our president, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d today to our engineer, Keith Lynch; and thanks to our producers, Phil Krause and Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883102"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306843.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306843.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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parents, our job is to make sure our children grow into responsible adults. Dru Joyce II and Ron Deal share different character traits to instill in your children and some helpful ways to teach them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2021-05-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When you are faced with a difficult decision\/a leap of faith, do you let your kids in on the details? Ron Deal says that\u2019s one of the <em>best<\/em> things that a parent can do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That is a <em>huge<\/em> testimony to how faith connects to life in a very real way. Then, everybody is on board that there are risks involved; everybody is on board that there is a trust in God that\u2019s involved in this and that we\u2019re figuring it out as we go: \u201cThere is no map; we just know the next step in front of us, and we\u2019re walking with God.\u201d That leaves an impression. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Transparent parenting\u2014that\u2019s tough\u2014so is leading your family spiritually. We\u2019re going to talk about being a role model to your kids on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I\u2019m Michelle Hill. We\u2019ve been talking a lot about parenting this last month. We\u2019ve been talking about how to form character in our kids, how to nurture identity, helping them through tough transitions; and last week, we even talked about the significance of singing with our kids. Parents have a lot of influence in their kids\u2019 lives. Sometimes, it\u2019s not just the: \u201cDo this,\u201d and \u201cDon\u2019t do that\u201d; but it\u2019s the leading by example that speaks volumes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy friend and colleague, Ron Deal, joins me today. Ron is the director of our stepfamily ministry here called FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He also has over 25 years in family counseling. Ron and his wife Nan have three boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon, it is always a treat to have you on the weekend show; so thanks for joining me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Well, thank you, Michelle. I enjoy working with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I usually have you on around the topic of stepfamily, and we\u2019ll touch on that a little bit later on today; but I wanted to talk about how parents influence their kids in several key areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you follow basketball at all? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you know the name LeBron James. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, I do. [Laughter] Anybody who knows basketball knows that name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And probably anybody who <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> know basketball\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014knows that name. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, there was a man, who was his very first basketball coach by the name of Dru Joyce. Dru had considerable influence in LeBron\u2019s life and, actually, in the lives of many other young men; he was a role model. He built his basketball program around seven key values. He just breathed life into the young men that he worked with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned to you I wanted to play an audio clip of an interview that Dru Joyce had with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine; then we\u2019re going to talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So here\u2019s Dru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Broadcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> Let me say it this way\u2014when I became the head coach at St. Vincent-St. Mary, I was reading to try to become the best coach I could be. I was reading a basketball publication\u2014I can\u2019t even remember the name of it\u2014it was a Christian man, who\u2019d written an article. He\u2019s from a small college in the Northwest\u2014I don\u2019t even remember the name\u2014but what he said in that article really resonated with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had seven principles that he founded his program on: they were unity, discipline, thankfulness, servant-hood, integrity, passion, and the seventh is humility. He talked about those seven principles. I said, \u201cWow, he\u2019s talking to me!\u201d That\u2019s what I wanted to found my program around. If I can get a young man, who comes in the door as a freshman, to become those seven characteristics\/come to accept those values, then I feel like I\u2019ve made an impact:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they can understand that they are part of something bigger than themselves,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they have humility to recognize that their talents are God-given and the fame is man-given. As Coach John Wooden would say, \u201cConceit is self-given. Be careful.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they need to have discipline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they need to be thankful for all the things they\u2019ve been given. Sometimes, the kids today\/they have an attitude of entitlement, especially young men, who feel like they\u2019re great at something. I want them to understand: \u201cYou need to be thankful just that you have the opportunity to play this game, let alone to be good at it,\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they need to serve one another. They say, \u201cHow do you serve?\u201d I tell my guys, as they\u2019re going out onto the court, \u201cAnyone can be great; all you have to do is serve.\u201d I tell them, before they go out: \u201cBe great today; serve your teammates.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they have some integrity about themselves\u2014not only that they talk the talk, but they walk the walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that they have passion. I think that so many things in life we just go through passionless; there\u2019s no fire about it. You need to have some fire about whatever it is you\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m hoping, in three years\u2014if I can have a young man understand and inherit those characteristics\u2014then maybe, just maybe, we have done something right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Dru Joyce talking about the seven key principles that he founded his basketball program on and how he mentored many young men. Do you remember them, Ron? I\u2019m giving you a quiz here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; let me see what I get: passion, have discipline, humility, serve\u2014yes, I lost the other ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Integrity, thankfulness. Is there one of those seven key elements that sort of rise to the top? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow! You know, I think in my role, as a dad, I want to do all of those and more; right? I don\u2019t know that necessarily that one rises to the top <em>over<\/em> the others in terms of its importance. I think to create well-rounded kids or that become well-rounded adults, we want to try to put as many of those in them as we can. I\u2019m attracted to the one about humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a hard one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It is. By the way, it\u2019s kind of paradoxical\u2014as a parent, or leader, or mentor\/whatever your role is with a child\u2014it\u2019s to display humility; because I think we get caught up, as parents, in that idea of being the authority as if being the authority means we have the final say: \u201cWe talk; you listen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Somehow, that means we can\u2019t come off the high authority throne and come down and be real with our children. I think being humble about who we are, and real, and vulnerable with our children teaches them so much; because what it does is\u2014it says: \u201cI need God,\u201d \u201cI need His presence in my life,\u201d \u201cI have more to learn,\u201d I make mistakes; I can own my mistakes,\u201d\u2014what that says is we are all in process, and we all need God, [and] we all need forgiveness. That shows our children how to do the same thing in their lives\u2014how to admit their faults\u2014and not feel like: \u201cOh, I made a mistake; therefore, I\u2019m bad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>See, when I say, \u201cI made a mistake; I\u2019m learning,\u201d I\u2019m demonstrating to my children that I don\u2019t have to be ashamed of every mistake that I make\/that, somehow, who I am is not a result of what I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I also want to clarify; because I\u2019m sitting here, going, \u201cThis isn\u2019t something that you\u2019re just living in front of your kids. You\u2019re\/this is your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, yes; it better be real. If it\u2019s not genuine\u2014it\u2019s not: \u201cI\u2019m just doing this for show so my kids will pick up on it, and I\u2019ll hope they\u2019ll learn a lesson from it,\u201d\u2014no, no, no\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cI just need to live this way genuinely before the Lord and in life.\u201d Then they will witness that; and that is what will help it stick, I think, for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> One other point that Dru had made was the discipline. I have watched a lot of people\u2014I don\u2019t have kids; I\u2019m not married; don\u2019t have kids\u2014but I have watched a lot of people just discipline their kids the behavior modification route. When you bring discipline in, are we talking about punishment; or are we talking about something else? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How big\/is there a broader scope of discipline? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, we have problems with this word, \u201cdiscipline\u201d; it means so many things. Dru might have been referring to discipline as in a work ethic on the basketball court: \u201cYou work hard,\u201d \u201cYou learn your craft,\u201d \u201cYou apply yourself toward the skill of basketball,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cgaining discipline\/have discipline as you play the game.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is something we want to teach our kids: \u201c Have discipline in how you do your schoolwork,\u201d and \u201c\u2026how you go about the activities you are involved in,\u201d and \u201c\u2026applying yourself toward college,\u201d\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then there are the other meanings of the word, \u201cdiscipline.\u201d We often say \u201cdiscipline\u201d when we mean \u201cpunishment,\u201d\u2014like, the verb, discipline\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re going to discipline our children.\u201d Really, what we mean there is: \u201cApply a consequence, some sort of punishment, some sort of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014sting; because we\u2019re trying to shape their behavior and their character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the broad word, \u201cdiscipline,\u201d comes from \u201cdisciple,\u201d from a biblical standpoint. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It\u2019s really about growing as a follower of Jesus Christ. The big picture in parenting is: \u201cYes, we\u2019re trying to shape our children to be more like Jesus: to embrace who He was, and adopt His way of life, and believe and trust on Him.\u201d Sometimes, we have to get out the verb, discipline\/punishment, in order to shape their behavior\u2014right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and try to modify that a little bit. We\u2019re not just going, Michelle, for behavior modification; we\u2019re going for <em>heart<\/em> modification. We should always be aware that: \u201cYes, we are changing the outside, but we are also trying to change the inside,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cnot just the outside.\u201d Sometimes, parents just clamp down on external behavior\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014and don\u2019t ever shape the internal. If we\u2019re doing both external and internal shaping, we are doing discipleship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in disciplining, where is it that parents usually blow it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow! Good question. I think for some, it is a focus on the external behavior\/just the externals. For example, one of the big conversations we have around corporeal punishment and spanking\u2014I am quick to say, \u201cWe spanked our kids,\u201d\u2014but we did it very little. We saved it for when we needed it; because I\u2019m well aware that spanking changes external behavior quickly, but doesn\u2019t do anything, necessarily, to change the heart; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s\/if you\u2019re just focused on changing the externals, you can get that done: you can be angry and get that done; you can be overbearing and get that done\u2014and all you will do is alienate your children from your heart, and from your belief system, from your values\u2014because, soon, they are like: \u201cI don\u2019t want anything that matters to you; because if that\u2019s who you are because of that, I don\u2019t want any part of it.\u201d We can undo ourselves by focusing too much on the externals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, I think another thing that people do is: the other extreme is getting passive as parents\u2014often, it\u2019s\/we feel sorry for our kids; or we want to be their best friend; we don\u2019t ever want to be, you know, somebody that they view as against them\u2014as if, somehow, punishment is against your child; it\u2019s <em>for<\/em> your child\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s [not] either being too strict or being too soft. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How do we move from being too soft? I mean, what are some of those steps from being passive to being more of an active, really, role model in influencing our kids for the better? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You know what I find, with a lot of people, who are passive?\u2014is they do know better. They can even articulate: \u201cYes, I know; I went soft on that,\u201d \u201cYes, I know I said you were grounded for three days, and I let him out in an hour,\u201d \u201cYes, I know I should have said something about that, but I just\/I thought I\u2019d let it go.\u201d They know better than they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they have to do is ask themselves: \u201cWhy don\u2019t I follow through? What keeps me from doing what I know?\u201d Often, it\u2019s some sort of anxiety or fear: \u201cI have a concern; I don\u2019t want to alienate my child. I don\u2019t want to be like my dad, who went over the top; and he got angry. I was always afraid of him. I don\u2019t want to be that guy, and I do nothing,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know what it is.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be as different as many of individuals that practice that; but they need to ask themselves: \u201cWhat holds me back?\u201d \u201cWhat do I do now with that fear?\u201d\u2014\u201cI have to walk through it; otherwise, I will continue to be paralyzed and passive. That\u2019s not serving my child well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Great points, Ron. We\u2019re going to actually hear more from you and, also, from Dru Joyce when we come back from the break. To start off our break, actually, is Ron Deal\u2019s FamilyLife Blended. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Great; let\u2019s hear it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I\u2019m Michelle Hill. I am here in the studio with Ron Deal. Welcome back, Ron. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Thanks for joining me. You are\u2014what?\u2014a new author <em>again<\/em>?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes; book number six, <em>Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Very cool. What sets this apart from <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, which is one of your books? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. This is a devotional book for couples, 365-devotionals that take a minute or less. If you don\u2019t have a minute,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014a minute or less\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014you are way too busy\u2014one minute or less. Couples can read this, close with a little prayer, and just get centered on what will move their family forward over time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s very cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019re excited. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Congratulations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been talking about parenting and about being role models. We heard a clip earlier from Dru Joyce. Well, we have another clip from Dru Joyce, and it\u2019s about a significant time in his life when he had to lead his family and listen to where God was really taking him. He had to make a significant choice; it took a big step of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s Dru answering Dennis Rainey\u2019s most famous question; and that is, \u201cWhat\u2019s the most courageous thing you\u2019ve ever done?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> The most courageous thing that I\u2019ve done\u2014and I say <em>I<\/em>; but it\u2019s really <em>we<\/em>, my wife and I\u2014is after that championship year. I had been in corporate America for 25 years. My company tolerated\u2014they didn\u2019t like the fact that I was a high school basketball coach\u2014because I was doing it after hours; I wasn\u2019t missing work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So you coached the national championship, part time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dru:<\/strong> Yes; yes. So after that, they kind of put me out to pasture. I was calling on a major account in the Midwest\u2014$15 million account\u2014they were going to move me to an account in New York that had been in bankruptcy twice. I kind of got the message that: \u201cYou need to focus on something else.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that time, my youngest son was just about to enter high school. When they offered me to take the job to go into New York\u2014drive up to Syracuse, New York, from Akron once a week\u2014I said, \u201cYes.\u201d I left that meeting, and I called my wife; I said, \u201cMy mouth said, \u2018Yes\u2019; but my heart\u2019s saying, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d I went home, and we talked about it. Honestly, we cried about it and decided that\u2014[emotional] excuse me\u2014that my heart wasn\u2019t in it anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of my day, I\u2019d always ask myself from that sales job\u2014and I was very appreciative of what it had afforded my family\u2014but I had to ask myself, \u201cWhat have I done that really mattered?\u201d But when I got to that basketball court and that gym with those guys, I just knew that was where I was supposed to be. As I said, we cried about it. I woke up the next morning and I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to leave.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re Christians. We always say we believe in God, but it was kind of easy to believe in God\u2014I had a paycheck every other week and a secure job, and I\u2019m living a very nice existence\u2014but I said that I wanted to do this, so we started our faith walk. We walked away from a job in corporate America. I had no clue what I was going to do. We still had a house note; we had a young son, who was just a freshman in high school; my son, Dru, was a freshman, just finishing his freshman year in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think there\u2019s enough time to share; but God really impacted that decision, and He honored it. We recognize now\u2014my wife and I\u2014what savings are about. I did get a buy-out from the company; I was very thankful for that; it helped us through nine months. We lost some money, trying to do different things that first year, and trying to figure out where to go, and what I was going to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver time, though, the Lord gave me an opportunity to build the business that I\u2019ve now built around basketball. He\u2019s blessed it beyond my wildest dreams. Like this year, there will be over 600 teams that we\u2019re bringing to Akron for a travel team tournament. This will generate something like $4 million for the Akron\/greater Akron community over the weekend. It affords my wife and me our livelihood for a year. I\u2019m able to coach and do what I believe God has purposed me to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Dru Joyce answering the question\/Dennis Rainey\u2019s favorite question; that is, \u201cWhat is the most courageous thing you\u2019ve ever done?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019re talking about mentoring and parenting by example, I can\u2019t help but wonder what Dru\u2019s freshman son thought of his dad taking this humongous, big leap of faith. Obviously\u2014just as you and I have talked about today, Ron\u2014is that our kids are watching us; they are watching us and what we do. They are modeling our behavior. Taking a big leap of faith like that, it\u2019s got to have some risks involved to our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, it does; but they are watching, and they are seeing faith in action. In FamilyLife\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video curriculum, I make the comment that part of our job, as parents, is to connect faith to life. We make a big mistake when we live our faith, but don\u2019t make obvious connections in front of our kids about how that impacts how we live; because otherwise, faith is something you do on Sunday morning, and then you leave it there, and you go home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut for him\u2014and I don\u2019t know if Dru did this or not\u2014but for him to talk out loud in his home, not only with his wife as they are trying to make decisions; but once they have made those decisions, in front of his kids\u2014\u201cNow, kids, this is what we\u2019re going to do. We\u2019re trusting the Lord, and this is what it is\u2014here is what we thought through about\u2014and here is why we decided to do what we\u2019re doing. Here\u2019s the faith we\u2019re putting in God about this choice.\u201d That is a <em>huge<\/em> testimony to how faith connects to life in a very real way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen everybody is on board that there are risks involved; everybody is on board that there is a trust in God that\u2019s involved in this, and that we\u2019re figuring it out as we go; and there is no map. I mean, that\u2019s what trust is: \u201cThere is no map; we just know the next step in front of us, and we\u2019re walking with God.\u201d That leads an impression; right? I mean, that sort of thing, over time, witnessed by children has to show them that: \u201cNot only is faith a real thing, but it\u2019s real to my parents. That helps me know what I am choosing if I decide to make it real to me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it feels a lot like what we talked about before the break, and that was humility\u2014living out humility\u2014because that\u2019s what you are doing: is you are living out that humility in faith and in trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, and I would say we\u2019re picking up some of those other qualities: passion\/he\u2019s showing that he has passion for the Lord, and the trust that he has in that, and passion for what he wants to do and the dreams that he has for this new career; right? He showing discipline in how they are going about it. He is demonstrating how they\u2019ve counted the cost in the steps that they are taking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, a number of those character qualities are imbedded in this whole journey that the family gets to do together; and the kids get to be eye-witnesses to it. That\u2019s what is so powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What is something courageous that you\u2019ve done that your kids have learned from? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh! First of all, I would say being a parent, just in general, is one of the most courageous things I think any of us could do. The idea that this little soul is depending on me ought to frighten every one of us; alright? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Living that life courageously is sobering, but it\u2019s also a privilege. I think one specific thing that I\u2019ve done is walk through some painful, challenging times in our family\u2019s life, and tried to live it in a very real and genuine way in front of my children, and invite them into that journey with me. I think times of pain, and heartache, and discouragement when you question God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014to live that out in front of your children in a way that shows how you are; and at the same time, pursuing God, even in your doubts\u2014that takes a lot of courage; because there is this little fear in the back of your mind that says, \u201cWhat if they pick up more on my doubt than they do on my faith?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I hear \u201ctransparency.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> A big\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014portion of parenting is being transparent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to put your ego aside. You\u2019ve got to say, \u201cNope! This is real. I\u2019m not perfect, and I don\u2019t want my kids thinking I\u2019m perfect. I better show them I\u2019m imperfect: \u2018I have doubt,\u2019 and \u2018I struggle in temptation and sin and make mistakes,\u2019 and \u2018I learn. I fall on the grace of God, just like you are ten-year-old.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean, that\u2019s the cycle of life; right? I mean, we,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014as parents, we are living that out with our God and with each other. Then our kids are rippling that right back with us. In some strange way, we are representing God to them. If we\u2019re not real about ourselves in that capacity, then we become somebody impossible for our children to relate to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron:<\/strong> We don\u2019t want that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, Ron, I hate to say this; but we have come to the end of our time\/our allotted time today, but I have so enjoyed having you on and talking about parenting and helping us through just how to be a role model to our kids and how important that is and significant that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll have you on very soon to talk about your latest book, <em>The Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily<\/em>; and of course, people can go to your website, FamilyLifeBlended.com. Hey, also, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com, for more information on the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, which is FamilyLife\u2019s latest resource for parents on how to help you parent. It\u2019s actually one of the biggest initiatives that FamilyLife has had in quite a while. If you\u2019re struggling in parenting, or you have parenting down, it\u2019s going to be a <em>great<\/em> resource. Check it out: FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, next week, we\u2019re going to talk about working moms. I\u2019m going to pick the brain of my good friend, Tracy Lane. I hope you can join us for that. Thanks to Dru Joyce. Thanks also to our president, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d today to our engineer, Keith Lynch; and thanks to our producers, Phil Krause and Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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