{"id":306769,"date":"2021-03-12T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-03-12T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-three-ms-of-love\/"},"modified":"2021-03-12T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-03-12T12:00:05","slug":"the-three-ms-of-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-three-ms-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"The Three M&#8217;s of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What does a Christian marriage look like? To know that, you must start with God&#8217;s definition of love. Kevin DeYoung talks about the &#8220;Three M&#8217;s of Love&#8221; according to the Bible.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tBook now on FamilyLife&#8217;s Love Like You Mean It\u00ae cruise. https:\/\/www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com\/<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does a Christian marriage look like? To know that, you must start with God&#8217;s definition of love. Kevin DeYoung talks about the &#8220;Three M&#8217;s of Love&#8221; according to the Bible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:45:42","filesize":"41.84M","filesize_raw":"43871177","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2810],"tags":[5251],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3417],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306769","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-growing-spiritually","tag-cruise","cwp_profile-kevin-deyoung","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306769\/the-three-ms-of-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306769\/the-three-ms-of-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ft0s7MJs0f\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-three-ms-of-love\/\">The Three M&#8217;s of Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-three-ms-of-love\/embed\/#?secret=ft0s7MJs0f\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Three M&#8217;s of Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ft0s7MJs0f\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What does a Christian marriage look like? To know that, you must start with God's definition of love. Kevin DeYoung talks about the \"Three M's of Love\" according to the Bible.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What should grace look like in a marriage relationship? How are we to be dispensers of grace to one another? Pastor and author, Kevin DeYoung, talks about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I have to tell you we\u2019ve been talking all this week about the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise. I woke up this morning; and just for a minute, I thought I was on board. I mean, I just had that moment where it was like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s because it\u2019s sunny here in Little Rock. [Laughter] If you lived in Michigan, you wouldn\u2019t think that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wouldn\u2019t have this feeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You can <em>dream<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> In 2022, you can do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are going to be back with our <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise next February. We <em>cannot<\/em> wait. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Apparently, some of you can\u2019t wait either because a lot of you have been calling us this week and saying, \u201cOkay; we\u2019re in. We\u2019ll put our deposit down. We want to go on the cruise with you Valentine\u2019s week of \u201922.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s going to be an amazing cruise. I hope a lot of our listeners\u2014I think a lot of us have had cabin fever\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so here is our chance to\u2014I mean, I know it\u2019s a ways away; but it\u2019ll just be special, again, to be back on board the cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Pull your bathing suits out of those drawers, and let\u2019s do it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We always have a great lineup of some great speakers. This week, we\u2019ve been listening to some of those great speakers from the last decade on board the cruise. I remember the year Kevin DeYoung joined us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise. In fact, I was telling you guys this story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI heard a sermon that Kevin was preaching\u2014this was four or five years after he had been on the cruise\u2014and he was telling this congregation: \u201cMy wife and I were invited to be on this marriage cruise. One day, we\u2019re out on our balcony, and we hear this couple nearby. They\u2019re arguing with each other. We thought, \u2018Oh, this sounds bad.\u2019 We prayed for them. We were worried and thought, \u2018I hope they are okay.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cLater that night, we\u2019re in the ballroom; and we hear the same argument happening.\u201d It\u2019s because it was Jim and Carol Shores, Acts of Renewal, who do the skits for us. They\u2019d been rehearsing out on their balcony. [Laughter] Now, here they were up on the stage. He hears and goes, \u201cOh, they were just playing.\u201d They met them later and got a chance to say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWe prayed for you guys.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin is a pastor in North Carolina in the Charlotte area. He is an author. He has been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of times. The year he was on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise, he went to 1 John 4, which is a passage that is all about the fact that God is love. He said, \u201cWhat can we learn about marriage by meditating on the idea that God is love?\u201d We\u2019re going to hear a portion of his message on that today. Here is Kevin DeYoung. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> If God is love, then it stands to reason that He ought to define what love is and what it looks like. We see here the method, the motivation, and the manifestation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVerse 10, first, the method: \u201cIn this is love,\u201d\u2014John writes\u2014\u201cnot that we have loved God but the He loved us and sent His son to be the propitiation\u201d\u2014we\u2019ll come back to that word in a moment\u2014\u201cfor our sins.\u201d Do you see the <em>method<\/em>? God\u2019s love came about from His <em>will<\/em>. It was His choice, in eternity past, to set His affections upon us\/to choose us in Christ before the foundations of the world. It was His decision, for His glory, to love us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tContrary to popular opinion, God does not love us because we were some diamond in the rough that, then, the cross shows how special we are. The cross shows how <em>far<\/em> we were from God in our sin! What does Paul say in Romans? \u201cWhile we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.\u201d God did not look out and say, \u201cThere are some special people: I\u2019ve got a lot of potential in that one,\u201d \u201cOh, wow! She\u2019s got a <em>lot<\/em> going for her,\u201d \u201cI think I\u2019ll send my Son for her, her, her, and him.\u201d It was His <em>choice<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what does this mean for marriage? Now, it\u2019s not identical; because hopefully, there are some things that drew you to one another: \u201cHe\u2019s so intelligent, and he\u2019s handsome.\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s so kind and loving.\u201d You were attracted to one another; and yet, there are many, many times in marriage, where to love one another is an act of the will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove is not what holds the marriage together. It is the <em>commitment<\/em> of marriage that <em>sustains<\/em> the love. You made promises before God and these witnesses; and you said, \u201cForsaking all others\u201d; and you said, \u201c\u2026until death parts us.\u201d You called upon God Himself to witness these vows, and we treat them so lightly?! Love is an act of the <em>will<\/em>. When you get married, you turn off, hopefully, that part of your brain that would walk into a room, when you were single, and sort of think, \u201cHmmm, maybe!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cWho are you?\u201d\u2014you turn that off! Now, forsaking all others, it is you and her\/it is you and him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make that choice so that, instead of saying\u2014\u201cToday, I will float on clouds of limitless passion as I consider the boundless perfections of my spouse\u201d; [Laughter] good luck!\u2014you say: \u201cToday, I will forgive; today, I will cherish, even as I recognize the imperfections of my spouse.\u201d There is an act of the <em>will<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou also see the method here is sacrifice\/sacrifice. It says that Jesus\u2019 death was a propitiation. Now what does that word mean? Think of it\u2014just the first part of the word\u2014\u201cpro.\u201d When Christ died for our sins, it made God, who had every right to be angry toward us as His sinful creatures\u2014and God, together with the Son and the Holy Spirit\u2014now, through this act of redemption, are propitious toward us. That means God, who was against us\u2014and had every right to be\u2014is now for us\/\u201cpro\u201d us. You need good words like that! Listen, you <em>need<\/em> theology to have a strong marriage. You need theological ballast in your boat: propitiation. So God\/God had every right to condemn us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I don\u2019t know what sort of tradition you come from\/what sort of church you\u2019re a part of. In our church, most Sundays at the end, I give the benediction: \u201cThe Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace.\u201d If you\u2019re Baptist, it sounds like, \u201cYou\u2019re dismissed\u201d; but if you\u2019re Presbyterian, that\u2019s what we say. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I love\u2014and it\u2019s right from the Bible, from Numbers, Chapter 6\u2014I love what R.C. Sproul said many years ago. He said, \u201cYou want to know what it is to be under the curse of God? Take that blessing and flip it: \u2018May the Lord <em>curse<\/em> you. May the Lord turn His face <em>away<\/em> from you. May He <em>hide<\/em> His countenance from you. May He turn His smile away and may you see <em>nothing<\/em> but His frowning countenance.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod had every right to be angry with us in our sins. If the gospel has become old, boring news to us, perhaps, it\u2019s because we don\u2019t know how much we have been saved from. [Applause] We\u2019ve forgotten what it is! You will not be gracious in your marriage until you know how <em>gracious<\/em> God has been to you. Sacrifice: He sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice that, He who had every right to be against us, would be, now, \u201cpro\u201d us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen\u2019s the last time you\u2019ve sacrificed something? What have you done for your husband\/for your wife\u2014some measure of sacrifice?\u2014your time?\u2014your energy? Marriage is hard for a simple reason; we are selfish people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s our second point: \u201cWhat is our motivation?\u201d The method is sacrifice; the method is choice\/an act of the will. But what about our motivation? Verse 11 says, \u201cBeloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.\u201d Now, this is talking about love in the body of Christ; but if that\u2019s the case with brothers and sisters, how much more in this covenant of marriage? If God loved us, we also ought to love one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us have the \u201cI\u2019ll scratch your back, so you scratch my back\u201d; \u201cI\u2019ll try to work on this marriage thing so that you\u2019ll come and you\u2019ll be a better spouse for me.\u201d Many Christians have what amounts to Pharisee love. Jesus, remember, said, \u201cYou love people so they\u2019ll love you back. You do nice things so people will do nice things to you.\u201d The Pharisees get that; the scribes get that. It does not take a work of the Holy Spirit in your heart to get that. Everybody likes that; everybody likes people to be nice to them: \u201cMaybe, if I\u2019m nice, they\u2019ll be nice,\u201d \u201cMaybe if I treat my spouse right, then she\u2019ll treat me right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; well, we\u2019d like to see that; but the Bible gives us something much better\/much <em>deeper<\/em>. Instead of our human instinct\u2014which says, \u201cI will love in order to be loved,\u201d\u2014the Bible says: \u201cLove because you have already been loved.\u201d That\u2019s the difference between anyone else trying to help your marriage and the Bible trying to help your marriage: \u201cLove because you have already been loved,\u201d\u2014that God, in Christ, has forgiven you\/forgiven you <em>real<\/em> sins\u2014that God, in Christ, will justify you by faith alone.\u201d We need theology for good marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the 500<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of Martin Luther nailing the 95 thesis on the church door at Wittenberg; and all around the world, people will be celebrating the 500<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of the Reformation; and rightly so. The central doctrine rediscovered in the Reformation is the doctrine of justification by faith alone: that in Christ, we have our sins\u2014not only forgiven\u2014but positively, we are declared righteous; that He who knew no sins, for our sake, became sin so that, in Him, we might become the righteousness of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJustification by faith <em>alone<\/em>. It was the word, \u201calone,\u201d that was scandalous. Everyone in the 16<sup>th<\/sup> century understood\/all the Christians knew you were justified by faith; of course, you have to have faith. But it was faith <em>plus<\/em> something: it was faith and then enough works to show that you\u2019re really a Christian; or it was faith <em>plus<\/em> the grace working within you; or it was faith <em>plus<\/em> your own effort. What they rediscovered was this great gospel truth of justification by faith <em>alone<\/em>\/<em>alone<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo here\u2019s the question for your marriage: \u201cIf you believe with all your heart that you are justified by faith alone, why are you insisting that your spouse be justified by works?\u201d Because many of us are: \u201cI\u2019m good at the grace thing, God; but that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> going to work with her,\u201d \u201c\u2026not for him! He\u2019s got to prove this; he\u2019s got to crawl; he\u2019s got to suffer a little bit.\u201d And you say, \u201cBut she doesn\u2019t deserve another chance.\u201d Well, neither do you, and neither do I. We\u2019ve been given this magnificent <em>grace<\/em>. We\u2019ve been given this castle of grace with servants, and fine food, and the best clothing. And then it\u2019s like we take a stranger in, and we put him out in the toolshed out back: \u201cNo; no, soup for you!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that God may want to work on in this week\u2014you may be here and you know it\u2019s about marriage\u2014but it may just be that God wants to take these few days to convince you, again, or convince you for the first time that, in Christ, your heavenly Father really loves you; that when you repent of your sins and you turn to Christ, you know the smile of your heavenly Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us only relate to God as a judge: \u201cOkay; I know I\u2019m going to heaven alright, but He\u2019s just an old\/I don\u2019t get too close to the Judge.\u201d What if He\u2019s a Father who loves you? Maybe, you haven\u2019t shown grace to your spouse, because you really haven\u2019t accepted the grace that God wants to show <em>you<\/em>. Maybe, you\u2019re so critical because you think God is always casting a critical eye on <em>you<\/em>. You cannot truly love until you know how much you have been loved! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t miss what Jesus said about Mary: \u201cShe\u2019s chosen the good part,\u201d\u2014to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him\u2014to rekindle that first love; because you know what\u2019s more than this [marital] love?\u2014it\u2019s the love that, maybe, you\u2019ve lost with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, finally, the manifestation; you see verse 12: \u201cNo one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.\u201d You see the argument John\u2019s making? We have a God: He\u2019s invisible; You can\u2019t see Him. Now how can you see the evidence of this God? He argues, \u201cHis love is perfected in us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomebody says, \u201cI can\u2019t believe in your God; I don\u2019t even see Him.\u201d You say, \u201cWell, let me show you what this God looks like in His love. Have you met this couple?\u201d Now, this here is about the body of Christ again. It is, first of all, about the love that people should see in the fellowship of believers. But if this is true, how much more ought it to be true in our marriage relationships?\u2014that we show forth, as Paul says in Ephesians 5, this great mystery\/this mystery that is Christ and the church. Do you know your marriage is supposed to be evangelistic?\u2014Christ and the church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever noticed, in Ephesians 5, that God gives instructions directly to us at our point of fallen-ness? He says, in Ephesians 5, to the woman; the sort of overarching instruction there is: \u201cSubmit to your husband; respect your husband.\u201d Why?\u2014because the proto-typical sin of Eve in the Garden was to usurp his authority. As a result of the curse, there is this conflict and this unwillingness to respect her husband, just like at the very beginning, when she grabbed the fruit, and ignored the command, and gave it to him. And so the command for the woman is: \u201cRespect your husband.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you see for the man? Just so you know\u2014the instructions for the man are like three times as long there than for the wife\u2014it says, \u201cLove\u2026\u201d Now the wife may think, \u201cThat is lame, because we already have to love.\u201d But notice what it says there\u2014\u201cand sacrifice\u201d\u2014 this is a love, as Christ loved the church, and laid down His <em>life<\/em> for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWill you be a man, not just a sacrifice, and to love and to show forth God\u2019s love in these ways? But how about some of the ways that are harder for you? Men, let us be the ones in marriage, who often say the word, \u201c<em>Let\u2019s<\/em>\u201d: \u201cLet us go out for dinner,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s talk about that,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s get a baby sitter,\u201d\u2014or how about words that are very hard for some of you men?\u2014\u201cLet\u2019s pray,\u201d\u2014those are scary words for some men. There are wives, here, waiting years and years to hear their husband say those two simple words: \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d Would you show forth, in your relationship, what it means to love your wife like Christ loves the church? And wives, will you show your husbands what it means with gracious, graceful, intelligent submission to your husbands? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what love looks like; it\u2019s 1 Corinthians 13: you choose to be patient when your husband struggles as a leader; you\u2019re kind when your wife is critical; you do not envy what the other one has in terms of gifts or position; you do not boast in your strengths, while ignoring your weaknesses; you are not rude to each other, especially in public. I shudder when I see couples that are rude to each other in public. I think, \u201cWhat it must be like for you in private?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do not keep a mental journal of faults and hurts; you know, they\u2019re always ready to pull down the file folder: \u201cBut three weeks ago, you said that...\u201d You do not delight to hurt each other; you rejoice when you have occasion to see the truth, even when you see the truth about your own sin. You always protect each other; you always want to find a way to trust each other. You always hope that God can change one another and yourself; and you always persevere in God\u2019s grace, knowing His love for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just leave you with one final question. It will sound flippant, and I don\u2019t mean it to flippant or funny. I mean it to be deadly earnest; because if we are supposed to make the love of God visible, and if our marriage is supposed to show forth Christ and the church, then we have to ask ourselves the uncomfortable question: \u201cWhat do people see in our marriage?\u201d The secret to a happy marriage is to learn that there is much more to your marriage than being happy. If your marriage is to show forth Christ and the church, it means that, ultimately, God is the end of your marriage. The secret to a happy marriage is to make the marriage about God and not about your happiness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, there you go; that\u2019s Kevin DeYoung. I\u2019m seeing the mic drop; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just drop the mic and walk off; that\u2019s right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is right: \u201cLet that sink into your heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kevin\u2019s message from the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise\u2014this was back a number of years ago\u2014each year on the cruise, you hear messages like this each evening\/there is a session; there are morning devotions; there are breakout sessions that happen during the day for men and for women, optional sessions; there is music; there is comedy. I mean, it is a ton of fun; but it is also spiritually enriching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know couples, who have been six, seven, eight times on the cruise; they say, \u201cIt is what we need to get us through the rest of the year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is being intentional about your marriage and <em>pouring<\/em> into the most important relationship in your life. The cool thing about it is it can be <em>fun<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, you can be playing ping pong, or full court basketball, or surfing on the top deck of the thing, and then go to a session at night. Who can beat that?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You have joy and refreshment at the same time you are working on your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And if you want to sleep in, you can do that, too; because your schedule is your own, but we offer a <em>lot<\/em> of great things to help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014including all the soft serve ice cream you want to eat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Too much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if that is good or bad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have just opened up registration for the 2022 <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. I\u2019ve got to tell you: it\u2019s clear to us a lot of you are ready to go with us, because we\u2019re hearing from a lot of people. We are starting to see the cruise fill up for 2022. I know some of you\u2019ve got questions; we\u2019ve got answers. Call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY if you have questions about the cruise or about what happens at this or that. Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; we can answer your questions; we can get you registered over the phone. Right now, there is a special pricing offer that is the lowest price we make available. If you have any interest in going on the cruise, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend this weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about what you do, as parents, if your son-in-law or your daughter-in-law is\u2014I don\u2019t know whether to use the word, \u201cprickly,\u201d or \u201ctoxic,\u201d or somewhere in between those things\u2014Doyle Roth will be here to talk about how we handle in-law relationships that turn out to be hard or unhealthy. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch; got some extra help this week from our friend, Bruce Goff. And of course, our entire broadcast production team was involved. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306769","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306769"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306769"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306769"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306769"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306769"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306769"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306769"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}