{"id":306688,"date":"2021-01-20T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2021-01-20T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/good-enough\/"},"modified":"2021-01-20T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2021-01-20T12:00:06","slug":"good-enough","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Am I good enough? On FamilyLife Today, hosts Dave and Ann Wilson join author Jamie Ivey to discuss the balance between who we are and who we&#8217;re becoming in Christ.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tVisit JamieIvey.com for more from Jamie and link to her podcast.\u00a0 http:\/\/jamieivey.com\/<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am I good enough? On FamilyLife Today, hosts Dave and Ann Wilson join author Jamie Ivey to discuss the balance between who we are and who we&#8217;re becoming in Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-20.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:05","filesize":"26.63M","filesize_raw":"27926031","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2853,2838,2831,2093],"tags":[6968],"podcast_series":[8422],"cwp_profile":[9920],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306688","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-frazzled-family","category-mothers","category-wives","category-women","tag-purpose-in-life","podcast_series-you-be-you","cwp_profile-jamie-ivey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306688\/good-enough","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306688\/good-enough","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Ys0yFHUiHy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-enough\/\">Good Enough<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-enough\/embed\/#?secret=Ys0yFHUiHy\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Good Enough&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Ys0yFHUiHy\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Author and podcaster, Jamie Ivy, say\u2019s all of us go through seasons in life where we\u2019re trying to figure out who we are and what we\u2019re supposed to do. She says that season can go on for a long, long, long, long time.\n\n<strong>Jamie: <\/strong>The same question that people are asked in their 20s\u2014I think that for us, who are 40 and above\u2014we can look at the 20-year-olds and be like, \u201cOh, you\u2019re just trying to figure out who you are.\u201d Then we\u2019re like, \u201cSo are we; we\u2019re still trying to do this as well.\u201d I don\u2019t think it\u2019s like you ever show up and you\u2019re like, \u201cI know <em>exactly<\/em> what I\u2019m supposed to be doing.\u201d We\u2019re on this journey all the time of figuring out: \u201cWhat has God asked me to do today?\u201d \u201c\u2026and then tomorrow?\u201d \u201c\u2026and the next day?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. The journey of self-discovery is an essential first step as we figure out how we can best accomplish God\u2019s assignment for our lives. We\u2019ll talk more about that with Jamie Ivey today. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I remember the day that Mary Ann and I got married.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I hope you remember that. [Laughter] That\u2019s a pretty big deal.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have some distinct memories of that day. One of those is that the pants of my tuxedo split right before the wedding ceremony.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019ve never told us this.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know; that\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Were you doing like the splits back there or what?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I bent over or something, and all of a sudden, I heard this rip. [Laughter] We had to get that fixed quickly. Then it was all covered up; it was good. But I also remember, being back in the back, 30 minutes to the wedding, and thinking to myself, \u201cWhat if she changes? I\u2019m about to pledge my life: \u2018\u2026till death do us part,\u2019 to somebody who might change a year from now. What do I do?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014might change?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> See, that\u2019s what I was thinking is: \u201cWhat do I do if she\u2019s a different person a year from now?\u201d There was a song on the radio\u2014this is a terrible song\u2014but it was on the radio when I was getting married: \u201cIt\u2019s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ooh!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat if the <em>right<\/em> one comes along, three years from now, and she\u2019s changed? How does anybody do this?\u201d That\u2019s what I was thinking.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Have you told Mary Ann about this?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She knows all about this.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was like God said, \u201cShe\u2019s going to change; you\u2019re going to change. I\u2019m still God; I got this,\u201d\u2014right? \u2014\u201cWe\u2019re going to get through this.\u201d\n\nI was thinking about that in the context of what we\u2019ve been talking about this week, because we\u2019ve got Jamie Ivey joining us this week. Jamie, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thanks, guys.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie is a podcaster, an author, a speaker, a mom, a wife. Her husband, Aaron, is a worship leader at Austin Stone in Austin. They\u2019ve got four kids\u2014one bio\/three adopted\u2014right?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk in your new book, which is called <em>You Be You<\/em>, you talk about learning to embrace who God made you to be. But there\u2019s a part of the book that says: \u201cBut don\u2019t just settle for who you are. God doesn\u2019t want you to just stay who you are. He wants you to be someone more than you are.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes. I had a conversation with a friend a couple of years ago; she was talking to me. She works at a church; she worked in ministry\u2014she was a phenomenal writer\u2014material for women. From what I could see, she was just killing it. I had a conversation with her, and she told me she was quitting. I was like, \u201cYou\u2019re quitting?\u201d She said, \u201cI looked in the mirror recently and I don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming.\u201d I was so taken aback by that; because from what I could see, she was doing all the right things. She was doing so much for the kingdom, benefitting so many people; and she said, \u201cI don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming.\u201d\n\nThat really\u2014it hit me and it struck me\u2014because I thought, \u201cHow many times in our life are we doing so much\u2014and we\u2019re doing and we\u2019re doing\u2014and then we look in the mirror and go, \u2018Wow; I don\u2019t even know who I am anymore. Who am I becoming?\u2019\u201d It made me think, \u201cI want to spend the rest of my life becoming more like Jesus.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Hopefully, Mary Ann changed; because she was becoming more like Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> But there is this sense of, as people who work in Christian ministry, and we do things <em>\u201cfor God<\/em>\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what we do\u2014but waking up one day and going, \u201cMan, do I love like the attention, and my job, and the success?\u201d\u2014or whatever it might be\u2014\u201cOr do I really love God?\u201d\u2014just saying, \u201cI want to know You more.\u201d That changes who we are becoming when we have this idea of: \u201cI want to become more like You, at the end of the day, no matter what.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s interesting\u2014what you\u2019re talking about, Jamie\u2014I was in a meeting this past week. A guy was up, talking about his vision for the future. I remember sitting there, going, \u201cI don\u2019t know the last time I felt like somebody\u2014a preacher, a minister, a fulltime Christian worker\u2014was leading, and it was so apparent it was an overflow of his walk with God. I was sitting there, watching this young man do this; I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s rare.\u201d It shouldn\u2019t be rare, because that\u2019s\u2014and you talk about it in your book\u2014like, \u201cWhat is success as a follower of Christ?\u201d Talk about that.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, you probably thought, \u201cI\u2019ll follow you wherever, because this is amazing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you want to.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Talking about success\u2014just a couple of weeks ago at our church\u2014a pastor was preaching, and he was going through The Beatitudes. He said, \u201cBlessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.\u201d I\u2019ve heard sermons on all of those: \u201cBlessed are the ones\u2026\u201d This hit me; because he said, \u201cWhat do you hunger and thirst for every day?\u201d\n\nI thought, \u201cIf we had to write a list, it\u2019s not going to be pretty some days.\u201d It just hit me, like, \u201cDo I hunger and thirst for righteousness more than success, or fame, or friendships, or love, or good kids?\u201d\u2014or fill in the blank. I\u2019ve thought a lot about that in the past couple of years with this idea of success. I think sometimes, in Christian circles among women in particular, success feels like a super scary word: \u201cAm I allowed to be successful?\u201d \u201cWhat does successful actually mean?\u201d \u201cIs this okay if I\u2019m successful?\u201d \u201cAm I prideful? Am I full of myself?\u201d\u2014all the things.\n\nI specifically put that word on the front of my book in the subtitle, because I wanted to take some of this scariness away from it; because here\u2019s what God showed me in the past couple of years: \u201cSuccess is good, but I need to re-evaluate my idea of success\u201d; because the world\u2019s standards of success\u2014it\u2019s like a moving target\u2014it\u2019s constantly changing: \u201cYou\u2019re successful in your career if you hit this.\u201d Then you hit it; and you\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019m amazing!\u201d Then they say, \u201cThat\u2019s actually not the best thing anymore,\u201d so you now have three more levels to meet or whatever your career might be.\n\nI\u2019ve decided: \u201cI want to be faithful. I think that when we\u2019re faithful with what God asked us to do, no matter the world\u2019s standards of success, God looks at us and says, \u2018You\u2019re successful right where you are. That\u2019s what I asked you to do.\u2019\u201d A particular example that I, often, think of is\u2014I\u2019ve been podcasting for six-and-a-half years. About four years ago, the platform that hosts my podcast, where you would find out how many people listen to your show, they emailed and said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been measuring this all wrong. You had \u201cx\u201d number of people listening; now, it\u2019s this\u2026\u201d\u2014for my particular show, it was <em>half<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I wake up that day and I think I\u2019m a successful podcaster; by the end of the day, \u201cI\u2019m a failure; I need to quit. I am the worst person that\u2019s ever lived. Why do I even have a job? I\u2019m not recording anymore shows.\u201d [Laughter] Okay, I can be dramatic too.\n\nDo you see what I\u2019m saying?\u2014is that idea of success\u2014I thought I had it. With one email, all of a sudden, I\u2019m a failure. Over the next couple of days, after I moaned and groaned to my husband, Aaron\u2014and he politely listened and pointed me back to the gospel all the time\u2014but I had this moment, where I thought, \u201cI didn\u2019t change anything about my show from the day before to the day after that email; nothing changed. <em>My mission<\/em> is still the same; my show is still the same: when I create a show, I need it to be encouraging, inspiring and point people to Jesus.\u201d\n\nThat email changed <em>nothing<\/em> about my faithfulness to what God asked me to do. That was good for me. Because numbers matter in work\u2014let\u2019s not be dumb here\u2014people have jobs; you\u2019ve got to get paychecks; you\u2019ve got to make quota\u2014all the things. Numbers still matter in my job, but I\u2019m not consumed by it; because I know, if I\u2019m going to be faithful to what God asked me to do, I\u2019m going to be successful.\n\nYou can translate that to anything. If you think, \u201cOkay, a successful mom is one, who her kids always obey the first time; they always say, \u2018Yes, ma\u2019am,\u2019 \u2018No, ma\u2019am.\u2019 Then they grow up, and they\u2019re in ministry, and they change the world.\u201d But what if that doesn\u2019t happen?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWhat if my child\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cchooses to walk away from the faith?\u201d or\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cWhat if they become an addict?\u201d or \u201cWhat if\u2026\u201d Am I now a <em>failure<\/em> as a mom? I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> a failure if I was faithful, every day, to love my kids the way God asked me to love them.\n\nOr if you\u2019re thinking, like a woman: \u201cIf I\u2019m a successful woman, then I\u2019m like \u2018Woman of the Year\u2019 in my community. We have a party at the end of the year; they\u2019re like, \u2018You\u2019re the best woman that this community\u2019s ever seen,\u2019\u201d\u2014if that\u2019s success, then good luck; because that just doesn\u2019t happen. [Laughter] But faithfulness would be: \u201cI\u2019m going to love the community that God\u2019s put me in.\u201d It was this readjustment for me that brought me so much satisfaction and so much freedom to do exactly what God had asked me to do, even if looks different than what she\u2019s [another woman\u2019s] doing.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s my question, as we think about who you are, and who you are becoming: \u201cShould a person be content in who they are and who God made them to be?\u201d or \u201cShould they be discontented\u2014holy discontented; \u201cH\u201d \u201cO\u201d \u201cL\u201d \u201cY\u201d discontented\u2014that they are not who they ought to be?\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think that, if you are not living the way God wants you to live\u2014like you\u2019re living in sin, and you\u2019re throwing out the opportunities that He\u2019s giving you\/the places He\u2019s put you\u2014that\u2019s a story, where you can have some discipleship come in and some mentorship to maybe get you back on track.\n\nBut if you\u2019re just looking at your life, and going, \u201cMan, it doesn\u2019t look as good as hers; I\u2019m going to be discontent,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> okay.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But if I\u2019m looking at Jesus, and going, \u201cWait, I\u2019m not like Him yet,\u201d so there\u2019s some level of discontent that I\u2019m not who I ought to be\u2014even as a faithful follower of Christ\/even as somebody, who\u2019s not in open rebellion or knowingly violating some Scripture\u2014I\u2019m trying to live a faithful life, but I\u2019m still so far from who I ought to be. Should I be happy with who I am or should I be discontented [that I\u2019m not] who I ought to be?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think Paul tells us the verse that we all know well\u2014it was on the back of my letter jacket when I was in high school, and I didn\u2019t even love Jesus so there\u2019s that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Philippians 4:13: \u201cI can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.\u201d That\u2019s this verse that we\u2019re like, \u201cYes, I can do it all! I\u2019m good! I can do it!\u201d We see athletes\u2014I mean, it\u2019s just\u2014we like it.\n\nBut what we <em>forget<\/em> is that Paul wrote this from prison; and the verses before that were saying, \u201cI know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, and abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.\u201d Paul is saying, \u201cHow do we fight discontentment?\u2014it\u2019s because I can fight that because of Jesus.\u201d [Paraphrase]\n\nOn this side of heaven, I don\u2019t think that we\u2019re ever going to be fully content in who we are: because we\u2019re broken; we have sin; there\u2019s evil in this world that we have to fight against\/there are forces at play here that are bigger than what we see in the flesh.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> We are not <em>content<\/em> here because it\u2019s not our <em>home.<\/em> But can we know how to do things in need and abundance?\u2014and how to be brought low and how to abound?\u2014yes, we can. Paul tells us: \u201cBecause in all those things, I can only do it through the strength of Jesus.\u201d [Paraphrase]\n\nCan I be content in hard situations on my own?\u2014no\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014only with Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a hymn we sing at church, from time to time, that includes the lyrics: \u201cTwo wonders here that I confess, my worth and my unworthiness.\u201d I remember singing that for the first time and going, \u201cThat\u2019s profound.\u201d My worth: I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I am created in the image of God; I am accepted in the beloved; I can go through all the things that declare my worth.\n\nThen my unworthiness: I\u2019m not worthy of any of the blessing I\u2019ve received. Like Paul in Romans 7, there are things I hate I end up doing: \u201cO wretched man that I am.\u201d There ought to be, simultaneously, in us\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014both, and\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI am in Christ; and I am accepted in the beloved, and God rejoices over me for who I am today; yet, He is not satisfied to leave me who I am today.\u201d\n\nMatt Chandler would often say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay not to be okay. It\u2019s not okay to stay there.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, when we talk about, \u201cYou be you,\u201d\u2014which is what you\u2019re talking about in this book\u2014the whole last third is about who you are becoming. That <em>becoming <\/em>is the ongoing trajectory of our life, where we never sit down and say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m here.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve arrived.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s my continual prayer\u2014is: \u201cLord, I want to fulfill everything You put in me. I want to use <em>all<\/em> of my gifts. I want to be free.\u201d When Jesus said, \u201cIf the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,\u201d\u2014in John 8\u2014I know that He wasn\u2019t saying, \u201cOh, Ann, you\u2019re going to be free.\u201d I mean, I want to be <em>free<\/em> and not <em>shackled<\/em> by lies, or my past, or the pain that I\u2019ve gone through; because He <em>has<\/em> renewed me; He <em>has<\/em> redeemed me. I am a <em>child<\/em> of the King.\n\nI see so many women <em>stuck<\/em> and not fulfilling what God called them to do\u2014even if it\u2019s just being a mom\u2014that they\u2019re satisfied and content in: \u201cThis is what He\u2019s called me to do, and this is success.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie<\/strong>: Yes, and I think that we\u2019re on that journey\u2014it\u2019s a big word\u2014but sanctification is that, through the Holy Spirit\u2019s work in our life, that we\u2019re continuing to <em>look more like Jesus<\/em> every single day. That should be our desire.\n\nThat was the whole point of: \u201cI don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming; I\u2019m not becoming more like Jesus. I\u2019m just <em>working<\/em> for Him.\u201d There\u2019s nothing wrong with being in Christian ministry; everyone at this table is. We want to work to see more people know Jesus; but at the end of the day, am I being sanctified to look more like Him? I have to wake up every day and say, \u201cGod, that\u2019s what I want.\u201d Listen, God\u2019s going to do that in different ways; but we have to be proactive in that, as well, in our lives.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying, \u201cThat\u2019s success,\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It is success.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s the definition.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes! We cannot continually look around and think, \u201cI\u2019m not successful, because I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have what they have.\u201d\n\nThis is not a woman thing; this is an <em>everybody<\/em> thing; this is a middle school thing\u2014this is everybody looking, and going: \u201c<em>They\u2019re<\/em> good; I\u2019m bad,\u201d \u201c<em>They\u2019re<\/em> successful; I\u2019m a failure.\u201d Instead, going, \u201cGod, what have You asked <em>me<\/em> to do today in <em>my<\/em> life?\u2014in <em>my<\/em> community\u2014where You\u2019ve planted me in my church. I\u2019m going to serve you <em>here<\/em>.\u201d It\u2019s going to look different, and that\u2019s okay.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You also say, toward the end of your book\u2014you talk about soul care and community care\u2014it\u2019s like you got to have somebody you\u2019re telling these struggles to besides God\u2014not underestimating the power of prayer, and talking to God, and being honest\u2014but what other women know for women\u2014because I\u2019ve done what you said before, Jamie. I\u2019ve walked off a stage after a sermon and thought, \u201cI was faithful,\u201d and \u201cThat\u2019s success.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Then an hour later\u2014or a <em>comment<\/em> later, that didn\u2019t like what I said\/that didn\u2019t think it was a 10; it was a 9.8 even\u2014you go from, \u201cI was faithful,\u201d to \u201cIt wasn\u2019t good enough.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Success becomes: \u201cDid they like it?\u201d or I pop up somebody else online\u2014everybody in my congregation is not just going, \u201cYou\u2019re great, Dave; they\u2019re going, \u201cYou\u2019re not as good as that guy,\u201d\u2014it goes back to success. If I hold that just to myself and I never tell Bob or a friend, and go, \u201cDude, I\u2019m struggling right now.\u201d And they go, \u201cDude, you\u2019re being <em>faithful<\/em>.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You talk about soul care, but you also talk about community care.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I went through an intense discipleship in my church in 2011. Those girls that I went through that with\u2014they are the girls that I can say <em>anything<\/em> to. I mean, I could look across the table and say, \u201cI haven\u2019t read my Bible since December 31 of 2015,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not true, guys\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but they would <em>love<\/em> me, and they would counsel me, and they would point me to Jesus, and they would tell me what it true.\n\nI was listening to a podcast the other day. There was a man on there, who was talking about our digital age, and how we are so consumed with it. He said, \u201cWhen is the last time you sat around a bonfire, or you sat with a friend, and you told the secrets?\u201d He didn\u2019t mean secrets as in like gossip\u2014[but] like the stuff you don\u2019t want to say out loud\/the secrets of your soul\u2014he said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to have the person you tell the secrets to.\u201d\n\nI was just\u2014it hit me so hard\u2014I had just had lunch with a friend the day before. I had just cried to her and told her some hard things that were going on in my life. I sent her a message and I just said, \u201cThank you for being someone I can tell the secrets to. You have no idea what that means to me. I can tell you the secrets, and you love me, and you push me to keep going; you push me to faithfulness. You do all those things.\u201d\n\nI say that we will, as Christ-followers, get to the end of this world, still following Him, because of His Word, the Holy Spirit, and our people. That\u2019s how we\u2019re going to make it. I can\u2019t make it to the end if I don\u2019t have those secret holders\/the people that I can be real with. If someone is listening\u2014and they do fulltime ministry, and they\u2019re in front of people\u2014I\u2019m going to say, that is\/it\u2019s imperative that you have a secret person; because you can\u2019t survive public ministry without it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always said, \u201cAs a woman, I need a woman ahead of me, beside me, and behind me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I need someone that\u2019s older than me or, at least, more spiritually mature that I can go to when I need insight\/when I can\u2019t figure something out. I need my peer, who\u2019s walking beside me in everything; and then I need to be pouring into someone.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> So good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I let my friend in on a secret that I had; I had said, \u201cSometimes, when I speak, I\u2019m so attacked by the enemy when I\u2019m done, that I go into hiding.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m in my house, and I\u2019m just being <em>battered<\/em> by Satan\u2019s lies. I had gotten done speaking\u2014I had revealed a lot of abuse that I had been through\u2014and I felt <em>incredible<\/em> remorse, like, \u201cWhy did I share that? People probably think I\u2019m this, this, and that.\u201d\n\nMy friend calls me; I don\u2019t answer the phone. She texts me; I don\u2019t answer the text. [Laughter] Then she leaves a message; she says, \u201cI know that you\u2019re <em>hiding<\/em>, because you told me this is what you do.\u201d I don\u2019t answer it. Two days later, she comes to my house. She\u2019s knocking on the door and said, \u201cCome out of hiding! I know you\u2019re in there!\u201d [Laughter] I didn\u2019t want to answer it; I just wanted to <em>wallow<\/em> in it. I open the door. It was the worst and the best thing that I did to tell her that; because she <em>brought<\/em> me out, and she said, \u201cI need to tell you the <em>truth<\/em> of what you\u2019ve been listening to\u2014that you\u2019re hearing Satan\u2019s lies.\u201d\n\nI didn\u2019t even tell <em>Dave<\/em> all of that.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m hearing about it right now. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Honestly, but I\u2019ve said on here before, there\u2019s two ways to live: conceal; reveal. Conceal equals death; reveal equals life\u2014it\u2019s biblical\u2014if you keep it in the dark, the dark wins. If you have the faith to tell a trusted friend, including God, you are going to step toward life.\n\nI would say to the listener right now, \u201cYou\u2019ve got a secret. I think God\u2019s saying, \u2018Today\u2019s the day.\u2019\u201d If you don\u2019t have a friend, you\u2019ve got to find one; and don\u2019t blame: \u201cNobody cares about me.\u201d It\u2019s on you; go find that friend. I bet God\u2019s already brought you one. Tell them the secret, and you\u2019re going to start to step toward healing.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is such good counsel.\n\nWe started with me talking about my fear that Mary Ann was going to change after we got married. She did, and I did. What I didn\u2019t consider that day is that she would change for the better.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She\u2019s saying the same thing about you, Bob.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That in Christ, if we\u2019re pursuing Christ, she\u2019s better than I could have imagined who I was marrying on that day\u2014that\u2019s the point\u2014it\u2019s almost like the subtitle of your book, <em>You Be You<\/em>, should be <em>You Be You: But Don\u2019t Stop There<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cKeep going.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cBe the you God made you to be.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to add this; because I know somebody\u2019s listening, and they\u2019re going, \u201cYes, but my wife didn\u2019t change for the better,\u201d \u201cMy husband didn\u2019t change,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what we do\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014we go right there. You know what?\u2014it\u2019s not about your spouse; it\u2019s about <em>you<\/em>. Are you changing?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cYou be you the better you [that] you can be.\u201d\n\nJamie, thanks for the book. Thanks for the conversation; this has been so good.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I hope listeners, who have not yet tuned in to your podcast, will start tuning in. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com to find a link to Jamie\u2019s weekly podcast called <em>The Happy Hour<\/em>.\n\nYou can also get a copy of Jamie\u2019s book. In fact, we\u2019re making it available this week to those of you who can help support the ongoing ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If you\u2019d like to invest in the marriages and families of people in your community, who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and people who are listening all around the world, finding practical biblical help and hope as they tune in, you can make that investment today and request a copy of Jamie\u2019s book as our thank-you gift.\n\nHer book, again, is called <em>You Be You<\/em>. We\u2019re happy to send you a copy when you make an online donation at FamilyLife Today.com or when you call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We are <em>grateful<\/em> for your partnership with us and your support of this ministry; and we hope you enjoy Jamie\u2019s book, <em>You Be You<\/em>.\n\nWe\u2019ve had a lot of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who\u2019ve been wondering, \u201cWhen is the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> going to start back up again?\u201d We do have plans for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways happening this spring. Of course, all of that is fluid, based on what\u2019s going on with the pandemic; but we\u2019re hoping to have some of these events later this spring.\n\nIn the meantime, our team has been working to develop a resource that is designed to help couples continue to have meaningful interaction with one another, even when you can\u2019t get out for a weekend away. We\u2019re developing something called the <em>Dates to Remember <\/em>date box. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife is here with us. David, share with our listeners a little bit about the purpose for this date box.\n\n<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; it goes back to a few months ago, when our team was embracing, \u201cOkay; we look forward to getting the <em>Weekends to Remember<\/em> up and running again as soon as possible, but we\u2019re embracing that\u2019s going to be a little longer than we were hoping.\u201d Our team said, \u201cThe magic of a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is that time together over timeless truth, where you look each other in the eye, and you have conversations that were prompted that you probably otherwise wouldn\u2019t have.\u201d\n\nThat is what our team has created with this date box. You get it in the mail; you unpack three unique moments that form and craft conversations that you probably would be having, and it\u2019s done in a creative and fun way. Our whole goal is to certainly frame up some timeless truth that encourages you, but really gets you really looking at one another\u2019s eyes, talking about intentional things in this very unique season.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you\u2019d like more information, we\u2019re going to be talking about this more in the days ahead; but you can find out more about the <em>Dates to Remember<\/em> date box when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\nDavid, thank you for that.\n\nI want to encourage our listeners to be with us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to acknowledge the fact that this Sunday is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and talk about the value, and worth, and dignity of every human life, beginning at the moment of conception. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Bruce Goff, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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I good enough? On FamilyLife Today, hosts Dave and Ann Wilson join author Jamie Ivey to discuss the balance between who we are and who we're becoming in Christ.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Author and podcaster, Jamie Ivy, say\u2019s all of us go through seasons in life where we\u2019re trying to figure out who we are and what we\u2019re supposed to do. She says that season can go on for a long, long, long, long time.\n\n<strong>Jamie: <\/strong>The same question that people are asked in their 20s\u2014I think that for us, who are 40 and above\u2014we can look at the 20-year-olds and be like, \u201cOh, you\u2019re just trying to figure out who you are.\u201d Then we\u2019re like, \u201cSo are we; we\u2019re still trying to do this as well.\u201d I don\u2019t think it\u2019s like you ever show up and you\u2019re like, \u201cI know <em>exactly<\/em> what I\u2019m supposed to be doing.\u201d We\u2019re on this journey all the time of figuring out: \u201cWhat has God asked me to do today?\u201d \u201c\u2026and then tomorrow?\u201d \u201c\u2026and the next day?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. The journey of self-discovery is an essential first step as we figure out how we can best accomplish God\u2019s assignment for our lives. We\u2019ll talk more about that with Jamie Ivey today. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I remember the day that Mary Ann and I got married.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I hope you remember that. [Laughter] That\u2019s a pretty big deal.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have some distinct memories of that day. One of those is that the pants of my tuxedo split right before the wedding ceremony.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019ve never told us this.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know; that\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Were you doing like the splits back there or what?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I bent over or something, and all of a sudden, I heard this rip. [Laughter] We had to get that fixed quickly. Then it was all covered up; it was good. But I also remember, being back in the back, 30 minutes to the wedding, and thinking to myself, \u201cWhat if she changes? I\u2019m about to pledge my life: \u2018\u2026till death do us part,\u2019 to somebody who might change a year from now. What do I do?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014might change?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> See, that\u2019s what I was thinking is: \u201cWhat do I do if she\u2019s a different person a year from now?\u201d There was a song on the radio\u2014this is a terrible song\u2014but it was on the radio when I was getting married: \u201cIt\u2019s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ooh!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat if the <em>right<\/em> one comes along, three years from now, and she\u2019s changed? How does anybody do this?\u201d That\u2019s what I was thinking.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Have you told Mary Ann about this?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She knows all about this.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was like God said, \u201cShe\u2019s going to change; you\u2019re going to change. I\u2019m still God; I got this,\u201d\u2014right? \u2014\u201cWe\u2019re going to get through this.\u201d\n\nI was thinking about that in the context of what we\u2019ve been talking about this week, because we\u2019ve got Jamie Ivey joining us this week. Jamie, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thanks, guys.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie is a podcaster, an author, a speaker, a mom, a wife. Her husband, Aaron, is a worship leader at Austin Stone in Austin. They\u2019ve got four kids\u2014one bio\/three adopted\u2014right?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk in your new book, which is called <em>You Be You<\/em>, you talk about learning to embrace who God made you to be. But there\u2019s a part of the book that says: \u201cBut don\u2019t just settle for who you are. God doesn\u2019t want you to just stay who you are. He wants you to be someone more than you are.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes. I had a conversation with a friend a couple of years ago; she was talking to me. She works at a church; she worked in ministry\u2014she was a phenomenal writer\u2014material for women. From what I could see, she was just killing it. I had a conversation with her, and she told me she was quitting. I was like, \u201cYou\u2019re quitting?\u201d She said, \u201cI looked in the mirror recently and I don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming.\u201d I was so taken aback by that; because from what I could see, she was doing all the right things. She was doing so much for the kingdom, benefitting so many people; and she said, \u201cI don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming.\u201d\n\nThat really\u2014it hit me and it struck me\u2014because I thought, \u201cHow many times in our life are we doing so much\u2014and we\u2019re doing and we\u2019re doing\u2014and then we look in the mirror and go, \u2018Wow; I don\u2019t even know who I am anymore. Who am I becoming?\u2019\u201d It made me think, \u201cI want to spend the rest of my life becoming more like Jesus.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Hopefully, Mary Ann changed; because she was becoming more like Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> But there is this sense of, as people who work in Christian ministry, and we do things <em>\u201cfor God<\/em>\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what we do\u2014but waking up one day and going, \u201cMan, do I love like the attention, and my job, and the success?\u201d\u2014or whatever it might be\u2014\u201cOr do I really love God?\u201d\u2014just saying, \u201cI want to know You more.\u201d That changes who we are becoming when we have this idea of: \u201cI want to become more like You, at the end of the day, no matter what.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s interesting\u2014what you\u2019re talking about, Jamie\u2014I was in a meeting this past week. A guy was up, talking about his vision for the future. I remember sitting there, going, \u201cI don\u2019t know the last time I felt like somebody\u2014a preacher, a minister, a fulltime Christian worker\u2014was leading, and it was so apparent it was an overflow of his walk with God. I was sitting there, watching this young man do this; I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s rare.\u201d It shouldn\u2019t be rare, because that\u2019s\u2014and you talk about it in your book\u2014like, \u201cWhat is success as a follower of Christ?\u201d Talk about that.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, you probably thought, \u201cI\u2019ll follow you wherever, because this is amazing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, you want to.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Talking about success\u2014just a couple of weeks ago at our church\u2014a pastor was preaching, and he was going through The Beatitudes. He said, \u201cBlessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.\u201d I\u2019ve heard sermons on all of those: \u201cBlessed are the ones\u2026\u201d This hit me; because he said, \u201cWhat do you hunger and thirst for every day?\u201d\n\nI thought, \u201cIf we had to write a list, it\u2019s not going to be pretty some days.\u201d It just hit me, like, \u201cDo I hunger and thirst for righteousness more than success, or fame, or friendships, or love, or good kids?\u201d\u2014or fill in the blank. I\u2019ve thought a lot about that in the past couple of years with this idea of success. I think sometimes, in Christian circles among women in particular, success feels like a super scary word: \u201cAm I allowed to be successful?\u201d \u201cWhat does successful actually mean?\u201d \u201cIs this okay if I\u2019m successful?\u201d \u201cAm I prideful? Am I full of myself?\u201d\u2014all the things.\n\nI specifically put that word on the front of my book in the subtitle, because I wanted to take some of this scariness away from it; because here\u2019s what God showed me in the past couple of years: \u201cSuccess is good, but I need to re-evaluate my idea of success\u201d; because the world\u2019s standards of success\u2014it\u2019s like a moving target\u2014it\u2019s constantly changing: \u201cYou\u2019re successful in your career if you hit this.\u201d Then you hit it; and you\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019m amazing!\u201d Then they say, \u201cThat\u2019s actually not the best thing anymore,\u201d so you now have three more levels to meet or whatever your career might be.\n\nI\u2019ve decided: \u201cI want to be faithful. I think that when we\u2019re faithful with what God asked us to do, no matter the world\u2019s standards of success, God looks at us and says, \u2018You\u2019re successful right where you are. That\u2019s what I asked you to do.\u2019\u201d A particular example that I, often, think of is\u2014I\u2019ve been podcasting for six-and-a-half years. About four years ago, the platform that hosts my podcast, where you would find out how many people listen to your show, they emailed and said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been measuring this all wrong. You had \u201cx\u201d number of people listening; now, it\u2019s this\u2026\u201d\u2014for my particular show, it was <em>half<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I wake up that day and I think I\u2019m a successful podcaster; by the end of the day, \u201cI\u2019m a failure; I need to quit. I am the worst person that\u2019s ever lived. Why do I even have a job? I\u2019m not recording anymore shows.\u201d [Laughter] Okay, I can be dramatic too.\n\nDo you see what I\u2019m saying?\u2014is that idea of success\u2014I thought I had it. With one email, all of a sudden, I\u2019m a failure. Over the next couple of days, after I moaned and groaned to my husband, Aaron\u2014and he politely listened and pointed me back to the gospel all the time\u2014but I had this moment, where I thought, \u201cI didn\u2019t change anything about my show from the day before to the day after that email; nothing changed. <em>My mission<\/em> is still the same; my show is still the same: when I create a show, I need it to be encouraging, inspiring and point people to Jesus.\u201d\n\nThat email changed <em>nothing<\/em> about my faithfulness to what God asked me to do. That was good for me. Because numbers matter in work\u2014let\u2019s not be dumb here\u2014people have jobs; you\u2019ve got to get paychecks; you\u2019ve got to make quota\u2014all the things. Numbers still matter in my job, but I\u2019m not consumed by it; because I know, if I\u2019m going to be faithful to what God asked me to do, I\u2019m going to be successful.\n\nYou can translate that to anything. If you think, \u201cOkay, a successful mom is one, who her kids always obey the first time; they always say, \u2018Yes, ma\u2019am,\u2019 \u2018No, ma\u2019am.\u2019 Then they grow up, and they\u2019re in ministry, and they change the world.\u201d But what if that doesn\u2019t happen?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWhat if my child\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cchooses to walk away from the faith?\u201d or\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cWhat if they become an addict?\u201d or \u201cWhat if\u2026\u201d Am I now a <em>failure<\/em> as a mom? I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> a failure if I was faithful, every day, to love my kids the way God asked me to love them.\n\nOr if you\u2019re thinking, like a woman: \u201cIf I\u2019m a successful woman, then I\u2019m like \u2018Woman of the Year\u2019 in my community. We have a party at the end of the year; they\u2019re like, \u2018You\u2019re the best woman that this community\u2019s ever seen,\u2019\u201d\u2014if that\u2019s success, then good luck; because that just doesn\u2019t happen. [Laughter] But faithfulness would be: \u201cI\u2019m going to love the community that God\u2019s put me in.\u201d It was this readjustment for me that brought me so much satisfaction and so much freedom to do exactly what God had asked me to do, even if looks different than what she\u2019s [another woman\u2019s] doing.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s my question, as we think about who you are, and who you are becoming: \u201cShould a person be content in who they are and who God made them to be?\u201d or \u201cShould they be discontented\u2014holy discontented; \u201cH\u201d \u201cO\u201d \u201cL\u201d \u201cY\u201d discontented\u2014that they are not who they ought to be?\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think that, if you are not living the way God wants you to live\u2014like you\u2019re living in sin, and you\u2019re throwing out the opportunities that He\u2019s giving you\/the places He\u2019s put you\u2014that\u2019s a story, where you can have some discipleship come in and some mentorship to maybe get you back on track.\n\nBut if you\u2019re just looking at your life, and going, \u201cMan, it doesn\u2019t look as good as hers; I\u2019m going to be discontent,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> okay.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But if I\u2019m looking at Jesus, and going, \u201cWait, I\u2019m not like Him yet,\u201d so there\u2019s some level of discontent that I\u2019m not who I ought to be\u2014even as a faithful follower of Christ\/even as somebody, who\u2019s not in open rebellion or knowingly violating some Scripture\u2014I\u2019m trying to live a faithful life, but I\u2019m still so far from who I ought to be. Should I be happy with who I am or should I be discontented [that I\u2019m not] who I ought to be?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think Paul tells us the verse that we all know well\u2014it was on the back of my letter jacket when I was in high school, and I didn\u2019t even love Jesus so there\u2019s that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Philippians 4:13: \u201cI can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.\u201d That\u2019s this verse that we\u2019re like, \u201cYes, I can do it all! I\u2019m good! I can do it!\u201d We see athletes\u2014I mean, it\u2019s just\u2014we like it.\n\nBut what we <em>forget<\/em> is that Paul wrote this from prison; and the verses before that were saying, \u201cI know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, and abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.\u201d Paul is saying, \u201cHow do we fight discontentment?\u2014it\u2019s because I can fight that because of Jesus.\u201d [Paraphrase]\n\nOn this side of heaven, I don\u2019t think that we\u2019re ever going to be fully content in who we are: because we\u2019re broken; we have sin; there\u2019s evil in this world that we have to fight against\/there are forces at play here that are bigger than what we see in the flesh.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> We are not <em>content<\/em> here because it\u2019s not our <em>home.<\/em> But can we know how to do things in need and abundance?\u2014and how to be brought low and how to abound?\u2014yes, we can. Paul tells us: \u201cBecause in all those things, I can only do it through the strength of Jesus.\u201d [Paraphrase]\n\nCan I be content in hard situations on my own?\u2014no\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014only with Jesus.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a hymn we sing at church, from time to time, that includes the lyrics: \u201cTwo wonders here that I confess, my worth and my unworthiness.\u201d I remember singing that for the first time and going, \u201cThat\u2019s profound.\u201d My worth: I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I am created in the image of God; I am accepted in the beloved; I can go through all the things that declare my worth.\n\nThen my unworthiness: I\u2019m not worthy of any of the blessing I\u2019ve received. Like Paul in Romans 7, there are things I hate I end up doing: \u201cO wretched man that I am.\u201d There ought to be, simultaneously, in us\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014both, and\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI am in Christ; and I am accepted in the beloved, and God rejoices over me for who I am today; yet, He is not satisfied to leave me who I am today.\u201d\n\nMatt Chandler would often say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay not to be okay. It\u2019s not okay to stay there.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, when we talk about, \u201cYou be you,\u201d\u2014which is what you\u2019re talking about in this book\u2014the whole last third is about who you are becoming. That <em>becoming <\/em>is the ongoing trajectory of our life, where we never sit down and say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m here.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve arrived.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s my continual prayer\u2014is: \u201cLord, I want to fulfill everything You put in me. I want to use <em>all<\/em> of my gifts. I want to be free.\u201d When Jesus said, \u201cIf the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,\u201d\u2014in John 8\u2014I know that He wasn\u2019t saying, \u201cOh, Ann, you\u2019re going to be free.\u201d I mean, I want to be <em>free<\/em> and not <em>shackled<\/em> by lies, or my past, or the pain that I\u2019ve gone through; because He <em>has<\/em> renewed me; He <em>has<\/em> redeemed me. I am a <em>child<\/em> of the King.\n\nI see so many women <em>stuck<\/em> and not fulfilling what God called them to do\u2014even if it\u2019s just being a mom\u2014that they\u2019re satisfied and content in: \u201cThis is what He\u2019s called me to do, and this is success.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie<\/strong>: Yes, and I think that we\u2019re on that journey\u2014it\u2019s a big word\u2014but sanctification is that, through the Holy Spirit\u2019s work in our life, that we\u2019re continuing to <em>look more like Jesus<\/em> every single day. That should be our desire.\n\nThat was the whole point of: \u201cI don\u2019t like who I\u2019m becoming; I\u2019m not becoming more like Jesus. I\u2019m just <em>working<\/em> for Him.\u201d There\u2019s nothing wrong with being in Christian ministry; everyone at this table is. We want to work to see more people know Jesus; but at the end of the day, am I being sanctified to look more like Him? I have to wake up every day and say, \u201cGod, that\u2019s what I want.\u201d Listen, God\u2019s going to do that in different ways; but we have to be proactive in that, as well, in our lives.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying, \u201cThat\u2019s success,\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It is success.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s the definition.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes! We cannot continually look around and think, \u201cI\u2019m not successful, because I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have what they have.\u201d\n\nThis is not a woman thing; this is an <em>everybody<\/em> thing; this is a middle school thing\u2014this is everybody looking, and going: \u201c<em>They\u2019re<\/em> good; I\u2019m bad,\u201d \u201c<em>They\u2019re<\/em> successful; I\u2019m a failure.\u201d Instead, going, \u201cGod, what have You asked <em>me<\/em> to do today in <em>my<\/em> life?\u2014in <em>my<\/em> community\u2014where You\u2019ve planted me in my church. I\u2019m going to serve you <em>here<\/em>.\u201d It\u2019s going to look different, and that\u2019s okay.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You also say, toward the end of your book\u2014you talk about soul care and community care\u2014it\u2019s like you got to have somebody you\u2019re telling these struggles to besides God\u2014not underestimating the power of prayer, and talking to God, and being honest\u2014but what other women know for women\u2014because I\u2019ve done what you said before, Jamie. I\u2019ve walked off a stage after a sermon and thought, \u201cI was faithful,\u201d and \u201cThat\u2019s success.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Then an hour later\u2014or a <em>comment<\/em> later, that didn\u2019t like what I said\/that didn\u2019t think it was a 10; it was a 9.8 even\u2014you go from, \u201cI was faithful,\u201d to \u201cIt wasn\u2019t good enough.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Success becomes: \u201cDid they like it?\u201d or I pop up somebody else online\u2014everybody in my congregation is not just going, \u201cYou\u2019re great, Dave; they\u2019re going, \u201cYou\u2019re not as good as that guy,\u201d\u2014it goes back to success. If I hold that just to myself and I never tell Bob or a friend, and go, \u201cDude, I\u2019m struggling right now.\u201d And they go, \u201cDude, you\u2019re being <em>faithful<\/em>.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You talk about soul care, but you also talk about community care.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I went through an intense discipleship in my church in 2011. Those girls that I went through that with\u2014they are the girls that I can say <em>anything<\/em> to. I mean, I could look across the table and say, \u201cI haven\u2019t read my Bible since December 31 of 2015,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not true, guys\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but they would <em>love<\/em> me, and they would counsel me, and they would point me to Jesus, and they would tell me what it true.\n\nI was listening to a podcast the other day. There was a man on there, who was talking about our digital age, and how we are so consumed with it. He said, \u201cWhen is the last time you sat around a bonfire, or you sat with a friend, and you told the secrets?\u201d He didn\u2019t mean secrets as in like gossip\u2014[but] like the stuff you don\u2019t want to say out loud\/the secrets of your soul\u2014he said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to have the person you tell the secrets to.\u201d\n\nI was just\u2014it hit me so hard\u2014I had just had lunch with a friend the day before. I had just cried to her and told her some hard things that were going on in my life. I sent her a message and I just said, \u201cThank you for being someone I can tell the secrets to. You have no idea what that means to me. I can tell you the secrets, and you love me, and you push me to keep going; you push me to faithfulness. You do all those things.\u201d\n\nI say that we will, as Christ-followers, get to the end of this world, still following Him, because of His Word, the Holy Spirit, and our people. That\u2019s how we\u2019re going to make it. I can\u2019t make it to the end if I don\u2019t have those secret holders\/the people that I can be real with. If someone is listening\u2014and they do fulltime ministry, and they\u2019re in front of people\u2014I\u2019m going to say, that is\/it\u2019s imperative that you have a secret person; because you can\u2019t survive public ministry without it.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always said, \u201cAs a woman, I need a woman ahead of me, beside me, and behind me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I need someone that\u2019s older than me or, at least, more spiritually mature that I can go to when I need insight\/when I can\u2019t figure something out. I need my peer, who\u2019s walking beside me in everything; and then I need to be pouring into someone.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> So good.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I let my friend in on a secret that I had; I had said, \u201cSometimes, when I speak, I\u2019m so attacked by the enemy when I\u2019m done, that I go into hiding.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m in my house, and I\u2019m just being <em>battered<\/em> by Satan\u2019s lies. I had gotten done speaking\u2014I had revealed a lot of abuse that I had been through\u2014and I felt <em>incredible<\/em> remorse, like, \u201cWhy did I share that? People probably think I\u2019m this, this, and that.\u201d\n\nMy friend calls me; I don\u2019t answer the phone. She texts me; I don\u2019t answer the text. [Laughter] Then she leaves a message; she says, \u201cI know that you\u2019re <em>hiding<\/em>, because you told me this is what you do.\u201d I don\u2019t answer it. Two days later, she comes to my house. She\u2019s knocking on the door and said, \u201cCome out of hiding! I know you\u2019re in there!\u201d [Laughter] I didn\u2019t want to answer it; I just wanted to <em>wallow<\/em> in it. I open the door. It was the worst and the best thing that I did to tell her that; because she <em>brought<\/em> me out, and she said, \u201cI need to tell you the <em>truth<\/em> of what you\u2019ve been listening to\u2014that you\u2019re hearing Satan\u2019s lies.\u201d\n\nI didn\u2019t even tell <em>Dave<\/em> all of that.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m hearing about it right now. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Honestly, but I\u2019ve said on here before, there\u2019s two ways to live: conceal; reveal. Conceal equals death; reveal equals life\u2014it\u2019s biblical\u2014if you keep it in the dark, the dark wins. If you have the faith to tell a trusted friend, including God, you are going to step toward life.\n\nI would say to the listener right now, \u201cYou\u2019ve got a secret. I think God\u2019s saying, \u2018Today\u2019s the day.\u2019\u201d If you don\u2019t have a friend, you\u2019ve got to find one; and don\u2019t blame: \u201cNobody cares about me.\u201d It\u2019s on you; go find that friend. I bet God\u2019s already brought you one. Tell them the secret, and you\u2019re going to start to step toward healing.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is such good counsel.\n\nWe started with me talking about my fear that Mary Ann was going to change after we got married. She did, and I did. What I didn\u2019t consider that day is that she would change for the better.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She\u2019s saying the same thing about you, Bob.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That in Christ, if we\u2019re pursuing Christ, she\u2019s better than I could have imagined who I was marrying on that day\u2014that\u2019s the point\u2014it\u2019s almost like the subtitle of your book, <em>You Be You<\/em>, should be <em>You Be You: But Don\u2019t Stop There<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cKeep going.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cBe the you God made you to be.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to add this; because I know somebody\u2019s listening, and they\u2019re going, \u201cYes, but my wife didn\u2019t change for the better,\u201d \u201cMy husband didn\u2019t change,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what we do\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014we go right there. You know what?\u2014it\u2019s not about your spouse; it\u2019s about <em>you<\/em>. Are you changing?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cYou be you the better you [that] you can be.\u201d\n\nJamie, thanks for the book. Thanks for the conversation; this has been so good.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I hope listeners, who have not yet tuned in to your podcast, will start tuning in. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com to find a link to Jamie\u2019s weekly podcast called <em>The Happy Hour<\/em>.\n\nYou can also get a copy of Jamie\u2019s book. In fact, we\u2019re making it available this week to those of you who can help support the ongoing ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If you\u2019d like to invest in the marriages and families of people in your community, who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and people who are listening all around the world, finding practical biblical help and hope as they tune in, you can make that investment today and request a copy of Jamie\u2019s book as our thank-you gift.\n\nHer book, again, is called <em>You Be You<\/em>. We\u2019re happy to send you a copy when you make an online donation at FamilyLife Today.com or when you call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We are <em>grateful<\/em> for your partnership with us and your support of this ministry; and we hope you enjoy Jamie\u2019s book, <em>You Be You<\/em>.\n\nWe\u2019ve had a lot of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who\u2019ve been wondering, \u201cWhen is the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> going to start back up again?\u201d We do have plans for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways happening this spring. Of course, all of that is fluid, based on what\u2019s going on with the pandemic; but we\u2019re hoping to have some of these events later this spring.\n\nIn the meantime, our team has been working to develop a resource that is designed to help couples continue to have meaningful interaction with one another, even when you can\u2019t get out for a weekend away. We\u2019re developing something called the <em>Dates to Remember <\/em>date box. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife is here with us. David, share with our listeners a little bit about the purpose for this date box.\n\n<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; it goes back to a few months ago, when our team was embracing, \u201cOkay; we look forward to getting the <em>Weekends to Remember<\/em> up and running again as soon as possible, but we\u2019re embracing that\u2019s going to be a little longer than we were hoping.\u201d Our team said, \u201cThe magic of a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is that time together over timeless truth, where you look each other in the eye, and you have conversations that were prompted that you probably otherwise wouldn\u2019t have.\u201d\n\nThat is what our team has created with this date box. You get it in the mail; you unpack three unique moments that form and craft conversations that you probably would be having, and it\u2019s done in a creative and fun way. Our whole goal is to certainly frame up some timeless truth that encourages you, but really gets you really looking at one another\u2019s eyes, talking about intentional things in this very unique season.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you\u2019d like more information, we\u2019re going to be talking about this more in the days ahead; but you can find out more about the <em>Dates to Remember<\/em> date box when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\nDavid, thank you for that.\n\nI want to encourage our listeners to be with us, again, tomorrow when we\u2019re going to acknowledge the fact that this Sunday is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and talk about the value, and worth, and dignity of every human life, beginning at the moment of conception. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Bruce Goff, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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