{"id":306735,"date":"2021-02-18T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-02-18T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls\/"},"modified":"2021-02-18T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-02-18T12:00:05","slug":"how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls\/","title":{"rendered":"How Thankfulness Pivots Our Souls"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How can we give thanks in the midst of hard things? On FamilyLife Today, hosts Dave and Ann Wilson talk with pastor and author Sam Crabtree about how practicing thankfulness helps us see with fresh eyes.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can we give thanks in the midst of hard things? Pastor and author Sam Crabtree talks about how practicing thankfulness helps us see with fresh eyes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:55","filesize":"23.73M","filesize_raw":"24882947","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4976],"podcast_series":[8429],"cwp_profile":[3358],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306735","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-thankfulness","podcast_series-practicing-thankfulness","cwp_profile-sam-crabtree","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306735\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306735\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FRjvDOtPiA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls\/\">How Thankfulness Pivots Our Souls<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-thankfulness-pivots-our-souls\/embed\/#?secret=FRjvDOtPiA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How Thankfulness Pivots Our Souls&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FRjvDOtPiA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":[""],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What\u2019s your mood today?\u2014are you encouraged?\u2014are you discouraged?\u2014depressed?\u2014anxious? Sam Crabtree says there\u2019s a link between your mood and what I\u2019ll call your GQ\/your Gratitude Quotient.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>You can\u2019t just tell yourself, \u201cWell, don\u2019t be depressed today.\u201d That\u2019ll get a person nowhere. But you can decide, \u201cI\u2019m going to find something for which I can give thanks today.\u201d It\u2019s hard to be envious and thankful, depressed and thankful, outraged and thankful; it\u2019s nearly impossible.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Gratitude, as it turns out, is a pretty big deal for you and for your children as you raise them. We\u2019re going to talk about that today with Sam Crabtree. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I don\u2019t know that I ever stopped to think about this until I was getting ready for the conversation we\u2019re going to have today. I have always thought of gratitude\/thankfulness as a good character quality. It\u2019s something you want to teach your kids\u2014to be grateful\u2014right?\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s something\u2014that people who lack gratitude\u2014you don\u2019t like hanging around them.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong> I\u2019m trying to figure out where you\u2019re going to go with that, because that\u2019s true!\u2014no question. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have come to realize, in getting ready and reading the book we\u2019re going to talk about today, that gratitude is not just a nice add-on, like hot fudge you put on top of the ice cream; it\u2019s more critical\/more essential to who we are and how we live before God than that.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would agree. I think you\u2019re going to say, and we\u2019re going to find out today, it\u2019s at the <em>root<\/em> of happiness.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I do. Everybody wants to be happy.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, and I think it\u2019s easy to be happy and grateful when things are going well\/are easy; but it\u2019s not quite as easy when things aren\u2019t.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, Sam Crabtree is joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We are always glad when we can spend time with Sam. Sam, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>It\u2019s such a pleasure to hobnob with you guys. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yay, Sam!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sam is an author; he\u2019s a speaker; he is a pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis; has just written a book called <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. I\u2019m if you had a sense of how significant gratitude is before you really got into praying through, and studying, and researching for this book.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes, I did have a sense; but that sense gets enlarged as you write about something, as you dig into it, and you peel back some layers. You find out, \u201cWow, this goes deeper; it goes farther; this is more significant than I thought, even though I started out thinking it was <em>quite<\/em> significant.\u201d So yes, there\u2019s more to this than I first thought.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Sam, why this topic?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong> there was a guy named Peter Olney, who was in our small group that meets in our home. He said, \u201cSam, I have the next book you should write: <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>.\u201d You know, \u201cHahahaha; thanks for the idea.\u201d\n\nBut as I thought about it: \u201cYes, he saw something in the way I tried to interact with people in our congregation that he thought was a pattern that came out of something that I was seeing in the way God has designed the universe and who God is.\u201d The more I thought about it, the more I thought, \u201cPeter, I think you\u2019re right. I think that\u2019s a book-length project that would be worthwhile for people\u2019s edification; and to increase their delight in God; and for God to get more honor from these people, who are increasingly grateful to Him for all that He\u2019s doing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So he <em>saw<\/em> this in you.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Apparently.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, a person that practices thankfulness.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong> is why we <em>all<\/em> want to hang out with Sam. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Thank you! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, some would say, \u201cWell, it\u2019s just the demeanor. That\u2019s just the way a person\u2019s wired.\u201d Is it, or is it bigger than that?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Well, I think there is something to that. There is an array of personalities that God has given in the world, so that it\u2019s easier for some people to be certain ways than for others to be those same certain ways. Nevertheless, the ability to <em>see<\/em> what God is doing is a divine gift. You have to be alive, spiritually, to be thankful to God for what God is doing.\n\nThis is how explained the problem with the prodigal son. I\u2019ve asked over a thousand people: \u201cWhat do you think is the problem with the prodigal son? Is he just narcissistic, or is he selfish, or is he materialistic, or is he just lustful, or what\u2019s the problem with this kid?\u2014because his brother doesn\u2019t run off.\u201d\n\nJesus tells us <em>twice<\/em> in that what the problem with the prodigal son is: \u201cThis, my son, was dead, and now is alive.\u201d Until that son turned <em>toward<\/em> the father, instead of away from the father, he was dead toward the father. He was not appreciative toward the father. He didn\u2019t think that going home was a good place to be: \u201cLet me out of here!\u201d The father says it twice; he says it when his son returns, and he says it when he\u2019s explaining to the older son what\u2019s going on here.\n\nEven if a person is more wired to be thankful, pleasant, sociable; nevertheless, to earnestly thank God from the overflow of the heart\u2014that I\u2019m really trusting God that He\u2019s working this together for my good\u2014that\u2019s a faith thing, and faith is a gift. It\u2019s not a personality thing. The ten lepers\u2014nine of them didn\u2019t come back and say, \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014one of them did. Of course, he enlarged his own joy, and satisfaction, and delight in meeting the Savior by his being different from the other nine.\n\nI don\u2019t know if I\u2019m answering your question well or not; but yes, some will find it easier; but to do it thoroughly, in a God-centered way, requires God to do a work in the heart of the individual.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Is thankfulness\/gratitude a <em>choice<\/em>? Is it something we <em>choose<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>It is a choice; it\u2019s also a feeling. It\u2019s also a way of seeing; and fundamentally, it\u2019s a way of valuing, which is why it\u2019s so dependent upon God\u2014that He realign the compass of our hearts\u2014so that we value what should be valued. But the choice part is so hope-giving, I think, because thankfulness is antithetical to so many other emotions and behavior patterns.\n\nIt\u2019s hard to be envious and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. It\u2019s hard to be depressed and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. It\u2019s hard to be suicidal and thankful\u2014it\u2019s nearly impossible; outraged and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. What is so hopeful about that is you can\u2019t just tell yourself, \u201cWell, don\u2019t be depressed today.\u201d That will crash; that will burn; that will get a person nowhere. But you can decide, \u201cI\u2019m going to find something for which I can give thanks today.\u201d You can just decide that; it\u2019s a choice in that sense\u2014you can go on the lookout for stuff to be thankful for\u2014so there is a choice involved.\n\nThat\u2019s why it\u2019s helpful to read a book about it, or listen to a radio program about it, or something like that; because you can reorient yourself and decide: \u201cI am going to give focus to this,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to work on this; I\u2019m going to work <em>toward<\/em> this.\u201d\n\nThere\u2019s a choice, but I wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s just a <em>mere<\/em> choice. It\u2019s a choice that is aimed at, and motivated by\/incited by the prospect of delight. You look back, with thankfulness, for what God has done; that fuels future-oriented hope for what He\u2019s going to yet do that He hasn\u2019t done yet.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I know I was reading\u2014I don\u2019t know, years ago\u2014an author who was saying it was about perspective. He says, you know, a practice you should put into your daily routine, when you\u2019re not thankful or not seeing the good in your life, is just this phrase, \u201cIt could be worse.\u201d\n\nI\u2019ll never forget reading this; he\u2019s like: \u201cYou know, if you\u2019re in your car, and it\u2019s a ten-year-old clunker, and you drive by a really nice sports car, and you look over there and you feel like, \u201cI wish I had that,\u201d just say, \u201cIt could be worse!\u201d It is a perspective; right? I mean, it is a choice to say\u2014you said it earlier\u2014<em>seeing<\/em> something that a lot of people don\u2019t see.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I think I could say that that approach\u2014\u201cIt could be worse,\u201d\u2014is a\n\n1 Thessalonians 5:18 approach: \u201cIn everything give thanks.\u201d You\u2019re skiing down a hill; you break a leg\u2014well, give thanks you didn\u2019t break both legs and you didn\u2019t break your neck. [Laughter] You have a certain illness, but you don\u2019t have another illness\u2014you know, I think that\u2019s legitimate.\n\nBut I think the Bible wants <em>more<\/em> for us than just to think, \u201cWell, it could be worse,\u201d\u2014which is true; it could <em>always<\/em> be worse\u2014and for those that are not in Christ, it\u2019s going to be worse. But Ephesians 5 says, \u201cFor everything\u201d\u2014not just in everything\u2014\u201cFor everything give thanks always,\u201d\u2014everything\/always; two universals there\u2014because\u2014and this is a test of our faith, partly\u2014\u201cDo we really believe that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him? Do we think He\u2019s sovereign in everything?\u2014wasting nothing that He\u2019s [ever] done?\u201d\n\nThis is the lesson I think that Joseph had in the Old Testament when his brothers took him hostage; they threw him in a pit; they sold him into slavery. Joseph said, \u201cYou all meant this for my harm; but God <em>meant<\/em> this for my good\/our good that many would be saved.\u201d It\u2019s not just: \u201cIn it, be grateful\u201d; \u201c<em>For<\/em> it, be grateful.\u201d It was that famine that brought his brothers to him.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking about people, who are in very difficult marriages or very difficult family situations. They think, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to\u2014for this difficulty\/for this spouse, who is not responding to things in a godly way\u2014I\u2019m supposed to be <em>thankful<\/em> for this?\u201d There\u2019s almost a feeling like, \u201cIf I\u2019m thankful for this\u2014\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cit will enable them to stay the same.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes! \u201cI want things to change. How should I be grateful and still want things to change and get better?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes, it sounds like crazy talk: \u201cI don\u2019t want a God who\u2019s like this.\u201d\n\nLet me at it a couple different ways. First, is just the clear biblical teaching that God is behind <em>everything<\/em>:\n\nHe in Isaiah 45: \u201cI form light and create darkness, I make wellbeing and create calamity; I am the Lord who does all these things.\u201d\n\nOr Lamentations 3: \u201cWho can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?\u201d\n\nJust to get the doctrine that God is sovereign\u2014universally, in everything, all the time, without exception\u2014He\u2019s there behind it, holding all things together. It\u2019s from Him, through Him, and to Him. He gives to all\u2014life, and breath, and everything else\u2014the Bible says. So to get that clear.\n\nThen to acknowledge, and learn, and build on the fact\/the observation that He\u2019s never done, ever. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in the pit. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in Potiphar\u2019s house. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in prison. He wasn\u2019t done when there was this seven-year famine. God is not done.\n\nYou know, we prayed for my mother, who was on a five-year downward slide with dementia until she died. We prayed that she would be healed and so forth. We prayed that God would take her; if He was waiting for our permission, He had our permission. But when she died, there could be some, who would say: \u201cWell, God didn\u2019t answer your prayers,\u201d and \u201cHe failed.\u201d \u201cWhat do you think?\u2014God\u2019s done with her?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not the end of her life; that\u2019s not the end of her story. She just entered into the greatest chapter of her existence ever.\n\nGod is not wasting the affliction that He brings into our life, even if it\u2019s a difficult spouse, or it could be a difficult illness, or a difficult financial pressure, or something like that. It\u2019s good to look at texts that help us with that. Psalm 90, Moses says: \u201cMake us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us.\u201d James said: \u201cCount it all joy, brothers, when you encounter these many trials.\u201d\n\nWho likes trials? Who wants to get in the trial line and sign up?\u2014\u201cCan I have some extra trials, please?\u201d \u201cCount it all joy when you encounter these trials, knowing that the trying of your faith produces\u201d\u2014what a key word, <em>produces<\/em>!\u2014these trials are <em>productive<\/em>; they\u2019re not wasteful. God is <em>producing<\/em> something; specifically, the character of Christ in me. These trials are producing for you \u201can eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.\u201d How big?\u2014beyond all comparison.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>That\u2019s how good it is.\n\nAnd these momentary light afflictions that Paul\u2019s talking about\u2014I mean, he\u2019s been beaten, and left for dead, and all kinds of stuff that\u2019s happened to him\u2014when you\u2019re in these afflictions, they don\u2019t seem light; and they don\u2019t seem momentary, and we cry out for relief. That\u2019s a legitimate cry\u2014to cry out for relief\u2014we\u2019re not masochists; we\u2019re not sadists. We want to fix all the problems we can fix: we want to fix famines; we want to fix drought; we want to fix diseases; we want to fix broken marriages; we want to fix domestic problems. We want to fix them.\n\nBut when done our best, and we have the problem still unfixed, then God\u2019s not wasting it; He\u2019s doing a thousand\/ten thousand things.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So we can pray, and ought to pray, \u201cDeliver us from evil,\u201d or \u201cFix this broken situation\u201d; and at the same time, be thankful for what we\u2019re in the midst of?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>\u2014because God is not wasting what we were not able to fix, and He is producing. It\u2019s <em>productive<\/em>; Romans 5 says the same thing: that \u201cThese afflictions produce hope.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>We want the hope; we want the patience, but the only way to develop patience\u2014there\u2019s no Plan B\u2014the only way to develop patience is to have something to be impatient about; there\u2019s not an option there.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>There is Sam\u2014I think you\u2019re right that thankfulness <em>changes<\/em> us; gratitude <em>changes<\/em> us. I know that in our marriage, I was in a <em>bad<\/em> pattern and habit of looking at our marriage, and looking at Dave, and seeing the negative\u2014not being thankful for him, not seeing the greatness, not seeing the good\u2014it took me down this path of pity and anger. Yet, I remember the day that I went before God and I said, \u201cGod, show me. Show me the greatness of Dave, and help me to be <em>thankful<\/em> for what I do have.\u201d\n\nI started praying that, thanking God for all these great things that God had put into Dave. My eyes started to change as I was thankful\/as I was grateful for Dave, for who he was. Then I started to verbalize that to him. My heart started to change! I <em>became<\/em> more grateful, and I started <em>seeing<\/em> him in a totally different light.\n\nI really do think that that can <em>change<\/em> our marriage when we start being grateful and, then, even verbalizing that to our spouse.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>I argue in the book that I believe gratitude is soul pivoting. If you\u2019re grateful, you pivot towards God; and there\u2019s a growth trajectory there. If you decide, \u201cInstead of being grateful, I\u2019m going to complain, whine, fuss,\u201d the soul pivots\/swings like a hinge.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You\u2019re right; you have <em>both<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>They\u2019re antithetical to each other. As Jesus said, you know: \u201cYou\u2019re for Me or you\u2019re against Me.\u201d That pivot\u2014if you want to be a complainer, then there\u2019s a downward spiral that\u2019s <em>hardening<\/em> to the soul and <em>blinding<\/em> to the soul, where you stop <em>seeing<\/em> the good things that God is doing.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think the amazing thing is\u2014it\u2019s contagious in some ways. When Ann complained and grumbled, I sort of became what she saw, maybe even worse. When she started to speak\u2014and I know you\u2019ve written about this as well\u2014when she was affirming and thankful, it made me want to be better; and it made me rise up. Thankfulness\/gratitude is contagious; is that true?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Oh, true; yes. People love to be around a grateful person, and they pick up on it. It is infectious; there\u2019s a contagion. Take your gratefulness mask off and splatter gratefulness all over people. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s a magnet. I mean, people run\/think about if your home was known by your kids\/by your spouse as a place of thankfulness. They would run home. They\u2019re going to run somewhere; right? Why not run home?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If I\u2019m not feeling grateful for something, should I pretend like I really am grateful for awhile?\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good question.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or do I wait until I\u2019m feeling it to try to act it?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I think we should give thanks before we feel like it, for several reasons. One, we\u2019re commanded to give thanks: \u201cGive thanks.\u201d You\u2019re not seeing anything for which you should be thankful\u2014well, wake up; look around; there is some stuff there. Get on with the command\u2014fulfill it; obey the command\u2014that\u2019s one thing.\n\nSecond\u2014on the way to, hopefully, growing in <em>feeling<\/em> thankful\u2014looking for things for which I ought to be thankful opens the door, at least a crack, to let in some light that: \u201cYou know, I really am grateful for \u2018x\u2019 or \u2018y\u2019 or \u2018z<em>.\u2019\u201d<\/em>\n\nThird, you can pray, \u201cLord, awaken in me a more grateful attitude\u2014a more humble, alert, alive, attentive attitude\u2014that sees the showers of blessing that are all around me all the time, every day, everywhere.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember I was in a fitness class with a bunch of women. I got there early; and these women were all sitting around, talking about how horrible their husbands were. They were going into specifics: \u201cMy husband comes home, and all he does is sit down and watch TV,\u201d and \u201cHe never helps with the kids.\u201d They\u2019re going on and on. I was thinking, \u201cOh, this is so sad! They could have it so much better if they would trust Jesus!\u201d\n\nI get home that night; and Dave came in the door, and he had had a <em>bad<\/em> I don\u2019t remember a time that he came in the door and sat down and watched TV; but on this day, he came in the door; he turned on the TV, started watching ESPN. I\u2019m getting dinner\u2014the kids were younger\u2014and I\u2019m looking at him, like, \u201cLook at him! He\u2019s just like all those other husbands! Look at him!\u201d I looked down this negative road. He very seldom does that; but it\u2019s interesting\u2014sometimes, when you\u2019re around the negative\u2014that <em>also feeds<\/em> your soul.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; if contagious, so is negativity.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So is negativity; so do we need to be careful? I\u2019m thinking, when we\u2019re in the Word, it <em>breeds<\/em> thankfulness.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I\u2019ve tried to address the question with teenagers, who have asked: \u201cIs it okay to go into such and such an environment?\u201d \u201cIs it okay to go into a tavern?\u201d \u201cIs it okay to go to such and such an event?\u201d\n\nOne way to answer that question is: \u201cIf a person goes there, who\u2019s influencing whom?\u201d Jesus could have lunch with prostitutes, because He wasn\u2019t becoming one. They were being redeemed; He wasn\u2019t falling. I think it\u2019s important to ask: \u201cDo I think I can make a difference?\u201d\u2014if I don\u2019t think I can, beware. \u201cGo into a dark, dark world and shine your light; the darker the world, the more one light will matter,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s true\u2014but a little self-awareness that: \u201cI might not be able to withstand the culture in my workplace,\u201d or \u201c\u2026my school,\u201d or something. Don\u2019t be na\u00efve that I will turn the tide, necessarily.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the importance of being in God\u2019s Word\u2014of always being grounded\/of being in prayer continuously\u2014because I think you\u2019re right. I can make an impact wherever I go with my thankfulness\/with the light of Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019ll you\u2014I have a friend who quit her job; because she was daily with three other women, who were routinely negative about their husband. \u201cAfter awhile,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cThis conversation is so toxic for me that\u2014even if I am prayed up, and missionally minded, and all of that\u2014I just come home drained and not in the right state of mind.\u201d This was a significant economic choice for her to quit her job; and yet, she was saying, \u201cMy heart is more important\/my marriage is more important than how much money we have here.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Wow!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>To quit the job and come home\u2014she told her husband that\u2019s why she was quitting the job\u2014and they talked about it, and they agreed that was what she needed to do and ought to do. They had to tighten their belt for a little while; but they\u2019re so glad, looking back on that, that their marriage is not a casualty, as it might have slowly become over time.\n\nThis is why I think thankfulness\u2014learning to be grateful in the midst of all things\u2014why this is so important. Sam, it\u2019s why we\u2019re so glad to have copies of your book available for our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Sam Crabtree\u2019s book is called <em>Practicing Thankfulness: Cultivating a Grateful Heart in All Circumstances.<\/em> It\u2019s a book we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy of Sam Crabtree\u2019s book, <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; you can order the book from us online; or call to order at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nWe have from a lot of you this week, who got in touch with us, asking for a copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book, <em>When to Away <\/em>. Gary was on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> earlier this week, and we\u2019re making his book available to those of you who can make a donation to help support the ongoing ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Gary\u2019s book gives us a biblical perspective on how to appropriately deal with people who can be toxic in our lives. The subtitle is <em>Finding Freedom from Toxic People<\/em>.\n\nMany of you have gotten in touch with us and asked for a copy of that book. Let me say \u201cThank you for your support of this ministry.\u201d Your support\/your donation is what keeps <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on the air so that listeners, like you\u2014hundreds of thousands of them every day, all around the world\u2014can receive practical biblical help and hope for their marriages and their families. Your donations make that possible. Thank you for accelerating the work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> through your If you\u2019re able to make a gift today, be sure to ask for your copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book, <em>When to Walk Away<\/em>. You can give, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate at 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d We look forward to hearing from you.\n\nWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when Sam Crabtree will be back with us again. We\u2019re going to talk more about how we practice gratitude, especially in the midst of very difficult circumstances. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch; he got some help from Bruce Goff this week and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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can we give thanks in the midst of hard things? Pastor and author Sam Crabtree talks about how practicing thankfulness helps us see with fresh eyes.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What\u2019s your mood today?\u2014are you encouraged?\u2014are you discouraged?\u2014depressed?\u2014anxious? Sam Crabtree says there\u2019s a link between your mood and what I\u2019ll call your GQ\/your Gratitude Quotient.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>You can\u2019t just tell yourself, \u201cWell, don\u2019t be depressed today.\u201d That\u2019ll get a person nowhere. But you can decide, \u201cI\u2019m going to find something for which I can give thanks today.\u201d It\u2019s hard to be envious and thankful, depressed and thankful, outraged and thankful; it\u2019s nearly impossible.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Gratitude, as it turns out, is a pretty big deal for you and for your children as you raise them. We\u2019re going to talk about that today with Sam Crabtree. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I don\u2019t know that I ever stopped to think about this until I was getting ready for the conversation we\u2019re going to have today. I have always thought of gratitude\/thankfulness as a good character quality. It\u2019s something you want to teach your kids\u2014to be grateful\u2014right?\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s something\u2014that people who lack gratitude\u2014you don\u2019t like hanging around them.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong> I\u2019m trying to figure out where you\u2019re going to go with that, because that\u2019s true!\u2014no question. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have come to realize, in getting ready and reading the book we\u2019re going to talk about today, that gratitude is not just a nice add-on, like hot fudge you put on top of the ice cream; it\u2019s more critical\/more essential to who we are and how we live before God than that.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would agree. I think you\u2019re going to say, and we\u2019re going to find out today, it\u2019s at the <em>root<\/em> of happiness.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I do. Everybody wants to be happy.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, and I think it\u2019s easy to be happy and grateful when things are going well\/are easy; but it\u2019s not quite as easy when things aren\u2019t.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, Sam Crabtree is joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We are always glad when we can spend time with Sam. Sam, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>It\u2019s such a pleasure to hobnob with you guys. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yay, Sam!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sam is an author; he\u2019s a speaker; he is a pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis; has just written a book called <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. I\u2019m if you had a sense of how significant gratitude is before you really got into praying through, and studying, and researching for this book.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes, I did have a sense; but that sense gets enlarged as you write about something, as you dig into it, and you peel back some layers. You find out, \u201cWow, this goes deeper; it goes farther; this is more significant than I thought, even though I started out thinking it was <em>quite<\/em> significant.\u201d So yes, there\u2019s more to this than I first thought.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Sam, why this topic?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong> there was a guy named Peter Olney, who was in our small group that meets in our home. He said, \u201cSam, I have the next book you should write: <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>.\u201d You know, \u201cHahahaha; thanks for the idea.\u201d\n\nBut as I thought about it: \u201cYes, he saw something in the way I tried to interact with people in our congregation that he thought was a pattern that came out of something that I was seeing in the way God has designed the universe and who God is.\u201d The more I thought about it, the more I thought, \u201cPeter, I think you\u2019re right. I think that\u2019s a book-length project that would be worthwhile for people\u2019s edification; and to increase their delight in God; and for God to get more honor from these people, who are increasingly grateful to Him for all that He\u2019s doing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So he <em>saw<\/em> this in you.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Apparently.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, a person that practices thankfulness.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong> is why we <em>all<\/em> want to hang out with Sam. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Thank you! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, some would say, \u201cWell, it\u2019s just the demeanor. That\u2019s just the way a person\u2019s wired.\u201d Is it, or is it bigger than that?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Well, I think there is something to that. There is an array of personalities that God has given in the world, so that it\u2019s easier for some people to be certain ways than for others to be those same certain ways. Nevertheless, the ability to <em>see<\/em> what God is doing is a divine gift. You have to be alive, spiritually, to be thankful to God for what God is doing.\n\nThis is how explained the problem with the prodigal son. I\u2019ve asked over a thousand people: \u201cWhat do you think is the problem with the prodigal son? Is he just narcissistic, or is he selfish, or is he materialistic, or is he just lustful, or what\u2019s the problem with this kid?\u2014because his brother doesn\u2019t run off.\u201d\n\nJesus tells us <em>twice<\/em> in that what the problem with the prodigal son is: \u201cThis, my son, was dead, and now is alive.\u201d Until that son turned <em>toward<\/em> the father, instead of away from the father, he was dead toward the father. He was not appreciative toward the father. He didn\u2019t think that going home was a good place to be: \u201cLet me out of here!\u201d The father says it twice; he says it when his son returns, and he says it when he\u2019s explaining to the older son what\u2019s going on here.\n\nEven if a person is more wired to be thankful, pleasant, sociable; nevertheless, to earnestly thank God from the overflow of the heart\u2014that I\u2019m really trusting God that He\u2019s working this together for my good\u2014that\u2019s a faith thing, and faith is a gift. It\u2019s not a personality thing. The ten lepers\u2014nine of them didn\u2019t come back and say, \u201cThanks,\u201d\u2014one of them did. Of course, he enlarged his own joy, and satisfaction, and delight in meeting the Savior by his being different from the other nine.\n\nI don\u2019t know if I\u2019m answering your question well or not; but yes, some will find it easier; but to do it thoroughly, in a God-centered way, requires God to do a work in the heart of the individual.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Is thankfulness\/gratitude a <em>choice<\/em>? Is it something we <em>choose<\/em>?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>It is a choice; it\u2019s also a feeling. It\u2019s also a way of seeing; and fundamentally, it\u2019s a way of valuing, which is why it\u2019s so dependent upon God\u2014that He realign the compass of our hearts\u2014so that we value what should be valued. But the choice part is so hope-giving, I think, because thankfulness is antithetical to so many other emotions and behavior patterns.\n\nIt\u2019s hard to be envious and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. It\u2019s hard to be depressed and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. It\u2019s hard to be suicidal and thankful\u2014it\u2019s nearly impossible; outraged and thankful\u2014nearly impossible. What is so hopeful about that is you can\u2019t just tell yourself, \u201cWell, don\u2019t be depressed today.\u201d That will crash; that will burn; that will get a person nowhere. But you can decide, \u201cI\u2019m going to find something for which I can give thanks today.\u201d You can just decide that; it\u2019s a choice in that sense\u2014you can go on the lookout for stuff to be thankful for\u2014so there is a choice involved.\n\nThat\u2019s why it\u2019s helpful to read a book about it, or listen to a radio program about it, or something like that; because you can reorient yourself and decide: \u201cI am going to give focus to this,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to work on this; I\u2019m going to work <em>toward<\/em> this.\u201d\n\nThere\u2019s a choice, but I wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s just a <em>mere<\/em> choice. It\u2019s a choice that is aimed at, and motivated by\/incited by the prospect of delight. You look back, with thankfulness, for what God has done; that fuels future-oriented hope for what He\u2019s going to yet do that He hasn\u2019t done yet.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I know I was reading\u2014I don\u2019t know, years ago\u2014an author who was saying it was about perspective. He says, you know, a practice you should put into your daily routine, when you\u2019re not thankful or not seeing the good in your life, is just this phrase, \u201cIt could be worse.\u201d\n\nI\u2019ll never forget reading this; he\u2019s like: \u201cYou know, if you\u2019re in your car, and it\u2019s a ten-year-old clunker, and you drive by a really nice sports car, and you look over there and you feel like, \u201cI wish I had that,\u201d just say, \u201cIt could be worse!\u201d It is a perspective; right? I mean, it is a choice to say\u2014you said it earlier\u2014<em>seeing<\/em> something that a lot of people don\u2019t see.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I think I could say that that approach\u2014\u201cIt could be worse,\u201d\u2014is a\n\n1 Thessalonians 5:18 approach: \u201cIn everything give thanks.\u201d You\u2019re skiing down a hill; you break a leg\u2014well, give thanks you didn\u2019t break both legs and you didn\u2019t break your neck. [Laughter] You have a certain illness, but you don\u2019t have another illness\u2014you know, I think that\u2019s legitimate.\n\nBut I think the Bible wants <em>more<\/em> for us than just to think, \u201cWell, it could be worse,\u201d\u2014which is true; it could <em>always<\/em> be worse\u2014and for those that are not in Christ, it\u2019s going to be worse. But Ephesians 5 says, \u201cFor everything\u201d\u2014not just in everything\u2014\u201cFor everything give thanks always,\u201d\u2014everything\/always; two universals there\u2014because\u2014and this is a test of our faith, partly\u2014\u201cDo we really believe that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him? Do we think He\u2019s sovereign in everything?\u2014wasting nothing that He\u2019s [ever] done?\u201d\n\nThis is the lesson I think that Joseph had in the Old Testament when his brothers took him hostage; they threw him in a pit; they sold him into slavery. Joseph said, \u201cYou all meant this for my harm; but God <em>meant<\/em> this for my good\/our good that many would be saved.\u201d It\u2019s not just: \u201cIn it, be grateful\u201d; \u201c<em>For<\/em> it, be grateful.\u201d It was that famine that brought his brothers to him.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking about people, who are in very difficult marriages or very difficult family situations. They think, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to\u2014for this difficulty\/for this spouse, who is not responding to things in a godly way\u2014I\u2019m supposed to be <em>thankful<\/em> for this?\u201d There\u2019s almost a feeling like, \u201cIf I\u2019m thankful for this\u2014\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cit will enable them to stay the same.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes! \u201cI want things to change. How should I be grateful and still want things to change and get better?\u201d\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes, it sounds like crazy talk: \u201cI don\u2019t want a God who\u2019s like this.\u201d\n\nLet me at it a couple different ways. First, is just the clear biblical teaching that God is behind <em>everything<\/em>:\n\nHe in Isaiah 45: \u201cI form light and create darkness, I make wellbeing and create calamity; I am the Lord who does all these things.\u201d\n\nOr Lamentations 3: \u201cWho can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?\u201d\n\nJust to get the doctrine that God is sovereign\u2014universally, in everything, all the time, without exception\u2014He\u2019s there behind it, holding all things together. It\u2019s from Him, through Him, and to Him. He gives to all\u2014life, and breath, and everything else\u2014the Bible says. So to get that clear.\n\nThen to acknowledge, and learn, and build on the fact\/the observation that He\u2019s never done, ever. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in the pit. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in Potiphar\u2019s house. He wasn\u2019t done with Joseph when he was in prison. He wasn\u2019t done when there was this seven-year famine. God is not done.\n\nYou know, we prayed for my mother, who was on a five-year downward slide with dementia until she died. We prayed that she would be healed and so forth. We prayed that God would take her; if He was waiting for our permission, He had our permission. But when she died, there could be some, who would say: \u201cWell, God didn\u2019t answer your prayers,\u201d and \u201cHe failed.\u201d \u201cWhat do you think?\u2014God\u2019s done with her?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not the end of her life; that\u2019s not the end of her story. She just entered into the greatest chapter of her existence ever.\n\nGod is not wasting the affliction that He brings into our life, even if it\u2019s a difficult spouse, or it could be a difficult illness, or a difficult financial pressure, or something like that. It\u2019s good to look at texts that help us with that. Psalm 90, Moses says: \u201cMake us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us.\u201d James said: \u201cCount it all joy, brothers, when you encounter these many trials.\u201d\n\nWho likes trials? Who wants to get in the trial line and sign up?\u2014\u201cCan I have some extra trials, please?\u201d \u201cCount it all joy when you encounter these trials, knowing that the trying of your faith produces\u201d\u2014what a key word, <em>produces<\/em>!\u2014these trials are <em>productive<\/em>; they\u2019re not wasteful. God is <em>producing<\/em> something; specifically, the character of Christ in me. These trials are producing for you \u201can eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.\u201d How big?\u2014beyond all comparison.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>That\u2019s how good it is.\n\nAnd these momentary light afflictions that Paul\u2019s talking about\u2014I mean, he\u2019s been beaten, and left for dead, and all kinds of stuff that\u2019s happened to him\u2014when you\u2019re in these afflictions, they don\u2019t seem light; and they don\u2019t seem momentary, and we cry out for relief. That\u2019s a legitimate cry\u2014to cry out for relief\u2014we\u2019re not masochists; we\u2019re not sadists. We want to fix all the problems we can fix: we want to fix famines; we want to fix drought; we want to fix diseases; we want to fix broken marriages; we want to fix domestic problems. We want to fix them.\n\nBut when done our best, and we have the problem still unfixed, then God\u2019s not wasting it; He\u2019s doing a thousand\/ten thousand things.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So we can pray, and ought to pray, \u201cDeliver us from evil,\u201d or \u201cFix this broken situation\u201d; and at the same time, be thankful for what we\u2019re in the midst of?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>\u2014because God is not wasting what we were not able to fix, and He is producing. It\u2019s <em>productive<\/em>; Romans 5 says the same thing: that \u201cThese afflictions produce hope.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>We want the hope; we want the patience, but the only way to develop patience\u2014there\u2019s no Plan B\u2014the only way to develop patience is to have something to be impatient about; there\u2019s not an option there.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>There is Sam\u2014I think you\u2019re right that thankfulness <em>changes<\/em> us; gratitude <em>changes<\/em> us. I know that in our marriage, I was in a <em>bad<\/em> pattern and habit of looking at our marriage, and looking at Dave, and seeing the negative\u2014not being thankful for him, not seeing the greatness, not seeing the good\u2014it took me down this path of pity and anger. Yet, I remember the day that I went before God and I said, \u201cGod, show me. Show me the greatness of Dave, and help me to be <em>thankful<\/em> for what I do have.\u201d\n\nI started praying that, thanking God for all these great things that God had put into Dave. My eyes started to change as I was thankful\/as I was grateful for Dave, for who he was. Then I started to verbalize that to him. My heart started to change! I <em>became<\/em> more grateful, and I started <em>seeing<\/em> him in a totally different light.\n\nI really do think that that can <em>change<\/em> our marriage when we start being grateful and, then, even verbalizing that to our spouse.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>I argue in the book that I believe gratitude is soul pivoting. If you\u2019re grateful, you pivot towards God; and there\u2019s a growth trajectory there. If you decide, \u201cInstead of being grateful, I\u2019m going to complain, whine, fuss,\u201d the soul pivots\/swings like a hinge.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You\u2019re right; you have <em>both<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>They\u2019re antithetical to each other. As Jesus said, you know: \u201cYou\u2019re for Me or you\u2019re against Me.\u201d That pivot\u2014if you want to be a complainer, then there\u2019s a downward spiral that\u2019s <em>hardening<\/em> to the soul and <em>blinding<\/em> to the soul, where you stop <em>seeing<\/em> the good things that God is doing.\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think the amazing thing is\u2014it\u2019s contagious in some ways. When Ann complained and grumbled, I sort of became what she saw, maybe even worse. When she started to speak\u2014and I know you\u2019ve written about this as well\u2014when she was affirming and thankful, it made me want to be better; and it made me rise up. Thankfulness\/gratitude is contagious; is that true?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Oh, true; yes. People love to be around a grateful person, and they pick up on it. It is infectious; there\u2019s a contagion. Take your gratefulness mask off and splatter gratefulness all over people. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s a magnet. I mean, people run\/think about if your home was known by your kids\/by your spouse as a place of thankfulness. They would run home. They\u2019re going to run somewhere; right? Why not run home?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If I\u2019m not feeling grateful for something, should I pretend like I really am grateful for awhile?\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good question.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or do I wait until I\u2019m feeling it to try to act it?\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I think we should give thanks before we feel like it, for several reasons. One, we\u2019re commanded to give thanks: \u201cGive thanks.\u201d You\u2019re not seeing anything for which you should be thankful\u2014well, wake up; look around; there is some stuff there. Get on with the command\u2014fulfill it; obey the command\u2014that\u2019s one thing.\n\nSecond\u2014on the way to, hopefully, growing in <em>feeling<\/em> thankful\u2014looking for things for which I ought to be thankful opens the door, at least a crack, to let in some light that: \u201cYou know, I really am grateful for \u2018x\u2019 or \u2018y\u2019 or \u2018z<em>.\u2019\u201d<\/em>\n\nThird, you can pray, \u201cLord, awaken in me a more grateful attitude\u2014a more humble, alert, alive, attentive attitude\u2014that sees the showers of blessing that are all around me all the time, every day, everywhere.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember I was in a fitness class with a bunch of women. I got there early; and these women were all sitting around, talking about how horrible their husbands were. They were going into specifics: \u201cMy husband comes home, and all he does is sit down and watch TV,\u201d and \u201cHe never helps with the kids.\u201d They\u2019re going on and on. I was thinking, \u201cOh, this is so sad! They could have it so much better if they would trust Jesus!\u201d\n\nI get home that night; and Dave came in the door, and he had had a <em>bad<\/em> I don\u2019t remember a time that he came in the door and sat down and watched TV; but on this day, he came in the door; he turned on the TV, started watching ESPN. I\u2019m getting dinner\u2014the kids were younger\u2014and I\u2019m looking at him, like, \u201cLook at him! He\u2019s just like all those other husbands! Look at him!\u201d I looked down this negative road. He very seldom does that; but it\u2019s interesting\u2014sometimes, when you\u2019re around the negative\u2014that <em>also feeds<\/em> your soul.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; if contagious, so is negativity.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So is negativity; so do we need to be careful? I\u2019m thinking, when we\u2019re in the Word, it <em>breeds<\/em> thankfulness.\n\n<strong>Sam: <\/strong>Yes; I\u2019ve tried to address the question with teenagers, who have asked: \u201cIs it okay to go into such and such an environment?\u201d \u201cIs it okay to go into a tavern?\u201d \u201cIs it okay to go to such and such an event?\u201d\n\nOne way to answer that question is: \u201cIf a person goes there, who\u2019s influencing whom?\u201d Jesus could have lunch with prostitutes, because He wasn\u2019t becoming one. They were being redeemed; He wasn\u2019t falling. I think it\u2019s important to ask: \u201cDo I think I can make a difference?\u201d\u2014if I don\u2019t think I can, beware. \u201cGo into a dark, dark world and shine your light; the darker the world, the more one light will matter,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s true\u2014but a little self-awareness that: \u201cI might not be able to withstand the culture in my workplace,\u201d or \u201c\u2026my school,\u201d or something. Don\u2019t be na\u00efve that I will turn the tide, necessarily.\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the importance of being in God\u2019s Word\u2014of always being grounded\/of being in prayer continuously\u2014because I think you\u2019re right. I can make an impact wherever I go with my thankfulness\/with the light of Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019ll you\u2014I have a friend who quit her job; because she was daily with three other women, who were routinely negative about their husband. \u201cAfter awhile,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cThis conversation is so toxic for me that\u2014even if I am prayed up, and missionally minded, and all of that\u2014I just come home drained and not in the right state of mind.\u201d This was a significant economic choice for her to quit her job; and yet, she was saying, \u201cMy heart is more important\/my marriage is more important than how much money we have here.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Wow!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>To quit the job and come home\u2014she told her husband that\u2019s why she was quitting the job\u2014and they talked about it, and they agreed that was what she needed to do and ought to do. They had to tighten their belt for a little while; but they\u2019re so glad, looking back on that, that their marriage is not a casualty, as it might have slowly become over time.\n\nThis is why I think thankfulness\u2014learning to be grateful in the midst of all things\u2014why this is so important. Sam, it\u2019s why we\u2019re so glad to have copies of your book available for our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Sam Crabtree\u2019s book is called <em>Practicing Thankfulness: Cultivating a Grateful Heart in All Circumstances.<\/em> It\u2019s a book we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy of Sam Crabtree\u2019s book, <em>Practicing Thankfulness<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; you can order the book from us online; or call to order at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nWe have from a lot of you this week, who got in touch with us, asking for a copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book, <em>When to Away <\/em>. Gary was on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> earlier this week, and we\u2019re making his book available to those of you who can make a donation to help support the ongoing ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Gary\u2019s book gives us a biblical perspective on how to appropriately deal with people who can be toxic in our lives. The subtitle is <em>Finding Freedom from Toxic People<\/em>.\n\nMany of you have gotten in touch with us and asked for a copy of that book. Let me say \u201cThank you for your support of this ministry.\u201d Your support\/your donation is what keeps <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on the air so that listeners, like you\u2014hundreds of thousands of them every day, all around the world\u2014can receive practical biblical help and hope for their marriages and their families. Your donations make that possible. Thank you for accelerating the work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> through your If you\u2019re able to make a gift today, be sure to ask for your copy of Gary Thomas\u2019s book, <em>When to Walk Away<\/em>. You can give, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate at 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d We look forward to hearing from you.\n\nWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow when Sam Crabtree will be back with us again. We\u2019re going to talk more about how we practice gratitude, especially in the midst of very difficult circumstances. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch; he got some help from Bruce Goff this week and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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