{"id":306783,"date":"2021-03-22T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-03-22T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-kindness-epiphany\/"},"modified":"2021-03-22T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-03-22T11:00:05","slug":"the-kindness-epiphany","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-kindness-epiphany\/","title":{"rendered":"The Kindness Epiphany"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does your &#8220;inner meanie&#8221; get the best of you? That used to be normal for today&#8217;s guest. Nicole Phillips describes the ordinary interaction that forever changed her perspective.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:43","filesize":"24.47M","filesize_raw":"25654140","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4299],"podcast_series":[8434],"cwp_profile":[9701],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306783","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-faith","podcast_series-the-negativity-remedy","cwp_profile-nicole-phillips","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306783\/the-kindness-epiphany","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306783\/the-kindness-epiphany","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"EhpO2hLxX5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-kindness-epiphany\/\">The Kindness Epiphany<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-kindness-epiphany\/embed\/#?secret=EhpO2hLxX5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Kindness Epiphany&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"EhpO2hLxX5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Does your \"inner meanie\" get the best of you? That used to be normal for today's guest. Nicole Phillips describes the ordinary interaction that forever changed her perspective.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nicole Philips remembers being in a place\u2014maybe you\u2019ve been here too\u2014where she was just ready to give up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I was worn out\u2014I was sick of laundry; I was sick of warming up chicken tenders\u2014all of it seemed like it just didn\u2019t matter in that this was as good as it was going to get. Instead of being in a place of gratitude\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got three healthy kids. This is as good as it\u2019s going to get; awesome!\u201d\u2014I saw it from the other side of that coin, that I was the one that was being asked to give more than I had to give.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What do you do when all of your thoughts are just negative?\u2014when life just isn\u2019t pleasant? How do you deal with that? Nicole Philips has some thoughts for us about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Here\u2019s my premise\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, here we go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014test me and see if you think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Bob Lepine\u2019s premise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014this is right. Here\u2019s the premise: \u201cA marriage will not thrive\u2014maybe will not survive\u2014unless there\u2019s kindness present in the marriage.\u201d Do you think that\u2019s right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m just imagining two unkind people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and it\u2019s a miserable existence. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, there\u2019s got to be a little dash of it somewhere for a marriage to survive. I think, sometimes, unkindness is the thing that is undoing a lot of relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m sitting here thinking, \u201cI am married to the most kindest kindness person ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She wasn\u2019t always that way; [Laughter] trust me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you whip her into shape? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why did you have to say that part? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, people know our story. But I\u2019m not kidding; I\u2019ve often thank God\u2014not often\u2014every single day for this incredible woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We could just end the broadcast now; this is amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Let\u2019s close in prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We could except you want to introduce everybody\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014my sister.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to your newest best friend; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: Tell everybody who this is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> First of all, I want you to know what it was like when our guest walked into the room. [Laughter] Nicole Phillips walked into the room with this huge smile. She\u2019s beautiful, and she had gifts. She said, \u201cI\u2019m so happy to be here. This is hallowed ground.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was like Christmas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was; it felt like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she\u2019s got red on, so it\u2019s sort of like Santa Claus came in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Nicole has written a book called <em>The Negativity Remedy<\/em>. She\u2019s a mom; she\u2019s a wife. She\u2019s married to a basketball coach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTell us more\u2014and tell us about your column that you write in the newspaper\u2014Nicole, tell us a little bit about yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I am a newspaper columnist. The column, \u201cKindness Is Contagious,\u201d runs in newspapers in North Dakota, Minnesota, and South Dakota. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would like to read that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; so watch out world, because Ann\u2019s going to make it go everywhere. Then you will not be able to open the paper and <em>not <\/em>see it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have podcast called <em>The Kindness Podcast<\/em>; that we\u2019re on season four right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kindness is your thing\/it\u2019s your brand; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Kindness is my thing. It should be everyone\u2019s thing; but it\u2019s my thing, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It has not always been your thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole<\/strong>: Oh no, I was the queen of negativity for a very, very long time. I\u2019m not even saying that humbly. If my husband were here, he would be like, \u201cYes, amen; yes, she was.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Like, were you a negative teenager? It seems impossible to me, seeing you now, that you were ever a negative person; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, ten years ago, I was on the edge of what anyone would call an alcoholic. I was a drinker, and a smoker, and an overeater. I was angry at my husband all the time. Now, he is a college basketball coach\u2014that is his job\u2014which requires him to travel. I knew that. Logically, I knew that he needed to be gone; but when I was home with three small kids, and he was out eating steak dinners with the team, that didn\u2019t sit well with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Thank you; this is why we were negative in our earlier\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014Dave was traveling with the Lions. He\u2019s like, \u201cThe guy\u201d; and I\u2019m home with three kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; so my husband, being a basketball coach, you would think also that he would be like a good shooter. I have a laundry hamper; my husband would take off his sock, and he would shoot, and he would miss. I thought, \u201cHow did you ever play basketball? Like you miss 90 percent of the shots you take with those socks and underwear.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of getting up and putting them in the laundry hamper, he would just let them sit. Of course that is enough to make me irate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Nicole\u2019s written a book called <em>The Negativity Remedy: Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness<\/em>. Somewhere, along the line, things changed for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Absolutely; again, ten years ago, this is where I am in this really place of depression\/negativity. I\u2019m on antidepressants at that point, and it still didn\u2019t help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Stop, stop, stop right there; so it was that bad. You were on antidepressants. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re medicating because you\u2019re that negative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I was medicating and then self-medicating, so both. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy kids, at the time, were six, five, and about one at this time. I took the three of them out for a day out, because I had to get out of the house with them. I was gone; it\u2019s the middle of winter. I was living in Fargo, North Dakota; so I took them out. We went to our local mall, a little play land called Dino-Land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dino-Land\u2014yes, I remember you talking about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Dino-Land. There was this young woman there who was watching a little boy. The woman, who was watching the other little boy, and I started to talk. As we were talking, I realized this wasn\u2019t just the world\u2019s best babysitter; this was indeed \u201cthe mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce we started talking\u2014and I got to learn more about her and how difficult her walk was, being a young mom\u2014something in me changed. I think what changed was the fact that, before we left that day, she said, \u201cI can tell your kids really love you.\u201d It was like an epiphany in that moment, because I <em>so needed to hear that<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was worn out\u2014I was sick of laundry. I was sick of warming up chicken tenders\u2014I mean, all of it seemed like it just didn\u2019t matter and that it would never end. That this was as good as it was going to get. Instead of being in a place of gratitude that\u2014\u201cThis is great. This is\u2014I\u2019ve got three healthy kids. This is as good as it\u2019s going to get; awesome!\u201d\u2014I saw it from the other side of that coin\u2014that I was the one that was being asked to give more than I had to give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cI can tell your kids really love you\u201d and it just got me in that moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, I just felt like God was saying to me, \u201cGive her some money.\u201d She never asked for it; she never told me she needed it. She never insinuated\u2014nothing\u2014but I felt this really distinct voice telling me to give her money. I hadn\u2019t heard that voice very often, if ever. I wasn\u2019t really sure what that was. I was beginning a journey with God at that time, so I didn\u2019t quite understand; but I reached into my purse. I pulled out a couple of 20s and I handed them to her. We just had a really beautiful exchange.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You said you were just at the beginning of a spiritual journey at that point. Take us into that. You didn\u2019t grow up with a spiritual foundation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I did. I grew up Catholic and did spend time every Sunday in the church and things like that. I grew up believing that God was a macro-god\u2014that He would take care of <em>all the big things<\/em> in the world; that was <em>His job<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>My job<\/em> was to take care of the things in <em>my life<\/em>\u2014<em>in my world<\/em>\u2014and that God would never be interested in the details like the fact that I was taking antidepressants or sad about my life\u2014which I should have been grateful about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or drinking too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u2014or drinking too much. God wouldn\u2019t care about that; God\u2019s caring about the <em>big things<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was invited\u2014and this is now in 2011\u2014I was invited to a Bible study by a friend of mine, who was living in Fargo, North Dakota, who was from Brazil. You\u2019ve got to have a <em>big<\/em> personality, if you\u2019re from Brazil, and you\u2019re living in this frozen land. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> If anyone could be depressed at this point, it would be your friend from Brazil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Good point! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s not easy to go into that climate and be happy when you\u2019ve lived in Brazil. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Good point, and she had this great <em>joy<\/em> welling up inside of her. She was <em>such, such<\/em> fun to be with. She said, \u201cWould you join this Bible study?\u201d I said, \u201cOh, I am <em>not<\/em> a Bible study girl. She asked again a couple of weeks later. I finally realized, \u201cI\u2019m not doing anything during the day right now. I have the time, and she\u2019s so fun to be with, and I would love to get out of the house.\u201d So I said, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI show up at this Bible study. It should have been called an intervention, [Laughter] because it was my friend from Brazil and her neighbor. That was it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u2014two people, yes. [Laughter] We watch this video by Lysa TerKeurst. In the video, Lysa says two things: she said, \u201cNumber one, you are a child of God. You aren\u2019t just a product of the people who gave birth to you and some of their, maybe, failings and troubles in life. You are a child of <em>God<\/em>.\u201d To me, that really helped to erase a lot of the guilt and the shame that I was feeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the other thing she said was, \u201cGod has big plans for your life.\u201d That to me, that was important. I was Miss Wisconsin in 1997. It might as well have been 1927; right?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014doesn\u2019t matter. But the thing was: I felt, in the back of my mind, like I had missed my big opportunity to change the world. In this Bible study, hearing, \u201cGod has big plans for your life,\u201d really changed the way that I looked at what was left of my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Something that was asleep inside of you woke up that day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> It <em>did<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> It did, Bob. That was absolutely right. I\u2019m a practical person, so I said to my friend from Brazil and her neighbor\u2014our whole Bible study\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cThat\u2019s great information, but what do I do with that?\u201d My friend from Brazil said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just start by praying every day\u2014every morning\/every night\u2014\u2018God, make me a vessel for You,\u2019 \u2018God make me a vessel for You,\u2019 \u2018God, make me a vessel for You.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did, and I had no idea what I was praying. I don\u2019t even know like, \u201cWhat\u2019s a vessel?\u201d I had to go look it up, eventually; but I was praying it. God was listening; because shortly thereafter, I met the young mom who really encouraged me with her words. Shortly thereafter, I started writing this weekly newspaper column, \u201cKindness Is Contagious.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happened? I mean, you\u2019re sitting there at Dino-Land; and she says\u2014you watch her\u2014and you told us the story. What is it that really changed you?\u2014because that was a <em>dramatic<\/em> epiphany and a life-changing moment at Dino-Land\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014of all places. But it really did mark you. What\u2014as you think back on it\u2014what was it that changed you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> It was packing up my kids and walking <em>out <\/em>of the mall with this totally different feeling than I had walked <em>into<\/em> the mall with. Every cell of my being was <em>awake<\/em>. I thought, \u201cIf everyone knew what this felt like, everyone would try it; and kindness would be contagious.\u201d I just wanted somehow to stand there and scream, like, \u201cEverybody, go be kind! It feels awesome!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only way I knew how to do that was being able to share it through this newspaper column. It was interesting; because the thing about the weekly newspaper column is they want you to write it like\u2014guess how often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Weekly. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, so I misunderstood the weekly thing. I thought it was just when you feel like it maybe. I had asked people in the community: \u201cSend me your stories of kindness. Tell me the things you\u2019ve done and how it made you feel\u201d; because I wanted to know if somebody else got the same feeling I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now what\u2014did you just go to the editor of the paper and say, \u201cI want to write a column\u201d? How does this work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> No, the editor of the newspaper came to me. Remember, I was praying, \u201cGod make me a vessel,\u201d and no idea what I\u2019m praying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, wouldn\u2019t you know that I got a call from the editor of the newspaper. He said, \u201cNicole, I know that you used to be on TV; so would you write a section for our paper about politics?\u201d [Laughter] Let\u2019s just stop and giggle about that; like, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He really asked for politics. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, because I was a television journalist; right?\u2014so yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you\u2019re laughing, because that\u2019s not your thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>not <\/em>my\u2014I hate politics more than I hate numbers, so yes. [Laughter] I said, \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cOkay, what about cooking?\u201d I started to giggle and I said, \u201cI have made lasagna twice\u2014and both times forgot to put in the lasagna noodles.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cHow about parenting?\u201d I said, \u201c<em>Yes<\/em>, I will write about parenting as soon as I have launched these three small children <em>out of my house<\/em>\u201d; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m still on trial here; let\u2019s not get there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s exactly right; no kidding. The publisher of the newspaper threw up his hands; he said, \u201cWhen you figure out what you want to write about, you call me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod had just set me up for slam dunk; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u2014because I had this <em>great feeling<\/em> after meeting this young mom, and I just <em>knew<\/em> what I wanted to share with the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no idea that this was going to be my purpose, this was going to be my calling, and I was about to step into it. But I just did the next right thing; I took the next step. I called the publisher; and I said, \u201cI want to write about kindness,\u201d and \u201cI want people to send me their stories and tell me how it made them feel, or times when they received an act of kindness that showed up at just the right moment. I want to share those.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack to the whole\u2014they want you to write a weekly column weekly\u2014the problem is people didn\u2019t send me stories right away, so I had to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you have to start doing random acts of kindness maybe\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Bingo!\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to be able to write about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, I had to go out and start doing random acts of kindness. Then on the flip of that, Ann, I had to notice when people were being kind to me. Even things that maybe they would have done before, that I just assumed, \u201cWell, that\u2019s their job.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Now, you have your antennae up; and you\u2019re <em>looking<\/em> for things. That\u2019s different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m still stuck back at Dino-Land. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Okay, we\u2019ll go back to Dino-Land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Because here\u2019s what I want to know\u2014because it\u2019s beautiful; it really is\u2014I\u2019ve thought, \u201cI know a lot of people, even myself, who have done something kind and feel the\u2014what you felt\u2014walking out of the mall or whatever.\u201d Like you said\u2014you\u2019re tingling\u2014it\u2019s like, \u2018Oh, that was awesome!\u2019\u201d I\u2019ve watched her do it a million times, but often, don\u2019t sustain that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like somebody going to church and having a spiritual moment. It\u2019s like, \u201cMy whole life is going to be different.\u201d Then a year later, or six months, they\u2019re like, \u201cWhat happened to that?\u201d\u2014it just faded away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYours stuck. It\u2019s like that moment wasn\u2019t just a moment. It tapped you into some truth, obviously, that we\u2019re talking about. What made it stick? What made it like, \u201cI\u2019m going to continue to be kind. I\u2019m going to get stories of kindness\u201d? What was it?\u2014because there\u2019s a lot of us that do a kind thing, here and there; but it isn\u2019t like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014our new mission in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it isn\u2019t like, \u201cI\u2019ve found a secret.\u201d And you have found a secret.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; now that I\u2019m a head, my antennae was up: I had to find those stories, whether I felt like it or not, for the next column. Within a year of my antennae being up: a year of being really intentional about kindness, and noticing it\u2014as the giver, the receiver, or the witness\u2014I had totally quit drinking; I had quit smoking; I lost 30 pounds. I re-fell in love with my husband\u2014who it turns out is a really great guy\u2014whether he makes the laundry basket or not with his socks. My whole home changed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s almost like someone, who is dieting\u2014when you lose two pounds, you\u2019re like, \u201cYes, I can do this.\u201d Then you lose five pounds; and you\u2019re like, \u201cHey, we\u2019re onto something\u201d; and it feels good, and you\u2019re encouraged. I was continually encouraged by the kindness I was seeing around me and, then, the letters that people started to send in. It really meant a lot to me. I noticed, in my own life, all of these changes that were really for the good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you continue to grow in your walk with God?\u2014like that Bible study was instrumental to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> It was. Knowing I was a child of God, knowing that God had a plan and a purpose for <em>my<\/em> life\u2014allowed me to focus in. I could hold that every time I wasn\u2019t sure or I felt untethered. I could hold onto that truth, \u201cGod has a plan for your life.\u201d Knowing that, and just grasping onto that, allowed me to go through the ups and downs of being a parent and being a wife without totally losing it and feeling the need to self-medicate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the question, \u201cIs\u201d\u2014because I\u2019m thinking listeners are listening right now and are like, \u201cThis is the kindest woman in the world. She\u2019s probably never not kind,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\u201cSo are you ever not kind anymore? Does the inner meanie come out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Oh, the inner meanie!\u2014I have a whole chapter in the book on the inner meanie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We want to talk about that, but yes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; so \u201cAm I ever not kind?\u201d I so wish my family were here because they would be on the floor, <em>laughing<\/em> right now; yes. I never call myself a kindness expert. I call myself a kindness advocate because a kindness expert means that you\u2019ve figured out the formula\u2014you\u2019ve cracked the code\u2014and you can get it right <em>every<\/em> time. I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> get it right every time. My inner meanie comes out and wants to be judgmental. My inner meanie comes out and wants to be offended, but I talk back to that\u2014I\u2019ve learned that I can talk back to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband always jokes that, you know, he\u2019s on version Nicole 8.0. [Laughter] Maybe it\u2019s like you, Ann, when you said\u2014like Dave mentioned that\u2014maybe you haven\u2019t always been kind in your life, but are incredibly kind now; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You can grow into that, you can change. To me, that\u2019s encouraging and hopeful, but that doesn\u2019t mean I always get it right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> One of my favorite times I remember I did not get it right was\u2014I was living in Ohio\u2014this if five years ago. My son\u2014who is a teenager\u2014had a friend over. He\u2014my son\u2014was supposed to clean up the entry way of our house\u2014there was lots of shoes, and lots of backpacks, and lots of jackets. I said, \u201cBefore you have this friend over, I need this cleaned.\u201d My son said, \u201cYes, absolutely Mom. No problem.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI leave. I come back, and my son is there with his friend. I walk in the door, and I trip over the shoes and the backpacks. I yell, \u201cCHARLIE!\u201d\u2014just instantaneous\u2014like, \u201cI will now scream at you without even thinking it.\u201d Charlie and his friend come around the corner and he\u2019s like, \u201cYes, Mom.\u201d I just let it go. I said, \u201cI told you, \u2018You were supposed to clean this up!\u2014duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCharlie\u2019s friend, who was standing next to him, looks at Charlie and says, \u201cWell, I guess kindness isn\u2019t always contagious.\u201d [Laughter] I had no choice in that moment but to laugh. Oh, I laughed because he was so right\u2014busted! Yes. So, once in a while, I absolutely have to go back and say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry. My words\u2014\u201d or \u201cMy actions\u2014\u201d or even, \u201cMy thoughts on that situation\u2014they were not kind.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Answer this for our listeners who are sitting there thinking, \u201cI want to be kind, but I can\u2019t. I try, I keep failing.\u201d Can you give them a tip or two or a step to take, to say, \u201cOkay, if you really want to start to become a kind person, start here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> A-number one: \u201cThink about what you\u2019re thinking about. Get into your brain.\u201d God tells us to renew our minds. To me, I never understood what that quite meant. \u201cHow do I do that? I\u2019m trying. Does that mean I just have to sit in the Bible all that time? What does that all mean?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I feel is that what it means is to think about what you\u2019re thinking about. If it\u2019s a thought that aligns with where you want to be, keep thinking about it. \u201cWhatever is true, and noble, and right, think about that.\u201d If it\u2019s a thought that isn\u2019t serving you, then don\u2019t park your brain there. Replace it with a Scripture\u2014replace it with God\u2019s Word. Replace it with something that means something to you\u2014an alternative thought that will help you to move away from those negative thoughts. <em>That<\/em> will change your world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s great and practical, and exactly right because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ll have to talk more about that, because there\u2019s a lot to that. That\u2019s really good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the renewing of the mind is what the Bible tells us we\u2019re supposed to do. Of course, kindness is a fruit of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>All:<\/strong> \u2014the Spirit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. If we\u2019re walking with Christ, and kindness is not what\u2019s coming out, there\u2019s a short circuit there. You\u2019re book, <em>The Negativity Remedy<\/em>, helps us with strategies on this: <em>Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness<\/em>. We\u2019re making this book available to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners this week if you can help support the ongoing work of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you who are regular listeners\u2014who believe, as we do, in the mission of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>: \u201cTo effectively develop godly marriages and families, believing that godly marriages and families can change the world one home at a time,\u201d \u2014you make that possible\u2014you make that mission happen every time that you donate to support the ongoing work of <em>Family Life Today<\/em>. You help us reach more people, more often, with practical biblical help and hope for their marriage and family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Nicole Phillips\u2019 book, <em>The Negativity Remedy: Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness<\/em>. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. Be sure to ask for your copy of the book, <em>The Negativity Remedy<\/em>, when you call or when you donate online. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for your support. We are so grateful for those listeners who help advance the mission of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and make this daily radio program\u2014this podcast\u2014available to hundreds of thousands of people every day all around the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, we are pretty excited around here about an event that is coming up in a few weeks\u2014it is our annual <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> event. It\u2019s a one-day livestream event for stepfamilies, for couples, single parents, dating couples with kids\u2014anybody who cares about blended families. This event is going to be taking place Saturday, April 24<sup>th<\/sup>. It\u2019s online. By the way, it\u2019s available in both English and Spanish. There\u2019s going to be a Spanish stream available for those who would prefer to watch the event in Spanish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em> when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there that gives you all the details of the event. You can get a group together and watch it at your local church, or watch it just by yourself at home. Again, all the information is available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019re in a blended family, you know someone who is, or if you just care about blended families, plan to join us for <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em> on April 24<sup>th<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue talking about the power of kindness to defeat negativity in our lives. Nicole Phillips will be back with us, again, tomorrow. I hope you can be back as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. We got some help from Bruce Goff this week, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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