{"id":306754,"date":"2021-03-03T21:33:11","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T02:33:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless\/"},"modified":"2021-03-03T21:33:11","modified_gmt":"2021-03-04T02:33:11","slug":"hope-when-things-seem-hopeless","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless\/","title":{"rendered":"Hope When Things Seem Hopeless"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can we have hope when it seems like things can&#8217;t possibly get any worse? Vaneetha Risner talks about her painful diagnosis, her husband&#8217;s rejection, and how God faithfully saw her and her family through it all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:22","filesize":"26.88M","filesize_raw":"28189934","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860,2903,2812,2813],"tags":[4934],"podcast_series":[8431],"cwp_profile":[9695],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306754","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-infidelity","category-realities-of-divorce","category-recovering-from-divorce","tag-overcoming-adversity","podcast_series-walking-through-fire","cwp_profile-vaneetha-risner","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306754\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306754\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"JSdT0xsG58\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless\/\">Hope When Things Seem Hopeless<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-when-things-seem-hopeless\/embed\/#?secret=JSdT0xsG58\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Hope When Things Seem Hopeless&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"JSdT0xsG58\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Vaneetha Risner found out that her husband had been unfaithful, and he said he might want out of their marriage, she had a lot of questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> \u201cWhy was I not enough?\u201d probably went on. \u201cHow dare you,\u201d went on. \u201cHow could you do this to me with all of my physical disability?\u201d \u201cHow could you do this as a Christian?\u201d \u201cHow can you do this to your children?\u201d\u2014all of those things\u2014and \u201cIs it worth it to walk away from an entire life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Among the questions Vaneetha Risner had to wrestle with, when she learned her husband had been unfaithful, was \u201cGod, how do I glorify You in the midst of all of this mess?\u201d We\u2019ll hear how <em>all of<\/em> those questions got resolved as we talk with Vaneetha today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Anybody who\u2019s ever read the first chapter of Job knows how startling a story that is. First of all, Satan appearing before God, and asking for permission from God to afflict Job, and God granting permission. You go, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on there?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then you see the affliction coming. It\u2019s while one messenger is standing there, the next messenger comes and says \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news,\u201d \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news,\u201d and \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news.\u201d You get to the end of Job, Chapter 1; and you feel like this has got to be the most horrible story that\u2019s ever happened to anybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>hard<\/em> to read Job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>hard<\/em> because of the suffering. I\u2019ve struggled with it for years to read it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been talking this week to somebody who\u2014I know you [Vaneetha] would not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you nicknaming her Job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we couldn\u2019t do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What are you doing there? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Vaneetha Risner is joining us, again, on FamilyLife Today. Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t think of yourself in terms like Job; because you read Job 1 and you go, \u201cI\u2019ve had affliction, but not like this man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, he lost everything\u2014all his kids, every\u2014yes, it\u2019s horrible; but with that said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But yes; [Laughter] your affliction compared to others is pretty\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014significant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were misdiagnosed as a baby, and the treatment led to polio in your life. You\u2019ve been a quadriplegic throughout your life. You were in a body cast for a <em>year<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How many surgeries?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Twenty-one before I was thirteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have then gone through miscarriages; and because, again of a misdiagnosis, the death of a son at seven weeks old. If that was the whole story, we would go, \u201cThis is more than most should have to deal with.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to lay down and cry with you at this point; surely, there\u2019s not more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> After the death of your son, Paul, your polio reemerged as an issue with what\u2019s called\u2014is it post-polio?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; post-polio syndrome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I had never heard of it until I was diagnosed with it, or maybe I had and blocked it out; but basically, it happens to about 70 percent of the people who have polio. Basically, what happens is your muscles start to go backwards. All the\u2014whatever limbs were affected by polio\u2014which for me was all four limbs, both arms and both legs\u2014they start to go back to where they were when you <em>first<\/em> got polio. For me, I was a quadriplegic. The doctors basically said, at that point, I needed to cut out everything I was doing; because the hardest thing about post-polio is: the more you do, the weaker you get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey told me when I went in. I went in, because I had some pain in my arm. They said my energy and strength is like money in a bank. Every time I do something, I\u2019m making a withdrawal; but I can\u2019t make any deposits; so the more I do, the weaker I get. I used to be an artist; I did all kinds of things and they told me \u201cStop! Right now.\u201d I remember saying to them \u201cWhat happens if I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> stop? What happens if I just keep doing the things I\u2019m doing?\u201d This woman looked at me and she said, \u201cIn ten years, someone will be feeding you.\u201d I was 38 then; and I thought\u2014and I had two young kids\u2014\"I can\u2019t have somebody feeding me in ten years,\u201d or \u201cIf I can, obviously, God will give me the grace for that\u201d; but I radically have to change my life in terms of the things I was doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a change in identity for me. I feel like I was a helper\u2014I liked to do things for people\u2014I would take meals. All of a sudden, that wasn\u2019t me anymore; I couldn\u2019t take meals. I really couldn\u2019t help people, physically, in any way. I really needed <em>help<\/em> from people. That was really going to the Lord and saying \u201cOkay, help me reframe who I am.\u201d They told me I needed to start using a wheelchair; I had <em>never<\/em> used a wheelchair before that. When they said that, that felt like failure to me, at first; because my parents had worked so hard that I wouldn\u2019t be in a wheelchair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just reframed everything for me. I had to view the adaptive devices that I had as blessings, and that took a while. But I knew, if I didn\u2019t have a wheelchair to use, then maybe I wouldn\u2019t even be able to get around. When you need something, it is a way of looking at things differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoel is amazing\u2014my husband\u2014because he does so much for me to make sure that I don\u2019t overuse my muscles; he\u2019s like, \u201cIf I can do it, ask me to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Anybody who has been following your story, as we\u2019ve talked about it this week, just heard you mention Joel, your husband; but we\u2019ve talked earlier about Dave, your husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s another part of your story. You met Dave in graduate school at Stanford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He knew you had physical limitations when he married you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was not a barrier or an obstacle for him. Along the way, your marriage\u2014you started to recognize there were cracks in the foundation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; six years after my post-polio diagnosis, when I was just trying to figure life out, Dave came home and said he had met someone else; he left. I had two daughters, Katie and Kristi\u2014they were nine and almost thirteen at the time\u2014and our world fell apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave ended up moving to another state, where his company was. My life just hit rock bottom, to be honest. I didn\u2019t know how I was going to make it; because I was a single mom with post-polio, struggling with lots of pain\u2014because post-polio, actually, is fairly painful as well\u2014and two kids, who don\u2019t drive, who are angry because <em>their<\/em> world had fallen apart. We were sort of the perfect little church couple; and life, as I knew it, just unraveled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The perfect little church couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014what happened? I mean, there had to be signs before he said, \u201cI\u2019m out of here\u201d; or did you not see anything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t. I know a lot of people say, \u201cHow could you not have seen it?\u201d We were growing distant; I knew that, but I kept thinking, \u201cOh, it\u2019s just distance; we\u2019re fine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When your husband says to you, \u201cI\u2019ve met somebody else,\u201d what goes on in your soul?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> \u201cWhy was I not enough?\u201d probably went on. \u201cHow dare you,\u201d went on. \u201cHow could you do this to me with all of my physical disability?\u201d \u201cHow could you do this as a Christian?\u201d \u201cHow can you do this to your children?\u201d\u2014all of those things\u2014and \u201cIs it worth it to walk away from an entire life?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you confront him with those kinds of questions?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I did; and his response was: \u201cI don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t have answers to all of those things.\u201d We went back and forth, honestly, for a few years after he left, just trying to decide what we were going to do. Those were hard, hard years for me, just trying to figure out: \u201cWhat is God calling me to do here?\u201d\u2014because I wanted to be faithful to God and say, \u201cGod, I\u2019ll do whatever You call me to do,\u201d\u2014knowing what that was took me a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re trying to figure out how to survive in a country, where you don\u2019t know how to live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> That is <em>exactly<\/em> right. It\u2019s funny that you used that terminology; because I remember one time\u2014this was a few years after he left\u2014and just saying, \u201cGod, are we going to get back together? What am I supposed to do here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI read Jeremiah 29\u2014not the \u201cI know the plans I have for you,\u201d which is a wonderful passage\u2014but before that when Jeremiah says, \u201cYou need to live in this new country,\u201d\u2014like plant gardens; get married\u2014like: \u201cThis is where you\u2019re living.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cThis is your new home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; for me, the Lord was like: \u201cPlant gardens. This is your home right now,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cDon\u2019t be looking to: \u2018If this changes, this is what I\u2019m going to do\u2026\u2019\u201d\u2014but: \u201cHow am I going to live here now?\u201d That really helped me say \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve got to assume we\u2019re going to be <em>here,<\/em> and I need to form my life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like my life was on hold, just thinking, \u201cOh, we\u2019re going to get back together; we\u2019re going to be this happy family. It\u2019s going to be fine,\u201d\u2014and realizing it may or may not happen\u2014but I need to live in this new country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you have that attitude <em>after<\/em> you had written your husband\u2019s mistress a letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I had that attitude <em>after<\/em>; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did that letter say? Are you still fighting for your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Honey, that\u2019s a little personal. [Laughter] I mean, you\u2019re digging in here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going, woman to woman; like I would have written a letter too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Well, it was funny that you mention that, Ann. I wrote her a letter. For people to know, it was not my idea; it was really from a book, <em>Crazy Love<\/em>, by Francis Chan. I read a quote that I felt like God was using to talk to me to say, \u201cWrite her a letter.\u201d Honestly, I said, out loud, \u201cAre You asking me to do that? That seems crazy.\u201d I remember saying it, going to bed, thinking, \u201cThis is not something that I am signing up for; so ask somebody else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sounds like crazy love; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes, it does! [Laughter] Exactly. That\u2019s why I was perfect for that. I just got up in the middle of the night, finally\u2014could not sleep. I wanted to write one kind of a letter, but God did not want that kind of a letter written. It was a letter just sharing with her the gospel, saying, \u201cGod has done so much for me, and I feel called to write that to you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>most<\/em> amazing thing was God changed <em>me<\/em>. I sent the letter, thinking, \u201cOkay; God is going to use this to bring my husband back.\u201d There was going to be a bow on that story, but there was not a bow; and he didn\u2019t come back. I didn\u2019t really hear from her about the letter; I knew she had gotten it, but God changed <em>me<\/em>. I was praying for <em>her<\/em>, because I had written to her what it meant to know Christ and how that radically changes you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just started praying for her every day. It\u2019s hard to pray for someone every day and to be really angry at them. God just started to melt away all of these feelings of resentment and anger, really, way before we had even decided where we were going\u2014my ex-husband and I\u2014I was still wondering if he was going to come back; and yet, I was not angry at <em>her<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hearing that is so supernatural. Because in your book, and I found this interesting, you say the unfaithfulness of your husband was harder and more hurtful than all the pain that you had gone through\u2014losing a child\/your polio\u2014that\u2019s how <em>deep<\/em> that pain was; anybody, that\u2019s experienced that, <em>knows<\/em> that. And then\/yet, you get to a place, where you\u2019re a blessing to a woman that doesn\u2019t deserve it. That\u2019s supernatural; that can\u2019t be done in your own strength.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did Dave say to the girls\/to his daughters? What did <em>you<\/em> say to your daughters about what Daddy was doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Dave told them he was super confused about what was going on in his life and didn\u2019t really have a lot of answers for them. I just told them to pray. I was saying, before that, I wish I had talked to them a little bit more about my <em>own<\/em> pain; because I just sort of put up a wall about my own pain and just listened to them or tried to talk to them. But we did say a lot that: \u201cGod is going to use this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember Laura Story\u2019s song, <em>Blessings<\/em>, was out around that time, and just saying, \u201cWe don\u2019t know how God is going to use this in our life, but we\u2019re going to trust that God is going to use it for good.\u201d But it was hard; because the girls would pray every night for a long time: \u201cBring Daddy back.\u201d That\u2019s gut wrenching when you hear your daughters pray something, and you\u2019re praying it, too; and then God says, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a day when Dave came back?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; he wanted to reconcile for a while; we went back and forth. I think he genuinely wanted that; but at the same time, I felt like he\u2014at the time, I felt like he wasn\u2019t willing to let go of everything\u2014and I really needed a lot of proof: like, \u201cI need to see repentance; I need to see these things,\u201d and I didn\u2019t see them. I really went to God with that and said, \u201cYou tell me what to do.\u201d I felt really clear that God was like: \u201cYou don\u2019t need to do this, because you think this is what a good Christian woman would do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, that was part of my view\u2014was: \u201cI need to stay in this, because Christian women stay in marriages no matter what.\u201d And I felt like God gave me the freedom to say: \u201cWhat is right here? Where have you [Vaneetha] been wronged?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the lines you can draw?\u201d It took a lot of courage, honestly, for me to just draw the line and say, \u201cIf I don\u2019t see this, and this, and this, then I can\u2019t take you back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was complicated, because the other woman was pregnant with his child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes, she was; no matter what happened in this situation, it wasn\u2019t going to be pretty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just want to step in here; because I want to commend your thinking and your processing before the Lord. The most loving thing you can do for someone, in a situation like you were in, is not necessarily to say, \u201cWelcome back home,\u201d but to say, \u201cI want to be an ally in dealing with the sin patterns in your life that have emerged and have become clear, and so there are boundaries here for your good\u2014not just because you have to jump over hoops in order to earn the privilege of moving back in with me\u2014but because you need to be a different person before the Lord for this to work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, some people are going to hear you and think, \u201cWhat? Wait; you\u2019re supposed to be pro-marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I am pro-marriage; and I\u2019m saying to put these kinds of restrictions in place is the most loving thing you can be doing for this spouse, who is breaking the covenant\/who is not loving you well, to say, \u201cI want you to be the husband and the man God has called you to be; therefore, I\u2019m going to say, \u2018Until you\u2019re ready to really deal with this stuff, we\u2019re keeping this up,\u2019\u201d maybe as a motivation for your husband to finally deal with this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what I felt like the Lord was saying\u2014is: \u201cIf it\u2019s too easy, then there doesn\u2019t need to be real repentance.\u201d Somebody doesn\u2019t need to go to God, because we can do a lot in our own strength; but to really change, we can\u2019t do that without Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this was not you saying: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to do this to prove to me this\u2026\u201d or \u201cTo work, you\u2019ve got to jump through these hoops.\u201d This is you saying, \u201cThis is the man God says you need to be, so I want to be your ally in helping you be that man.\u201d Did Dave respond to that at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I think he tried; he wanted to, but he wasn\u2019t able to. I remember our pastor\u2014I got our church really involved in terms of our pastor\u2014because I felt like I needed counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s super wise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha: <\/strong>I could <em>not<\/em> go through this alone, and I needed wisdom. I had a counselor\/a Christian counselor as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember one thing that Tom, our pastor, said is: \u201cRepentance has fruit. We need to see that God is really doing a work.\u201d I don\u2019t want to say that God has not changed him, because he is a believer\u2014I do see that there is change in his life\u2014but I didn\u2019t feel like God was calling <em>me<\/em> back into that marriage and didn\u2019t really see the fruit that I felt I needed to see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Were there ever moments of weakness, where\u2014I mean, it sounds right now, like you were strong the whole time through\u2014but I\u2019m just asking, \u201cWas there an evening, where, \u201cYou know what? I could lower the bar\/bring him home. It would be better for the girls.\u201d Or were you pretty forthright through the whole thing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I\u2019m like jealous\u2014no, I was not strong through the whole thing\u2014I was <em>so torn<\/em>; because I loved our family, and so it was <em>hard<\/em>. I wanted us back together again. There were a lot of times, where I would say, \u201cI want this.\u201d I would call my pastor or my sister and say, \u201cHelp me process this,\u201d because I think we can\u2019t sometimes process those things ourselves. I would go to the Bible; I would journal; I would call people\u2014because there were times when I thought that would be easier\u2014and yet, inside, I knew that wasn\u2019t what God wanted. That wasn\u2019t the <em>highest<\/em> that God had for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is so critical what you\u2019re saying. There\u2019s a listener listening, right now, that\u2019s wrestling with something. They might be thinking, \u201cI can do this on my own.\u201d They can\u2019t; you can\u2019t\u2014you need the body of Christ\u2014that\u2019s what the body of Christ can do. You need a friend or two to give you wise counseling\u2014you modeled that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to advocate for anybody right now: \u201cMake that phone call. You need help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always\u2014in talking with people, who have said, \u201cDo you think I have biblical grounds for divorce in this situation?\u201d\u2014I have said\u2014 \u201cDo the elders in your church think you have biblical grounds? Have they walked through this? Do they know the inside of your story?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is not: \u201cDo I meet the criteria? Can I check this box off that gives me the grounds?\u201d This is people, walking the journey with you, who are stepping in and saying, \u201cYou have the right motivation. You\u2019re doing this right before the Lord, with the right reasons and the appropriate circumstances.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I\u2019ve said\/I\u2019ve said, \u201cThat\u2019s not your call to make. That is the spiritual people around you\/the godly counselors around you speaking into your life. I\u2019m not saying that you don\u2019t have a voice in this. I\u2019m just saying you don\u2019t make this determination about what steps you should be taking to try to heal a broken marriage on your own. This is what the body of Christ is for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think our feelings run so high. I know, when I\u2019m trying to make a decision, and I\u2019m hearing from God, I\u2019m trusting what I\u2019m hearing\u2014but because my emotions are running <em>so high<\/em> in those matters\u2014it is always good to get wise counsel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Oh, I totally agree. It was actually neat; because our pastor came to me one day, and he said, \u201cI want you to know you have the full support of everybody on the elder board if you want to file for divorce.\u201d I ended up <em>not<\/em> being the one who filed; Dave ended up being the one who filed; but at the same time, I didn\u2019t want to do anything that wasn\u2019t in accordance with what God had for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew I had biblical grounds, but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that that\u2019s what God is calling you to do. You really need to seek the Lord on it. That was a really good process for me\u2014not to just go with my first reaction\u2014but to really get wise counsel and hear from God through the Word. I\u2019m <em>very thankful<\/em> I was able to go through it that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know telling this story here\/telling this story in your book, you had to have a lot of prayer, just to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to write a book and share all of this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your girls are still living all of this; your ex-husband is still living all of this. Why did you decide to tell this story as publicly as you\u2019ve told it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I decided because I wanted people to see sort of the inner workings of someone, who has failed; and yet, loved God through it; and what it looks like to authentically walk through suffering. Because I feel like there\u2019s a lot of Christians that have a: \u201cIt\u2019s all good,\u201d sort of veneer over everything that they say. You don\u2019t really have practical help when you\u2019re in the midst of the trenches\u2014like: \u201cMy child has died,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve got a debilitating disease,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m walking through a separation or divorce,\u201d\u2014like, \u201cHow do I\/what do I do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the book, I really try to show what I did poorly, and what I wish I had done differently, and what God guided me to do well, and what God showed me and the things I learned. It\u2019s really hard to do that in a book that\u2019s sort of about doctrine; whereas, a memoir, there\u2019s a way to\u2014it\u2019s sort of a narrative theology\u2014like I can teach you things out of the Bible, and things that I\u2019ve learned, and the ways God has been faithful, and invite you into the journey with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s a beautiful theology of suffering in a narrative form; you\u2019re right. It\u2019s so readable, and it models a biblical viewpoint of how to suffer well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, we want to make your book available, Vaneetha, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who are going through whatever challenges they may be going through\u2014whether it\u2019s health related, as you write about in the book; or whether it\u2019s the loss of a child, or a marriage that takes a turn\u2014you have lived through these things; you have processed these things biblically. You\u2019ve written about them in your book, <em>Walking Through Fire<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re making that book available to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, who can make a donation to help support the ongoing work of this ministry. Your support of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> makes this kind of conversation happen; and you help us distribute it to more people, more often, through your financial support. That\u2019s what you\u2019re investing in\u2014the lives, the marriages, the families of hundreds of thousands of people every day, who are receiving practical biblical help and hope for their marriage and their family through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for your support, whether you\u2019re a monthly Legacy Partner or you make a one-time donation today to help with the ongoing work of this ministry. Be sure to ask for your copy of Vaneetha Risner\u2019s book, <em>Waking Through Fire<\/em>, when you get in touch with us. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or if it\u2019s easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Again, when you make your donation, be sure to ask for your copy of the book, <em>Walking Through Fire,<\/em> by Vaneetha Risner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to get to a part of your story that\u2014well, it\u2019s the happy part of your story. I was going to say it\u2019s the Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Channel part of your story, but there\u2019s no Hallmark movie that rivals the story you\u2019re going to share with us tomorrow. I hope our listeners can tune in for a remarkable love story tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with some help today from Bruce Goff, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Thanks for joining us. Hope to see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:22"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.88M"],"filesize_raw":["28189934"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306754.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306754.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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can we have hope when it seems like things can't possibly get any worse? Vaneetha Risner talks about her painful diagnosis, her husband's rejection, and how God faithfully saw her and her family through it all.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-03-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Vaneetha Risner found out that her husband had been unfaithful, and he said he might want out of their marriage, she had a lot of questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> \u201cWhy was I not enough?\u201d probably went on. \u201cHow dare you,\u201d went on. \u201cHow could you do this to me with all of my physical disability?\u201d \u201cHow could you do this as a Christian?\u201d \u201cHow can you do this to your children?\u201d\u2014all of those things\u2014and \u201cIs it worth it to walk away from an entire life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Among the questions Vaneetha Risner had to wrestle with, when she learned her husband had been unfaithful, was \u201cGod, how do I glorify You in the midst of all of this mess?\u201d We\u2019ll hear how <em>all of<\/em> those questions got resolved as we talk with Vaneetha today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Anybody who\u2019s ever read the first chapter of Job knows how startling a story that is. First of all, Satan appearing before God, and asking for permission from God to afflict Job, and God granting permission. You go, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on there?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then you see the affliction coming. It\u2019s while one messenger is standing there, the next messenger comes and says \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news,\u201d \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news,\u201d and \u201cOh, here\u2019s more bad news.\u201d You get to the end of Job, Chapter 1; and you feel like this has got to be the most horrible story that\u2019s ever happened to anybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>hard<\/em> to read Job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>hard<\/em> because of the suffering. I\u2019ve struggled with it for years to read it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been talking this week to somebody who\u2014I know you [Vaneetha] would not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you nicknaming her Job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we couldn\u2019t do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What are you doing there? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Vaneetha Risner is joining us, again, on FamilyLife Today. Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t think of yourself in terms like Job; because you read Job 1 and you go, \u201cI\u2019ve had affliction, but not like this man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, he lost everything\u2014all his kids, every\u2014yes, it\u2019s horrible; but with that said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But yes; [Laughter] your affliction compared to others is pretty\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014significant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were misdiagnosed as a baby, and the treatment led to polio in your life. You\u2019ve been a quadriplegic throughout your life. You were in a body cast for a <em>year<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How many surgeries?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Twenty-one before I was thirteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have then gone through miscarriages; and because, again of a misdiagnosis, the death of a son at seven weeks old. If that was the whole story, we would go, \u201cThis is more than most should have to deal with.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I want to lay down and cry with you at this point; surely, there\u2019s not more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> After the death of your son, Paul, your polio reemerged as an issue with what\u2019s called\u2014is it post-polio?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; post-polio syndrome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I had never heard of it until I was diagnosed with it, or maybe I had and blocked it out; but basically, it happens to about 70 percent of the people who have polio. Basically, what happens is your muscles start to go backwards. All the\u2014whatever limbs were affected by polio\u2014which for me was all four limbs, both arms and both legs\u2014they start to go back to where they were when you <em>first<\/em> got polio. For me, I was a quadriplegic. The doctors basically said, at that point, I needed to cut out everything I was doing; because the hardest thing about post-polio is: the more you do, the weaker you get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey told me when I went in. I went in, because I had some pain in my arm. They said my energy and strength is like money in a bank. Every time I do something, I\u2019m making a withdrawal; but I can\u2019t make any deposits; so the more I do, the weaker I get. I used to be an artist; I did all kinds of things and they told me \u201cStop! Right now.\u201d I remember saying to them \u201cWhat happens if I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> stop? What happens if I just keep doing the things I\u2019m doing?\u201d This woman looked at me and she said, \u201cIn ten years, someone will be feeding you.\u201d I was 38 then; and I thought\u2014and I had two young kids\u2014\"I can\u2019t have somebody feeding me in ten years,\u201d or \u201cIf I can, obviously, God will give me the grace for that\u201d; but I radically have to change my life in terms of the things I was doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a change in identity for me. I feel like I was a helper\u2014I liked to do things for people\u2014I would take meals. All of a sudden, that wasn\u2019t me anymore; I couldn\u2019t take meals. I really couldn\u2019t help people, physically, in any way. I really needed <em>help<\/em> from people. That was really going to the Lord and saying \u201cOkay, help me reframe who I am.\u201d They told me I needed to start using a wheelchair; I had <em>never<\/em> used a wheelchair before that. When they said that, that felt like failure to me, at first; because my parents had worked so hard that I wouldn\u2019t be in a wheelchair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just reframed everything for me. I had to view the adaptive devices that I had as blessings, and that took a while. But I knew, if I didn\u2019t have a wheelchair to use, then maybe I wouldn\u2019t even be able to get around. When you need something, it is a way of looking at things differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoel is amazing\u2014my husband\u2014because he does so much for me to make sure that I don\u2019t overuse my muscles; he\u2019s like, \u201cIf I can do it, ask me to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Anybody who has been following your story, as we\u2019ve talked about it this week, just heard you mention Joel, your husband; but we\u2019ve talked earlier about Dave, your husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s another part of your story. You met Dave in graduate school at Stanford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He knew you had physical limitations when he married you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was not a barrier or an obstacle for him. Along the way, your marriage\u2014you started to recognize there were cracks in the foundation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; six years after my post-polio diagnosis, when I was just trying to figure life out, Dave came home and said he had met someone else; he left. I had two daughters, Katie and Kristi\u2014they were nine and almost thirteen at the time\u2014and our world fell apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave ended up moving to another state, where his company was. My life just hit rock bottom, to be honest. I didn\u2019t know how I was going to make it; because I was a single mom with post-polio, struggling with lots of pain\u2014because post-polio, actually, is fairly painful as well\u2014and two kids, who don\u2019t drive, who are angry because <em>their<\/em> world had fallen apart. We were sort of the perfect little church couple; and life, as I knew it, just unraveled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The perfect little church couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014what happened? I mean, there had to be signs before he said, \u201cI\u2019m out of here\u201d; or did you not see anything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t. I know a lot of people say, \u201cHow could you not have seen it?\u201d We were growing distant; I knew that, but I kept thinking, \u201cOh, it\u2019s just distance; we\u2019re fine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When your husband says to you, \u201cI\u2019ve met somebody else,\u201d what goes on in your soul?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> \u201cWhy was I not enough?\u201d probably went on. \u201cHow dare you,\u201d went on. \u201cHow could you do this to me with all of my physical disability?\u201d \u201cHow could you do this as a Christian?\u201d \u201cHow can you do this to your children?\u201d\u2014all of those things\u2014and \u201cIs it worth it to walk away from an entire life?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you confront him with those kinds of questions?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I did; and his response was: \u201cI don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t have answers to all of those things.\u201d We went back and forth, honestly, for a few years after he left, just trying to decide what we were going to do. Those were hard, hard years for me, just trying to figure out: \u201cWhat is God calling me to do here?\u201d\u2014because I wanted to be faithful to God and say, \u201cGod, I\u2019ll do whatever You call me to do,\u201d\u2014knowing what that was took me a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re trying to figure out how to survive in a country, where you don\u2019t know how to live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> That is <em>exactly<\/em> right. It\u2019s funny that you used that terminology; because I remember one time\u2014this was a few years after he left\u2014and just saying, \u201cGod, are we going to get back together? What am I supposed to do here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI read Jeremiah 29\u2014not the \u201cI know the plans I have for you,\u201d which is a wonderful passage\u2014but before that when Jeremiah says, \u201cYou need to live in this new country,\u201d\u2014like plant gardens; get married\u2014like: \u201cThis is where you\u2019re living.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cThis is your new home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; for me, the Lord was like: \u201cPlant gardens. This is your home right now,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cDon\u2019t be looking to: \u2018If this changes, this is what I\u2019m going to do\u2026\u2019\u201d\u2014but: \u201cHow am I going to live here now?\u201d That really helped me say \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve got to assume we\u2019re going to be <em>here,<\/em> and I need to form my life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like my life was on hold, just thinking, \u201cOh, we\u2019re going to get back together; we\u2019re going to be this happy family. It\u2019s going to be fine,\u201d\u2014and realizing it may or may not happen\u2014but I need to live in this new country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you have that attitude <em>after<\/em> you had written your husband\u2019s mistress a letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I had that attitude <em>after<\/em>; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did that letter say? Are you still fighting for your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Honey, that\u2019s a little personal. [Laughter] I mean, you\u2019re digging in here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going, woman to woman; like I would have written a letter too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Well, it was funny that you mention that, Ann. I wrote her a letter. For people to know, it was not my idea; it was really from a book, <em>Crazy Love<\/em>, by Francis Chan. I read a quote that I felt like God was using to talk to me to say, \u201cWrite her a letter.\u201d Honestly, I said, out loud, \u201cAre You asking me to do that? That seems crazy.\u201d I remember saying it, going to bed, thinking, \u201cThis is not something that I am signing up for; so ask somebody else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Sounds like crazy love; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes, it does! [Laughter] Exactly. That\u2019s why I was perfect for that. I just got up in the middle of the night, finally\u2014could not sleep. I wanted to write one kind of a letter, but God did not want that kind of a letter written. It was a letter just sharing with her the gospel, saying, \u201cGod has done so much for me, and I feel called to write that to you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>most<\/em> amazing thing was God changed <em>me<\/em>. I sent the letter, thinking, \u201cOkay; God is going to use this to bring my husband back.\u201d There was going to be a bow on that story, but there was not a bow; and he didn\u2019t come back. I didn\u2019t really hear from her about the letter; I knew she had gotten it, but God changed <em>me<\/em>. I was praying for <em>her<\/em>, because I had written to her what it meant to know Christ and how that radically changes you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just started praying for her every day. It\u2019s hard to pray for someone every day and to be really angry at them. God just started to melt away all of these feelings of resentment and anger, really, way before we had even decided where we were going\u2014my ex-husband and I\u2014I was still wondering if he was going to come back; and yet, I was not angry at <em>her<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hearing that is so supernatural. Because in your book, and I found this interesting, you say the unfaithfulness of your husband was harder and more hurtful than all the pain that you had gone through\u2014losing a child\/your polio\u2014that\u2019s how <em>deep<\/em> that pain was; anybody, that\u2019s experienced that, <em>knows<\/em> that. And then\/yet, you get to a place, where you\u2019re a blessing to a woman that doesn\u2019t deserve it. That\u2019s supernatural; that can\u2019t be done in your own strength.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did Dave say to the girls\/to his daughters? What did <em>you<\/em> say to your daughters about what Daddy was doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Dave told them he was super confused about what was going on in his life and didn\u2019t really have a lot of answers for them. I just told them to pray. I was saying, before that, I wish I had talked to them a little bit more about my <em>own<\/em> pain; because I just sort of put up a wall about my own pain and just listened to them or tried to talk to them. But we did say a lot that: \u201cGod is going to use this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember Laura Story\u2019s song, <em>Blessings<\/em>, was out around that time, and just saying, \u201cWe don\u2019t know how God is going to use this in our life, but we\u2019re going to trust that God is going to use it for good.\u201d But it was hard; because the girls would pray every night for a long time: \u201cBring Daddy back.\u201d That\u2019s gut wrenching when you hear your daughters pray something, and you\u2019re praying it, too; and then God says, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a day when Dave came back?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes; he wanted to reconcile for a while; we went back and forth. I think he genuinely wanted that; but at the same time, I felt like he\u2014at the time, I felt like he wasn\u2019t willing to let go of everything\u2014and I really needed a lot of proof: like, \u201cI need to see repentance; I need to see these things,\u201d and I didn\u2019t see them. I really went to God with that and said, \u201cYou tell me what to do.\u201d I felt really clear that God was like: \u201cYou don\u2019t need to do this, because you think this is what a good Christian woman would do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, that was part of my view\u2014was: \u201cI need to stay in this, because Christian women stay in marriages no matter what.\u201d And I felt like God gave me the freedom to say: \u201cWhat is right here? Where have you [Vaneetha] been wronged?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the lines you can draw?\u201d It took a lot of courage, honestly, for me to just draw the line and say, \u201cIf I don\u2019t see this, and this, and this, then I can\u2019t take you back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was complicated, because the other woman was pregnant with his child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes, she was; no matter what happened in this situation, it wasn\u2019t going to be pretty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just want to step in here; because I want to commend your thinking and your processing before the Lord. The most loving thing you can do for someone, in a situation like you were in, is not necessarily to say, \u201cWelcome back home,\u201d but to say, \u201cI want to be an ally in dealing with the sin patterns in your life that have emerged and have become clear, and so there are boundaries here for your good\u2014not just because you have to jump over hoops in order to earn the privilege of moving back in with me\u2014but because you need to be a different person before the Lord for this to work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, some people are going to hear you and think, \u201cWhat? Wait; you\u2019re supposed to be pro-marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I am pro-marriage; and I\u2019m saying to put these kinds of restrictions in place is the most loving thing you can be doing for this spouse, who is breaking the covenant\/who is not loving you well, to say, \u201cI want you to be the husband and the man God has called you to be; therefore, I\u2019m going to say, \u2018Until you\u2019re ready to really deal with this stuff, we\u2019re keeping this up,\u2019\u201d maybe as a motivation for your husband to finally deal with this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what I felt like the Lord was saying\u2014is: \u201cIf it\u2019s too easy, then there doesn\u2019t need to be real repentance.\u201d Somebody doesn\u2019t need to go to God, because we can do a lot in our own strength; but to really change, we can\u2019t do that without Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this was not you saying: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to do this to prove to me this\u2026\u201d or \u201cTo work, you\u2019ve got to jump through these hoops.\u201d This is you saying, \u201cThis is the man God says you need to be, so I want to be your ally in helping you be that man.\u201d Did Dave respond to that at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I think he tried; he wanted to, but he wasn\u2019t able to. I remember our pastor\u2014I got our church really involved in terms of our pastor\u2014because I felt like I needed counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s super wise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha: <\/strong>I could <em>not<\/em> go through this alone, and I needed wisdom. I had a counselor\/a Christian counselor as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember one thing that Tom, our pastor, said is: \u201cRepentance has fruit. We need to see that God is really doing a work.\u201d I don\u2019t want to say that God has not changed him, because he is a believer\u2014I do see that there is change in his life\u2014but I didn\u2019t feel like God was calling <em>me<\/em> back into that marriage and didn\u2019t really see the fruit that I felt I needed to see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Were there ever moments of weakness, where\u2014I mean, it sounds right now, like you were strong the whole time through\u2014but I\u2019m just asking, \u201cWas there an evening, where, \u201cYou know what? I could lower the bar\/bring him home. It would be better for the girls.\u201d Or were you pretty forthright through the whole thing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I\u2019m like jealous\u2014no, I was not strong through the whole thing\u2014I was <em>so torn<\/em>; because I loved our family, and so it was <em>hard<\/em>. I wanted us back together again. There were a lot of times, where I would say, \u201cI want this.\u201d I would call my pastor or my sister and say, \u201cHelp me process this,\u201d because I think we can\u2019t sometimes process those things ourselves. I would go to the Bible; I would journal; I would call people\u2014because there were times when I thought that would be easier\u2014and yet, inside, I knew that wasn\u2019t what God wanted. That wasn\u2019t the <em>highest<\/em> that God had for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is so critical what you\u2019re saying. There\u2019s a listener listening, right now, that\u2019s wrestling with something. They might be thinking, \u201cI can do this on my own.\u201d They can\u2019t; you can\u2019t\u2014you need the body of Christ\u2014that\u2019s what the body of Christ can do. You need a friend or two to give you wise counseling\u2014you modeled that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to advocate for anybody right now: \u201cMake that phone call. You need help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always\u2014in talking with people, who have said, \u201cDo you think I have biblical grounds for divorce in this situation?\u201d\u2014I have said\u2014 \u201cDo the elders in your church think you have biblical grounds? Have they walked through this? Do they know the inside of your story?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is not: \u201cDo I meet the criteria? Can I check this box off that gives me the grounds?\u201d This is people, walking the journey with you, who are stepping in and saying, \u201cYou have the right motivation. You\u2019re doing this right before the Lord, with the right reasons and the appropriate circumstances.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I\u2019ve said\/I\u2019ve said, \u201cThat\u2019s not your call to make. That is the spiritual people around you\/the godly counselors around you speaking into your life. I\u2019m not saying that you don\u2019t have a voice in this. I\u2019m just saying you don\u2019t make this determination about what steps you should be taking to try to heal a broken marriage on your own. This is what the body of Christ is for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think our feelings run so high. I know, when I\u2019m trying to make a decision, and I\u2019m hearing from God, I\u2019m trusting what I\u2019m hearing\u2014but because my emotions are running <em>so high<\/em> in those matters\u2014it is always good to get wise counsel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Oh, I totally agree. It was actually neat; because our pastor came to me one day, and he said, \u201cI want you to know you have the full support of everybody on the elder board if you want to file for divorce.\u201d I ended up <em>not<\/em> being the one who filed; Dave ended up being the one who filed; but at the same time, I didn\u2019t want to do anything that wasn\u2019t in accordance with what God had for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew I had biblical grounds, but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that that\u2019s what God is calling you to do. You really need to seek the Lord on it. That was a really good process for me\u2014not to just go with my first reaction\u2014but to really get wise counsel and hear from God through the Word. I\u2019m <em>very thankful<\/em> I was able to go through it that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know telling this story here\/telling this story in your book, you had to have a lot of prayer, just to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to write a book and share all of this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your girls are still living all of this; your ex-husband is still living all of this. Why did you decide to tell this story as publicly as you\u2019ve told it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Vaneetha:<\/strong> I decided because I wanted people to see sort of the inner workings of someone, who has failed; and yet, loved God through it; and what it looks like to authentically walk through suffering. Because I feel like there\u2019s a lot of Christians that have a: \u201cIt\u2019s all good,\u201d sort of veneer over everything that they say. You don\u2019t really have practical help when you\u2019re in the midst of the trenches\u2014like: \u201cMy child has died,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve got a debilitating disease,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m walking through a separation or divorce,\u201d\u2014like, \u201cHow do I\/what do I do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the book, I really try to show what I did poorly, and what I wish I had done differently, and what God guided me to do well, and what God showed me and the things I learned. It\u2019s really hard to do that in a book that\u2019s sort of about doctrine; whereas, a memoir, there\u2019s a way to\u2014it\u2019s sort of a narrative theology\u2014like I can teach you things out of the Bible, and things that I\u2019ve learned, and the ways God has been faithful, and invite you into the journey with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s a beautiful theology of suffering in a narrative form; you\u2019re right. It\u2019s so readable, and it models a biblical viewpoint of how to suffer well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, we want to make your book available, Vaneetha, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who are going through whatever challenges they may be going through\u2014whether it\u2019s health related, as you write about in the book; or whether it\u2019s the loss of a child, or a marriage that takes a turn\u2014you have lived through these things; you have processed these things biblically. You\u2019ve written about them in your book, <em>Walking Through Fire<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re making that book available to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, who can make a donation to help support the ongoing work of this ministry. Your support of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> makes this kind of conversation happen; and you help us distribute it to more people, more often, through your financial support. That\u2019s what you\u2019re investing in\u2014the lives, the marriages, the families of hundreds of thousands of people every day, who are receiving practical biblical help and hope for their marriage and their family through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for your support, whether you\u2019re a monthly Legacy Partner or you make a one-time donation today to help with the ongoing work of this ministry. Be sure to ask for your copy of Vaneetha Risner\u2019s book, <em>Waking Through Fire<\/em>, when you get in touch with us. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or if it\u2019s easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Again, when you make your donation, be sure to ask for your copy of the book, <em>Walking Through Fire,<\/em> by Vaneetha Risner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to get to a part of your story that\u2014well, it\u2019s the happy part of your story. I was going to say it\u2019s the Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Channel part of your story, but there\u2019s no Hallmark movie that rivals the story you\u2019re going to share with us tomorrow. I hope our listeners can tune in for a remarkable love story tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with some help today from Bruce Goff, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Thanks for joining us. Hope to see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306754"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306754"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306754"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306754"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}