{"id":306530,"date":"2020-11-07T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-11-07T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/safe-at-home\/"},"modified":"2020-11-07T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-11-07T12:00:05","slug":"safe-at-home","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/safe-at-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Safe At Home"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>These days, many people feel it wouldn&#8217;t be safe to go outside without a mask on. And yet others, need to arm their security system at night in order to sleep. According to Barbara Rainey there&#8217;s one place we might not be securing, and it&#8217;s probably doing more harm than good. Barbara outlines what it takes to make your home safe, on FamilyLife This Week.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tEver Thine Home Blog https:\/\/everthinehome.com\/blog\/<br \/>\n \tARTICLE: Three Ways to Make Your Home Safe Before the Storms of Life Hit by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 https:\/\/everthinehome.com\/three-ways-to-make-your-home-safe-before-the-storms-of-life-hit\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\n \tLearn more about becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife. https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/legacy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>These days, many people feel it wouldn&#8217;t be safe to go outside without a mask on. And yet others, need to arm their security system at night in order to sleep. According to Barbara Rainey there&#8217;s one place we might not be securing, and it&#8217;s probably doing more harm than good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-11-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883198","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4823],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-306530","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-home","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306530\/safe-at-home","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306530\/safe-at-home","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BtagaRe6km\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/safe-at-home\/\">Safe At Home<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/safe-at-home\/embed\/#?secret=BtagaRe6km\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Safe At Home&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BtagaRe6km\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"These days, many people feel it wouldn't be safe to go outside without a mask on. And yet others, need to arm their security system at night in order to sleep. According to Barbara Rainey there's one place we might not be securing, and it's probably doing more harm than good.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-11-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Many people feel that it\u2019s good to lock your doors. These days, many people feel that it wouldn\u2019t be safe going out in public without a mask on. Yet others need to arm their security system at night in order to sleep. Barbara Rainey says there\u2019s one place that we might not be securing, and it\u2019s probably doing more harm than good.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I was <em>hyper-vigilant<\/em> on the few screens we had\u2014the TV screen and the computer screen\u2014I was just <em>hyper-vigilant<\/em>. I was even hyper-vigilant about the music the kids listened to, because there are messages that come in that can be dangerous messages; they can challenge our safety and they can make us <em>feel<\/em> insecure\/threatened\u2014all kinds of things. We need to guard against those as much as we guard against physical harm that our families might run into. It\u2019s a statement of the value of home; it\u2019s supposed to be a safe place.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So how are you doing with screens and the messages they bring? We\u2019re going to talk about being <em>safe<\/em> at home with Barbara Rainey on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\nWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em> I\u2019m Michelle Hill. You know, we live in a season where we are spending <em>a lot more time<\/em> in our houses\/in our homes. I want you to sit and ponder: \u201cWhat does that mean to you?\u2014watching TV?\u2014playing on your phone?\u2014playing with your kids?\u2014reading a book?\u2014working?\u201d\n\nYou know, home is a place to eat your meals; it\u2019s a place that you sleep\/a place you relax; it\u2019s the place your family gathers\u2014but it is <em>more<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s a place of safety. Recently, I was reading an article by Barbara Rainey. She wrote about <em>three<\/em> ways to make your home safe. You know, I had never taken the time to think of my home as <em>safe<\/em>.\n\nRemember, when we were kids, and that first sleepover? You were so excited to go; but at 9:30, your friend\u2019s mom had to call your dad to come pick you up because it wasn\u2019t home, and you didn\u2019t feel safe. There\u2019s an element of safety in our homes for most of us. This thought\u2014it just so intrigued me\u2014so I asked Barbara to come help us understand what being safe at home means in <em>today\u2019s<\/em> world. Here\u2019s Barbara.\n\n[Previous Interview]\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I realized as this quarantine happened\u2014the pandemic came and people started staying home\u2014that there\u2019s <em>so much<\/em> more to the concept of home than we realize. I think we\u2019ve been so busy in the past decade or more that we have begun to think of home as just a refueling station.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We don\u2019t really think of it, I don\u2019t believe, in the way God thinks of it. I think the pandemic forced us to see home as a different kind of place than we were used to thinking about it.\n\nI think God intends for home\u2014that place where we live\u2014and everybody has a home. Even the homeless have homes: they make cardboard box homes; they make little tent cities. Everybody creates home\u2014even if it isn\u2019t four walls, or two stories; if it\u2019s an apartment\u2014everybody creates home. I think it\u2019s because we were made for home.\n\nI think the whole idea of being safe at home is what we are longing for. I think the pandemic reminded us of that, just as 9\/11 reminded us of that. I don\u2019t know if you\u2014I know you remember\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014because everybody remembers where they were and what they were doing. One of the stories that I remember so vividly was how everybody was trying to get home after the Twin Towers blew up. There were people that we knew, who were on trips, and their flights were canceled; and they couldn\u2019t get home. There were no rental cars, and they couldn\u2019t get home.\n\nI think we are built for this <em>place<\/em> that we call home. I think it\u2019s because we were built for family; we were built for those relationships, because God designed us that way. God lives in a home; God has a relationship within the Trinity. He, as a Person, has a home\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s heaven. He\u2019s built it for us for us and for us to experience that with Him.\n\nI think, as I started experiencing being home more\u2014even sometimes [more] than I <em>wanted <\/em>to be, as a homebody, during the quarantine time\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014I began to understand that home is really much more important than I had thought of it. That\u2019s the reason I started thinking through this article that I wrote for the blog on why home is important and why it needs to be a safe place.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> As you were discovering just what home was\/what it was to everybody else, which I think it\u2019s brilliant that you said it was a \u201crecharging place.\u201d I know, for me, up until the pandemic, <em>I<\/em> was feeling it was my recharging place. As an introvert, I would go home and I would be quiet; or I would watch TV; or I\u2019d read a book; or that\u2019s the place that I would cook, and I would have some friends in. It\u2019s the place that I felt like, \u201cThis is the place I can breathe; this is the place that I can just be.\u201d But since the pandemic, I\u2019m sitting here, going, \u201cThis is the place that I\u2019m <em>always <\/em>in. This is the place that I\u2019m <em>always<\/em> breathing. This is the place I\u2019m <em>always<\/em> just being.\u201d\n\nSo when you take a look at <em>safety<\/em>, how do you explain safety when we look at home? How does that play into it?\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think we intuitively and instinctively know that home should be a safe place. I think that\u2019s why everyone wanted to get home in the aftermath of 9\/11. I think that\u2019s why, even though this was mandated for most Americans to go home\u2014because that was the best way for them to control the spread of the virus and more outbreaks\u2014it, again, is a statement of the value of home; it\u2019s supposed to be a safe place.\n\nI\u2019ve just started thinking about: \u201cWhat makes my home safe? How can I make it <em>more<\/em> of a safe place? What does God even want me to do so that my home <em>is <\/em>a safe place?\u201d\n\nYes, I think it is a recharging station; but I think it\u2019s more than that. In the post that I wrote, I talked about things that I did when I was raising kids to make it safe. I wanted it to be safe for my children when they came home from school, where they could talk about whatever happened\u2014about experiences with other kids, teachers, etc.\u2014so that they knew that they could have a place to debrief, and to be real, and to process what they were experiencing as they were growing up.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; now, let\u2019s camp on that for just a second\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Okay; sure.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014because there are parents, who are thinking, \u201cMy kid doesn\u2019t trust me. How do I go about making it a safe place so that they will share what\u2019s going on and what\u2019s truly happening?\u201d How did you and Dennis do that?\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think we started by just verbally letting our kids know\u2014at the very beginning, when they were very little\u2014that talking about what you were feeling was okay. We talked about how they felt when they were hurt when they were little\/preschoolers. We talked about how they felt when there were happy and sad; we tried to learn to name the emotions with them so that they began to have a vocabulary for that part of who they were. We didn\u2019t do it perfectly by any means, but we <em>tried<\/em> to do that. We tried to enter into what they were experiencing, even as little ones.\n\nDid our kids tell us everything?\u2014no. [Laughter] We found out things after they were adults; we went: \u201cOh, my gosh! I had <em>no<\/em> idea!\u201d\u2014you know. They\u2019re not going to tell you everything; but if they tell you <em>some<\/em> things, that\u2019s better than nothing.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, the quarantine and these days of COVID have been hard\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014on everyone.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014everyone.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I have a friend, whose son is entering into the ninth-grade year. It\u2019s been <em>so<\/em> difficult on their relationship. For somebody, who is basically trying to start now\u2014maybe they hadn\u2019t worked and developed that relationship\u2014but who is wanting to start now in the high school years, how would you coach them on begin the safe person and having to rebuild that kind of relationship?\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think we can <em>always<\/em> start over. That\u2019s the great thing about the gospel\u2014is that Jesus <em>always<\/em> is ready to give us a new beginning. I was just talking to my daughter yesterday or the day before\u2014recently, anyway\u2014and she was saying, \u201cI\u2019ve realized that if I\u201d\u2014and she\u2019s our oldest, who has <em>all<\/em> boys\u2014she said, \u201cI\u2019ve realized, if I ask my big boys if I can take them to lunch and buy them something fun to eat in exchange for a conversation, they\u2019re happy to go out to eat.\u201d [Laughter] She said, \u201cI took my 15-year-old out\u201d\u2014or 16\u2014\u201cthe other day for lunch.\u201d She said, \u201cI had the best conversation, because he knew that was kind of part of the bargain: I was going to buy him food and \u2018She was going to ask me questions; and we were going to talk.\u2019\u201d\n\nYou know, it isn\u2019t going to happen in one conversation\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014it isn\u2019t going to happen overnight\u2014but I think moms and dads can do that. You don\u2019t quit; you just keep after it\u2014like God stays after us\u2014you stay after your kids, and make those opportunities happen as much as you can; so that you\u2019ve got those moments, when you can catch a glimpse of what\u2019s going on in your child\u2019s heart and soul.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And I love how you say, \u201cYou can always start over.\u201d\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we can.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You can always start over: I think that\u2019s our relationship with God, many times\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, it is; always.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014 is that we\u2019re like, \u201cOh, Lord, forgive me for this. Please help me to start over.\u201d\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And that\u2019s the same way with a parent-child relationship.\n\n[Studio]\n\nGreat advice from Barbara Rainey about how to make home a safe place for our children. We\u2019re going to continue talking with Barbara about safe at home. Stay tuned. We have to take a break, but we\u2019ll be back in <em>two<\/em> minutes.\n\n[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\n[Previous Interview]\n\n<strong>Michelle:\u00a0<\/strong>Welcome back to\u00a0<em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill, talking today with Barbara Rainey; and we\u2019re discussing about being safe at home.\n\nYou know, Barbara, life has just been <em>so different<\/em> and <em>difficult<\/em> in 2020. I can\u2019t help but think that safety means different things to different people. Can you help us unpack that?\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I\u2019ve thought about this, especially in this era that we\u2019re living in, in 2020; 2020 is <em>so<\/em> different than any of us ever thought it would be, and it\u2019s not over yet. I think, when we think of the word, \u201csafety\u201d\u2014I\u2019ve watched my youngest daughter and her generation\u2014because it\u2019s kind of a different generation than my oldest daughter, because they\u2019re ten years apart.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> My youngest one is just now having her babies. They think about life through the lens of safety in a different way than we did. The car seats are so much more advanced then they were when I had car seats, and even when my oldest daughter, Ashley, had car seats.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I grew up in an era when we\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014didn\u2019t have car seats!\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes! We didn\u2019t have car seats! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I know! Exactly! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I remember crawling from the back seat to the front seat and back again! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I know.\n\nThis younger generation\/these young families in their 20s and early 30s have different\u2014they\u2019ve got baby monitors, and they\u2019ve got cameras everywhere, and they have all these devices and all these things for <em>safety<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s all about physical safety. I don\u2019t disagree with any of it\u2014I\u2019m really kind of glad I didn\u2019t have it, because I think it would have made me worry more if I had all these contraptions, and I could see everything on the camera that was happening\u2014but nonetheless, there\u2019s nothing wrong with it; but it\u2019s all about physical safety\/it\u2019s all about our physical well-being.\n\nI think safety is so much broader than that. I think it encompasses what we bring into our house, emotionally, what we bring in from the world. Most of that comes in through screens\u2014it comes in through other ways as well\u2014but I think, primarily, it comes in through screens. I don\u2019t think parents have the same hyper-sensitivity to that danger as they do the physical dangers for their children. It\u2019s been interesting to watch, because I think it may be a ploy of the enemy\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014but I just watch how there\u2019s just a very big difference in what they value in terms of safety.\n\nI remember, when we were raising our kids, I was <em>hyper-vigilant<\/em> on the few screens we had\u2014the TV screen and the computer screen\u2014I was just <em>hyper-vigilant<\/em>. I was even hyper-vigilant about the music the kids listened to, because there are messages that come in that can be dangerous messages that can challenge our safety and that can make us <em>feel<\/em> insecure\/threatened\u2014all kinds of things. We need to guard against those as much as we guard against physical harm that our families might run into.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I was talking with a young mom not so long ago. She went through, basically, a screen fast\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014and shut off all her social media sites on her phone\u2014actually, took them off\u2014so that it would force her to go to her computer. She said that that was much more difficult, because she had an infant in the home. The baby is nine months, so she\u2019s running after their child everywhere.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> She was like, \u201cIt was <em>harder<\/em> to do that\u2014to get on the computer and make that kind of time.\u201d She said that what it did for her\u2014it just helped her relax\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, I\u2019m sure!\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014in a way that she hadn\u2019t felt before, because she grew up\u2014she\u2019s in her mid-20s\u2014and she grew up with all these screens.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> She didn\u2019t realize just the calm that she was feeling. Even though she felt like, \u201cI\u2019m missing out on something,\u201d there was a calm in her spirit.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, yes. I don\u2019t think, even those of us who don\u2019t have kids, realize how controlling the devices are that we have attached to our bodies. I mean, they\u2019re in our pockets; they\u2019re in our purses; they\u2019re with us <em>all the time<\/em>. It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> just the danger of bad things, like pornography; it\u2019s just the distraction\u2014the constant distraction\/the constant taking our eyes, and our heart, and our thoughts away from what\u2019s around us and onto this little tiny space.\n\nI think we\u2019re not enjoying creation; we\u2019re not enjoying quiet; we\u2019re not enjoying a lot of things that previous generations were surrounded\/previous generations were surrounded by these things. We are, too, because we live in the same world; but we\u2019re not taking advantage of God\u2019s good creation as much\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014because we\u2019re so attached to these devices. I see that as a safety issue\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014because, I think, we\u2019re not protecting our souls; we\u2019re not protecting that sanctuary within, where God dwells. We\u2019re not protecting our emotional health\/our spiritual health.\n\nI think we\u2019re pretty good about our physical health\u2014for the most part, most of us are; we\u2019ve been made so aware of that because of the pandemic\u2014but there are so many other levels of health and well-being that we need to protect and keep safe that we take for granted, I think.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How do we go about keeping this sanctuary\u2014where God dwells in our hearts\u2014how do we keep <em>that<\/em> safe?\u2014especially, as we\u2019re talking about screens\u2014what are some ways that we can do that?\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t have a list; I wish I did. I think the <em>main<\/em> thing is just to pay attention to your heart\/pay attention to your soul: \u201cPay attention to what feeds you and what doesn\u2019t feed you\u201d; \u201cWhat doesn\u2019t bring safety?\u201d; \u201cWhat doesn\u2019t bring hope and life?\u201d\n\nYou know, we\u2019re all so different. In my relationship with Dennis, I\u2019m realizing that we are two <em>radically<\/em> different people. [Laughter] It\u2019s just another illustration of how radically different men and women are. He can watch something on TV; and because men have these compartments, he can stick it in a compartment, close the door, and go to bed, and be asleep in 60 seconds or less. [Laughter] I can see the same thing\u2014and it may not be difficult; it may not be terrible; I mean, we don\u2019t watch terrible stuff!\u2014\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014right? But I can see or hear the same thing, and I can\u2019t put it in a room and close the door. I\u2019ll be awake for two hours; and so then, the next day, I\u2019m starting in a deficit. I know all this about me; I\u2019ve known all this about me for years; it\u2019s part of the reason we quit going to movies, for years, when we were raising our kids. If we would go out for dinner, and then go to a movie that ended at 10:00 or 10:30 at night and come home, I was a <em>wreck<\/em> the next day. I just engage, emotionally, with things in a way that he doesn\u2019t.\n\nWe quit going to movies; for years, we just didn\u2019t go! I missed it; but I just knew that it wasn\u2019t what I needed, because I was just parenting full-time. I needed to be whole, and healthy, and strong, and not distracted by some story that wasn\u2019t even real.\n\nHere we are in this season of our life, where I don\u2019t have that\u2014I don\u2019t have kids waking me up in the morning at 6:30, and I need to be ready to go\u2014but I still want to live my life unencumbered; I still want to live my life not distracted\/not bogged down by things that are not healthy for me.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> So even now, in this season of life, I\u2019m still trying to figure out that balance\/that right blend of partaking and understanding what\u2019s happening in the world without it sabotaging my well-being.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I just think it\u2019s an ongoing process. It\u2019s the analogy I\u2019ve used for decades\u2014it\u2019s riding a bike. You\u2019re <em>never<\/em> perfectly balanced when you\u2019re riding a bike; you\u2019re shifting constantly. You\u2019re shifting your weight from one side to the other to maintain that equilibrium. You\u2019re crossing between it; you\u2019re going back and forth.\n\nYou know, I see that as something that I\u2019m trying to do in my life, too; I\u2019m trying to figure out: \u201cWhat can I absorb?\u201d \u201cWhat can I hear\u201d?\u201d What can I read?\u201d \u201cWhat is good for me and what\u2019s not?\u201d \u201cHow do I keep that steady rhythm so that I can pay attention to my soul, and I can pay attention to what God wants to do in my heart, and I\u2019m not being distracted by things that are not good for me\/that are not healthy for me?\u201d\n\nEven if my husband can absorb things that I can\u2019t, I\u2019m just figuring out a way to live together that is good for him and is good for me. I don\u2019t have a list; I wish I did. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> No; but I think what you were sharing is such a good thing, because we live in a day and time when we want to do everything.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And what you\u2019re saying is: \u201cI loved movies, but I had to take that out of my life so that I could be the best person that I am.\u201d\n\nI have a friend who\u2019s on a Keto diet. She <em>loves<\/em> certain foods, but she\u2019s the best person that she can be for her family\u2014\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right; exactly.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014when she\u2019s on this specific diet.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, I understand that, too; yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying: \u201cEven though you don\u2019t have the list, you\u2019re saying, \u2018I need to be the best person that God has asked me to be.\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> There are going to be some things that I have to take out in order to be that person.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. The diet illustration is a great one, because I had to do the same thing because of my allergies. I mean, when I was probably in my 40s, I finally decided I was tired of sneezing and having headaches\u2014all of that\u2014all of the time. I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t care anymore that I\u2019m not going to enjoy certain things; it\u2019s worth it to me to feel good. It\u2019s worth it to me to be all-present, and to not be distracted by a sinus headache or sneezing all day long, because of the season that it is.\u201d\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I altered my diet; I took out things. It was a process of learning what bothered me\/what didn\u2019t; but it\u2019s the same as your friend. I think it\u2019s being wise about who we are in this broken world: what we can tolerate\/what we can\u2019t tolerate. It doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s good or it\u2019s bad; it\u2019s right or it\u2019s wrong\u2014it\u2019s the way God made me. I have battled allergies since I was four; it\u2019s an ongoing balancing. Again, it\u2019s riding the bike.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> For me, it\u2019s riding the bike of allergies: \u201cWhat can I have? What can\u2019t I have? How do I figure this thing out so that I can be fully present as God designed me to be, and not side-lined because I\u2019m doing things that are not healthy for me?\u201d\n\nSafety is a lot broader than just our physical safety: it\u2019s our emotional safety and well-being. It\u2019s my physical well-being because of what I know is true about me\u2014with my allergies, now, how I have to juggle that\u2014and on and on. It\u2019s a much broader issue than I think I thought of when I first started thinking about this.\n\nI think it\u2019s very unique and individual, which is what I love about God\u2014I mean, I love a lot of things\u2014but I <em>love<\/em> that He deals with us individually. Everyone is unique, and He wants us to be unique. I think it helps me know that I can go to Him with all of these things. He knows all about the way I\u2019m made; He knows everything I\u2019m allergic to; He knows what all these things do to me and don\u2019t do to me; and He\u2019s there waiting, saying, \u201cI can help you with that.\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cI can help you with that. I\u2019ll show you what to avoid.\u201d\n\nYou know, I want to do what everybody else does; we all want to do what everybody else does. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We do!\n\n<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> But I\u2019m learning it just doesn\u2019t pay. So \u201cOkay; I\u2019ll go with the way You\u2019ve made me, God. I\u2019d rather do that.\u201d\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Barbara Rainey with some <em>great<\/em> advice\/some advice that I think we all need to remember, especially as we\u2019re walking through the stress of what is happening in our world right now. Even the safety of our home\u2014we need to take our eyes off ourselves and put them where they need to be\u2014and that is remember who God is and knowing that He knows us so well. He\u2019s got this! He\u2019s got this; we are in His hands.\n\nYou know, I mentioned at the beginning that I had been reading Barbara\u2019s blog. Well, we have a link to that blog on our website; go to FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; that\u2019s FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. I hope you are as encouraged as I was by reading some of her articles.\n\nHey, this was such a <em>great<\/em> conversation on what safety means and what home means. I asked Barbara to stick around, because we need to talk again <em>next<\/em> week about this and unpack some more. We need to understand what it means to anchor our house on the Rock\u2014that is pure safety; isn\u2019t it? And also, we dream a little about what our ultimate home in heaven might look like. I want you to join us for that.\n\nHey, thanks for listening. I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\nOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\nI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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