{"id":306805,"date":"2021-04-01T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/neighboring\/"},"modified":"2021-04-01T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2021-04-01T11:00:04","slug":"neighboring","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/neighboring\/","title":{"rendered":"Neighboring"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We know we are to &#8220;love our neighbors,&#8221; but what does it look like to love the actual neighbors who live around us? On FamilyLife Today, join hosts Dave and Ann Wilson as they talk with authors, Chris and Elizabeth McKinney, about their book, &#8220;Placed For a Purpose,&#8221; and how to practice the art of neighboring.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tRosaria Butterfield explains how hospitality can be used as a bridge in, \u201cThe Gospel Comes With a House Key.\u201d\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/series\/the-gospel-comes-with-a-house-key\/<br \/>\n \tRead \u201c10 Ways to Share the Gospel Without Being Pushy.\u201d\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/faith\/essentials-faith\/reaching-out\/10-ways-to-share-the-gospel-without-being-pushy\/<br \/>\n \tTwo Ways to Live: The Choice We All Face.\u00a0 http:\/\/www.twowaystolive.com\/<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We know we are to &#8220;love our neighbors,&#8221; but what does it look like to love the actual neighbors who live around us? Authors, Chris and Elizabeth McKinney explain how to practice the art of neighboring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-04-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:12","filesize":"25.82M","filesize_raw":"27069389","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867,2822,2821],"tags":[4502],"podcast_series":[8436],"cwp_profile":[9704],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306805","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-reaching-out","tag-hospitality","podcast_series-placed-for-a-purpose","cwp_profile-chris-and-elizabeth-mckinney","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306805\/neighboring","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306805\/neighboring","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3ziUyJyv7I\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/neighboring\/\">Neighboring<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/neighboring\/embed\/#?secret=3ziUyJyv7I\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Neighboring&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3ziUyJyv7I\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"We know we are to \"love our neighbors,\" but what does it look like to love the actual neighbors who live around us? Authors, Chris and Elizabeth McKinney explain how to practice the art of neighboring.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you think of yourself as a good neighbor? Chris and Elizabeth McKinney say, over time, the definition of what that means has changed.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>The Harvard School of Medicine did a really interesting study about ten years ago, where they found a survey that they had done in the \u201950s or \u201960s about what it meant to be a good neighbor. To be a good neighbor means you know your next-door neighbor; you can introduce new neighbors to the current neighbors; you can rely on your next-door neighbors for help.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>You maybe bring a pie when the new neighbors move in.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; so ten years ago, they sent out the same survey. The responses they got back were basically: \u201cTo be a good neighbor in our culture today is to basically leave people alone.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; no fooling about any of that. Chris and Elizabeth McKinney join us today to talk about the purpose for being where you are\/for being a good neighbor in our culture today. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019m just curious: \u201cWould you\/if I gave you a sheet of paper and asked you to write down the names of\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, no. I know where you\u2019re going with this!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwrite down the names of ten of the people who live on your street\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Can we include kids?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No! No; \u201cI\u2019ve got\/the names of the moms and the dads; would you know ten?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We\u2019re on a cul-de-sac, so there are only two other houses.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, there are four. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What?!\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>A cul-de-sac has more than two houses! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>There\u2019s Dean and Nancy, there\u2019s Dave and Ann, and there\u2019s Scott and Tina. That\u2019s it! That\u2019s the cul-de-sac! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>What about the Paillons [spelling uncertain]?\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I already got six names right there, counting us. How am I doing, Bob? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just wondering\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, the Paillons! Yes, there\u2019s another one!\u2014Nick and Pam! So there\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay, okay. Can <em>you<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I <em>cannot<\/em>. In fact\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>No!\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t do ten.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014I mean, I know the people on this side; I know the people on the other side. There\u2019s not a whole lot of interaction. We did go to the neighborhood block party that we had out in the street about six\/seven months ago, and visited with all the neighbors. We had nice, cordial conversations. We wave as we go by, you know; and I see their kids and slow down for their kids. But we live in this hermetically sealed-off culture.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay, here\u2019s a question: \u201cDo you know the neighbors, growing up, on the street?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely!\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So do I; I could name 20.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>My parents\/we did stuff together. I mean, they would\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>We helped each other.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So does that mean that you were nice as kids, and you\u2019re mean as adults? What does that mean?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It means that there\u2019s been a culture shift.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I was going to say; we live in a new culture.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I think we have to figure out how we are countercultural in all of this.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Be a good neighbor, yes. We need to talk to somebody about that, Bob.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You got anybody?\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know; I think they\u2019re sitting in our studio right now. [Laughter] Chris and Elizabeth McKinney\u2014right?\u2014\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014wrote a book about being a great neighbor. The title of your book is <em>Placed for a Purpose<\/em>, which is really all about being a good neighbor.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Thank you!\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>It\u2019s so good to be here.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You\u2019re on Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> staff.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>We are, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Cru\u2014what\u2019s it called?\u2014Cru City?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Cru City, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; what does that mean?\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>We\u2019ve been at Cru for 20 years.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What\u2019s Cru City mean?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>City is a city focus. We did campus ministry within Cru for 17 years, and that was clearly a college-student focus. But then we transitioned to Cru City, where we get to have more of a broad city focus. There are different ways that City tries to reach out to the cities.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys live in Missouri\u2014in the Columbia, Missouri, area\/Mizzou\u2014where the University of Missouri is. You were telling us, Chris, that Cru was kind of all you\u2019ve ever known since you were a kid.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>That\u2019s right, yes. I\u2019m a staff kid\/proud staff kid. I grew up on staff\u2014my parents were at Kansas State University\u2014they were campus staff over there. Then, in 1990, when I was ten years old\u2014we have a daughter, actually, who\u2019s ten; so I looked at her the other day and was like, \u201cGinger, how would you feel if I told you, right now, we\u2019re moving Budapest, Hungary?\u201d\u2014because that\u2019s how old I was when my parents moved us overseas to Budapest, Hungary, to be missionaries to college students over there.\n\nSo yes, it\u2019s cool that they did a great job of keeping us involved in the ministry and keeping us a part of it. College students were in our home constantly. I had this great experience with college students, who loved Jesus and wanted to follow Jesus. That drew me to want to continue to be on staff, like my parents, as well.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s actually good to hear somebody say, \u201cI was raised in a missionary family and it was a really, really good experience.\u201d\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You often hear\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014a lot of people, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; so would your daughter want to go to Budapest at ten?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>You know, she was like, \u201cNo, that\u2019s okay; I\u2019ll pass on that.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s interesting\u2014your book is about\u2014I love one of the lines in your book that really was such a unique way to say this\u2014and I think it sets up what the book\u2019s about and what we\u2019re going to talk about today: \u201cYour address is not an accident, and neither is your neighbors.\u201d I\u2019ve never thought of it that way, but explain: \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve seen, personally, how God has sovereignly placed us\u2014our exact house\/our exact lot\u2014and sovereignly placed the neighbors beside us, just through our relationships with our neighbors and seeing our lives be enriched.\n\nWe got into neighboring in the most stressful season of our lives. Chris was directing the ministry at Mizzou, and he was also commuting to seminary over an eight-year time period.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u2014in St. Louis.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And you had little kids.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>I had four kids in five years, four little girls. I was drowning in diapers; I was a young mom, and I needed my neighbors. I needed to have people right around me\u2014not ten or fifteen minutes away, even where the college campus was\u2014I needed people right now\u2014right?\u2014in real time.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That can be hard; because we\u2019re living in a day and age, where people pull into their garages; they close the garage door; and sometimes\u2014 specially, in the winter, if you\u2019re in a cold climate\u2014you don\u2019t even see them till the spring.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>How in the world, if you needed them, did you find them?\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Well, for us, it started with a fish fry. We like food; we\u2019re kind of foodies in that way. One of our neighbors had a bunch of fryers: Bingo. He used to play basketball; he\u2019s a big guy. He\u2019s the only person my husband\u2019s ever been around who makes him feel small. [Laughter] Bingo had all these fryers; he said, \u201cLet\u2019s fry up some fish!\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wait, wait, wait; his name\u2019s Bingo?\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>His name\u2019s Bingo, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you meant \u201cBingo! He had had fish fryers!\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Me, too!\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>No, no, no! No, \u201cBingo!\u201d Bingo brought over a bunch of fryers. We made a bunch of sauces and, really, for the people right in our little cul-de-sac area. It was just a few families, and it was small; it was a lot of fun.\n\nLike I said, we weren\u2019t looking for more to add to our plate; we weren\u2019t looking for more ministry to do. We just had this sense of our lives would be enriched by getting to know our neighbors, and that\u2019s exactly what happened.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You had your own needs that you needed to have\u2014\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Yes; oh, we had a lot of needs. We <em>still<\/em> have a lot of needs. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I like that, though, because you didn\u2019t have an agenda, like: \u201cOh, I\u2019m going to win my neighbors to Jesus.\u201d It was more of: \u201cI want to <em>know<\/em> my neighbors, love them; and I need help, too.\u201d\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Right.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How did that develop? I mean, the fish fry happens. Did you end up connecting with a couple, and then inviting them over, or vice versa?\u2014or where does it go from there?\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>From there, that spring we had a little Easter egg hunt. We had about six kids, which you know we had four\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so if that tells you anything\u2014it was very humble beginnings. But at that Easter egg hunt, a couple came, named Nathan and Kathy. They said to us afterwards, \u201cHey, if you\u2019d ever want to do a few things for the neighborhood, let us know; we could help.\u201d\n\nWe looked at them and said, \u201cLike what?!\u201d [Laughter] They said, \u201cI don\u2019t know, like a block party or something like that.\u201d So we did. We threw together a little block party\u2014asked people: \u201cYou bring the tablecloths,\u201d \u201cYou bring the trash bags,\u201d \u201cYou bring the whatever,\u201d\u2014and it was very potluck style. From there, we found that our neighbors were just as hungry for community as we were. Really, it started to explode; wouldn\u2019t you say?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes. Yes, yes; I mean, people just started coming to these events. We really saw the events were the excuse to get to know our neighbors. We didn\u2019t see it as this \u201cministry,\u201d initially.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>One of the things you say in the book is: \u201cNeighboring is a part of God\u2019s big redemptive story.\u201d What do you mean by that?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; this kind of touches back to what you guys were saying about how, maybe growing up, you knew the neighbors around you. The Harvard School of Medicine did a really interesting study about ten years ago, where they found some surveys from a social survey that they had done in the \u201950s or \u201960s about what it meant to be a good neighbor.\n\nThey looked at the data; and basically, the responses back were what you guys were talking about, maybe, and have experienced: you knew your next-door\u2014to be a good neighbor means you know your next-door neighbor; you can introduce new neighbors to the current neighbors; you can rely on your next-door neighbors for help\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You maybe bring a pie when the new neighbors move in.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; you invite them to the activities that you have going on in your life.\n\nThen, about ten years ago, they sent out the same survey; and they said, \u201cWhat does it mean to be a good neighbor?\u201d The responses they got back were basically: \u201cTo be a good neighbor in our culture today is to basically leave people alone.\u201d\n\nWe say: \u201cTo be a good neighbor, we need to break out of that kind of cultural narrative and story and live out of God\u2019s story of redemption, which is demonstrated by Jesus coming to us. It\u2019s this movement towards us\/towards others, to believe that your address isn\u2019t an accident\u2014that you\u2019ve been placed for a purpose\u2014and God is working in your neighborhood, and He wants to use you in that neighborhood.\u201d\n\nYou can see the different\u2014how you\u2019re going to show up in your neighborhood is going to be a lot different if you\u2019re living out of God\u2019s story of redemption versus the cultural story of what it means to be a good neighbor.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys are intentional; you\u2019re living life on mission. I mean, you\u2019re a part of Cru staff: so this is what you do; this is what you\u2019ve given your lives to. It\u2019s hard to kind of bifurcate: \u201cThis is life,\u201d and \u201cThis is ministry,\u201d\u2014they all fit together.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You said you started this because you really wanted to get to know your neighbors. At the same time, in the back of your mind, there had to be: \u201c\u2026and it might lead to spiritual conversations.\u201d How do you keep the neighboring priority and the ministry objective in proper tension? Because some people are like\u2014you were saying, Ann\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cThis is our project, and our goal is to win our neighbors to Christ. We don\u2019t really care about getting to <em>know<\/em> them; we just want to win them to Jesus.\u201d How have you processed that?\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>We talk about motives in neighboring. It\u2019s been helpful for us to have ultimate motives. In our book, we contrast ultimate versus ulterior motives. With ultimate motives, we have this ultimate motive that your neighbors would come to know God through a relationship with Jesus\u2014that is the goal\u2014so we don\u2019t live as undercover Christians in our neighborhood. We live out our faith: we serve; we love; we invest in friendships with that ultimate goal. What that does is it frees us up to enjoy every part of the process and every part of those relationships.\n\nWhen you have <em>ulterior<\/em> motives, there is a sneakiness to what you\u2019re trying to do. Any act of love, service, or neighboring is done with the express kind of intention of getting in a church invite, or trying to talk about your faith; and it doesn\u2019t really count unless that happens.\n\nHaving that ultimate motive has really freed us up to enjoy every aspect of neighboring and getting to know our neighbors.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>There\u2019s kind of that bait-and-switch element when you have ulterior motives. In a way, you only care about the spiritual aspect of their lives versus, I think, when you have ultimate motives\u2014and of course you want them to know Jesus\u2014but you\u2019re also caring about the whole thing: you\u2019re caring about the good of the neighborhood; you\u2019re caring about their aging parents; you\u2019re caring about their experience of parenting, or grad school, or whatever it is.\n\nPeople are aware if there\u2019s kind of that bait-and-switch. I mean, maybe even we have experienced that on the other end, of being the project. No one wants to feel like that; people want to be in mutual relationships.\n\nI think when you live out of ultimate motives\u2014if you aren\u2019t having ulterior motives\u2014and your neighbors see that you do want them to know Jesus, they\u2019re okay with that; because they know you do care about the whole thing.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; I just wondered if your neighbor\u2014that you\u2019ve been getting to know for months or whatever\u2014doesn\u2019t end up falling on her knees in your front yard and getting baptized in your pool, if you feel like a failure. Do you ever feel like, \u201cWow; all we did was become a good neighbor. They didn\u2019t take another spiritual step\u201d? Are you still good with that?\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>I think, for a long time, we wondered\u2014as things were getting rolling, and we were watching God work\u2014\u201cWhere\u2019s this all going? Is it okay to just have someone over for dinner; and if the conversation doesn\u2019t go to church or to something that\u2019s more overtly spiritual, is that alright?\u201d or \u201cChris shares about slinging cotton candy for hours; is that valuable?\u201d\n\nI think, for us, a turning point was, one Sunday, we walked into church. There was a family that, if we made a list of a lot of neighbors\u2014we know quite a few\u2014these would have been probably the <em>last<\/em> people we would have expected to see at church. We knew them from the block parties; we knew them from the different events; and it was kind of like a head turn, like you know, \u201cOh my goodness!\u201d As we walked in, I couldn\u2019t focus on the worship music; I couldn\u2019t focus on the message. I got onto Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and messaged her\/the wife and said, \u201cDo you come here often? I haven\u2019t seen you here before!\u201d\n\nShe wrote me back immediately\u2014she was probably in her car\u2014and she said, \u201cWe started coming to church for our kids, because they told us that they didn\u2019t believe in God. In the process, we\u2019ve found Him ourselves,\u201d\u2014and basically\u2014\u201cAre you in a small group? If so, can we join?\u201d It was like, \u201cYes, yes, yes!\u201d The next Sunday, they walked through their backyard, through our backyard; and they had instant community. That was about four years ago, and they\u2019re still in our small group.\n\nIt was one of those times, where we thought, \u201cOkay, this is significant.\u201d We can see how: here\u2019s a couple who, when they were ready to give their lives to Christ, they had instant community. They knew exactly who the Christians were. That was when we started thinking, \u201cOkay; maybe these small, ordinary acts of slinging cotton candy,\u201d\u2014or whatever it is\u2014\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u2014the relationships, over time, that we call neighboring. Neighboring is more like a crock pot and less like a microwave; it\u2019s low and slow. We\u2019d been building relationships with this family for two or three years, through all these neighboring activities; and God showed up and worked.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Zoom back and give us the big vision, which is, again, back to that line: \u201cYour address is not an accident.\u201d How is it that you can step back and say, \u201cGod is providentially placing us\u201d? I mean, it\u2019s in the title of your book: <em>for a Purpose<\/em>. What\u2019s that look like?\n\nThat\u2019s sort of where it starts: I have to have an understanding that this isn\u2019t random; this isn\u2019t\u2014even when I met a realtor, and I ended up in this apartment, or this\u2014somehow, you\u2019re believing that God didn\u2019t\/this wasn\u2019t an accident. Talk about that.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; so you know, as we were thinking more about this, if you go back to Deuteronomy 4\u2014I mean, this is even just a theme throughout Scripture, I think, is God placing people for a purpose\u2014if you look at Deuteronomy 4, the nation of Israel is getting ready to move into the promised land.\n\nMoses is saying, \u201cHey, God is giving you these laws, in a large part, to govern how you\u2019re going to treat each other when you move into this land. When I place you in the land, the way you treat each other is going to reflect God\u2019s love, mercy, justice, and grace to the nations. As the nations come and come through your land, they\u2019re going to look at how you\u2019re treating each other and say, \u2018What kind of God would bless this people with this kind of law? This must be an <em>amazing<\/em> God.\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>These were the neighbors.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>These were the neighbors, yes. Israel\u2019s neighbors are going to see this. Even for the nation of Israel, they weren\u2019t placed in the land just to sit back and be like, \u201cSweet! We\u2019re home, we can just pull up into the\u2014\u201d\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cmilk and honey.\u201d\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; \u201cWe can pull into the driveway and close the garage door, because we\u2019re here. This is good; this is the end of the story,\u201d\u2014no, that was just the beginning of the story.\n\nIf you go to the New Testament, this is a passage that\u2019s really informed our view on this as well\u2014is in Acts 17, when Paul talks\/he is in Athens\u2014and he talks about how God has laid out the boundary markers for us of where we will live and the time that we will spend on this earth. We\u2019re like, \u201cOkay; God places Israel for a purpose to reflect His character; Paul is bringing that theme, and he\u2019s saying everyone is placed where they are for this purpose.\u201d\n\nWe\u2019re like, \u201cWell, what if that\u2019s what\u2019s happened with us in our neighborhood? What if God has placed us in our neighborhood, not as the end of the story, but just the beginning?\u2014as a way to reflect His character to those around us\u2014His love, His kindness, His justice, His mercy and peace.\u201d\n\nIf we say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s the reason why we\u2019re living in this house,\u201d well, then, it\u2019s not going to be an accident that our neighbors, who He\u2019s put in our neighborhood\u2014that\u2019s not an accident either\u2014He\u2019s placed <em>them<\/em> for a reason, because He\u2019s working in their life. If you begin to live that way and think that way, it totally changes the way you view your neighborhood, and your neighbors, and yourself, and the role that God wants you to have in your neighborhood.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s a beautiful perspective, and it\u2019s a larger vision.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s convicting. I\u2019m just going to say, \u201cIt is convicting\u201d; because here\u2019s what happens: we get busy; we\u2019re in ministry\u2014we\u2019re discipling these other people\u2014and here\u2019s what I can think: \u201cI don\u2019t have time for my neighbors!\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cHonestly, who cares about my neighbors?\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes! It\u2019s terrible, you guys. I feel so convicted now. [Laughter] Thanks for this message today. I think it\u2019s something we really all need to think about.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Well, I can also say, just to bring some comfort, neighboring is also the most selfish ministry there is. Trust me, it is incredibly enriching. We get so much more out of this than our neighbors do; trust me! We are the beneficiaries of so much from our neighbors. When you think about the phrase, \u201cIt takes a village,\u201d our neighbors help raise our kids! When I was talking about being a young mom, and needing my neighbors, I could not have made it through that season without my neighbors.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Now, I\u2019m older; and my kids are gone\u2014because I relate to that [having a younger family]\u2014so now, it has to be more intentional on my part.\n\n<strong>Elizabeth: <\/strong>Right.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think, you know, where we started is\u2014Bob was talking about the differences in the generations\u2014how we were sort of in each other\u2019s backyards; and today, we\u2019re not\u2014but I don\u2019t think the DNA of the human soul is any different.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>No.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Even though our neighbors\u2019 garage doors may go down, and they hibernate\u2014and I\u2019m not saying they; we do, too\u2014they still <em>long<\/em> for community.\n\n<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Part of me is inspired to say\u2014even to our listeners\/to myself\u2014\u201cWe should become the event planners for our neighborhoods,\u201d like you guys. You guys are the event planners! You\u2019re creating opportunities to get neighbors together. It\u2019s sort of like that\u2019s what we should be.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For the listener, who is thinking, \u201cOkay, yes; but you guys, this is what you do. You\u2019re missionary staff with Cru, so\u2026I have a full-time job; I have other things that I\u2019m doing. That\u2019s good\u2014you guys keep doing that\u2014but I don\u2019t have space in my life.\u201d\n\nI think we\u2019ve heard you say there are empty-nesters; there are other parents. This is not just something you do\u2014you help catalyze it\u2014but all the neighbors are in on this. Any listener can get a copy of your book, <em>Placed for a Purpose<\/em>, and catch a vision for this\u2014not just a vision\u2014but you guys map out a strategy for how we can engage with our neighbors, ultimately keeping a kingdom mindset in the midst of that.\n\nChris and Elizabeth\u2019s book is called <em>Placed for a Purpose: A Simple and Sustainable Vision for Loving Your Next-Door Neighbors<\/em>. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the McKinney\u2019s book. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Placed for a Purpose<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nYou know, this day is a significant day for all of us, who are followers of Christ. This is the day when we pause to remember the Last Supper\/the Passover meal that Jesus had with His disciples on the day before He was crucified. As we head into this weekend, and think about the death and resurrection of Christ, I want all of you, who are <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, to know what we celebrate this weekend is at the heart of everything we do, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\nOur mission to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014underneath that mission\u2014is an understanding that the only way you can effectively develop godliness in your marriage and in your family is with a focus on the gospel\/an understanding that the death and resurrection of Christ is the central event in all of human history. The implications of the cross and the resurrection\u2014our forgiveness, our new life in Christ, our living now for eternity\u2014that reshapes everything about us. It reshapes our marriages and our families.\n\nHere, at FamilyLife, the gospel commitment is really at the heart of everything that we do. As you prepare to meditate on the death of Christ this week, and to celebrate His resurrection this weekend, I just wanted to remind you that this is at the heart of all that we do, here, at FamilyLife. Thank you for your support of this ministry, year in and year out; we are so grateful that you join us\/that you listen.\n\nLet me just say this: if you don\u2019t know Christ\u2014if you don\u2019t have a relationship with God through Jesus\u2014I want to point you to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there that talks about \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d Don\u2019t head into this weekend\/into the Easter weekend without pausing to consider your relationship with Jesus and all that He has done for us at the cross. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says \u201cTwo Ways to Live\u201d to find out more about what it means to have a relationship with God through Christ.\n\nWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow as we continue talking about what it means to love your neighbor. Chris and Elizabeth McKinney will be back with us. I hope you can be here as well.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. We got some extra help from Bruce Goff; and of course, our entire broadcast production team is involved. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a CruMinistry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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