{"id":306595,"date":"2020-12-04T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-12-04T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/never-too-late-for-love\/"},"modified":"2020-12-04T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T12:00:05","slug":"never-too-late-for-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-too-late-for-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Too Late For Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When the possibility of a biological child was gone, God opened the eyes of Holley Gerth, and her husband, Mark, to the world of someone, who needed their love, as much as they longed to give it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-12-04.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:38:05","filesize":"34.88M","filesize_raw":"36569570","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2822,2873],"tags":[6964,4646],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9678],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306595","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-adopting-an-adult","tag-infertility","cwp_profile-mark-and-holley-gerth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306595\/never-too-late-for-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306595\/never-too-late-for-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rXppzgv2ob\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-too-late-for-love\/\">Never Too Late For Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-too-late-for-love\/embed\/#?secret=rXppzgv2ob\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Never Too Late For Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rXppzgv2ob\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-12-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-12-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> After being married for five years, Mark and Holley Gerth decided to start a family, except they soon realized it wasn\u2019t going to happen the way they thought it would. They dealt with infertility for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Early on, a lot of times, it was like, \u201cWhere are You?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are You answering other people\u2019s prayers and not mine?\u201d or \u201cAm I wrong? Am I asking for something that\u2019s, actually, I\u2019m not supposed to be asking for?\u201d I think a lot of it was just confusion; but I also\/I wasn\u2019t afraid to tell God, like: \u201cToday, I\u2019m mad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m sad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m completely confused; because I just found out another person, who doesn\u2019t even want to have a baby, is having a baby.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Mark and Holley Gerths\u2019 story of infertility is a story with a surprising twist at the end. We\u2019ll hear that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. I\u2019ve got to tell you guys\u2014I am really interested in hearing the story we\u2019re about to hear today. We sat down [at another location]\u2014we\u2019re talking to our guests\/our new friends, Mark and Holley Gerth\u2014and they started telling us this story. We said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWe\u2019ve got to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get you on the radio and have you tell your story.\u201d We don\u2019t know the details any more than our listeners do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know; I\u2019m excited too! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And before we introduce these friends to our listeners, we need to pause here and just remind <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners: \u201cWe\u2019ve got, now, less than four weeks to go before the end of the year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is a significant season for us at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We want to remind you of our financial needs, headed into yearend, and ask you to be a part of helping meet our need and making a donation at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014Ann and I were speaking a couple years ago at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in Hershey, Pennsylvania. [Sniffing] It smelled like chocolate all weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It did; it was wonderful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget a guy running up to me right before the last session; I hadn\u2019t met him all weekend. Long story short, he runs up to me\u2014I\u2019m on the stage, getting ready to speak\u2014and he says, \u201cHey, you need to jump off that stage right now and rip up my divorce papers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story is a long one, but I\u2019ll just say this\u2014I did jump off the stage, and I heard his story. It was basically: \u201cWe\u2019re at the end. We came to this just to check a box. Somebody paid our way; I thought this was a waste of time. God showed up; He saved our marriage. Tomorrow, we\u2019re supposed to get divorced; but today, we\u2019re going to go home, and we\u2019re going to make this thing work.\u201d I just thought, \u201cWhat a story!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I get chills just remembering that; because it was this <em>great<\/em> couple. They were so <em>excited<\/em> because they had never heard biblical truths about marriage. They started putting it into action even that day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, too\u2014I have had people come\/women come up to me, rip up papers right in front of me\u2014these divorce papers. I\u2019m telling you\u2014this makes a <em>difference<\/em> in marriages. It\u2019s made a difference in <em>our<\/em> marriage, and we want to keep giving these timeless truths to families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is what I don\u2019t think you, the listener, understands\u2014and this guy [whose marriage was saved] doesn\u2019t know this\u2014that moment doesn\u2019t happen in his marriage without partners, who financially support FamilyLife. He has <em>no idea<\/em> that we can\u2019t even do conferences like that; we can\u2019t do <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio like we\u2019re doing right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Some of <em>you<\/em> saved their marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re <em>givers<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; he has no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere we are, at yearend; and you\u2019re doing the same thing I\u2019m doing; you\u2019re thinking: \u201cOkay; am I going to give?\u201d and \u201cWhere am I going to give?\u201d I want to say, \u201cWe need you. We really, really need you.\u201d It\u2019s been, as we all know\u2014what a year! It\u2019s a moment for you to say, \u201cOkay; God, I want to give. I want to give generously, and I want to give to a ministry that makes a difference.\u201d There are <em>thousands<\/em> of stories like the one I just told you. Again, they don\u2019t happen without you; so I\u2019m inviting you: \u201cJoin us; make a difference. Give generously at yearend and watch what God does.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And think about this\u2014whatever you are able to do\/whatever the amount is\u2014it\u2019s going to be matched, dollar for dollar, because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry, who have said, \u201cWe will match every donation up to a total of $2 million.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> opportunity for us. Your donation\u2014whether it is $25 dollars, or $250, or $2,500, or more than that\u2014it\u2019s going to be matched, dollar for dollar, until that $2 million is drained from that fund. When you give a gift today, know that it\u2019s going to be matched and know that we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you two thank-you gifts: a flash drive that includes more than 100\/the top 100-plus <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> programs from the last 28 years: programs with Dennis and Barbara Rainey, with Dave and Ann Wilson, with guests we\u2019ve had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> By the way, <em>that\u2019s<\/em> a great Christmas gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>And<\/em> you\u2019re going to get one of the best marriage books out <em>this year<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Bob Lepine\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ll send you my book and the flash dive as a thank-you gift when you donate today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d and donate over the phone. Thank you, in advance, for whatever you are able to do; and on behalf of people, who are going to rip their divorce papers this coming year, thank you for the investment in their legacy. We appreciate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; let me introduce our friends, Mark and Holley Gerth. Mark and Holley, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve heard this is Mark\u2019s first-ever interview\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in all of life. Are you really excited? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Nervous. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s just a conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys were sharing with us, as we were getting to know them\u2014by the way, they live in Northwest Arkansas\u2014Holley is a <em>Wall Street Journal<\/em> best-selling author; she\u2019s written a brand-new book that we\u2019re going to talk about sometime later on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> called <em>The Powerful Purpose of Introverts<\/em>. Mark is involved in real estate. They are the parents of a 27-year-old daughter, who\u2014and here is the punch line, right at the beginning\u2014who you adopted when she was 20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; so let\u2019s go all the way back. Holley, at what point in your marriage did you start to go, \u201cI don\u2019t know that this is working the way it\u2019s supposed to work\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, we were about five years in; and we thought, \u201cOkay; time to start a family.\u201d Month after month, just nothing happened. Then, about a year-and-a-half in, I got pregnant; and we lost the baby at six weeks. Then we just couldn\u2019t get pregnant again. That went on for about a decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was not the story that we would have written; it was hard and painful. I did a lot of ugly crying in bathrooms and asking God, \u201cWhat in the world was going on?\u201d It was a hard journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You went to doctors, I\u2019m sure, and said, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d Did they have an answer for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Eventually, they said, \u201cProbably PCOS,\u201d which is pretty common, which meant that I likely didn\u2019t ovulate\u2014which, obviously, I did once; because I got pregnant\u2014but that was the best they could figure out. There wasn\u2019t anything really conclusive; we just knew there wasn\u2019t a baby coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was that hard to embrace and say, \u201cThis is\/this is my life\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely; I mean, looking back, it\u2019s easy to talk about it because, now, it\u2019s been a long time since I was in that place; but in the moment, it was heartbreaking and difficult. It was hard because all of my friends were getting pregnant, and I felt left behind. You don\u2019t think about all the different dimensions that it impacts, from your friendships to what you dream about for your future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you get your mind and heart around that? Did you come to a point, where you thought, \u201cOkay; this is just our story\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; I remember after we had our miscarriage, we went to our small group. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not going to tell them. I\u2019m just going to act like everything is fine. We\u2019re just going to get through this.\u201d It came to prayer request time, and I couldn\u2019t hold it together. I had sort of grown up, thinking I just had to be fine to make God look good; it wasn\u2019t okay to not be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, when I said, \u201cI\u2019m not okay\/we\u2019re not okay; this is what is going on\u2026\u201d I sort of waited for the rebukes\u2014and \u201cYou just need to have more faith,\u201d\u2014or whatever was coming. Instead, they just wrapped their arms around us and said, \u201cWe love you, and we\u2019ll walk through this with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver time, in a way I still fully can\u2019t explain, I felt like God started to heal my heart. In particular, one day, I felt like He took me to the third chapter of Genesis, where Eve is called the mother of all living. I felt like He said, \u201cHolley, every woman is a mother; because every woman brings life into the world in some way.\u201d I was doing that by birthing books. Even my first big book that came out, my small group had a book shower for me because they said, \u201cYou haven\u2019t gotten to have a baby shower. This book is your baby\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is so sweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand we\u2019re going to have a shower.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sort of thought, \u201cWell, maybe, that\u2019s the ending of our story\u2014is that I\u2019m going to birth books\u201d; but I just had this peace. People would say, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d I would say, \u201cI have a peace about it.\u201d They\u2019d look at me, like, \u201cYes; Sunday school answer\u2014get out your flannel board\u201d [Laughter]; but I was like\/then I would say, \u201c<em>No<\/em>; it\u2019s a kind of peace that comes after war. I have <em>fought<\/em> through this thing; I have these scars to <em>prove<\/em> it\u2014it is that kind of peace\u2014but God has done something that I could never do on my own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did your conversations sound like with God in those days? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> It depended on the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> I mean, early on, a lot of times, it was like, \u201cWhat in the world are You thinking? Where are You?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are You answering other people\u2019s prayers and not mine?\u201d\u2014I was confused about that\u2014or \u201cAm I wrong? Am I asking for something that, actually, I\u2019m not supposed to be asking for?\u201d I think a lot of it was just confusion, and I think there was a trust underneath. I also\/I wasn\u2019t afraid to tell God, like: \u201cToday, I\u2019m mad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m sad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m completely confused; because I just found out that another person, who doesn\u2019t even want to have a baby, is having a baby.\u201d I just sort of processed all of those emotions within, and that was a gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So tell us how you met the young woman who is, today, your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so one evening I watched a <em>20\/20<\/em> special about foster kids, who age out of the system. I just thought, \u201cThat is not okay! What do you mean they turn 18, and they kick you out?!\u2014and they say, \u2018Have a nice life.\u2019 Who is going to walk these people down the aisle? Who is going to rock their babies? Who is going to help them figure out their careers?\u201d\u2014because, really, we have parents longer as adults, most of the time, than we do even as kids. It just was one of those things I could not stop thinking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople would ask us, \u201cHave you thought about adoption?\u201d Eventually, I said, \u201cYes; but if we adopt, we are adopting a 20-year-old.\u201d [Laughter] That would make people look at us like we were <em>crazy<\/em>; but eventually, one of my friends said, \u201cWell, do you know about Saving Grace?\u201d It turned out that there was a transitional living home for foster girls\u2014who age out of the system or would otherwise be homeless\u2014being built in our town. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI emailed the founder, out of the blue, and said, \u201cI have this <em>crazy<\/em> dream of adopting a 20-year-old.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cI have this <em>crazy<\/em> dream of building this transitional home\u201d; but it was several more years. Then Becky, the founder, invited us to a banquet celebrating the accomplishments of some of the girls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went, and Lovelle, who is now our daughter, was there. We met her that night. It wasn\u2019t any big deal; it wasn\u2019t like the heavens parted and we knew right away. All the girls actually got one of my books, which I realized the other day, the title of the book she got was called <em>Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Lovelle started reading my book, and loved it, and texted me. I said, \u201cCan we have lunch sometime?\u201d She was like, \u201cOkay.\u201d I went over there and had lunch with her. I remember, at the end, she said, \u201cDo you have kids?\u201d I give her this short version. She said, \u201cWell, you can just be my mom.\u201d That was kind of the start of it. Then she met Mark. Over the next few months, it just became clear that she was our daughter; she was supposed to be part of our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us her story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> The short version is she was in and out of foster care. She was homeless before she went to Saving Grace, and she just did not have parents in any kind of real sense. She, like us, had kind of been like, \u201cOkay; this is my story. I\u2019m going to figure out how to make peace with it.\u201d She was really just in survival mode when we met her; but she always still, like we did, had that longing inside that: \u201cMaybe, this isn\u2019t the end of my story. Maybe, God is going to do something else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a <em>remarkable<\/em> young woman\u2014resilient and brave, has a <em>huge<\/em> heart, which you would think, after all she had been through, she would be in total lockdown\u2014but it just became clear to all of us that we were supposed to be a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What was that like bringing her? I mean, Mark, were you like in on this from the very beginning when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014when Holley\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Holley comes home? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014says, \u201cI think I\u2019ve found our daughter\u201d? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> You know, it was kind of like, \u201cOkay; let\u2019s see where this goes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you were game? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> I mean, I was open to it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> \u2014but I was like, \u201cOkay, this is a huge change for us,\u201d because we were comfortable where we were at\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> \u2014you know? I mean, comfort\u2014you don\u2019t always want to be <em>comfortable<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I can think, as a husband, there\u2019d be part of me, going, \u201cI kind of like just having us and not having somebody else to have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cshare it with\u201d; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes! That crossed my mind [Laughter]; it\u2019s like, \u201cHey, it\u2019s just us two. We can go and do. We\u2019ve been blessed, and we can share what we have with other people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLovelle just happened to come along, and she just happened to be one of those people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you guys have conversations, like, \u201cThis could be difficult or messy\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, we knew it was going to be difficult and messy because, when we first met Lovelle, she was like a brick wall when it came to letting people in. She had really hardened herself in a way she needed to in order to survive. It wasn\u2019t just that we met, and she instantly let us in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took a long time for her to believe that we were actually wanting to be in her life. When she ran a half-marathon, not long after we met her; and we went, and we waited for her at the finish line. We cheered her on, and she finished. She was like, \u201cWhy are you all here?\u201d We were like, \u201cTo cheer for you.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cWhy? But why?\u201d We were like, \u201cBecause we want to support you.\u201d \u201cBut why?\u201d She couldn\u2019t wrap her mind around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She never had that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She had never had that. She had never had someone cheering her on in life. I mean, she had\/she\u2019ll talk about teachers and different people God strategically placed in her life\u2014so I wouldn\u2019t say, \u201cnot at all\u201d\u2014but not people, who had said, \u201cWe are here in this parental kind of capacity, potentially.\u201d It took a while for her to let us in, and that was challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At what point, did the two of you decide: \u201cWe need to do more than just cheer her on. We need to give her our name and make her part of our family\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s so strange, because it wasn\u2019t like a one-time thing. You know, you think it\u2019s a black-and-white \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d; \u201cWe\u2019re in or out.\u201d We just kept spending time together, and it just felt like it happened really naturally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we decided, because she was about to get married, and there were some other complications; we decided changing her name was going to be the next step. We went to the courthouse and had her last name changed to ours. We call that Gerth-day; it\u2019s August 28. We celebrate it <em>every year<\/em> like a birthday. Our granddaughter was born on Gerth-day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh! That\u2019s so cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> That was like God saying, \u201cYou thought My timing was off; but the whole time, I had it down to the exact day.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking Gerth-day is 8-28, and Romans 8:28\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, that\u2019s good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> I hadn\u2019t thought of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014says, \u201cAll things work together for good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor those who love God who are called according to His purpose.\u201d There\u2019s that to add into that Gerth-day miracle when she became a Gerth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you went to her and said, \u201cWe want to adopt you,\u201d what did she say? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, she kind of said it to us, too; you know? It felt very like two-sided; you know?\u2014that we decided together: \u201cWe are going to be a family.\u201d I love that\u2014that it was so\/it felt mutual the whole time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s different when you have a little kiddo; they don\u2019t have the capacity as much to engage; but when you\u2019ve got a, by now, 21-year-old, she\u2019s like, \u201cI want to do this! Let\u2019s do this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She\u2019s choosing <em>you<\/em> as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes. <br><br><strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so that was really beautiful too. It didn\u2019t feel like we were rescuing her. If that was the case, she was rescuing us at the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, I think that we never saw her as someone like who needed us; I knew she would be alright. She is incredibly resilient; she would have found a way forward. We would have been alright, but it felt like we chose each other\u2014that we chose being a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How was your life different with <em>her<\/em> being in your family? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> It\u2019s definitely more active; [Laughter] it\u2019s encouraging\u2014you know, enjoy spending time seeing the grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I want to be a little careful here; because any time we\u2019ve talked about adoption on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, there can be this romantic\/heroic: \u201cYou do this, and everybody is happy; and they all cheer, and they all live happily ever after.\u201d It doesn\u2019t always work that way. Sometimes, you don\u2019t know what is behind the curtain when you make this choice. It\u2019s a painful choice for a lot of parents to make; but when you make this choice, you are saying: \u201cFor better or worse,\u201d \u201cFor richer or poorer,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s almost like a marriage vow. You went in with your eyes open to the fact that there might be some hard moments on the other side of this journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes, yes; it\u2019s interesting that you say \u201cmarriage vow\u201d; because we actually <em>finalized<\/em> the adoption\u2014like the new birth certificate part\u2014this year. We got assigned a random court date; it was our 20<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary. I was like, \u201cGod, You did it again! That\u2019s the day both of my people became legally mine forever\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So your daughter was how old on your 20<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Twenty-seven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; I\u2019m just trying to make sure everybody has the chronology here. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so it was; it was. We had a hard year last year; it felt like we kind of did her teenage year. Last May\u2014not this May but the one before\u2014we had a knock-down-drag-out fight. I mean, we just did interviews about how I\u2019m an introvert; and I yelled and pounded the table and said words that I don\u2019t always say. We finished; I was like, \u201cI have wrecked this. I have completely wrecked this.\u201d She looked at me, and she was like, \u201cI feel <em>so loved<\/em>.\u201d I was like, \u201cWhat in the world?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it was like she needed to know I was <em>that<\/em> engaged that\/like I could be <em>so mad<\/em> at her and still <em>love<\/em> her at the same time, because I don\u2019t think she\u2019d ever experienced that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She had never really had that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She had experienced us <em>choosing<\/em> not to be angry and loving her; but she had <em>not<\/em> experienced, \u201cMom, who never gets mad at anything, is <em>furious<\/em> at me and pounding the table; and she still loves me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She felt like a <em>true<\/em> daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She was like, \u201cY\u2019all are all in.\u201d I\/that was a turning point for us, and that was seven years in almost. It hasn\u2019t all been challenging; but yes, of course. If Lovelle were sitting here, she would tell you things that <em>we\u2019ve done<\/em> that have made her crazy; you know?\u2014because you get these people in your life when you are already grown up, and you\u2019ve got your own way of doing things and thinking about things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s an extreme extrovert; we\u2019re both introverts. I mean, you can\u2019t bring a bunch of people together and just expect it to all\u2014it\u2019s like a crock pot; it takes some time. You\u2019ve got to just give it time. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it is like a marriage too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It would be easier, I think, to walk away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> The whole year, I would pray about it; and I would picture this tether ball set in my childhood backyard. You have\u2014there is the pole, and there\u2019s the ball\u2014I felt like God said, \u201cJust be the pole; be the pole. Sometimes, she\u2019s going to be wrapped so tightly around you; you\u2019re going to feel like you cannot breathe. Sometimes, she\u2019s going to be so far out; you\u2019re not going to know where she is or what she is doing. Just be the pole.\u201d That\u2019s what I did\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told her that; she knows that now, on the other side of it. I said, \u201cI was supposed to be your pole, so that\u2019s what we did!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here are the four words that are echoing in my head from the end of Romans, Chapter 12: \u201cOvercome evil with good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cgood.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is what you guys have done; you stepped in with good in the midst of evil circumstances that Lovelle had <em>lived<\/em> with all her life. You overcame the evil in her life with the good that you brought. Bless you guys. Thanks for sharing your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Thanks for letting us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to make sure our listeners know\u2014on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014we have resources available to help you. If you\u2019re struggling with infertility, there are resources to help you through that. If you are thinking about adoption, there are resources available for that as well. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick reminder\u2014we mentioned this earlier today\u2014but we\u2019re hoping to hear from many of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners during the month of December. This is a critical month for ministries like ours, and we\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of a matching gift that\u2019s been made available\u2014a $2 million matching-gift fund. Every time you make a donation, here in the month of December, whatever donation you make, will be matched, dollar for dollar, until we get to that $2 million fund. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese funds are what will determine what FamilyLife is able to do in the year ahead. If you\u2019re a regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and you can make a yearend contribution\u2014maybe, you can do a little extra this year since there are some who can\u2019t do anything\u2014think about that, if you would. When you make a donation, in addition to your donation being matched, we have a couple of thank-you gifts we want to send you. My book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, is one of those gifts and a flash drive that has more than 100 of the best <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio programs of all time. We\u2019ll send those out to you, upon request, when you make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk to our friend, Nancy Guthrie, about how God does some of His best work in us and through us when we are completely empty\/we\u2019ve got nothing left. I think a lot of us are feeling that way this year, especially. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:38:05"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["34.88M"],"filesize_raw":["36569570"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306595.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306595.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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the possibility of a biological child was gone, God opened the eyes of Holley Gerth, and her husband, Mark, to the world of someone, who needed their love, as much as they longed to give it.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-12-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> After being married for five years, Mark and Holley Gerth decided to start a family, except they soon realized it wasn\u2019t going to happen the way they thought it would. They dealt with infertility for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Early on, a lot of times, it was like, \u201cWhere are You?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are You answering other people\u2019s prayers and not mine?\u201d or \u201cAm I wrong? Am I asking for something that\u2019s, actually, I\u2019m not supposed to be asking for?\u201d I think a lot of it was just confusion; but I also\/I wasn\u2019t afraid to tell God, like: \u201cToday, I\u2019m mad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m sad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m completely confused; because I just found out another person, who doesn\u2019t even want to have a baby, is having a baby.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Mark and Holley Gerths\u2019 story of infertility is a story with a surprising twist at the end. We\u2019ll hear that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. I\u2019ve got to tell you guys\u2014I am really interested in hearing the story we\u2019re about to hear today. We sat down [at another location]\u2014we\u2019re talking to our guests\/our new friends, Mark and Holley Gerth\u2014and they started telling us this story. We said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWe\u2019ve got to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get you on the radio and have you tell your story.\u201d We don\u2019t know the details any more than our listeners do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know; I\u2019m excited too! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And before we introduce these friends to our listeners, we need to pause here and just remind <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners: \u201cWe\u2019ve got, now, less than four weeks to go before the end of the year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is a significant season for us at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We want to remind you of our financial needs, headed into yearend, and ask you to be a part of helping meet our need and making a donation at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014Ann and I were speaking a couple years ago at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in Hershey, Pennsylvania. [Sniffing] It smelled like chocolate all weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It did; it was wonderful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget a guy running up to me right before the last session; I hadn\u2019t met him all weekend. Long story short, he runs up to me\u2014I\u2019m on the stage, getting ready to speak\u2014and he says, \u201cHey, you need to jump off that stage right now and rip up my divorce papers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story is a long one, but I\u2019ll just say this\u2014I did jump off the stage, and I heard his story. It was basically: \u201cWe\u2019re at the end. We came to this just to check a box. Somebody paid our way; I thought this was a waste of time. God showed up; He saved our marriage. Tomorrow, we\u2019re supposed to get divorced; but today, we\u2019re going to go home, and we\u2019re going to make this thing work.\u201d I just thought, \u201cWhat a story!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I get chills just remembering that; because it was this <em>great<\/em> couple. They were so <em>excited<\/em> because they had never heard biblical truths about marriage. They started putting it into action even that day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, too\u2014I have had people come\/women come up to me, rip up papers right in front of me\u2014these divorce papers. I\u2019m telling you\u2014this makes a <em>difference<\/em> in marriages. It\u2019s made a difference in <em>our<\/em> marriage, and we want to keep giving these timeless truths to families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is what I don\u2019t think you, the listener, understands\u2014and this guy [whose marriage was saved] doesn\u2019t know this\u2014that moment doesn\u2019t happen in his marriage without partners, who financially support FamilyLife. He has <em>no idea<\/em> that we can\u2019t even do conferences like that; we can\u2019t do <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio like we\u2019re doing right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Some of <em>you<\/em> saved their marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re <em>givers<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; he has no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere we are, at yearend; and you\u2019re doing the same thing I\u2019m doing; you\u2019re thinking: \u201cOkay; am I going to give?\u201d and \u201cWhere am I going to give?\u201d I want to say, \u201cWe need you. We really, really need you.\u201d It\u2019s been, as we all know\u2014what a year! It\u2019s a moment for you to say, \u201cOkay; God, I want to give. I want to give generously, and I want to give to a ministry that makes a difference.\u201d There are <em>thousands<\/em> of stories like the one I just told you. Again, they don\u2019t happen without you; so I\u2019m inviting you: \u201cJoin us; make a difference. Give generously at yearend and watch what God does.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And think about this\u2014whatever you are able to do\/whatever the amount is\u2014it\u2019s going to be matched, dollar for dollar, because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry, who have said, \u201cWe will match every donation up to a total of $2 million.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> opportunity for us. Your donation\u2014whether it is $25 dollars, or $250, or $2,500, or more than that\u2014it\u2019s going to be matched, dollar for dollar, until that $2 million is drained from that fund. When you give a gift today, know that it\u2019s going to be matched and know that we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you two thank-you gifts: a flash drive that includes more than 100\/the top 100-plus <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> programs from the last 28 years: programs with Dennis and Barbara Rainey, with Dave and Ann Wilson, with guests we\u2019ve had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> By the way, <em>that\u2019s<\/em> a great Christmas gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>And<\/em> you\u2019re going to get one of the best marriage books out <em>this year<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Bob Lepine\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ll send you my book and the flash dive as a thank-you gift when you donate today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d and donate over the phone. Thank you, in advance, for whatever you are able to do; and on behalf of people, who are going to rip their divorce papers this coming year, thank you for the investment in their legacy. We appreciate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; let me introduce our friends, Mark and Holley Gerth. Mark and Holley, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve heard this is Mark\u2019s first-ever interview\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in all of life. Are you really excited? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Nervous. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s just a conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys were sharing with us, as we were getting to know them\u2014by the way, they live in Northwest Arkansas\u2014Holley is a <em>Wall Street Journal<\/em> best-selling author; she\u2019s written a brand-new book that we\u2019re going to talk about sometime later on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> called <em>The Powerful Purpose of Introverts<\/em>. Mark is involved in real estate. They are the parents of a 27-year-old daughter, who\u2014and here is the punch line, right at the beginning\u2014who you adopted when she was 20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; so let\u2019s go all the way back. Holley, at what point in your marriage did you start to go, \u201cI don\u2019t know that this is working the way it\u2019s supposed to work\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, we were about five years in; and we thought, \u201cOkay; time to start a family.\u201d Month after month, just nothing happened. Then, about a year-and-a-half in, I got pregnant; and we lost the baby at six weeks. Then we just couldn\u2019t get pregnant again. That went on for about a decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was not the story that we would have written; it was hard and painful. I did a lot of ugly crying in bathrooms and asking God, \u201cWhat in the world was going on?\u201d It was a hard journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You went to doctors, I\u2019m sure, and said, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d Did they have an answer for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Eventually, they said, \u201cProbably PCOS,\u201d which is pretty common, which meant that I likely didn\u2019t ovulate\u2014which, obviously, I did once; because I got pregnant\u2014but that was the best they could figure out. There wasn\u2019t anything really conclusive; we just knew there wasn\u2019t a baby coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was that hard to embrace and say, \u201cThis is\/this is my life\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely; I mean, looking back, it\u2019s easy to talk about it because, now, it\u2019s been a long time since I was in that place; but in the moment, it was heartbreaking and difficult. It was hard because all of my friends were getting pregnant, and I felt left behind. You don\u2019t think about all the different dimensions that it impacts, from your friendships to what you dream about for your future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you get your mind and heart around that? Did you come to a point, where you thought, \u201cOkay; this is just our story\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; I remember after we had our miscarriage, we went to our small group. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not going to tell them. I\u2019m just going to act like everything is fine. We\u2019re just going to get through this.\u201d It came to prayer request time, and I couldn\u2019t hold it together. I had sort of grown up, thinking I just had to be fine to make God look good; it wasn\u2019t okay to not be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, when I said, \u201cI\u2019m not okay\/we\u2019re not okay; this is what is going on\u2026\u201d I sort of waited for the rebukes\u2014and \u201cYou just need to have more faith,\u201d\u2014or whatever was coming. Instead, they just wrapped their arms around us and said, \u201cWe love you, and we\u2019ll walk through this with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver time, in a way I still fully can\u2019t explain, I felt like God started to heal my heart. In particular, one day, I felt like He took me to the third chapter of Genesis, where Eve is called the mother of all living. I felt like He said, \u201cHolley, every woman is a mother; because every woman brings life into the world in some way.\u201d I was doing that by birthing books. Even my first big book that came out, my small group had a book shower for me because they said, \u201cYou haven\u2019t gotten to have a baby shower. This book is your baby\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is so sweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand we\u2019re going to have a shower.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sort of thought, \u201cWell, maybe, that\u2019s the ending of our story\u2014is that I\u2019m going to birth books\u201d; but I just had this peace. People would say, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d I would say, \u201cI have a peace about it.\u201d They\u2019d look at me, like, \u201cYes; Sunday school answer\u2014get out your flannel board\u201d [Laughter]; but I was like\/then I would say, \u201c<em>No<\/em>; it\u2019s a kind of peace that comes after war. I have <em>fought<\/em> through this thing; I have these scars to <em>prove<\/em> it\u2014it is that kind of peace\u2014but God has done something that I could never do on my own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did your conversations sound like with God in those days? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> It depended on the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> I mean, early on, a lot of times, it was like, \u201cWhat in the world are You thinking? Where are You?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are You answering other people\u2019s prayers and not mine?\u201d\u2014I was confused about that\u2014or \u201cAm I wrong? Am I asking for something that, actually, I\u2019m not supposed to be asking for?\u201d I think a lot of it was just confusion, and I think there was a trust underneath. I also\/I wasn\u2019t afraid to tell God, like: \u201cToday, I\u2019m mad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m sad,\u201d \u201cToday, I\u2019m completely confused; because I just found out that another person, who doesn\u2019t even want to have a baby, is having a baby.\u201d I just sort of processed all of those emotions within, and that was a gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So tell us how you met the young woman who is, today, your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so one evening I watched a <em>20\/20<\/em> special about foster kids, who age out of the system. I just thought, \u201cThat is not okay! What do you mean they turn 18, and they kick you out?!\u2014and they say, \u2018Have a nice life.\u2019 Who is going to walk these people down the aisle? Who is going to rock their babies? Who is going to help them figure out their careers?\u201d\u2014because, really, we have parents longer as adults, most of the time, than we do even as kids. It just was one of those things I could not stop thinking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople would ask us, \u201cHave you thought about adoption?\u201d Eventually, I said, \u201cYes; but if we adopt, we are adopting a 20-year-old.\u201d [Laughter] That would make people look at us like we were <em>crazy<\/em>; but eventually, one of my friends said, \u201cWell, do you know about Saving Grace?\u201d It turned out that there was a transitional living home for foster girls\u2014who age out of the system or would otherwise be homeless\u2014being built in our town. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI emailed the founder, out of the blue, and said, \u201cI have this <em>crazy<\/em> dream of adopting a 20-year-old.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cI have this <em>crazy<\/em> dream of building this transitional home\u201d; but it was several more years. Then Becky, the founder, invited us to a banquet celebrating the accomplishments of some of the girls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went, and Lovelle, who is now our daughter, was there. We met her that night. It wasn\u2019t any big deal; it wasn\u2019t like the heavens parted and we knew right away. All the girls actually got one of my books, which I realized the other day, the title of the book she got was called <em>Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Lovelle started reading my book, and loved it, and texted me. I said, \u201cCan we have lunch sometime?\u201d She was like, \u201cOkay.\u201d I went over there and had lunch with her. I remember, at the end, she said, \u201cDo you have kids?\u201d I give her this short version. She said, \u201cWell, you can just be my mom.\u201d That was kind of the start of it. Then she met Mark. Over the next few months, it just became clear that she was our daughter; she was supposed to be part of our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us her story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> The short version is she was in and out of foster care. She was homeless before she went to Saving Grace, and she just did not have parents in any kind of real sense. She, like us, had kind of been like, \u201cOkay; this is my story. I\u2019m going to figure out how to make peace with it.\u201d She was really just in survival mode when we met her; but she always still, like we did, had that longing inside that: \u201cMaybe, this isn\u2019t the end of my story. Maybe, God is going to do something else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a <em>remarkable<\/em> young woman\u2014resilient and brave, has a <em>huge<\/em> heart, which you would think, after all she had been through, she would be in total lockdown\u2014but it just became clear to all of us that we were supposed to be a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What was that like bringing her? I mean, Mark, were you like in on this from the very beginning when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014when Holley\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Holley comes home? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014says, \u201cI think I\u2019ve found our daughter\u201d? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> You know, it was kind of like, \u201cOkay; let\u2019s see where this goes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So you were game? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> I mean, I was open to it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> \u2014but I was like, \u201cOkay, this is a huge change for us,\u201d because we were comfortable where we were at\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> \u2014you know? I mean, comfort\u2014you don\u2019t always want to be <em>comfortable<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I can think, as a husband, there\u2019d be part of me, going, \u201cI kind of like just having us and not having somebody else to have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cshare it with\u201d; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes! That crossed my mind [Laughter]; it\u2019s like, \u201cHey, it\u2019s just us two. We can go and do. We\u2019ve been blessed, and we can share what we have with other people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLovelle just happened to come along, and she just happened to be one of those people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you guys have conversations, like, \u201cThis could be difficult or messy\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, we knew it was going to be difficult and messy because, when we first met Lovelle, she was like a brick wall when it came to letting people in. She had really hardened herself in a way she needed to in order to survive. It wasn\u2019t just that we met, and she instantly let us in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took a long time for her to believe that we were actually wanting to be in her life. When she ran a half-marathon, not long after we met her; and we went, and we waited for her at the finish line. We cheered her on, and she finished. She was like, \u201cWhy are you all here?\u201d We were like, \u201cTo cheer for you.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cWhy? But why?\u201d We were like, \u201cBecause we want to support you.\u201d \u201cBut why?\u201d She couldn\u2019t wrap her mind around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She never had that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She had never had that. She had never had someone cheering her on in life. I mean, she had\/she\u2019ll talk about teachers and different people God strategically placed in her life\u2014so I wouldn\u2019t say, \u201cnot at all\u201d\u2014but not people, who had said, \u201cWe are here in this parental kind of capacity, potentially.\u201d It took a while for her to let us in, and that was challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At what point, did the two of you decide: \u201cWe need to do more than just cheer her on. We need to give her our name and make her part of our family\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s so strange, because it wasn\u2019t like a one-time thing. You know, you think it\u2019s a black-and-white \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d; \u201cWe\u2019re in or out.\u201d We just kept spending time together, and it just felt like it happened really naturally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we decided, because she was about to get married, and there were some other complications; we decided changing her name was going to be the next step. We went to the courthouse and had her last name changed to ours. We call that Gerth-day; it\u2019s August 28. We celebrate it <em>every year<\/em> like a birthday. Our granddaughter was born on Gerth-day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh! That\u2019s so cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> That was like God saying, \u201cYou thought My timing was off; but the whole time, I had it down to the exact day.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking Gerth-day is 8-28, and Romans 8:28\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, that\u2019s good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> I hadn\u2019t thought of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014says, \u201cAll things work together for good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor those who love God who are called according to His purpose.\u201d There\u2019s that to add into that Gerth-day miracle when she became a Gerth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you went to her and said, \u201cWe want to adopt you,\u201d what did she say? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, she kind of said it to us, too; you know? It felt very like two-sided; you know?\u2014that we decided together: \u201cWe are going to be a family.\u201d I love that\u2014that it was so\/it felt mutual the whole time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s different when you have a little kiddo; they don\u2019t have the capacity as much to engage; but when you\u2019ve got a, by now, 21-year-old, she\u2019s like, \u201cI want to do this! Let\u2019s do this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She\u2019s choosing <em>you<\/em> as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong> Yes. <br><br><strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so that was really beautiful too. It didn\u2019t feel like we were rescuing her. If that was the case, she was rescuing us at the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Well, I think that we never saw her as someone like who needed us; I knew she would be alright. She is incredibly resilient; she would have found a way forward. We would have been alright, but it felt like we chose each other\u2014that we chose being a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How was your life different with <em>her<\/em> being in your family? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> It\u2019s definitely more active; [Laughter] it\u2019s encouraging\u2014you know, enjoy spending time seeing the grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I want to be a little careful here; because any time we\u2019ve talked about adoption on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, there can be this romantic\/heroic: \u201cYou do this, and everybody is happy; and they all cheer, and they all live happily ever after.\u201d It doesn\u2019t always work that way. Sometimes, you don\u2019t know what is behind the curtain when you make this choice. It\u2019s a painful choice for a lot of parents to make; but when you make this choice, you are saying: \u201cFor better or worse,\u201d \u201cFor richer or poorer,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s almost like a marriage vow. You went in with your eyes open to the fact that there might be some hard moments on the other side of this journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes, yes; it\u2019s interesting that you say \u201cmarriage vow\u201d; because we actually <em>finalized<\/em> the adoption\u2014like the new birth certificate part\u2014this year. We got assigned a random court date; it was our 20<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary. I was like, \u201cGod, You did it again! That\u2019s the day both of my people became legally mine forever\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So your daughter was how old on your 20<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Twenty-seven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; I\u2019m just trying to make sure everybody has the chronology here. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes; so it was; it was. We had a hard year last year; it felt like we kind of did her teenage year. Last May\u2014not this May but the one before\u2014we had a knock-down-drag-out fight. I mean, we just did interviews about how I\u2019m an introvert; and I yelled and pounded the table and said words that I don\u2019t always say. We finished; I was like, \u201cI have wrecked this. I have completely wrecked this.\u201d She looked at me, and she was like, \u201cI feel <em>so loved<\/em>.\u201d I was like, \u201cWhat in the world?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it was like she needed to know I was <em>that<\/em> engaged that\/like I could be <em>so mad<\/em> at her and still <em>love<\/em> her at the same time, because I don\u2019t think she\u2019d ever experienced that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She had never really had that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She had experienced us <em>choosing<\/em> not to be angry and loving her; but she had <em>not<\/em> experienced, \u201cMom, who never gets mad at anything, is <em>furious<\/em> at me and pounding the table; and she still loves me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She felt like a <em>true<\/em> daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> She was like, \u201cY\u2019all are all in.\u201d I\/that was a turning point for us, and that was seven years in almost. It hasn\u2019t all been challenging; but yes, of course. If Lovelle were sitting here, she would tell you things that <em>we\u2019ve done<\/em> that have made her crazy; you know?\u2014because you get these people in your life when you are already grown up, and you\u2019ve got your own way of doing things and thinking about things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s an extreme extrovert; we\u2019re both introverts. I mean, you can\u2019t bring a bunch of people together and just expect it to all\u2014it\u2019s like a crock pot; it takes some time. You\u2019ve got to just give it time. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it is like a marriage too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It would be easier, I think, to walk away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> The whole year, I would pray about it; and I would picture this tether ball set in my childhood backyard. You have\u2014there is the pole, and there\u2019s the ball\u2014I felt like God said, \u201cJust be the pole; be the pole. Sometimes, she\u2019s going to be wrapped so tightly around you; you\u2019re going to feel like you cannot breathe. Sometimes, she\u2019s going to be so far out; you\u2019re not going to know where she is or what she is doing. Just be the pole.\u201d That\u2019s what I did\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told her that; she knows that now, on the other side of it. I said, \u201cI was supposed to be your pole, so that\u2019s what we did!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here are the four words that are echoing in my head from the end of Romans, Chapter 12: \u201cOvercome evil with good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cgood.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is what you guys have done; you stepped in with good in the midst of evil circumstances that Lovelle had <em>lived<\/em> with all her life. You overcame the evil in her life with the good that you brought. Bless you guys. Thanks for sharing your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holley:<\/strong> Thanks for letting us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to make sure our listeners know\u2014on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014we have resources available to help you. If you\u2019re struggling with infertility, there are resources to help you through that. If you are thinking about adoption, there are resources available for that as well. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick reminder\u2014we mentioned this earlier today\u2014but we\u2019re hoping to hear from many of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners during the month of December. This is a critical month for ministries like ours, and we\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of a matching gift that\u2019s been made available\u2014a $2 million matching-gift fund. Every time you make a donation, here in the month of December, whatever donation you make, will be matched, dollar for dollar, until we get to that $2 million fund. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese funds are what will determine what FamilyLife is able to do in the year ahead. If you\u2019re a regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and you can make a yearend contribution\u2014maybe, you can do a little extra this year since there are some who can\u2019t do anything\u2014think about that, if you would. When you make a donation, in addition to your donation being matched, we have a couple of thank-you gifts we want to send you. My book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, is one of those gifts and a flash drive that has more than 100 of the best <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio programs of all time. We\u2019ll send those out to you, upon request, when you make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk to our friend, Nancy Guthrie, about how God does some of His best work in us and through us when we are completely empty\/we\u2019ve got nothing left. I think a lot of us are feeling that way this year, especially. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306595"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306595"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306595"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306595"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}