{"id":306807,"date":"2021-04-05T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-05T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids\/"},"modified":"2021-04-05T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2021-04-05T11:00:04","slug":"surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Surrendering to God&#8217;s Plan For My Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As parents, we often think about the future and what expectations and dreams we have for our children. But how do we balance our desires for their good with surrendering their lives to the One who created them? Dave and Ann Wilson give insight on having plans for our kids, while understanding God has a bigger one.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Links<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife&#8217;s Art of Parenting&reg; Small Group Kit. https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/p-5094-familylifes-art-of-parenting-small-group-series-kit.aspx<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As parents, we often think about the future and what expectations and dreams we have for our children. Dave and Ann Wilson give insight on having plans for our kids, while understanding God has a bigger one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:57","filesize":"27.42M","filesize_raw":"28752948","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[2209],"podcast_series":[8437],"cwp_profile":[3647],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306807","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-parenting","podcast_series-no-perfect-parents","cwp_profile-dave-and-ann-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306807\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306807\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8fBQCGadBA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids\/\">Surrendering to God&#8217;s Plan For My Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-to-gods-plan-for-my-kids\/embed\/#?secret=8fBQCGadBA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Surrendering to God&#8217;s Plan For My Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"8fBQCGadBA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dave and Ann Wilsonremember becoming parents for the first time. Their parenting journey got off to an unexpected and challenging start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Finally, the doctor came and he said, \u201cThis was a really traumatic birth; it was really fast. We\u2019re afraid your baby has a skull fracture.\u201d I\u2019m in that room all by myself and I said, \u201cGod, what\u2019s happening right now? Where are You? This isn\u2019t what we <em>hoped<\/em> it would look like. This isn\u2019t what we expected.\u201d In that time, I felt like God was asking me: \u201cCan you surrender this child to Me?\u201d That\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. A big part of parenting is recognizing that your kids don\u2019t belong to you; they belong to God. So the right first step is to surrender your kids to God. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dave and Ann Wilson. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t4\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve had people, over the years, who have told me they think it\u2019s really smart, if you\u2019re going to write a book on parenting, wait until your kids are grown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014are 50 years old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I\u2019m thinking. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cMy kids are grown; they\u2019re all married. I\u2019m still not sure I\u2019m ready to write that book on parenting.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me neither.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you just did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We did; what are we thinking?![Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, our oldest is 34. We figured, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s long enough.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have just finished a book called <em>No Perfect Parents. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was mostly about Ann. I was sort of the perfect parent. [Laughter] But I was married to an imperfect one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ll say, \u201cAmen,\u201d to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you really, looking back on your parenting years, lots of lessons learned that you\u2019re just thinking, \u201cI wish somebody had told us these things when we were starting the journey\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and I think that I\u2019m not sure that I could have heard it and put it into action. But I do wish that I would have had a mentor. I think I had that, time to time; but I needed somebody continually to be pouring into me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was a camp counsellor for six summers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, so you\u2019re an expert.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I thought; I thought, \u201cI could be a parent. I was a camp counsellor for six summers. I mean, what else is there other than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s harder than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou take these kids down to the creek. [Laughter] You play around for about an hour. Then you take them back to the camp, and then it\u2019s nap time. I mean, I\u2019ve done this! It\u2019s simple.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really do think I went into parenting with the idea that that\u2019s what you do: \u201cYou just show your kids a good time, and you have fun.\u201d I don\u2019t think I had much of a vision for what I was supposed to be, as a dad, or what parenting was supposed to look like, other than: \u201cKeep them safe and get them to 21, and make sure they\u2019re in decent shape when you get them there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s not as bad as <em>my<\/em> goal. I was like, \u201cMy kids are going to be happy, and popular, and athletic\u201d; because that\u2019s what my parents were like, growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s Ann\u2019s perspective. I was scared to death, because I don\u2019t remember ever being around my dad; so I really didn\u2019t know what parenting looked like. My mom was great and loved me; but when we brought our first son home, I was really scared. I was like: \u201cI need this book. Where\u2019s that book?\u201d \u201cI need something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You need somebody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI need something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the things you guys talk about\/you really start this book with a look at the expectations we bring into parenting. But take us back; you\u2019d been married how long before you found out you were pregnant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014five-and-a-half years. We were <em>planning<\/em> everything. We were on staff with Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We had finished seminary. We had been married long enough; so we\u2019re thinking, \u201cOkay;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cwe\u2019re ready.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014it\u2019s about time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We thought we were ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had kind of held off for a little while: \u201cWe\u2019re going to have some years together; get these things out of the way before we have kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m kind of an achiever; so I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m pregnant. I\u2019m going to make sure I do all the right things.\u201d My first thought was, \u201cWell, what should I do?\u2014I should learn from other women.\u201d I got myself into this small group. We were still in seminary, and I was newly pregnant. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this Bible study for moms, and I will learn from these moms what it\u2019s like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this morning because I was nervous. I\u2019d never been to a mom\u2019s Bible study. I dressed in this really cute outfit, because I wanted to <em>impress<\/em> them. I wasn\u2019t really showing yet; and I thought, \u201cOh, I wish I was showing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walk into the door of this Bible study. It was like World War II had gone off in the room [Laughter]: there were diapers, and swings, and bassinets, and screaming\/like screaming and crying. I look over, and this young mom; I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat is she wearing? It looks like she just got this shirt from the bottom of the laundry basket\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cthat\u2019s been there for like three months.\u201d Not kidding; she smells because she has spit up; it\u2019s rolling down her shoulder. The other thing I thought, \u201cOh my goodness, she has a Cheerio<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> stuck in her hair\u201d; [Laughter] but she seemed so happy\u2014and all the moms\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cDo they not see the chaos that\u2019s going on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did learn; but I had that prideful-ness, thinking, \u201cThis will <em>never<\/em> happen to me.\u201d And <em>all<\/em> of it happened to me; I was every one of those women in that room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you ready to be a dad? I don\u2019t mean ready, like prepared; I mean, were you: \u201cOkay, this is the time; and this is what I want, so let\u2019s have kids\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I was very excited. I mean, it wasn\u2019t like I got married and, day one, I was like, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to have kids.\u201d But by years, five and six, it was like, \u201cWe want this; we get a chance to leave a legacy.\u201d Yes, we were <em>super<\/em> excited. We had prayed for years, and then we got pregnant. I mean, we couldn\u2019t wait.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was your pregnancy glorious, or challenging, or what were the nine months with CJ like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Not bad. Back then, too, I was really into fitness; so I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, I will be strong and fit.\u201d It\u2019s so funny all the things that were so important to me\u2014now, that I look back and think, \u201cReally, did that matter that much?\u201d\u2014but that\u2019s who I was at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was born three weeks early, and that <em>did<\/em> surprise us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell me about when you went into labor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> [Laughter] Maybe Dave should share this part; because he was, obviously, sleeping hard when, at 37 weeks, I\u2019m trying to wake him up. I told him, \u201cDave! My water broke. We\u2019re having this baby today\/tonight.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I mean it was\/Bob, it was a crazy night. Obviously, we knew that we were going to have a baby in the next month. We did not know that CJ was going to come early. I\u2019m the Detroit Lions chaplain, my first year; wasn\u2019t that our first year?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at the end of our first season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You were only 28.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I was 28 years old. Again, I don\u2019t have a lot of dreams. I\u2019m in dreamland; I can remember\u2014it\u2019s <em>vivid<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s <em>Monday Night Football<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in the Silverdome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in your dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes4, and the Lions are playing the Bears. I don\u2019t know if you remember history, but the Bears had just won the Super Bowl the year before with Jim McMahon and the Super Bowl shuffle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re playing them on Monday night. We have two quarterbacks on our roster, Chuck Long and Joe Ferguson. I\u2019m on the sideline, like I always am as a chaplain; and it\u2019s 80,000\/85,000 people there. It\u2019s <em>Monday Night Football<\/em>; it\u2019s everything you can imagine. Somewhere, in the first or second quarter, our starting quarterback gets a concussion; and they take him to the locker room. Joe Ferguson goes in. Next play\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He never has this kind of detailed dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I never have dreams like this; but this is\/I can still see it. Joe gets sacked and hurt\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014on the next play.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They take him off, literally. I remember Darryl Rogers, our head coach\u2014I could see it in my dream\u2014he\u2019s like looking up and down the sideline. We don\u2019t have a third-string quarterback on our roster. All of a sudden, I hear, \u201cWilson, get in there; suit up!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re going in; you\u2019re our third-string quarterback.\u201d Literally, they called TV time out\u2014this is all in the dream\u2014I get in a uniform, somehow, in the locker room; come running out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s third and ten because we\u2019ve had no completions. I remember I can see, walking from the huddle, I\u2019m getting under the center; I\u2019m, \u201cBlue 15, Blue, Hut-Hut!\u201d We have a bomb called the Jeff Chadwick, our outside receiver. I drop back, and I can see him; he\u2019s behind a guy. I step up, and actually Richard Dense coming in\u2014he was All Pro\u2014and I make him miss. [Laughter] I step over and, in slow-mo, I just let this baby go. I mean, I can see the ball spinning\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014perfect tight spiral. That\u2019s how you know it\u2019s a dream. [Laughter] I can see this ball going up, and you can see 85,000 people standing up; because they can see, \u201cHe\u2019s beat the guy; the ball\u2019s <em>perfect<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The chaplain\u2019s about to throw the big touchdown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They don\u2019t know who this kid is; but man, he\u2019s got a gun; right? The ball\u2019s literally\u2014it\u2019s coming down into his pinkies\u2014you know, outstretched arms. He\u2019s at the five-yard line, looking over. The ball\u2019s coming down; again, of course, it\u2019s in slow-mo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s just about to land in his fingers, and he\u2019s going to score.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s like an inch from his fingers when I hear, \u201cMy water just broke.\u201d [Laughter] I mean, that\u2019s literally what happened. I\u2019m like\/I\u2019m asleep, and I hear this. I can hear it in the distance; I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, no, no, no. Hold on; hold on!\u201d I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019ve heard; but I\u2019m like, \u201cl cannot\u2014this dream can\u2019t end.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough she\u2019s shaking me now. She says, \u201cDave! My water just broke.\u201d I remember thinking, \u201cWater doesn\u2019t <em>break<\/em>: it drips; it flows; it spills. What do you mean, \u2018You\u2019re water?\u2019\u201d Then, of course, I woke up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>He says to me, \u201cI\u2019m having the <em>best<\/em> dream.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d [Laughter] Then we\u2019re driving. We\u2019re anxious; we\u2019re driving to the hospital, and he\u2019s telling me all the details of his dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014while you\u2019re having contractions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes! We didn\u2019t expect my labor to begin like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was just the beginning of expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You got to the hospital; and they said, \u201cOkay, you\u2019re going to be here for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, the nurse comes in; and she looks at me and she checks me. She goes, \u201cOh, honey, you\u2019re going to be here, <em>at least,<\/em> 24 hours.\u201d It\u2019s what?\u2014four in the morning? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, there\u2019s no doctor. They don\u2019t need a doctor yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m going down the hall.\u201d He takes his <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> with him to go to the bathroom. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOh, I know what that means.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI won\u2019t see him for a while.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] I\u2019m in this room all by myself. I\u2019m hooked up to a fetal monitor. All of a sudden, I\u2019m watching. You know, all you can hear is the baby\u2019s heartbeat on the fetal monitor; and you can see the tape of paper coming out. I start having these hard contractions. Every time I have a contraction, I can see the heartrate dip and <em>hear<\/em> the heartrate get much quieter and softer. That started to scare me. Suddenly, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m going to have this baby now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ring for the nurse. She comes in and she watches. She\u2019s looking now at that tape and the fetal monitor. I can see that, \u201cUh-oh, she\u2019s a little alarmed,\u201d\u2014I can tell by her face. She checks me; and she doesn\u2019t even get there, where she says, \u201cThe baby\u2019s coming out.\u201d She runs back. She says, \u201cI have to call the doctor\u201d; she hasn\u2019t even called the doctor. I\u2019m in the room by myself. She says\u2014she leaves the room\u2014she says, \u201cDon\u2019t push!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>yell<\/em> for Dave: \u201cDave Wilson! Get\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can hear it from the bathroom\u2014[Laughter]\u2014some hysterical woman yelling my name\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cUh-oh, I better close up this <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> and get.\u201d I ran down the hall. She\u2019s just about to deliver. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re wheeling me out of the room to have a baby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow; everything went smooth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, Bob, it didn\u2019t; because there\u2019s another expectation. I thought, \u201cOh, we love Jesus; we\u2019ve been praying.\u201d No, it didn\u2019t go smooth; it was a complicated delivery. His cord was around his neck so they whisked him away. He was in NICU; we didn\u2019t even hold him or see him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe doctor came in and he said\u2014and this was a long time\/it felt like; didn\u2019t it?\u2014like maybe \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes\/a half hour; I don\u2019t even know\/an hour\u2014and in that time, if any parent has been there, where you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on, it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> scary. Our outcome was good; and I know a lot of people have had really hard outcomes, and the news hasn\u2019t been what they had hoped for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in that time, finally, the doctor came and he said, \u201cThis was a really traumatic birth; it was really fast. We\u2019re afraid your baby had a skull fracture,\u201d\u2014which even hearing that\u2014\u201ca skull fracture,\u201d what does that mean? He said, \u201cWe need to check his heart and his head.\u201d Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m going to find out what\u2019s going on,\u201d because the doctor left. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m in that room all by myself. I think every parent has come to this point, where I said, \u201cGod, what\u2019s happening right now? Where are You? This isn\u2019t what we <em>hoped<\/em> it would look like. This isn\u2019t what we had expected.\u201d In that time\u2014I have felt this often in my life\u2014where I felt like God was asking me: \u201cAnn, can you surrender your baby\/this child to Me?\u201d That\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because even though I hadn\u2019t even met this baby, face to face, I had this love and connection that I thought, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to surrender him. This is our <em>baby<\/em>.\u201d I felt, already, that protective mother\u2019s heart. I wrestled with that with God. Finally, I said, \u201cWhat else can I do, Lord, but give him to You?\u201d That was a <em>hard<\/em> beginning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t remember talking about it, at that moment; but we both had the same sense. I think every parent feels that or, hopefully, is like, \u201cThis isn\u2019t really ours; this is God\u2019s. He\u2019s a gift to us. We get to be stewards and, hopefully, raise this young man or woman to know the Creator who made them.\u201d But it\u2019s a moment of surrender.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a multiple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it doesn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you surrender multiple times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t ever end. But that night\u2014again, you think\u2014you know, I have expectations: \u201cIt\u2019s going to go well. Everything\u2019s going to be easy.\u201d From the very first second, it was like, \u201cOh my goodness; it is out of your control.\u201d Then you have to go, \u201cOkay, God; I\u2019m going to trust You.\u201d It was not easy, but it was the beginning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, have you had times that you\u2019ve had to surrender your kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We all have times, where we recognize, \u201cThis is out of my control.\u201d When our oldest, after college, said, \u201cI want to go to Asia, and I want to do ministry in Asia,\u201d\u2014and the country she was going into was a country that can be hostile toward Christianity\u2014I remember thinking, \u201cThis is not the dream I had for you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It just so happened that I was watching a movie, not long after this, about the Civil War. There\u2019s a scene with Stonewall Jackson in the movie\u2014General Stonewall Jackson\u2014one of his lieutenants asks him about his legendary composure on the battlefield: \u201cGeneral Jackson, how can you maintain your composure on the battlefield when there are bullets whizzing by and you could be shot in an instant?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStonewall Jackson apparently, historically, said this\/he said, \u201cMy theology teaches me that I am as safe in my bed as I am on the battlefield if I am in the will of God.\u201d I remember hearing that line and thinking, \u201cMy daughter is as safe in another country as she is in Little Rock, if she\u2019s in the will of God.\u201d But as a parent, we feel the ownership\/the responsibility: \u201cIt\u2019s my job to keep you safe,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014especially as a father, I would think, with a daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cIt\u2019s my job to make sure that life goes well for you,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s my job\u2026\u201d\u2014I have these expectations for how life\u2019s supposed to go. I mean, you have here\u2014from the very first moments of life with your son\u2014a reminder from God that this is not completely in your control and that you do have to surrender this child to Him; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You would think\u2014evidently, I didn\u2019t quite get it\u2014because our second child was six-and-a-half weeks early; he was in NICU. Our third son: I went into labor at twenty-one weeks, and then I was on bed rest the whole pregnancy. He was another three weeks early. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cFinally\u201d; I held this baby after he was born\u2014the first one [to be able to do so]\u2014but then I go back into my room as they clean him up. That <em>same<\/em> NICU doctor walks in the room, and I say, \u201cNo, I <em>do not<\/em> want to see you\u201d; because now I knew him really well. He said, \u201cYou\u2019re son stopped breathing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember praying with that last baby, like, \u201cLord, do I not get it?! Do I have to do this every time?\u201d I\u2019ve probably surrendered my kids <em>thousands<\/em> of times since then. I think that\u2019s a good practice to get into, as parents\u2014not only for our kids but our own lives\u2014all the situations that we\u2019re going through, because we can\u2019t control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Talk to us about having expectations\/having plans. I think, at some level, we ought to have expectations; we ought to have a plan for what we\u2019re going to do with our kids. How do we balance this desire to want to be the best parents we can be\/want the best outcome for our kids with the fact that it\u2019s not entirely up to us? How do we deal with that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I think it\u2019s extremely difficult. Because in one sense, it\u2019s one thing to surrender our own lives\u2014and of course, we want to do that\u2014but to surrender your son or daughter\u2019s life is harder. I want more for them than I even do myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I really do. So when I don\u2019t see things going the way I <em>hoped<\/em> they would\u2014whether it\u2019s out of my control or they\u2019re making decisions or whatever\u2014you want to step in and control and you want to maneuver things to get the expectation and the desire you always had to happen. You can\u2019t do it; it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> work. It actually pushes your children, sometimes, away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, like Ann said, a thousand times\/probably a hundred times a day, you\u2019re like, \u201cOkay; God, I\u2019ve got to hand CJ, Austin, and Cody back to You\u201d It\u2019s like Abraham and Isaac. You\u2019re like putting them on the altar and saying, \u201cThey\u2019re not mine; they\u2019re Yours; and I can trust You.\u201d But that is the hardest\u2014I think the hardest thing to do as a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, too, it\u2019s surrendering your expectations. Because I think we have this dream of what it will be like\/of what our kids will be like. I think to partner with God and to say, \u201cGod, what are <em>Your<\/em> expectations?\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s different from my dream of what my child will accomplish or what they\u2019ll be like. Because really, the more we\u2019re in tune with our heavenly Father, who created them in His image, to me, now it becomes this relationship of me partnering with God and finding out who He created them to be, not <em>me<\/em> managing them into <em>my own<\/em> picture of who I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, as you think about it, from that night with CJ in the hospital as a newborn, you have to let go. Then you think\u2014we\u2019re all older parents\/we\u2019re grandparents\u2014we can think of all the moments\u2014you know, when they went to school for the first time: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to let go,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s scary. You can fast forward through; I can remember standing, looking out the front window of our house, when CJ, then Austin, then Cody drove out the driveway in a car at 16. You\u2019re scared to death\u2014oh, my goodness:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014walking down the aisle, taking them to college\u2014you name it\u2014being in the hospital when they had their own kids. It\u2019s like, ever year, there\u2019s a chance\/every day to say, \u201cI\u2019m not in control. You are, God. I\u2019m going to entrust my kids to You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so interesting, too; because I\u2019m recalling when our son had our first grandchild, he and his wife. We were so excited when they told us. They shared it with us in this really creative, exciting way. Then even, as a grandparent, you have expectations: \u201cOh, this is going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d Now you feel even more connected because now this is your child\u2019s heart and his wife\u2019s heart. So when Austin and Kendall lost that first baby, <em>oh<\/em>, I was crushed myself but even more crushed to watch their pain. Then it happened again, and it happened again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Three miscarriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> To watch them hand God their hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014 and their hurts and their hopes\u2014I wanted to protect them; I know, Dave, you really wanted to swoop in and protect them. But to watch God, the heavenly Father, love, take care of, and soothe their broken hearts\u2014that was really something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> At the end of the day, I\u2019d just add this, the title of the book really comes from that perspective: \u201cThere\u2019s no perfect parents; there\u2019s no perfect kids; there\u2019s no perfect parenting process\u2014there\u2019s only One\u2014and His name is Jesus. He\u2019s the Creator who you can trust in the middle of this imperfect parenting journey that we\u2019re on; there is One.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to call the book, <em>Vertical Parenting<\/em>; because it\u2019s really this idea of you\u2019ve got to hand your kids, vertically, to Christ. You\u2019ve got to find life in Him and lead your kids to find that way. But it ended up being <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>; because there is one perfect parent, and His name is Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think this idea of surrender\u2014having expectations but surrendering: \u201cGod, these are Your kids; they\u2019re in Your hands\u2014you do have a responsibility, as parents, to shape, and to mold, and to protect, and to keep safe, and all of those things\u2014those belong to us\u2014but at the end of the day, these are God\u2019s children. You capture this beautifully. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really hope our listeners will get a copy of your book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. We\u2019re taking pre-orders; it releases next week. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to order your copy of <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em> by Dave and Ann Wilson. The subtitle is <em>Ditch Expectations, Embrace Reality, and Discover the One Secret That Will Change Your Parenting<\/em>. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s new book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. Pre-order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order your copy. Again, our number is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, if you\u2019ve not gotten together with other parents and gone through FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series, you guys need to do that; because Dave and Ann are a part of the series. There are others, who have contributed to the series. It\u2019s good, solid, practical counsel on what the core focus of our parenting ought to be. The <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series is available from us, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Get more information when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or order it from us by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Plan to get together with a group of parents who have got kids the same age as yours. Really, the group experience is a big part of the value of going through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> content. Again, find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how critical it is for us to have the right goal in mind\/the right mission as we\u2019re seeking to raise our kids. We\u2019re talking about parenting this week with Dave and Ann Wilson. We\u2019ll continue the conversation tomorrow. I hope you\u2019re able to join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Got some extra help today from Bruce Goff and, of course, our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:57"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.42M"],"filesize_raw":["28752948"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306807.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306807.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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parents, we often think about the future and what expectations and dreams we have for our children. Dave and Ann Wilson give insight on having plans for our kids, while understanding God has a bigger one.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dave and Ann Wilsonremember becoming parents for the first time. Their parenting journey got off to an unexpected and challenging start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Finally, the doctor came and he said, \u201cThis was a really traumatic birth; it was really fast. We\u2019re afraid your baby has a skull fracture.\u201d I\u2019m in that room all by myself and I said, \u201cGod, what\u2019s happening right now? Where are You? This isn\u2019t what we <em>hoped<\/em> it would look like. This isn\u2019t what we expected.\u201d In that time, I felt like God was asking me: \u201cCan you surrender this child to Me?\u201d That\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. A big part of parenting is recognizing that your kids don\u2019t belong to you; they belong to God. So the right first step is to surrender your kids to God. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dave and Ann Wilson. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t4\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve had people, over the years, who have told me they think it\u2019s really smart, if you\u2019re going to write a book on parenting, wait until your kids are grown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014are 50 years old. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I\u2019m thinking. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cMy kids are grown; they\u2019re all married. I\u2019m still not sure I\u2019m ready to write that book on parenting.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me neither.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you just did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We did; what are we thinking?![Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, our oldest is 34. We figured, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s long enough.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have just finished a book called <em>No Perfect Parents. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was mostly about Ann. I was sort of the perfect parent. [Laughter] But I was married to an imperfect one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ll say, \u201cAmen,\u201d to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you really, looking back on your parenting years, lots of lessons learned that you\u2019re just thinking, \u201cI wish somebody had told us these things when we were starting the journey\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, and I think that I\u2019m not sure that I could have heard it and put it into action. But I do wish that I would have had a mentor. I think I had that, time to time; but I needed somebody continually to be pouring into me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was a camp counsellor for six summers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, so you\u2019re an expert.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I thought; I thought, \u201cI could be a parent. I was a camp counsellor for six summers. I mean, what else is there other than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s harder than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou take these kids down to the creek. [Laughter] You play around for about an hour. Then you take them back to the camp, and then it\u2019s nap time. I mean, I\u2019ve done this! It\u2019s simple.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really do think I went into parenting with the idea that that\u2019s what you do: \u201cYou just show your kids a good time, and you have fun.\u201d I don\u2019t think I had much of a vision for what I was supposed to be, as a dad, or what parenting was supposed to look like, other than: \u201cKeep them safe and get them to 21, and make sure they\u2019re in decent shape when you get them there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s not as bad as <em>my<\/em> goal. I was like, \u201cMy kids are going to be happy, and popular, and athletic\u201d; because that\u2019s what my parents were like, growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s Ann\u2019s perspective. I was scared to death, because I don\u2019t remember ever being around my dad; so I really didn\u2019t know what parenting looked like. My mom was great and loved me; but when we brought our first son home, I was really scared. I was like: \u201cI need this book. Where\u2019s that book?\u201d \u201cI need something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You need somebody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI need something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the things you guys talk about\/you really start this book with a look at the expectations we bring into parenting. But take us back; you\u2019d been married how long before you found out you were pregnant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014five-and-a-half years. We were <em>planning<\/em> everything. We were on staff with Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We had finished seminary. We had been married long enough; so we\u2019re thinking, \u201cOkay;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cwe\u2019re ready.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014it\u2019s about time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We thought we were ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had kind of held off for a little while: \u201cWe\u2019re going to have some years together; get these things out of the way before we have kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m kind of an achiever; so I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m pregnant. I\u2019m going to make sure I do all the right things.\u201d My first thought was, \u201cWell, what should I do?\u2014I should learn from other women.\u201d I got myself into this small group. We were still in seminary, and I was newly pregnant. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this Bible study for moms, and I will learn from these moms what it\u2019s like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this morning because I was nervous. I\u2019d never been to a mom\u2019s Bible study. I dressed in this really cute outfit, because I wanted to <em>impress<\/em> them. I wasn\u2019t really showing yet; and I thought, \u201cOh, I wish I was showing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walk into the door of this Bible study. It was like World War II had gone off in the room [Laughter]: there were diapers, and swings, and bassinets, and screaming\/like screaming and crying. I look over, and this young mom; I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat is she wearing? It looks like she just got this shirt from the bottom of the laundry basket\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cthat\u2019s been there for like three months.\u201d Not kidding; she smells because she has spit up; it\u2019s rolling down her shoulder. The other thing I thought, \u201cOh my goodness, she has a Cheerio<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> stuck in her hair\u201d; [Laughter] but she seemed so happy\u2014and all the moms\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cDo they not see the chaos that\u2019s going on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did learn; but I had that prideful-ness, thinking, \u201cThis will <em>never<\/em> happen to me.\u201d And <em>all<\/em> of it happened to me; I was every one of those women in that room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you ready to be a dad? I don\u2019t mean ready, like prepared; I mean, were you: \u201cOkay, this is the time; and this is what I want, so let\u2019s have kids\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I was very excited. I mean, it wasn\u2019t like I got married and, day one, I was like, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to have kids.\u201d But by years, five and six, it was like, \u201cWe want this; we get a chance to leave a legacy.\u201d Yes, we were <em>super<\/em> excited. We had prayed for years, and then we got pregnant. I mean, we couldn\u2019t wait.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was your pregnancy glorious, or challenging, or what were the nine months with CJ like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Not bad. Back then, too, I was really into fitness; so I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, I will be strong and fit.\u201d It\u2019s so funny all the things that were so important to me\u2014now, that I look back and think, \u201cReally, did that matter that much?\u201d\u2014but that\u2019s who I was at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was born three weeks early, and that <em>did<\/em> surprise us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell me about when you went into labor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> [Laughter] Maybe Dave should share this part; because he was, obviously, sleeping hard when, at 37 weeks, I\u2019m trying to wake him up. I told him, \u201cDave! My water broke. We\u2019re having this baby today\/tonight.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I mean it was\/Bob, it was a crazy night. Obviously, we knew that we were going to have a baby in the next month. We did not know that CJ was going to come early. I\u2019m the Detroit Lions chaplain, my first year; wasn\u2019t that our first year?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at the end of our first season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You were only 28.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I was 28 years old. Again, I don\u2019t have a lot of dreams. I\u2019m in dreamland; I can remember\u2014it\u2019s <em>vivid<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s <em>Monday Night Football<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in the Silverdome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in your dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes4, and the Lions are playing the Bears. I don\u2019t know if you remember history, but the Bears had just won the Super Bowl the year before with Jim McMahon and the Super Bowl shuffle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re playing them on Monday night. We have two quarterbacks on our roster, Chuck Long and Joe Ferguson. I\u2019m on the sideline, like I always am as a chaplain; and it\u2019s 80,000\/85,000 people there. It\u2019s <em>Monday Night Football<\/em>; it\u2019s everything you can imagine. Somewhere, in the first or second quarter, our starting quarterback gets a concussion; and they take him to the locker room. Joe Ferguson goes in. Next play\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He never has this kind of detailed dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I never have dreams like this; but this is\/I can still see it. Joe gets sacked and hurt\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014on the next play.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They take him off, literally. I remember Darryl Rogers, our head coach\u2014I could see it in my dream\u2014he\u2019s like looking up and down the sideline. We don\u2019t have a third-string quarterback on our roster. All of a sudden, I hear, \u201cWilson, get in there; suit up!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re going in; you\u2019re our third-string quarterback.\u201d Literally, they called TV time out\u2014this is all in the dream\u2014I get in a uniform, somehow, in the locker room; come running out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s third and ten because we\u2019ve had no completions. I remember I can see, walking from the huddle, I\u2019m getting under the center; I\u2019m, \u201cBlue 15, Blue, Hut-Hut!\u201d We have a bomb called the Jeff Chadwick, our outside receiver. I drop back, and I can see him; he\u2019s behind a guy. I step up, and actually Richard Dense coming in\u2014he was All Pro\u2014and I make him miss. [Laughter] I step over and, in slow-mo, I just let this baby go. I mean, I can see the ball spinning\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014perfect tight spiral. That\u2019s how you know it\u2019s a dream. [Laughter] I can see this ball going up, and you can see 85,000 people standing up; because they can see, \u201cHe\u2019s beat the guy; the ball\u2019s <em>perfect<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The chaplain\u2019s about to throw the big touchdown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They don\u2019t know who this kid is; but man, he\u2019s got a gun; right? The ball\u2019s literally\u2014it\u2019s coming down into his pinkies\u2014you know, outstretched arms. He\u2019s at the five-yard line, looking over. The ball\u2019s coming down; again, of course, it\u2019s in slow-mo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s just about to land in his fingers, and he\u2019s going to score.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s like an inch from his fingers when I hear, \u201cMy water just broke.\u201d [Laughter] I mean, that\u2019s literally what happened. I\u2019m like\/I\u2019m asleep, and I hear this. I can hear it in the distance; I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, no, no, no. Hold on; hold on!\u201d I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019ve heard; but I\u2019m like, \u201cl cannot\u2014this dream can\u2019t end.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough she\u2019s shaking me now. She says, \u201cDave! My water just broke.\u201d I remember thinking, \u201cWater doesn\u2019t <em>break<\/em>: it drips; it flows; it spills. What do you mean, \u2018You\u2019re water?\u2019\u201d Then, of course, I woke up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>He says to me, \u201cI\u2019m having the <em>best<\/em> dream.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d [Laughter] Then we\u2019re driving. We\u2019re anxious; we\u2019re driving to the hospital, and he\u2019s telling me all the details of his dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014while you\u2019re having contractions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, yes! We didn\u2019t expect my labor to begin like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was just the beginning of expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You got to the hospital; and they said, \u201cOkay, you\u2019re going to be here for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, the nurse comes in; and she looks at me and she checks me. She goes, \u201cOh, honey, you\u2019re going to be here, <em>at least,<\/em> 24 hours.\u201d It\u2019s what?\u2014four in the morning? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, there\u2019s no doctor. They don\u2019t need a doctor yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m going down the hall.\u201d He takes his <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> with him to go to the bathroom. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOh, I know what that means.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI won\u2019t see him for a while.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] I\u2019m in this room all by myself. I\u2019m hooked up to a fetal monitor. All of a sudden, I\u2019m watching. You know, all you can hear is the baby\u2019s heartbeat on the fetal monitor; and you can see the tape of paper coming out. I start having these hard contractions. Every time I have a contraction, I can see the heartrate dip and <em>hear<\/em> the heartrate get much quieter and softer. That started to scare me. Suddenly, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m going to have this baby now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ring for the nurse. She comes in and she watches. She\u2019s looking now at that tape and the fetal monitor. I can see that, \u201cUh-oh, she\u2019s a little alarmed,\u201d\u2014I can tell by her face. She checks me; and she doesn\u2019t even get there, where she says, \u201cThe baby\u2019s coming out.\u201d She runs back. She says, \u201cI have to call the doctor\u201d; she hasn\u2019t even called the doctor. I\u2019m in the room by myself. She says\u2014she leaves the room\u2014she says, \u201cDon\u2019t push!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>yell<\/em> for Dave: \u201cDave Wilson! Get\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can hear it from the bathroom\u2014[Laughter]\u2014some hysterical woman yelling my name\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cUh-oh, I better close up this <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> and get.\u201d I ran down the hall. She\u2019s just about to deliver. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re wheeling me out of the room to have a baby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow; everything went smooth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, Bob, it didn\u2019t; because there\u2019s another expectation. I thought, \u201cOh, we love Jesus; we\u2019ve been praying.\u201d No, it didn\u2019t go smooth; it was a complicated delivery. His cord was around his neck so they whisked him away. He was in NICU; we didn\u2019t even hold him or see him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe doctor came in and he said\u2014and this was a long time\/it felt like; didn\u2019t it?\u2014like maybe \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes\/a half hour; I don\u2019t even know\/an hour\u2014and in that time, if any parent has been there, where you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on, it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> scary. Our outcome was good; and I know a lot of people have had really hard outcomes, and the news hasn\u2019t been what they had hoped for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in that time, finally, the doctor came and he said, \u201cThis was a really traumatic birth; it was really fast. We\u2019re afraid your baby had a skull fracture,\u201d\u2014which even hearing that\u2014\u201ca skull fracture,\u201d what does that mean? He said, \u201cWe need to check his heart and his head.\u201d Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m going to find out what\u2019s going on,\u201d because the doctor left. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m in that room all by myself. I think every parent has come to this point, where I said, \u201cGod, what\u2019s happening right now? Where are You? This isn\u2019t what we <em>hoped<\/em> it would look like. This isn\u2019t what we had expected.\u201d In that time\u2014I have felt this often in my life\u2014where I felt like God was asking me: \u201cAnn, can you surrender your baby\/this child to Me?\u201d That\u2019s a <em>hard<\/em> thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because even though I hadn\u2019t even met this baby, face to face, I had this love and connection that I thought, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to surrender him. This is our <em>baby<\/em>.\u201d I felt, already, that protective mother\u2019s heart. I wrestled with that with God. Finally, I said, \u201cWhat else can I do, Lord, but give him to You?\u201d That was a <em>hard<\/em> beginning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t remember talking about it, at that moment; but we both had the same sense. I think every parent feels that or, hopefully, is like, \u201cThis isn\u2019t really ours; this is God\u2019s. He\u2019s a gift to us. We get to be stewards and, hopefully, raise this young man or woman to know the Creator who made them.\u201d But it\u2019s a moment of surrender.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a multiple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it doesn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you surrender multiple times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t ever end. But that night\u2014again, you think\u2014you know, I have expectations: \u201cIt\u2019s going to go well. Everything\u2019s going to be easy.\u201d From the very first second, it was like, \u201cOh my goodness; it is out of your control.\u201d Then you have to go, \u201cOkay, God; I\u2019m going to trust You.\u201d It was not easy, but it was the beginning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, have you had times that you\u2019ve had to surrender your kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We all have times, where we recognize, \u201cThis is out of my control.\u201d When our oldest, after college, said, \u201cI want to go to Asia, and I want to do ministry in Asia,\u201d\u2014and the country she was going into was a country that can be hostile toward Christianity\u2014I remember thinking, \u201cThis is not the dream I had for you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It just so happened that I was watching a movie, not long after this, about the Civil War. There\u2019s a scene with Stonewall Jackson in the movie\u2014General Stonewall Jackson\u2014one of his lieutenants asks him about his legendary composure on the battlefield: \u201cGeneral Jackson, how can you maintain your composure on the battlefield when there are bullets whizzing by and you could be shot in an instant?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStonewall Jackson apparently, historically, said this\/he said, \u201cMy theology teaches me that I am as safe in my bed as I am on the battlefield if I am in the will of God.\u201d I remember hearing that line and thinking, \u201cMy daughter is as safe in another country as she is in Little Rock, if she\u2019s in the will of God.\u201d But as a parent, we feel the ownership\/the responsibility: \u201cIt\u2019s my job to keep you safe,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014especially as a father, I would think, with a daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cIt\u2019s my job to make sure that life goes well for you,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s my job\u2026\u201d\u2014I have these expectations for how life\u2019s supposed to go. I mean, you have here\u2014from the very first moments of life with your son\u2014a reminder from God that this is not completely in your control and that you do have to surrender this child to Him; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You would think\u2014evidently, I didn\u2019t quite get it\u2014because our second child was six-and-a-half weeks early; he was in NICU. Our third son: I went into labor at twenty-one weeks, and then I was on bed rest the whole pregnancy. He was another three weeks early. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cFinally\u201d; I held this baby after he was born\u2014the first one [to be able to do so]\u2014but then I go back into my room as they clean him up. That <em>same<\/em> NICU doctor walks in the room, and I say, \u201cNo, I <em>do not<\/em> want to see you\u201d; because now I knew him really well. He said, \u201cYou\u2019re son stopped breathing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember praying with that last baby, like, \u201cLord, do I not get it?! Do I have to do this every time?\u201d I\u2019ve probably surrendered my kids <em>thousands<\/em> of times since then. I think that\u2019s a good practice to get into, as parents\u2014not only for our kids but our own lives\u2014all the situations that we\u2019re going through, because we can\u2019t control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Talk to us about having expectations\/having plans. I think, at some level, we ought to have expectations; we ought to have a plan for what we\u2019re going to do with our kids. How do we balance this desire to want to be the best parents we can be\/want the best outcome for our kids with the fact that it\u2019s not entirely up to us? How do we deal with that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I think it\u2019s extremely difficult. Because in one sense, it\u2019s one thing to surrender our own lives\u2014and of course, we want to do that\u2014but to surrender your son or daughter\u2019s life is harder. I want more for them than I even do myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I really do. So when I don\u2019t see things going the way I <em>hoped<\/em> they would\u2014whether it\u2019s out of my control or they\u2019re making decisions or whatever\u2014you want to step in and control and you want to maneuver things to get the expectation and the desire you always had to happen. You can\u2019t do it; it <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> work. It actually pushes your children, sometimes, away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, like Ann said, a thousand times\/probably a hundred times a day, you\u2019re like, \u201cOkay; God, I\u2019ve got to hand CJ, Austin, and Cody back to You\u201d It\u2019s like Abraham and Isaac. You\u2019re like putting them on the altar and saying, \u201cThey\u2019re not mine; they\u2019re Yours; and I can trust You.\u201d But that is the hardest\u2014I think the hardest thing to do as a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think, too, it\u2019s surrendering your expectations. Because I think we have this dream of what it will be like\/of what our kids will be like. I think to partner with God and to say, \u201cGod, what are <em>Your<\/em> expectations?\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s different from my dream of what my child will accomplish or what they\u2019ll be like. Because really, the more we\u2019re in tune with our heavenly Father, who created them in His image, to me, now it becomes this relationship of me partnering with God and finding out who He created them to be, not <em>me<\/em> managing them into <em>my own<\/em> picture of who I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, as you think about it, from that night with CJ in the hospital as a newborn, you have to let go. Then you think\u2014we\u2019re all older parents\/we\u2019re grandparents\u2014we can think of all the moments\u2014you know, when they went to school for the first time: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to let go,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s scary. You can fast forward through; I can remember standing, looking out the front window of our house, when CJ, then Austin, then Cody drove out the driveway in a car at 16. You\u2019re scared to death\u2014oh, my goodness:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014walking down the aisle, taking them to college\u2014you name it\u2014being in the hospital when they had their own kids. It\u2019s like, ever year, there\u2019s a chance\/every day to say, \u201cI\u2019m not in control. You are, God. I\u2019m going to entrust my kids to You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so interesting, too; because I\u2019m recalling when our son had our first grandchild, he and his wife. We were so excited when they told us. They shared it with us in this really creative, exciting way. Then even, as a grandparent, you have expectations: \u201cOh, this is going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d Now you feel even more connected because now this is your child\u2019s heart and his wife\u2019s heart. So when Austin and Kendall lost that first baby, <em>oh<\/em>, I was crushed myself but even more crushed to watch their pain. Then it happened again, and it happened again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Three miscarriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> To watch them hand God their hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014 and their hurts and their hopes\u2014I wanted to protect them; I know, Dave, you really wanted to swoop in and protect them. But to watch God, the heavenly Father, love, take care of, and soothe their broken hearts\u2014that was really something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> At the end of the day, I\u2019d just add this, the title of the book really comes from that perspective: \u201cThere\u2019s no perfect parents; there\u2019s no perfect kids; there\u2019s no perfect parenting process\u2014there\u2019s only One\u2014and His name is Jesus. He\u2019s the Creator who you can trust in the middle of this imperfect parenting journey that we\u2019re on; there is One.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to call the book, <em>Vertical Parenting<\/em>; because it\u2019s really this idea of you\u2019ve got to hand your kids, vertically, to Christ. You\u2019ve got to find life in Him and lead your kids to find that way. But it ended up being <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>; because there is one perfect parent, and His name is Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think this idea of surrender\u2014having expectations but surrendering: \u201cGod, these are Your kids; they\u2019re in Your hands\u2014you do have a responsibility, as parents, to shape, and to mold, and to protect, and to keep safe, and all of those things\u2014those belong to us\u2014but at the end of the day, these are God\u2019s children. You capture this beautifully. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really hope our listeners will get a copy of your book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. We\u2019re taking pre-orders; it releases next week. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to order your copy of <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em> by Dave and Ann Wilson. The subtitle is <em>Ditch Expectations, Embrace Reality, and Discover the One Secret That Will Change Your Parenting<\/em>. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s new book, <em>No Perfect Parents<\/em>. Pre-order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order your copy. Again, our number is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, if you\u2019ve not gotten together with other parents and gone through FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series, you guys need to do that; because Dave and Ann are a part of the series. There are others, who have contributed to the series. It\u2019s good, solid, practical counsel on what the core focus of our parenting ought to be. The <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series is available from us, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Get more information when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or order it from us by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Plan to get together with a group of parents who have got kids the same age as yours. Really, the group experience is a big part of the value of going through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> content. Again, find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how critical it is for us to have the right goal in mind\/the right mission as we\u2019re seeking to raise our kids. We\u2019re talking about parenting this week with Dave and Ann Wilson. We\u2019ll continue the conversation tomorrow. I hope you\u2019re able to join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Got some extra help today from Bruce Goff and, of course, our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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