{"id":306687,"date":"2021-01-19T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-01-19T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/measuring-up\/"},"modified":"2021-01-19T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2021-01-19T12:00:05","slug":"measuring-up","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/measuring-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Measuring Up"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others? Join hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on FamilyLife Today as they talk with author and podcaster Jamie Ivey about seeing yourself as God&#8217;s masterpiece.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tVisit JamieIvey.com for more from Jamie and link to her podcast.\u00a0 http:\/\/jamieivey.com\/<br \/>\n \tDownload FamilyLife&#8217;s new app! https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others? Author and podcaster Jamie Ivey talks about seeing yourself as God&#8217;s masterpiece.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:38","filesize":"23.47M","filesize_raw":"24612489","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2853,2838,2831,2093],"tags":[6968],"podcast_series":[8422],"cwp_profile":[9920],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306687","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-frazzled-family","category-mothers","category-wives","category-women","tag-purpose-in-life","podcast_series-you-be-you","cwp_profile-jamie-ivey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306687\/measuring-up","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306687\/measuring-up","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BjlkfF0nVL\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/measuring-up\/\">Measuring Up<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/measuring-up\/embed\/#?secret=BjlkfF0nVL\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Measuring Up&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BjlkfF0nVL\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of the reason so many people today are discontented with their lives is because of the culture of comparison we live in. Here\u2019s author and podcaster, Jamie Ivey.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There\u2019s an opportunity for you to get online on your phone\u2014Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, whatever it is that you\u2019re looking at\u2014and compare yourself to a woman that you\u2019ve never met, but you follow her every move. You live in Austin, and she lives in Norway! Do you know what I mean? There\u2019s this connection that\u2019s false; and then we will find ourselves comparing ourselves to it: \u201cYes, it\u2019s worse [the comparison].\u201d I think that means, if it\u2019s worse, then we need to know how to fight it more.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How can we fight against the culture of comparison and cultivate hearts that are at peace and contented? We\u2019ll talk about that today with Jamie Ivey. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I wonder, \u201cIf we had a scale of 1-10\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, boy! Scales of 1-10.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwith listeners: 10 being positive; 1 being negative; okay?\u2014and I said, \u2018Where would you put yourself on how you feel about yourself?\u2019\u201410 being, \u2018I like who I am today,\u2019\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I want to ask you, Bob. Forget us! What\u2019s your number?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have always been relatively content with who I am and who God made me to be; I\u2019ve been one of those people. It kind of frustrates my wife that I am\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You and Dave are so similar!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019m good with my life. Are you good with how your life\u2019s worked out?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m a 12!\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That sounds so arrogant!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It does.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m <em>envious<\/em> of it; it\u2019s awesome!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What\u2019s your [Ann\u2019s] number?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s called denial; that\u2019s what it is.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My number is probably much higher now, because I feel like I have <em>finally<\/em> realized: \u201cThis is who I am <em>in Christ<\/em>, and He rates me a 10\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbecause I am His creation.\u201d\n\nBut if you would have asked me, over the seasons\u2014 man, I would have been low\u2014you would never know it, because I\u2019m an achiever; it seems like I\u2019m confident, but I had an internal dialogue in my head that was probably a 3.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> For years\u2014and again, I know this isn\u2019t about us\u2014but for years, in our marriage, I would say to her, \u201cMan, you are the most beautiful, incredible woman\u201d; and she would say, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not.\u201d I used to just <em>mock <\/em>her\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cQuit saying that!\u201d And then I realized, \u201cShe truly doesn\u2019t believe it,\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand she needs to hear me say it.\u201d I [before] thought, \u201cShe looks in the mirror and sees how beautiful she is\u201d; and she could <em>not <\/em>see that.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think a lot of us struggle with that.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie Ivey is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Jamie, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thank you, guys.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie is an author, a podcaster, a speaker. She\u2019s written a book called <em>You Be You. <\/em>I looked at that title and thought, \u201cWell, what if I don\u2019t like who I be?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\n\n\u2014right?\u2014\u201cWhat if the <em>You Be You<\/em>\u2014you look and go, \u2018No!\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m a 1!\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cI am not happy with who I am.\u201d Have you got a number on your 1-to-10 scale?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m kind of like you: the older I\u2019ve gotten, I\u2019m more content with who I am.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think that, when you\u2019re in your 20s and 30s, you\u2019re kind of like, \u201cI don\u2019t know! Who am I? What am I supposed to be? Where am I?\u201d And then, you hit 40\u2014and something happens\u2014you\u2019re like, \u201cThis is who I am! What else am I going to do? I\u2019m just going to bring myself to the table.\u201d I would say I\u2019m pretty high most days\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014most days.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And do you think a lot of women are wrestling with not liking who they are?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think so. I think you nailed it [Ann] when you said, \u201cI\u2019m a 10 in Christ.\u201d I think that is where a lot of it comes from: is this trusting that God uniquely created you\/this idea that\u2014if you\u2019ve been in church for a long time, you can forget the basics\u2014that God knew you before you were formed: He <em>knew <\/em>you; He chose you; He loves you; He created you with intention; He created you for a purpose.\n\nAgain, we live in a broken world; so a lot of this gets distorted by sin, and hurt, and harm\u2014and things happen, and life gets crazy; and people die, and people get diagnoses\u2014we live in a hard world! But if we go back to remember, \u201cMan, God actually delights in you; He loves you.\u201d Yes, it\u2019s a hard thing to remember; but sometimes you have to tell yourself the same thing over and over again to get it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I think it\u2019s really, really difficult for the average person, including me\u2014I\u2019m sure we\u2019d all agree\u2014to think that, when God looks at us\u2014you know, a great question is: \u201cWhat do you think God\u2019s thinking?\u201d and\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat is His face saying?\u201d And it\u2019s a smile!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, you were created as a work\/a <em>poiema<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you know, Ephesians 2:10\u2014\u201cMy work of art\/masterpiece.\u201d Almost like\/you know, some of you are old enough to remember <em>Happy Days. <\/em>\n\n<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It would start with Fonzie looking in the mirror and getting ready to do his hair. He\u2019s just like, \u201cOh, I look perfect. There\u2019s nothing I\u2019m going to do.\u201d [Laughter] <em>None of us\u2014<\/em>\n\n<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014probably ever look in the mirror and say, \u201cOh, look at me! I\u2019m awesome!\u201d We\u2019re like, \u201cLook at that flaw; look at that flaw.\u201d Yet, God looks and says, \u201cmasterpiece.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I\u2019m <em>passionate<\/em> about this; because I see so many young women, who are degrading themselves, and they don\u2019t see themselves as that. Having a granddaughter\u2014I\u2019ve shared this before\u2014but I remember having breakfast with her, just the two of us before anyone was up\u2014and I said, \u201cOlive.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How old is she?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She was four when I told her this. I said, \u201cOlive, I can imagine the day that God started thinking about you.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Oooh.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I said, \u201cI imagine Him being in His throne room, and all the angels are there. And He said, \u2018Today, I\u2019m going to begin creating Olive Wilson.\u2019\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cReally? This is amazing!\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I said, \u201cAnd I can see Him saying, \u2018I\u2019m going to put kindness into her.\u2019\u201d I said, \u201cIt\u2019s almost like He\u2019s making this creation: \u2018And I\u2019m going to put joy and humor. And I\u2019m going to give her this blonde hair and these blue eyes.\u2019\u201d And I kept going about what she\u2019s like: \u201c\u2019She\u2019s going to be compassionate; but she\u2019s going to be <em>strong<\/em>!\u2019\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, this is <em>cool<\/em>.\u201d\n\nI said, \u201cAnd then, He held you up of what you would be; and all the angels are like, \u2018Aaah!\u2019 They started to clap and cheer. He said, \u2018This will be Olive Wilson, and I have <em>great<\/em> things in store for her, and a plan for her, and she will make a difference in the world.\u2019\u201d\n\nI\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019ve said this to each of our grandkids\u2014and here\u2019s what they say: \u201cNoni,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they call me\u2014\"tell me again the story of what God thought of me when He made me!\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I feel like you just read us a children\u2019s book!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to write this!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I\u2019m so in! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s interesting; because the second half would be, \u201cBut there\u2019s an enemy, who will do anything in his power to get her <em>not <\/em>to live out what God put into her.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is so beautiful! I mean, Jamie, you just spoke what I\u2019ve said to her so many times: \u201cHoney, you have children\u2019s books in you! Write those down!\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I literally just felt like I was at the library, and someone was reading the most amazing story! I\u2019m like seeing the pictures\/everything! [Laughter] Yes, Noni; you\u2019ve got to do that!\n\nBut when you were saying that, I thought, \u201cYou know what? I need to be <em>told<\/em> that, as an <em>adult<\/em>.\u201d You said that to a four-year-old, and she\u2019s sitting there, and they\u2019re taking it in with this child-like faith; and they believe it!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There\u2019s no way that she looked at you and said, \u201cI don\u2019t believe that to be true.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>Exactly!<\/em>\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> She took it in! I think, sometimes, I need someone to speak that over <em>me<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve done that at women\u2019s conferences. I hold up this jar of what God created her to be; and they\u2019re like, \u201cNo, He didn\u2019t.\u201d We have to <em>win<\/em> women back!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about that! Talk about that!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens\u2014and it\u2019s guys, too!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens to us? Your title: <em>You Be You<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There are so many who say, \u201cNo, no, no! You really don\u2019t want me to be me, because if you knew what I know about me\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got to be something different.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201csomeone else different.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csomeone else\u201d; yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens? Why do we think that?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You know, we talked about middle school yesterday. I think, if we were to go back\u2014when Olive was four, she believed that with everything in her\u2014you will continue to tell her that, but something will happen\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014she\u2019ll turn 12, and someone will make fun of her; or she\u2019ll turn 12, and show up in the cafeteria, and they say, \u201cYou can\u2019t sit here anymore.\u201d Or she\u2019ll turn 15, and a boy will tell her, \u201cI think you\u2019re ugly.\u201d These things happen, and then we start to believe the <em>lie<\/em> over what we know to be the truth.\n\nI mean, that\u2019s called \u201cthe world\u201d\/\u201csin.\u201d It happened in the Garden of Eden! Eve believed a lie over what God had spoke as truth over her; that\u2019s what happens. We\u2019re having to combat this, like you said, we have a real enemy, who has come to kill, and destroy, and tell us lies. We, as followers of Jesus\/as women, have to be willing to say: \u201cI refuse to believe that; I\u2019m going to take God\u2019s Word.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to get in it. I\u2019m going to believe it,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to write it,\u201d\u2014like Deuteronomy says\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to write it on my doorposts!\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to talk to my children. I\u2019m going to think about it when I lie down; I\u2019m going to think about it when I walk on the road.\u201d Not to over-spiritualize, but it is <em>true<\/em>! God gave us this whole Book\u2014this love letter to us\u2014in a sense to say, \u201cLook how much I love you. I spent all of this effort to bring you back to Me! That\u2019s how much I care for you.\u201d\n\nEvery day, there are more opportunities to forget that than to remember that. I think we need to do a little math switch; you know? And we need to have Noni in our ear\u2014[Laughter]\u2014whatever that might look like for you, whether that\u2019s your girlfriends\u2014and you say, \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to need you to check in on me every week and say, \u2018Are you believing things that are true or things that are false?\u2019\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand then say, \u2018Here are the false things I believe...\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> And have a friend speak truth back to you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you have a friend; you have the Word of God. Do you think\u2014and I\u2019m looking at two women, asking this question\u2014\u201cDo you think it\u2019s worse now?\u2014the comparison and the self-identity\u2014than it was\u2014you don\u2019t know 50 years ago\u2014but 30 or 40 years ago?\u2014because of social media and different things.\u201d\n\nOne of the reasons I\u2019m asking that is\u2014you know, I\u2019m a musician; and I love music; I love worship music\u2014and I\u2019ve noticed worship music\u2014in the last seven, eight\/ten years\u2014has been about <em>identity<\/em>. They\u2019ve gone to the top of the charts: <em>I\u2019m No Longer a Slave<\/em>\u2014you know, those kinds of songs\u2014Lauren Daigle: <em>You Say<\/em>. I mean, several songs that we\u2019re singing in our churches in the last decade, or probably five years, are that; they\u2019ve resonated with a culture.\n\nAgain, I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s right or wrong; it\u2019s just you notice waves. Self-esteem\/identity have always been an issue for everyone; but it feels like we need to be told like never before, \u201cYou\u2019re a child of God; You\u2019re unique.\u201d Psalm 139: \u201cYou\u2019re fearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d\n\nI\u2019m asking two women: \u201cIs it worse now than you think, ever, maybe because of social media, or not?\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think, \u201cYes; I think that it\u2019s <em>always<\/em> been a problem\u201d; I mean, I mentioned the Garden of Eden. All of a sudden, Eve is like, \u201cOkay; you\u2019re telling me there\u2019s something better\u201d; so I\u2019m not believing what is true. And here we are, looking at what we think is something <em>better <\/em>on our phones versus what God has said is true. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s <em>new <\/em>by any means, and I don\u2019t think you\u2019re saying that.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> But I mean, when I was in high school\u2014I graduated in \u201996 \u2014I didn\u2019t know what anyone was doing unless I was with them.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There was no way for me to know what anybody was doing at another high school. I didn\u2019t even know what someone was doing in the class next to me; because unless you were there, you didn\u2019t know!\n\nSo yes, there were comparison issues there with girls; because of what you see. But now, I mean, there\u2019s an opportunity for you to get online on your phone\u2014Instagram, Facebook, whatever it is that you\u2019re looking at\u2014and compare yourself to a woman that you\u2019ve never met, but you follow her every move. You live in Austin, and she lives in Norway! Do you know what I mean? There\u2019s this connection that\u2019s false, and then we will find ourselves comparing ourselves to it. I think, yes, it\u2019s worse [the comparison]; and I think that means, if it\u2019s worse, then we need to know how to fight it more.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Jamie, let\u2019s talk about that.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How do we win in that?\u2014with that comparison game.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes; I think that it\u2019s an offensive battle\u2014is what I think it is. A lot of times, we\u2019re trying to play defense; but for me, personally, I want to play offense with my heart. If I am very self-aware that I\u2019m spending a lot of hours on Instagram\u2014\u201cWow! When I do that, what I notice about myself is, all of a sudden, I don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m good enough. All of a sudden: \u201cWow; I <em>do <\/em>think I\u2019m fat; because look at her,\u201d or \u201cWow; I think she and her husband have an amazing life, and they\u2019re always on dates; man!\u201d\u2014you know, you start to say that. If you start to evaluate: \u201cEvery time I get off my phone, I feel worse than when I started,\u201d you need to play some offense.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying, \u201cEven look at your internal dialogue\u201d?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Look at your internal dialogue: \u201cHow are you feeling in these moments?\u201d I heard someone say the other day\u2014and I can\u2019t stop thinking about this\u2014she was like, \u201cWe now are invested in people\u2019s lives that we\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> meet.\u201d And she wasn\u2019t saying that as like a minister or someone leading an organization. She was saying a mom in Tulsa is fully invested in a mom in San Francisco\u2014they have no connection; they\u2019ll never meet\u2014but yet, she has people around her that she\u2019s not connected to. That\u2019s a problem!\n\nI would say, \u201cLook at your internal\/in yourself and how you\u2019re feeling; and then, man, make some real connections!\u201d Because I think it\u2019s harder for me\u2014if I don\u2019t just know you online but I know you as a friend\u2014it\u2019s harder for me to be jealous of you or compare myself to you when I\u2019m a genuine cheerleader of what you\u2019re doing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> When I\u2019m genuinely cheering you on\u2014and I\u2019m so happy for the success of your marriage, and your kids, and your job\u2014it\u2019s hard for me to then be envious, because I\u2019m so <em>for <\/em>you! So be <em>for <\/em>people in your real life. Find those girlfriends! Find those friends, where you can be like, \u201cI know that you got that promotion, and I\u2019m still at the same job I\u2019ve been at for five years. I want a promotion <em>so bad, <\/em>but I\u2019m going to cheer you on. I\u2019m going to fight that comparison battle, but I\u2019m going to cheer you on.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I discovered this in my 20s, as we were going to seminary in California; and this was in the \u201880s. I was teaching, at a club, all these aerobic classes and all these workout things.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She was good! [Laughter] All the guys took her class, because it was the hardest class in the club.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What I realized was\u2014I was always in competition with other women\u2014and I think that\u2019s a thing.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Women compete against one another instead of locking arms with one another and being friends.\n\nThere was this one girl at the club\/she taught with me; and she was <em>perfect<\/em>. She was beautiful; she was in shape. If somebody\u2019s going to be like that, you want them to, at least, be mean. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014to have like a bad personality or something!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But she was the nicest person <em>ever<\/em>! I realized I never complimented other women, because they were my competition. That is really a thing with women\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014we\u2019re in competition with one another\u2014and so we pull away from one another. And isn\u2019t <em>that <\/em>the enemy\u2019s strategy?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> One hundred percent!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because women together are a <em>force<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This one day, she is in the locker room. And no one talks to this girl, because she\u2019s too perfect. She\u2019s not modest at all; so she\u2019s in the locker room, and everyone sees her. They\u2019re like, \u201cOh no!\u201d; because they feel so bad about themselves.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cI need to <em>win<\/em> this battle; because right now, she\u2019s my enemy; because she\u2019s my competition.\u201d The locker room is full, but she\u2019s all by herself in the mirror. I said, \u201cI am so mad at you. Why are you so beautiful <em>and <\/em>you\u2019re so nice? It\u2019s kind of sickening, honestly. I\u2019m so impressed by you. You\u2019re an inspiration to me.\u201d It was <em>amazing<\/em>!\u2014of how, for me, all my walls went down; and she became this beautiful friend that I had for years there. I realized, \u201cWow! The enemy really tried to separate us.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And when I talk to women, I\u2019m like, \u201cWe need to cheer for each other!\u201d\u2014just as you said\u2014\u201cAs soon as we start cheering for each other, we\u2019re on the same team.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014same team!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd now, we can do battle together.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014but!\u2014here\u2019s my question: \u201cTo cheer somebody else on, you\u2019ve got to be pretty secure. One of the reasons we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> is we\u2019re insecure, like you were saying, Ann.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe want somebody to cheer us, but it\u2019s hard to cheer somebody else unless you feel a sense of security\u201d; am I right?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, but you know what I think I see\u2014you guys became friends.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You crossed over\u2014you laid down your defenses and what you were feeling\u2014and I would imagine that she, then, encouraged you.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It was like someone has to take the first step.\n\nI have a very similar story. When my boys were playing Pop Warner Football, I would go to their practices. I\u2019m an extrovert, but sometimes I just want to sit and read a book; right? I would bring my chair; I would sit and read a book. And there were these two moms\u2014they would walk the track\u2014gorgeous! I should have been walking the track\u2014okay?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but I\u2019m just going to sit and read a book; okay?! [Laughter]\n\nThey\u2019re walking the track; they\u2019re beautiful! I mean, I always thought, \u201cI bet they\u2019re just kind of stuck-up and snobby; like, \u2018Why are they working out?\u2019 Just don\u2019t; stop.\u201d You know? [Laughter] I <em>never<\/em> approached them. I had preconceived ideas about who they were, and what they were like, and how they would be towards me.\n\nThen, a couple years later, I started a Bible study in my home. I just kind of\u2014that was a big step too\u2014but I just reached out and invited some moms that I had their phone number\u2014that our kids went to school together. And those two ladies showed up. We\u2019ve been doing Bible study together now for about three years. When I told them that story for the first time, they were like, \u201cAre you <em>kidding<\/em>!? Why didn\u2019t you come walk with us?!\u201d They\u2019re such <em>genuine<\/em> friends of mine now; and it was that someone had to go over and kind of put down their walls\u2014lay down my pride; because that\u2019s a form of pride, of going, \u201cI\u2019m not going to do that,\u201d\u2014then, you find out you have these genuine relationships that you would have missed out on.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you know, here\u2019s what\u2019s going on: when you tried to do that in middle school, where back there\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014you got hurt!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. The girls wouldn\u2019t let you sit at the table with them; and so you grow up, thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go approach them, because they\u2019re just going to blow me off like the girls in middle school did.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd then, I\u2019m going to get hurt.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I\u2019m not sure girls in middle school\u2014if you complimented a girl in middle school\u2014I\u2019m not sure she would blow you off. What do you think?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I have like <em>blocked out <\/em>middle school. [Laughter] My brain will not let me go back there!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you\u2019re right. We have wounds in the past that affect us.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is not a woman\/this is a <em>human <\/em>issue.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It\u2019s humanity, for sure.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was working out in a gym, years ago; you can tell I work out every day.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was years ago; right? [Laughter] I can tell it was years ago!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You look good, hon! You look good.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is my wife; of course, she\u2019s going to say that.\n\nBut I\u2019ll never forget this day; because it\u2019s similar in terms of the gym. You know, guys walk around; and they compare bodies.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, back then, it was bench presses; right? And there was this guy, who was <em>huge<\/em>, throwing up 300-something on a bench, which, if you don\u2019t know, that\u2019s a lot of weight. Steve and I are over here, doing our 185\/maybe 200. We were in our 30s, so we were young and in pretty good shape. But this guy!\u2014usually, those guys\/at least, in my opinion\u2014get up and they go to the drinking fountain every two minutes so everybody can see how big they are.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014see them!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, they just walk by you. I\u2019m literally on the bench, and Steve is spotting me. I\u2019m looking at this guy, like, \u201cWhat a jerk! Look at this guy. He\u2019s so big, and he\u2019s lifting so much weight. He\u2019s walking around, getting drinks every three minutes.\u201d All I know is, my buddy Steve\u2014who we started this church together 30 years ago\u2014he walks over to this guy, while he\u2019s on the bench; he goes, \u201cDude! Man, you look <em>great<\/em>, and you\u2019re throwing up all that weight! Way to go, Dude! Man, I wish I could do it like that. You look awesome!\u201d\n\nI\u2019m looking at Steve, like, \u201cWhat are you doing!? You just broke the man code! You <em>don\u2019t <\/em>do that in a gym! You don\u2019t compliment another guy\u2019s body!\u201d And this guy, I mean, he looked up at him, and it was like he came alive! It was like he couldn\u2019t believe another man\u2014like you said\u2014cheer-leaded him\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and said, \u201cYou look awesome.\u201d I\u2019m telling you\u2014every time we were in the gym after that\u2014that guy ran over to us and said, \u201cHey, man! How are you guys doing? What\u2019s up?\u201d We were his friends!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, actually, Steve was; I was still jealous. But it was just watching what happens to somebody when you\u2014and by the way, my whole perspective of that guy changed!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But it didn\u2019t seem that way.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> The thing we have to remember is: humanity was broken in the Garden, and we <em>all <\/em>have insecurities.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You look at that woman or that man, and you think, \u201cThey\u2019re secure; they don\u2019t have to deal with what I deal with.\u201d And then, you get to know them, and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh! You have the same issues I have!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cYou have the same identity problems I have!\u201d We all need Jesus; that\u2019s the answer. But we believe the reality that says, \u201cEveryone else is good, and no one struggles like I do.\u201d And then, you get to know the person, who you think is perfect; and you realize, \u201cOh! You\u2019re insecure. I thought you weren\u2019t, because you\u2019re <em>beautiful<\/em>.\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m, actually, really insecure too.\u201d We have so much more in common.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never forgotten reading an article in the mid-\u201890s, where an interview was done with some of the top supermodels in the world\u2014women who are paid millions of dollars for how they look\u2014they asked them, \u201cOn a scale of 1 to 10, how do you see yourself?\u201d And these women gave themselves 7s and 8s; and immediately pointed out: \u201cMy nose is crooked,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve got this flaw,\u201d or \u201c\u2026this problem.\u201d They were so fixated on the flaw.\n\nAnd we\u2019re talking about physical appearance, which you have to keep in mind here, God looks on the inside; man looks on the outside. Physical appearance is not <em>nothing<\/em>, but it\u2019s not where we should be trying to find our identity. Yet, I think the point is: \u201cEvery one of us looks with some envy.\u201d You were talking about social media, Dave; and I was thinking, \u201cInstagram, and Twitter, and Facebook cause you to break the Tenth Commandment regularly. You are coveting what your neighbor has.\u201d\n\nThis is where we\u2019ve got to come back and say, \u201cNow what does God say is true? Find our identity\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where we started\u2014\u201cFind your identity in Christ; anchor yourself in that. That\u2019s where you can say, \u2018Okay, this is who God made me to be. He delights in it. I\u2019m going to delight in it as well and find my life there,\u2019\u2014rather than being jealous that\u2014\u2018She can sing better than I can,\u2019 \u2018He\u2019s smarter than I am,\u2019 \u2018And that person over there can bake better than I can.\u2019\u201d So what?!\u2014right? \u201cYou be you!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what I was thinking: right? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You be you!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You be you!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll get the book plug in right here. And, by the way, we are making your book available this week to any <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener who can help support the mission of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If you want to invest in the marriages and families of people in your community\/people all around the world\u2014if you want to help provide practical biblical help and hope for people who are looking for it\u2014you can make a donation today and ask for a copy of Jamie\u2019s book, <em>You Be You<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate.\n\nLet me just say\u2014on behalf of those who listen every day\/those who get in touch with us and let us know how God is using the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>in their lives\u2014thank you for that investment! You have no idea how many families\/how many marriages are stronger today, because of the investment you\u2019ve made. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and request your copy of Jamie Ivey\u2019s book, <em>You Be You; <\/em>or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nAnd if you are not yet subscribed to Jamie\u2019s podcast, which is called <em>The Happy Hour, <\/em>we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; and you can go there and find out more about how you can listen to Jamie regularly. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\nNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how embracing our identity and leaning into who God made us to be still requires us to confront the fact that we\u2019re rebels; we\u2019re sinners. We certainly don\u2019t want to embrace that. Jamie Ivey will be here with us tomorrow to talk more about that. I hope you can be here as well.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Bruce Goff, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others? Author and podcaster Jamie Ivey talks about seeing yourself as God's masterpiece.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2021-01-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of the reason so many people today are discontented with their lives is because of the culture of comparison we live in. Here\u2019s author and podcaster, Jamie Ivey.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There\u2019s an opportunity for you to get online on your phone\u2014Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, whatever it is that you\u2019re looking at\u2014and compare yourself to a woman that you\u2019ve never met, but you follow her every move. You live in Austin, and she lives in Norway! Do you know what I mean? There\u2019s this connection that\u2019s false; and then we will find ourselves comparing ourselves to it: \u201cYes, it\u2019s worse [the comparison].\u201d I think that means, if it\u2019s worse, then we need to know how to fight it more.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How can we fight against the culture of comparison and cultivate hearts that are at peace and contented? We\u2019ll talk about that today with Jamie Ivey. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I wonder, \u201cIf we had a scale of 1-10\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, boy! Scales of 1-10.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwith listeners: 10 being positive; 1 being negative; okay?\u2014and I said, \u2018Where would you put yourself on how you feel about yourself?\u2019\u201410 being, \u2018I like who I am today,\u2019\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I want to ask you, Bob. Forget us! What\u2019s your number?\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have always been relatively content with who I am and who God made me to be; I\u2019ve been one of those people. It kind of frustrates my wife that I am\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You and Dave are so similar!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019m good with my life. Are you good with how your life\u2019s worked out?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m a 12!\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That sounds so arrogant!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It does.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I\u2019m <em>envious<\/em> of it; it\u2019s awesome!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What\u2019s your [Ann\u2019s] number?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s called denial; that\u2019s what it is.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My number is probably much higher now, because I feel like I have <em>finally<\/em> realized: \u201cThis is who I am <em>in Christ<\/em>, and He rates me a 10\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbecause I am His creation.\u201d\n\nBut if you would have asked me, over the seasons\u2014 man, I would have been low\u2014you would never know it, because I\u2019m an achiever; it seems like I\u2019m confident, but I had an internal dialogue in my head that was probably a 3.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> For years\u2014and again, I know this isn\u2019t about us\u2014but for years, in our marriage, I would say to her, \u201cMan, you are the most beautiful, incredible woman\u201d; and she would say, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not.\u201d I used to just <em>mock <\/em>her\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cQuit saying that!\u201d And then I realized, \u201cShe truly doesn\u2019t believe it,\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand she needs to hear me say it.\u201d I [before] thought, \u201cShe looks in the mirror and sees how beautiful she is\u201d; and she could <em>not <\/em>see that.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think a lot of us struggle with that.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie Ivey is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Jamie, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Thank you, guys.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jamie is an author, a podcaster, a speaker. She\u2019s written a book called <em>You Be You. <\/em>I looked at that title and thought, \u201cWell, what if I don\u2019t like who I be?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\n\n\u2014right?\u2014\u201cWhat if the <em>You Be You<\/em>\u2014you look and go, \u2018No!\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m a 1!\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cI am not happy with who I am.\u201d Have you got a number on your 1-to-10 scale?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m kind of like you: the older I\u2019ve gotten, I\u2019m more content with who I am.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think that, when you\u2019re in your 20s and 30s, you\u2019re kind of like, \u201cI don\u2019t know! Who am I? What am I supposed to be? Where am I?\u201d And then, you hit 40\u2014and something happens\u2014you\u2019re like, \u201cThis is who I am! What else am I going to do? I\u2019m just going to bring myself to the table.\u201d I would say I\u2019m pretty high most days\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014most days.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And do you think a lot of women are wrestling with not liking who they are?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think so. I think you nailed it [Ann] when you said, \u201cI\u2019m a 10 in Christ.\u201d I think that is where a lot of it comes from: is this trusting that God uniquely created you\/this idea that\u2014if you\u2019ve been in church for a long time, you can forget the basics\u2014that God knew you before you were formed: He <em>knew <\/em>you; He chose you; He loves you; He created you with intention; He created you for a purpose.\n\nAgain, we live in a broken world; so a lot of this gets distorted by sin, and hurt, and harm\u2014and things happen, and life gets crazy; and people die, and people get diagnoses\u2014we live in a hard world! But if we go back to remember, \u201cMan, God actually delights in you; He loves you.\u201d Yes, it\u2019s a hard thing to remember; but sometimes you have to tell yourself the same thing over and over again to get it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I think it\u2019s really, really difficult for the average person, including me\u2014I\u2019m sure we\u2019d all agree\u2014to think that, when God looks at us\u2014you know, a great question is: \u201cWhat do you think God\u2019s thinking?\u201d and\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat is His face saying?\u201d And it\u2019s a smile!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, you were created as a work\/a <em>poiema<\/em>\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you know, Ephesians 2:10\u2014\u201cMy work of art\/masterpiece.\u201d Almost like\/you know, some of you are old enough to remember <em>Happy Days. <\/em>\n\n<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It would start with Fonzie looking in the mirror and getting ready to do his hair. He\u2019s just like, \u201cOh, I look perfect. There\u2019s nothing I\u2019m going to do.\u201d [Laughter] <em>None of us\u2014<\/em>\n\n<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014probably ever look in the mirror and say, \u201cOh, look at me! I\u2019m awesome!\u201d We\u2019re like, \u201cLook at that flaw; look at that flaw.\u201d Yet, God looks and says, \u201cmasterpiece.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I\u2019m <em>passionate<\/em> about this; because I see so many young women, who are degrading themselves, and they don\u2019t see themselves as that. Having a granddaughter\u2014I\u2019ve shared this before\u2014but I remember having breakfast with her, just the two of us before anyone was up\u2014and I said, \u201cOlive.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How old is she?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She was four when I told her this. I said, \u201cOlive, I can imagine the day that God started thinking about you.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Oooh.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I said, \u201cI imagine Him being in His throne room, and all the angels are there. And He said, \u2018Today, I\u2019m going to begin creating Olive Wilson.\u2019\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cReally? This is amazing!\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I said, \u201cAnd I can see Him saying, \u2018I\u2019m going to put kindness into her.\u2019\u201d I said, \u201cIt\u2019s almost like He\u2019s making this creation: \u2018And I\u2019m going to put joy and humor. And I\u2019m going to give her this blonde hair and these blue eyes.\u2019\u201d And I kept going about what she\u2019s like: \u201c\u2019She\u2019s going to be compassionate; but she\u2019s going to be <em>strong<\/em>!\u2019\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, this is <em>cool<\/em>.\u201d\n\nI said, \u201cAnd then, He held you up of what you would be; and all the angels are like, \u2018Aaah!\u2019 They started to clap and cheer. He said, \u2018This will be Olive Wilson, and I have <em>great<\/em> things in store for her, and a plan for her, and she will make a difference in the world.\u2019\u201d\n\nI\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019ve said this to each of our grandkids\u2014and here\u2019s what they say: \u201cNoni,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they call me\u2014\"tell me again the story of what God thought of me when He made me!\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I feel like you just read us a children\u2019s book!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to write this!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I\u2019m so in! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s interesting; because the second half would be, \u201cBut there\u2019s an enemy, who will do anything in his power to get her <em>not <\/em>to live out what God put into her.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is so beautiful! I mean, Jamie, you just spoke what I\u2019ve said to her so many times: \u201cHoney, you have children\u2019s books in you! Write those down!\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I literally just felt like I was at the library, and someone was reading the most amazing story! I\u2019m like seeing the pictures\/everything! [Laughter] Yes, Noni; you\u2019ve got to do that!\n\nBut when you were saying that, I thought, \u201cYou know what? I need to be <em>told<\/em> that, as an <em>adult<\/em>.\u201d You said that to a four-year-old, and she\u2019s sitting there, and they\u2019re taking it in with this child-like faith; and they believe it!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There\u2019s no way that she looked at you and said, \u201cI don\u2019t believe that to be true.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>Exactly!<\/em>\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> She took it in! I think, sometimes, I need someone to speak that over <em>me<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve done that at women\u2019s conferences. I hold up this jar of what God created her to be; and they\u2019re like, \u201cNo, He didn\u2019t.\u201d We have to <em>win<\/em> women back!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about that! Talk about that!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens\u2014and it\u2019s guys, too!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens to us? Your title: <em>You Be You<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There are so many who say, \u201cNo, no, no! You really don\u2019t want me to be me, because if you knew what I know about me\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got to be something different.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201csomeone else different.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csomeone else\u201d; yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What happens? Why do we think that?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You know, we talked about middle school yesterday. I think, if we were to go back\u2014when Olive was four, she believed that with everything in her\u2014you will continue to tell her that, but something will happen\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014she\u2019ll turn 12, and someone will make fun of her; or she\u2019ll turn 12, and show up in the cafeteria, and they say, \u201cYou can\u2019t sit here anymore.\u201d Or she\u2019ll turn 15, and a boy will tell her, \u201cI think you\u2019re ugly.\u201d These things happen, and then we start to believe the <em>lie<\/em> over what we know to be the truth.\n\nI mean, that\u2019s called \u201cthe world\u201d\/\u201csin.\u201d It happened in the Garden of Eden! Eve believed a lie over what God had spoke as truth over her; that\u2019s what happens. We\u2019re having to combat this, like you said, we have a real enemy, who has come to kill, and destroy, and tell us lies. We, as followers of Jesus\/as women, have to be willing to say: \u201cI refuse to believe that; I\u2019m going to take God\u2019s Word.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to get in it. I\u2019m going to believe it,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to write it,\u201d\u2014like Deuteronomy says\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to write it on my doorposts!\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to talk to my children. I\u2019m going to think about it when I lie down; I\u2019m going to think about it when I walk on the road.\u201d Not to over-spiritualize, but it is <em>true<\/em>! God gave us this whole Book\u2014this love letter to us\u2014in a sense to say, \u201cLook how much I love you. I spent all of this effort to bring you back to Me! That\u2019s how much I care for you.\u201d\n\nEvery day, there are more opportunities to forget that than to remember that. I think we need to do a little math switch; you know? And we need to have Noni in our ear\u2014[Laughter]\u2014whatever that might look like for you, whether that\u2019s your girlfriends\u2014and you say, \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to need you to check in on me every week and say, \u2018Are you believing things that are true or things that are false?\u2019\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand then say, \u2018Here are the false things I believe...\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> And have a friend speak truth back to you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you have a friend; you have the Word of God. Do you think\u2014and I\u2019m looking at two women, asking this question\u2014\u201cDo you think it\u2019s worse now?\u2014the comparison and the self-identity\u2014than it was\u2014you don\u2019t know 50 years ago\u2014but 30 or 40 years ago?\u2014because of social media and different things.\u201d\n\nOne of the reasons I\u2019m asking that is\u2014you know, I\u2019m a musician; and I love music; I love worship music\u2014and I\u2019ve noticed worship music\u2014in the last seven, eight\/ten years\u2014has been about <em>identity<\/em>. They\u2019ve gone to the top of the charts: <em>I\u2019m No Longer a Slave<\/em>\u2014you know, those kinds of songs\u2014Lauren Daigle: <em>You Say<\/em>. I mean, several songs that we\u2019re singing in our churches in the last decade, or probably five years, are that; they\u2019ve resonated with a culture.\n\nAgain, I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s right or wrong; it\u2019s just you notice waves. Self-esteem\/identity have always been an issue for everyone; but it feels like we need to be told like never before, \u201cYou\u2019re a child of God; You\u2019re unique.\u201d Psalm 139: \u201cYou\u2019re fearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d\n\nI\u2019m asking two women: \u201cIs it worse now than you think, ever, maybe because of social media, or not?\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I think, \u201cYes; I think that it\u2019s <em>always<\/em> been a problem\u201d; I mean, I mentioned the Garden of Eden. All of a sudden, Eve is like, \u201cOkay; you\u2019re telling me there\u2019s something better\u201d; so I\u2019m not believing what is true. And here we are, looking at what we think is something <em>better <\/em>on our phones versus what God has said is true. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s <em>new <\/em>by any means, and I don\u2019t think you\u2019re saying that.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> But I mean, when I was in high school\u2014I graduated in \u201996 \u2014I didn\u2019t know what anyone was doing unless I was with them.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> There was no way for me to know what anybody was doing at another high school. I didn\u2019t even know what someone was doing in the class next to me; because unless you were there, you didn\u2019t know!\n\nSo yes, there were comparison issues there with girls; because of what you see. But now, I mean, there\u2019s an opportunity for you to get online on your phone\u2014Instagram, Facebook, whatever it is that you\u2019re looking at\u2014and compare yourself to a woman that you\u2019ve never met, but you follow her every move. You live in Austin, and she lives in Norway! Do you know what I mean? There\u2019s this connection that\u2019s false, and then we will find ourselves comparing ourselves to it. I think, yes, it\u2019s worse [the comparison]; and I think that means, if it\u2019s worse, then we need to know how to fight it more.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Jamie, let\u2019s talk about that.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How do we win in that?\u2014with that comparison game.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes; I think that it\u2019s an offensive battle\u2014is what I think it is. A lot of times, we\u2019re trying to play defense; but for me, personally, I want to play offense with my heart. If I am very self-aware that I\u2019m spending a lot of hours on Instagram\u2014\u201cWow! When I do that, what I notice about myself is, all of a sudden, I don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m good enough. All of a sudden: \u201cWow; I <em>do <\/em>think I\u2019m fat; because look at her,\u201d or \u201cWow; I think she and her husband have an amazing life, and they\u2019re always on dates; man!\u201d\u2014you know, you start to say that. If you start to evaluate: \u201cEvery time I get off my phone, I feel worse than when I started,\u201d you need to play some offense.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying, \u201cEven look at your internal dialogue\u201d?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Look at your internal dialogue: \u201cHow are you feeling in these moments?\u201d I heard someone say the other day\u2014and I can\u2019t stop thinking about this\u2014she was like, \u201cWe now are invested in people\u2019s lives that we\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> meet.\u201d And she wasn\u2019t saying that as like a minister or someone leading an organization. She was saying a mom in Tulsa is fully invested in a mom in San Francisco\u2014they have no connection; they\u2019ll never meet\u2014but yet, she has people around her that she\u2019s not connected to. That\u2019s a problem!\n\nI would say, \u201cLook at your internal\/in yourself and how you\u2019re feeling; and then, man, make some real connections!\u201d Because I think it\u2019s harder for me\u2014if I don\u2019t just know you online but I know you as a friend\u2014it\u2019s harder for me to be jealous of you or compare myself to you when I\u2019m a genuine cheerleader of what you\u2019re doing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> When I\u2019m genuinely cheering you on\u2014and I\u2019m so happy for the success of your marriage, and your kids, and your job\u2014it\u2019s hard for me to then be envious, because I\u2019m so <em>for <\/em>you! So be <em>for <\/em>people in your real life. Find those girlfriends! Find those friends, where you can be like, \u201cI know that you got that promotion, and I\u2019m still at the same job I\u2019ve been at for five years. I want a promotion <em>so bad, <\/em>but I\u2019m going to cheer you on. I\u2019m going to fight that comparison battle, but I\u2019m going to cheer you on.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I discovered this in my 20s, as we were going to seminary in California; and this was in the \u201880s. I was teaching, at a club, all these aerobic classes and all these workout things.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She was good! [Laughter] All the guys took her class, because it was the hardest class in the club.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What I realized was\u2014I was always in competition with other women\u2014and I think that\u2019s a thing.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Women compete against one another instead of locking arms with one another and being friends.\n\nThere was this one girl at the club\/she taught with me; and she was <em>perfect<\/em>. She was beautiful; she was in shape. If somebody\u2019s going to be like that, you want them to, at least, be mean. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014to have like a bad personality or something!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But she was the nicest person <em>ever<\/em>! I realized I never complimented other women, because they were my competition. That is really a thing with women\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014we\u2019re in competition with one another\u2014and so we pull away from one another. And isn\u2019t <em>that <\/em>the enemy\u2019s strategy?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> One hundred percent!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Because women together are a <em>force<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This one day, she is in the locker room. And no one talks to this girl, because she\u2019s too perfect. She\u2019s not modest at all; so she\u2019s in the locker room, and everyone sees her. They\u2019re like, \u201cOh no!\u201d; because they feel so bad about themselves.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cI need to <em>win<\/em> this battle; because right now, she\u2019s my enemy; because she\u2019s my competition.\u201d The locker room is full, but she\u2019s all by herself in the mirror. I said, \u201cI am so mad at you. Why are you so beautiful <em>and <\/em>you\u2019re so nice? It\u2019s kind of sickening, honestly. I\u2019m so impressed by you. You\u2019re an inspiration to me.\u201d It was <em>amazing<\/em>!\u2014of how, for me, all my walls went down; and she became this beautiful friend that I had for years there. I realized, \u201cWow! The enemy really tried to separate us.\u201d\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And when I talk to women, I\u2019m like, \u201cWe need to cheer for each other!\u201d\u2014just as you said\u2014\u201cAs soon as we start cheering for each other, we\u2019re on the same team.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014same team!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd now, we can do battle together.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\u2014but!\u2014here\u2019s my question: \u201cTo cheer somebody else on, you\u2019ve got to be pretty secure. One of the reasons we <em>don\u2019t<\/em> is we\u2019re insecure, like you were saying, Ann.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe want somebody to cheer us, but it\u2019s hard to cheer somebody else unless you feel a sense of security\u201d; am I right?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, but you know what I think I see\u2014you guys became friends.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You crossed over\u2014you laid down your defenses and what you were feeling\u2014and I would imagine that she, then, encouraged you.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It was like someone has to take the first step.\n\nI have a very similar story. When my boys were playing Pop Warner Football, I would go to their practices. I\u2019m an extrovert, but sometimes I just want to sit and read a book; right? I would bring my chair; I would sit and read a book. And there were these two moms\u2014they would walk the track\u2014gorgeous! I should have been walking the track\u2014okay?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but I\u2019m just going to sit and read a book; okay?! [Laughter]\n\nThey\u2019re walking the track; they\u2019re beautiful! I mean, I always thought, \u201cI bet they\u2019re just kind of stuck-up and snobby; like, \u2018Why are they working out?\u2019 Just don\u2019t; stop.\u201d You know? [Laughter] I <em>never<\/em> approached them. I had preconceived ideas about who they were, and what they were like, and how they would be towards me.\n\nThen, a couple years later, I started a Bible study in my home. I just kind of\u2014that was a big step too\u2014but I just reached out and invited some moms that I had their phone number\u2014that our kids went to school together. And those two ladies showed up. We\u2019ve been doing Bible study together now for about three years. When I told them that story for the first time, they were like, \u201cAre you <em>kidding<\/em>!? Why didn\u2019t you come walk with us?!\u201d They\u2019re such <em>genuine<\/em> friends of mine now; and it was that someone had to go over and kind of put down their walls\u2014lay down my pride; because that\u2019s a form of pride, of going, \u201cI\u2019m not going to do that,\u201d\u2014then, you find out you have these genuine relationships that you would have missed out on.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you know, here\u2019s what\u2019s going on: when you tried to do that in middle school, where back there\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u2014you got hurt!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. The girls wouldn\u2019t let you sit at the table with them; and so you grow up, thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go approach them, because they\u2019re just going to blow me off like the girls in middle school did.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd then, I\u2019m going to get hurt.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I\u2019m not sure girls in middle school\u2014if you complimented a girl in middle school\u2014I\u2019m not sure she would blow you off. What do you think?\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> I have like <em>blocked out <\/em>middle school. [Laughter] My brain will not let me go back there!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But you\u2019re right. We have wounds in the past that affect us.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is not a woman\/this is a <em>human <\/em>issue.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> It\u2019s humanity, for sure.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was working out in a gym, years ago; you can tell I work out every day.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was years ago; right? [Laughter] I can tell it was years ago!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You look good, hon! You look good.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> This is my wife; of course, she\u2019s going to say that.\n\nBut I\u2019ll never forget this day; because it\u2019s similar in terms of the gym. You know, guys walk around; and they compare bodies.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, back then, it was bench presses; right? And there was this guy, who was <em>huge<\/em>, throwing up 300-something on a bench, which, if you don\u2019t know, that\u2019s a lot of weight. Steve and I are over here, doing our 185\/maybe 200. We were in our 30s, so we were young and in pretty good shape. But this guy!\u2014usually, those guys\/at least, in my opinion\u2014get up and they go to the drinking fountain every two minutes so everybody can see how big they are.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014see them!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, they just walk by you. I\u2019m literally on the bench, and Steve is spotting me. I\u2019m looking at this guy, like, \u201cWhat a jerk! Look at this guy. He\u2019s so big, and he\u2019s lifting so much weight. He\u2019s walking around, getting drinks every three minutes.\u201d All I know is, my buddy Steve\u2014who we started this church together 30 years ago\u2014he walks over to this guy, while he\u2019s on the bench; he goes, \u201cDude! Man, you look <em>great<\/em>, and you\u2019re throwing up all that weight! Way to go, Dude! Man, I wish I could do it like that. You look awesome!\u201d\n\nI\u2019m looking at Steve, like, \u201cWhat are you doing!? You just broke the man code! You <em>don\u2019t <\/em>do that in a gym! You don\u2019t compliment another guy\u2019s body!\u201d And this guy, I mean, he looked up at him, and it was like he came alive! It was like he couldn\u2019t believe another man\u2014like you said\u2014cheer-leaded him\u2014\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and said, \u201cYou look awesome.\u201d I\u2019m telling you\u2014every time we were in the gym after that\u2014that guy ran over to us and said, \u201cHey, man! How are you guys doing? What\u2019s up?\u201d We were his friends!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, actually, Steve was; I was still jealous. But it was just watching what happens to somebody when you\u2014and by the way, my whole perspective of that guy changed!\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But it didn\u2019t seem that way.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> The thing we have to remember is: humanity was broken in the Garden, and we <em>all <\/em>have insecurities.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You look at that woman or that man, and you think, \u201cThey\u2019re secure; they don\u2019t have to deal with what I deal with.\u201d And then, you get to know them, and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh! You have the same issues I have!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> \u201cYou have the same identity problems I have!\u201d We all need Jesus; that\u2019s the answer. But we believe the reality that says, \u201cEveryone else is good, and no one struggles like I do.\u201d And then, you get to know the person, who you think is perfect; and you realize, \u201cOh! You\u2019re insecure. I thought you weren\u2019t, because you\u2019re <em>beautiful<\/em>.\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m, actually, really insecure too.\u201d We have so much more in common.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never forgotten reading an article in the mid-\u201890s, where an interview was done with some of the top supermodels in the world\u2014women who are paid millions of dollars for how they look\u2014they asked them, \u201cOn a scale of 1 to 10, how do you see yourself?\u201d And these women gave themselves 7s and 8s; and immediately pointed out: \u201cMy nose is crooked,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve got this flaw,\u201d or \u201c\u2026this problem.\u201d They were so fixated on the flaw.\n\nAnd we\u2019re talking about physical appearance, which you have to keep in mind here, God looks on the inside; man looks on the outside. Physical appearance is not <em>nothing<\/em>, but it\u2019s not where we should be trying to find our identity. Yet, I think the point is: \u201cEvery one of us looks with some envy.\u201d You were talking about social media, Dave; and I was thinking, \u201cInstagram, and Twitter, and Facebook cause you to break the Tenth Commandment regularly. You are coveting what your neighbor has.\u201d\n\nThis is where we\u2019ve got to come back and say, \u201cNow what does God say is true? Find our identity\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where we started\u2014\u201cFind your identity in Christ; anchor yourself in that. That\u2019s where you can say, \u2018Okay, this is who God made me to be. He delights in it. I\u2019m going to delight in it as well and find my life there,\u2019\u2014rather than being jealous that\u2014\u2018She can sing better than I can,\u2019 \u2018He\u2019s smarter than I am,\u2019 \u2018And that person over there can bake better than I can.\u2019\u201d So what?!\u2014right? \u201cYou be you!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what I was thinking: right? [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Jamie:<\/strong> You be you!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You be you!\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll get the book plug in right here. And, by the way, we are making your book available this week to any <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener who can help support the mission of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If you want to invest in the marriages and families of people in your community\/people all around the world\u2014if you want to help provide practical biblical help and hope for people who are looking for it\u2014you can make a donation today and ask for a copy of Jamie\u2019s book, <em>You Be You<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate.\n\nLet me just say\u2014on behalf of those who listen every day\/those who get in touch with us and let us know how God is using the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>in their lives\u2014thank you for that investment! You have no idea how many families\/how many marriages are stronger today, because of the investment you\u2019ve made. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and request your copy of Jamie Ivey\u2019s book, <em>You Be You; <\/em>or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nAnd if you are not yet subscribed to Jamie\u2019s podcast, which is called <em>The Happy Hour, <\/em>we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; and you can go there and find out more about how you can listen to Jamie regularly. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\nNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how embracing our identity and leaning into who God made us to be still requires us to confront the fact that we\u2019re rebels; we\u2019re sinners. We certainly don\u2019t want to embrace that. Jamie Ivey will be here with us tomorrow to talk more about that. I hope you can be here as well.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Bruce Goff, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2021 FamilyLife. 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