{"id":306823,"date":"2021-04-19T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-19T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters\/"},"modified":"2021-04-19T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2021-04-19T11:00:04","slug":"conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversation Starters For Dads With Their Daughters"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Girls long for a good relationship with their dads, but dads often have a hard time knowing how to engage. Michelle Watson Canfield shares conversation starters that can knit the hearts of dads and daughters together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:12","filesize":"27.66M","filesize_raw":"28999981","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2836],"tags":[6973],"podcast_series":[8441],"cwp_profile":[9707],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306823","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-raising-girls","tag-dads-and-daughters","podcast_series-lets-talk","cwp_profile-michelle-watson-canfield","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306823\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306823\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OG5WK5Nrc5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters\/\">Conversation Starters For Dads With Their Daughters<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/conversation-starters-for-dads-with-their-daughters\/embed\/#?secret=OG5WK5Nrc5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Conversation Starters For Dads With Their Daughters&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OG5WK5Nrc5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Girls long for a good relationship with their dads, but dads often have a hard time knowing how to engage. Michelle Watson Canfield shares conversation starters that can knit the hearts of dads and daughters together.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re a father with daughters\u2014whether you know it or not\/whether your daughter acts like it or not\u2014she wants you and needs you in her life. Here\u2019s Michelle Watson Canfield.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> A friend of mine said, as a Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> leader, he had a whole van full of senior and high school girls\u2014you know, [others\u2019] daughters\u2014his daughter was four at the time. He said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m overhearing a lot of negative conversation about your dads. Can you be the experts and tell me, \u2018What do I need to know so that, when my daughter is a senior in high school, she\u2019s not saying what you\u2019re saying?\u2019\u201d Do you know what the collective response was?\u2014\u201cWhen we pushed our dad away, we wished that he wouldn\u2019t have left.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How can a dad stay connected with his daughter even if she\u2019s acting like she\u2019s not really interested? That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to dive into today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think this is really interesting; we\u2019re going to be talking about the importance of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to be talking about talking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughter] We are; that\u2019s right! We\u2019re going to be talking about how critical the relationship between a father and a daughter is, and you didn\u2019t have any daughters; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I didn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Neither did I, Bob. [Laughter] You pointed over at Ann; I\u2019m like, \u201cWe\u2019re one.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s true; that\u2019s a good point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re right; we didn\u2019t have any daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys didn\u2019t raise daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I did have a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the interesting thing, because Michelle Watson Canfield is joining us today as well. Welcome, Michelle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Thank you; joy to be here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you had a dad, too; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I did! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you have had no daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here we are\u2014talking about this subject\u2014and I think it has to be of interest to you, in part because you\u2019re a daughter, not because you\u2019re married to somebody\u2014well, now, you are married to somebody, who has daughters, so you\u2019re getting to see it from a whole different\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019m a newlywed though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you\u2019re right; this has honed up in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should explain to our listeners\u2014this is pretty interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, like a couple of months!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We have to talk about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do; and we may tell the whole story at some point, but you are\/can we say that you are later in life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, 60!\u00a0 I\u2019m totally good with saying my age. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And single your entire life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And contented as a single.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tM<strong>ichelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> But I did wrestle; I\u2019m not going to lie; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right; for years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, for years until about five years ago; and really felt like God was saying, \u201cMichelle, your whole lane is dads and daughters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And so you got in that lane, and you were driving that lane.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I gave up marriage as a dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You said you made a commitment, like: \u201cI\u2019m good being single the rest of my life,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014five years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Every heart of every dad in this nation is turned toward his daughter: \u201cI\u2019m all in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And then\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And <em>then<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014then, oh my goodness! The long story that\u2019s very short is that a man, who is a widower\u2014who I\u2019ve respected for years\u2014wrote the forward for my first book. Dr. Ken Canfield started the National Center for Fathering 30 years ago. We\u2019ve been colleagues, always above board; and his wife died last year. Really, it was one of those things, where I just heard God\u2019s voice really speak to my spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been married for how long?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Five-and-a-half months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There we go; this is amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> See, look how excited she is about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You guys look like newlyweds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Do we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You do, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, so sweet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re grabbing each other\u2019s hands; you\u2019re kissing. I\u2019m jealous.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want you to do that to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Come on! We\u2019ll inspire you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, come over here, honey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re on the same mike. Mmmm, okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> See that didn\u2019t happen with Dennis; did it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m sitting here\u2014that didn\u2019t happen with Dennis\u2014and I\u2019m glad it didn\u2019t happen with Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy dads and daughters?\u2014why is that the lane God laid out for you? Again, you\u2019ve been single your whole life; you\u2019ve been in clinical practice for years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle<\/strong>: Yes, 25 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did this show up on your radar screen in the first place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right; so I\u2019d been mentoring and counseling young women for a lot of years\u2014even since I was 19\u2014mentoring them in churches, and camps, and different forums like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you have your doctorate in?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Doctorate in counseling psychology.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You are the smartest person in this room; I just wanted to let you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh my goodness; no. no! It just means there\u2019s letters after my name; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut truthfully, I\u2019ve mentored girls for so many years\u2014four decades\u2014and over and over, just hearing, through the years, about so much heart pain with their dads not knowing how to connect with them. I think, on the best of days\u2014you know, you men are from Mars; we\u2019re from Venus\u2014right, Ann? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And we speak two different languages, even on the best of days. God knows me enough that He gave me something that is totally unique, and I just listen to His voice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story is: really, that in December of 2009, I was reading in Luke 1 how God told Zechariah that his yet-to-be-born son, John, would help turn the <em>hearts<\/em>\u2014<em>not the heads<\/em>\u2014of fathers to their children; right? I was sitting there, a random day, and just heard God say, \u201cMichelle, that\u2019s what I want you to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201c<em>What?<\/em>\u201d\u2014like truth be told, I never really liked fathers joining counseling sessions\u2014they\u2019d always say [in deep voice], \u201cOkay, what are your three goals?\u201d; and they\u2019d just want all these data points. I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, that isn\u2019t really how I roll. I\u2019m meeting people where they\u2019re at.\u201d And yet, here God said, \u201cThat\u2019s what I want you to do with men!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you\u2019re getting at the head\/heart thing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely; that\u2019s the key.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014because dads would come in, and you felt like you heard their head. God said, \u201chearts,\u201d so what\u2019s that mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right; there\u2019s a discrepancy there\/is: \u201cHow do men get into their heart space?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, let\u2019s talk about <em>that<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about that! And you know what? I love that you brought that up; because so many men in the groups that I lead\u2014which I\u2019ll tell you about in a sec\u2014but really, these men say, \u201cDid you know this is really helping me with my wife, too?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> The things they\u2019re learning\u2014right?\u2014with their daughters are changing <em>them<\/em> from the inside out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What I\u2019ve found is that, when men\u2019s competence is built, their confidence builds. As a woman, over here\u2014where I have great respect for the role that fathers have in the lives of their daughters and their sons\u2014is I\u2019m a champion of men. You guys can weigh in on this one\u2014I believe men can tell whether or not a woman\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014is an ally. I speak mostly at men\u2019s conferences, not women\u2019s conferences anymore. Sometimes, I can <em>feel<\/em> the hostility when I walk in; because I think they think I\u2019m a threat. But then, when they hear my heart\u2014and I don\u2019t say this to sound arrogant\u2014but they really do then see I\u2019m an ally. They line up, many of them, crying over estrangement; and they literally say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do; everything I\u2019m doing is wrong.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m going to give you some ideas, and then I\u2019ll be your fall guy. If it bombs, you just blame <em>me<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut anyway, back to the story\u2014see\/right, Ann?\u2014we can go on a scenic route and then we come back to the freeway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! I\u2019ve been explaining this to Bob and Dave. This is how we run as women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> This is how we roll; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure I know what just happened here. [Laughter] What just happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You asked me the question: \u201cHow did I get into this fathering space?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right; Luke 1.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; so the next month, when God said, \u201cI want you to start turning the hearts of fathers\/help allying with Me in doing that,\u201d I wrote 11 dads an email\u2014whose daughters were my clients at the time, in their teens or their 20s\u2014said: \u201cWould you want to join me, once a month for six months, to see if there\u2019s a change in you, your daughter, and your relationship?\u201d Ten of the eleven men said, \u201cYes, we\u2019re in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Once a month; that\u2019s doable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Exactly!\u2014a couple of hours once a month. I had no curriculum; but every month, Abba would download to me\u2014I call Him Abba\u2014it means Daddy in Aramaic. Men love a project, hence the name\u2014it\u2019s The Abba Project\u2014every month, He would download the next idea. I had no curriculum\/nothing planned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI take men through all kinds of topics. We start in the light end; I say the lighter end, which is really the format of my book now. Let\u2019s start with laughter, where a dad can ask his daughter: \u201cWhat item of my clothing would you love to see me get rid of?\u201d [Laughter] Come on, just make fun of Dad!\u2014let\u2019s start with the fun stuff like that\u2014or \u201cTell me about your wedding day. What colors do you want? Where do you want it to be? What flowers do you want?\u201d I have yet to find a dad, who has even thought to ask his daughter those questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What a great idea, and it\u2019s not threatening. It\u2019s just her dream; it\u2019s her vision. It\u2019s getting into her heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is this dads and 12-year-olds?\u2014dads and 6-year-olds?\u2014dads and what age?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, I target teens and 20s, when it gets harder.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I find a lot of dads say: \u201cWhen my daughter\u2019s young, you come home from work, she runs up and throws her little grimy hands around your neck, and kisses your face; and you kiss her boo-boo, and it\u2019s all better really fast\u201d; right? And then she hits 13\/14, maybe 11\/12,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and it\u2019s awkward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s awkward; it changes overnight. All of a sudden, dad is <em>not<\/em> the coolest guy in the room anymore; she wants her peers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDads, I have found, are a lot more tender and soft on the underbelly than they may appear; and that starts hurting <em>their<\/em> heart. So, oftentimes, I have found\u2014in now \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t10 years of mentoring men\/coaching men\u2014is that you guys are smart enough to say: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m making it worse. I\u2019m going to let Mom go in: \u2018Here, you\u2019re a girl; you go in.\u2019\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOoh, ooh, no, no dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So he pulls out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> He does! He backs up\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You said that in the book. I loved how you said this; because, as a man, I resonated immediately. You said, \u201cMen would rather do nothing than do it wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was really interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s when\/in some ways why we step out; it\u2019s like: \u201cI\u2019m doing it wrong. I know I\u2019m doing it wrong. I don\u2019t know how to do it right. She knows how to do it right; I\u2019m out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And maybe his wife is critiquing him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That does happen a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and then he pulled way out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, do you remember that phase with your girls?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember when I started to feel like: \u201cYes, they are in a different place. They\u2019re not as interested in what I think, or what is going on,\u201d and \u201cThis feels a little awkward. Their bodies are changing, so hugging them feels different; kissing them feels different than when they were six years old.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you, as a dad, you\u2019re not sure how to handle that, and what\u2019s right and appropriate, especially in this culture, where dads are crossing the line and violating. This is where a dad goes, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be that guy, so now what do I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know what? You sound like you were in one of the groups. This comes up every year; and it is in the materials that I give these dads, and then we talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And what I told them is\u2014as a woman\u2014I can tell you this as God as my witness; and you can weigh in on this, Ann, if you want\u2014but inside of <em>our<\/em> bodies, we don\u2019t feel any different. So when dad starts backing off, going, \u201cI don\u2019t want to touch you in the wrong place,\u201d what happens is we start thinking something\u2019s <em>wrong<\/em> with us. Dads, who are listening, who have daughters, who are developing, just remember: \u201cKeep hugging her the same way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I had one of the dads tell me\u2014a guy named Mike\u2014said when his daughter was 13, he started backing off; because she was more developed. They used to wrestle. As you can imagine, it actually started causing distance in their relationship\u2014I don\u2019t think just because they weren\u2019t wrestling\u2014but I think that was a metaphor of distance that was happening, where there was lack of physical contact happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen that is the perfect set up for girls to be wooed by the dud and the dude, who\u2019s like, \u201c<em>I\u2019ll go in<\/em>.\u201d She wants touch; I mean, they can <em>read<\/em> it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to ask you about this\u2014and I\u2019ll ask both of you because both of you had an experience of abuse in your background as children\u2014\u201cDoes that not affect the daddy\/daughter touch aspect of a parent relationship?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely; it affects that\u2014even sometimes, unconsciously, if it\u2019s been disassociated; right?\u2014where somebody\u2019s not even in touch with <em>why<\/em> touch from a man feels awful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo for dads, you\u2019re going to have to pace with your daughter; right? If she\u2019s reactive to touch, I encourage them to try a tap on the shoulder; or kiss the top of her head; or at the very least, do an ET touch, finger to finger\u2014like something, where you are initiating\u2014because we know that, in Malachi, God says it\u2019s the hearts of fathers who have to turn first; and then, in reciprocal response, the daughter turns. So yes, it is up to the dad to find a way to reach the emotional center of his daughter, even if she has abuse there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did your dad know that you had experienced abuse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> No; my dad didn\u2019t know I\u2019d experienced abuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And my dad didn\u2019t either. I do remember being in the fourth grade; and my parents weren\u2019t very affectionate\u2014my mom especially\u2014but my dad did kiss me at night before I went to bed. I remember being in the fourth grade, and I said, \u201cI wonder if I\u2019m too old for you to kiss me goodnight?\u201d He said, \u201cOh, you probably are\u201d; and it was the last time I had any physical contact with either my mom or my dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember walking away out of that room, and there was a sadness in my heart. I think I was hoping he would say, \u201cYou\u2019ll never be too old.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I think my dad didn\u2019t know; and so he\u2019s thinking, \u201cWell, you know, yeah you probably don\u2019t need it anymore.\u201d Is there ever a time when a daughter <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> need it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely not. In fact, a friend of mine said, as a Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> leader, he had a whole van full of senior and high school girls\u2014you know, [others\u2019] daughters\u2014and his daughter was four at the time. He said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m overhearing a lot of negative conversation about your dads. Can you be the experts and tell me, \u2018What do I need to know so that, when my daughter is a senior in high school, she\u2019s not saying what you\u2019re saying?\u2019\u201d Do you know what the collective response was?\u2014\u201cWhen we pushed our dad away, we wished that he wouldn\u2019t have left.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m sitting here, listening as a dad of sons, hearing\u2014tell me if I\u2019m right\u2014\u201cDads, step in; do <em>not<\/em> step out, even when it\u2019s uncomfortable. Step into your uncomfortableness\/when it\u2019s awkward.\u201d I want to say to the dads listening, \u201cIt\u2019s on us; let\u2019s do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember feeling the same thing when <em>my boys<\/em> hit teenage years. I know it\u2019s different than a daughter; but I was like, \u201cOh, it\u2019s great when they\u2019re little kids; you jump in their bed with them, and you roll around, and you read Bible stories, and you pray.\u201d Then they are 15; and you\u2019re like, \u201cThis is sort of weird. I\u2019m not going to lay down in the bed beside him. I\u2019ve got a beard; he\u2019s got a beard. I\u2019m not going to hug him.\u201d It feels\/and I remember thinking, \u201cNo, I need to do this.\u201d I never had a dad do it; my dad was gone, so I\u2019d <em>never<\/em> seen this. I remember Ann saying, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you hug them anymore? Why don\u2019t you lay down beside them?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cIt\u2019s weird.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can imagine, even like Bob, it being even stranger with a daughter; but I knew then\u2014I\u2019m not saying I did it well\u2014I don\u2019t wait for them; I\u2019ve got to step in, and I\u2019ve got to become the dad that still hugs and still lays in bed with them at night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it could look different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to look different. I wish I could say, if we called them right now, they\u2019d\u00a0 say, \u201cDad did that unbelievable.\u201d They\u2019d probably say, \u201cYeah, he didn\u2019t do it great.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You were standing in the kitchen with our 29-year-old; and he said, \u201cDad, just hug me!\u201d\u2014a 29-year-old man\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cDad, just bear hug me.\u201d You had touched the boys, but you weren\u2019t bear hugging them. You\u2019re like, \u201cThis is weird.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But I needed to step into that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014especially when your son or daughter is <em>asking<\/em> for it. It\u2019s like there\u2019s a part of us, as men, we just\/when we don\u2019t know what to do, we do <em>nothing<\/em>. It\u2019s like: \u201cYou know what? You don\u2019t want to regret this, so go for it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the dad, Mike\u2014that I was telling you about that backed off from his daughter as she was developing\u2014well, then, she was 17. He said, \u201cI haven\u2019t been really hugging her for four years.\u201d But they started doing these monthly dad\/daughter dates with questions that I gave them\u2014which is really what Let\u2019s Talk is about\u2014is equipping dads with more questions to get the conversation going. I always say: \u201cAs a daughter, when our mouth opens, our heart opens.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>big<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> When you said this, and I read it in your book, I\u2019m like \u201cOh!\u201d I just stopped for a second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, I\u2019ve got to be honest; I read it <em>to<\/em> her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, he did; I was doing something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cAnn, listen to this. Is this true?\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cAbsolutely!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cIt\u2019s true on a date night with us\u2014no question\u2014so it would be the same with a daughter with a father.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, when we stop talking\u2014am I right, men?\u2014you go [deep voice], \u201cWhat did I do? [Laughter] What\u2019s wrong?\u201d When we\u2019re closed in our heart, our mouth closes up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen dads are like [deep voice], \u201cOkay, I don\u2019t know what to do to reach her heart,\u201d it really comes back to talking: \u201cHow can you get us to open up and have a conversation with you?\u201d That\u2019s what this dad, Mike, did. He said, \u201cGuess what\u2019s happened?\u201d We were on about month six of The Abba Project; he said, \u201cWe\u2019re wrestling again,\u201d\u2014all of that goes together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When I talk to men\u2014you know, like I do a session with just guys\u2014I always make a joke, like, \u201cIf you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re sitting there, like, \u2018Just tell me what to do,\u2019\u201d; you know? That\u2019s what a guy\u2014just put it on the bottom shelf\u2014\u201cTell me what to do; I\u2019ll go do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what your book does; I mean, look at it: <em>Let\u2019s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters<\/em>. Here it is; a manual: \u201cWhat do I do?\u201d\u2014\u201cOpen this.\u201d I mean, I read the first one: \u201cHere\u2019s how you ask questions about laughter\u2026\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWe\u2019re that elementary?\u201d; yes, we are. [Laughter] You can take question number one, and look at your daughter and do it, and guess what? She\u2019s going to open her mouth. Her heart\u2019s going to open; yours is going to open\u2014\u201cHere we go!\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> <em>Exactly<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s the genius.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You talk about the three truths that dads need to know. The first one is: \u201cYou are your daughter\u2019s introduction to male love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely; so many little girls I asked about\/bring up the thing about a wedding day\/her wedding day. She, oftentimes, is already thinking that way\u2014right?\u2014is: \u201cWhat is that going to be like?\u201d It\u2019s very romantic and magical, not realistic oftentimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And our granddaughter, I remember when she was three and four, she would just go through the wedding album of her parents. I thought, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen our sons, in their whole lives, even want to look at a wedding picture.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; so I think the more a dad can\u2014again, it\u2019s about the heart connection\u2014 get her talking about her dreams, and what kind of guy she\u2019s interested in, and what wouldn\u2019t she want in a guy that she would marry, and what would have her walk away? I don\u2019t care if she\u2019s six, or sixteen, or twenty-six. I think the more dads can ask questions rather than make statements, he will pace better with his daughter; because she\u2019ll get to tell him what she\u2019s thinking, what she\u2019s experienced, what she\u2019s needing. That\u2019s going to help her, outside of the home, have more of a voice and be a world-changer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So number two was: \u201cYour daughter wants you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Absolutely; she may not know how to tell you that, especially when her hormones are raging, which affects her moods, her behavior, and her thinking. Just expect her to go off the rails a little bit during those adolescent\/preadolescent years. Dads, I know that this is going to require you to dig deep to find skills inside of you that you didn\u2019t even know you had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love reminding men: \u201cAt times, where it gets really challenging with your girls, go back and find pictures of when it was really easy between the two of you; because that\u2019s going to awaken your heart to remember how much you love her during those years, where you can\u2019t quite get to that place and remember what you loved about her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What\u2019s the goal? As a dad, I want to know: \u201cWhat am I aiming for? I want to connect with the heart of my daughter, and I want that just on a relational level; but why is this so important for her and for me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, a couple of things come to mind. One is that her identity is tied to her dad; right? Most women have the same last name as their dad. They\u2019re looking at their father, saying, \u201cThis is my name; I carry your name.\u201d I think we live in a culture, where a lot of women don\u2019t know who they are or whose they are; right? They\u2019re prime candidates for the \u201cworld\u201d\u2014I put that in quotes\u2014but to say, \u201cHere\u2019s how we\u2019re going to define you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven earlier, Dave, the thought came to me; and I thought, \u201cDo I say this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Uh oh, here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When we talked about dads hugging their daughters, I\u2019m just going to go out on a limb here; but men, who are addicted to pornography, are going to struggle more to engage their daughters physically. Dads, remember that, in your home as a leader, this is on you to take that <em>out<\/em> of your life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014so that you can be a representative\u2014which leads to my second thing of: \u201cWhy this is so important,\u201d\u2014is that you\u2019re building a bridge to God, as a Father, ultimately. Like isn\u2019t it interesting, in John 8:44, that Jesus Himself\u2014this is red letter in the Bible\u2014called Satan what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The father of lies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>The father of lies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> The father of lies; he is a counterfeit father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDads, just know\u2014back to what is so important about this relationship between a dad and a daughter\u2014is you are building a bridge to God, as a Father; so that when you\u2019re not there, she knows she has a Dad\u2014capital \u201cD\u201d\u2014who will protect her, define her, love her, and invest in her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And any of us here can tell you we\u2019ve all had these conversations with young women, who will say, \u201cI struggled with a relationship with God, because of my relationship with my father. If that\u2019s what father means, I want nothing to do with God; because of the brokenness and the disconnectedness.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, as dads, we have to recognize this is not just about how we get along with our daughters\u2014which is important; it\u2019s vital; it\u2019s what we all want\u2014but what Michelle has said: we\u2019re building a bridge that\u2019s a bigger bridge than just how we get along inside the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the dad, who says, \u201cI don\u2019t know where to start,\u201d we got it for you. Michelle\u2019s written the book that\u2019s the guide book: Page 1, \u201cAsk this question\u2026\u201d Page 2, \u201cNow, ask this question\u2026\u201d I mean, it\u2019s pretty bottom shelf.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, there\u2019s sixty topics; and it\u2019s: \u201cDad, lead her to laugh,\u201d \u201cLead her to love herself and others,\u201d \u201cLead her to look deeper.\u201d Fourth section is: \u201cLead her to lament.\u201d And then the last one is: \u201cLead her to listen,\u201d\u2014where we flip the script\u2014and the daughter gets to ask dad questions. There\u2019s 60 conversation starters and activities, where I really have a goal to equip dads to lead to be the hero they want to be and that their daughter needs them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are making the book available this week to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who can help with a donation to support this ministry. Again, Michelle\u2019s book is called <em>Let\u2019s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters<\/em>. The book is our thank-you gift to you when you reach out to help support the ongoing work of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You help provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families all around the world\u2014hundreds of thousands of people, every day, who are connecting with us\u2014listening to this program, either on radio, or via podcast, or on our app, or by asking Alexa<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> to play <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You make all of that possible for yourself and for others when you support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd again, if you can make a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield\u2019s book, <em>Let\u2019s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Again, the website to donate: FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate: 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I mentioned the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app. If you have not downloaded the app to your smartphone or your device, it\u2019s easy to do. Go to your app store, type in FamilyLife\u2014one word\u2014just put Family and Life together as one word; the app should come up. It\u2019s free to download. It gives you access to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> every day with the push of a button. If you want to listen at a time when it\u2019s convenient for you, or if you want to share a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> broadcast with others so they can listen, the app makes it super easy. Go to your app store; type in FamilyLife as one word, and download the FamilyLife mobile app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue talking about how dads can more effectively connect with the hearts of their daughters. Michelle Watson Canfield will be back with us tomorrow. Hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. We got some extra help from Bruce Goff and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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