{"id":306532,"date":"2020-11-09T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-11-09T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-love-is-preeminent\/"},"modified":"2020-11-09T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-11-09T12:00:05","slug":"why-love-is-preeminent","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-love-is-preeminent\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Love Is Preeminent"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most people think of love as a strong feeling, but according to Bob Lepine, that is far from how the Scriptures define love. Lepine tells what he has learned about love over 41 years with his wife, Mary Ann.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:02","filesize":"23.84M","filesize_raw":"24996543","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2885,2810],"tags":[2877],"podcast_series":[8407],"cwp_profile":[3142],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306532","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-good-marriages-made-better","category-growing-spiritually","tag-marriage","podcast_series-the-qualities-of-biblical-love","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306532\/why-love-is-preeminent","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306532\/why-love-is-preeminent","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ChG4ZzJX8P\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-love-is-preeminent\/\">Why Love Is Preeminent<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-love-is-preeminent\/embed\/#?secret=ChG4ZzJX8P\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Why Love Is Preeminent&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ChG4ZzJX8P\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you ever find yourself wondering, \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t my marriage measure up to the love stories that I see in movies?\u201d [Laughter] Okay; you just need to get <em>real<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Everything that she wanted out of life, and everything she saw out of life was based on <em>The Notebook<\/em>. I don\u2019t want no parts of <em>The Notebook<\/em>. We\u2019re not ever going to be out in the rain, kissing. Maybe, we might be out in the rain, kissing, one day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> \u2014maybe one day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>I\u2019ll accept that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Yes; but it\u2019s not going to be a huge love story behind it, outside of the fact that we\u2019re real people, and we don\u2019t like each other sometimes. We always love each other, but you can dislike somebody and love them at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Time for some recalibration\/time for a reality check when it comes to what real love is supposed to look like. Let\u2019s do that today; okay? Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us for the Monday edition. I\u2019m ready for a revolution; you know? I think it\u2019s about time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You want me to grab my guitar?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou say you want a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014play a little bit? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s about time for there to be a revolution in marriages around what love is supposed to look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think I know someone who wrote about this. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! I think it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> good, and this is exciting\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re sitting beside a famous\/famous author. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is something I\u2019m pretty passionate about. I did write a book called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>; it comes out of years, talking to couples at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s good, practical, biblical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve noticed that couples\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014don\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014they think about love and marriage from a cultural standpoint, not from a biblical standpoint. You\u2019ve seen that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. I think we all agree\u2014it\u2019s always been true\u2014I think there\u2019s something in our culture\u2014I don\u2019t know; last decade or more?\u2014it\u2019s <em>dominating<\/em> how we view love; it\u2019s social media; there\u2019s shows like <em>The Bachelor<\/em> and <em>The Bachelorette<\/em>. Again, I\u2019m not saying they\u2019re terrible shows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think\u2014excuse me\u2014I thought you were going to <em>be<\/em> Prince Charming\u2014[Laughter]\u2014not that you\u2019re not!\u2014but it just looks a little different than I had <em>anticipated<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which makes the point: \u201cit\u2019s always been\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve always had misconceptions compared to reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong><em>You<\/em> [Bob] decided: \u201cLet\u2019s go and find out what the Author\/the Creator of love has to say.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly; you read 1 Corinthians 13, and you see a <em>whole different<\/em> picture of love than what you see in rom coms, or what you hear about in pop songs. I wrote the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>; it came out this year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team said, \u201cWe need to come up with something that would take this book and make it accessible for couples to go through together with other couples, have conversations around these subjects.\u201d We\u2019re about to release a small group video series for <em>Love Like You Mean It.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s exciting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is exciting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s good too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was really encouraged by how it turned out. Some of the people we had participate in this process brought a lot to it. Each of these video sessions is about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes long. It\u2019s easy to do in an adult Sunday school or a small group; you can do it online if you\u2019ve got a Zoom small group that you\u2019re doing these days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Can you just do it as a couple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; it something\/we designed it so that you could use it for pre-marital engagement or one-on-one mentoring with other couples. It\u2019s ten sessions long, but it\u2019s also designed so it can be a \u201cChoose your own\u201d: if you say, \u201cWe\u2019ve only got six weeks to go through something like this,\u201d\u2014well, you do the first and the last, and you pick the middle ones you want to go through\u2014there\u2019s even an assessment you can take to help you determine: \u201cWhich are the ones you need to pay more attention to?\u201d as you go through this series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good idea; we should go through that assessment, Dave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should!\u2014we should give you the assessment and share with our listeners what your strengths and weaknesses are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Maybe we shouldn\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want our listeners to get a little sample of this and to hear some of what\u2019s behind the big idea. This is an excerpt from Session One of the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> small group series, where we talk about the fact that our expectations related to love and marriage are often different than the reality that we experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if you had experience with online dating sites back before you were married. I\u2019m clearly old enough that, before I was married, no such thing existed. I also know some of you are sitting here and that\u2019s how you met one another\u2014was through technology. One of the things I\u2019m told from people, who have been on these sites, is that sometimes the profile picture that you see on the site is not the same as the real life image when you finally meet that person. You\u2019ve got a nice airbrushed glamour shot on the website; then, you meet for coffee; and you go, \u201cOh, you look a little different than you did on the website.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that can also apply to how we think about love and marriage before we\u2019re married versus after we\u2019re married. I think we have this image that love and marriage are going to be this wonderful, beautiful, magical, always romantic, always joy-filled experience. We see the airbrushed image\/the glamour shot; and then, we get married and go, \u201cIt\u2019s like that sometimes when you put a little makeup on; but the rest of the time, it\u2019s kind of\u00a0 ordinary. It\u2019s a little more mundane.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We met at a track meet; We technically met over the phone. When she pulled up to Buffalo Wild Wings, for our karaoke night with my college buddies, she got out of the car. I chose her in that moment; I said, \u201cI choose you,\u201d\u2014like Pikachu\u2014\u201cHere we go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> We met at kickball; I wouldn\u2019t say it was love at first sight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> In the beginning of this relationship, aside from any other relationship, I prayed for him. I told my parents, \u201cThis is going to be my husband,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cPray for him,\u201d \u201cPray for us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> Oh, you did? [Laughter] Oh, the truth shall set you free. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> We met at church; and no, it was not love at first sight. He was a rapper, and I did not enjoy rap music. So, no; it wasn\u2019t love at first sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> You stole my rapper line. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> Oh, sorry! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> For me, it was love at first sight. We met when I was 15. My sister was dating his best friend, and she wanted to visit him at his job. Carlos worked there as well. He came out to say hello. I saw him; I thought, \u201cWho is that?!\u201d But he doesn\u2019t remember that encounter. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carlos:<\/strong> She was too young at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We actually met online, and not love at first sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>That\u2019s awful! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cYou know, this guy is really nice; and he\u2019s widowed like me, and so I need to just\u2026.\u201d We went out on a couple of dates. After awhile, I was like, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t think we should go any further. Our situations are too different.\u201d He told me\/he said, \u201cI believe that you are the one that God has for me. I prayed about it, and I believe that you\u2019re the one that God has for me.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you better pray about it for <em>me<\/em>, then, because God has not told me that!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> I saw her from across the room, and I told one of my friends, \u201cOooh; I\u2019m going to get to know her.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> I did go ahead and call him after that weekend. He gets on the phone; he says, \u201cHey, baby; how are you?\u201d I said, \u201cUm; I\u2019m not your baby, and you don\u2019t know me like that. We don\u2019t even know each other. Why don\u2019t you write me a letter and tell me a little more about yourself?\u201d thinking that he would never write me. I was really trying to brush him off; but he actually wrote me, and sprayed cologne in the card, and sent me a little gift with it. When I read the card, that\u2019s when I fell in love, just by reading the words in the card. He was really a great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> We met on a blind date. We both say it was truly God\u2019s will for us to get married, because it is not in my personality to go on a blind date. It is not in his personality to <em>ask<\/em> anybody on a blind date. Was it love at first sight?\u2014it was <em>like<\/em> at first sight, for sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> \u2014like at first sight; not love at first sight. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, why did we have these na\u00efve illusions about what marriage and love would be? Well, because we watch movies, or we read Jane Austen novels, or we listen to pop songs. We think this is what the world is supposed to be\/this is what <em>marriage<\/em> is supposed to be; so we come into marriage with this highly romantic, highly emotion-based view of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAuthor and pastor, Dr. Gary Chapman, calls it the \u201ctingles,\u201d\u2014I like that\u2014and I like the tingles; right? We all like the tingles when we feel them in marriage. But as \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Chapman says, the tingles will not sustain you through a lifetime of marriage. The tingles will come and go. When they come, it\u2019s great; and when they\u2019re gone, we miss them. But that\u2019s not what real love is all about in the first place\u2014may be an aspect of our love for one another\u2014but it\u2019s not the foundation of our love for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what this series is all about: \u201cHow do we get a better understanding of what the Bible describes as the foundation for love in marriage? How do we build a marriage on the foundation that is described for us in the Bible?\u201d It\u2019s a foundation\/it\u2019s a kind of love that has fiber, and grit, and substance to it. That\u2019s the kind of love we need to build a marriage on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGratefully, the Bible describes that for us in 1 Corinthians 13. You\u2019ve probably heard that passage of Scripture\/maybe read it yourself; but have we really stopped to think deeply about it?\u2014to ponder it; to dig down and say, \u201cWhat does this passage tell us about what real love is supposed to look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a little like our wedding vows\u2014you remember, when we got married, and they said, \u201cDo you promise to love, honor, and cherish?\u201d\u2014we heard those words and we thought, \u201cYes, of course; I promise to do that.\u201d But did we really stop to think: \u201cWhat does love, and honor, and cherish\u2014what does that look like? What does that mean? What does that <em>require<\/em> of me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat vow to love, honor, and cherish is not a vow that I will always feel a certain way about you in marriage. It\u2019s a vow that I will always <em>choose<\/em> to act a certain way\u2014I will always make <em>choices<\/em> that are loving, and honoring, and cherishing\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re <em>promising<\/em> one another. That\u2019s a big promise, but that\u2019s the promise that we made when we married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting to see how people look at social media and look at love and look at families. In the beginning of our marriage, I always said, when we got in an argument, that she wanted us to be like <em>The Notebook. The Notebook <\/em>is the defining movie for me\u2014I\u2019ve never seen it; I would never watch it\u2014but I\u2019ve seen enough of the credits and the previews to know that everything that she wanted out of life, and everything she saw out of life, was based on <em>The Notebook<\/em>. I don\u2019t want no parts of <em>The Notebook<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>It\u2019s my favorite movie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We\u2019re not ever going to be out in the rain, kissing. Maybe, we might be out in the rain, kissing, one day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> \u2014maybe one day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> I\u2019ll accept that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Yes; but it\u2019s not going to be a huge love story behind it, outside of the fact that we\u2019re real people, and we don\u2019t like each other sometimes. We always love each other, but we dislike us sometimes\u2014that\u2019s what we always tell people: \u201cYou can dislike somebody and love them at the same time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that fun? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That guy is as <em>real<\/em> as they get.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We wanted to bring <em>real<\/em> life and make this a real-life thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You mean real in that every woman wants her marriage to be like <em>The Notebook<\/em>? [Laughter] Yes?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014<em>The Notebook. <\/em>[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I love you, and sometimes I don\u2019t like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t love you. It\u2019s hard; it\u2019s messy, but I still love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann and I would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you telling me something there? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When Mary Ann and I are talking to an engaged couple, I will often say, \u201cNow look; marriage is going to be harder than you realize.\u201d Mary Ann will say, \u201cAnd it\u2019s <em>wonderful<\/em>.\u201d And I will say, \u201cYes; and it\u2019s harder than you realize,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s <em>wonderful<\/em>,\u201d\u2014because you want them to understand\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You want them to be <em>excited<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cThis is <em>great<\/em> and it\u2019s hard, simultaneously; but it\u2019s so worth what it\u2019s all about.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And they won\u2019t know you\u2019re telling them the truth until they\u2019re in that reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We go on in the series to take couples to the source material for where you find what love is all about; and that\u2019s the Bible. Let\u2019s listen to another excerpt from the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me read the biblical description of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and remind us of what the Bible says here. You probably heard these words before, but I want us to think carefully and deeply about this. As I read this passage, you might be thinking: \u201cDoes this sound like me? Is this describing me? Am I this kind of person?\u201d You can take the word, \u201clove,\u201d out\u2014and put your name in\u2014and say, \u201cWould these things be true about me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo that as I read 1 Corinthians 13, starting at verse 4. The Bible says, \u201cLove is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong-doing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the kind of love that is the right kind of foundation for a marriage to thrive\/for couples to flourish. With this foundation in place, marriage can be what God designed for it to be. But when we settle for something less than this\u2014when we try to build our marriage on something that is a less firm foundation than this kind of gritty love that\u2019s being described here\u2014we\u2019ll have a less-than-fulfilling and less-than-God-honoring marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it takes work; there are no shortcuts. This is hard to pursue; you don\u2019t just fall in to this kind of love. This is the kind of love that has to be worked on, has to be cultivated, has to be nurtured. Let me add this: \u201cWhen this love is <em>not<\/em> present in a marriage, whatever else that marriage might be\u201d\u2014it might be a happy marriage; you might be mutually-appealing to one another; you might get along well with one another; you can co-exist; you can have an okay marriage without this kind of love\u2014\u201cbut what you can <em>never<\/em> have is the kind of marriage that God intended or that glorifies Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might be the ideal spouse: you\u2019re charming; you\u2019re responsible; you\u2019re good-looking; you\u2019re successful; you\u2019re fun-loving; you\u2019re intelligent\u2014you\u2019re all of these wonderful things\u2014but 1 Corinthians 13 says it doesn\u2019t matter how gifted you are, how skilled you are, how noble you are\u2014if love is absent, then what you\u2019ve got on the other side is <em>nothing.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you hear that? It says everything, minus love, equals <em>nothing<\/em>; that\u2019s the calculation in the Bible. Without love, you don\u2019t have anything that honors God; you don\u2019t have anything that pleases God. You might have a nice marriage; but unless you have the <em>greater<\/em> love that the Bible talks about\u2014a love that lays down its life for others\u2014then it\u2019s always going to be less than fully satisfying for you, and it\u2019s <em>never<\/em> going to be the kind of marriage that displays God in His glory to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if there was really a specific instance; but I remember, early on, feeling like, \u201cOkay; this is going to take leaning in.\u201d Love is not obviously just butterflies and all these mushy feelings all the time\u2014I knew that going into marriage\u2014but then a few months after we\u2019d gotten married, I was like, \u201cThis means having hard conversations and admitting I\u2019m wrong; and admitting that I lashed out; or I was impatient\u2014or fill in the blank.\u201d It\u2019s having conversations that aren\u2019t always fun, and I\u2019m not good at that at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re [to husband] way better at admitting, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this; we need to figure this out.\u201d I would just rather avoid it. I needed to realize, \u201cIf this is going to work\/if I\u2019m going to love you the way I need to, I need to really lean into this and have the kind of conversations that we need to have.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband: <\/strong>Yes; I think I quickly understood that we were at different places, mentally and spiritually\u2014I feel like not behind each other or anything\u2014but just in different places. Understanding who she was and how she processed things was a huge part of that in growing. I can be the kind of person who wants to handle it right then and there, and \u201cLet\u2019s get it over with.\u201d She needs to think about it and talk through it. I think that was a big part in the first year of our marriage\u2014really understanding each other, and where we were at, and how we liked to process things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Our relationship, as husband and wife, should have, at its core, a passionate commitment to want to see the other person in our marriage thrive, to see them excel, to see them be the person God wants them to be. God wants us to experience, in marriage, a taste of the joy that the Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit have experienced in their union\/in their oneness throughout eternity as they have loved one another with perfect unity. God says, \u201cI want your marriage to give you a taste of the joy that We\u2019ve experienced and the joy that you\u2019re invited into, as a son or daughter of God, and that you will experience for eternity with Us as you surrender your life to Christ.\u201d That\u2019s what this study is all about\u2014that kind of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you, who are very practically-minded people, you may find yourself a little frustrated in this series, thinking, \u201cI looked through the manual. Where\u2019s the section o sex?\u201d or \u201c\u2026finances?\u201d or \u201c\u2026communication?\u201d or \u201c\u2026parenting?\u201d or \u201c\u2026conflict resolution?\u201d Those are all common issues we face in marriage\u2014and they\u2019re not unimportant issues\u2014they\u2019re issues that need to be addressed, and biblical wisdom needs to be brought to those issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019m suggesting in this series is that: \u201cBefore we focus on <em>those<\/em> issues, let\u2019s focus on the foundation. Let\u2019 s make sure we understand what love is. Let\u2019s make sure we understand what we\u2019re to build our marriage on. If we understand what love is and if we get the foundation right, that\u2019s going to affect our communication; that\u2019s going to affect our conflict resolution, our parenting, our finances, our sexual intimacy. All of those manifestations of love\/all those practical realities of love will grow best when they grow in the soil of the kind of love that\u2019s defined for us here in the Bible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s get ready to look carefully at what the Bible says real love looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening, again, to an excerpt from the new <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series that\u2019s about to be released by FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a series for couples to go through with other couples in a small group; a mentor couple with a younger couple; husband and wife could go through this on their own and have a conversation about it. We want couples to start thinking more biblically about love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; what if I\u2019m a wife, who has a husband, who isn\u2019t interested?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think you could say to your spouse, \u201cHey, I want to show you a ten-minute video clip.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Good idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Show him the first half of Session One and say, \u201cIs this something we could do together?\u201d or \u201c\u2026do with other couples?\u201d I think a lot of spouses\/maybe a lot of husbands\u2014they hear about something like this\u2014and they go, \u201cOh, I don\u2019t want to. This is just going to be ten sessions of <em>torture<\/em> for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cof what I should do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And maybe watching a little bit of it, they would go, \u201cYes, this would be okay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019d just say to the man: \u201cDude, do this; do this. I mean it! You don\u2019t think this is going to help? There\u2019s one thing: to do it [watch] with your wife; that\u2019s great. You do it [watch] with other couples; and you see how real\/their marriage and your marriage are similar in struggles. You hear God\u2019s Word; God\u2019s going to show up and do something.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Couples, who have been through your <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, this could be the follow-up from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Perfect follow-up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019d be great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And couples, who haven\u2019t gone through <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>, should check it out as well. In fact, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to find out more about the new <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series, or about the <em>Vertical Marriage <\/em>video series, or about the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series. We\u2019ve got a lot of resources available. You\u2019ll find the information on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call if you have any questions. Call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Call to order the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series or if you have any questions about any of the other series we have available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say a word of thanks to those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and make these resources possible, especially our monthly Legacy Partners. Legacy Partners provide the financial stability\/the backbone for this ministry, month in and month out. You make it possible for us to consistently provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. You keep this program on the air on your local station and on stations all around the country, so thank you for your partnership with us. We hope you realize there are hundreds of thousands of husbands and wives\/moms and dads, who are benefitting every day as a result of your financial investment. We appreciate you, and we\u2019re grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the unusual place the Bible begins in defining what real love looks like\u2014the first word\/the first description for love. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:02"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.84M"],"filesize_raw":["24996543"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306532.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306532.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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people think of love as a strong feeling, but according to Bob Lepine, that is far from how the Scriptures define love. Lepine tells what he has learned about love over 41 years with his wife, Mary Ann.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you ever find yourself wondering, \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t my marriage measure up to the love stories that I see in movies?\u201d [Laughter] Okay; you just need to get <em>real<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Everything that she wanted out of life, and everything she saw out of life was based on <em>The Notebook<\/em>. I don\u2019t want no parts of <em>The Notebook<\/em>. We\u2019re not ever going to be out in the rain, kissing. Maybe, we might be out in the rain, kissing, one day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> \u2014maybe one day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>I\u2019ll accept that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Yes; but it\u2019s not going to be a huge love story behind it, outside of the fact that we\u2019re real people, and we don\u2019t like each other sometimes. We always love each other, but you can dislike somebody and love them at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Time for some recalibration\/time for a reality check when it comes to what real love is supposed to look like. Let\u2019s do that today; okay? Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us for the Monday edition. I\u2019m ready for a revolution; you know? I think it\u2019s about time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You want me to grab my guitar?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou say you want a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014play a little bit? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s about time for there to be a revolution in marriages around what love is supposed to look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think I know someone who wrote about this. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! I think it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> good, and this is exciting\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re sitting beside a famous\/famous author. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is something I\u2019m pretty passionate about. I did write a book called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>; it comes out of years, talking to couples at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s good, practical, biblical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve noticed that couples\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014don\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014they think about love and marriage from a cultural standpoint, not from a biblical standpoint. You\u2019ve seen that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. I think we all agree\u2014it\u2019s always been true\u2014I think there\u2019s something in our culture\u2014I don\u2019t know; last decade or more?\u2014it\u2019s <em>dominating<\/em> how we view love; it\u2019s social media; there\u2019s shows like <em>The Bachelor<\/em> and <em>The Bachelorette<\/em>. Again, I\u2019m not saying they\u2019re terrible shows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think\u2014excuse me\u2014I thought you were going to <em>be<\/em> Prince Charming\u2014[Laughter]\u2014not that you\u2019re not!\u2014but it just looks a little different than I had <em>anticipated<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which makes the point: \u201cit\u2019s always been\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve always had misconceptions compared to reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong><em>You<\/em> [Bob] decided: \u201cLet\u2019s go and find out what the Author\/the Creator of love has to say.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly; you read 1 Corinthians 13, and you see a <em>whole different<\/em> picture of love than what you see in rom coms, or what you hear about in pop songs. I wrote the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>; it came out this year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team said, \u201cWe need to come up with something that would take this book and make it accessible for couples to go through together with other couples, have conversations around these subjects.\u201d We\u2019re about to release a small group video series for <em>Love Like You Mean It.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s exciting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is exciting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s good too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was really encouraged by how it turned out. Some of the people we had participate in this process brought a lot to it. Each of these video sessions is about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20 minutes long. It\u2019s easy to do in an adult Sunday school or a small group; you can do it online if you\u2019ve got a Zoom small group that you\u2019re doing these days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Can you just do it as a couple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; it something\/we designed it so that you could use it for pre-marital engagement or one-on-one mentoring with other couples. It\u2019s ten sessions long, but it\u2019s also designed so it can be a \u201cChoose your own\u201d: if you say, \u201cWe\u2019ve only got six weeks to go through something like this,\u201d\u2014well, you do the first and the last, and you pick the middle ones you want to go through\u2014there\u2019s even an assessment you can take to help you determine: \u201cWhich are the ones you need to pay more attention to?\u201d as you go through this series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good idea; we should go through that assessment, Dave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should!\u2014we should give you the assessment and share with our listeners what your strengths and weaknesses are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Maybe we shouldn\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want our listeners to get a little sample of this and to hear some of what\u2019s behind the big idea. This is an excerpt from Session One of the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> small group series, where we talk about the fact that our expectations related to love and marriage are often different than the reality that we experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if you had experience with online dating sites back before you were married. I\u2019m clearly old enough that, before I was married, no such thing existed. I also know some of you are sitting here and that\u2019s how you met one another\u2014was through technology. One of the things I\u2019m told from people, who have been on these sites, is that sometimes the profile picture that you see on the site is not the same as the real life image when you finally meet that person. You\u2019ve got a nice airbrushed glamour shot on the website; then, you meet for coffee; and you go, \u201cOh, you look a little different than you did on the website.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that can also apply to how we think about love and marriage before we\u2019re married versus after we\u2019re married. I think we have this image that love and marriage are going to be this wonderful, beautiful, magical, always romantic, always joy-filled experience. We see the airbrushed image\/the glamour shot; and then, we get married and go, \u201cIt\u2019s like that sometimes when you put a little makeup on; but the rest of the time, it\u2019s kind of\u00a0 ordinary. It\u2019s a little more mundane.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We met at a track meet; We technically met over the phone. When she pulled up to Buffalo Wild Wings, for our karaoke night with my college buddies, she got out of the car. I chose her in that moment; I said, \u201cI choose you,\u201d\u2014like Pikachu\u2014\u201cHere we go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> We met at kickball; I wouldn\u2019t say it was love at first sight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> In the beginning of this relationship, aside from any other relationship, I prayed for him. I told my parents, \u201cThis is going to be my husband,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cPray for him,\u201d \u201cPray for us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> Oh, you did? [Laughter] Oh, the truth shall set you free. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> We met at church; and no, it was not love at first sight. He was a rapper, and I did not enjoy rap music. So, no; it wasn\u2019t love at first sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> You stole my rapper line. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> Oh, sorry! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> For me, it was love at first sight. We met when I was 15. My sister was dating his best friend, and she wanted to visit him at his job. Carlos worked there as well. He came out to say hello. I saw him; I thought, \u201cWho is that?!\u201d But he doesn\u2019t remember that encounter. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carlos:<\/strong> She was too young at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We actually met online, and not love at first sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>That\u2019s awful! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina:<\/strong> I thought, \u201cYou know, this guy is really nice; and he\u2019s widowed like me, and so I need to just\u2026.\u201d We went out on a couple of dates. After awhile, I was like, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t think we should go any further. Our situations are too different.\u201d He told me\/he said, \u201cI believe that you are the one that God has for me. I prayed about it, and I believe that you\u2019re the one that God has for me.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you better pray about it for <em>me<\/em>, then, because God has not told me that!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> I saw her from across the room, and I told one of my friends, \u201cOooh; I\u2019m going to get to know her.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> I did go ahead and call him after that weekend. He gets on the phone; he says, \u201cHey, baby; how are you?\u201d I said, \u201cUm; I\u2019m not your baby, and you don\u2019t know me like that. We don\u2019t even know each other. Why don\u2019t you write me a letter and tell me a little more about yourself?\u201d thinking that he would never write me. I was really trying to brush him off; but he actually wrote me, and sprayed cologne in the card, and sent me a little gift with it. When I read the card, that\u2019s when I fell in love, just by reading the words in the card. He was really a great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> We met on a blind date. We both say it was truly God\u2019s will for us to get married, because it is not in my personality to go on a blind date. It is not in his personality to <em>ask<\/em> anybody on a blind date. Was it love at first sight?\u2014it was <em>like<\/em> at first sight, for sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband:<\/strong> \u2014like at first sight; not love at first sight. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, why did we have these na\u00efve illusions about what marriage and love would be? Well, because we watch movies, or we read Jane Austen novels, or we listen to pop songs. We think this is what the world is supposed to be\/this is what <em>marriage<\/em> is supposed to be; so we come into marriage with this highly romantic, highly emotion-based view of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAuthor and pastor, Dr. Gary Chapman, calls it the \u201ctingles,\u201d\u2014I like that\u2014and I like the tingles; right? We all like the tingles when we feel them in marriage. But as \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Chapman says, the tingles will not sustain you through a lifetime of marriage. The tingles will come and go. When they come, it\u2019s great; and when they\u2019re gone, we miss them. But that\u2019s not what real love is all about in the first place\u2014may be an aspect of our love for one another\u2014but it\u2019s not the foundation of our love for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what this series is all about: \u201cHow do we get a better understanding of what the Bible describes as the foundation for love in marriage? How do we build a marriage on the foundation that is described for us in the Bible?\u201d It\u2019s a foundation\/it\u2019s a kind of love that has fiber, and grit, and substance to it. That\u2019s the kind of love we need to build a marriage on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGratefully, the Bible describes that for us in 1 Corinthians 13. You\u2019ve probably heard that passage of Scripture\/maybe read it yourself; but have we really stopped to think deeply about it?\u2014to ponder it; to dig down and say, \u201cWhat does this passage tell us about what real love is supposed to look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a little like our wedding vows\u2014you remember, when we got married, and they said, \u201cDo you promise to love, honor, and cherish?\u201d\u2014we heard those words and we thought, \u201cYes, of course; I promise to do that.\u201d But did we really stop to think: \u201cWhat does love, and honor, and cherish\u2014what does that look like? What does that mean? What does that <em>require<\/em> of me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat vow to love, honor, and cherish is not a vow that I will always feel a certain way about you in marriage. It\u2019s a vow that I will always <em>choose<\/em> to act a certain way\u2014I will always make <em>choices<\/em> that are loving, and honoring, and cherishing\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re <em>promising<\/em> one another. That\u2019s a big promise, but that\u2019s the promise that we made when we married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting to see how people look at social media and look at love and look at families. In the beginning of our marriage, I always said, when we got in an argument, that she wanted us to be like <em>The Notebook. The Notebook <\/em>is the defining movie for me\u2014I\u2019ve never seen it; I would never watch it\u2014but I\u2019ve seen enough of the credits and the previews to know that everything that she wanted out of life, and everything she saw out of life, was based on <em>The Notebook<\/em>. I don\u2019t want no parts of <em>The Notebook<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife: <\/strong>It\u2019s my favorite movie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man: <\/strong>We\u2019re not ever going to be out in the rain, kissing. Maybe, we might be out in the rain, kissing, one day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> \u2014maybe one day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wife:<\/strong> I\u2019ll accept that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong> Yes; but it\u2019s not going to be a huge love story behind it, outside of the fact that we\u2019re real people, and we don\u2019t like each other sometimes. We always love each other, but we dislike us sometimes\u2014that\u2019s what we always tell people: \u201cYou can dislike somebody and love them at the same time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that fun? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That guy is as <em>real<\/em> as they get.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I like him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We wanted to bring <em>real<\/em> life and make this a real-life thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You mean real in that every woman wants her marriage to be like <em>The Notebook<\/em>? [Laughter] Yes?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014<em>The Notebook. <\/em>[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I love you, and sometimes I don\u2019t like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t love you. It\u2019s hard; it\u2019s messy, but I still love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann and I would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you telling me something there? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When Mary Ann and I are talking to an engaged couple, I will often say, \u201cNow look; marriage is going to be harder than you realize.\u201d Mary Ann will say, \u201cAnd it\u2019s <em>wonderful<\/em>.\u201d And I will say, \u201cYes; and it\u2019s harder than you realize,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s <em>wonderful<\/em>,\u201d\u2014because you want them to understand\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You want them to be <em>excited<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cThis is <em>great<\/em> and it\u2019s hard, simultaneously; but it\u2019s so worth what it\u2019s all about.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And they won\u2019t know you\u2019re telling them the truth until they\u2019re in that reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We go on in the series to take couples to the source material for where you find what love is all about; and that\u2019s the Bible. Let\u2019s listen to another excerpt from the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me read the biblical description of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and remind us of what the Bible says here. You probably heard these words before, but I want us to think carefully and deeply about this. As I read this passage, you might be thinking: \u201cDoes this sound like me? Is this describing me? Am I this kind of person?\u201d You can take the word, \u201clove,\u201d out\u2014and put your name in\u2014and say, \u201cWould these things be true about me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo that as I read 1 Corinthians 13, starting at verse 4. The Bible says, \u201cLove is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong-doing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the kind of love that is the right kind of foundation for a marriage to thrive\/for couples to flourish. With this foundation in place, marriage can be what God designed for it to be. But when we settle for something less than this\u2014when we try to build our marriage on something that is a less firm foundation than this kind of gritty love that\u2019s being described here\u2014we\u2019ll have a less-than-fulfilling and less-than-God-honoring marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it takes work; there are no shortcuts. This is hard to pursue; you don\u2019t just fall in to this kind of love. This is the kind of love that has to be worked on, has to be cultivated, has to be nurtured. Let me add this: \u201cWhen this love is <em>not<\/em> present in a marriage, whatever else that marriage might be\u201d\u2014it might be a happy marriage; you might be mutually-appealing to one another; you might get along well with one another; you can co-exist; you can have an okay marriage without this kind of love\u2014\u201cbut what you can <em>never<\/em> have is the kind of marriage that God intended or that glorifies Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might be the ideal spouse: you\u2019re charming; you\u2019re responsible; you\u2019re good-looking; you\u2019re successful; you\u2019re fun-loving; you\u2019re intelligent\u2014you\u2019re all of these wonderful things\u2014but 1 Corinthians 13 says it doesn\u2019t matter how gifted you are, how skilled you are, how noble you are\u2014if love is absent, then what you\u2019ve got on the other side is <em>nothing.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you hear that? It says everything, minus love, equals <em>nothing<\/em>; that\u2019s the calculation in the Bible. Without love, you don\u2019t have anything that honors God; you don\u2019t have anything that pleases God. You might have a nice marriage; but unless you have the <em>greater<\/em> love that the Bible talks about\u2014a love that lays down its life for others\u2014then it\u2019s always going to be less than fully satisfying for you, and it\u2019s <em>never<\/em> going to be the kind of marriage that displays God in His glory to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know if there was really a specific instance; but I remember, early on, feeling like, \u201cOkay; this is going to take leaning in.\u201d Love is not obviously just butterflies and all these mushy feelings all the time\u2014I knew that going into marriage\u2014but then a few months after we\u2019d gotten married, I was like, \u201cThis means having hard conversations and admitting I\u2019m wrong; and admitting that I lashed out; or I was impatient\u2014or fill in the blank.\u201d It\u2019s having conversations that aren\u2019t always fun, and I\u2019m not good at that at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re [to husband] way better at admitting, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this; we need to figure this out.\u201d I would just rather avoid it. I needed to realize, \u201cIf this is going to work\/if I\u2019m going to love you the way I need to, I need to really lean into this and have the kind of conversations that we need to have.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Husband: <\/strong>Yes; I think I quickly understood that we were at different places, mentally and spiritually\u2014I feel like not behind each other or anything\u2014but just in different places. Understanding who she was and how she processed things was a huge part of that in growing. I can be the kind of person who wants to handle it right then and there, and \u201cLet\u2019s get it over with.\u201d She needs to think about it and talk through it. I think that was a big part in the first year of our marriage\u2014really understanding each other, and where we were at, and how we liked to process things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Our relationship, as husband and wife, should have, at its core, a passionate commitment to want to see the other person in our marriage thrive, to see them excel, to see them be the person God wants them to be. God wants us to experience, in marriage, a taste of the joy that the Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit have experienced in their union\/in their oneness throughout eternity as they have loved one another with perfect unity. God says, \u201cI want your marriage to give you a taste of the joy that We\u2019ve experienced and the joy that you\u2019re invited into, as a son or daughter of God, and that you will experience for eternity with Us as you surrender your life to Christ.\u201d That\u2019s what this study is all about\u2014that kind of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you, who are very practically-minded people, you may find yourself a little frustrated in this series, thinking, \u201cI looked through the manual. Where\u2019s the section o sex?\u201d or \u201c\u2026finances?\u201d or \u201c\u2026communication?\u201d or \u201c\u2026parenting?\u201d or \u201c\u2026conflict resolution?\u201d Those are all common issues we face in marriage\u2014and they\u2019re not unimportant issues\u2014they\u2019re issues that need to be addressed, and biblical wisdom needs to be brought to those issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019m suggesting in this series is that: \u201cBefore we focus on <em>those<\/em> issues, let\u2019s focus on the foundation. Let\u2019 s make sure we understand what love is. Let\u2019s make sure we understand what we\u2019re to build our marriage on. If we understand what love is and if we get the foundation right, that\u2019s going to affect our communication; that\u2019s going to affect our conflict resolution, our parenting, our finances, our sexual intimacy. All of those manifestations of love\/all those practical realities of love will grow best when they grow in the soil of the kind of love that\u2019s defined for us here in the Bible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s get ready to look carefully at what the Bible says real love looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening, again, to an excerpt from the new <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series that\u2019s about to be released by FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a series for couples to go through with other couples in a small group; a mentor couple with a younger couple; husband and wife could go through this on their own and have a conversation about it. We want couples to start thinking more biblically about love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay; what if I\u2019m a wife, who has a husband, who isn\u2019t interested?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think you could say to your spouse, \u201cHey, I want to show you a ten-minute video clip.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Good idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Show him the first half of Session One and say, \u201cIs this something we could do together?\u201d or \u201c\u2026do with other couples?\u201d I think a lot of spouses\/maybe a lot of husbands\u2014they hear about something like this\u2014and they go, \u201cOh, I don\u2019t want to. This is just going to be ten sessions of <em>torture<\/em> for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cof what I should do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And maybe watching a little bit of it, they would go, \u201cYes, this would be okay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019d just say to the man: \u201cDude, do this; do this. I mean it! You don\u2019t think this is going to help? There\u2019s one thing: to do it [watch] with your wife; that\u2019s great. You do it [watch] with other couples; and you see how real\/their marriage and your marriage are similar in struggles. You hear God\u2019s Word; God\u2019s going to show up and do something.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Couples, who have been through your <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, this could be the follow-up from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Perfect follow-up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019d be great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And couples, who haven\u2019t gone through <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>, should check it out as well. In fact, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to find out more about the new <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series, or about the <em>Vertical Marriage <\/em>video series, or about the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series. We\u2019ve got a lot of resources available. You\u2019ll find the information on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call if you have any questions. Call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Call to order the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> video series or if you have any questions about any of the other series we have available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say a word of thanks to those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and make these resources possible, especially our monthly Legacy Partners. Legacy Partners provide the financial stability\/the backbone for this ministry, month in and month out. You make it possible for us to consistently provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. You keep this program on the air on your local station and on stations all around the country, so thank you for your partnership with us. We hope you realize there are hundreds of thousands of husbands and wives\/moms and dads, who are benefitting every day as a result of your financial investment. We appreciate you, and we\u2019re grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the unusual place the Bible begins in defining what real love looks like\u2014the first word\/the first description for love. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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