{"id":306767,"date":"2021-03-11T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2021-03-11T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness\/"},"modified":"2021-03-11T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2021-03-11T12:00:06","slug":"voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Voddie Baucham on Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To be successful in marriage, spouses must forgive each other often. But the only way to do that is to have a solid grasp of God&#8217;s forgiveness of us through Christ. Voddie Baucham shares a message on forgiveness based on Ephesians 4.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-11.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:23","filesize":"25.07M","filesize_raw":"26283536","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908,2827],"tags":[5251],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[8805],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306767","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-repentance","tag-cruise","cwp_profile-voddie-baucham","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306767\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306767\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0D4V19n7jD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness\/\">Voddie Baucham on Forgiveness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/voddie-baucham-on-forgiveness\/embed\/#?secret=0D4V19n7jD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Voddie Baucham on Forgiveness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0D4V19n7jD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"To be successful in marriage, spouses must forgive each other often. But the only way to do that is to have a solid grasp of God's forgiveness of us through Christ. Voddie Baucham shares a message on forgiveness based on Ephesians 4.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Forgiving another person is not optional for someone who is a follower of Christ. Voddie Baucham says there are a lot of people who just don\u2019t understand what forgiveness really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Forgiveness means I give up my right to punish you for what you did. If you\u2014if I come over to your house\u2014I knock over a lamp, and I break the lamp. You look at me and you say, \u201cNo, brother, that\u2019s okay. I forgive you\u201d; and then, you say, \u201cbut that will be $195.\u201d [Laughter] You didn\u2019t really forgive me, because you\u2019re making me pay. Forgiveness is the cancellation of debt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. We\u2019ll hear from Voddie Baucham today about what forgiveness is and what it isn\u2019t. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I remember\u2014this was a couple of years ago\u2014Mary Ann and I were walking off the boat after one of our <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise events\u2014which, by the way, we\u2019re kicking off the registration for next February\u2019s cruise; because everybody is ready to get out, get back on the boat, and have another marriage cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But we\u2019re getting off the boat, and the people with the cruise line are there as you\u2019re getting off to point you to where your luggage is as you get off; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This one person, who worked for the cruise line, just had this perplexed look on her face. I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d She goes, \u201cWhat\u2019s the deal with you all?\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve been doing this for awhile. Most people, who are getting off the cruise, are dragging and grumpy and,\u201d she said, \u201chonestly, hung over, and ornery.\u201d She said, \u201cYou\u2019re all getting off; you\u2019re smiling at each other; you\u2019re laughing! You\u2019re the <em>nicest<\/em> people we\u2019ve ever seen get off of a cruise!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWell, that\u2019s because of what just happened in the last seven days on this cruise.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What happens\u2014and I don\u2019t think a lot of us know it\u2019s going to happen\u2014but your marriage changes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014and you change!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You get a vacation\u2014it\u2019s fun; you laugh; you have a great time: music\/entertainment\u2014but God shows up. It\u2019s pretty amazing. I didn\u2019t know that was going to happen, either; but every cruise we\u2019ve been on, we come off with a smile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; we make sure, on the cruise, that there\u2019s a lot going on: speakers, musicians, artists, events all going on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You have options of what you can and want to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right; we start each day with devotions. I remember\u2014this was almost a decade ago\u2014Voddie Baucham was one of our speakers on the cruise. For listeners who don\u2019t know Voddie, he\u2019s an author\/speaker. He actually lives in Zambia, Africa, where he is involved in a seminary in Africa. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVoddie has been with us three or four times on the cruise. He did a devotional, where he just took us to the Scriptures on what the Bible has to say about forgiveness. All of us in the room could think there have been those things in your marriage that you allow to accumulate; and you think, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll just overlook that\u201d; but it just sticks with you. If it sticks with you, you\u2019re not really overlooking it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>This message will be helpful, then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It really will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a powerful morning when he shared that, so we\u2019re going to share this message from Voddie, from Ephesians, Chapter 4, just a sample of what happens on board the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise every year. We hope a lot of you will join us next February and be on the cruise with us. Here\u2019s our friend, Voddie Baucham, talking about forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>This morning, I want us to look at Ephesians, Chapter 4, beginning in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tverse 25: \u201cTherefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s where we get to it: \u201cLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.\u201d Let\u2019s read this part together. \u201cBe kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me say several things about forgiveness in the time that we have left here that I think will be helpful for us all as we move forward. Again, we have to learn how to forgive one another. We live closer to one another than to any other human beings on earth; and when you live in close proximity to another human being, your relationship will either be filled with forgiveness or with bitterness; that\u2019s it. If we are going to last, it needs to be filled with the former and not the latter; amen? [Audience agrees]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst thing I want to say about forgiveness is this\u2014is that forgiveness\/our giving of forgiveness to another\u2014is <em>rooted<\/em> in the forgiveness that we have received from Christ. Now, that\u2019s <em>sounds<\/em> simple and straightforward; but there\u2019s a theological principle there that is extremely important. It\u2019s also a principle of hermeneutics that I want to share with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, there are two moods that I want to teach you. In the Greek language, you have certain moods like indicative mood and an imperative mood. Indicative\u2014if I\u2019m using the indicative mood, I\u2019m indicating what something is\u2014so I would say, \u201cThat is a bottle of water.\u201d That\u2019s an indicative; I\u2019m indicating what it is. Now, if I say, \u201cPick up the bottle of water,\u201d that\u2019s an imperative. Indicative: I\u2019m indicating what something is; imperative: I\u2019m giving a command. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in the indicative\u2014especially, when we\u2019re reading here in the New Testament and while we\u2019re dealing with Ephesians\u2014indicatives tell us what God has done on our behalf, in Christ, for our redemption and His glory. It\u2019s indicating who we are in Christ. The imperatives tell us what we are empowered, and commanded, and enabled to do <em>because<\/em> of the indicatives. You have to understand it that way. These things are <em>linked<\/em> inexorably. The imperatives\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re empowered and commanded to do\u2014<em>because<\/em> of the indicatives. If you separate the indicatives and the imperatives, you get works righteousness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s an indicative and an imperative here. What\u2019s the indicative? The indicative is\u2014you are forgiven in Christ\u2014that enables, empowers, and motivates you to give the kind of forgiveness that you\u2019re being commanded to give in the first part of the verse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you separate the indicative and the imperative, all you have is pure law. Usually, that\u2019s what we give our kids: \u201cBe kind to one another,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s pure law. There\u2019s no gospel there at all. If they do it and strive for it, they are striving for works righteousness; and you are undermining the gospel that you want them to receive and walk in. Are you smelling what I\u2019m stepping in? [Laughter] Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo your forgiveness of your spouse, then\u2014from this passage\/in this regard\u2014is rooted then in your experience of forgiveness from Christ. That\u2019s important for a number of reasons; because, if that\u2019s the case\u2014and it is\u2014and you\u2019re wrong about forgiveness, then, you are not going to be secure in your salvation; why? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I\u2019m the type of person that doesn\u2019t forgive, or that forgives begrudgingly, and the gospel is all about how Christ has forgiven me, then, I always worry that Christ gets tired of forgiving me like I get tired of forgiving you. [Applause] People, who wrestle with unforgiveness, usually wrestle with the idea of eternal security; because their very definition of forgiveness does not match what we find in the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the other thing\u2014and I\u2019m going to say this as gently as I can\u2014if you\u2019re a person, who\u2019s not forgiving, then you are actually a disobedient, arrogant hypocrite, who does not appreciate the body of Christ. Why disobedience?\u2014because you are commanded to do it. If you don\u2019t forgive your spouse, you are in sin; because you\u2019ve been commanded to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, it is difficult for us to understand that unless we know what forgiveness is; right? Forgiveness is a cancellation of debt; that\u2019s what it means. Forgiveness means I give up my right to punish you for what you did. If you\u2014if I come over to your house; I knock over a lamp, and I break the lamp\u2014you look at me and say, \u201cNo, brother, that\u2019s okay. I forgive you;\u201d and then, you say, \u201cbut that will be $195.\u201d [Laughter] You didn\u2019t really forgive me, because you\u2019re making me pay. Forgiveness is the cancellation of debt; okay? Why is this important? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemember: our experience of forgiveness is rooted in our understanding of the forgiveness that we\u2019ve received in Christ. If I am a person that doesn\u2019t understand forgiveness as a cancellation of debt\u2014and forgiveness just means I say, \u201cI forgive you,\u201d but I still make you pay\u2014then, my understanding of salvation is going to be the same. Then, my forgiveness from God is something that doesn\u2019t cancel my debt; I still have to work to <em>earn<\/em> that which I\u2019ve already been given. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s all rooted in the fact that I do not comprehend this concept of forgiveness, because remember that first point: these things are linked inexorably; it\u2019s a cancellation of debt. That means that if I say to my wife, \u201cI forgive you,\u201d\u2014but then, we have an argument, like a couple of days later, and I bring it back up\u2014now, I\u2019m punishing you when I said I would give up my right to do so, which means I lied. If the debt is cancelled, it\u2019s cancelled. Again, first of all, if we\u2019re not forgiving, we\u2019re not obedient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, if we\u2019re not forgiving, we\u2019re arrogant. Here\u2019s why\u2014because, basically, here is what I say if I\u2019m not forgiving\u2014and let\u2019s just keep this in marriage; okay?\u2014here\u2019s what I say if I\u2019m not forgiving my wife\/what I say if I\u2019m not forgiving my wife is this: \u201cAll those things that I have done to offend God\u2014those things are absolutely forgivable because that\u2019s how good God is\u2014however, my standard is higher than God\u2019s standard; so though He can forgive you, I can\u2019t.\u201d That\u2019s the height of arrogance; it\u2019s also hypocrisy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou come to me: \u201cWill you forgive me?\u201d \u201cI just\/I just\u2014you know what?\u2014I just don\u2019t think I can; I\u2019m sorry. I mean, you hurt me; I just don\u2019t think I can.\u201d Then, here I go and I do something ten times worse, not just because\u2014again, when I say, \u201cten times worse,\u201d remember the magnitude of my sin is significant because of the magnitude of the One <em>against<\/em> whom I sin. You sin against me\u2014you sin against a finite, sinful human being\u2014I sin against God\/I sin against <em>God<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so it\u2019s inexorably worse. You come to me, asking for forgiveness: \u201cI just don\u2019t know.\u201d But then, what do I do when I sin? I come before my Heavenly Father: I confess it; I repent of it; and I go, \u201cGod, thank You so much for Your forgiveness.\u201d You hypocrite! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, I\u2019m despising the body; why?\u2014because I am saying, of a member of Christ\u2019s body, that what He says of them is not true: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou are a forgiven sinner.\u201d \u201cNo, actually, you\u2019re not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo, because see\u2014no, actually, see I am, really; because what had happened was God, who gave His only begotten Son, He forgave me; and I\u2019m forgiven.\u201d \u201cNo, actually, you\u2019re not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo; really, the cross, the blood\u2014Jesus\u2014you know, forgiven.\u201d \u201cNo, actually, you\u2019re not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWell, how can\u2014because see\u2014okay, wait; because I thought you said that you were actually a child of God\u2014justification, adoption, sanctification, waiting on your glorification\u2014which means that you are in the family of the One who forgave me. I\u2019m telling you what your Daddy said about me, and you\u2019re saying that your Daddy is <em>wrong<\/em>?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo why don\u2019t we forgive? Let me give you these; then, we\u2019ll be done. One reason we don\u2019t forgive is because we do not comprehend the gospel. When I am constantly and consistently reminding myself of the price that was paid for my sin\/when I am constantly and consistently rejoicing in and praising God for the forgiveness that is mine in Christ, I cannot harbor unforgiveness toward <em>you<\/em>; I can\u2019t do it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I am <em>constantly<\/em> burdened down under the weight of the majesty of the forgiveness that I have received\u2014when I am constantly reminded that the precious, spotless, sinless Lamb of God was crushed and killed\/crucified at the will and beckoning of His own Father\u2014and that that perfect life was <em>exchanged<\/em> for mine, it is impossible for me to continue to harbor unforgiveness toward you. If you are harboring unforgiveness, I want to point you back to the gospel. If you are harboring unforgiveness, I want to point you back to Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I harbor unforgiveness because I\u2019m wrong about the definition of forgiveness. For example, some people hold on to unforgiveness because you believe that forgiveness means that you have to forget. That\u2019s a common cultural saying, but it\u2019s not Bible. \u201cIt says that God casts our sins into the sea of forgetfulness.\u201d Yes, see, you ain\u2019t Him. [Laughter] Literally, what that means is that God casts off the punishment due to your sins when you understand what forgiveness means. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, it\u2019s\/[forgetting is] not the beauty of forgiveness. The beauty of forgiveness is not that you can\u2019t remember what happened. The beauty of forgiveness is that, in spite of the fact that you remember and may never forget, you give up your right to punish. That\u2019s the beauty of forgiveness. [Applause] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other myth that we believe is that you can only extend forgiveness to someone when they <em>ask<\/em> for it. Here\u2019s the danger in that one. If you follow that through to its logical conclusion, then, you don\u2019t really believe that Jesus Christ has forgiven you for all sins: past, present, and future. You believe, actually, that you will only stand in heaven if you have managed to recognize, record, and repent of every sin that you\u2019ve ever committed; because if you don\u2019t recognize, record, and repent of every sin that you\u2019ve committed, that means that you are going to stand before God with a record of sins for which you have not repented. If forgiveness is only extended when it\u2019s asked for specifically, you can\u2019t be saved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the other problem with that idea. If forgiveness means that I am actually forgoing my right to punish, and you believe that you can only forgive when people specifically ask you for forgiveness, I feel sorry for you because that makes you the judge of the universe, who must punish sin, unless and until forgiveness is requested. Good luck with that. [Laughter] That\u2019s a heavy burden. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, some of you are carrying that burden in your marriage. There are some of you who believe that you have to mistreat, ignore, and punish your spouse so that you can bring them to repentance; because the Holy Ghost just can\u2019t do it. [Laughter] Do you know that already, today, you\u2019ve experienced forgiveness for things that you didn\u2019t even know were sinful?\u2014that those things have been paid for by Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; my time is gone. There are other myths\u2014and maybe we\u2019ll talk about those other myths at some other time\u2014but for now, here\u2019s what I want you to see. We walked in here; for most of us, we didn\u2019t have these categories of indicatives and imperatives. All we had was, \u201cBe kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,\u201d\u2014we don\u2019t even finish the verse\u2014just \u201cbe kind and forgive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some of you who have been wrestling with that\/struggling with that. You\u2019ve been trying to figure out to how to go inside here, and grab a hold of something that\u2019s inside here, that can make you a more forgiving person. If you don\u2019t hear anything else today, hear this: \u201cBeing forgiving doesn\u2019t come from you grabbing something that\u2019s inside here. It comes from you receiving something from out there.\u201d This is about who you are in Christ, and this about living in relationship with others in light of and because of what God, in Christ, has done in, and to, and for you. Now, go; forgive because you\u2019re forgiven; amen. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to Voddie Baucham in a message from one of our <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruises a few years ago, just a solid reminder that this is what we\u2019re commanded to do in Christ. Forgiveness, for a Christian, is not one of those things: \u201cOh, maybe I should do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwhen I feel like it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; this is a command of Scripture for you. In fact, those words from Jesus, that if you fail to forgive your heavenly Father won\u2019t forgive you\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean your salvation is conditional\u2014but it means, if you\u2019re not a forgiving person, you need to examine and see, \u201cDo I really know Jesus?\u201d\u2014because forgiven people forgive people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It should be one of the greatest signs that I\u2019m a Christ-follower. The non-churched world should look at the church people and go, \u201cHow can they be so forgiving?\u201d I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s what they think at this point, but that\u2019s what you say. If we can\u2019t do it in our marriages, where can we do it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the thing that it brings is <em>freedom<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>When you don\u2019t forgive someone, it\u2019s attached to you; you carry it with you wherever you go. But to release that\u2014and only the Holy Spirit can help us to do that and do it through us\u2014there is freedom, and it\u2019s pretty great to experience that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just imagine that it\u2019s the middle of February, and it\u2019s cold where you live, but not where you are; because it\u2019s a warm day in the sunshine on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. You start your day with a devotional like that. Throughout the day, you\u2019re with friends. I guarantee you, everybody you meet on the cruise is a friend as soon as you meet them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh yes; it\u2019s amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re in line, waiting for food, you just strike up a conversation; and everybody\u2019s there for the same reason!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s partly because they have an ice cream cone in their right hand! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You go through the day; you have an evening session\/there\u2019s another great message; there are concerts going on that night; there\u2019s an illusionist; there\u2019s a comedian\u2014I mean, there\u2019s just all this stuff thrown in. At the end of the week, you\u2019re relaxed\/you\u2019re refreshed. You\u2019ve had a <em>great<\/em> time, and you\u2019re filled up with what God\u2019s Word has to say about marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are hoping\u2014and actually, it\u2019s starting to look like this is going to happen pretty quickly\u2014that the February 2022 cruise is going to sell out. We have a lot of listeners, who are getting in touch with us, and saying, \u201cWe cannot wait.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have any interest in joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in February of 2022\u2014if you have questions, if you want more information, or if you want to reserve your cabin\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com now. It may be best to call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY and talk with somebody, who can answer any questions you have\/get you set up for the cruise over the phone. Again, the number: 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or again, you can get more information at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut make plans to join us. It\u2019s going to be a <em>great<\/em> getaway next Valentine\u2019s Day\/Valentine\u2019s week: the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. Again, more information\u2019s available at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about what grace looks like in a marriage relationship. The truth is\u2014a lot of us want grace to be a part of our marriage when we\u2019ve done something wrong\u2014but we have a different standard when our spouse does something wrong; then it\u2019s all about the law. We\u2019re going to hear from pastor and author Kevin DeYoung about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch; got some special help from Bruce Goff and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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