{"id":306737,"date":"2021-02-19T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-02-19T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy\/"},"modified":"2021-02-19T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-02-19T12:00:05","slug":"how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy\/","title":{"rendered":"How Gratitude Maximizes Our Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There is good that can come from some of our most difficult circumstances. Join hosts Dave and Ann Wilson as they speak with pastor and author Sam Crabtree about the benefits we receive in practicing gratitude in the midst of hard times, on FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is good that can come from some of our most difficult circumstances. Pastor and author Sam Crabtree speaks about the benefits we receive in practicing gratitude in the midst of hard times.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:55","filesize":"24.65M","filesize_raw":"25845560","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4976],"podcast_series":[8429],"cwp_profile":[3358],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306737","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-thankfulness","podcast_series-practicing-thankfulness","cwp_profile-sam-crabtree","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306737\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306737\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"tkanVb11IV\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy\/\">How Gratitude Maximizes Our Joy<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-gratitude-maximizes-our-joy\/embed\/#?secret=tkanVb11IV\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How Gratitude Maximizes Our Joy&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"tkanVb11IV\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":[""],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. We read in the Bible that God is working everything in our lives for good for those who love Him\/for those who are called according to His purposes. Sam Crabtree joins us today to help us understand how, as a result of that, we can give thanks in all things. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And  to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. When I was in the\u2014I think it was seventh grade\u2014our family took a family spring break trip from St. Louis to Panama City Beach, a week in Florida as a family. My parents told me that I could invite a friend to go along. I asked my new best friend Tom Darr, who we\u2019d just met, \u201cDo you want to go to spring break with us?\u201d He said, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\nWe were having a great time. Well, Tom\u2014I don\u2019t know if his mom and dad taught him this or if this was just his temperament or personality\u2014but throughout the trip, anything we would do\u2014like at the end of any lunch or dinner, or walk down to the beach, or whatever, Tom was like: \u201cThank you very much,\u201d \u201cThank you very much.\u201d I mean, it was just to the point, that my mom started laughing at how often Tom said, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d\n\nIt kind of became a family joke. After vacation was over, we were: \u201cThank you very much,\u201d \u201cNo; thank you very much.\u201d We were going back and forth with that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is a good kid to take on vacation.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He is good; but I  to tell you, Bob: you sound like Elvis when you say, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thank you very much; yes. [Laughter]\n\nWe\u2019re talking about how important practicing gratitude is this week, and we\u2019ve got Sam Crabtree joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Sam,  back.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Thanks. It\u2019s nice to know Bob Lepine \u201cain\u2019t nothing but a hound dog\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ccrying all the time!\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, every mother is hearing this, thinking, \u201cHow do I get my child to be grateful?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that\u2019s part of what we want to talk about today. Sam has written a book called <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>, which, as the title implies\u2014and we\u2019ve already talked about\u2014this may be an innate personality type for some people; but this is something that takes practice\/that takes work. You don\u2019t get better at it\u2014just like football or any other sport\u2014you don\u2019t get better unless you are practicing this.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Especially when our  aren\u2019t great.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; let\u2019s start where Ann was taking us here. How can we, as parents, cultivate, and train, and instruct our kids? Is it just teaching them to be polite, or does it go beyond that?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; one of the observations I would want to make from the get-go is that I don\u2019t think the practice of thankfulness is mainly just good manners; you know? You teach your children to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d as the obligatory social sign-off of a transaction of some kind. I mean, that\u2019s not bad to teach your children good manners, including to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s good\u2014but what we want to grow is the earnestness from the child\u2019s heart so that they have lips that say, \u201cThank you\u201d; but the hearts are not far from the \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> There is an actual <em>valuing<\/em> that grows in the heart of the child.\n\n\u201cHow do you get children to do it?\u201d is Ann\u2019s very good and practical question. We\u2019re all somebody\u2019s children. The first answer to it is: \u201cModel it.\u201d If you want your children to be grateful, do they see mom and dad grousing about this and that?\u2014complaining and whining?\u2014and bah-bah this?\u2014and wah-wah that?\u2014and \u201cI hate this\u201d? There\u2019s really a plague of outrage in Western culture these days, where we so quickly get uppity about this, that, or the other thing. That\u2019s one: \u201cModel it.\u201d\n\nNumber two: \u201cSeek, in order to model it, a heart of humility that recognizes, \u2018We don\u2019t get to have everything the way we want it. There is an infinitely wise God, who has orchestrated a lot of things to go the way I wouldn\u2019t do it if I were God.\u2019\u201d It\u2019s a good thing for the universe I\u2019m not God, because I would have blown it all by now; but to seek the right kind of heart that really is a grateful heart. This is a heart thing, not just a social practice thing\u2014like, \u201cWhere do you set the spoons, and where do you set the forks?\u201d\u2014this is: \u201cHow do you tune your <em>heart<\/em>?\u201d\n\n\u201cThe eyes of faith that see what God is doing have to be awakened in the individual.\u201d You can teach an unbelieving child, who grows up to be an unbeliever, to do the polite thing\u2014and send thank-you notes after they get wedding gifts and all of that sort of thing\u2014but the heart transformation that is required is a divine work; it is a God work. To get your children to be thankful, we have to pray that God will do that. Romans 10\u2014Paul said it was his earnest desire that his brothers would be saved\/that his people would be saved\u2014so we want to pray for our children that they would become grateful.\n\nFourth, \u201cReminders  hurt: \u2018Are you glad you got that thing from Grandma and Grandpa? Well, what would you like to say to Grandma and Grandpa?\u2019\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhat kind of note would you like to write to them?\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cA thank-you note; yes.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; so there are steps that can be taken. I\/in the book, I included a list of 100\u2014is that what it is?\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014a list of 100 practical things that a person can do. Not all of them would apply to children; but a person could look through that list, and do a little shopping for: \u201cWhich things we\u2019d like to try in our home.\u201d There are some suggestions on how to get children moved farther down the path towards living a <em>pattern<\/em> of gratefulness.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I think you are right; that modeling piece is really important. I know that Dave and I made a mistake as\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Our only mistake, maybe?\u2014that was the one\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Maybe\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that day. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014some of you have done this, where we would go to church\u2014and mind you, we helped start the church\u2014so we found ourselves\/we would sit at the table after church, and we would critique the service.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; they would critique the pastor\u2014that\u2019s what they would do\u2014I was not part of this! I was the one being critiqued.\n\nNo; Ann is right. We would critique the music\/critique every part\u2014because we had a lot of designing\u2014everything that was going to happen that day\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014we had a say in it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think we modeled for our kids: \u201cThat\u2019s what you do at church. You go, and you rate it: \u2018Hey, on a scale of 1 to 10, how did it go today?\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cHow did you like the movie?\u201d \u201cHow did you like the church?\u201d\u2014I mean, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s almost producing consumer\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014believers.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sure.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t model being thankful for even an average service.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWasn\u2019t it <em>great<\/em> to be together?\u201d \u201cWasn\u2019t it good just to <em>worship<\/em> together?\u201d Then, to even ask the question, \u201cHow did God speak to you today?\u201d\n\nI feel bad\u2014because what we found is\u2014then teenagers\/our teenagers would come home, and what were they doing? Modeling exactly what we had done for years.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Lord, have mercy on us. [Laughter] Well, I think it\u2019s even broader than that\u2014that creative people\u2014you\u2019re all creative people here.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> You\u2019re creating a ministry, and programs, church. Creative people see how something could be better, and then they have a tendency then to focus on what\u2019s lacking that could be better. They start to concentrate on that flaw\u2014that weakness\/that shortcoming\u2014in whatever it is: the football team, or the church, or the radio program, or the guest speaker\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014spouse.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014or whatever. If the focus  there on what\u2019s missing\u2014what\u2019s absent\/what are the shortcomings and the failures\u2014then we become critical; we become complainers. It\u2019s a pitfall that goes with being creative.\n\nTo counterbalance that, we need to consciously <em>practice<\/em> thankfulness; make it a practice. You can get up in the morning and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this.\u201d We had, here in Minneapolis a few years ago, the captain of the University of Minnesota women\u2019s basketball team, Brittany McCoy went to our church. She made a practice of, everyday with her cell phone, taking a picture of something for which she was thankful that she\u2019d never taken a picture of before.\n\nShe was practicing; she was practicing. Putting that habit and that pattern into one\u2019s life helps counterbalance. I mean, it was a very creative thing for her to do\u2014to see: \u201cWhat pictures are missing in my collection?\u201d\u2014you could take a negative approach to it\u2014but she was adding\/piling up things for which she was grateful. I just think, \u201cWhat a great, creative idea\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto counterbalance taking things for granted.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong>  and you say in your book\u2014and you\u2019ve said it already today\u2014it\u2019s seeing it, because we can be blind to it. There are all of these things around us. The very breath we are breathing right now we could be thankful for if we just thought for a second\/used our brain and go, \u201cWow!\u201d\n\nI remember one year, years ago, we were\u2014the Detroit Lions were playing the Packers at Lambeau [Field]\u2014away game\/end of the season. In fact, every year, as soon as the season came out, that was the first thing we did: \u201cAre we going to play in Green Bay in December?\u201d [Laughter] You know, it\u2019s going to be cold, and it was; it was like December 23<sup>rd<\/sup>. We\u2019re out of the playoffs; it\u2019s a meaningless game, and we have to go there.\n\nThe whole time, I\u2019m mad\/grumbling\u2014getting on the plane\/going there\u2014leaving my family right around Christmas. I just had a bad attitude, like, \u201cI just don\u2019t want to be on this trip. I don\u2019t think <em>anybody<\/em> does. It doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget the first half of that game; we\u2019re getting beat, and I\u2019m standing there. The whole time, I\u2019m like, \u201cI could be home. I could be\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwarm.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014\u201cby the fireplace,\u201d\u2014all of the things I could be doing.\n\nI had that bad attitude going at halftime. I had a shift\u2014I\u2019m looking at the locker room at halftime\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m at Lambeau in December with an NFL team on the sideline! How many people would <em>pay<\/em> to do this?\u201d I\u2019ll never forget\u2014I walked down the tunnel; I\u2019m standing just by the doors. Players are running on. One of the guys comes out that I know really well; he complains, \u201cLook at this; we are going to get beat again at Lambeau.\u201d As I jog with him to our sideline, I go, \u201cDude! Look at where we are! We are in Lambeau playing <em>football<\/em> on Sunday night.  it get any better than this?! Let\u2019s have a blast!\u201d He looks at me like, \u201cAre you crazy?!\u201d It changed his attitude.\n\nIt was just like you said: \u201cIt was seeing, practicing.\u201d Now, we still got beat; there was a long flight home, but it was one of those moments, where, again, it\u2019s like: \u201cYou can choose to practice this; you can choose to miss it.\u201d But if you don\u2019t stop, every once and a while and see it, you\u2019ll miss it; right?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, even getting beat, I mean, it\u2019s good for our humility.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Do you  to be cocky, or do you want to be a humble person? You take a few defeats along the line because God has ordained that that is the way we get off of our high horse, as it were. You were <em>awake<\/em> to  details around you.\n\nI\u2019ve tried to make a practice, in the strength that God supplies, to thank Him for something I\u2019ve never thanked Him before\/thanked Him for before, regularly. The other day, I remember one that was like, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve thanked God for clouds before; but I\u2019ve never thanked God for <em>that<\/em> particular cloud before. That particular cloud was never here before for me\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto give thanks for.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> But in a table grace, for example\u2014instead of: \u201cThank You for these blessings,\u201d \u201c\u2026for all this food. Amen\u201d; but to think: \u201cThank You for these potatoes\u2014<em>these<\/em> potatoes and the soil within which they grew, and the sunlight that came from 93 million miles away to make them grow, and absorb nutrients and water from the soil, and the leaves did their photosynthesis miracle,\u201d \u201cThank You for butter. Butter\u2014what an amazing thing!\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Amen.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbutter\u2014that the sun comes 93 million miles; it makes some grass; the cow eats that grass; it goes through four stomachs; finally gets to that udder. It\u2019s taken to the creamery, and they make butter.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Your kids are like, \u201cDad, can we eat now?\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sometimes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s beautiful, though\/really, to stop, and look, and appreciate. Let me ask you this: \u201cDo you think God is pleased when His children thank Him?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh my! Yes; we exalt His name when we notice the details of what He has done. I mean, I held an apple the other day. I thought\/I mean, we think apples are red; but you look carefully, there are these little stripes, and little dots, and subtle colorations in it. That whole apple\u2014that whole thing there\/that tennis ball- or grapefruit-sized thing\u2014all of that material got there through that little, skinny stem. That\u2019s just <em>amazing<\/em>; \u201cHave I stopped to be  and to thank God that He designed that to work that way?\u201d\n\nEven the cold\u2014when you were cold at Lambeau Field\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> I bet the mosquitoes weren\u2019t bad. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re right. There were no mosquitos.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have a best friend; when their kids were younger, they were really struggling. She was struggling, because her husband was travelling all the time. She had three young daughters. She was noticing that they were saying sarcastic things about their dad being gone a lot, which she realized was actually coming from her. They were picking up her attitude\/her disappointment. She said, \u201cMy home was\/I was creating an environment in my home that was almost toxic.\u201d\n\nShe said\/so she had been praying: \u201cWe had been talking and praying about this whole situation of trying to see the good.\u201d She started a journal; it was a grateful journal. Whereas before\u2014her husband would be rushing from a meeting to try to get to the soccer game\u2014instead of saying\/before, \u201cWhy are you always late to these games?\u201d she would get out her journal. She would write in it, and she would date it. She said to her husband, \u201cThank you for making it to our daughter\u2019s soccer game. It must have been hard getting through traffic, leaving work early; but you still made the effort.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> What a different mindset.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\nAnother one would be: \u201cThank you for going out in the cold and putting up the Christmas lights on the trees.\u201d She said, \u201cBefore, I would have said, \u2018Why are you doing it this way? You should do it on this tree.\u2019\u201d But she started <em>seeing<\/em> the greatness and the thankfulness that she had for what he was doing; so then, every year on his birthday, she gives him this journal. It\u2019s\u2014every time it is dated\u2014she tries to do it, maybe, two or three times a month, where she would just log in a little gratefulness passage of what he had done. He sits down on his birthday, and he <em>cries<\/em> the entire way through this journal. It has changed him; hasn\u2019t it, Dave?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; every husband\u2019s saying, \u201cI wish my wife would write a journal\u201d; but it really is a beautiful thing.\n\n about the heart of God, I remember one time, years ago, we took our kids to an amusement park in Ohio; it\u2019s Cedar Point.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You guys have heard of Cedar Point?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s one of the top five in the  We would do it every year, and we took them out of school. By the way, I\u2019m not saying you should do this, parents; but Ohio is still in school\u2014we took them out\u2014because we\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lines are shorter.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong>  would be no lines.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember\u2014you know, as a dad with young kids\u2014it\u2019s chaos. You\u2019re spending way more money than you want to; you\u2019re exhausted; you\u2019ve done the whole thing. We get home; and I\u2019m complaining, all the way home, like, \u201cThey don\u2019t even appreciate this. We did all this stuff.\u201d I mean, they are\u2014what?\u2014eight, nine, ten. Maybe, our oldest was 11 years old. They are asleep by the time we get them home, because they fell asleep on the drive home; it\u2019s three hours from where we are.\n\nI put them to bed. I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. My oldest, CJ, comes in the bathroom, and just opens the door, and goes, \u201cHey, Dad, thanks!\u201d He walks out. It was like, \u201cNo problem! That was awesome. Greatest day ever!\u201d I mean, that one word from an 11-year-old kid\u2014that he actually stopped for a second and said, \u201cHey, thanks. It was really a great day,\u201d\/all he said was \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014it was like my heart just jumped. I thought, \u201cIf that\u2019s how God feels when his son or his daughter says, \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014man oh man!\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is a moment to say, \u201cI\u2019m grateful; thank You.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, the  of the thanks\u2014in this case, mainly God; but also, horizontally other people\u2014it\u2019s energizing for <em>them<\/em>. I also argue that it enlarges the heart of the person, who is expressing the thankfulness; <em>and<\/em> it ramps up or completes, if I could use that word, the pleasure in the thing for which you are giving thanks. You enjoy it more when you express that you are enjoying it\u2014that you are grateful for it\/that you didn\u2019t deserve it, and here it came.\n\nThat makes\/you have an expanded capability of being, as Ann has talked about\u2014you can look on the positive side of things; you can look on the negative side of things\u2014[with gratitude] you just become more of a delight to live with yourself\/to live with yourself, much less for other people to live around you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, have you had an experience or more in your life, where you are going through something hard\/a real trial, and you\u2019re still able to be thankful?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; but not always in the moment. Yes; I\u2019m a sinner, and I have sinful inertia in my life. I\u2019m not going to claim to have mastered this. It\u2019s an interesting phenomenon. Many people who write books or preach sermons preach to themselves, like, \u201cI need to hear this; this is why I need to drill into this particular topic.\u201d\n\nBut in the long  and I\u2019ve tested this with <em>many<\/em> people, who would say that, if they look back over their life, and they identify <em>the<\/em>  experiences they ever went through\u2014stuff they don\u2019t ever want to have happen again\/stuff that they pray will never happen to the people that they love\u2014nevertheless, it\u2019s true in my life and in theirs\u2014God was up to such <em>profound<\/em> good that, now, they are thankful; and they wouldn\u2019t have God remove that from their life.\n\nHave I ever had hard experiences?\u2014yes\u2014so hard I don\u2019t talk about them much?\u2014but they were <em>so good<\/em> for me. God was <em>so refining<\/em> in that chapter\/in those experiences to this day. If that\u2019s the way He\u2019s going to go about refining me, He is infinitely wise; I just trust Him with that. That was the way He needed to awaken me and develop in me aspects of Christlikeness that I don\u2019t think I would have developed any other way.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember talking to my sister; we had both gone through abuse. Years later, we sat and talked about the multitude of women that we had a chance to care for their souls, and lead them to Christ, and encourage them in that Jesus could heal that pain that they had gone through because we had experienced the freedom that God brings through our surrendering of our lives through our pain\/through our wounds that we had. I remember both of us saying, \u201cI would go through it again\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cin order to save those people from what they feel right now.\u201d Now, in the moment, I couldn\u2019t have said that; but years later, I know that some people think that\u2019s unbelievable; but yes, God <em>refines<\/em> us in it.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Pretty  as well, that there are some wives and husbands who need to start practicing thankfulness. They need to start intentionally\/purposefully saying\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u201cThank You.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and looking for the things to be grateful for\u2014writing the journals like you talked about, Ann\u2014and begin the day by saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to <em>look<\/em> for the things to be grateful for today,\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cOpen my eyes, Jesus.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand I\u2019m going to rejoice in those things,\u201d\u2014not just like\u2014\u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got my three; now, I can be <em>done<\/em> with this. [Laughter] Now, I can go back to grousing.\u201d\n\nI remember a conversation, years ago, with Elisabeth Elliot. She used this illustration; I\u2019ve never forgotten it. She said, \u201cYou know how sometimes somebody will put an ink pen in their shirt pocket, and it\u2014you get a little spot\u201d; right?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The ink leaks, and all of a sudden, at the  of the pocket, there is a little purple spot. She said, \u201cThe shirt is 99.76 percent white, but where are your eyes drawn?\u2014to that little purple spot. What do you focus on and obsess on?\u2014you go, \u2018This ruins <em>everything<\/em>.\u2019\u201d Now, nobody likes to have an ink spot on their shirt, and it is awkward; but she said, \u201cHow many of us are so hyper-focused on the one little thing that we\u2019re missing the beauty around us and being grateful for the beauty around us?\u201d\n\nBefore I say your book reminds us of this, your <em>life<\/em> reminds us of this; because this is true of you. We\u2019re grateful that you\u2019ve let a little of you rub off on us.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> May God be pleased.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thanks for being here. We do have copies of Sam\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The book is called <em> Thankfulness: Cultivating a Grateful Heart in All Circumstances <\/em>. You can  your copy of the book when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy. Again, the title of the book is <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. Order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy; that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nNow, we want to say a  word of thanks to those of you who have made today\u2019s program possible. You make the ministry of FamilyLife <sup>\u00ae<\/sup> possible anytime you  a donation. We are dependent, as a ministry, on your financial support for everything we do. In fact, in this season, we are more dependent on your donations than we have ever been before. So we are grateful when we hear from listeners, who say, \u201cWe want to see the ministry of FamilyLife, not just sustain; we want to see it expand. We want to see it advanced.\u201d Thank you for your donations. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, thank you for being the financial backbone of this ministry. We are so grateful for you.\n\nIf  able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book. We talked with Gary earlier this week about his book, <em>When to Walk Away: How to Deal with<\/em>\u2014what he refers to as\u2014<em>Toxic Relationships<\/em>. Some of us know about those. The book is our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you when you are able to help with a gift today. Go online and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; and be sure to ask about your copy of the book, <em>When to Walk Away<\/em>, by  Thomas when you get in touch with us. We\u2019re happy to send it to you. Thanks, again, for your support of this ministry. We are\u2014as we talked about today\u2014we are <em>grateful<\/em> for that support.\n\nWe hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about being single, about dating, about getting engaged, about how to know when to ask the question or when to say, \u201cYes.\u201d What\u2019s the right time? How do you deal with the single years? Marshall Segal is going to be here to walk us through that. I hope you can be with us as well.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. We got some help this week from Bruce Goff and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a  of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru <sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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is good that can come from some of our most difficult circumstances. Pastor and author Sam Crabtree speaks about the benefits we receive in practicing gratitude in the midst of hard times.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. We read in the Bible that God is working everything in our lives for good for those who love Him\/for those who are called according to His purposes. Sam Crabtree joins us today to help us understand how, as a result of that, we can give thanks in all things. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And  to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. When I was in the\u2014I think it was seventh grade\u2014our family took a family spring break trip from St. Louis to Panama City Beach, a week in Florida as a family. My parents told me that I could invite a friend to go along. I asked my new best friend Tom Darr, who we\u2019d just met, \u201cDo you want to go to spring break with us?\u201d He said, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\nWe were having a great time. Well, Tom\u2014I don\u2019t know if his mom and dad taught him this or if this was just his temperament or personality\u2014but throughout the trip, anything we would do\u2014like at the end of any lunch or dinner, or walk down to the beach, or whatever, Tom was like: \u201cThank you very much,\u201d \u201cThank you very much.\u201d I mean, it was just to the point, that my mom started laughing at how often Tom said, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d\n\nIt kind of became a family joke. After vacation was over, we were: \u201cThank you very much,\u201d \u201cNo; thank you very much.\u201d We were going back and forth with that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is a good kid to take on vacation.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He is good; but I  to tell you, Bob: you sound like Elvis when you say, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thank you very much; yes. [Laughter]\n\nWe\u2019re talking about how important practicing gratitude is this week, and we\u2019ve got Sam Crabtree joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Sam,  back.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Thanks. It\u2019s nice to know Bob Lepine \u201cain\u2019t nothing but a hound dog\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ccrying all the time!\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, every mother is hearing this, thinking, \u201cHow do I get my child to be grateful?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that\u2019s part of what we want to talk about today. Sam has written a book called <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>, which, as the title implies\u2014and we\u2019ve already talked about\u2014this may be an innate personality type for some people; but this is something that takes practice\/that takes work. You don\u2019t get better at it\u2014just like football or any other sport\u2014you don\u2019t get better unless you are practicing this.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Especially when our  aren\u2019t great.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; let\u2019s start where Ann was taking us here. How can we, as parents, cultivate, and train, and instruct our kids? Is it just teaching them to be polite, or does it go beyond that?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; one of the observations I would want to make from the get-go is that I don\u2019t think the practice of thankfulness is mainly just good manners; you know? You teach your children to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d as the obligatory social sign-off of a transaction of some kind. I mean, that\u2019s not bad to teach your children good manners, including to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s good\u2014but what we want to grow is the earnestness from the child\u2019s heart so that they have lips that say, \u201cThank you\u201d; but the hearts are not far from the \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> There is an actual <em>valuing<\/em> that grows in the heart of the child.\n\n\u201cHow do you get children to do it?\u201d is Ann\u2019s very good and practical question. We\u2019re all somebody\u2019s children. The first answer to it is: \u201cModel it.\u201d If you want your children to be grateful, do they see mom and dad grousing about this and that?\u2014complaining and whining?\u2014and bah-bah this?\u2014and wah-wah that?\u2014and \u201cI hate this\u201d? There\u2019s really a plague of outrage in Western culture these days, where we so quickly get uppity about this, that, or the other thing. That\u2019s one: \u201cModel it.\u201d\n\nNumber two: \u201cSeek, in order to model it, a heart of humility that recognizes, \u2018We don\u2019t get to have everything the way we want it. There is an infinitely wise God, who has orchestrated a lot of things to go the way I wouldn\u2019t do it if I were God.\u2019\u201d It\u2019s a good thing for the universe I\u2019m not God, because I would have blown it all by now; but to seek the right kind of heart that really is a grateful heart. This is a heart thing, not just a social practice thing\u2014like, \u201cWhere do you set the spoons, and where do you set the forks?\u201d\u2014this is: \u201cHow do you tune your <em>heart<\/em>?\u201d\n\n\u201cThe eyes of faith that see what God is doing have to be awakened in the individual.\u201d You can teach an unbelieving child, who grows up to be an unbeliever, to do the polite thing\u2014and send thank-you notes after they get wedding gifts and all of that sort of thing\u2014but the heart transformation that is required is a divine work; it is a God work. To get your children to be thankful, we have to pray that God will do that. Romans 10\u2014Paul said it was his earnest desire that his brothers would be saved\/that his people would be saved\u2014so we want to pray for our children that they would become grateful.\n\nFourth, \u201cReminders  hurt: \u2018Are you glad you got that thing from Grandma and Grandpa? Well, what would you like to say to Grandma and Grandpa?\u2019\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhat kind of note would you like to write to them?\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cA thank-you note; yes.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; so there are steps that can be taken. I\/in the book, I included a list of 100\u2014is that what it is?\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014a list of 100 practical things that a person can do. Not all of them would apply to children; but a person could look through that list, and do a little shopping for: \u201cWhich things we\u2019d like to try in our home.\u201d There are some suggestions on how to get children moved farther down the path towards living a <em>pattern<\/em> of gratefulness.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I think you are right; that modeling piece is really important. I know that Dave and I made a mistake as\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Our only mistake, maybe?\u2014that was the one\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Maybe\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that day. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014some of you have done this, where we would go to church\u2014and mind you, we helped start the church\u2014so we found ourselves\/we would sit at the table after church, and we would critique the service.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; they would critique the pastor\u2014that\u2019s what they would do\u2014I was not part of this! I was the one being critiqued.\n\nNo; Ann is right. We would critique the music\/critique every part\u2014because we had a lot of designing\u2014everything that was going to happen that day\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014we had a say in it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think we modeled for our kids: \u201cThat\u2019s what you do at church. You go, and you rate it: \u2018Hey, on a scale of 1 to 10, how did it go today?\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cHow did you like the movie?\u201d \u201cHow did you like the church?\u201d\u2014I mean, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s almost producing consumer\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014believers.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sure.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t model being thankful for even an average service.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWasn\u2019t it <em>great<\/em> to be together?\u201d \u201cWasn\u2019t it good just to <em>worship<\/em> together?\u201d Then, to even ask the question, \u201cHow did God speak to you today?\u201d\n\nI feel bad\u2014because what we found is\u2014then teenagers\/our teenagers would come home, and what were they doing? Modeling exactly what we had done for years.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Lord, have mercy on us. [Laughter] Well, I think it\u2019s even broader than that\u2014that creative people\u2014you\u2019re all creative people here.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> You\u2019re creating a ministry, and programs, church. Creative people see how something could be better, and then they have a tendency then to focus on what\u2019s lacking that could be better. They start to concentrate on that flaw\u2014that weakness\/that shortcoming\u2014in whatever it is: the football team, or the church, or the radio program, or the guest speaker\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014spouse.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014or whatever. If the focus  there on what\u2019s missing\u2014what\u2019s absent\/what are the shortcomings and the failures\u2014then we become critical; we become complainers. It\u2019s a pitfall that goes with being creative.\n\nTo counterbalance that, we need to consciously <em>practice<\/em> thankfulness; make it a practice. You can get up in the morning and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this.\u201d We had, here in Minneapolis a few years ago, the captain of the University of Minnesota women\u2019s basketball team, Brittany McCoy went to our church. She made a practice of, everyday with her cell phone, taking a picture of something for which she was thankful that she\u2019d never taken a picture of before.\n\nShe was practicing; she was practicing. Putting that habit and that pattern into one\u2019s life helps counterbalance. I mean, it was a very creative thing for her to do\u2014to see: \u201cWhat pictures are missing in my collection?\u201d\u2014you could take a negative approach to it\u2014but she was adding\/piling up things for which she was grateful. I just think, \u201cWhat a great, creative idea\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto counterbalance taking things for granted.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong>  and you say in your book\u2014and you\u2019ve said it already today\u2014it\u2019s seeing it, because we can be blind to it. There are all of these things around us. The very breath we are breathing right now we could be thankful for if we just thought for a second\/used our brain and go, \u201cWow!\u201d\n\nI remember one year, years ago, we were\u2014the Detroit Lions were playing the Packers at Lambeau [Field]\u2014away game\/end of the season. In fact, every year, as soon as the season came out, that was the first thing we did: \u201cAre we going to play in Green Bay in December?\u201d [Laughter] You know, it\u2019s going to be cold, and it was; it was like December 23<sup>rd<\/sup>. We\u2019re out of the playoffs; it\u2019s a meaningless game, and we have to go there.\n\nThe whole time, I\u2019m mad\/grumbling\u2014getting on the plane\/going there\u2014leaving my family right around Christmas. I just had a bad attitude, like, \u201cI just don\u2019t want to be on this trip. I don\u2019t think <em>anybody<\/em> does. It doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget the first half of that game; we\u2019re getting beat, and I\u2019m standing there. The whole time, I\u2019m like, \u201cI could be home. I could be\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwarm.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014\u201cby the fireplace,\u201d\u2014all of the things I could be doing.\n\nI had that bad attitude going at halftime. I had a shift\u2014I\u2019m looking at the locker room at halftime\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m at Lambeau in December with an NFL team on the sideline! How many people would <em>pay<\/em> to do this?\u201d I\u2019ll never forget\u2014I walked down the tunnel; I\u2019m standing just by the doors. Players are running on. One of the guys comes out that I know really well; he complains, \u201cLook at this; we are going to get beat again at Lambeau.\u201d As I jog with him to our sideline, I go, \u201cDude! Look at where we are! We are in Lambeau playing <em>football<\/em> on Sunday night.  it get any better than this?! Let\u2019s have a blast!\u201d He looks at me like, \u201cAre you crazy?!\u201d It changed his attitude.\n\nIt was just like you said: \u201cIt was seeing, practicing.\u201d Now, we still got beat; there was a long flight home, but it was one of those moments, where, again, it\u2019s like: \u201cYou can choose to practice this; you can choose to miss it.\u201d But if you don\u2019t stop, every once and a while and see it, you\u2019ll miss it; right?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, even getting beat, I mean, it\u2019s good for our humility.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Do you  to be cocky, or do you want to be a humble person? You take a few defeats along the line because God has ordained that that is the way we get off of our high horse, as it were. You were <em>awake<\/em> to  details around you.\n\nI\u2019ve tried to make a practice, in the strength that God supplies, to thank Him for something I\u2019ve never thanked Him before\/thanked Him for before, regularly. The other day, I remember one that was like, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve thanked God for clouds before; but I\u2019ve never thanked God for <em>that<\/em> particular cloud before. That particular cloud was never here before for me\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cto give thanks for.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> But in a table grace, for example\u2014instead of: \u201cThank You for these blessings,\u201d \u201c\u2026for all this food. Amen\u201d; but to think: \u201cThank You for these potatoes\u2014<em>these<\/em> potatoes and the soil within which they grew, and the sunlight that came from 93 million miles away to make them grow, and absorb nutrients and water from the soil, and the leaves did their photosynthesis miracle,\u201d \u201cThank You for butter. Butter\u2014what an amazing thing!\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Amen.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbutter\u2014that the sun comes 93 million miles; it makes some grass; the cow eats that grass; it goes through four stomachs; finally gets to that udder. It\u2019s taken to the creamery, and they make butter.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Your kids are like, \u201cDad, can we eat now?\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sometimes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s beautiful, though\/really, to stop, and look, and appreciate. Let me ask you this: \u201cDo you think God is pleased when His children thank Him?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh my! Yes; we exalt His name when we notice the details of what He has done. I mean, I held an apple the other day. I thought\/I mean, we think apples are red; but you look carefully, there are these little stripes, and little dots, and subtle colorations in it. That whole apple\u2014that whole thing there\/that tennis ball- or grapefruit-sized thing\u2014all of that material got there through that little, skinny stem. That\u2019s just <em>amazing<\/em>; \u201cHave I stopped to be  and to thank God that He designed that to work that way?\u201d\n\nEven the cold\u2014when you were cold at Lambeau Field\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> I bet the mosquitoes weren\u2019t bad. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re right. There were no mosquitos.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I have a best friend; when their kids were younger, they were really struggling. She was struggling, because her husband was travelling all the time. She had three young daughters. She was noticing that they were saying sarcastic things about their dad being gone a lot, which she realized was actually coming from her. They were picking up her attitude\/her disappointment. She said, \u201cMy home was\/I was creating an environment in my home that was almost toxic.\u201d\n\nShe said\/so she had been praying: \u201cWe had been talking and praying about this whole situation of trying to see the good.\u201d She started a journal; it was a grateful journal. Whereas before\u2014her husband would be rushing from a meeting to try to get to the soccer game\u2014instead of saying\/before, \u201cWhy are you always late to these games?\u201d she would get out her journal. She would write in it, and she would date it. She said to her husband, \u201cThank you for making it to our daughter\u2019s soccer game. It must have been hard getting through traffic, leaving work early; but you still made the effort.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> What a different mindset.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\nAnother one would be: \u201cThank you for going out in the cold and putting up the Christmas lights on the trees.\u201d She said, \u201cBefore, I would have said, \u2018Why are you doing it this way? You should do it on this tree.\u2019\u201d But she started <em>seeing<\/em> the greatness and the thankfulness that she had for what he was doing; so then, every year on his birthday, she gives him this journal. It\u2019s\u2014every time it is dated\u2014she tries to do it, maybe, two or three times a month, where she would just log in a little gratefulness passage of what he had done. He sits down on his birthday, and he <em>cries<\/em> the entire way through this journal. It has changed him; hasn\u2019t it, Dave?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; every husband\u2019s saying, \u201cI wish my wife would write a journal\u201d; but it really is a beautiful thing.\n\n about the heart of God, I remember one time, years ago, we took our kids to an amusement park in Ohio; it\u2019s Cedar Point.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You guys have heard of Cedar Point?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s one of the top five in the  We would do it every year, and we took them out of school. By the way, I\u2019m not saying you should do this, parents; but Ohio is still in school\u2014we took them out\u2014because we\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lines are shorter.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong>  would be no lines.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember\u2014you know, as a dad with young kids\u2014it\u2019s chaos. You\u2019re spending way more money than you want to; you\u2019re exhausted; you\u2019ve done the whole thing. We get home; and I\u2019m complaining, all the way home, like, \u201cThey don\u2019t even appreciate this. We did all this stuff.\u201d I mean, they are\u2014what?\u2014eight, nine, ten. Maybe, our oldest was 11 years old. They are asleep by the time we get them home, because they fell asleep on the drive home; it\u2019s three hours from where we are.\n\nI put them to bed. I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. My oldest, CJ, comes in the bathroom, and just opens the door, and goes, \u201cHey, Dad, thanks!\u201d He walks out. It was like, \u201cNo problem! That was awesome. Greatest day ever!\u201d I mean, that one word from an 11-year-old kid\u2014that he actually stopped for a second and said, \u201cHey, thanks. It was really a great day,\u201d\/all he said was \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014it was like my heart just jumped. I thought, \u201cIf that\u2019s how God feels when his son or his daughter says, \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014man oh man!\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is a moment to say, \u201cI\u2019m grateful; thank You.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, the  of the thanks\u2014in this case, mainly God; but also, horizontally other people\u2014it\u2019s energizing for <em>them<\/em>. I also argue that it enlarges the heart of the person, who is expressing the thankfulness; <em>and<\/em> it ramps up or completes, if I could use that word, the pleasure in the thing for which you are giving thanks. You enjoy it more when you express that you are enjoying it\u2014that you are grateful for it\/that you didn\u2019t deserve it, and here it came.\n\nThat makes\/you have an expanded capability of being, as Ann has talked about\u2014you can look on the positive side of things; you can look on the negative side of things\u2014[with gratitude] you just become more of a delight to live with yourself\/to live with yourself, much less for other people to live around you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, have you had an experience or more in your life, where you are going through something hard\/a real trial, and you\u2019re still able to be thankful?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes; but not always in the moment. Yes; I\u2019m a sinner, and I have sinful inertia in my life. I\u2019m not going to claim to have mastered this. It\u2019s an interesting phenomenon. Many people who write books or preach sermons preach to themselves, like, \u201cI need to hear this; this is why I need to drill into this particular topic.\u201d\n\nBut in the long  and I\u2019ve tested this with <em>many<\/em> people, who would say that, if they look back over their life, and they identify <em>the<\/em>  experiences they ever went through\u2014stuff they don\u2019t ever want to have happen again\/stuff that they pray will never happen to the people that they love\u2014nevertheless, it\u2019s true in my life and in theirs\u2014God was up to such <em>profound<\/em> good that, now, they are thankful; and they wouldn\u2019t have God remove that from their life.\n\nHave I ever had hard experiences?\u2014yes\u2014so hard I don\u2019t talk about them much?\u2014but they were <em>so good<\/em> for me. God was <em>so refining<\/em> in that chapter\/in those experiences to this day. If that\u2019s the way He\u2019s going to go about refining me, He is infinitely wise; I just trust Him with that. That was the way He needed to awaken me and develop in me aspects of Christlikeness that I don\u2019t think I would have developed any other way.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I remember talking to my sister; we had both gone through abuse. Years later, we sat and talked about the multitude of women that we had a chance to care for their souls, and lead them to Christ, and encourage them in that Jesus could heal that pain that they had gone through because we had experienced the freedom that God brings through our surrendering of our lives through our pain\/through our wounds that we had. I remember both of us saying, \u201cI would go through it again\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cin order to save those people from what they feel right now.\u201d Now, in the moment, I couldn\u2019t have said that; but years later, I know that some people think that\u2019s unbelievable; but yes, God <em>refines<\/em> us in it.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Pretty  as well, that there are some wives and husbands who need to start practicing thankfulness. They need to start intentionally\/purposefully saying\u2014\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> \u201cThank You.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and looking for the things to be grateful for\u2014writing the journals like you talked about, Ann\u2014and begin the day by saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to <em>look<\/em> for the things to be grateful for today,\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cOpen my eyes, Jesus.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand I\u2019m going to rejoice in those things,\u201d\u2014not just like\u2014\u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got my three; now, I can be <em>done<\/em> with this. [Laughter] Now, I can go back to grousing.\u201d\n\nI remember a conversation, years ago, with Elisabeth Elliot. She used this illustration; I\u2019ve never forgotten it. She said, \u201cYou know how sometimes somebody will put an ink pen in their shirt pocket, and it\u2014you get a little spot\u201d; right?\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The ink leaks, and all of a sudden, at the  of the pocket, there is a little purple spot. She said, \u201cThe shirt is 99.76 percent white, but where are your eyes drawn?\u2014to that little purple spot. What do you focus on and obsess on?\u2014you go, \u2018This ruins <em>everything<\/em>.\u2019\u201d Now, nobody likes to have an ink spot on their shirt, and it is awkward; but she said, \u201cHow many of us are so hyper-focused on the one little thing that we\u2019re missing the beauty around us and being grateful for the beauty around us?\u201d\n\nBefore I say your book reminds us of this, your <em>life<\/em> reminds us of this; because this is true of you. We\u2019re grateful that you\u2019ve let a little of you rub off on us.\n\n<strong>Sam:<\/strong> May God be pleased.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thanks for being here. We do have copies of Sam\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The book is called <em> Thankfulness: Cultivating a Grateful Heart in All Circumstances <\/em>. You can  your copy of the book when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy. Again, the title of the book is <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. Order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy; that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nNow, we want to say a  word of thanks to those of you who have made today\u2019s program possible. You make the ministry of FamilyLife <sup>\u00ae<\/sup> possible anytime you  a donation. We are dependent, as a ministry, on your financial support for everything we do. In fact, in this season, we are more dependent on your donations than we have ever been before. So we are grateful when we hear from listeners, who say, \u201cWe want to see the ministry of FamilyLife, not just sustain; we want to see it expand. We want to see it advanced.\u201d Thank you for your donations. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, thank you for being the financial backbone of this ministry. We are so grateful for you.\n\nIf  able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book. We talked with Gary earlier this week about his book, <em>When to Walk Away: How to Deal with<\/em>\u2014what he refers to as\u2014<em>Toxic Relationships<\/em>. Some of us know about those. The book is our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you when you are able to help with a gift today. Go online and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; and be sure to ask about your copy of the book, <em>When to Walk Away<\/em>, by  Thomas when you get in touch with us. We\u2019re happy to send it to you. Thanks, again, for your support of this ministry. We are\u2014as we talked about today\u2014we are <em>grateful<\/em> for that support.\n\nWe hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about being single, about dating, about getting engaged, about how to know when to ask the question or when to say, \u201cYes.\u201d What\u2019s the right time? How do you deal with the single years? Marshall Segal is going to be here to walk us through that. I hope you can be with us as well.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. We got some help this week from Bruce Goff and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a  of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru <sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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