{"id":306719,"date":"2021-02-09T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-02-09T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/where-we-find-happiness\/"},"modified":"2021-02-09T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-02-09T12:00:05","slug":"where-we-find-happiness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/where-we-find-happiness\/","title":{"rendered":"Where We Find Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How can we truly be happy? FamilyLife Today hosts Dave and Ann Wilson talk with Derwin Gray about his new book, The Good Life, and fulfilling the longing in our souls.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tLearn more about the Dates to Remember\u2122 box. https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/dates-to-remember\/<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can we truly be happy? FamilyLife Today hosts Dave and Ann Wilson talk with Derwin Gray about his new book, <em>The Good Life<\/em>, and fulfilling the longing in our souls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:35:17","filesize":"32.3M","filesize_raw":"33869722","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2906,2822],"tags":[4299,6970],"podcast_series":[8428],"cwp_profile":[9183],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306719","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-christian","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-faith","tag-life-issues","podcast_series-the-good-life","cwp_profile-derwin-gray","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306719\/where-we-find-happiness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306719\/where-we-find-happiness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lwhYVV4cfG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/where-we-find-happiness\/\">Where We Find Happiness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/where-we-find-happiness\/embed\/#?secret=lwhYVV4cfG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Where We Find Happiness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lwhYVV4cfG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How can we truly be happy? FamilyLife Today hosts Dave and Ann Wilson talk with Derwin Gray about his new book, The Good Life, and fulfilling the longing in our souls.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-02-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are two things that can be simultaneously true: marriage is a <em>great<\/em> delight for husbands and wives, <em>and<\/em> marriage is hard work for husbands and wives. Here\u2019s Derwin Gray.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> One of the things that I tell young couples, before they get married, is this: \u201cPay more for premarital counseling\u2014spend more money on that\u2014than on the wedding. The wedding is a day; the marriage is a lifetime.\u201d We bring to the marriage our past hurts. It\u2019s like we bring this invisible suitcase that becomes visible over time.\n\nAnd as you know, the first four years that you\u2019re in love, you\u2019re high; God gets us high!\u2014all these chemicals that make us feel good; that\u2019s why we get married. If we were sober, we would never get married; because we\u2019d be like, \u201cGirl, you\u2019re kind of bossy!\u201d [Laughter] You know what I\u2019m saying? But when the high-ness wears off, that\u2019s when you begin the real work of learning to put down your preferences and picking up your cross.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, February 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Having a successful marriage\u2014a marriage that thrives\u2014well, there\u2019s a mindset involved in that. We\u2019ll talk about what that mindset is today with Derwin Gray. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I thought maybe now that the game is like \u201cover-over,\u201d I thought maybe we could do this and not talk about football; but then I realized\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, Bob!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you get\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Dave and Derwin in the same room together, football\u2019s going to come up somehow. I mean, that\u2019s just the fact; right?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think God gave us football as an analogy for how to do life. That\u2019s what it\u2019s about!\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Well, yes, because I was reading\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here we go!\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> I was reading the ancient Egyptian text of the Book of Genesis\u2014[Laughter], and on Day Seven, when God created Adam and Eve, He created football.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was Day <em>Six<\/em> that He created Adam and Eve. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Oh, yes! Day Six; yes. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The ancient Egyptian\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014the Egyptian\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes, the ancient Egyptian text!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014might be a <em>little <\/em>out there.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> It was in there! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] This is our friend, Derwin Gray, joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Thanks for having me.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Derwin is the Pastor of Transformation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Six years in the NFL; a stand-out college player at BYU before that. We should just say\u2014so we clear it up\u2014you said this already this week, but you were a non-Mormon playing at BYU.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> I was; yes. I was, and still continue to be, a non-Mormon. What I will say\u2014in God\u2019s sovereign love, allowing me to go to BYU was one of the <em>best<\/em> experiences of my life\u2014because, one, I <em>had to <\/em>learn how to adjust and to adapt to people and cultures that are <em>vastly<\/em> different from mine. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:22-23: \u201cI become all things to all men that one may know Christ.\u201d It has allowed me to appreciate people\u2019s differences and to invite them to the table.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I follow you on Twitter, so I know you love the Cougars. You still watch their games every week.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> I do, I do; yes. BYU\u2014like I said the other day, the older you get, the more appreciative you are of your experiences. Man, when I go back to BYU, I am like a rock star. If my self-esteem is ever low\u2014[Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cJust go to Provo!\u201d\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> \u2014I just go back to BYU! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We asked you to join us because you\u2019ve just written a book called <em>The Good Life, <\/em>which is about what Jesus teaches in Matthew 5\u2014the Sermon on the Mount\u2014about where happiness is found\/where satisfaction for your soul is found. It\u2019s the Beatitudes that begin that sermon.\n\nAs I looked at your book, I thought, \u201cYou know, the antithesis to what you\u2019re talking about\/what Jesus was talking about here is the whole issue of pride. Our pride is what keeps us from the good life; isn\u2019t it?\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Most people understand pride as: \u201cWell, look how great I am! I can do it myself.\u201d But there\u2019s also a more <em>subtle<\/em> understanding of pride that\u2019s this: \u201cI\u2019m not worthy. How can God love me? He can forgive other people, but He can\u2019t forgive me. Who am I that He would use me?\u201d\n\nNotice what takes place here is\u2014on one side of pride, it\u2019s: \u201cLook how great I am\u201d; on the other side of pride, it\u2019s: \u201cLook how bad I am.\u201d And both of those sides <em>miss<\/em> the grace of the great I AM.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s really interesting; because a lot of people just say, \u201cWhoa, whoa, whoa! I\u2019m struggling with unworthiness or shame, and I\u2019m kind of just lost in it.\u201d You\u2019re saying that could be a sense of pride.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes, because\u2014and here\u2019s why\u2014if you follow Jesus, He said these words: \u201c<em>Tetelestai\u201d<\/em>\/\u201dIt is finished.\u201d Once you\u2019ve taken a blood bath in the grace of Jesus, your status has <em>forever<\/em> changed. Your status is now Jesus\u2019 status. What\u2019s true about Jesus is true about you. Jesus\u2019 past behavior absorbs your behavior, and you\u2019re united to Him. Everything that God the Father believes about Jesus, He actually now believes about you, as though it\u2019s true.\n\nWhy?\u2014because Jesus lived the sinless life we could never live. Jesus died the death we should have died on the cross. Jesus rose again\u2014defeating sin, death, and evil\u2014to unite our lives with His life. Even as I listen to myself talk, that is absolutely <em>unfair<\/em>! That\u2019s why it\u2019s called \u201cgrace.\u201d Grace not only brings you into the family of God, but grace keeps and sustains you in the family of God.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think a lot of us\u2014and maybe it\u2019s pride\u2014almost laugh at that. Honestly, I\u2019m thinking\/I grew up, thinking, \u201cOkay, if you\u2019re a Christian, and you believe this stuff\u201d\u2014 Derwin, what you just said\u2014\u201c\u2018That\u2019s not the good life! I mean, I want that; that\u2019s good to have on the side, but the good life\u2026\u201d\u2014 I call it the \u201cTheology of \u2018It\u2019\u201d; I think we all have this \u201cTheology of \u2018It\u2019\u201d\u2014\u201cWhen I get \u201cit,\u201d then I\u2019ll be happy.\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can remember winning the MAC Championship; that\u2019s big time!\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> That is.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, you played at BYU; I was at big-time Ball State. I can remember beating Northern Illinois, throwing the winning touchdown. <em>In the shower<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This was after the game.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, I can remember just this sense\/this feeling of, \u201cThat\u2019s it?!\u201d\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, that was\/I thought \u201cthe good life.\u201d We all feel this. It\u2019s like, when you look at what you just said about the Beatitudes, and real happiness is following God, you almost go, \u201cIs it?!\u201d But here\u2019s the thing: nothing else has worked, so it has to be something else.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve nailed it. That <em>is <\/em>the happy, good life,\u201d but help us understand\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014how that really is fulfilling the DNA of our longing in our soul.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes; you know, let me add this, too; because I think it\u2019s important that\u2014let\u2019s say, if we could supernaturally go back in time, where you had your long locks like Fabio\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and if Jesus was forming the Beatitudes in you, after you won that MAC Championship, it would have been a different sensation. You would have been <em>grateful<\/em> to God! You would have been <em>thankful<\/em> to Him. You would have appreciated winning more, because you wouldn\u2019t have been a shadow; you would have been the real thing. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that we\u2019re \u201cin essence, shadows\u201d; we\u2019re not solid.\n\nWell, the Beatitudes make us solid! What I want to say is: \u201cChristian men, Christian women, Christian teenagers, or whoever you are: \u2018<em>Go for it<\/em> for the glory of God! Be phenomenal.\u2019\u201d Accomplishing things is wonderful if it\u2019s for His glory, and He\u2019s formed us to the people that He wants us to be!\n\nThe second part of your question\u2014is this: \u201cYou have to jump into the water and see if this is true.\u201d Years ago, my wife and I were on vacation somewhere in the Caribbean. She\u2019s very aquatic; I am not so much aquatic, okay? If there\u2019s more water than a Jacuzzi, Derwin ain\u2019t getting in it. [Laughter] Anyway, she would do\u2014what is it?\u2014snorkeling. She would snorkel. Black people don\u2019t snorkel, but she was snorkeling. [Laughter] Anyway, she was snorkeling; and she would come out and go, \u201cIt\u2019s <em>beautiful! <\/em>It\u2019s incredible!\u201d For years, I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s good, honey.\u201d And she said, \u201cNo, you have to see it!\u201d\n\nOne day, I was like, \u201cAlright! I\u2019ll do it.\u201d I jumped in the water, tried to swim, messed up a little bit. Some Caribbean boys were like [with Jamaican accent], \u201cLook at ya, man, with all those muscles, and you can\u2019t even swim!!\u201d [Laughter] I was like [with Jamaican accent], \u201cNo, I can\u2019t swim!\u201d [Laughter] Eventually, I figured the snorkeling thing out; and lo and behold, I was like, \u201cBoom! This is <em>better<\/em> than she described.\u201d I was like, \u201cThis is like looking at life from a <em>whole<\/em> <em>new<\/em> reality.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to get out of the water. When I came out, I was like, \u201cWhoa! How did I miss out on this for so long?\u201d\n\nWell, Jesus, when He invites us into His kingdom\/when He invites us into the good life through the Beatitudes, He\u2019s saying, \u201cI want you to jump into the water so you can see how beautiful life can really be.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because the good life isn\u2019t always the easy life.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Oh, goodness, no!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Talk about that; because you just said, you\u2019re snorkeling, and you\u2019re opening your eyes to this whole new world,\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and yet, it\u2019s not always easy.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> No; oh, gosh! Well, there\u2019s a chapter that I wrote called \u201cBlessed Are the Peacemakers,\u201d or \u201cHappy Are the Peacemakers.\u201d I open up that chapter with the beating of Rodney King in 1992. Some of the listeners may not remember this; but in 1992, a man by the name of Rodney King in Los Angeles took police on a high-speed chase. The police beat him with batons, and someone was filming it. This was before we had smartphones.\n\nFor many of us in the black community, it was like, \u201cFinally! People will see that this type of police brutality is true!\u201d Now let me affirm: \u201cDo we love policemen\/do I love policemen?\u201d\u2014yes; I pastor many of them, and pray for them, and love them. We get awards at Transformation Church for our work with the police department. One can be for police and for police reform simultaneously.\n\nFor those of us, who are theologically minded, the idea of total depravity doesn\u2019t skip the police department. Just like there are bad pastors, there are unhealthy, bad police officers, who enforce police brutality. Anyway, I write \u201cBlessed are the Peacemakers.\u201d I describe that experience; and lo and behold, in America, we\u2019re still having these types of issues; we\u2019re having the racial divide.\n\nI\u2019m writing this chapter about how to be a peacemaker across ethnic and cultural lines. \u201cHow do you love people who despise your existence?\u201d\u2014well, the way you love people, who despise your existence, is to keep your eyes on Jesus, who gave you an eternal existence, and who says, \u201cLove your enemies.\u201d I\u2019m not going to persuade you by giving evil for evil. The only way I can try to persuade you is to love you. Besides,\u2014listen!\u2014if I love you with the love of Jesus, it may not stop <em>you<\/em> from hating me; but it will stop <em>me<\/em> from hating <em>you<\/em>.\n\nI lay open this theology of ethnic reconciliation for God\u2019s people to be able to walk through, so that the Gen Z and the younger generations can say, \u201cThese Christians in America would not stand by and allow the dark forces of racism to continue; they\u2019re going to be salt and light.\u201d That\u2019s the good life! Yes, that\u2019s tough! That\u2019s really hard, but nowhere in the Bible does Jesus go, \u201cHey, by the way, this is going to be really easy today!\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Matter of fact, He said this in John 16:33: \u201cIn this world, you will have trouble; but take courage, because I have overcome the world.\u201d He overcame the world by breaking the shackles of sin, and death, and evil. No one can make me <em>not <\/em>act like a Christian. I can only <em>give them<\/em> the power to do so.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As we walk back to the humility part, talk about how being humble plays out in marriage. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Wow! Yes; you know, one of the most incredible gifts of being married is God reveals to you how selfish you are. That has been one of the incredible gifts\u2014is you see how selfish you are.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That doesn\u2019t sound like a gift! To have a mirror held up to you\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to go, \u201cLook at this; look how selfish you are today.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you discover that on your own, or did Vicki kind of point that out? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> No, Vicki\u2019s really good at pointing that out! [Laughter] That was\/yes, she was really good at pointing that out, for sure. But, you see, my pride was the more <em>dangerous<\/em> kind of pride. My pride was a proudness in my humility. My whole life, Dave, I had been taught this: \u201cIf people got close to me, they could hurt me; therefore, I\u2019m not going to let you get close to me to hurt me. If anybody\u2019s going to hurt Derwin Gray, it\u2019s going to be Derwin Gray.\u201d\n\nI brought that into marriage. One of the things that I tell young couples, before they get married, is this: \u201cPay more for marriage counseling than the wedding. Premarital counseling\u2014spend more money on that\u2014than on the wedding. The wedding is a day; the marriage is a lifetime.\u201d We bring to the marriage our past hurts. It\u2019s like we bring this invisible suitcase that becomes visible over time.\n\nAs you know, the first four years that you\u2019re in love, you\u2019re high; God gets us high!\u2014all of these chemicals make us feel good. That\u2019s why we get married; because if we were sober, we would never get married. We\u2019d be like, \u201cDang, girl! You\u2019re kind of bossy!\u201d [Laughter] You know what I\u2019m saying? But when the high-ness wears off, that\u2019s when you begin the real work of learning to put down your preferences and picking up your cross.\n\nThe humility part was this: about ten years in, oh gosh! We were like glorified roommates, but there\u2019s so much more that God wants to do. Humility is God strips you of everything that you <em>think<\/em> you are. He begins to reconstruct you. There are various things that we went through: from dealing with the pain and trauma of our past; for Vicki, she went through cancer in 2004; when she was pregnant, she went through what\u2019s called <em>hyperemesis gravidarum<\/em>, which is the Latin term for \u201cthrow up all day, every day.\u201d\n\nI\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cHow in the world can I be prideful toward her when she literally feels like she has the flu for nine months?!\u201d With our last child, Jeremiah\u2014we had a miscarriage in between\u2014with Jeremiah, she actually slipped into clinical depression. Before then, you know, I was a typical guy\/I think, \u201cWell, just drink some Gatorade!\u201d No; clinical depression is not: \u201cDrink some Gatorade.\u201d It became serious when she looked at me and said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to live.\u201d\n\nWhen we were at her doctor, the doctor closed the door. There was a list on the door that said: \u201cYou\u2019re depressed if\u2026\u201d All ten of those characteristics of depression, we went, \u201cYes, yes, yes, yes, yes.\u201d A part of my humbling was watching her strength to bring our children into the world, watching her strength to walk through cancer with incredible faith.\n\nOne night\u2014no one ever tells you this\u2014but when you\u2019re diagnosed with cancer, the first night you just can\u2019t sleep. I remember us being in the bed, and we were both sniffling and crying. She quoted a Scripture, and then I quoted a Scripture; then she quoted a Scripture; then I quoted a Scripture. Before you know it, we were literally playing Scriptural tennis, going back and forth. Our tears of fear turned into tears of hope\/tears of joy.\n\nPart of my humbling was watching the way she walks with Jesus. The woman <em>knows <\/em>Jesus!\u2014like, \u201cI am a better man because of her!\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I think about Jesus\u2019 statement: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit,\u201d and I think we can tend to have this idea that we must think that we\u2019re terrible people. I think what it means is we must acknowledge the reality of the condition that we\u2019re in. Most of us think we\u2019re better than we are. So \u201cpoor in spirit\u201d is to say, \u201cI\u2019m not as good as I think I am.\u201d You mentioned this, Derwin; you said there can be this other kind of pride that says, \u201cOh, I\u2019m a terrible person.\u201d\n\nThe reality of your spiritual condition is to acknowledge two things simultaneously: \u201cI am created in the image of God; I have value, worth, and dignity as a result of that,\u201d and \u201cI am riddled with sin that keeps me separated from the God who created me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes; so I like to say it is that grace humbles us without deflating us, and exalts us without moving us to the place of thinking that we\u2019re greater than God.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s good!\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> And to be \u201cpoor in spirit\u201d is Jesus saying, \u201cHappy are those who are God-reliant,\u201d\u2014that every breath you take is a gift of God.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> We even take breathing oxygen for granted. We take for granted that the sun is going to rise. No!\u2014we\u2019re not entitled to <em>any<\/em> of those things\u2014so being poor in spirit is pure gift.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> It\u2019s pure grace; it\u2019s: \u201cGod, thank You that I can even say, \u2018Thank You.\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The \u201cHappiness Manifesto.\u201d\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, you ended the book with this; and you even said, \u201cHey, maybe put this on your wall or your bedroom door and say that.\u201d I thought, \u201cThis captures\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> I think you should read it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Read it!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to read it; I mean, I was going to make <em>you<\/em> read it\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> No, I want you to read it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you wrote it!\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> You\u2019re a quarterback!\n\n<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019ll read it, man. It says:\n\nI, blank\u2014so you put your name in\u2014I, Dave, declare that all I would ever hope to be is found in all of who Jesus is. My life is hidden in His life. His life is my life. As a gift of grace, Jesus lived a sinless life because I couldn\u2019t. In His unending mercy, Jesus died the death that I should have to atone for my sin. Today, I am free from the power of sin and death. Because of His great love for me, I am holy, blameless, righteous, an adopted child of God. I am pleasing to the Father because I am in His beloved Son.\n\nThe happiness that I seek can never be satisfied by created things. The happiness I was created to experience is not found in happenings. True happiness is more about God making me good than good things happening to me. Today, I declare that I choose happiness because I choose Jesus, His kingdom, and His glory. Today, I declare that I will choose the ways of His kingdom, the truth of His gospel, and will live from His life. Signed, Dave Wilson.\n\n<strong>Derwin: <\/strong><em>Word!<\/em>\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What a great thing to say every morning\u2014\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014like: \u201cThis is who I am. This is who Jesus is, and this is what He has for me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Yes, and speaking a Scripture-infused declaration over yourself is worship.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> And I want to go back to the other part of pride of: \u201cI\u2019m unworthy,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m this\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019m that\u2026\u201d If you belong to Jesus, don\u2019t call Him a liar. You may <em>feel <\/em>that way; sometimes your <em>actions<\/em> may reflect that, but the greatness of our God is He says, \u201cBefore the foundations of the world, the Lamb of God was slain.\u201d God loved us before the foundation of the world! God has already taken into account past, present, future sins. What He declares to be so, we believe it. When we believe it, our feelings and our actions catch up to His truth.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you living the \u201cgood life\u201d?\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> I am! If this book doesn\u2019t help anybody, it helped me! It really taught me new ways of how to engage Jesus, but also new ways of how to see and be in the world in which I\u2019m not co-dependent on the world for my happiness.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And God gave you a good, good, good woman\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Oh, no doubt!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to be with you through that.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Oh, gosh! Oh, my goodness; yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I think you can add us to the list of people the book has helped.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s not just you. And I hope it\u2019s going to help a lot of our listeners as well.\n\nThank you for being with us and talking about this.\n\n<strong>Derwin:<\/strong> Thank you so much.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are making Derwin\u2019s book, <em>The Good Life, <\/em>available this week to those of you who can support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with a donation. What you\u2019re actually doing, when you donate, is you\u2019re investing in the marriages, the families, the lives of tens of thousands of people every day, who are receiving practical biblical help and hope for their marriage through this daily radio program. I should say, hundreds of thousands; because, really, the reach of this program has expanded so much over the past decade because of the number of channels where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is being heard.\n\nThere are people all around the world who are accessing this program thanks to the generosity of listeners, like you, who make all of this possible with your donations. Again, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, to help expand and increase the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. When you do, ask for your copy of <em>The Good Life<\/em>\u2014by Derwin Gray\u2014<em>What Jesus Teaches about Finding True Happiness. <\/em>It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you in appreciation for your support, and we do look forward to hearing from you.\n\nNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about what real love looks like. I think, honestly, all of us need to have our thinking recalibrated a bit when it comes to our understanding of love. Besides, with Valentine\u2019s Day coming up this weekend, we\u2019re thinking about love; let\u2019s think about it rightly. We\u2019ll talk more about what real love looks like tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for that with us.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team, and special help today from Justin Adams. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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